#i dont want to live like this

[squishymain]

Why do people make it so hard for me to want to live

#depression #depressing shit #this is depressing #depressing life #sorry for being depressing #i dont want to wake up #i dont want to live anymore #i dont want to exist #i dont want to live #i dont want to live like this #i dont want to live here #i dont want to live on this planet anymore #depressed #kinda depressing #depressing

[forthwtaintedsorrow]

I feel like it is not enough. I am not enough. other boys are tall and muscular and pretty and I am just short and .. when I am looking at the mirror I don't see a girl, I see a boy on there but the others says don't have the exact thoughts on me. a few days ago I was just sitting and suddenly somebody called me a girl. my friends were sitting with them so they probably told them I am a girl? but I am a boy. I am. I look like a boy too, I guess. everyone says I look like a boy but it is not enough. my hair is short like really short. I shaved my hair about one month ago. my clothes? I look like a fifteen year old boy lol. but I am short and my voice is. but I didn't talk. I didn't say anything for them to hear my voice. i want to be enough. what do I need to do seem as a boy? when can I be enough?

#ftm trans #trans man #transgender #ftm dysphoria #i hate my body #i dont want to live like this

[mikarchive2]

any time the point of assignment is like 'present your original ideas' or 'make people interested in what yr saying as if you were selling a product' my brain shuts off i think i am good at studying but this is horrible and nonsensical to me and college seems to be all about it . feeling deeply unhappy

#i dont want to live like this #🌺

[hmsmilkbone]

.

#so i am officially immunocompromised #which means i of course immediately got sick #im on antibiotics but theyre either not working or making things worse #i feel awful #just yesterday i felt fine #i hate this #im so scared im going to die because of some random infection #that i ordinarily would have been able to overcome #im not doing the injections ever again. fuck that #i dont want to live like this

[norafallout4]

Y’all ever just break down crying in your bed for hours for no apparent reason?

#pleasehelpme #me irl rn #i dont want to live like this #cant take it anymore

[hit-the-dirt-and-get-back-on]

I'm so tired of the body aches and being completely exhausted.

#im in pain #my body hurts #im 25 #i dont want to live like this #im exhusted #this is me #this is my diary #dear diary

[all-doggirls-go-to-heaven-2]

.

#I dont want to live anymore #i dont want to live like this #its hellish all the time #ill be 23 this year #fucking 23 #soon the its ok youre still young excuse is gonna dry up #nothing good ever fucking happens #not to my friends not to me #happiness is so fleeting I'm almost sad whenever I start feeling happy bc I know the moment will be gone #I smile and say things abt the future with my girlfriend knowing full well I'll probably die before we ever get the chance to get there #i used to fool myself that it would be the smoking #but its probably gonna be suicide #theres just no escaping it #and even if I finally off myself ill make the people that depend on me horrible #my girlfriend is gonna suffer my wife is gonna suffer my friends are gonna suffer #so i gotta keep on suffering so I dont disappoint them #working myself down to the bone to achieve nothing and become nobody #why the fuck did I wver think I could be somebody #im such a fucking idiot

[avibero]

-

#idk how to communicate to my parents #my mom specifically #that i have been actively suicidal again because i am so burnt out #i am trying so hard to do things that spark joy but goddamn it i just #and she says 'well maybe everyones tired from work all the time' #if everyone's tired of work whats the point of being alive #i dont want to live like this #how do i communicate that i am trying to find a way out because my alternative is dying #my alternative is not just 'being a little sad' #it is dying #but she doesnt ever get it #how to communicate you are being serious about how close you are to just dying because living is so so SO FUCKING HARD #i may have cried out of frustration again today #her solution to my being burnt out is to work harder #when i dont have anything left to give #idk man it sucks when youre trying to find a way out of Pain Cavern That Actively Makes You Want To Die #but ppl tell you maybe you're just being dramatic #because 'everyone has it bad' #im just #what do i even do here

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

K so things are worse than I thought lol

#depression posting #so uh #i just had an incredibly strong urge #to just like. down all the meds i have in the hope that MAYBE theyd be enough to kill me lol #and. the only way i was able to fight it was k but what if they dont tho. what if you fail again. remember how awful that was #i just...christ #i dont want to live like this #i want to flip an off switch #why isnt there just an easy button i can press

[4r0m4nt1s]

Today is a really bad pain day

#i dont want to live like this

[girldraki]

#oh my god????? #txt #STOP FOLLOWING US!!! WE DONT POST LIKE THIS. WE POST JFK RPF #'blah hah hah and everyone clapped' don't you want to live in a world of beauty? with us? #‘why can’t i reblog this?’ Because trads started going He dodged a bullet in our notifications

[czterysta]

i feel anxious abput something and my stomach is doing thw thing when im scared or in a public place or before a Rollercoaster and i dont know whyyyyy

#this is Kindergarten level of emotion recognition #i dont want to live like this

[forthwtaintedsorrow]

here I am sitting in the bathroom and planning my suicid3 and they are laughing like nothing happened

#su1cide #su1c1d4l #selfharn #i dont want to live anymore #i am so tired #i dont know what to think #i am really tired #i dont want to live like this

[evelyn-princeofmelancholy]

.

#i dont want to live like this #im so fucking tired #i dont want to live but i dont want to miss out being loved #im a fucking coward #a mistake #not brave enough to kill myself not enough to live #i just want to not wake up #i dont want to be alone #im so lonely

[perfectlyripeclementine]

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

#nonbinary love #nblnb yearning #nb4nb #nblnb #wholesomeposting #yearning hours #ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense #so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me” #and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc #but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership #i think about this mostly in terms of ecology #and relation to land #but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers #like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs #but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while #and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well #when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else #its understood i just mean the city where i live #so why cant we apply the same to lovers? #mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again #ok #done now

[transsexualanarchy]

i keep fucking up every relationship I have, it doesn't matter whether it's platonic, romantic or familial I always fuck it up somehow and its just a matter of time until I stop talking to those people all together

#vent post #depressing shit #i dont want to live like this