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#i feel a little better writing my feelings out but i still gotta lie down I'm feeling kinda sick from it
somelazyassartist · 1 year
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writemekpop · 8 months
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Imperfect | Lee Jeno
Summary: You and Jeno make a list of everything you don’t like about each other. 
Genre: Established relationship AU, angst
Word count: 1k
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“You don’t believe in soulmates?” Jeno says, as you lie with your head on his chest. His fingers freeze in your hair, showing his shock. 
“I mean, you’re not gonna like everything about your partner,” you say.
“You don’t like – things about me?” Jeno says. “Like what?” 
Your breath falls short. 
“Not big things!” you say, struggling to dig yourself out of this hole. “Your aftershave! It’s a little… intense.” You suppress a grin. “Like I’m drowning.”
Jeno flops back onto the pillow. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 
“You’ve gotta have things you don’t like about me too!” you insist.
“I can’t think of any,” Jeno groans. “I’m too busy trying to smell myself!” 
You hug Jeno tightly, savouring the feeling of his tight muscles beneath your hands. 
“Let’s just make a list, okay? Whenever something bothers us, we’ll write it down, then at the end of the week, we’ll share. No fights.” 
Jeno smiles. “Good idea.”
-- One week later --
Jeno tries to snatch the piece of paper from you. “Just show me! It’s been ages...”
You wrestle the paper out of his hands. Your heart is racing. “One sec! Just making some – last minute – edits.”
You are desperately scratching half of your list out with a pencil – because you realised that Jeno’s list was just a tiny post-it note, whereas you had a full sheet. 
Jeno snatches the paper from your fingers. “A-ha!” Jeno says. 
He clears his throat dramatically. “Mis-matching socks. Too afraid to talk to the people at the store.” He sits down on the bed, a frown growing on his face. “Kind of ugly… laugh.” The paper starts to shake in his hands. “Sort of – a – crybaby.”
Jeno tries to fling the paper on the floor, but it just wafts slowly down. His chest is rising and falling fast. He scrubs his eyes furiously. 
“Hey! Don’t be mad!” you say, sitting next to him. “You wrote a list about me too. Oh, Jeno, please don’t be upset.”
Jeno glares at you, his eyes red. “I’m not upset. Because that would make me a huge crybaby, and you hate that.”
He storms out of the room. 
You scramble to the floor and pick up Jeno’s list, on its yellow Post-it. You read what is written on it. 
You sink slowly to the floor. You feel like a horrible person. You wish you had never been born. You finally found a good guy, and you stamped on his heart like it was nothing. 
List of things wrong with Y/n:
Nothing 
You’re perfect 
---
You are crouched outside the bathroom door. Jeno has been in there for an hour. 
“Jeno, honey, please talk to me,” you say. 
“Get out!” Jeno yells. 
“You didn’t read the end of the list!” you say. “It says – none of this matters, because you’re the kindest, most passionate, most caring man I’ve ever met.”
You hear the lock clicking, and jump to your feet. 
Jeno opens the door, just a crack. “You don’t get it, do you?” His stare is ice-cold. “All my life, I was told that I wasn’t tough enough, brave enough, man enough. Until I met you, and you told me I was enough.” He shakes his head. “But you were lying.”  
He closes the door in your face. Through the door, you hear him say, “You know what hurts? The fact that I truly thought you were perfect. I was wrong. You’re mean, Y/n.”  
---
For the next two weeks, you spend every day reminding Jeno all the reasons that you love him - but he still gives you the silent treatment. 
One day, when you and Jeno are eating dinner in silence, Jeno slapped a piece of paper onto the table.
“What is that?” you say. 
“It’s my list.” Jeno says. “For you.” He picks it up and reads aloud. “Wears too much makeup. Judgemental. Mean. Can never take responsibility in arguments…”
Each word feels like a slap in the face. You thought that Jeno was too sweet to notice any of that stuff, but you were wrong. 
You clasp his hand, as tears start to fall. “I’m sorry, Jeno. I’m gonna treat you better, I promise.”
Jeno frowns. “Wait. You’re not… mad?”
You shake your head. 
Jeno’s eyebrows rise. “You’re not gonna deny it? Or fight back?”
You shake your head. “No. These past few weeks, I’ve realised that I – I don’t like looking at who I really am. Because who I am is… ugly. But I’m gonna change.”
Jeno clasps both your hands in his. “Oh, Y/n.” 
He comes round the table and pulls you into a tight, warm hug. You have been craving his touch for so long that that hug restores you to life. 
“I love you, you stupid idiot,” Jeno says. 
“I love you, too,” you squeak.
“Now who’s the crybaby?” Jeno says, chuckling. 
You laugh through your tears. “Shut up.” 
Jeno’s smile is warm, all signs of anger completely gone. But you have a niggling feeling you can't quite shake. 
“Do you really think I wear too much make up?” you ask, too embarrassed to meet his gaze. 
Jeno scratches his head. “Maybe… I dunno, I think I was just lashing out.” 
You stay silent. 
“Y/n, I think you’re gorgeous, inside and out. Smoking hot. Ten out of ten. Definitely would bang.” 
You snort. 
Jeno smiles, eyes crinkling. “I’m sorry, baby. I hate it when we fight.” 
You bury your head in Jeno’s neck, touching your lips against his soft skin. You can feel his soft sighs against your ear. Heaven. 
MAIN MASTERLIST
Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋
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thebearer · 10 months
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Can you write about Carmy making Reader say nice things about herself during sex???
minors dni 18+ tw: bad self talk but it's brief. dom!carmy.
"Again." It wasn't a request, but rather an order- a command. One followed by a sharp snap of his hips into yours, leaving you arching off the mattress.
"Carmen, p-please." Tears pricked the back of your eyes, mind swimming with pleasure. Every harsh, purposeful roll and snap of his hips was leaving you shaking, breathless and gripping the sheets.
"No. What'd I tell you, huh?" Carmen stilled, his hand moving to your throat, fingers pushing the side of your jaw so you looked at him, dark blue eyes boring into yours. "Keep sayin' it."
"Carmy, this is-"
His hand caught your throat, just lightly enough to feel you gasp, he could feel you clench around his cock. "I told you I didn't want to hear anything come out of that mouth that wasn't somethin' nice about yourself, correct?" Carmen's hips ground into you, coarse base of his pelvis wet with your slick.
"Yes." You squeaked, meeting his small rolls of his hip, grinding down with him, the feeling of the fat head of his cock barely brushing your sweet spot was making your body blaze in heat.
"So do as I ask." Carmen growled lightly, letting his hand move from your throat. "Before I have to get mean."
Your tummy flipped at the threat, shivering at the malice in his tone, toes curling with sensation. You mewled, looking away from his eyes. You felt too vulnerable, cheeks flooding with heat when you thought about what he wanted.
One off handed comment before bed, just one, that's all it took. Standing in the mirror, huffing at your reflection. "Carmy you gotta stop cooking for me. I'm getting fucking huge." You pouted, turning in the mirror. "My thighs are ginormous-"
"-Hey." Carmen snapped, stepping out of the bathroom, toothbrush still in hand. "Stop that. You're fuckin' beautiful, you know that."
You blushed, rolling your eyes. "'m not." You muttered, pinching the fat on your hips with a pout. "It's gross. I know. I'll start going to the gym tomorrow again, and I-"
Carmen pulled you by your hips, turning you to face him. His eyes were hard but not angry... hurt, was a better descriptor. "Hey, stop that." He frowned, lines of his forehead creasing deeply with the pull of his face. "Don't fuckin' say that. Why are you sayin' that, baby? It's not true."
"Carmy, it's ok. You don't have to lie t'me-"
"Excuse me?" Carmen's brows rose at the comment- the allegation. His hands gripped tighter on your hips. "Who are you talkin' to right now, huh? 'Cause you sure as fuck aren't talkin' to me like that, and you're not gonna be talkin' to yourself like that either. No fuckin' way."
He moved you quickly, one hand holding your wrists behind your back, the other snaking a hand down the front of your shorts. You stood in front of the mirror, watching him behind you, his eyes meeting yours in the refelection.
"Take it back." Carmen growled, finger ghosting over your puffy lips.
"Carmen..." You whined, a little embarrassed, a little shocked.
"Take. It. Back." Carmen growled, his hot breath tickling your neck. "Look at yourself and apologize." You protested only for a moment, his palm slapping against your mound lightly, but hard enough for you to gasp, knees buckling.
Carmen shoved your shorts down, letting them slide down your legs to a puddle on the ground. "Say you're sorry."
"I'm sorry." Your voice wobbled, hips rolling into his touch.
"For what?" Carmen pressed, fingers slipping through your slick folds.
"For-For saying I was ugly." You stuttered, chest rising and falling sharply, body electric with heat.
"You're not ugly are you?" Carmen hummed, lips brushing over the sweet spot on the crook of your neck. "Are you?"
"N-No." You hesitated, not at all convincing.
"Hm, that's not good enough." Carmen tsked, shaking his head at you. "Look at yourself and tell yourself you're not ugly."
"Carmen, I'm not going to do that, c'mon." You huffed, a nasally whine breaching in the back of your throat.
"Oh, yes you are." Carmen bit, eyes challenging and glaring at you through the mirror. "You know what I think? I think that's all you're gonna do tonight, you hear me?"
And that's exactly what you did. He kept you in front of the mirror, teasing you while compliments tumbled out of your lips, towards yourself. He'd guide you, mutter a praise into your skin that you repeated. When you did, he'd reward you. Hands bracing either side of the mirror, leaning forwards while Carmen ate you from the back.
"Say it again," He'd encourage, a gentle hand rubbing down your sweat slicked back.
"I'm a pretty girl." You babbled, knees wobbling from his tongue.
And when you didn't? Carmen was quick to correct you.
"I can't hear you, baby." Carmen muttered, a low rasp from between your legs, forehead resting on your ass.
"Carmen, please, that's enough, ok? I won't say it anymore, just please-" Two sharp cracks of his palm on your ass had you squealing, eyes jerking open to look at him behind you, lips in a tight line.
"Don't make Daddy have to punish you, c'mon. You were being so good. Keep going f'me." His tone was soft but firm, a soothing balm that left you blushing and head reeling. Desperate to be good for him.
You whimpered, but turned back to the mirror, jutting your hips back out. "I-I'm a pretty girl." You stuttered quietly, moaning when Carmen's tongue licked a long stripe from front to back, swirling and gliding through your folds.
Now, he had you where he wanted you. In that pretty headspace that had you sweet, fucked out and so good for him.
"Again, baby," Carmen's breath caught in his throat, holding back his own low groan. "Say it f'me again."
"I'm a pretty girl." You whined, eyes glossed over, clenching around him.
"You are." Carmen nodded, a sweet kiss to seal the sentiment. "Prettiest girl, you know that?"
You nodded, keening when he rolled his hips, pushing your legs back to hit that spot inside of you that had you sobbing. "S' pretty. Beautiful. Say it."
"Beautiful." You repeated, a little brainless, parroting his phrases.
Carmen smirked. "Who is?"
"You." You muttered. Carmen's heart swelled, blushing boyishly at the compliment.
"Who else? Hm? Someone prettier than me, who's that?" Carmen cooed, his own abs tightening with every sloppy thrust, your nails sinking into his arms.
"Me." You whined, a whimper that had Carmen sure he was going over the edge.
"That's right. You're a pretty girl aren't you? Prettiest fuckin' thing in the world- fuck." Carmen's hips snapped, deep, holding himself there for a moment. He could feel you clenching, your own orgasm washing over you again, shaking legs and fluttering eyes. He was spilling not long after, face pressed into your neck, muttering over and over the same praises between deep heaves and shuddering moans.
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mags-writes · 8 months
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Sunlight || Part VII
Summary: frank gets some insight
Series Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical swearing, first time writing x reader, no use of y/n, no beta readers we die like ray nadeem
Pairing: frank castle x fem!reader
Authors Note: a short one so I can properly finish the last chapter
PROLOGUE/MASTERLIST || PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV || PART V || PART VI || PART VII || PART VIII
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You blankly stared out at the fatherly love pouring from John Pilgrim as he held his sons to him in a hug that you knew was the most comforting thing those boys would ever feel.
The phantom itch of your own father's arms wrapping around you made your skin crawl knowing that it wasn't real and that you'd never feel that again. And not because of the John Pilgrim that was hugging his children in front of you, but a different, more deranged John Pilgrim that was still running around back in your dimension. A man with the same face and same voice.
"She refused any pain meds that would actually get rid of the pain so she's got a little relief and she's a bit loose-lipped." You heard distantly.
Amy sat down in front of you, blocking your view of John and you smiled warmly at her.
"Hey, baby." You said.
"Hey. How are you feeling?" She asked.
