#i found this while looking for lgbt symbolism

[clonepa]

came across this really cool version of the bisexual flag from mexico that sports a trillum. unfortunately bicafe.com no longer exists so i cannot find the article talking about the addition of this symbol from 1999 all i have the account by crwflags.com

#i found this while looking for lgbt symbolism #if youre curious

[iamafanofcartoons]

100+ REASONS TO WATCH AND ENJOY RWBY

Let’s put this as simply as we can.

Now, I understand you’ll need further reasons to look into the show that was created by Monty Oum, Miles Luna, and Kerry Shawcross.

SO! Here is 100+ Reasons to give RWBY a shot, plus a resource list link at the end. ENJOY!

1) Sci-fi/fantasy show that balances the two aspects very well 2) Endearing characters 3) Deep underlying messages about the importance of human connection 4) Constantly improves on itself 5) Writers actually try to listen to what the fandom wants 6) Creative setting 7) Actually handles difficult topics, like communication, privilege, and the cycle of abuse in a way that is sensitive to the audience 8) Ending is already set, meaning the show is not at risk of selling out to corporate overlords 9) God-tier foreshadowing 10) Top notch fight choreography 11) EVERYTHING IS A GUN 12) RWBY unambiguously avoids Depraved Homosexual tropes - no evil LGBT characters

13) No surprise plot twists for the sake of shock value 14) The soundtrack Not only does it slap, bits of lore and characterization can be found in the series music 15) Character design 16) Symbolism and metaphors and hidden meanings abound Can make for an enriching experience if you have knowledge about color theory and fairy tales and historical/mythological figures 17) Nuanced portrayal of morality between heroes, villains, and those who are neither 18) Layered writing where not everything, especially conflict, is clear-cut and easily resolved 19) Portrays trauma without over-dramatization 20) Production values improve with each volume 21) Hopepunk 22) Female-Centric main cast All the “Fix-it” fanfics and “Rewrites” involve Male-Centric Casts and/or taking time away from female main casts to focus on male characters, especially male side characters. 23) No surprise plot twists for the sake of shock value meets Thanos snap. 24) Good bits of humor sprinkled throughout without being overbearing 25) A few villians that while irredeemable, are interesting to watch in how they act. 26) Masterpiece of a comedy spinoff 27) You can legally watch the show for free 28) Subverts narrative tropes common to both "western" hero stories and anime 29) Gender dynamics and expectations are well-balanced Gender  tropes subverted, and addressed directly at times 30) Comfortably addresses class warfare, alcoholism, and other "mature" topics in approachable ways 31) Corgi 32) Combat Skirt 33) Women get to have pockets and pouches... 34) Women not requiring a man to save them 35) Large number of POC portrayed positively 36) LGBT are neither creeps nor villains, instead the straight people are. 37) POC are neither creeps nor villains as a majority...instead the white people are. 38) The “White Male Savior” with the mask, trenchcoat, and katana is the villain, while the underdog protector of the lower-income is a POC woman who may or may not be lesbian. 39) Meaningful facial expressions (that is, the animators spend time creating mood and reaction to elevate the storytelling) 40) Main antagonist is a woman, as are several of the other antagonists and they are NOT ditzes or idiots, nor are they fanservice. 41) The women are as intelligent as the men, where most anime try to have men be superior than women for the sake of shounen, the women are equal to men in screentime, plot relevance, intelligence, strength, personality, etc....though RWBY tries to have the women take precedence. 42) Men are support characters with their powers, while Women have more protagonist superpowers. 43) Positive half-sibling and stepmother representation 44) Positive honorary family member representation 45) Gay shipping and Lesbian shipping is encouraged by the writers and voice actors/actresses 46) The Main female protagonist's blood-based superpower is not broken or OP and has limits. 47) Well-executed humor (usually, ha). Basically trying NOT to make it fanservice or toilet humor or cringe. 48) Creators at least try to fix its less than stellar/problematic parts, which is more that I can say than the majority of entertainment. 49) Female characters are complex and interesting, also for the most part don’t woobified female villains. 50) Terrifying Villains and Monsters There is a difference. V1-V3 involved Monsters , V4-V8 involved Villains. 51) Every Character is based on a fairy tale/myth/legend/story and looking for those breadcrumbs just adds to the show 52) Already said, but emphasizing the fight choreography and the soundtrack. If you love over-the-top video game style fights this is for you. If you love epic metal playing over those fights this is for you. 53) Plays with tropes and story telling norms to subvert expectations in the best way 54) Not afraid to have tonal shifts to tell the story they want to tell 55) Not afraid to have the heroes lose sometimes 56) And plot points have consequences!!! None of this "bad thing happens and 1 episode later the status quo is restored" 57) Emphasizing foreshadowing again. Things that happened in season 8 were foreshadowed as far back as season 2. 58) The main characters are proactive. None of this waiting around for them to get up the courage to do something about the bad guys. Don't give me the “manor tea” stuff, they were trying to recover, Ironwood had it out for them and would have shot them for helping while refusing to obey him. 59) The Main characters are smart. They notice things (and come up with really cool strategies) 60) At least one villain does NOT underestimate the main characters 61) Everyone doesn't let characters use false justification for their actions regardless who it is! Everyone gets a consequence that fits! 62) Soundtrack is LIT 63) Gay Gay Homosexual Gay 64) Because I'm still on this, two autistic-coded main characters whose traits aid in their heroism! Ruby and Penny...possibly Marrow Amin 65) Kdin Jenzen, a Transgender VA, plays May Marigold, a transgender heroic side character who does not get killed off. 66) Chaotic teens saving the world with the power of stubborn optimism 67) Opposites Attract Tropes 68) Goth Uncle 69) Goth Milf 70) Himbo Dad 71) Non-sexualized Catgirl 72) Cat Cougar Milf with Tea Tray defeats Bat Assassin 73) Panther Dilf 74) Blonde Brawler Female who is also smart and can work mechanics 75) Female protag uses scythe and cape/cloak 76) It Portrays several different types of abuse ranging from romantic relationships to familial abuse along with accurately portraying them 77) Shows how harmful Alcoholism is 78) When/If a a character dies, it’s for a reason and isn’t for shock value Penny cheated death once...she would not cheat death again. Ozpin's immortality is a curse, and he is truly dead, a ghost. 79) One of the the main-main characters is disabled and isn’t treated as/seen as lesser 80) Male/Female friendships are a thing and abundant Normally if a man and a woman engage, its shipping, not friendships. But with Naruto and Sakura we have friendship. With Ichigo and Rukia its friendship....now that is abundant friendship in RWBY. 81) LGBT Voice Actresses Voice LGBT Characters. Kdin Jenzen is Transgender, Arryn Zech is Bisexual, and so are their characters. 82) All Romantic relationships, heterosexual or not, are given attention and emphasis on their interpersonal relationships 83) Balances tragedy and comedy, there are SEVERAL episodes where you both end up laughing your ass off and crying 84) Never goes all out depressing, the message is clear, it takes it to heart, and it shouts it for all to hear. Sometimes bad things happen. But you have to keep moving forward. 85) Has a variety of characters, each with their own themes/allusions (e.g. Ruby = Red Riding Hood, Team RWBY = Fairy Tale Characters, Team JNPR = Crossdressing Historic Heroes) 86) Amazing Music that builds on the characters' motives 87) You won't suffer vision problems after watching an entire cast that's blindingly white (shounen anime in general) 88) Gay doesn't suddenly die to leave heartbroken love interest Straight and angstily going back to the white guy who killed Gay out of possessive jealousy, which is super romantic. 89) Partners of dead Gays, should a Gay die, will not obligatorily be paired with someone str8   90) Character designs reference various fairy tales and stories, so you can get things like Mulan and Thor being a childhood friends romance, Beast and Beauty being one and the same and in love with Goldilocks, and Red Riding Hood maiming Cinderella, who is evil. 91) Everyone; good, bad, and the minor characters...are all hot. 92) You WILL get attached both to the good and bad characters. 93) All characters have very unique designs that fit their personalities and fighting styles. 94) Emotional/Physical Abusers get killed AFTER being humiliated 95) The Entire Show is full of metaphors and symbolism. The backgrounds, character clothing, the weapons they use... it's fun to analyze! 96) Stresses the importance of just being a nice person above all other stereotypical morally gray anime tropes 97) The people who work the the show. Seriously not just the main people; I'm talking about all the unsung heroes who do amazing background and scenery to sound design, etc. RWBY has some of the nicest, most hard working, and supportive crews I've seen. And considering the amount of harassment the anti-fandom can throw at them, they take and handle it so remarkably well. 98) Every character looks amazing from main to one-off. How their outfits convey who they are so well and sometimes subtlety. Also how the creators and character designers make it so cosplayers can have pockets on their outfits. 99) No  stupid twists for shock value, the twists that do happen are foreseeable but executed in a way that is still shocking. 100) Enjoyable Comedic Spin-off far better written than Teen Titans Go. 101) Awesome weapon concepts 102) Awesome growth of story, plot, and transition of it. 103) People hate it when you have fun watching RWBY....is that not enough?

Need to come up with a list of good youtube channels next.

#RWBY #rooster teeth #monty oum #rwby fandom #rwby community #ruby rwby #weiss rwby #blake rwby #yang rwby #bumbleby #rwby analysis #rwby discussion #rwby meta #rwby fans #rwby positivity #rwby is enjoyable #rwby is a good show #iamafanofcartoons

[starburstfloat]

Let's talk about TXT's MAMA Performance: Lyrics and Stage Analysis

That was amazing! Better than their mma. Idk if the camera work is largely to blame for mma but also narrative wise this one felt like it followed much more of a concrete storyline, and just WOW that entrance with all the crosses and cathedral background...!

Is is a stretch to say it reminded me of yeonjun's "in this endless darkness, like oh my god so holy"?

I found it clever how they utilized religious motifs like the crosses and the coffin in the background to emphasize how their love progressively shifts from something sacred and sanctified to painful and buried. Accepting their loss is much like accepting a death. It makes sense then that they started their performance with opening sequence, which has lyrics that align to this loss:

And also that they then did good boy gone bad, a song that reflects them taking that pain and vulnerability from before, and nurturing it for the worse:

Notice how they start their performance in a cathedral setting, wearing black and white. It feels rather symbolic since black and white are the characteristic opposites used to portray good versus evil, light versus dark, innocence versus impurity - very much in line with the song.

Then when Yeonjun gets dragged away, the cathedral background starts to tilt a bit and it looks like he's being taken outside.

The VCR effect of him falling seems to indicate he's falling into his own grave or maybe even hell. Would make sense with the GBGB lyrics.

When they return, notice how they are now outside the cathedral:

The lighting is red and ominous, a great color to convey their anger. There are crosses around, indicating they may be in a graveyard. Again, all of this lines up so well with the lyrics, of burying their past selves, coming back "like a zombie, dead and alive".

