#i dont know if this is coherent. but its important to me

[zephyrusreturns]

autigender huh.

mans went to the social meetup thing because humans need social contact and all that jazz. and people were sharing their stories and something started chewing at the back of my mind until i was most of the way home.

ive always had this sense of internal gender. its not changed over time. ive always had a box thats Me. its not What I Want To Be- its just. a part of what i am. it informs how i present myself, and how id like my body to look and function. to some extent this is affected by external stimulus- know the rules so you can break them.

mostly, its affected by how i see the rest of my self. i cant present exactly how i want to right now because i have tits, etc.

and its. my access and relationship to this box has changed over time- my level of engagement, and to some extent my ability to engage with it.

because the thing i realized, that im processing now, is that i put my parents box of what i should be before my own. for all of it. presentation, career, ALL of it.

and i could have objected, i could have put myself first. and perhaps it wouldve hurt in different ways- more fights, more pushback, feeling more like myself, more self hatred, less passivity.

but i didnt. and i dont mean this in a "oh you couldnt have you were a kid" self deprecation spiral- no, limited agency is not NO agency, despite not being FULL agency- i could have, and i didnt, and i cannot change that, and i regret it.

i regret that i didnt push back on my mothers clothing opinions, disagreeing for the sake of it. i regret that i didnt take my grandmothers offers on bday shopping trips to get myself cooler clothes i LIKED. i regret that i did not live for myself, by my own standards, that young.

so. gender. my box has never been easily defined by Boy or Girl. its not boy, or girl, or "or" or nonbinary or agender or multigender or pan or bigender or any of the niche attachments to elements or objects or creatures or ideas- except maybe autism.

i want to be seen as a man, just casually wearing a dress. but im no man. im just some guy. i only have titles if theyre funny.

my identity is made of wants- what i find desirable in the world, what i find uncomfortable, what i want for myself, what i want gone. theres no pinnacle of masculinity or femininity or androgyny i aspire to. i want to be me- but that goes beyond my gender.

my gender is top surgery and testosterone. its cool patterns and weird v-necks and button ups without stiff collars. its spinny skirts and long dresses and pockets. its backpacks and short messy hair and dying tshirts with onion peels and vinegar in the bathtub. its very specific socks and worn in shoes i havent replaced in years. its doing gymnastics and weightlifting and sprints and karate. its eating whenever i want because i like to eat, and making faces at how inconsistent sizing is everywhere. its wearing sleeves long enough to flop over my arms. its scars and contacts and chains on my glasses. its bitten down nails and unshaved legs and people using they for me by default. its speaking with my weird queer lilts and jumping around high and low intonation based on my emotional state. its mastering a smirk that makes my partner beg me to stop because its too creepy. its smearing makeup on purpose and painting rainbows and fire and snake scales out of eyeshadow and lipstick.

my gender is intimately tied to my sense of self, my sensory needs and preferences, and my... sense of indulgence, is the closest i can get.

and my relationship to that changes. do i feel safe? how safe? what do people assume about me as i am? what do i want them to think? i dont know if ill want any bottom surgeries. i think i might, but i want to see how top changes things for me first.

just. wanting to be seen as a man by default right now isnt the same as being a man.

#personal #trans ramblings #i dont know if this is coherent. but its important to me #and i wanted to share it somewhere #so now im taking a nap #and ignoring the annoying voice of my partners uncle #its likely annoying because im dehydrated but he also seems to be on his soapbox and not willing to listen to other perspectives about it #nah im rankled cuz it seems like he might be dismissing my partner over his age. stupid shit #right. naptime. i dont have to engage with his justifications and platitudes and put downs #none of this behavior is new so it doesnt serve any purpose to me

[caffeinatedopossum]

Yknow... I've spent so long focusing on me- what *I* want, what *my* reason for being alive is, that I think I completely forgot I can never separate my life from others- no matter where I look, other people are always at the core of what's important to me. Like yknow what? Maybe I don't want to be alive, maybe I don't see the value in life and it means nothing to me- but other people do. Other people *want* to live, for reasons that I simply don't have. And I think if me dying, or just trying to explain to explain how I think and feel even, would make that worse for someone else, then I don't want to. Because they deserve to keep the things that matter to them. Because I don't have a lot of faith in the meaning of life or hope that I'll have a happy future... but what I do have is faith in other people. Even if I shouldn't, I do and I'm not sorry for it.