"Better, now that I've got some more fluids in me." You look at the IV and blood bag sitting next to one another that was hooked up to you. "How about you? You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." You knew she was rattled but you also knew that she was a tough kid and that she needed a few night's sleep before she felt more at ease. "Frank's worried about you though. He's like a kicked puppy-"
"Hey." Frank interrupted, sitting down next to you and kicking Amy's legs. "It's rude to lie."
"Yeah, sure thing Pete." She retorted with a smirk.
She got up leaning down to give your arm a squeeze before walking away again.
"Are you saying you're not worried for me?" You teased, nudging him with your shoulder.
"As if you'd want me to be." He replied, nudging you back. "Can I ask you somethin'?"
"You saw me shove a knife into a man's throat, Frankie," You laugh, looking at him with that sweet smile. "You don't have to ask that anymore."
"Okay, fair enough." He chuckles before setting you with his own smile. "That thing you did. The Mississippi countin'. What was that?"
"Oh, that." You teeter back a little before settling with a small smile. "Jack Murdock, Matt's dad, taught me how to throw a proper punch when I was six when he saw what my older brothers were like. It wasn't his fault but it just encouraged me to get angry. Then when the accident with Matt happened, and I started having to look out for my younger brothers as well as my older brothers, I just got so goddamn angry." You paused, going to show him your right hand but forgetting about the bandages. "You can't see it but there's a small scar from where I knocked out the two front teeth of this kid that was picking on Matt. I was sick of being the one keeping my brothers safe for their sake and then getting in trouble, being told I should mind my own business."
"Yeah, that's bullshit." Frank said, bringing his arm to rest across your shoulders and bringing you into his side.
"Jack talked to my parents and convinced them to let him train me in boxing." You laid your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes.
"That's where those light feet come from." Frank joked, making you smile bashfully and turn your face into his neck briefly.
"Yeah. Before he died, he taught me to put a pin in my anger." You open your eyes again, looking down at the bandages on your hands. "Take as long as I need to count to three but I better have a lid on it by three Mississippi's or I'd get my head rung in."
"Was he ever wrong?"
"Nope."
"Hey." You jumped at Dinah sneaking up on you again. "Sorry."
"Nope, gotta get used to it." You said and she took the seat across from you that Amy had. "You good?"
"I should be asking you that." She replied, nodding down to your hands. "They say it's gonna be a few weeks before you can actually use your hands."
"Yeah, don't know how I'm gonna cook anything." You brought your bandaged hands up in front of your face, frowning at them and wincing when you tried to move them.
"Karen and I have been talking," She leaned forward on her elbows on her thighs, giving you a serious look. "We're all going to help you move in with me."
You drop your hands, eyes widening a fraction. "Dinah, no, you don't have to do that for me."
"You're not going to be able to take care of yourself during the day with Frank and Matt off at their jobs." She said, reaching out and taking a hold of your wrist.
"What, and you can?"
"I got a promotion recently so I can take some time and transfer it all to work from home and maybe have an odd office day." She squeezed your wrist slightly. "That way I can help you recover."
"Dinah, you don't know me."
"I know that those boys would still be in danger if it weren't for you." She said earnestly. "I'm not going to let you sleep on a couch while you're in recovery."
"But..." You stuttered, looking at Frank for a second before looking back at her. "I make them lunches. And Dinners."
Dinah pauses, giving you a look like she can't believe what just came out of your mouth.
"Why the hell are you making lunch and dinner for two grown men?"
"I'm Italian!" You whined, bringing your hands up. "It's what I do!"
"Hey," Frank squeezed you to his side and brought his mouth to your ear making you shiver. "Quit bein' so stubborn."
You sigh, finally relenting. "Fine."
"I'm also hiring you." She adds, standing up and smirking.
"Pardon?"
\\\\
Tagged: @danzer8705 (sorry for forgetting to tag you in the last chapter!)
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Hi again! If it isn’t too much trouble, could you also write some relationship headcanons for IDW Overlord and Trepan (separate) with a human s/o? :o
Heyyy, It not to much trouble, I am an Overlord girly, unfortunately! But thats okay, Hes like really an extremely bad character, but he's still on my love list :( Anyways, I hope this is what you were looking for and I do hope I got Trepan correct! Enjoy :)
Characters: IDW! Overlord and IDW! Trepan
Overlord
Okayyyy, i know Overlord has like always been coo-coo but, i generally feel like if he had an S/O he'd attempte to like take it down a tiny bit. Not to much tho, he still has things he's gotta do.
He wouldn't want you to be apart of anything that has to do with killing or the decepitcons. He actually attempts to keep it this way.
If he can't then he just won't care, as long as youre not in danger on purpose. Get in a situation where you know you shouldn't be and he WILL NOT help you out of it.
If he can help you, he probably will make it seem like he won't and take his sweet ass time to do it. Maybe might get you to beg for him to save you. He's fucking crazy and would do it no questions asked.
I have this like idea, that since his human S/O is so small, he would just hold you in his servos. Lifting you up to places you find interesting and so you can see what he sees.
Since he also shows you what he see he talks to you about certain things, explaings who different cons are and why he(which turns into we) doesn't like them. It's kinda like when someone shows their S/O a reality tv show and is explaining people and lore to them. It's cute, he finds it cute that even in your small state you attempt to give advice and help him in situations.
He's ncie to you, but has a slight sarcastic tone and attitude at times, but its just his normal tone. He can sometimes be super mean, but its very rare he is mean towards you, since he mostly directs it towards Cons or Bots.
He doesn't have anything special about him while in a relationship, he's just kinda there. I can't even say he would attempt to take care of you, because he just doesn't. He spend time with you and trys his best to take you everywhere with him, he cares about you like a little bit. Ask him and he'll say no he doesn't but that simply beccause its Overlord we are talking about.
He just likes having you around, a constant in his crazy coo-coo ass life, and to be honest that the only thing he'd ask for. The rest of his time in the galaxy could just be spent with you, if he didn't have a raging ego and wasn't crazy ass shit, anyways I love Overlord and so should you :)
Trepan
Im going to be real with you guys, he's also fucking crazy. he kidna gives off vibes of keeping his S/O down in his secret ass lab. Just because down there he knows where you are, can make sure you're at least a room or two over from him is he feels off.
I feel like he would try to keep your knowledge of what he does to a minimum. He simply does not want you knowing he is a "bad guy" as he thinks you'll put it.
If you don't care and he allows you to know, he'd be straight up with you, answering any questions you have about his work and why he does it.
He's not mean, he can be a little condescending but other than that he will let you know how he feels. I feel like he enjoys quality time too, so if he can't do something during an experiment or whatever, he'll go looking for you just so he can be in your presence. Either askig you what you think or just quitely doing somehting or watching you do whatever. If not this then his idea of idea of time together is you sitting watching him work on some poor Cybertronian, while he tells you what is happening andd going on. This is only if you show intrest in what he does, if not then uhhh he just sits in a room with you talking or listening to you.
I feel like he's the type to lie if he thinks its better for you, ask about why the autobots are bad and he'll make something up. He WILL lie if it means keeping you with him or on his side, but you don't need to know that
I also want to say that a relationship is nothing special, but I'd be lying, and my names not Trepan. He's kinda controling, never letting you talk to other Cons or Bots that show up asking for him, keeps you hiden away from the rest of the planet or galaxy, simply because he likes you. HE GIVES YANDERE VIBES, i feel like that's what he would do. I was like this bitch is crazy, and it lowkey feels like something a lot of people like in some characters. He CAN and WILL be a Yandere if he feels its nessecary, but if it can all be fixed with a few lies and a nice little kiss then he'll go that route. He doesn't want to scare you off, he just wants you to know he loves you, very dearly.
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hughjidiot · 5 months
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Total Drama Island Reboot Season Two: Episodes 2, 3 and 4
Okay wow, was not expecting three new episodes at once. Again I am baffled by both the local and international release schedules. But I'm continuing to watch and enjoy this reboot, here are my rough impressions of all the characters in all three episodes. Spoilers below the cut, obviously.
Chase is out second. Pretty obvious boot with how he behaved in the challenge, but that's just how TDI is sometimes. Glad he went early if I'm being honest since his whole subplot with Emma had run its course and there wasn't much more to get out of Chase. Speaking of which though...
Emma was out fourth, which kind of surprised me. I thought she might get an arc of finally forgetting about Chase and moving on, but then she goes and gets eliminated. Maybe they're saving an Emma arc for if gen 4 gets a third season? Who knows. A little disappointing but not a huge loss.
And between them, Millie is out third. Not surprising if I'm being honest; Millie had a chance to train up to be a stronger player with Priya's help, but neglected to actually study for it. And then in episode 2 when she tries to think creatively to help her team win, her lack of social skills is what did her in when she failed to consider how pissed her team would be for tricking Damien down the most dangerous slide. Her elimination feels like a natural consequence of her own actions and shortcomings instead of the contrived coincidences that Total Drama was guilty of many times in past seasons.
Then there's Damien himself. So far he still hasn't done a whole lot, but he's definitely shown to have become more self-confident with the way he called out Millie and how he was willing to brave that rickety bridge in episode 3. Time will tell if he makes it far.
Zee continues to be hilarious. Not really having much of an impact in terms of plotlines with other characters, but he always gets a laugh out of me. "Not thinking is my specialty!"
Gotta say, I thought Priya would have at least shown a little more of a reaction to her bestie being voted off. Still her plotline with Caleb is interesting. I can picture this leading to drama down the road where she realizes Caleb has just been trying to build an alliance rather than flirt with her. Or who knows, maybe Caleb will develop genuine feelings for her and it becomes a ship. Could go either way.
Speaking of Caleb, he represents the biggest difference between the writing of the reboot and previous seasons. Not once does the show portray him as antagonistic in trying to manipulate Priya into an alliance; he's just trying to form a strong partnership to make it farther in the game. Helps immensely that Caleb isn't actively cruel like Heather and Alejandro; he's genuinely chill despite his determination. Him literally carrying most of his team in episode 3 was awesome, not gonna lie.
Nichelle continues to dominate and be awesome in challenges. However I can't help but notice she's not really trying to get close to anyone, like Caleb is with Priya for example. I have a feeling that could come back to bite her if people vote her off for being a potential threat ala Caleb in season one.
I'm loving Axel so far. She's much better about being a team player but also hasn't lost her edge. I also like how we're getting depth to her, like her love of poetry. And then there's her romance with Ripper which I did not see coming. More on that later.
Holy shit, I was hoping for more of the MK/Julia alliance, but I wasn't expecting this much! I'm loving MK's unorthodox strategy of disguising as an intern to get inside information, it's very unique.
Oh and MKulia might become a thing. "Oh stop it, you'll make me blush!" "If MK's brain drove a cool car, I would totally date it." Watching these episodes I was like Wait are they gonna go there? Oh my god they might actually go there! And if they do, I am here for it!
Wayne and Raj continue to be very wholesome and hilarious! I love the dynamic they bring to Team Skunk Butt, wanting to play fair while Julia and MK cheat. And stuck in the middle...
is Bowie. I'm loving the drama of his character arc: he's still willing to pull the same underhanded tactics he used in season one and is all in on MK's strategy, but now has Wayne and especially Raj are acting as his morality pets. Some are predicting this could lead to a Rajbow break up, but I honestly don't think they'd do that. What I think will happen is Team Skunk Butt loses a challenge despite MKulia cheating again with Bowie's knowledge, Bowie feels terrible, and to make it up he offers to eliminate himself if one of the Hocky Bros is about to be voted off.
Last but not least, Ripper. Gonna be honest, he was my least favorite of gen 4 in season one; I didn't care for his focus on gross-out humor and he survived eliminations over characters I liked more. I didn't expect much from him going into season two so I was blindsided here. Not only is his gross out humor significantly toned down (but still present) but he proved to be quite endearing with his insecurity over his crush on Axel. I was especially stunned in episode four when he actually tried to connect with Axel's interest in poetry and actually wrote a poem for her, something I could never see season 1 Ripper doing. And Axel reciprocating with a kiss despite not seeming interested in him earlier? My haw hit the floor. Before I was hoping he'd be an early boot, but now I find myself actually wanting to see Ripper stick around and see where things go with him as a character and his potential relationship with Axel. I... actually like Ripper now, which is a sentence I never thought I'd say.
A few minor issues aside, I am loving this new season so far. I haven't genuinely enjoyed Total Drama since the original TDI 15 years ago.