But then the dance break UMMM IT WAS INCREDIBLE?!!!_!$(##(

I can't be the only one who finds it super emblematic how Yeonjun is blindfolded while Soobin is biting on the lace - unable to speak. Basically, Yeonjun's lost his sight and Soobin has lost his voice.

Like this, they'd be unable to find one another. But the thing is, they do. They dance around one another like they're seeking each other out in an almost cat and mouse game of hide and seek, reaching, grabbing then tearing away. But what really caught my attention was Yeonjun cusping Soobin's chin and slowly bringing him closer before Soobin cast him aside.

I wish my screenshots could do it more justice but with the lighting and camera work changing so quickly, it's hard to capture. The dance practice will surely be clearer.

Listen, if you follow me you'll know I'm super gay and I see gay subtext in like everything I consume lmao but I don't think it's much of a stretch to say this moment felt intentionally queer? Religious motifs have been a medium for homosexual representation for ages, mainly because of religion's staunch anti lgbt attitude. And just...the way Yeonjun is blindfolded and Soobin unable to speak...it just screams to me as being representative of a love that cannot be seen or dare to speak its name. And yet they still found each other, among the crosses.

(There is room to assume Soobin wasn't able to tie the blindfold in time and simply put it in his mouth instead, but either way it's an interesting detail and I'm curious to see what the dance practice reveals)

In any case, I found their paired dance shared a similar sentiment to their 0x1=lovesong dance, so if anything they are probably paying homage to their past title tracks

Overall:

TALENTED BRILLIANT INCREDIBLE AMAZING SHOWSTOPPING

I want to give a big kiss to the performance directors and staff that makes this all possible!!! And of course TXT for bringing it all together so beautifully. They can be proud of this one.

#tomorrow x together #mama 2022 #txt mama #yeonjun #soobin #yeonbin #kpop mama #mnet asian music awards #txt lgbt #kpop lgbt #lyrics analysis #dance analysis

[theworldinclines]

establishing a guns and water motif for palm and nueng's story

ok buckle up gjsjfksks this is going to be long and probably incomprehensible but that's usual if you know me. so. let's break it down.

nueng is shown at the shooting range unable to hit the center target. it's unclear how long he's been coming here, but he's frustrated with his progress (or lack thereof) in aim. he says that he's likely to get shot to death before his aim ever improves.

cutting forward to the scene by the pool, nueng is interrupted in messaging (flirting) ben when he hears someone downstairs; thinking it's a thief or hit man, nueng gets the gun from his dresser to investigate, taking the gun off safety well before he's even left his room. he's on edge, gun extended, and palm tries to approach as cautiously as possible, still taking nueng by surprise when he turns around.

palm knocks the gun out of nueng's hands with enough force that they all fall into the pool, and in classic bl fashion they stare at each other in the water like they're trying to not think about [redacted] because (say it with me!) WATER AS QUEER METAPHOR! but there's this first:

where palm frankly looks like he's been caught in like an lgbt club and is seconds away from being outed???? but nueng's reaction is this:

like he's just found someone like him, recognising himself in palm's panic. you not straight??? me not straight!!!

but then nueng remembers he's mad and swims off lol palm retrieves the gun from where it had landed on the pool floor and goes to hesitantly sit on the edge next to nueng, setting the gun between them.

neung demands to know if palm is trying to kill him, which is interesting because HE'S the one who pointed a gun to palm's chest. palm explains that when he saw nueng with the gun, he worried that it would go off and hurt nueng. again, palm worried nueng would hurt HIMSELF, not palm, the person the gun was aimed at.

keeping in mind water as a heavily queer trope, 1) they're both soaking wet; and 2) palm must also explain that he was swimming without permission, because he thought no one was awake to find out and he begs nueng not to tell his father. often in these shows they'll kiss underwater (or in kinnporsche's case [redacted x10]) as symbolism for the water as a blanket of safety just for them to be the selves the world likes to misunderstand and often hate. it's why so many shows feature an underwater kiss and/or deep conversations in or near water, like a beach - or! a pool!

so i posit that palm's behaviour here is queer metaphor - he can be himself when he thinks no one is paying attention, please don't tell my dad, ill do anything if you keep this a secret... nueng first says that sneaking around this way would have anyone believe palm is a thief, and then says that just because palm begs him to not expose his secret doesn't change the fact of its existence, his "guilt." replace thief with Something Else and you get it.

thing is, like i said - they're both soaked, not just palm. but neither of the two recognise that, in the end, they both ended up in the pool/soaked, whatever the circumstances may have been.

now. a bit of blackmail later where nueng reserves a favour from palm, palm says "may i?" before he picks up the gun that he'd put between them. he removes the ammo and gives the impression that he's experienced with a gun, nueng's surprise marking his memory of his own apparent ineptitude at the range and earlier on. palm holds out the gun and says for nueng's personal safety that nueng should put the ammo in only when he needs it, but not otherwise. and then nueng reaches for the gun and, for no Reasonable Reason, covers it as well as palm's hand with his own.

there is yet another Indescribably Intense Eye Contact, a parallel to palm's panic in the water and nueng staring right at him, a moment of clear understanding. here, palm's eyes go from their joined hands back to nueng's face and so on, while nueng just looks at him unwaveringly. they are seeing each other, and for palm it's terrifying because it means someone knows he is queer; and for nueng it's nothing short of miraculous, because who's ever actually seen him before, not his last name or money?

it's a moment which i found to be even more intense than the rest, and i figured out why after and it's why im writing this. the dick joke in kinnporsche is done here, but instead of a dick joke it's an insane symbolism:

nueng has terrible aim, as they've established,

and the gun is an extension of himself.

he's inexperienced, unsure, and furious that he isn't better at the things he needs to excel in. summarily: he's made out by his parents to be a weapon that he never wanted to be.

and palm takes that weapon, empties it with no problem or fear of what makes it dangerous, and just tells nueng to be careful, only do what's necessary and never at the risk of himself.

i call it...

the loaded heart metaphor.

it's the intensity of the love they will eventually have, but particularly nueng's, whose OST centers on living only for palm, but who - as we see in the trailer and i feel sure of - will push palm away for palm's safety, because to be around nueng is to be in danger.

it all comes back around to the weight nueng bears to live up to the life his parents have established for him and the boys helping each other to grow past the boundaries they've had to live by,

it's about being a weapon, and feeling helpless to be anything else; even when someone looks at you and sees safety, despite it all, and you know he should be running. instead he's handing you the gun and ammo, trusting you to use it well. and if you don't know how, he'll be there to help adjust your aim.

#LIKE ????????? #i worked myself into a proper Breakdown about this ok. ok #like the sheer amount of times they're by water in this show and the inherent danger palm endures just existing near nueng #but he will endure it and not only endure but smile bc he gets to be with the boy he loves thru it all like ???????? IM SICK #not even to mention the idea of the gun being PALM'S heart that he is handing over to nueng to keep for whenever he wants it like #anyway this is exactly the sort of unhinged shit i hoped this show would cause in me so u know what slay! #my writing #never let me go #nlmg spoilers #palmnueng #never let me go bl #never let me go series

[arianrhodsprophet]

my reading list!

a list of physical books i have bought for my craft but haven't gotten around to reading/finishing yet! also, if there's anything here that's Problematic and i'm unaware of, please let me know! i'm newer to the craft so my knowledge base isn't as deep as it could be.

Queering Your Craft: Witchcraft From The Margins - Cassandra Snow - possibly the one i'm looking forward to reading the most! queer magick baby!!

The Cyber Spellbook: Magick in the Virtual World - Sirona Knight & Patricia Telesco - so this is from 2002 so obviously it's Aged, but i have no doubt it has some interesting wisdom to be found from it, seeing as it's from the age of the Early Internet!

Llewellyn's 2022 Witches' Companion: A Guide To Contemporary Living - while this is a big like, almanac-type book, i bought it solely for two words on the back: ritualized cannabis.

Herbal Magic, House Magic, & Moon Magic - Aurora Kane - i got all 3 of these for like $5 at 5 below which is INSANE to me, so even if they're potentially not that great i'll probably get my money's worth anyway, ehe.

Queer Magic: LGBT+ Spirituality And Culture From Around The World - Tomás Prower - obviously as a white queer pagan i cannot reclaim everything this book goes into, but knowing things is neat!

Wicca: A Guide For The Solitary Practitioner - Scott Cunningham - i'm not wiccan myself BUT i've had this book recommended to me by multiple people as a good like, Base for practicing witchcraft

The Witch's Book of Self-Care - Arin Murphy-Hiscock - now this one i've actually started, just haven't finished. very cute, a little twee but some really good self-care tips in there!!

Tarot - Tina Gong - i also got this one from 5 below for like $5. i don't know how much will be in here that i'm not already aware of, but it was a steal so like, why not give it a read, yeah?

Iconic Tarot Decks: The History, Symbolism, and Design of Over 50 Decks - Sarah Bartlett - this one seems super neat, and even if i don't learn anything necessarily new from it (though i suspect i will) i can look at the pretty pics, haha.

and below are a few ebooks i have that i also haven't gotten around to yet, but would like to soon!

FYMA: A Lesser Key to the Appropriation of Jewish Magic & Mysticism - Ezra Rose - this one i'm linking to bc it seems like a FANTASTIC resource. it's only 22 pages, but i just haven't gotten around to it yet, but i really want to!

An Anarchist Free Herbal - herbalistatlarge @ itch.io - another one i haven't gotten around to but looks REALLY good!!

and, finally, a book i don't yet own (either physically or digitally) but would like to!

Cybernomicon - Joshua Free - i saw this one at half-priced books and took a pic but sadly did not buy it, and have not been able to find it anywhere for a decent price since! looks REALLY interesting, the idea of cyber necromancy almost sounds like archiving to me, which i adore the idea of, but i'd obvs have to read the book to find out more...

well, that's it for now! thanks so much for reading this far, if you have, and may your incense keep alight!

#witchblr #paganblr #witchcraft #queer witch #queer magic

[dojae-huh]

i think that anon speculating about ty being possibly queer may be on to something, if you really look into the non-nct members he’s following on ig and who he chooses to hang out with outside of nct most of them are queer or work with other queer artists, i always think it’s important to pay attention to their activities outside of nct content, as a queer person myself there are subtle ways that queer people identify themselves in super conservative countries such as south korea, there’s certain cues or certain symbols used especially on social media where we can identify each other but still remain closeted. he’s been seen wearing items from burberry’s pride collection (sweater, sweatpants) that donates to lgbt/queer organizations, working with omegasapien, who openly advocates for the lgbt community and is a queer artist himself, working with suran, an artist that has a MV/MVs with lgbt representation and also follows and is friends with queer-affiliated people, and although they are related, him posing in a photo and hanging out with hong suk chun, one of the only openly gay celebrities in korea, the pride lego collection, posing in a gay bar founded by a trans woman and saying it was favorite set/place, posting picture the picture he took with luca guadagino, an openly gay film director, etc. there’s many other examples that i can’t really fit in here but if he isn’t queer then he definitely is supportive and an ally

The sign language is not universal, so are hidden languages of hints. An example of an attribution error is when Koreans use rainbow emoji to mean friendship and teamwork, but westerners decide their posts are about LGBT.