#even if all ill ever get from other people in the end is disappointment #at least disappointment isnt the worst thing that life can throw at me #maybe if it happens- if when the day comes that i have to die and every last person has let me down- maybe ill have to accept it #but until that happens i wont accept it at all #ive already been let down by too many people to count. by stranger who dont even know I exist #and i know all of you readjng this have too. if anyone is reading this #but maybe i havent... maybe one of you has faith in me. and maybe thats enough to make it not matter how shitty other people are sometimes #because i know thats true for me. i look up to a handful of people and thats so important to me #idk... this feels egotistical. i doubt im anyones source of hope like that. but who cares #this train of thought doesnt feel complete but i know from oast experiences that if i have even the slightest sort of #*positive* breakthrough then i have to write it down IMMEDIATELY while im still feeling the feelings of it #otherwise I'll never be able to grasp the concept again #so i hope this serves its purpose even if its not the most coherent post 😅

[herequeerexitentialfear]

i love it when shit happens in my life that dredges up old wounds and coincidentally im re-experiencing the media i intrinsically link it to cause then i get to remember exactly why i love it and find it so meaningful all over again. there's a fucking reason ill always say Berserk [& RGU] both came into my life at a perfect fucking time and holy shit they fucking resonated with me so hard and as much as life can suck ass and lovvves kicking me in the balls when ive just recovered from last time i a least get to remember how & why i love something so much.

#thebirdspeaks #ive been trying to make a coherent post about Berserk and specifically the duality of Casca and Guts as victims post eclipse #because there are issues but also it resonates so well with me regardless #i cant word it pretty but i think its something about Casca and Guts both being victims and responding in opposite ways #and because they are so tightly linked you can almost see them as one victim experiencing the duality of victimhood #as an internal struggle made into two separate people #i flip flop between who i relate to more in relation to my own trauma #and there is plenty to criticize with the writing choices around Casca dont get me wrong #but as much as people criticize her mind breaking and turning into a shell of herself that needs constant help as something entirely negati #i sure as fuck was not given that space and care to be broken #its very nuanced but i think so few people write victims sympathetically that as much as turning into a mess can appear overdone #being cared for and given space and help and being allowed to be a burden is a powerful thing #and i find the expectation to be strong in the face of what you went though is much more common and damaging to me #anyway as many issues as i have i think Casca being allowed to be a victim as much a she was is why i love Berserk so much and while i thin #it could be better if some things were changed #but im not sure if it would have hit as hard and meant as much to me when i was wobbling between mindless rage and want for revenge #and just being broken and tired and weak and scared #reading Guts protect Casca like he did #showed me that that part of me could protect and is better off channeling the mindless rage into protecting whats important to me and what #needs it #letting me demand protection and love and sympathy for my weakest self in my darkest hours #i know im far from objective & my opinions are not universal #but the fact Casca is allowed to be a victim so fully and not just a hashtag girlboss who struggles her way out #well i wouldn't call Guts a girlboss but actually i think that's why it worked. #because between the two they cover the two ends of the common depictions of victimhood: forced to stay strong and allowed to be weak #anyway im about to hit tag limit i love you f you read this far and if you think this is horseshit then please don't say #if you think im right and sexy about it pile the love on meee<3

[isdalinarhot]

the only reason im not a kalmoash stan is that when i was in high school i had a boyfriend that i met on. god i think it was discord but we knew of each other on bpd tumblr. you know. the shit show that was 2017 bpd tumblr. anyway long story short he tried very hard to get me to join in a suicide pact with him and said all sorts of edgy emo depressed teen nonsense like "youre the only one that makes me feel anything :(" and shit like that. so vyre hits a little bit too close to home for me lmao like i know when brandon sanderson wrote vyre he probably was drawing inspiration from input from suicidal people talking about what negative self-talk they used to justify killing themselves but the thing is that he accidentally made my stupid ass ex boyfriend and thus i lack the capacity to get really into him and kaladin kissing with tongue

#i dont think Our Relationship as a whole was very much like k*lmoash because i was pretty goddamn horrible to him too #like i think i probably treated him worse than he treated me #but its enough for me to go you know what im gonna abstain from row k*lmoash yknow? yknow #i dont hate m*ash during row i hate brandon sanderson for doing that to him #like i dont think it coheres to his story arc up to this point #and like i refuse to hate m*ash ever because everyone who hates m*ash hates him for stupid ass reasons #and the shit v*re does is not anywhere near the worst shit that people have done in stormlight. lmao. hes small potatoes hes not importance #censoring everything so it doesnt show up in the tags. i dont fucking want drama #luke.txt

[ei-mugi]

my main hurdle with my dcaf fic is my depression but my 2nd task-related hurdle is not knowing what eichi should be doing at my ambiguous and butchered chosen place in time--- nvm see the notes

#i already fucked up the start of checkmate but its fine the details dont have to be perfect #its so early on i can write a way around that. who cares #whats important is that it stays like thematically coherent. and characterisation needs to be consistent #but also liiike. whats----------- oh. #okay. i just thought of a solution to my problem #thats really easy why didnt i think of this months ago #ok im gonna write that down somewhere for after i finish my BB fic #and then several yaers down the line once i have a nicely wrapped and finished dcaf i can rewrite the whole thing to make it #accurate-er to the canon timeline of events. making a timeline just isnt fun to me sorry #the goal with dcaf wasnt to make it perfect it was to make it done yknow #i wanted to prove to myself i could write a longfic (or medfic at least) & that i could have a bare minimum satisfying narrative #so staying entirely true to canon isnt high on my priority list #learn how to make the thing THEN learn how to make it well u get me #i love roleplay but ive never done a whole lot of individual writing lol #i still need to reread those reminiscence events though... sigh... and ideally fluff out with some other stories too #i gotta manage my expectations on what i know im able to get done tho. sad but true #thank god i actually wrote notes when i was reading rocket start #i started writing notes when i started obbligato too tho im not far into that yet ive got other stuff to do #im totally distracted ok wrapping post up now