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Prince's Protected | Serpent's Nest
Hello! So I spent a good chunk of my time the other day rereading “come now little prince” (ridiculously good!!) and I was wondering if you would consider expanding on that part in the most recent chapter where the heroes take care of Janus? (Specifically a scenario of Roman taking care/comforting Janus bc I love how you’ve written them in this and would be really interested to see that dynamic shift and how the relationship between the two grows as time has passed) also! I’m in the middle of reading Tales of Thicketdown Forest bc I’m obsessed with your writing and goodness it’s so sweet and has me feeling very soft and I can’t wait to finish it! – anon
Read on Ao3 Masterlist
Warnings: gsw, blood loss
Pairings: roceit
Word Count: 2074
"Stay with me," Remus grunts as he shoulders open the door, hand still pressed to the wound on Janus's side, "we're almost there."
Janus grits his teeth and shoves his cane under him, trying in vain to prop up his weight with his non-working arm. Remus catches him without blinking when it clatters uselessly to the ground. Granted, he still manages to bash his knee into the hardwood floor before he's swung up properly, but that leg was already on its way out in the first place.
"Shit. Sorry."
"Apologize after I'm not bleeding out," he grits through clenched teeth. Remus just chuckles darkly and presses on into the dark apartment.
Now, realistically, they should have gone to the medical facility, but at the risk of sounding paranoid, they weren't sure what else was compromised. Certainly having a bomb explode Janus's car before got in was sign enough that his security needed to be tightened, they didn't need to ask the question of if the medical staff had been infiltrated too. Besides, Janus didn't get to where he is by having only one contingency plan.
He's jolted out of his musings by a rough deposit onto one of the couches, Remus kneeling over him a second later, both hands still pressed to the wound. Janus manages a half-hearted protest at the rough treatment when he catches sight of the fear lingering behind Remus's stoic gaze. Ah, Remus…ever his feral little junkyard dog…so unprofessional when it came to everything but the worst parts of the job. And here he is now, that loyalty glimmering through the mask he wears as a member of the Serpent's crew, as his hands fill with blood that should never have been spilled.
…the blood loss really is getting to him, he's never this introspective sober.
One hand lifts almost on its own to card gently through Remus's hair, leaving a few red trails on his temples and the very tip of his ear. Remus's gaze flies to his immediately, searching for what might have gone wrong, only to twitch when he realizes Janus is only petting him.
"The doc's almost here," he says instead, refocusing, "just hang on."
"It's okay, sweetie," Janus murmurs drowsily, "I know it'll be okay."
"Yeah, it's gonna be fine, you just hang in there."
"My Remus," he coos, still running his hand across Remus's scalp, "my sweet Remus…such a good boy. Feral little junkyard dog…"
"Shit, you really are out of it," he hears Remus murmur distantly, mostly to himself, "doc better fucking get here soon."
He can tell by the blur of black and the fact that Remus moves him to lie down that the doctor is here, but what's more important is that Remus doesn't leave. Instead, he stands where Janus can still pet him, blinking sluggishly at his face as he watches the doctor work. A few sharp pains lance through the pleasant haze and he winces. Remus wraps his arms lightly around Janus's shoulders and holds him there.
"You gotta hold still, Janny, it's almost done. You're gonna be just fine, okay? We'll get you on painkillers and everything, just hang on."
"'S it bad enough for the good stuff?"
Remus must have a conversation with the doctor. Then he shakes his head. "Nah. You're just being dramatic."
"That's my right."
"Uh-huh, and it can be your right even more when you're not about to bleed out on this couch."
"'S my couch an' my blood, it can go where I want."
"As long as it's in your veins and not all over the shit you'll make me clean up, yeah, that's fine."
He tugs lightly on Remus's hair in reprimand as the doctor finishes patching him up. Slowly, the wooziness of blood loss starts to turn into the fog of painkillers as Remus helps him sit back up. He sees the doctor off with a nod and looks around for his cane, noting that Remus must have left his side at some point to stand it back up in its place by the door—what a sweet boy.
"Guys nabbed him already," Remus is saying—ah, yes, the fool who put the bomb under his car, excellent—"I'll be down there tomorrow once I'm sure you're not about to do anything stupid."
"Please, my dear, have a little faith." He goes to push himself up from the couch—
"That," Remus barks sharply, and then there are hands on his shoulders pushing him back down, "like that. That's the stupid shit I need to make sure you don't do."
"Oh, relax, Remus, I am fine—"
"You are not fine, you're just high as shit on painkillers right now that make you think you're fine."
"I'm not high, Remus, I know what that feels like and this isn't it." Janus sighs in frustration when Remus doesn't let go of his shoulders. "Oh, for the love of—I know what painkillers feel like, I know that I'm hurt, now let me up."
If it had been any other operative, perhaps the steel he injected into his tone might have sufficed to make them stop babying him. But oh, no, not Remus, who just gives him a look. What happened to the days when he didn't even have to say anything and Remus would know to back off?
Distantly, he registers Remus's fingers twitching ever so slightly and he realizes must've said that out loud. He lets out a low noise and reaches out to rest his hands on Remus's ribs.
"Shh," he mumbles—are they sure they didn't give him the good stuff? He's having trouble keeping his eyes open—"I didn't mean it."
What happened to the days when I did?
"I know," Remus says, voice softening just a touch, "just like I know you need to move as little as possible right now."
"What," he half scoffs, half laughs, "are you going to babysit me until you think I'm all better?"
"No."
"Good, because—"
"I'm gonna get Roman to do it."
"—that wouldn't work out for—you're going to what?"
And as if he could hear him, which at this point he's not going to put past either of them, Roman walks out from his bedroom. Janus's eyes widen slightly as he comes to take Remus's position in front of him, sitting on the coffee table as Remus hands him something he tucks into his pocket.
"Stay put," Remus says, "I'll be back."
"Oh, so you give the orders now?"
"You're injured, so yeah."
"Hey," Roman says softly as Janus tries to turn and follow Remus's path across the room, "he wasn't kidding, you know, you need to stay still."
At the first brush of Roman's hand against his flank, he sighs, resigning himself to letting the little prince fret over him for a moment. If he can reassure the both of them that he's fine, then perhaps he stands a better chance of convincing Roman that he can actually stand up. A cute little furrow forms between Roman's brows as he looks at the doctor's handiwork, the fingers on his free hand almost ghosting over the stitches.
"You're going to have to be careful of how you lie down," he says, still speaking as though if he said his words too loudly, they might shatter in the quiet air, "keep the stress off the surrounding skin."
"I have done this before, you know."
"I know." Roman looks up to meet his gaze. "That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."
He's definitely blaming it on the painkillers that he nearly melts at that, reaching out to brush his thumb against Roman's jaw. "I'm alright, little prince."
"So you need to stay still in order to be all the way better."
"Little prince—"
"You barely let me move when you first put my stitches in," Roman says before he can finish his thought, looking up at him with devastating softness, "it's okay. Just sit, I can take care of everything else."
"That's not your job, sweetie."
"But I want to do it. Look—you've done so much for me. For all of us, okay?" He reaches for the hand still brushing his jaw, cupping it between both of his and pulling it to his chest. "And now you're the one who's hurting. Let me look after you for a little bit, okay?"
Janus looks at his little prince, savoring the feeling of his hands wrapped so firmly yet delicately about his own. "Who taught you to be so sweet?"
At Roman's bashful little smile, he sighs, leaning back against the couch and tugging Roman with him. Roman comes, sitting ever so carefully on his non-injured side. Janus frees his hand from one of Roman's and brings the other to his lips, kissing it gently. Sweet little prince…
"Come lean on me."
He rouses himself a little. "Hm?"
"You look tired," Roman murmurs, settling himself more securely on the couch, "come and lean on me if you want."
It takes a fair bit of careful shifting before Janus is leaning steadily against Roman's bulk, his head nestled in the crook of his shoulder, his hair tickling the underside of Roman's jaw. One of his arms is wrapped securely around Janus's shoulders, the other still tangled with one of his hands. His puffing breaths warm the very top of Janus's nose, his chest almost rocking him to sleep as it rises and falls. He turns ever so slightly to press a kiss to the crown of Janus's head and Janus hums.
"You've done this before."
He feels more than sees Roman nod. "Did this with Remus a lot. And the others."
"I'm…sorry."
Roman shifts just enough to squeeze him in a tiny cuddle. "Thanks to you, we won't ever have to worry about that ever again."
He must start drifting there, on the couch, in the arms of his little prince, for he blinks and the light has changed. Now the shadows of the night spill in through the massive windows, thin blue fingers reaching across the floor to touch the base of the coffee table, the chairs, the kitchen island. Has he fallen asleep? Has Roman? Is it still the same day? The familiar bite of the pain has yet to resurface so it can't have been that long—except, of course, if they were lying and they did put him on the good stuff.
It suddenly occurs to him that there is a word for this feeling. When you wake in the night to realize that you needn't move yet, or when you stir from a place only to shift slightly and fall back to slumber. He has a vague memory of hot nights in the middle of the summer where he couldn't fall asleep even with the slightest sheet, only for the heat to break around the wee hours of the morning. He would rouse just long enough to pull over a sheet and then he would sleep again, safe under the gentle chill of the darkness. There is a word for that, isn't there? That precious feeling that can only truly be felt in its moment, lost to the ephemeral grace of memory?
Is he there now? Slipping in between moments as ripples move through water?
But no, there shifts Roman underneath him like a gentle current guiding him back to the world of the waking, and he turns just slightly to see a soft smile on that sweet face.
"Hey," Roman says softly, "how are you doing?"
"'M good."
"Yeah?"
"Yes," Janus murmurs, his eyes already slipping shut again, "thank you, little prince."
"Of course," he hears distantly as he falls back into the waiting arms of the darkness, "you're safe now."
Ah, he thinks, that's the word.
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jessource · 9 months
Text
THE GOOD WITCH BY MAISIE PETERS LYRICS
still argue like my mother and suppress stuff like my dad.
i don't think i wanna get better.
the way i loved you, i will not be embarrassed of that.
you broke me big time.
you give up like a ghost leaving halfway through the band.
i let you butcher my big heart.
you broke my heart and my self-esteem.
came a boy and left a man.
this is armageddon.
i knew loving you was letting you leave.
i am exhausting and you're not in love.
i'm the best thing that almost happened to you.
i stay up, you're sleeping like a lamb.
you're gonna walk into some underground bar.
goodbye from your biggest fan.
i wish i would've seen it sooner.
you got two types: countryn and western.
this is my coming of age.
lost my page when you kissed me.
the love we had was covered in snow.
told her you were just a friend.
was i just an idea you liked?
yeah, i'm sure there was heartbreak.
i saw you and your girlfriend.
i'm dating but dating just for sport.
i am unhinged.
it was endless roads in the same old boots.
loving you was easy, that's why it hurts.
i'm delaing with the heart you broke.
you built me like a promise 'til it broke me like a curse.
we could live off magic and maybe's.
you couldn't have loved a girl any harder than you loved me.
i'll leave you behind, but that don't mean it's easy.
it wasn't real, but it was for me and you know that.
one day, you're gonna wake up.
oh, is she just like me?
i'm throwing you a bone.
still don't play the black keys.
how's it feel to have made me cry?
got the news just last month.
i've pleaded.
i'm not holding my breath.
i wish it was two weeks ago.
you swore that you'd be there for me.
mr i don't want a label.
you're kinda awful, but you're not awful on purpose.
you look better, what the fuck?
i tried to rewrite it, but i can't.
if a man says that he wants you in his life forever, run!
well, fucking sue me, 'cause at least then we could talk.
you took what you took and you left what you left.
i'm kinda busy but like, stay in touch?
i sleep through the night.
if i'm tricky, why'd you kiss me?
has she got a better body than mine?
i know the girl that you want and it scares me.
oh, mr bruce wayne, where is that cape now?
you're laughing like a kid.
i thought i gave you the best of me.
how come you're taking me from your arms?
oh lord, i'm going back to therapy.
if you don't love me, why you'd act it.
what was cheap to you to me was all i had.
maybe you're lost and you just can't see what you have.
i will try forgiveness, but i will not forget.
you couldn't keep what you couldn't tame.
i was good to you.
i still love you.
you still get to me, but i still let you.
you were it for me.
if i'm not careful, i'll wake up and we'll be married.
do you love her?
you're pretty like a girl, till you're vicious like a man.
i beg you, and you don't understand.
i am not allowed to want you any longer.
now we're living the dream and i hope we never wake up.
will you tell me just one more lie?
it's sad and it's true.
we don't speak 'cause it's too tricky.
you touched me, now your touch will last for centuries.
i wish when we went to the beach that day we'd taken more pictures.
bye bye from your girl.
i'm doing better.
i've been lied to.
i can write you out the way i wrote you in.
you said we're like your mom and dad.
i'm the greatest love that you wasted.
you got every single thing you want and i just watch.
i gotta get my act together.
you burnt down easter island as if it wasn't sacred.
i still want you back.
taste my venom.
pretend that it's what you wanted.
i know how your tone works.
you pushed me out quicker than it took me to put my jeans on.
don't you know that you're losing this?
i thought it would be us for life.
but now you're gone, honey, i can't sleep.
you made me little miss unstable.
this song's for you, and it's all we have.
i gave you all of myself.
oh my, what happened here?
yu gave me the world and you gave me your word.
you'll throw your rocks and you'll scream that you hate me.
still flinch at the sound of a door.
i'm on a one way trip to take over the world.
a haunted house nobody lives in.
wow, hey, it's been forever. do you wanna get a drink, like together?
i save you a seat and you say you wanna stand.
of course, you couldn't read me.
i can finally breathe.
what about (name)?
you're just a boy, and i'm kinda the man.
you wanna hear about it?
i can't help thinking that she's got a better body.
everybody pretends that they're great but what if you actually might be?
yeah, i know you did bad, but if one more person says it i might go mad.
the worst way to love somebody is to watch them love somebody else and it work out.
you think i'm alright but i'm actually bloody motherfucking batshit crazy.
take the hand and go with him.
run.
i'm just talking to your memory.
you'll see a pretty little thing catching eyes in the dark and it's me.
i'm not gonna wait, now i know better than that.
she stays up, he's sleeping like a lamb.
i had to let it go.