There was a whole thread on TW with SVT, Ateez, BTS and other idols wearing clothes/sneakers from LGBT supporting collections, waving all types of LGBT flags, even dying hair in athe colours of all sexualities (bi, demi, ace, etc) - are all of those idols queer and are suddenly so brave as to come out en masse?

What unites all mentioned by you people is that they are creators, outside-of-the-box thinkers. Why is the shared factor by default is "orientation" and not "creativity/self-expression"? Doyoung doesn't care to follow LGBT creators and is happy to be a boring typical Korean man. Taeyong doesn't have a typical mentality, however, SK society is very conservative and pushes you to "be normal". Even many neos prefer Tae in the role of a serious collected leader. Meanwhile, the LGBT community is welcoming of "noncomformers", they understand what it means to be ostracized by the rest and deal with the acceptance of oneself, choosing "me" over "society and its conformist norms".

Russia is a very homophobic country and yet the anime sub-culture is known for a lot of LGBT members being open about their orientation (while a very small percent comes out to their parents). People who like anime are "weird" themselves, meaning, the community is open-minded and welcoming. LGBT find other queer people (often find partners) and allies in it.

Anyway, Tae's circle of friends might be a sign of him being queer, however, you can not know for sure. It is "huh?" and "sus?", it's not "oh, yeah! 100% proof!". That be stereotyping (only queer befriend queer, if you like art and fashion, you're queer).

Only bodily reactions (arousal, hightened interest for certain topics, clear sign of being in love with same sex), behaviours and body language (certain deliberate mannerism) can let you know for sure.

#ask me away #taeyong is the boss

[yumeika]

The Sacred Sins of Father Black + Character Names

This book has been bouncing around my head for the past week or so and made me go out in the pouring rain to get my grubby little heathen hands on a copy of the Bible from the nearest bookstore to further understand Christian theology. Therefore, I’d like to get some of my thoughts out here. I’ll start with names here and talk about the chapters and themes in a different post once I’ve gathered more information since this post is already quite long. 

Quentin Day

Quentin of Amiens is a saint who was martyred in modern day Saint-Quentin, Aisne in France during the Diocletianic Persecution. He is the patron saint of prisoners and locksmiths - a fun little thing to keep in mind while you’re reading the prison breakout scene with Hamish in Chapter 19. 

I wasn’t able to find too much information on him, but it seems he’s quite popular in France, with many cities named after him. 

The surname “Day” has many possible roots, one of which is a derivative of the name “David.” I found this interesting - considering how his partner Hamish is portrayed and how a small but methodical act on Quentin’s part leads to the destruction of Hamish’s career and a catalyst for his death, this would make Quentin the David to Hamish’s Goliath. 

Another more obvious reason his name is Day is his role as the Sun at the end of the book. The character design of white hair + honey skin + dark eyes make me think of Yang, in contrast to Father Black’s light eyes + dark hair symbolising Yin. 

Hamish

There are two ways to pronounce this name: Hay-mish and Ha-meesh. The former is the Scottish form of “James,” a name meaning “supplanter.” The latter is a Yiddish/Arab name. I figured Hay-mish was the correct pronunciation for the following reasons:

The character himself doubles as both an antagonist and a symbol for a corrupt, self-serving government taking advantage of its citizens. Considering this story takes place in the US, a way to characterise this would be in the form of a white man who abuses his power. A white man of Scottish descent playing the role Hamish does in the story would be more fitting than having a white man of Jewish/Arab descent in that role.

“For a brief moment... like it was Hamish’s body they were carrying” to the well for a sacrifice. (Ch. 17, page 122). In the end, Hamish does end up becoming the sacrifice, “supplanting” the dummy and the other forms of sacrifice for the well.  

Just a hunch, but I don’t think Hamish likes Jews and Arabs and would go by something else if he had a Jewish/Arab sounding name lmfao

Sebastian Black

Sebastian is another saint that was martyred during the Diocletianic Persecution. There’s a lot to cover with him and I’m not sure where to start.

First, I invite you to look at paintings of Saint Sebastian on your search engine. Do you notice something? That’s right - a lot of them are drawn in an erotic manner for some reason or another. In fact, they are so horny that one of those paintings was the sexual awakening of Kochan, the protagonist of the book Confessions of a Mask.  Confessions of a Mask is an autobiographical account of the author Mishima Yukio’s life, and Mishima himself went on to pay homage to the painting during the later years of his life. Some articles even credit Saint Sebastian as the patron saint of homosexuals. 

Saint Sebastian’s influence on the LGBT+ community is wonderfully summarised here, and you can find various depictions of him drawn by more modern homosexual artists such as David Wojnarowicz and John Keith Vaughan. 

All that to say: it’s a good name for a sexy gay priest. 

Tying in with his association with the LGBT+ community, he is a patron of the plague-stricken - the litany and short film Sancte Sebastian ora pro nobis calls upon Saint Sebastian for protection against pestilence, specifically naming AIDS. I’ve seen a couple of articles saying the gay community in the 1980s also prayed to Saint Sebastian for their sick brothers, but I couldn’t find any primary sources.

While the community of Hopewell doesn’t have a plague, it does have the issue of being a town with little income. In Father Black’s words, “This town is dying.” (Ch 14, page 110), and he considers it his duty to carry on with the wine forgery despite the risks to help his people. 

Going back to Sancte Sebastian ora pro nobis, there is a part that states:

Use your unstoppable energy not to punish but only to humble those who dedicate themselves to oppression and evil.

And we know what happened to Hamish in the end.  ┐(￣∀￣)┌

There are a couple of other parallels I could draw, such as the two martyrdoms of Saint Sebastian and Quentin’s exposure to the forgery papers two times, but I feel like they’d be a bit of a stretch. 

Also, Saint Sebastian is the patron saint of athletes, and Father Black is mentioned to be quite athletic. You know that man is ripped from carrying around all those chairs for Sunday school. 

The surname “Black” could be complimentary to Quentin’s “Day” and Father Black’s role as the Moon to Quentin’s Sun. It is also a colour primarily associated with sin.

Lindsay Woodmancy

This is probably another stretch, but Lindsay’s name is associated with linden trees, a symbol of Freyja and Aphrodite - both goddesses of love and fertility. Like how the name of the bar being “Bacchus” is a nod to the town’s wine and cultural practices, Lindsay’s name is another reference to the non-Christian practices we see in Hopewell. 

But this is also a name you can get from pulling up a name generator, so take this one with a grain of salt. 

#The Sacred Sins of Father Black #what's the tag for this book #Father Black #I think???? #chewing and gnawing on this book like a dog with a bone

[soulgreys]

Drag kings

#Drag kings series#

"When I first started, there was still a lot of people who didn't know what a drag king was or had never seemed to have heard the term before," said British performer Sammy Silver. While drag kings arguably have just as long a past, they have not enjoyed the same level of recognition or popularity - although that now appears to be changing. Male actors cross-dressing on stage have a well-known history going back to William Shakespeare's era and gay men performing in hyper-feminine drag have long been a part of the LGBT+ community. "I think he's really exploring his maleness and what it means to be a man in the 21st century." He's not massively confident, oddly enough, although he does love the stage. "Adam is more flamboyant, he's more cartoony, more fun-loving, dancey. "Once I've got the suit on and the shape looks right and the face looks male, I don't have to change my character very much at all to present completely and believably as male," Powell told the Thomson Reuters Foundation. Powell is among a growing number of drag kings - mostly female or transgender performers playing exaggerated male characters – in a previously niche LGBT+ performance scene that is booming in popularity across much of the Western world.

#Drag kings series#

But they have also performed on TV in the Starz show Vida, the Amazon series Transparent, and American Horror Story: 1984.Carefully painting in sharp cheekbones and heavy eyebrows before applying a moustache and a final sprinkling of glitter, Jen Powell slowly transforms into male alter-ego Adam All ahead of a performance at a London club. Vico has performed as Suave in clubs through LA. When I am performing Suave, it is me in the most raw way.” When Ortiz created Suave, they cited men like Ricky Martin as inspiration.įor Ortiz, performing Suave brings a feeling of completeness: “I found within my performance the intersection of all of me: my culture, my music, my dancing. In many ways, Suave is a tribute to Hispanic/Caribbean culture. He wears loose-fitting floral shirts that are open to the waist, tight pants, and gold jewelry. On his upper lip, he sports a delicately pencilled-in mustache. He sports a foppish haircut with short sides and long black curls that drape over his forehead. And he doesn’t take himself too seriously: goofy is the new sexy.” His hips don’t lie and will make love to you silly all night. Vico Ortiz describes their drag king persona best: “Passionate! Dramatic! Romantic! He’s the sensitive Latino lover you dream about. In 2021, you’ll be able to watch Murray Hill on several TV series: Amy Schumer’s Life & Beth on Hulu, Bridget Everett’s Somebody Somewhere on HBO, and Paul Feig’s This Country on Fox. Murray Hill takes his role as a trailblazer for the community seriously, and encourages those who have come after him, “If you don’t see yourself represented then go out and represent yourself.” Instead he says, “I’m Murray, just Murray.” In so doing, he has become a symbol of nonbinary and genderqueer performance that transcends drag. No, Murray rejects all pronouns and identifiers that would put him in a box. But here’s the rub: Although he is a leader in the drag king community, Murray Hill does not consider himself a drag king. With slicked-back hair, windowpane suits, horn-rimmed glasses, and polyester ties, his persona recalls not the drag kings of the present but male impersonators of the past, such as Stormé de Larverie. He’s a fast talking, magnetic ad-libber with such control over his audience that he can take them from silent to rolling in the aisles and back in seconds. The legendary Murray Hill looks and behaves like a mid-century old-school comedian in the vein of Don Rickles, Shecky Greene, and Shelley Berman, who frequented resorts in the Catskills. In addition to performing internationally, Adam All hosts the drag king cabaret BOi BOX and co-hosts the drag king competition MAN UP. Jen Powell, who created Adam All 12 years ago, tells them., “He’s a gentle man who can charm and alarm with equal appeal, bringing live vocals and cartoon realness to his dashing geek-chic cabaret.” He moves with gusto from one punchline to the next, enchanting his audience and giving them an experience that is at once lighthearted and profound. Adam’s performance is a watertight, high-energy act. Known as the modern “Godfather” of the UK drag king scene, Adam All is arguably the most influential drag king presence east of the Atlantic, both as a performer and an advocate. I hope to encourage others to do the same and find freedom in expressing who they truly are.” - Jen Powell, creator of Adam Hall As an androgynous individual and as someone who considers themself to be gender-neutral, Adam allows me to embrace my masculinity and through him. “He has allowed me to embrace aspects of my personality that, since my childhood, I had felt forced to ignore.

#Drag kings

[lucaaaaamakesart-lvl6]

MP: Branding & Visual Systems

Week 10 23/4/24

I need to create a visual identity for my app. Not just to create a logo, but to create a visual language than can compliment the existing language in the Pantone cards, and add its own style and identity. I felt using the square box within the Pantone card, would be a good space to explore a new identity. Still with a focus of colour, keeping it Pantone.

Espoo Theatre

I like the use of the same symbol each time, with a change in pattern and colour, to create different emotions and visuals. I like the consistency and variety contrast. I feel this is a useful mechanism I could use to create consistency and variety between my cards. Colour would also be appropriate to use as the thing that separate card types, as this is a change in every existing Pantone card, each is a different colour.

DONE

Consistency in form and shape, and consistency in background. Consistency in pattern style, using 1 colour in each with a variety of light and dark tones, each one showing fluidity and motion. The packaging feels so consistent to a brand, but each one has an individual identity.

Experiments

I found these visual experiments really interesting how they explore gradients and shape. Each variation feels part of the same project but very individual too. I like their use of vibrant shades as well, a look that I feel Gen Z would be attracted too.

Each variant of the pattern or shape holds a different emotion and mood. I don't know if creating variants in my card identity's through mood would be appropriate but I still find it really interesting.

RSFL Ungdom

This is an identity created for LGBT youth federation. They created their rebrand that doesn't state but I assume is inspired by a rainbow shape, that varies based on the group of people they are representing and their pride flag. I think the logo and identity is so cool how it can change so drastically and support and represent a group of people, while remaining consistency in shape and form.

Now You See Me

The consistency is here is that each square has a cut out whole, of an abstract shape. They have a different colour in the cross section than the surface.

The difference with each one that separate them is the colour combinations, and the shape that is cut out. I think this is a really exciting way they have used in in public intervention that can also apply to branding in general.

Oficina + Parque

Here they have used a consistent restrictive grid, as a base to draw from. By using a small muted colour palette and using the same size grid each time. They have changed the design each time by the shape and image they are drawing.

Yandex Academy

same shape & composition each time, and framing within the circle. same scale. different colours to differentiate.

#maj

[alittletrolling]

thank you to whoever submitted this to me. now all of china knows-

You can always logout of tumblr and simply follow the link. Here I copy pasted the points

Now, I understand you’ll need further reasons to look into the show that was created by Monty Oum, Miles Luna, and Kerry Shawcross.

SO! Here is 100+ Reasons to give RWBY a shot, plus a resource list link at the end. ENJOY!

1) Sci-fi/fantasy show that balances the two aspects very well

2) Endearing characters

3) Deep underlying messages about the importance of human connection

4) Constantly improves on itself

5) Writers actually try to listen to what the fandom wants

6) Creative setting

7) Actually handles difficult topics, like communication, privilege, and the cycle of abuse in a way that is sensitive to the audience

8) Ending is already set, meaning the show is not at risk of selling out to corporate overlords

9) God-tier foreshadowing

10) Top notch fight choreography

11) EVERYTHING IS A GUN

12) RWBY unambiguously avoids Depraved Homosexual tropes - no evil LGBT characters

13) No surprise plot twists for the sake of shock value

14) The soundtrack

Not only does it slap, bits of lore and characterization can be found in the series music

15) Character design

16) Symbolism and metaphors and hidden meanings abound

Can make for an enriching experience if you have knowledge about color theory and fairy tales and historical/mythological figures

17) Nuanced portrayal of morality between heroes, villains, and those who are neither

18) Layered writing where not everything, especially conflict, is clear-cut and easily resolved

19) Portrays trauma without over-dramatization

20) Production values improve with each volume

21) Hopepunk

22) Female-Centric main cast

All the “Fix-it” fanfics and “Rewrites” involve Male-Centric Casts and/or taking time away from female main casts to focus on male characters, especially male side characters.

23) No surprise plot twists for the sake of shock value meets Thanos snap.

24) Good bits of humor sprinkled throughout without being overbearing

25) A few villians that while irredeemable, are interesting to watch in how they act.

26) Masterpiece of a comedy spinoff

27) You can legally watch the show for free

28) Subverts narrative tropes common to both “western” hero stories and anime

29) Gender dynamics and expectations are well-balanced

Gender  tropes subverted, and addressed directly at times

30) Comfortably addresses class warfare, alcoholism, and other “mature” topics in approachable ways

31) Corgi

32) Combat Skirt

33) Women get to have pockets and pouches…

34) Women not requiring a man to save them

35) Large number of POC portrayed positively

36) LGBT are neither creeps nor villains, instead the straight people are.

37) POC are neither creeps nor villains as a majority…instead the white people are.

38) The “White Male Savior” with the mask, trenchcoat, and katana is the villain, while the underdog protector of the lower-income is a POC woman who may or may not be lesbian.

39) Meaningful facial expressions (that is, the animators spend time creating mood and reaction to elevate the storytelling)

40) Main antagonist is a woman, as are several of the other antagonists and they are NOT ditzes or idiots, nor are they fanservice.

41) The women are as intelligent as the men, where most anime try to have men be superior than women for the sake of shounen, the women are equal to men in screentime, plot relevance, intelligence, strength, personality, etc….though RWBY tries to have the women take precedence.

42) Men are support characters with their powers, while Women have more protagonist superpowers.

43) Positive half-sibling and stepmother representation

44) Positive honorary family member representation

45) Gay shipping and Lesbian shipping is encouraged by the writers and voice actors/actresses

46) The Main female protagonist’s blood-based superpower is not broken or OP and has limits.

47) Well-executed humor (usually, ha).

Basically trying NOT to make it fanservice or toilet humor or cringe.

48) Creators at least try to fix its less than stellar/problematic parts, which is more that I can say than the majority of entertainment.

49) Female characters are complex and interesting, also for the most part don’t woobified female villains.

50) Terrifying Villains and Monsters

There is a difference. V1-V3 involved Monsters , V4-V8 involved Villains.

51) Every Character is based on a fairy tale/myth/legend/story and looking for those breadcrumbs just adds to the show

52) Already said, but emphasizing the fight choreography and the soundtrack. If you love over-the-top video game style fights this is for you. If you love epic metal playing over those fights this is for you.

53) Plays with tropes and story telling norms to subvert expectations in the best way

54) Not afraid to have tonal shifts to tell the story they want to tell

55) Not afraid to have the heroes lose sometimes

56) And plot points have consequences!!! None of this “bad thing happens and 1 episode later the status quo is restored”

57) Emphasizing foreshadowing again. Things that happened in season 8 were foreshadowed as far back as season 2.

58) The main characters are proactive. None of this waiting around for them to get up the courage to do something about the bad guys.

Don’t give me the “manor tea” stuff, they were trying to recover, Ironwood had it out for them and would have shot them for helping while refusing to obey him.

59) The Main characters are smart. They notice things (and come up with really cool strategies)

60) At least one villain does NOT underestimate the main characters

61) Everyone doesn’t let characters use false justification for their actions regardless who it is! Everyone gets a consequence that fits!

62) Soundtrack is LIT

63) Gay Gay Homosexual Gay

64) Because I’m still on this, two autistic-coded main characters whose traits aid in their heroism!

Ruby and Penny…possibly Marrow Amin

65) Kdin Jenzen, a Transgender VA, plays May Marigold, a transgender heroic side character who does not get killed off.

66) Chaotic teens saving the world with the power of stubborn optimism

67) Opposites Attract Tropes

68) Goth Uncle

69) Goth Milf

70) Himbo Dad

71) Non-sexualized Catgirl

72) Cat Cougar Milf with Tea Tray defeats Bat Assassin

73) Panther Dilf

74) Blonde Brawler Female who is also smart and can work mechanics

75) Female protag uses scythe and cape/cloak

76) It Portrays several different types of abuse ranging from romantic relationships to familial abuse along with accurately portraying them

77) Shows how harmful Alcoholism is

78) When/If a a character dies, it’s for a reason and isn’t for shock value

Penny cheated death once…she would not cheat death again.

Ozpin’s immortality is a curse, and he is truly dead, a ghost.

79) One of the the main-main characters is disabled and isn’t treated as/seen as lesser

80) Male/Female friendships are a thing and abundant

Normally if a man and a woman engage, its shipping, not friendships. But with Naruto and Sakura we have friendship. With Ichigo and Rukia its friendship….now that is abundant friendship in RWBY.

81) LGBT Voice Actresses Voice LGBT Characters.

Kdin Jenzen is Transgender, Arryn Zech is Bisexual, and so are their characters.

82) All Romantic relationships, heterosexual or not, are given attention and emphasis on their interpersonal relationships

83) Balances tragedy and comedy, there are SEVERAL episodes where you both end up laughing your ass off and crying

84) Never goes all out depressing, the message is clear, it takes it to heart, and it shouts it for all to hear. Sometimes bad things happen. But you have to keep moving forward.

85) Has a variety of characters, each with their own themes/allusions (e.g. Ruby = Red Riding Hood, Team RWBY = Fairy Tale Characters, Team JNPR = Crossdressing Historic Heroes)

86) Amazing Music that builds on the characters’ motives

87) You won’t suffer vision problems after watching an entire cast that’s blindingly white (shounen anime in general)

88) Gay doesn’t suddenly die to leave heartbroken love interest Straight and angstily going back to the white guy who killed Gay out of possessive jealousy, which is super romantic.

89) Partners of dead Gays, should a Gay die, will not obligatorily be paired with someone str8  

90) Character designs reference various fairy tales and stories, so you can get things like Mulan and Thor being a childhood friends romance, Beast and Beauty being one and the same and in love with Goldilocks, and Red Riding Hood maiming Cinderella, who is evil.

91) Everyone; good, bad, and the minor characters…are all hot.

92) You WILL get attached both to the good and bad characters.

93) All characters have very unique designs that fit their personalities and fighting styles.

94) Emotional/Physical Abusers get killed AFTER being humiliated

95) The Entire Show is full of metaphors and symbolism. The backgrounds, character clothing, the weapons they use… it’s fun to analyze!

96) Stresses the importance of just being a nice person above all other stereotypical morally gray anime tropes

97) The people who work the the show. Seriously not just the main people; I’m talking about all the unsung heroes who do amazing background and scenery to sound design, etc. RWBY has some of the nicest, most hard working, and supportive crews I’ve seen. And considering the amount of harassment the anti-fandom can throw at them, they take and handle it so remarkably well.

98) Every character looks amazing from main to one-off. How their outfits convey who they are so well and sometimes subtlety. Also how the creators and character designers make it so cosplayers can have pockets on their outfits.