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Ehy, I hope you're doing well💕Would you be up for writing a slaxl/axl? Like them taking care of their kid😩 I read you we're busy with your exams during this period so don't worry abt time, don't wanna be a bother🤗 also good luck with them!💗
Thank you so much for your request <3, I'm so sorry for being late but I'm working through all my requests.
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Axl stared at the papers he was holding for the fifth time in a minute.
Application for adoption.
That was the title and he made sure to read it over and over, then slowly kept going until he read  his signature, then he would start again.  
He couldn’t explain why but he felt mocked by the documents, probably because they contained the story of his life or better say they were the proof of how inadequate he was.
When Slash suggested the idea to start looking into adoption, after years of dating, Axl was enthusiastic until he remembered a small detail : he had no idea what a good father was like. Soon happiness was replaced by worry and the constant fear that he would have shattered Slash’s dreams because the government wouldn’t deemed him fit enough to be a dad.
“Don’t worry about it. The social workers know what they are doing, they would never let us meet London in the first place if they thought you weren't safe.” Slash kept repeating him every time they had the opportunity to meet their hopefully future son.
Now Slash was about to come back with their child for the first time ever. No social services, no monitored visiting, just them and the baby which scared Axl. What if he ended up upsetting the baby? Or if he involuntarily hurt him? What if he turned out just like his step dad?
His train of thought was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Fuck, was Slash already back with the baby? What was he supposed to do? With his heart beating so fast, Axl slowly opened up the door and he was met by an adorable sight : his boyfriend holding their sleeping baby.
A part of him was relieved to be able to postpone the inevitable moment when he had to make the first mistake in his fatherhood, but he would lie if he didn’t say he was a bit sad to not be able to interact with London yet. But after all he was just one year old, so he was still sleeping often and just starting to talk a little bit more.
“I wanted to wait for him to wake up but social services said that I could take him, after all we have to get used to traveling with him even when he’s asleep.” Slash explained.
The redhead didn’t fail to notice the look of pure love in his eyes as he held London. How to blame him? Their son just looked so damn cute and Slash seemed to be born to be a dad, unlike Axl who seemed so lost.
“Did he wake up?”
“Just for a minute in the car but I calmed him down and told him we were about to meet papa, you should look how happy he was!” Slash said but he earned a scoff by Axl.
“C’mon, you’re lying.”
“Why should I? You gotta understand you have been great with him so far!”
He knew deep down Slash was right and probably he was blowing up everything yet that didn’t ease the worry. Maybe he should just start with small steps like putting the baby in the crib? Okay, maybe that was too forward. Putting it with the help of Slash? Now that was more reasonable.
“Can you… can we put the baby into the crib together?” The singer’s voice was uncharacteristically low and hesitant.
“Sure. The social worker gave me his favorite teddy bear too, you just have to take out from the bag that I dropped to the floor once I got in.” Slash smiled apologetically but Axl didn’t care and took the bear out.
The walk to the nursery felt ten times longer but once they were at the crib, Slash slowly turned towards him with a smile.
“I’m going to hand him to you, okay?”
“No. What if I drop him?” Axl replied.
“Ax, you won’t drop him. Look I’m gonna make my hands at the bottom of the crib, so that I can catch him if you feel uncertain.”
Axl nodded and slowly put down London as gently as he could, feeling a weight being lifted off as the baby didn’t wake up or started crying but just kept peacefully sleeping. It was a sight to look at their little bundle of joy peacefully sleeping and fully knowing it was theirs now, a sign of their love and hopefully they would give him a better life.
“He is so cute.” Axl whispered with admiration.
“Totally. I can’t believe that we are fathers and that he likes to sleep all the time!” Slash added.
“I’d say let’s wait a few years and he will beg us to extend his bedtime.”
“Probably. Why don’t we go to watch a movie in the living room? We have the baby monitor if anything happens.” Slash grabbed Axl’s hand, still sensing the worry radiating off him.
The redhead agreed, after all some relaxing alone time could do nothing but good and prepare him for when London would wake up. The thoughts in his head were getting too crowded anyway so he needed a distraction before he would find himself freaking out and disappoint both his son and his boyfriend.
Slash probably felt pity for him because he didn’t decide to put on his usual horror movies but a cheesy romantic comedy, he even insisted on making popcorn and was cuddlier than usual, not that Axl complained because he loved that.
Two hours later the credits started to roll. London didn’t have any issue besides making some normal baby noises and soon calming himself down back to sleep, however that didn’t stop both of them from looking at each other with worried faces that screamed “should we check on him?” even if he would calm down soon after.
“This is so stupid! The whole movie could have ended five minutes in!” Axl argued as he put the popcorn bowls into the sink.
“Ax, it’s a movie. It’s obvious they need to make everything rather than real life.” Slash shoot back.
“Well it doesn’t justify the fact it’s silly!” A cry from the baby monitor interrupted him. “See? Even the baby is crying because of how stupid that is…”
Axl stopped as soon as the words left his mouth and everything sank in : the baby was crying! Soon he started to slightly panic again because what did happen? Did he just woke up? Was he hurt?
“Oh Lon woke up. I imagined that since it’s around feeding time or so they told me.” The guitarist tried to maintain his composure and walked to the kitchen.
“So what do we do now?”
“I’m gonna prepare his milk and you can stay with him you know, calm him down until the food is ready.”
The singer knew that if he stayed still he would be overwhelmed by his worries, so he decided to walk as fast as he could to the nursery and just face his fears. However when he saw London’s distressed face he felt his heart breaking a little, he didn’t like to see him sad even if it was normal for babies to be sad because they were hungry.
“Hey, it’s okay. Shh, I got you.” Axl tried to keep his tone as gentle as possible as he picked up the baby from the crib.
London clasped to him for comfort but didn’t stop crying so Axl decided to grab his teddy bear, in an attempt to calm him down.
“I know, dada Slash will be here soon… I got your teddy bear though.” He slowly waved it in front of the baby’s face.
“Let’s sit on the armchair, so papa feels less afraid of dropping you to the floor.” He admitted as he sat on the armchair they insisted on having just in case “we need to write music and look at the baby at the same time.”
He seemed interested in his little bear but still quite upset.  Axl wondered what else he could do, and the only thing that came to his mind was what he knew how to do best: he started humming. It was a slow lullaby melody but it caught London’s attention and made him look at his papa, curious about this new side of him.
The singer smiled, he was revieled that he didn’t fuck up and managed to calm down his baby even for just a bit.
"Do you think I could turn that into a song? Imagine, a lullaby rock album... That's a crazy idea." He felt more relaxed by talking to London even if he couldn't answer him, his scary thoughts seemed to slowly disappear in the back of his mind as he kept humming and changing the tune.
"Damn look at you two!" Slash's words snapped him out. The curly man was standing at the door with the bottle of milk in his hand.
"How long were you standing there?"
"Two minutes... I know he's hungry but that was a catchy song!" He joked as he approached the rest.
London’s eyes light up at the sight of his bottle and Axl hands him to Slash, he’s very happy to observe and learn for today and it’s only fair they share their tasks, as it is the best way for them to learn. He’s not empty handed as he “keeps protected” his baby’s teddy bear until he can finally play with it again.
“I promised him that you would play some guitar.” Axl breaks the silence but he’s unable to let out his true feelings.
Slash chuckled and looked at his son, who was too busy eating to notice him.
“You’re already ganging up with your other dad? That’s so sneaky! I know he’s your favorite but…”
“Oh c’mon, I’m not his favorite and you know it!” The redhead replied.
“Do I? Why can’t you be his favorite?”
“You know why, I’m so unprepared for him… I’m not the best with kids.
Slash knew about Axl’s fears and doubts but he had never seen them written so clearly on his face like at that moment, for the majority of their journey he just hid them the best he could. He was aware his childhood was a sensitive subject, yet he wished the other man could see how great he was.
“It didn’t seem like that earlier. Our baby feels safe with you as much as he feels safe with me, even if that’s hard for you to believe.”
Those words hit Axl very deep. He loved kids but how was he supposed to unlearn everything he has been thought in his early years? How could he not make mistakes that would hurt his child in the long run? Why the love he felt didn’t seem enough to solve all those problems?
London’s little noises caught his attention back, apparently he was done and he wanted them to know that he was more than ready to play and be entertained.
“Am I right Lon? You love papa Axl.” Slash pointed at his boyfriend.
“Papa!” He said happily and the singer couldn’t help but feel his heart swelling with joy.
“Yeah, he’s papa and I’m dada.” The curly man said, indicating himself this time.
“Dada!” London repeated all excited.
“He’s a fast learner. We can’t swear around him or he’s gonna learn the worst sh… stuff” Axl corrected him.
When it was clear that London was getting bored, they decided to pick up some of his toys and hang up in his room to look after him. First Slash read with him a book about reptiles and wild animals because he loved them and so London seemed to, then Axl watched and helped him as he discovered the big cube with shapes, numbers and letters that he needed to insert, as well as repeating to him what they were.
Lastly it was time for Slash to honor his promise by playing the guitar, so that the baby could get his private concert and even dance a bit as much as his developing motor skills allowed him to. Axl couldn’t stop thinking how happy he felt looking at Slash holding their son and making him spin happily, they looked like a happy family and he couldn’t ask for more.
“Okay concert over, we have to prepare dinner.” The singer stated.
“Oh, we just need to heat what Duff gave earlier.” Slash said nonchalantly.
“He gave us food?”
“It’s Duff. We might be parents now but he’s always going to be a mama bear.” Axl couldn’t argue with that and laughed.
London seemed very interested in his pasta, ditching completely the fork to eat just with his hands but who were they to judge him, if the kid wanted to eat with his hands they would let him do it, God knows they did far worse while being way older than that. Plus they find it totally adorable.
They turned the TV on MTV to see if there were any crazy news about their fellow rockers ( because when rockers don’t do crazy shit?) or discover any new song but before they could wonder which song could be next, London’s eyes lit up.
“Dada!” He said, pointing at the TV and in fact a photo of Slash was featured on the screen.
“Is this the best or the worst moment possible to have our son watching us on TV?” Slash questioned.
“It depends what the song will be, you better believe I’ll cover his little eyes faster than a lighting during the bed scenes  if “Welcome to the Jungle” pops up” Axl was almost surprised with his paternal instinct coming out like that.
He remembered when his step dad would turn off the TV whenever something he didn’t like showed up but this felt completely different, it wasn’t made out of control but rather protecting his one year old.
Thank God Paradise City’s intro started and they relaxed. London was far too young to catch on if his dada or their friends were high or drunk in that video, and also he was too focused on smiling and dancing the best he was allowed in his big chair.
“Dada! Papa!” He kept repeating whenever Slash or Axl were shown.
“Yes and also those are your uncles : Duff, Izzy and Steven.” Slash pointed them out, even if they probably would have met the baby very soon. London seemed very excited to meet them already.
They stayed for the other two songs, which thankfully weren’t too extreme for London, before he started to show his first signs of tiredness.
“I think it’s bedtime, c’mere” The guitarist picked up his child and Axl quickly followed him to the room, feeling more secure than before.
They already had changed his diaper but it didn’t seem to get any easier, always panicking a bit about if everything was okay or if they put it backwards, at least London seemed entertained by their panic.
Once they put adorable pjs on him, Slash went to put London into his crib but the baby started crying. It was understandable because even if he slept there already, this time it was darker and therefore a bit scarier for him. Slash tried to coax him, soon joined by Axl.
“Do you think I can sing him a lullaby again? Would that work?” Axl was unsure but Slash nodded and gently put London into his arms.
The redhead made sure to use his deep voice in a calming way, not dropping too low to not scare the baby even more, and it seemed to capture his attention because London stopped crying and stared at him. The more he sang the more he felt his heart melting at the sight of their baby finally relaxing. He was so small and he wanted to protect him from all the evil in the world.
Finally London fell asleep and Axl waited a few minutes before putting him down in his crib. Soon he felt two arms hugging him from behind and he turned around to face Slash, sure that his baby was safe and sound.
“You’ve been amazing today.” Slash reassured him and kissed his lips.
“I’m so scared but I want to give my 100% for him, like you will do too.” Axl said and it was his turn now to kiss Slash.
“We are going to make it. We have my mom and Duff who’s already a dad if we ever need help.”
They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes, just taking in everything and realizing they finally made it and the little creature sleeping in the crib was the living proof of that. When they decided it was enough, Slash took Axl’s hand and led him out the room to enjoy their free time before going to bed.
The singer looked one last time at his sleeping son and made a silent promise.
I’m gonna make sure you don’t experience one bit of the hurt I did.
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cowboydisaster · 1 year
Text
So… hi yall. Wanted to do a little post to check in and explain myself. The past 24 hours I have received many anons/messages asking if I deleted my posts and ao3. Short answer… yes. Yesterday I had what can only be described as an absolute mental breakdown. I hit my breaking point and I hit it hard. So amidst a full on hyperventilating panic attack I clicked a few buttons and poof- it was all gone. I'm sorry for not responding about this until now, but I wanted to wait until I was in a better state of mind to answer your questions and make some decisions. So I will explain some more and then do a Q&A from my inbox. 
I struggle a lot with mental health as is, I have frequent ups and downs, and writing and being a part of this fandom seemed to help a lot. I genuinely loved writing and finding you all. I've made some great friends and shared some great stories. But I found myself getting too immersed in my blog and in rdr2. It was unhealthy, and the more I leaned into it the worse I started to do in other aspects of my life. It started to stress me out. And although I loved writing and posting and interacting, I started recognizing more and more that my obsession was absolutely unhealthy. 
(I also want to add that I am strictly talking about my own experiences here. This was unhealthy for me. But I'm not suggesting that it's bad for everyone)
So yesterday happened to be the unfortunate day that the straw broke the camel's back… I snapped and it's gone. But don't worry, i'm not just abandoning everything, here's some answers to FAQs from my inbox today: 
Q: Did you delete ao3? Will we be able to read your fics again?? 
A: Yes, I deleted my ao3, including all of my fics. But they are saved in my Google drive. So I'm in the process of making a new ao3 account, reposting the fics you guys want and then orphaning the account. This way you guys will still have access to all my fics, but I won't be tasked with keeping up with the account. If there is a fic of mine that you would like me to upload to the new ao3 (or multiple) just submit it into my inbox and I will add it. Any fics that are not submitted into my inbox won't be posted to the ao3. You can remain anonymous if you like. A list of my fics and their summaries is provided at the bottom of this post.
Q: Are you okay? 
A: Genuinely? No. I've been trying not to lie about my feelings as of late, which is damn hard for me. I don't like talking about these things, but bottling it up sure as shit hasn't helped either. I'm not okay, but that's normal, and it's okay to not be okay. I'll be alright, I always am. Just gotta get things straightened out. 
Q: what about tfiye??
A: Oh my sweet series. This one has been weighing on my heart. I have it planned out really far and I don't think I have the heart to abandon it. As of right now, I will keep writing it and posting it to the new ao3 (once the acc has been approved and activated by ao3). I won't be posting every week like I was, but I plan on being pretty consistent with it. 
Conclusion: submit the fics you want to keep into my inbox, watch this account in about a week i'll post a link to the ao3. Again, I'm so sorry about this, loves. This information is subject to change, everything is fluid and constantly changing but for now this is the plan. Lastly, I beg you to be kind. I'm struggling and made a decision in a moment where I wasn't capable of reasoning with myself. I do not regret what i did, but I wasn't in a good frame of mind
 So please be kind, and remember i'm human too. Love you all.
Signing off- Bea
List of fics: just the more recent ones, and not including my series which is mentioned above
[  ] Aesthete: arthur x fem!reader (Arthur has a lack of inspiration and you offer yourself as a blank canvas, [nsfw])
[  ] Sleepless nights: Dutch x fem reader (Dutch helps you warm up in Colter + jealous Arthur snippet at the end [nsfw])
[  ] Princess: Dutch x fem reader (Dutch gives you the princess treatment after a rough day, modern au [nsfw])
[  ] On watch: Arthur x fem reader (Arthur is on watch and you attempt to distract him from his shift [nsfw])
[  ] Hush: arthur x fem reader (Arthur tries to keep you quiet [nsfw])
[  ] Crimson: Arthur x fem reader (Arthur helps you when your time of the month strikes at an unfortunate hour)
*if there are fics not mentioned here that you want to see, go ahead and submit them too, the name or a description of what happened in the fic will do just fine*
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daydreamgoddess14 · 10 months
Text
My bad habits lead to you pt. 6
MASTERLIST
Sequel to We lie awake in love and fear
From a prompt by @lilacmermaid25:
5 times Ted returns from Kansas for a wedding, one time he returns 'just because'.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Here we go, it's the end! One time Ted returns to Richmond 'just because'. I've loved writing this, I really, really hope you've enjoyed it. I'm so excited for you to see the ending.
Chapter 6
Ted.
He hadn’t intended it. He’d been so consumed with shutting down to avoid getting hurt - or hurting anyone else - that when Rebecca had opened her front door to him nearly two years ago and called him out on how closed off he was being, the depth of his feelings had quite literally taken him off his feet and down on his knees in front of her. He’d have happily stayed there for the rest of his life too. But he’d committed to returning to Kansas, and she’d told him clearly that it was a one night only deal. That it had continued at Beard’s wedding at Stonehenge was unexpected. He hadn’t realised that Matthijs would be leaving early, hadn’t anticipated what seeing someone else touching Rebecca would do to him. She’d been angry at Nate’s wedding, and rightly so - crowding her in the doorway of her bedroom and not telling her about Marie had been a mistake, but he couldn’t resist touching her. He understood why she’d turned up on his doorstep and took what she needed from him, her not letting him touch her had nearly killed him. They’d been in a better place at Roy and Keeley’s wedding. Determined to break the cycle that threatened to destroy their friendship. But then she’d spoken with so much love, and there was that outfit and suddenly the thought of not touching again her became too much to bear. He’d made a huge mistake in taking Marie to Leslie’s vow renewal, he knew that immediately. He’d been struggling to commit and Marie had been so insistent. He thought it could be the one thing that finally stopped him and Rebecca doing more damage to each other and to any future relationships they tried to pursue. He was wrong and she was right, as usual.
Colin’s wedding had been a revelation to him. He’d danced with her, kissed her, loved her so publicly. His room at the B&B had been abandoned. He spent three nights in her bed, three days and nights by her side making up for every hasty, illicit fuck. Three days and nights making her toes curl and pulling sighs and moans from her beautiful mouth. He could almost believe that this could be their life together. That he could do this forever. But his decision had been made two years previously, he’d chosen Henry. Granted, he’d done it with very little consultation with Michelle or Henry, but it was vital for him to be in Henry’s life. It was non negotiable. The fact that Rebecca knew that, and understood and supported it almost made it worse. He was practically breaking her heart with her knowing consent.
“Hey bud, dinner’s ready.” He called out from the kitchen. Henry stashed his Switch into the sofa cushions. Some new game hot on his mind. “Whatcha playin’?” Henry wouldn’t meet his eye.
“New Pokemon game, Becca got a Switch too and I’m showing her how to play.”
“Becca got a games console?” Ted was incredulous. 
“Yeah, so we can play. She emailed me and mom to find out which one to get.” Spring was just within grasp. He hadn’t spoken to Rebecca directly since he’d left London in the new year. 10 weeks and he was still in denial about approaching any kind of ‘new deal’ with Michelle, 10 weeks that he’d text Rebecca back, but never called her. Unwilling or unable to hear her voice pulling him back to London. “Mom said you really need to talk to Becca. She’s sad and nothing me or mom tell her is helping.”
“What exactly are you and mom telling her?”
“That we’ll figure something out. I’ve gotta finish these exams, but then mom said maybe we could move.” The boy shrugged into his pasta. Ted sat down before his legs gave out.
“I think I need to speak to your mom.” He muttered. Henry raised an eyebrow,
“Duhh, Dad.” Ted finished dinner in silence. Henry sensed not to push his dad’s mood and left him alone with his thoughts. Ted drove Henry home after dinner, his half a week over. The last few times, he hadn’t walked Henry to the door, he’d dropped him off and watched him go into the house, waving from the car. This time though, he got out and followed Henry.
“Hey guys, how’s your week been?” Michelle asked, trying to hug Henry on his way inside, the boy nearly as tall as her.
“Pretty good mom. I got Becca to level 8 at last!” Henry dodged past her, avoiding her grasp in typical teenage boy fashion.
“I know, she told me! She’s very proud.”
“And so I should be - I worked very hard on that level I’ll have you know.” Henry peered around into the sitting room to see Rebecca with her feet tucked under her on his mom’s sofa, a glass of wine in her hand and a Richmond hoodie on with her jeans.
“You’re here!” Henry barrelled past his mom and practically jumped onto the sofa into Rebecca’s arms.
"Oof, I am here! It's amazing what you can do when you have a private jet."
"You’re here. I thought Nora had banned you from using it?" Ted said, following Michelle into the room. 
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her. How are you?"
"'Bout to be ambushed by all accounts."
"The first rule of intervention is 'surprise!' - Ta da!" Rebecca joked with jazz hands. Ted didn't look overly pleased.
"I'm gonna get you a beer because I think it will help.” Michelle patted him on the shoulder before throwing Rebecca a wide eyed look once she was out of eyeshot.
“I thought it was just a few emails before Christmas?”
“It was." Rebecca started, 
"And then you came back looking like… well kinda like you look now - like you do every time your mother visits. Like you do every time you get back from a visit to London.” Michelle pushed the beer into his hand.
“I don’t understand, I-”
“Of course you don’t. Rebecca got back in touch a week or two after the new year when she hadn’t heard from you. She sounded so hurt, I asked if I could call her and we talked for a long, long time. She told me everything, Ted. She told me what’s been going on since right before you moved back and she told me what she said to you at the airport the last time you left London. And then I told her to come here."
“Why didn’t you say anything?” He looked at Michelle, then Rebecca, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why didn’t you? You made it sound - to Rebecca at least - like you were going to come back and have a discussion with me? Like we would actually talk about how the hell we ended up in this situation where you feel that you’re the one who has to give 100% all of the time. Where you think that sacrificing your love for her is some act of fucking nobility.” Ted looked intently at his beer bottle. “It’s not, by the way. It’s tragic. Henry told you himself - he told you that you are happier in London. Did you not listen to him?” Ted started to mumble. Even Rebecca looked down into her wine glass, feeling chastised. “No, no excuses. You didn’t ask, you didn’t find out if we would meet you halfway. You assumed that we wouldn’t.”
“Hey now that’s not fair, I couldn’t expect you and Henry to ditch your entire lives here because I… because I love Rebecca.”
“Why the heck not? She’s made it perfectly clear that she doesn’t just love you. She loves Henry, she’s been a really great friend to me. She’s invested not just in you but in your life, your history and your future. You need to let her show you. That's why I suggested she come here for a few days.” Michelle stood between them with her hands on her hips with Henry watching the somewhat one sided verbal tennis match. "Now, I'm gonna take Henry, we're going to the store cos lord knows Rebecca and I need more wine. You two have got an hour to talk. I mean, obviously you can carry on longer than that, but we'll be back in an hour." She gestured to Henry to get moving, "So keep your hands to yourselves." She added quietly. Ted stayed in the doorway while he heard the car reverse off the driveway. 
"And I thought I was scary." Rebecca finally looked at him with a wry smile. 
"I know, right? I can't believe you're here."
"Me either. We worked it out a couple of days ago. I hope I’m not intruding? I know you said you needed to figure it out but… well there didn’t seem to be too much of that going on.” Ted looked down again, ashamed. He remained silent for what felt like hours.
“I didn’t know how.” He admitted at last. “I know it’s so easy to see the fun and easy side - seeing how well you and Henry - and now Michelle - all get along, seeing how we are when we’re together. But what happens when it’s not easy like that? What if Hen and Michelle hated the UK? What if we don’t work out? What if I’m too much? What if I'm not enough?" His hands clenched around his beer bottle, shaking the contents so much they started to spill out from the top. Rebecca was by his side straight away, taking the bottle and replacing it with her own hands. She held both of his hands in one of hers and used her free hand to brush the hair from his forehead and stroke his cheek. 