99) No  stupid twists for shock value, the twists that do happen are foreseeable but executed in a way that is still shocking.

100) Enjoyable Comedic Spin-off far better written than Teen Titans Go.

101) Awesome weapon concepts

102) Awesome growth of story, plot, and transition of it.

103) People hate it when you have fun watching RWBY….is that not enough?

Need to come up with a list of good youtube channels next.

[theoncomingchaos]

An Essay about Authentic Queer Narrative & Why SCOY deserves more credit

Looking through the tags, it’s obvious that a lot of people watch the first episode of SCOY, get a little freaked out and drop it or fast forward through parts because of “cringe”. However, I’d like to give some explanation as to why it is the way is and hopefully bring some appreciation to honestly one of the most authentically queer BL I’ve seen.

This essay addresses: (In this essay I will...ugh what am I doing with my life?) 

-Historical LGBT+ representation (BLs and Western media)

-The goal of SCOY and how each character represents important issues in the queer community. 

First, it’s important to understand that the goal of this series is different than most bl. Most bl are aimed at fujoshi- they are written by straight women for straight women. This means that even though the main characters are two men, they are often living in heteronormative stories that follow straight expectations of love and romance. You can see the differences when comparing to series that were made by queer writers and beloved by queer audiences. Some classic examples that really started things off would be Queer as Folk and the movie But I’m a Cheerleader. 

Saint, the founder and owner of Idol Factory, has said that his goal is to give voice to the LGBT+ community- even if that means not following the trends of what is popular among bls. Thus, SCOY and GAP. This would suggest that his primary audience isn’t necessary the fujoshi who are sometimes out to self insert into romances or watch for the sex scenes, it’s to help LGBT+ people see themselves and their issues on screen in a more authentic way, and honestly I believe he’s achieved that really well so far with Scoy. Even though the genre is very different, it actually like watching Queer as Folk. It’s nostalgic. While this may be difficult to believe- the parts people find “cringe” are a part of why this show comes off so authentic.

Time for a quick history lesson! Depending on the country, LGBT+ stories have a long history of being forced to exist only as subtext. The primary reason being that were anti-sodomy laws all over the world, so authors could get in serious trouble for writing them. However, queer authors of course wanted to tell their stories anyway, so they found ways to do it through symbolism and queer coding. This same strategy was used in Hollywood during the Hays Code where LGBT+ stories were very subtly inserted through masculine women and feminine men. This solidified stereotypes for a wide general audience, but these characters were also beloved by the queer audience because they could read the subtext and see their stories played out. When you don’t have options, crumbs start to look pretty tasty. 

Eventually, more freedom was given and now we can see queer stories being played out in many countries in many different ways which is amazing, but when you look at series that are made by queer people for queer people, they still involve an element of campiness. Even in modern shows like “Our Flag Means Death.” 

The reason is because that element is genuinely a part of the queer community, culture, and history. This is why bl aimed at fujoshi and written by straight people can never quite get it right because the life experience is just inherently different. When I watch SCOY, their little friend group reminds me of being a first year in college with my own little queer found family stuck together in in the conservative countryside. Yeah, we were loud and energetic, maybe a little crazy, but when I see Toh and his group acting like that, I’m reminded that despite how hopeless they feel about love and all the personal issues they are going through, they haven’t let adversity win, just like we didn’t. 

Toh, Jao, and Daisy each show an important issue within the queer community that is often ignored by fantasy based bls and therefore gives real, authentic, representation to groups that need their voices heard. 

To begin, let’s start with our chaotic disaster of a hero. Many people have a big problem with Toh’s tendency to pick up Nuea’s trash. Yes, it’s gross, but it’s meant to emphasize how feminine men are often treated and looked at. Even in Western media, they are the funny/quirky sidekick or they are the token gay in straight shows because they are “safe” for straight audiences due to the fact that they are de-sexualized. They are never taken seriously or given genuine feelings. We could all imagine Toh in another series doing this as a running gag. Get a laugh, then move on to the real characters. The beauty of SCOY in Toh’s story is that it has allowed him to be who he is AND sexual.

In Scoy, Toh does this collecting because he genuinely believes that someone like Nuea could never love him, so he does what many tumblr users do- he feeds his hyperfixation by collecting pictures, merch, and information about the man he is interested in. He’s happy enough to fan over him from afar. He’s not hurting Nuea or anyone else, he’s enjoying love the only way he thinks he can. Once Nuea is interested and eventually with him, he continues these habits because he believes it won’t last, and he wants something to hold onto after it’s over. Scoy uses traditional campiness and humor to make real issues more palatable. When you understand what is happening, the fact that Toh does these things should be more tragic than “cringy”. 

Jao’s story shows the issues in the community with body image and I can’t help but remember the storylines in Queer as Folk where the boys went to the gym all the time because they felt pressured to be muscular in order to find sexual and romantic partners. For Jao, different cultures bring different expectations and the expectation placed on him is to be thin. While it isn’t said directly, Jao may very well be leaning towards developing an eating disorder. He is often giving away food and refusing to eat. Although he often plays it off as being cheeky or sweet, Sky clearly has noticed this problem, and thus is always offering him food, checking up on him, and making him healthy meals or taking him out to eat. 

Often, we only hear about how the media puts pressure on women to look a certain way, but this is a big problem in the queer community as well, and it’s great to see more light being shed on it in comparison to the fantasy bls that actually contribute to these problems by only showcasing Adnois types and K-pop idol level beauties. 

Now, I have to admit, I haven’t read the novel, but it sounds like Daisy is either third gender or trans, and so far from her story we have seen how surprised and happy she is that Touch is actually trying to court her which shows us that despite her beauty this isn’t normal for her. Trans culture in Thailand seems very different from the Western world, but based on Daisy’s reaction, I can imagine there are some similarities like the challenges and uncertainties involved in finding a romantic partner that will love you for who you are and accept all of you. 

In Western culture, many people outside of the LGBT+ community don’t know much about trans people or culture, and so they base what little they know off of media representation, and unfortunately up until recently almost all trans representation was trans murderers, trans murder victims, prostitutes, and scenes of trans people showing their body to their lovers only to have their lovers puke… Thankfully, that is starting to change, but progress is slow. This is all the more reason that it’s important to have characters like Daisy that are humanized. Her story will help others be more empathetic and understanding of real world issues, but also give hope to trans and nonbinary people who struggle with love. 

While the beginning of this series can be difficult for some people to enjoy- particularly if their experience is primarily with the fantasy styled bls developed around heteronormative experiences and culture, I really hope people will give it a proper chance because it is such an authentic and loving narrative that clearly wants to give real representation to issues in the community that need a voice. Just relax and enjoy the comedy, yes it’s absurd, yes it’s camp, but keep in mind it’s meant to be a fun and easy vehicle to get at the heart of the issue. 

#SCOY #secret crush on you #secret crush on you the series #thai bl #scoy the series #skyjao #nueatoh #tohnuea #touchdaisy #I fucking love this show and after going through the tags one too many times I just felt I needed to say something #Maybe I'm just too old lol I imagine everyone who thinks this is cringy would die watching older queer shows #I love how this show starts with the characters as stereotypes and then builds them into these amazingly lovable people #I can't wait for the rest of this show

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My lgbt+ kids,

You will find your place.

I could write down a more detailed scenario for your future now, I could try to tell you exactly how that place looks like - but I don’t know how it will look like.

I don’t know if your happy place involves a loving partner or a group of friends who always have your back or a dog who gets super excited when you come home or a baby who falls asleep on your chest. I don’t know if an art piece that you got for yourself just because you liked it would symbolize that you found your happy place or if it’s the small but cozy apartment that makes you feel so safe. I don’t know if there’s this one moment where you stand in the dressing room in some clothings store, look in the mirror and realize that you not only feel happy in these clothes but also finally feel at home in your body or if you will one day look out of the window while listening to a favorite song and think about that wonderful book you just finished and just suddenly notice that you feel so happy to be alive.

I don’t know any of that. Maybe your happiness looks just like that or it looks totally different - but I know it will come. You will have people around you who make you feel good. You will have your happy places where you feel at home. You will have these blissful moments where you realize that everything is good right now.

We don’t need to know how they will look like for now. Just know that they will come.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[atpaftmoom-bily]

Thoughts about Erik, why Wilhelm wasn't allowed to come out, and more.

Be warned, this is long, confusing, and I'm not even sure if I made any valid points. But I had thoughts on Young Royals, with no one to talk to, so here you go.

I've seen various different takes on Erik and what people thought his reaction would have been if Willie had come out to him, most of them being positive, and some as well saying how sad it was that Willie never got to come out to his brother. I have a different take, but bear with me it's gonna take a second to get there.

Something that I found interesting in the first place was that when August found out it was Simon and not a girl, he just seemed shocked, but not in a homophobic way that I had kind of been expecting.

Additionally, let's take a look at the comments on the video, I've split them up into three different groups. General comments (disbelief, surprise, pity, etc.), comments sexualizing them, and negative comments. (I've translated these as well as I could as they were not all captioned, but if I've made a mistake feel free to let me know!)

General Comments "OMG Have you seen this?? The Prince is gay!!!!" "Who's the other guy?" "I'm dead" "Finally some news to put Sweden on the map!" "Poor boys, I feel sorry for them" "So clumsy to get caught on film" "I know where he lives!" "I think the video is fake" "Love for the boys"

Sexualizing Comments "Royal porn" "Sexy" "Love" "Sexiest video ever"

Negative Comments "How will the monarchy survive this?" "The end of the royal family, time for Sweden to become a republic!" "Never been ashamed about being Swedish until now" "Class traitor! Your mother cries for your sins"

Now, there are quite a few things I want to point out about Sweden that I feel should be taken into account here. Of course, we don't know the exact dates that the show took place, but we do know it is modern-day, and though it is a work of fiction, I am going to assume that anything that is currently true in Sweden at the moment, give or take a few years, would also be true in the Young Royals universe.

The first point I would like to make is that Sweden is one of the most LGBT-friendly countries, even being named the most friendly country in 2019. Looking back in history, 1944 was when Sweden decriminalized sexual relationships between consenting adults of the same sex, though it was still thought to be an illness. However, in 1979 it was no longer considered an illness. Fun unrelated fact, but Sweden was the first country to legalize gender change in 1979. (If you'd like to read more on LGBT rights in Sweden here are some resources. One. Two.) If Sweden is that progressive and is that LGBT-friendly, then I wondered what the problem was with Willie coming out, so I dug some more.

I'm American, so my understanding of many parts of the world is unfortunately skewed or incomplete, but I'm working on changing that. However, because of this, one thing that surprised me in my research was that the monarchy in Sweden is more of a unifying symbol than anything else. They have no political affinity or formal powers, but rather "the King’s duties are mainly of a ceremonial and representative nature." Of course in the case of Young Royals, the Queen inherited the throne, and Wilhelm would after her.