"Breathe with me my darling, copy my breathing. Nice and steady, in…." She held his gaze, hoping he could see every ounce of love in her eyes. "... and out. And do that again for me, sweetheart. You're doing beautifully." He brought her hand up to his chest, holding it tightly. She stepped closer so they were almost nose to nose. "That's it, you've got it under control. We've got it." She didn't move until he nodded confirmation that it had passed. "I'm sorry, Ted. I'm so sorry. My being here brought that on."
"No, no. I just got carried away." He moved to sit, pulling her down next to him. He reached out to toy with the ties of her hoodie. "Never thought I'd see you in one of these." She pointed down to the name embroidered on the front above the Richmond Team logo - LASSO.
"New workwear order came in." She shrugged. "I don't want to contribute to the fast fashion epidemic, Ted."
"Sure, you're really doing your bit for the environment with that jet." He teased. 
"I can just fuck off home, you know?"
"I don't want you to do that. How long do I have you for?"
"Two days. I'm flying back on Saturday morning for the match on Sunday."
"And do you two geniuses have a plan for those two days? Or did the intervention plans stop here?"
"We did think we might be winging it from this point really, to be honest. It all depended on how well me sitting in your ex wife's house went."
"What's the verdict?"
"You haven't kicked me out yet. Or run away. Feeling better?"
"Yeah, you stopped it before it got too bad."
"You stopped it, darling, not me." He shook his head, disagreeing. 
"Where're you stayin'?"
"Is this really what you want to talk about when we have an hour alone?"
"I'm hoping for around at least 45 of your 48 hours here to be alone with me."
"Hmm wonder why." She rolled her eyes. 
"Do you think it's possible to go for one an hour?"
"One what an hour?" Ted raised his eyebrows leaving Rebecca near speechless. 
"Oh my god! Number one, we need to sleep, number two, no I don't think that's physically possible."
"I like how you clarified the sleep bit first. OK, we'll minus… 16 hours. Still leaves 29 to aim for. A solid target." Rebecca’s eyes twinkled with laughter, despite her shaking her head. 
"I distinctly recall telling you that sex was no longer on the cards until we'd decided what this is. I am standing by that comment."
"I hear ya. No arguments from me. Just to check though, does that mean I can't make you come?" Rebecca didn't have a chance to answer. Henry bombed through the door with a bucket of popcorn, Michelle was right behind with a 4 pack of beers and a bottle of wine. 
"Well, you two are the gift that keeps giving!" Rebecca hopped up off the sofa and followed them to the kitchen, turning back to Ted at the door, "Are you coming, Ted?"
~~~~~~~~~
Ted, Rebecca and Michelle got drunk in the kitchen. Once they'd finally encouraged Henry to go to bed- on the hand on heart promise that he'd see Rebecca the following day - they tucked into the wine, beer and eventually a bottle of whiskey Ted had left behind when he'd moved out. 
"I am not going to bed until we have a plan of a plan to discuss with Henry tomorrow. He'll ask, and he won't stop asking. So we might as well work out something before he starts asking." Michelle reasoned.
"I agree, this isn't something we can do in isolation but you should both have a limit on the things you are and aren't willing to say yes to." Rebecca added.
"Exactly. Like, if we did move then I have some rules around how quickly we can make that happen whereas he pretty much wants to go back with you on Saturday!"
"I have plenty of space for you both, but you have to think of yourself as well Michelle and a timing that works for you." Ted watched the women talk for a while until Rebecca noticed his silence. "Ted?"
"I'm gonna go back to my original questions - what happens when it’s not as easy as you two have planned? What if Hen and Michelle hate the UK?" Rebecca noticed he'd missed off the last few questions more specific to her and them. 
"Ted, hon, I don't think it's gonna be easy. I've barely been anywhere, I haven't done anything with my life. You had an opportunity to do something so crazily different and you took it. Now I have that chance too. So if it's not easy, then I'm ready for a challenge. We already co-parent really well - all things considered. Even more so now Jake is out of the picture. Rebecca and I get along really well. Frankly, I'll be more grateful for her support than I will for my mother's!" Rebecca raised her glass to that. "And if I hate the UK then I hate it, I'll move back - it's really no big deal. Even if I just taught for a year there it'll open up so many avenues later on back here if I need to. Henry is the perfect age to move - we'd get in right before exams and important stuff like that… Ted. Let me meet you halfway on this, please?" He nodded once. 
"Rebecca and I still need to sort some things out. But I'm not disagreeing with you. If you want to look at this seriously, then we will. We should." Michelle looked elated. She jumped up from the kitchen table to hug him before moving to Rebecca. The women embraced happily. 
"Look, even if the things that Ted and I need to talk about can't be resolved, I will still support you as much as I can with moving if that's what you want - and moving back if you ever wanted to. I'm ridiculously rich, please, please let me use my money to help you as much as I can. I want to make sure that this is as easy as possible for you and Henry, and money helps." Michelle’s eyes filled with tears. 
"I swear to god, Ted, if you don't work things out with Rebecca then I might! OK. I've had enough whiskey. I'm gonna go to bed. The guest room is all made up for you, Rebecca. I wasn't sure where you'd want to stay. Ted, if you need to sleep elsewhere then you get the couch." She shrugged, passing Rebecca with a hand to her shoulder and leaving them to it. 
"So."
"So. Looks like you need to start house hunting."
"What if I already had somewhere in mind?"
"That's great for you, but Michelle probably needs somewhere to live."
"You're agreeing with me? No questions asked? I just suggested that I move in with you and you didn't even blink?" She looked at him like he'd gone mad. 
"Ted, as far as I'm concerned there isn't a scenario here in which you move back to London and live elsewhere. Unless you don't want us to be together? Because if that's the case then you should definitely live somewhere else." Ted smiled for what felt like the first time in a long time. For the first time since spending new year in London. 
"Higgy and Julie made me realise I want a love that will last. You asked if I could see myself loving someone for 35 years. I can. It's you, sweetheart. It’s always been you and in the great tradition of you always being right, you were right about me moving back here. It hasn't made me any happier, it hasn't even made me a better father. I should never have decided alone, I should have opened up to Henry, to Michelle and I should never have left you crying in a fucking airport. You have given me nothing but your love since I told you I was leaving, since way before then, and I haven’t been strong enough to hold onto it." He moved to his knees in front of the wooden kitchen chair she sat on. She was crying, exactly as she had been the last two times he'd left her at the airport. "I'm sorry. I love you so much, baby. You make me stronger, you make me want to hold on." She slipped forwards off the chair and into his arms, kissing his tears away. 
~~~~~~~
Ted was used to waking early. Even on days he didn't have Henry, he'd still be up with the sun. In waking at 6am Kansan time, he'd known that he could speak to Rebecca right up until late afternoon when she'd have to go to bed. He could talk to her for hours if he'd wanted. He didn't, of course. There was the original awkwardness left by him leaving initially, which stilted their usual conversations. Then after Beard’s wedding it all felt a bit strained knowing that Matthijs was part of her life. She'd struggled too with Marie being in his life. By the time they were actually both single he thought it would feel even stranger to want to speak to her as much as he did. So he woke early, just to have the option. 6am with her was the very best though. In the handful of 6ams he'd seen her, she was always still sleeping. He could watch the sun track around the room, catching in her hair, on her skin. 6am Rebecca was peaceful and soft. 6am Ted could hardly keep his hands to himself. He was usually able to hold off until closer to 7am, a far more respectable hour. This morning though, in Michelle’s guest room, with the Kansan sun lighting her up, he didn't want to wait. If jetlag was anything to go by, she wouldn’t sleep for much longer anyway, and he wanted as many hours as possible with her before she had to fly back. He also had a feeling that Henry would have no trouble getting up for school this morning, unlike other mornings where Ted had to practically drag him out of his room. He traced the embroidered LASSO on her Richmond t-shirt, seeing her wearing his name was enough to make the blood whoosh through his veins.
“If you’re going to touch me up, you are allowed under my t-shirt you know.” She mumbled, eyes still closed.
“I’m a guy who seeks permission rather than forgiveness.” He replied, moving closer to her. She rolled onto her back, pulling him with her and shifting so he could lay between her legs. 
“You definitely have my permission.” She kept her eyes closed, her hands tracing up and down his back. The light touch tickled, making him shiver into her. She rolled her hips against him in response. “Sorry,” she whispered, opening her eyes a fraction, “my body does whatever it wants whenever you’re around.” He leaned down on his elbows to kiss her.
“If I ever complain about that, then I’m done for. Take me out back and-” she put a finger to his lips.
“Don’t be silly.” She smiled. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, welcome to Kansas.”
“Thanks, the view is spectacular.” He laughed, his whole body rumbled against her and she rolled her hips again. “Ted, stop it!”
“You got me to lay here. If you can’t take the heat,”
“I can take it, don’t you worry about me.” This time, she rocked her hips against his with purpose, feeling him semi hard against her thigh. “Though I’m not entirely sure that doing this in your ex wife's guest room with everyone about to wake up is a good idea.”
“Hmm. We’re not doing anything.” His hand snaked under her t-shirt and up. “Yet.” A loud knock on the door sounded,
“Hey dad! Coffees on, come down!”
“We’ll be right there, H.” Rebecca replied. “Time to move.” She looked up at Ted, wiggling against him.
“Easy for you to say. I might need a minute first.” He groaned, kissing her again. She didn’t help when she slipped out from underneath him and pulled the t-shirt off so she could get dressed. “Becca, you’re killing me.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, darling. Ready to go down?”
“Down where?” He said into the pillow. She just laughed and left him alone.
“So.” Henry looked seriously at Rebecca across the breakfast table. “What’s the plan, boss?” She smiled fondly at him.
“Let’s wait for your dad. I’m not sure if there’s enough time to talk about it all before school.” “We should be ok,” Michelle offered, “if you and Ted wouldn’t mind taking Hen then it gives us a bit more time. My school is in the opposite direction.” Rebecca nodded,
“Of course, I hope I won’t be ruining your cool credentials by taking you to school?” She teased Henry.
“Are you kidding? My friends all know you have a jet and own a whole football team! They already think you’re the coolest.”
“Is that all I had to do?” Michelle feigned hurt.
“Children are so fickle!” Rebecca laughed.
“You’re cool too mom. But you don’t get to see Jamie Tartt every day.”
“I can arrange it so that she does, if that helps.” Rebecca shrugged. “He is very cute.” She pointed out to Michelle who laughed loudly,
“He’s also a little young for me!”
“Hmm. He’s also in a bit of a throuple at the moment as well.” “What’s a throuple?” Henry asked.
“Tell you when you’re older.” Ted interrupted as Michelle turned to Rebecca with a ‘really?!’ look at the same time. Rebecca just nodded, a covert tell you later passing between them. As soon as Ted had poured coffee and sat down, Henry’s eyes were on him expectantly. “What?”
“Dad!”
“Henry, morning.”
“Good morning. What are we going to do? Can we move? Is mom coming too? When can we go? Can I join a football team? Can my friends visit in the summer?”
“Slow down buddy, slow down. Let’s take those one at a time shall we?” Henry nodded furiously. “Ok,” Ted looked at Michelle who nodded in agreement, and Rebecca who did the same, “ok. We’re going to move back.” Henry whooped - nearly launching his breakfast bowl off the table. 
“Yesss!!” He shouted, running around the table to hug them all. “I knew it!”
“Mom’s gonna come too. It’ll have to be when the school year finishes though.”
“Can I still visit for spring break? It’s only a couple weeks away!”
“Yes, we can still visit. It gives your mum a chance to have a real look around and make some plans of her own.” Henry finally calmed down a little, excitement bubbling over and infecting Michelle and Rebecca who were both giggling into their coffee cups. “There’s still a lot to work out. We need to find you a school for September, your mom wants to find a job in a school.”
“But we can work it all out together.” Rebecca added. “Someone said to me once that if you really care about someone and you’ve got love in your heart, there’s nothing you can’t get through together.”
“Someone really said that to you?” Ted exclaimed, “Man, what a cheeseball!”
“But it’s real? You’re not kidding?” “No honey, we’re not kidding. We’ve got a lot to do to get ready, but it’s gonna happen.” Michelle smiled happily.
~~~~~~
“So airport goodbyes are a little different when you’re paying the pilot, huh?” Ted joked. 
“Well, I still have to answer to air traffic control. But I don’t get shouted at by a stewardess if I’m late.”