Something else I found interesting about the monarchy in Sweden is that the current Queen, Queen Silvia, did not come from a line of nobility, so when Queen Silvia and King Carl Gustaf married in 1976, it was highly unusual. (See more on the Swedish monarchy here.)

There is one last thing I want to point out about the current King and Queen. "In summer 2000, King Carl XVI Gustaf and Queen Silvia of Sweden made history when they ate under the rainbow flag at Djurgårdsterrassen, a Stockholm restaurant owned by gay owner Arto Winter. At that time, the decision was seen as controversial, and played a valuable role in moving conversations forward – while making the royals’ position abundantly clear." (Source)

Now, of course, I understand the difference between a fictional work and real-life situations, but at least in my opinion, these same ideals should carry through to the show that we see. If the King and Queen in real life have been openly supportive of the LGBT community since at least 2000, then although specifics might not be the same, some of those ideals should carry through to Young Royals, so what is the problem, right?

I'm not trying to erase the reality of homophobia altogether, because of course, that exists. We even see in the show through comments that there are some people who are worried about the state of the monarchy, are disgusted, or downright still think that not being straight is a sin, but we also see other comments as well. If Wilhelm were to come out, what would happen? Would there be some backlash? 100%. Would there be people who would support him? Also 100%. Would it make his life harder? Probably, but would he be happier? In my opinion, yes, but I guess that's a question that Wilhelm would have to gauge on his own.

Now I want to look deeper at the conversation that Wille has with his mother, the Queen, in the car on the way home so he can give a statement to the media. Below is an excerpt from their dialogue.

---

Wilhelm: Why can't I just have a relationship with him? And not say anything. Just live a normal life.

Queen: You're the crown prince. And that's a privilege, not a punishment.

Wilhelm: Yes, but I didn't ask for this!

Queen: Well, nobody has ever, ever asked for this! You are the only one who can take over the throne after Erik. Don't you understand that? You are so young. When you're young, love feels like the most important thing in the whole world. When I was your age, I too had an unfortunate romance. That was before I met your father. What I mean is, is it worth it? If you feel that the attention you've been getting so far is unacceptable, it's nothing compared to what you will endure for the rest of your life. We have a chance to cover this up, I urge you to take that chance. You may not get another."

---

Something I find interesting is how much Willie just wants to live a normal life, which I get. He is under so much pressure, from being a role model, his brother's death that he hasn't even had time to process, preparing to be king someday, and (kind of) being outed to the entire world, but at least his school. It's enough to make anyone want to live normally. I think the biggest thing we have to think about here is the Queen's question as well. Is it worth it? She is right of course, the attention he will get will always be there, but I do think that Willie would be able to find a way to be happy along with being King. It shouldn't have to be a case of either-or, and ultimately I don't think it is.

Now I'm going to move back to Erik, and really, this ties everything back to the start where I mentioned I had a different take on Erik's reaction to Willie being not straight. I think that Erik already knew. It would make sense for a variety of reasons. In the show, it is obvious that the two of them have a good relationship. We also hear Erik tell Willie, "you can trust him, he's like a brother," in episode one when speaking about August, showing that trust is something strong between them as brothers. I'm not exactly sure how old Wilhelm is meant to be in the show, but I estimate somewhere around sixteen. I would like to assume that sometime before attending Hillerska, he may have had a crush or felt some attraction to a guy. We also can see from their phone call in episode three, that they're not afraid to joke around with each other about such things, meaning that Erik would most likely be the first person that Willie would go to about such things.

Another thing that makes me believe Erik already knew has to do with people assuming that Simon is the first guy that Willie has liked. Now, I know things are not the same for everyone, but if we consider what happens when the video is posted, and Willie had to deny it is him, we can conclude that being anything other than straight in their family is not okay, simply because they are royals, and the media attention will be too much. Imagine you've known your whole life, you can't be something, the first instance you encounter that, you're probably not going to give in right away. I'm talking at least some minor internalized homophobia here or something.

So put that into the context of Simon and Willie's first kiss in episode two. Simon kisses Willie twice before Willie says "Well, I'm not... I'm not... Stop! Wait, wait, wait!" and immediately pulls Simon back towards him. Let's reflect back to episode one where Willie says "I’m not… I’m not allowed to speak about political issues." I'm not allowed. Of course, there are TONS of restrictions on what he can and can not do, kissing guys, probably being one of them. But if he was going to say I'm not gay or I'm not like that, why would he instantly pull him back in, contrasting what he was just going to say. In episode three, Willie does say, "I'm not like that," which makes sense. He's had time to think and isn't in the heat of the moment. What other explanation can he give? Sure, he could say he's not allowed to be like that but saying that would admit that he is. It's a circle, a very messy circle, but it is a... loop.

Going back to what I'm supposed to be talking about here, Erik. This isn't Willie's first rodeo, but Erik was there for the first. One last thing I want to talk about is the phone call that Erik and Willie have in episode three. Below is an excerpt from their dialogue.

---

Erik: You've met someone.

Wilhelm: I, uh... Yes, okay, but I... I don't think we're a couple or anything. I don't know what it is but can we just...

Erik: I get it. I get it. You don't have to tell me any... I don't wanna hear any details. Hey. Willie, enjoy yourself. Soon enough people will start having opinions and-

Wilhelm: They don't care about me. 'Cause you're the Crown Prince that they have opinions.

Erik: I don't get it. Why are you sitting in your room sulking when you have a crush to hang out with?

---

Firstly, Erik refers to Willie's crush as completely gender-neutral. "You've met someone" could very easily be "you've met a girl". The same goes for "you have a crush to hang out with". Very well could have been "you have a girl to hang out with". Sure, it could be completely coincidental, but we live in such a heteronormative society that it would just make sense for Erik to use female-gendered words. Unless, of course, he knew.

Secondly, "Hey. Willie, enjoy yourself. Soon enough people will start having opinions". This sounds very much to me like, enjoy your time while you can be yourself without backlash because soon you won't have that privacy. While I feel that, yes, the same may happen with anyone Willie was to date, him having a same-sex partner multiplies that, by a lot.

In conclusion, Erik knew Willie was not straight, Willie should come out, but when he is ready, and August is a really deep character that people don't give enough credit to. Gosh, I hope I covered everything, I probably forgot so much, but it's fine. Please let me know your thoughts if you've made it this far into the post.

One last thing. I hope you'll notice how in this post, I never referred specifically to Wilhelm's sexuality, and I did that for a reason. I often see gay used to label him, and though I am unsure if that's being used as an umbrella term or specifically as in he only likes men, I think it's really important to realize that they're specifically making him unlabeled. In this youtube video Edvin Ryding, the actor who plays Wilhelm, says "What we're trying to do... We're not labeling Wilhelm's sexuality. I think that's good because it's like, it portrays that it's okay that way too. You don't have to. You shouldn't have to come out. It should be allowed to be a bit fluid, a bit out there." I just think that it is important as it's another type of representation that is not seen often.

#young royals #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #wilmon #simon x wilhelm #young royals netflix #wilhelm yr #simon yr #august yr #erik yr #netflix #edvin ryding #omar rudberg #malte gårdinger #ivar forsling

[dailycharacteroption]

Deity Drop 1: Erastil

It’s taken some time to get to, but I’m finally taking a look at Pathfinder’s many deities, which spans not only the core deities, but also those that are not as popular in the Inner Sea Region, but have relevance outside of that geographical expanse, not to mention various demigods that have their own niche followings.

Throughout these entries, I’ll give a summary of the nature of the deity, as well as more specific details that seem relevant, as well as their granted abilities in both first and second edition Pathfinder. (As well as details on how they fit into Starfinder, or might fit into it, since many deities that were relevant in the quasi-medieval period of Pathfinder lost relevance and attention in the far future.

In any case, let’s start with Erastil, also known by the epithet “Old Deadeye”.

The lawful good god of hunting, farming, trade and family is typically depicted as an aged ulfen man in trapper’s gear with antlers growing from his head, or as a humanoid with the head of a stag, and is the patron of those that seek to preserve a simple, organized life that ensures survival for the community and a future for their descendants.

Indeed, for the most part, Erastil is a pacifist, he and his followers only raising their hands to protect, rather than to go to war. Even still, both adventurers that follow his ways and the worldly alike know that such is not always possible, for evil and the misguidedness of civilization are not content to leave well enough alone of simple folk.

For those that see the value of simple pleasures, Erastil is an excellent god, but his more personable teaching style, speaking to his priests as one would to a younger member of the village, rather than as a distant and imperious god, reveals that his is a bit of a stubborn old man, viewing most other good gods as children with their priorities a little off center, what with their interest in civilization or flighty exploration and the like.

Stepping back outside the setting itself, this gets a little iffy as it is implied that Erastil really doesn’t get folks that do not pick a significant other with the intention to eventually start a family and have kids (i.e., a significant portion of the LGBT+ community). However, in 2nd edition, he’s been revised to be more open to such things. After all, adoption and being part of the community are just as important as siring a new generation.

Of course, we couldn’t talk about the down-home family man god without mentioning his wife, Jaida, a goddess of agriculture that sadly fell out of favor with the fall of the Azlanti Empire, but is very much still around.

Regardless, if your character is lawful and/or good and comes from a small village, it’s quite likely that they might at lest know a few minor prayers to Erastil, if not actually worship him.

 As a lawful good deity that dwells in Heaven, Erastil’s most common servants are various archons, as well as celestial versions of his favored animals i.e. deer, elk, and every other sort of cervine. These two come together in his servitor outsiders, the horned archons, who resemble humanoid deer, and not only hunt evil and protect the wilderness of Heaven and beyond, but also range far afield into the other goodly planes, and are thus more understanding of the less lawful planes than most archons. His herald is a massive hybrid of elk and plant life called the Great White Stag, while lesser unique servants include Arangin the celestial horse, Blackfeather the shapeshifting avian archer, Proudsnout the divine boar, and Scorchbark the brash but goodly arboreal treant.

In first edition, his domains are Animal, Community, Good, Law, and Plant, with his subdomains being Archon (by way of either good or law), Education (by way of Community), Family, Feather, Fur, Growth, and Home. All of this making him quite popular with goodly characters that have an interest in nature, community, or both.

By comparison, Erastil’s 2nd edition domains are much simpler, being earth, family, nature, and wealth, as well as occasionally duty. Also he grants his clerics access to true strike, wall of thorns, and tree stride spells. Old Deadeye having domain over the element of earth isn’t much of a stretch, but it’s clearly there because they needed to fill him out since he’s a major god and morality-themed domains aren’t a thing in this edition.

It would be remiss to not also talk about Erastil’s deific obedience and boons. The ritual to maintain this obedience revolves around the planting of seeds that can survive in the local soil, preferably those of edible plants, though if no such soil exists, placing seeds or useful survival materials in a place where travellers may find it see them marked by Erastil’s symbol, and make use of them. The basic reward for doing so blesses the worshiper with guidance in their own efforts to survive.