“Have I got time to make you really late?” He mumbled against her lips quietly, pulling her in for yet another kiss. Rebecca was fairly sure her bones were still lying in the bed in his apartment. Once they’d taken Henry to school, they’d spent an all too brief 24 hours in bed and had only emerged for food. They’d taken Michelle and Henry out for dinner on Friday night, exciting plans in progress for their spring visit and for the summer move. Ted had decided to stay in Kansas until their move so he could help with the logistics of moving to a new country. Knowing that he’d be back for nearly a month in the spring and then summer being just around the corner, Rebecca happily accepted this. 
“I’m afraid not. But the good news is I’ll see you in two weeks.”
“Two weeks is too long. Hope your calendar is light because I don’t intend to let go of you while I’m there.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Ewww dad! Let Rebecca go, I want to say goodbye!” Henry all but shoved Ted out of the way.
“I’ll see you in a couple of weeks my darling. We can make a start on the Falcon.”
“Oh my gosh that is gonna look so cool!” 
“It really is! Hey, would you mind going with your dad to get me some snacks for the plane?” Rebecca asked. Henry soon ran off, dragging Ted behind him. Rebecca turned to Michelle, “I know this has all been your decision and I don’t think we’ve pushed you into anything-”
“You haven’t, you absolutely haven’t.” Michelle affirmed.
“But I still can’t thank you enough.” Rebecca’s eyes swam with tears. “You’re allowing me to join your family, Michelle, that’s not nothing.” The shorter woman took Rebecca’s hands.
“You love him so wonderfully, and so completely. You both deserve this. And I am not getting a raw deal here, I promise there is no short stick - I get to transform my whole life and do something for me for a change. Please, please don’t think that you’re selling me down the river, Rebecca. I can’t wait for this move - and I hope we can be friends?” Rebecca nodded through her tears.
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” The women hugged tightly just as Ted and Henry reappeared. Behind her, an airport representative cleared their throat. “Sounds like I might get in trouble after all.” She hugged Michelle once more, then Henry and then stepped back into Ted’s arms.
“Not long, I promise not long. I’ll be home soon.” He whispered.
“I love you. I can’t wait.”
“I love you, sweetheart. Call me when you land.” Rebecca reluctantly let him go and was led to her jet on the runway.
“Can we go on there one day dad?”
“Sure can, Hen. I bet Rebecca will let you move to London on that thing. Hey, did you know she’s got a yacht too?”
“Really?!” Michelle asked.
“Yup, maybe we could do some travelling in the summer before school starts.”
“God this move is going to be so good for us all.”
“You know it. Thanks, Michelle. I’m glad that we can still do this as a family.” She smiled warmly at Ted,
“We never stopped being a family, Ted.”
~~~~~~~
Ted looked out at the training pitch at the players running their drills. He stood by Roy’s side with Beard and Nate. In Rebecca’s office, Keeley had just arrived for a meeting.
“Everything set, coach?”
“Yep. Keeley’s upstairs keeping her busy. The lads are ready.”
“Excellent.” He turned to the stands and gestured for Michelle and Henry to come down. As he did, Leslie and Trent emerged from the building. “That everyone?”
“That’s everyone.” Nate confirmed. 
“Whistle, whistle!” Roy shouted. The team gathered in, trying to keep their excitement at low volume, welcoming Ted and Henry and nodding politely in greeting at Michelle. There was a murmur of anticipation among them, a buzz.
“Hey fellas.” He smiled at them all, talking relatively quietly. Jamie shot a look up to Rebecca’s window to check it was closed. “Good to see y’all. I’ve really missed ya. Beard told ya what we’re gonna do?” He checked. There were nods of agreement throughout. “Ok, let’s get to it.” The team scattered along with Roy, Nate and Will, Henry jumped up the steps into the stand to get a better view. “How’s it look?” Ted asked as loudly as he dared. Henry gave a thumbs up. Michelle, Trent and Leslie went to join the team on the pitch as Henry came back down the steps. “You gonna be the dot?” Henry grinned.
“”Sure dad.” He went down onto the pitch and got into position. Ted checked his watch, right on time.
“Holy shit babe, it’s getting warm. I’m just gonna open a window, yeah?” Keeley said, pushing the window wide before Rebecca could disagree. Down on the pitch, Ted saw his signal.
“Hey bosssss?!” He yelled as loudly as he could. “Boss?”
“The fuck is that?” Rebecca asked, joining Keeley by the window. “What the-” She looked down onto the pitch where all of the people she loved the most were laid out, their bodies spelling ‘Marry Me?” She could see Henry in a ball forming the dot of the question mark shaped by Trent, Michelle and Higgins. “Holy shit.”
“You weren’t supposed to be here til tomorrow!” She shouted down at Ted.
“Is that a yes?”
“Of course it’s a fucking yes, you silly man!” She took off, not bothering to put her shoes back on. She raced through the changing room and the gym to the exit doors, pushing out into the sunlight and running onto the pitch. She ran into Ted so fast that she nearly knocked them both to the grass. His hands wrapped around her waist, lifting her up and spinning her around. “Of course it’s a yes.”
“Good job I got this then?” He put her down gently, the dew on the grass soaking her feet, he got to one knee and pulled out a familiar pale pink box.
“I hope there’s biscuits in there.” She joked with a very watery smile. He opened the box and nestled among the shortbread sat a pink diamond ring.
“I reckon we’ve been to enough weddings that aren’t ours. Marry me, Rebecca?” She dropped to her knees in front of him, grass staining her skirt.
“Yes, Ted. Always yes.”
Beside them, their family jumped up from the grass and roared and cheered.
FIN
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There’s a scene that I’m just calling the orange juice scene and I can’t stop thinking about it so here’s a piece while I move scenes around in scrivener instead of writing. Gotta keep the chronology right first y’know
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Without another word, Dameron lets the back door slam behind him, and in his weakness, Hux flinches at the noise. His father would be so disappointed, and so as if to further spite him, Hux’s hand reaches with trembling fingers for the small cigarette case at the bottom of his apron. It takes him three tries to light it, but the first pull forces him to think about breathing. Between that and the nicotine, Hux can feel his head start to right itself. “Terrible fucking habit,” Solo mutters, likely to himself. As usual, Solo is incapable of reading the room. Unfortunately for him, Hux is still in a state of panic, but he’s come down just enough for fight to be his response, instead of flight. “Because property damage is so much better,” Hux cuts back. “Next time I’m teetering on the edge of a break down, I’ll be sure to just start throwing pint glasses at the wall and shouting. I’m sure I won’t get fired. That’s a thing we’re all allowed to do, right?” Solo’s eyes narrow, his hands clenching into fists. “Of course, Mr. Always in Control. How can I forget, the great and powerful Hux has never had an emotion in his life, and as such, finds all us beings will feelings to be lower lifeforms.” Standing, Hux let’s a bitter, broken laugh escape before taking another drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke into the sky and watching in float away in the flood lights. “Indeed. Before you stands the paragon of control, about to throw his dinner up onto the concrete.” Dameron should have come back with his water by now, Hux thinks. He’s not upset; if anything, he’s worried. Is the restaurant falling apart while he breaks down by the dumpster? “Are you sick?” Solo asks. “You shouldn’t have come in for your shift if there was a chance you had a food-borne illness.” “Panic attacks aren’t contagious,” Hux snaps, dropping his cigarette into the bucket of sand and kicking it to cover it. “So our guests are safe from my malady, and your precious health codes haven’t been violated.” “The health and safety of our guests is incredibly important,” Solo says, and then, “panic attack?” For a moment, Hux can feel his hands start to shake again, can feel his heart beating a little faster than it had been just moments before. As he falls apart, surely the restaurant has been lit aflame, he thinks. Finn and Dameron are spreading the story of his infirmity all throughout the servers, and he’ll be a laughing stock in some group chat he’s not in by morning. Any respect his coworkers have for him will have vanished into the ether, and in shame, so will he. “I haven’t had one in a couple of years,” he says instead, keeping his internal thoughts to himself. “I used to handle them much better, but I suppose I must be out of practice.” Looking up, he can see on Solo’s face the desire to ask, different from Dameron’s need for gossip. There’s genuine concern there, but Hux doesn’t need the manger’s kid knowing all the ways he has trouble doing his job, the various walls and coping mechanisms he’s constructed out of duct tape and nicotine. “It’s nothing important. I’m sorry to have bothered your tantrum, but I can’t ask my coworkers to cover my slack any longer, so I really must return to my tables.” Hux watches a flash of rage die, as if he’s finally beginning to see through Hux’s bullshit, and isn’t that a terrifying thought. Ben Solo, being fully aware that Hux’s personality, his cutting remarks and his dry wit, are a lie. If he is unlikeable, he never worries about how people perceive him. He’s simply the bastard. “You should drink some orange juice,” Solo says. “It always used to make me feel better, after mine. Something about the sugar, I think?” Not trusting himself to speak, Hux nods, opening the door and heading back inside the restaurant. For the rest of the night, he’s sure to avoid Solo, eager to avoid any further conversation about his incident. Finn and Dameron, though they eye him with concern, appear to have kept the details of why Hux was pulled off the floor to himself. Phasma won’t stop looking at him, no doubt having noticed that he’s camping in the server alley, hiding from an entire half of the restaurant, lest table 23 spend a second too long looking around and connect his face to his name. Hux chooses not to meet her eye, sipping his orange juice instead and staring into the middle distance.
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nokingsonlyfooles · 7 months
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It follows you...
Yep. There it is. Bound to happen. This is still not as bad as Arizona - which, my followers should know, I fled due primarily to the concentration camps for tots, but this BS was ramping up as I got out and continued after I left. And, yes, the "children are identifying as kitty-cats" lie, baby-talk and all, has made its way here too.
Do you want to know why there's cat litter in some US classrooms, Canada? Because I know, and I'll tell ya.
It's so they can make an emergency bucket toilet in the event of a lockdown during a shooting. Children in the States go to school every day knowing they may die in any number of fun ways, and being shot is just one of them. To make them - and the rest of us - feel a bit better about that, ha-ha, we tried to make an absorbent material available for them to pee in while they're waiting for an active shooter to break down their door and kill them.
Now, you have much less of a gun problem, Canada, but that's a goal you can shoot for if you so desire! Ha-ha! I don't know what it is about the disintegration of American conservativism and the Republican party and democracy itself you find so attractive, but if you feel like you need that in your culture, you can have it! Your system has similar vulnerabilities to exploit! Adopt, adapt and improve!
We knew that, probably, we weren't going to find a safe place to land, just a relatively safer one. It's been good for me. I am finally getting healthcare - though it took a shitton of luck and perseverance. And I'm gonna need even more of it to keep fighting for a space for myself and others like me.
Canada, you are repairing the broken body of an anarchist who is willing to burn property and politicians to the ground to protect people. I don't want to show up to a protest and take attention away from others who need it by having a health emergency, so I'm relatively quiet right now. That will change (if my luck holds!). And, by god, you couldn't resist giving me a reason to get back out there, couldja?
Nobody is bothering to attack these "no gender or sexuality in school" liars on the basis of language. Which, inasmuch is they're trying to pen legislation, is the only way to go. If they get what they say they want, cis and het need to go in the trash right next to everything queer. That's... most of the curriculum. Everything referring to boys and girls, moms and dads, even the concept of children (where do children come from, again?). If nothing else, that should be rejected on the basis of how expensive it is.
But everyone in politics and the media seems willing to accept the comfortable fiction that cisgender isn't a gender and heterosexuality isn't a sexuality. It's implicit that we're only having a conversation about whether or not to teach the weird ones, but that is not what these people are saying. The protest signs and the rules and laws they write do not make exceptions. Well, that would look like discrimination! Because IT IS, motherfuckers.
I'm not ready to get out there and start making noise yet. I still got medication woes. Increasing the estrogen dented the amount of thyroid I'm able to absorb - as expected. I'm doing a little Flowers-for-Algernon and monitoring my symptoms so I can give the thyroid guy more information, probably I'll get back to him next week.
May I add that my hormone specialist does not deal with estrogen at all because, although it is a hormone, estrogen is gendered? I have to go to the lady doctor to manage my lady hormone, and then run back to the other guy for the rest of me. Conservatives, I would support a little less gender in society, if that was really what you wanted. I have a vested self-interest here.
Gotta make at least one more lap - gynecologist to endocrinologist and back - and then we'll see. Fingers crossed for a new angry NB in the new year! In the meantime, Godspeed to everyone out there trying to make a difference for the better.
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I was tagged by @magic-ace in this post where they wanted me to answer all of them, so here it is:
🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats
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🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?
A classic tale of "my favorite character didn't get enough screen time" led to this.
🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love
🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?
Give it a 5. I don't mind it but it's difficult to focus on the proofreading side of it.
🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis
🔥🔥🌞🔥🔥
🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?
@magic-ace @mecha-milkers @i-am-an-omen
🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love
I haven't finished it, but Descent by Zakharie.
💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?
Zero.
🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis
@brockendrems
🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?
Original characters. Reader inserts aren't for me.
🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before
I will share one of my favorite taekwondo stories from many years ago because I think it is funny. Two different short dads I was sparring with managed to accidentally nail me in the face with the same kick on two different occasions, months apart. (You cannot hit the face in taekwondo but going for a headshot it happens a lot.) The first time miraculously didn't knock out any teeth but my upper lip got stuck in my braces and I had to rip it out while laughing maniacally. I looked like a corpse for weeks. The second time was straight in the nose, so my nose is still slightly crooked and makes a crunchy noise if I wiggle it to this day.
Both of the dads felt terrible but I was a teenage boy so I thought blood on my uniform was cool.
The "short dad curse" was real for a bit there and the only reason it hasn't continued is because I am now the short dad myself.
🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?
I don't have this problem.
🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings
Knock Out and Breakdown roughhouse a lot.
🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?
Reblog my shit with silly tags.
🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now
I'm learning to animate, which is cool.
I'm feeling a little more hopeful about finishing my degree.
My friends are wonderful.
📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?
I don't use the notes app.
🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character
I know better than to share that on this hellsite.
🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?
Typical murder-related writing searches.
🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on
I got a small notebook to write tasks in, things I've done, what and when I ate, etc. This has been very helpful for memory loss and blackouts.
❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?
Don't have one, but one of these days I want to write something more hopeful, something along the lines of a 2010s-era superhero cartoon but as a novel. Don't have a plot for that one yet. It's rotating in my head, though.
🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity
One of the best pieces of writing advice I ever heard was "give yourself permission to suck." When you sit down to write you can't be fixated on making it perfect the first time. All your first draft has to do is exist. Anything you write down you can change later, but you gotta get it down first.
🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh
My roommate and I keep saying "inch resting" and "ingredience" to each other.
🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?
Any.
🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate
He makes admittedly funny puns. That's it. That's all I'm giving Silas.
🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told?
I don't lie except for safety.
🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately
Grief.
🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?
A few.
🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing
Don't give my characters enough time to "rest"--it's one crisis after the other. That's the way I like it but someone get em therapy what the hell
🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?
It depends what kind.
🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here
She barely made it halfway down to the gallows before something slammed into her, knocking her into the side of the building and shattering a line of windows. The crowd gasped and looked up, and then all Suncatcher could see was shadows and broken glass and the gun someone shoved into her face.
“If you can’t sit back and watch nicely,” Crossfire said, “then you can’t watch at all.”
“Go to hell,” Suncatcher said, and the blades on her forearms snapped out and stabbed into Crossfire’s midsection.
☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?
Thought ShortCircuit would be a good pen name for Transformers fanfic. It eventually became a new pen name overall, though I still use NobleRunaway in other spaces.
🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them
@magic-ace @mecha-milkers @i-am-an-omen I love you guys so much. May your pancakes always be fresh.
🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them
So remember when I answered one of these with "grief"
🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it
This doodle of Knock Out because it speaks to me.
🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?
I wrote an entire rant and deleted it because the internet can't read. But there is something and it falls under mischaracterization.
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winderlylandchime · 7 months
Note
3/3 ‘This hurts, this is really fucke- that’s a really nice shirt, do you think i could find something like that, i think id look good in it. Anyway *waves his hands at Brian* PAINFUL’ he is now bouncing up and down and standing with his hands clasped waiting for Mikey to get punched ‘cmon!! Who cares about some fucking forks?! SHOW ME WHAT IVE BEEN WANTING TO SEE SINCE THE PILOT! Whats gonna get him punched tho? I forgot what I thought earlier..OH the stay away. Oh Brian doesn’t look happy about that. *another pause while he towers over me with hands on waist and pointing at Brian*okay BUT remember when he told Justin in season 1 to fuck off out of his life or some shit like that and now he’s all ‘why would you tell him that?’ GROWTH! LOVE! CARE! *looks at Brian* my man! Now let’s get to punching! Okay, he did do SOMETHING..he cheated.. can Justin hear him? Is the selfish lil shit gonna get him punched? Cause if so…i wouldve gotten my ass handed to me by now, HE DIDNT USE BRIAN! brian is mad! Yes Michael be quiet! *huge gasp* HE SAID WHAT NOW?! *arms in the air* HELL YEAHHH PUNCHED IN COLOR!!! BUT HOLD UP *pauses just as mikey gets hit* haha nice. HE SAID WHAT?! HE FUCKING SAID WHAT?!?! He did not just say that he should’ve died?! He deserves to get kicked too! PLEASE TELL ME EVERYONE HEARD HIM! Oh of course nobody heard him. ANIMAL?! ANIMAL?! YOUR KID JUST WISHED DEATH ON SUNSHINE! OH BEN YOU BETTER NOT! HE JUST WISHED DEATH ON SOMEONE! PUNCH HIS BORING ASS TOO! OH FUCK YOU LINDSAY! FUCK YOU TOO MEL! ITS MICHAEL WHO SHOULD LEAVE! DID DEBBIE JUST SAY ASSHOLE? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! JUSTIN PLEASE TELL ME YOU HEARD HIM!’ He paused the tv and with his arms opened wide went ‘am i the fucking only one who heard him say that?! HOW did nobody else hear it? *looks at me* please tell me everyone finds out what happened! Cause this shit is fucked up, i cant even appreciate the punch anymore cause I’m mad at everyone’ ‘NO BRIAN! Why are you here? You better not apologize! He needs to apologize! Oh boo fucking hoo little mikey is playing the victim again. YOU DESERVED TO GET HIT YOU LIL BITCH! Tell him Brian! Okay nevermind he knows he deserved it, EVEN MICHAEL KNOWS YOURE IN LOVE! So you didn’t believe in love when you met him, but you do now because now you know him. *looks at me* like how I didn’t believe in santa until i saw him at the mall…but then mom couldn’t explain why he was always different races so i guess that’s different. Makes sense to me tho *plays ep* HE WANTS THEM TO MAKE UP?! For the comic?!?! I AM…..i am having a lot of thoughts and feelings. HE HAS PLANS! THE LAST TIME HE SAID THAT TO MIKE JUSTIN WAS WAITING FOR HIM WITH THE DINNER!! REMEMBER?!?! Maybe Justin is waiting for him to talk to him about Mike!’ The hustler scene comes up *jumps up in the air* ‘AHHHHHHH!!!*pauses ep* I WAS FUCKING RIGHT!!! I CANT BELIEVE I WAS RIGHT! Not gonna lie, most of the time i just say shit and hope something sticks BUT I WAS ACTUALLY RIGHT! MY BLONDIE IS BACK!!! (The hustler is revealed) you’re not my blondie. What is this?! *hands over his mouth while he’s still standing* IS HE WHAT HES LOOKING FOR?! BRIAN LOOKED FOR A SEX WORKER THAT LOOKS LIKE JUSTIN?! (brian ignores the kiss) *literally has teary eyes and boy, do I wish this was a joke* he isn’t kissing him! He’s still following the rule! (brian plays with the guys hair) He misses him so much. Neither of us are okay with this storyline….how many condoms do you think he has..im surprised durex isn’t one of his account, he’d be perfect for their ads since they’re always funny anti kids ads. How many condoms do you think they went through while filming? hold up, I didn’t appreciate it enough *rewinds the fucking scene and once again has teary eyes while watching* it’s the music and Brian’s expression. I could literally write a short essay about Bri as a person at this point, that’s how well I know him! Oh this all hurt. I gotta go somewhere, literally anywhere just away from *points to tv*’ He is now outside talking to my neighbor and giving her a dramatic recap.
He wants Brian’s shirt? Aw!
GROWTH! LOVE! CARE! See!?! Yes! Brian grows over the course of the show! He cares! OMG. (Until it’s all erased in S5)
And here’s the heartache. Michael deserved to be punched and no one hears what he said so…again… everyone blames Brian. And Brian… apologizes. Because he would let himself get burned if it means everyone else is okay.
Ohhh the parallel “I have plans” yeah this time it’s a cheap imitation (cheap as in it’s not Justin, I’m sure the escort was not cheap)/
Teary eyes about Brian not kissing the Justin look-alike escort? And noting the playing with the hair? Could he be anymore in the fandom?!? Nope.
“I could literally write a short essay about Bri as a person at this point” ANON YOUR BROTHER IS A HALF STEP AWAY FROM WRITING FANFIC.
Your poor neighbor…
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cherryjuixce · 1 year
Text
OC x Simon Ghost Riley
A/N
Hello everyone! I'm so excited to share with everyone this story i thought about a lot. I wanna warn you all first that this is the first ever story I wrote and I will accept every advice or criticism you guys give me to be better at writing :D
English sadly is not my first language so I'm sorry if you find some grammar mistakes :')
Feel free to send asks about the story and about the character, I will probably do a separate post on getting to know the OC or something, but for now enjoy this little Prologue i wrote<3
Warnings: mention of blood, guns, slight violence and swearing.
Everything in Italics is the past.
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Blood.
I absolutely hated it. The smell that it has, and the fact that i would see it everyday. You think that by now I would get used to it, but no i couldn't stomach it.
My leg was already killing me, but i couldn't stop running. As soon as i heard that scream i hadn't stopped running. Heavy breathing and sweaty as hell but i wouldn't give up now, i just couldn't.
"Red do you copy?" said Price through the comms. The last thing I heard before that was when he said that the safe house we were all staying in had blowed up, the safe house my son was staying in.
"Red! I said do you copy?!" he yelled now. I wanted to answer him, I really did. But i couldn't focus on anything else besides getting to that safe house.
Then I felt something sharp pierce my left hip. "Fuck!" I screamed. I fell to the ground holding my hip with my hands and keeping the blood pressure.
no no no no- I had to get to that safe house. I loaded the pistol that was in my hand and shot the person that injured me. I started running again but i was even weaker than before.
"Red. Status. Now." Price said in a stern voice.
"Injured sir." my voice was hollow and in desperate need for water, I slowed down and fell on my knees because I started seeing dark spots.
"Stay where you are, we're sending medical."
I crawled to the nearest building and sat behind it.
"Captain..please tell me he's alive" i asked in a broken voice.
There was silence from the other side of the comms. "Price!" I yelled, desperately.
"We gotta get you healed Red, don't move and stay where you are. That's an order sergeant."
...
I opened my eyes and was met with a view of a sunset. I thought about how long I was asleep. "We're landing soon." Laswell approached me and said. I hummed and stared back at the tiny airplane window.
"Are you excited to see the guys again?" I sighed, "Well only Price because i only know him" A small smile formed on my face but quickly disappeared after reminding myself of the dream i had earlier.
Only i wish it was a dream, but unfortunately it was another memory from the life i abandoned long ago.
Laswell's eyes softened and she placed her arm over mine. "I'm proud of you for coming back Scarlett, Price is so thrilled to see you again."
I smiled again "Thank you" my voice was quiet but enough for her to hear it. I can't lie that I was anxious about coming back to the field, only this time not as a soldier.
"They never found his body, did you know that?"
I was met with silence, Laswell cleared her throat a little bit.
"I know-" "For all we now he could still be out there Kate. Alone and scared.. what if-"
"Scarlett that was three years ago." She shut me up quickly. I turned my head to look at her, not even noticing the tears prickling my eyes.
"I'm sorry but you know we did everything to find him, the possibilities of him being alive now are so low" She stared at me with pity.
I breathed in and tried to calm myself. "I'm sorry, i shouldn't be talking about it anymore"
I turned my head back to the window again, I had to be calm and collected and not show a hint of weakness to anyone anymore. And i shouldn't be sad in front of Price, I feel like he was done with my breakdowns by now.
---
The cold air was so refreshing and needed as I was leaving the airplane. As soon as I turned to Kate to take my bag i felt something heavy and warm on me.
"Bloody hell Scarlett, who told you it was a good idea to wear a leather jacket in this weather?"
I jumped a bit when i heard the deep voice only to see Price putting his jacket on me.
"Price!" I smiled and practically jumped on him while he was laughing at me. "Hey kid, good to see you again"
I looked at him again and couldn't stop smiling, he patted my head meanwhile messing up my hair.
We haven't seen each other in so long it felt so euphoric to see him again. "As much as I don't wanna ruin your moment, Price it would be nice of you to help with the bags" Kate yelled from behind us.
"Ah right- hey Red" Red. "Welcome back." Price smiled and jogged a little bit to Kate. I watched him from a far that nickname still in my mind, let's hope he doesn't call me that again or else I'm gonna throw up.
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