Meanwhile, those that go further and take greater blessings for their obedience gain the following. Evangelists gain spells to heal and protect; the ability to summon an animal ally or a twin duplicate of their animal companion; and supernatural accuracy and lethality with a bow.

The exalted instead gain the ability to communicate with, befriend, and summon animals; summon a pair of hound archons; and summon forth a bounteous divine feast that provides greater benefits and forges greater bonds between allies.

Finally, Sentinels gain spells that enhance their archery in various ways, such as improving accuracy over long distance or enchanting them with flame; enhance their leather or hide armor and draw power from the animal that it was made from; and a rare bond to communicate with plants, gain sustenance from sunlight, and immunity to the poisons that make certain plants impossible to eat.

As far as Starfinder goes, Erastil isn’t mentioned, but I imagine that while his worship isn’t mainstream in the Pact Worlds, he still has his followers, particularly in civilizations and species that reject advance technology, or those who live on frontier worlds surviving on local materials and what little they can make themselves.

 That does it for today. There are still a few things I didn’t touch on like Erastil’s paladin code or the divine fighting style feat and how it applies to him, but I hope you enjoyed and found this breakdown interesting nevertheless.

#pathfinder #deity #erastil

[ladyblogger-margie]

Pride Parade

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes (MCU)

Summary: Sam goes to Pride and just happens to run into Bucky Barnes, his crush, while both navigate their roles in the LGBT community as bisexual men and Avengers. 

Warning: G-Rated. Kissing, brief mentions of drinking, brief mentions of homophobia. 

Word Count: 1191

a/n: Happy Pride all! This is for Writer Wednesday and Jey’s Pride Celebration 2K21 week 1. To any bisexuals who don’t feel welcome at Pride, we are part of this community and you don’t have to justify yourself or identity to anyone. You’re enough. 

MY MASTERLIST

Sam checked over his shoulder as he heard a squeal behind him, wondering if it was for him. It wasn't, it was just a girl who had run into her friends. He was Captain America, but he was here today as an out and proud bisexual man and he just wanted to feel part of the community and not have to be a symbol all the time. 

He didn’t come unprepared though. There had been reports of counter-protestors planning to disrupt today’s Pride Parade and he was not going to just slink away if that happened, he would stand strong against the bigots and protect his community. 

He was waving a flag and cheering for the non-corporate floats in support of local clubs and charities when he saw him. Bucky Barnes was stalking the parade, he’s eyes assessing the crowd across the street from where Sam stood under the baking sun. Even in this heat, Bucky was wearing a long sleeve shirt, trying also to blend in. 

Sam was curious about the state of Barnes and his presence here today, while the two were openly out with each other as their friendship had developed, neither had mentioned they would be at the parade today to each other. 

Sam didn’t want to make Bucky uncomfortable, but he also was too curious to help himself to find out why Bucky looked so serious. Sam saw a slim break in the parade and darted swiftly across the street to cut Bucky off in his prowl. 

Bucky was shocked to see Sam, but the cues to this were subtle and early in their friendship, Sam would have missed the slight widening of his eyes and the ever so slight stiffening of his shoulders. He recognized them now though, so it was clear to Sam that he surprised Bucky. 

“Weren’t expecting me?” Sam asked. 

“You didn’t mention you’d be here,” Bucky said with a shrug, avoiding eye contact. 

“Neither did you,” Sam said and Bucky tilted his head dismissively. 

“I’m not really sure I belong here,” Bucky admitted. 

“You’re bisexual, why wouldn’t you belong here?” Sam asked. 

“I’m too old, too out of touch,” Bucky explained, his eyes still scanning the crowd. 

Sam scoffed, “Oh come off it, the B in LGBT isn’t there for decoration. Frankly it’s the only credential you need.”

Bucky smiled, “I’m here in case those anti-protesters show up, I figure if I can help with that, I could stick around.”

Sam smiled sadly at Bucky, the only place Bucky fell into naturally was with Sam and his family. Everywhere else Bucky felt the need to earn love, attention and belonging and he either avoided trying all together, or tried so hard it broke Sam’s heart. 

“You could’ve asked me to come with you,” Sam offered. 

“You could’ve asked me,” Bucky replied. 

Sam nods his head, “Well, here we are anyway. Did you wanna patrol together?”

“You were just watching the parade,” Bucky said, holding back a smile.

“Do you want company or not, man?” Sam asked playfully, shoving Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, let’s walk,” Bucky said. 

The pair started walking, deliberately keeping their fingers from brushing against each other. Sam had done a lot of work trying to compartmentalize his feelings for Bucky. It was complicated enough being the Black Captain America, and it was complicated being bisexual and being Black, and being the Bi, Black Captain America crushing on a recently absolved war criminal would be just, a whole different level of complicated. Especially if Bucky didn’t feel the same. 

They were wandering along, keeping their eyes out for troublemaking bigots, but also people watching and smiling at the pure joy experienced by the community as they found strength and support in each other. Sam smiled when he saw a black teenage lesbian couple holding hands, and the sight of their strength gave him some strength of his own. 

“You happy you came?” Sam asked Bucky. 

Bucky smiled, “Yeah, I am. The company is better than I expected.”

Bucky looked at Sam as he said that and Sam’s heart fluttered in his chest. He broke eye contact quickly and looked around at the surrounding crowd. 

“Yeah, it’s great to feel part of something bigger than yourself, right?” Sam asked, deflecting, not allowing him to get his hopes up. 

“Right,” Bucky said with pursed lips. 

They continued to walk along, but Sam noticed the increased distance between their bodies, but tried not to think about it. 

Near the end of the block they left the parade route and ended up at the after party location where the music was already playing, but the crowd was still thin. 

They milled around, relieved they didn’t encounter any counter-protestors, but now a little unsure of what to do next. Before either of them could say anything though, they were interrupted by an eager 20-something with a camera and a badge dangling from his neck.

“Did you two want a couple portrait?” he asked them. 

Bucky froze as Sam chuckled, “We’re good, man, thank you though.”

“Come on, it’s free and you can download the photo when you get home, maybe print it, hang it up? You guys are so cute, you’d be perfect for a candid kiss photo!” the kid babbled enthusiastically. His energy was infectious and it had both Sam and Bucky relaxed and chuckling. 

“Oh all right,” Sam said, “If you want, that is.” He turned to Bucky who was wearing a smile.

“Pucker up, buttercup,” he teased. 

The photographer readied himself and Sam gave Bucky a quick peck on the lips. 

The photographer clicked away and looked at the image, “That was a quick one, I can do another?”

Bucky wrapped his arm around Sam’s waist and pulled him close. Sam looked up into his eyes and saw the longing there that he was sure was mirrored in his own. 

“Kiss me again, like you mean it,” Bucky said and it didn’t sound like a joke. 

It sounded sincere and desperate and Sam reached out to grip the base of Bucky’s neck and crash their mouths together. They were lost in each other, Sam felt that something clicked into place along with an overwhelming sense of belonging. This felt right and he was just so happy it seemed Bucky felt the same. 

When they pulled apart the photographer was smiling fondly at them. Then he handed them a ticket stub. 

“Here’s the details, you can get 1 free download, and if you want additional photos it’s by donation, plus you can leave a tip anytime” he explained, “Happy Pride!”

Bucky didn’t let Sam go as they watched the photographer find his next subjects. 

“We definitely need to tip that guy,” Bucky said.

“Google review too probably,” Sam answered. 

They laughed and pressed their bodies together. Bucky took Sam’s hand, and led him to the drink tent. 

“Let me buy you a drink,” Bucky said. 

“So this is a date then?” Sam asked. 

“I’d like it to be,” he replied. 

“Me too,” Sam said and followed Bucky to the drink tent, far more excited for the evening than he was just moments ago. 

TAGS: @autumnleaves1991-blog​

#jey’s pride celebration 2k21 #writer wednesday #sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #winter falcon #captain america and the winter solder

[nightklok]

Kloktober Day 1 Prompt

Prompt: Favorite Character and OTP Pairing: Picklegail (Pickles the Drummer/Abigail Remeltindtdrinc) Title: The war is over and we are beginning Characters: Pickles the Drummer, Abigail Remeltindtdrinc, Eclair (cat), band members and charles are only mentioned Trigger Warnings: Very slight angst, very slight mention/discussion of trauma/PTSD. Tags: Some dark humor, mentioned trauma, discussion of trauma, fall, post galagtikon 2, hopeful/happy ending Summary: It's the first fall Pickles has realized he's lived through in years.

Author's Note: Yes this is...6 days late-But i still wanted to publish this anyway so enjoy :')

Read this fic on AO3 or read below!

The first day of fall fell on a Saturday.

And Pickles would realize it was the first time he had actually been aware of fall in years.

He couldn’t remember the last time he saw the leaves change or pumpkin picking or any of the fall activities he sparingly went to as a kid. He simply had no time, family, or desire to do any of those things as he grew older. He had the sudden moment of sadness that he had missed another fall but told himself fall was gonna come back next year and he’d just look at the leaves harder next fall. But he never did.

But now, he had the time. A lot of it. And a fresh perspective on life and just how wonderful living a quiet life was.

Getting to sleep in on a Saturday morning with the person he loved the most and having nothing else to do for the day was one of them. Normally, Abigail was the one who woke up earlier but for the weekend, it got to be the opposite. He could get up in an hour, make some breakfast and they could see about doing something together. Whether it’s going outside or staying in and watching something. But at the moment, he was content enough just sleeping.

But it wouldn’t last long sadly. Despite nothing important needing to be done for the day, he was woken up by the sound of meowing and a cat smacking his face.

Éclair, their beautiful cat they found outside a K-Mart, happened to like going on walks in the morning. And she was very persistent about her walks being exactly at 7:13 AM. It was 7:13 AM.

“C’mon, it’s Saturday,” He murmured as he pulled the blanket closer to his face, hoping that he could sleep for just a few more minutes.

But Éclair had no concept of time and would continue pawing at the sheets and when she began whining, he knew that his time sleeping in was already over. He didn’t want to wake her up and figured she deserved the extra hour of sleeping.

“Okay, okay, I’ll take you on a walk,” Pickles finally answered as he used a hand to gently push her away just so he could sit up. He was careful to not disturb Abigail but he saw her move and murmur something he couldn’t quite hear. He had to assume by the tone that she meant she was gonna do it. She always tried to even when he told her to sleep in on weekends.

“Just go back to sleep, babe, I’ll take care of it.” He answered quickly as he got out of bed but she was already sitting up.

“I’ll come with you.” She answered, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes., “Just give me a few minutes.”

There was no convincing otherwise and he was too tired himself to argue. He quickly snuck in a kiss before he got out of bed, “Alright, take your time.”

By the time he had thrown on some clothes and made himself look presentable enough, Abigail was already by the front door, kneeling down to leash Éclair. Despite them taking the same time to get ready, she looked like she had spent much more time doing it. Then again, she always looked beautiful to him regardless of how much time she spent.

He really did save the world to get to see today huh.

She stood up once she leashed the cat and turned to look at him with that small smile he always loved, “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” He answered as he made sure he put the house keys in his pocket before opening the door to let her out first before himself. Éclair already began wandering around the front lawn, as far as her leash would go.

They were hit by a cool breeze that gently swayed the trees surrounding them, causing some of the red and orange leaves to fall gracefully onto the ground. The trees weren’t entirely turning their leaves yet but the appearance was showing much more by the day. And each day only meant another normal day. The worst was behind them.

“You sure you don’t wanna get a jacket?” She asked.

“Nah, I’ll be fine. Got my own body heat.” He answered before he pulled her slightly closer enough to feel her skin heat up by the touch, “Besides I know how you can warm me up if I get cold.”

She wanted to mention about the neighbors or anybody seeing them but there was no one around at the moment. It was just them enjoying the early morning fall, the cool breeze and quiet excitement for a new season that just begun.

“Well, are you cold now?” She asked as she pulled him a bit closer.

He didn’t say anything else but reached up to kiss her, feeling her warm lips as they pressed against his. It felt as compassionate as the other thousands of kisses they must’ve shared in their lifetime. Honestly, he could probably find the same feelings he felt kissing her when he got a first kiss; the excitement, anticipation and pure love that he got to kiss someone he loved.

Their kiss was interrupted when she felt her leash getting tugged by Éclair who had grown impatient of them. She sat as far as the leash would let her, looking up at them expectantly. Amused, they walked past their front lawn to the sidewalk but felt the leash being pulled once again. They turned around to find her sitting still, meowing impatiently.

“C’mon, wanna walk a bit more? No? Okay.” Pickles answered with a laugh as Abigail went to pick her up. Almost immediately, she climbed up on her shoulders as she always preferred.

Her idea of walking outside was to walk a few steps and one of them had to pick her up for the rest of the walk. Walking around a block required too much energy. Did they expect her to actually walk alongside them every morning? Yes. Did she never fulfill that dream? No. But they also fed into her routine and nature, it wasn’t just their house anymore after all.

There was no use in arguing with a stubborn cat. She had made her territory in Abigail’s shoulder and they simply had to go along with it. She adjusted the leash so the other end of it would hook onto the inner jacket pocket that had a small sewn in hole meant for earphones. Once she made sure that the leash was secure inside, she reached over to hold his hand who quickly took it.

They took the usual route around the block. Shoes crunched against freshly fallen leaves, the wind picked up slightly again causing the leaves around them to move gently against the wind to a new area. If Pumpkin Spice Lattes and Apple Cider weren’t a symbol that fall was approaching, it was the leaves.

Pickles did try to remember when he last fall. Was it when he was a kid? A teen, maybe? He always fled before fall approached somehow. Always ended up in an area where he could not see the seasons change and everything remained a stagnant season the whole time.

But there was nothing to run from anymore. He could stay and watch the seasons change and turn forever if he wanted to now. Is this what freedom really feels like?

“Do you wanna go grab some coffee at the coffee shop?” She asked, interrupting his thoughts.

He quickly snapped his attention back to her and nodded, “Yeah, actually, the one two blocks from here, right?”

“Yep.”

He knew she knew that something was on his mind but she thankfully didn’t say anything. She already knew enough that he would speak when he was ready and he was always thankful for being able to fill in the gaps when he couldn’t speak. And she would always be thankful when he knew what she meant to say when she could barely get a word. It was a secret language between the two that no one but them knew and it was one they were both incredibly fluent in.

The coffee shop was a mom-and-pop one located on the end of the corner. LGBT friendly (Did he ever find those kind of coffee shops growing up?) and even had a small corner of the area for younger kids to play with. It was one of the places that they always loved frequently going to-if they weren’t well known to the world, they would’ve been known pretty well to the baristas.

“I can take Éclair, you can go order for us.” Pickles said. There were seats outside and given the weather, it wouldn’t be so bad to just sit outside and drink coffee while enjoying nature.

“Alright. The usual?”

“Surprise me.”

Pickles managed to take Éclair off her shoulder and set her down when he found a seat with decent shade. He tied the leash to the pole of the table but she seemed uninterested in exploring and instead jumped on his lap, presumably to take a quick nap.

He checked his phone while he waited, trying to catch up on whatever missed emails and posts from friends he had missed. Admittedly, going from seeing his friends everyday to now once a week at most was one of the toughest things to shift to. From knowing everything that went on in their lives, his knowledge of their whereabouts now came from whatever they posted in the group chat or social media.

Toki’s selfie with Magnus over the Eiffel Tower during their backpacking in Europe route. Nathan’s blurry image of a kid playing with a gator from the alligator rescue/children’s daycare he had started with Rachel. Skwisgaar’s video of one of the songs he was working with Nathan. A prototype rollercoaster blueprint from Murderface for the Dethklok amusement parks he and Knubbler were in charge of. And Charles not sending a photo but reminding him through text about a meeting regarding his solo album.

It was a crazy feeling to have looking at the boys he had lived with for more than a decade suddenly doing their own things. Did he feel left out? Maybe things were moving too fast? Miss the old times? He didn’t really know.

He found himself staring at his screen for far too long until Abigail came back taking a seat in front of him, “They’ll be coming over in a few minutes.”

He set the phone down, “Alright, what’d you get me?”

“You did mention you wanted me to surprise, didn’t you?” She answered with a playful smile that was clear she wouldn’t go easy on him.

“C’mon, I gotta know if I’m allergic to it or not. Could very well be allergic to milk today and might not even know it.”

“Guess it’s up to you to find out then; I’m sure there’s an EpiPen somewhere.”

Of course, she wanted to ask what was wrong but she didn’t want to press him. She knew he would budge eventually, he always did, but it was just a matter of patience and hoping to catch him at the right time.

Eventually, the barista came with the tray of coffees and food she had ordered, including a puppuccino for Éclair who woke up and hopped down to get her treat when Abigail set it down to get everyone’s orders.

She set the pumpkin spiced coffee, cinnamon rolls and a breakfast sandwich in front of him. She had ordered the same pumpkin spice coffee and breakfast sandwich; she always tried to avoid desserts for breakfast but he quickly shoved in a cinnamon roll in her plate anyway, “Here it can be your cheat day.”

“But you made me macrons yesterday.” She pointed out.

“It was sugar-free. And you can’t just pass off on a warm cinnamon roll. It’s bad for the environment I saved.”

She contemplated not even long enough before agreeing. They were pretty good cinnamon rolls…, “Guess I’ll need to pay for your contributions. Alright, I’ll take it.”

Pickles grinned as he took a sip of the coffee. It was still hot but he refused to even express he burnt his tongue for the sake of looking cool, “Great, glad my hard work paid off.”

For as much as he joked around, he didn’t mention anything about what was bothering him for the rest of their breakfast.

He would mention it on the walk back home when it was Pickles’ turn to let Éclair lay on his shoulder and Abigail holding a bag of free treats that the baristas insisted they take home. A few desserts as payment for saving the world. It was well worth it.

“I forgot what fall was like.” Pickles finally said as he looked at her. He didn’t downplay his feelings by joking

“You did?” She asked.

“Yeah. It had been too long since I last saw leaves and everything else and whatever. I guess it’s making me realize how long I missed out on some things, y’know?”

She had to wonder how he even forgot about fall. Or the fact that his hair color always reminded her of it. It was the color of vibrant red autumn leaves, not quite ready to fall yet but when the sun hit it, it showed the intricate details and would even shine as bright as it sometimes. And how could she ever put that into the right words? Maybe it just wasn’t the right moment, “Nostalgia?”

“I-I guess it’s that. Yeah. Nostalgic for the old things I guess. I was too used to that life. And I’m very happy with you, I really am! I’m doing more of the things now than I did before, but it’s hard to just completely let go of the past.”

Of course, he thought she would get offended which is why he didn’t look at her. Here he was clinging to his past again like some spoiled brat. If only he didn’t open his mouth. He probably seemed so ungrateful-

But he was met instead with warm hands taking his and he looked up to a very understanding Abigail, “I understand. There’s some things I miss and feel nostalgic for too. I don’t expect you to not miss those things. These things just end up happening, it’s part of natural life.”

“I guess…it’s just a lot harder to adjust than I thought. I’m sorry if I’m just dumping this on you, though. I know that this hasn’t been easy for you either.”

It wasn’t easy when Abigail could barely sleep without getting horrific nightmares that he had stayed up most nights worrying about. It wasn’t easy when Pickles ended up getting horrific nightmares too when he came back home, and he had yet to tell her all that he dreamt about. Their future kids, grandkids even, and even the current neighborhood kids would ask for stories of their heroism. Do they even dare talk about the price that was paid for it?

It couldn’t even be said that they had overcome it. The nightmares were less frequent, yes, but they were there. All it took was one bad night to ruin a week or month even. The horrors of their past would most likely be there for the rest of their lives, looming over and ready to strike when things seemed to be better.

But they made it so far together too. What’s another mile anyway?

“It hasn’t been easy but we’re both getting there.” She paused her walking to look at him, “We made it so far together, after all. I don’t expect you to be okay the same way you don’t expect me to be okay either, right? I’m not gonna ask you to do anymore than you already are doing and what you’re doing is enough.”

“And if it’s not enough? God, what if I’m just fucking up right now? There’s no way I can just…I don’t even know what. It’s just terrifying to be falling down that dark path again.”

She watched as Éclair looked up to the leaves around them, eyes completely dilated to look at the world around her. A leaf would just brush past her, failed to be caught and it fell to the ground.

Of course the leaves would eventually be raked. Whatever wasn’t thrown out or burned would eventually become mulch for the soil. Would help provide for the soil when spring rolls around. Then everything will grow again. Everything will be okay.

“If we fall again, we start over and flourish.”

—

“What was your last memory with fall if you don’t mind my asking?” Abigail asked that evening. They sat in the living room couch, sharing a blanket as they watched Knives Out. It would quickly become a tradition for them to watch whatever fall-related movies there were just to get in the spirit.

He paused for a moment, before finally coming up with an answer, “I met you, didn’t I? We were at that fall event Cornickelson used to host. It was probably a few years before you became Dethklok’s music producer? But anyway, we were paired at the same table and I was probably awkward as fuck right then and there but you still wanted to talk to me. We went to the garden and we just ended up talking about everything. God, I felt like a teenager with their first crush when I was with you. I never got to say that your hair color reminded me of the leaves.”

#my writing #metalocalypse #abigail remeltindtdrinc #pickles the drummer #kloktober2021 #kloktober