[cescalr]

Bc I believe in multiversal minecraft theories all mcytrp storylines are canon. All of them. This is horrid on a number of levels. That's all I have to say bye

#mcytrp #just. terrible. yogsmc scu dsmp bloodlines dominion empires hermitcraft and simgleplayer like chimneyswift batclone legundo fixxit theyre #ALL CANON. ALL OF THEM ALL THE TIME. including the ones i dont know abt theyre just mostly irrelevant to me specifically. yk this happened #but it wasnt important to x's story so it was never mentioned type shit #imagine me. trying to wrangle all these fucking timelines. and with the constant lurking background of theyre All Canon. brain is just. no. #why do i have to like multiversal minecraft. whyyyyy #(i have my own mc storylines in my brain so. ocs. lol.) #(no coherent timelinr for them either which i think is apt on brand and doesnt need changing.) #(false. im working on it im working on it) #(my yogs timeline is wilfully ignorant of the series i didnt watch theyre just shoved wherever other people tend to put them sorry gang.) #if i have not mentioned it (dsmp fwhip etc) either i know it and forgot or i dont know it and not knowing it is irrelevant because #its. STILL. CANON. #whyyyyyyyy did i do this. what made me think this was a good idea. (oh yeah. crossovers. fuck hermitpires so much for this. you gave #me brainrot look what youve done)

[mothmvn]

the conclusion from these holidays is the cruelty of the world built before me, where the objective emotional core of a person's life - the people they are close to - is not prioritised by the systems we are forced to live in, is instead treated as an afterthought that you have to eke out time for around the TRUE systemic core of needing to get money

#i dont have any ambitions i want to live my life with my family and my friends close by and eat warm meals and help people around me #and this is SPOKEN OF very highly but TREATED like an unimportant trifle that you have to just get over if you want to live a serious life #there should be more weight given to these things. the world should be simpler. there should be more time for emotional cores #im not only saying this because my grandma died its also because after her 'funeral' we had a huge sitdown dinner with all our friends here #''it's so incredibly nice to see you all; it's a shame that this is what brought us together tonight'' said every person there at some poin #our neighbours talked about mariupol; they have to keep living a coherent life here while their home city is demolished - how is that fair? #her parents are in mariupol right now; another family friend's parents are in berdiansk; and these people have to keep earning money here #i think this break in my mind happened when the 2022 war started: How Can I Be Expected To Just Keep On Going When THE WAR Is Going On #how can the upkeep of this overall system be forcibly positioned as more important than people's home or parents or friends #i dont know. i dont want to sound like an anarchist or a wannabe hermit/commune dweller. it just feels wrong and it makes me sad #personal

[lemmetreatya]

i’m sorry but i just have to plague your asks with this

“Come on baby.”

“You can do it for me right, mami?”

“I know you can take it all for me.”

“Just a few more inches and i’m all the way in.”

“Mi amor.”

Just some casual phrases miguel would whisper in your ear as he makes you sink down on him…

WELLL SHIIEEETTT?? NOW YOU KNOW HOW THATS GONNA MAKE ME FEEL CAT.

content: afab!reader, smut, riding, petnames, squirting, cumming, size kink

miguel was always so careful with you, always. your importance to him was never questioned — he made sure of that to every conjuring mind and eye that ever perceived the both of you.

but when it came to pleasing you, pleasing him, miguel was careful but in a way that could almost be considered bullying.

“come on, baby”

you wouldn’t even be a quarter way down on top of his cock before he’s cheerleading you on, adamant for your participation and warmness of cunt. your whines would usually be an indicator of how you were feeling — and tonight they still were — but with the way miguel’s eyes glowed with venomous passion, you knew it had no difference whatsoever.

“miguel, i cant.” you whine

“but oh yes you can.” he coos back with the utmost lack of consideration for your capabilities.

and maybe you dont take your capabilities into consideration either because as soon as he says those words, youre letting out kitten like mewls as you sink yourself further onto his cock.

“fuck…”

“you can do it for me right, mami?”

miguel bends his head to softly mumble into the dip of your neck, lips already attached to your skin, teeth doing their best to not skim it. he feels you nod as opposed to seeing you do so.

“mhm.” the small breaths that come out your mouth tickle at miguel’s ear but he doesnt care. hes just so enamoured with whatever you’ve got going on and how easy it was to get you to siiiiink.

“just a few more inches and im all the way in.”

and he knows its good enough encouragement because sooner than he thought, your cunt hilts to the near end of his cock, and miguel can only let out a hiss as his body twitches in pleasure.

“shiiiit, you feel good, mi amor.” he finds himself saying and it only makes you glower with pride.

miguel doesnt ask whether you’re adjusted, he’s just so ready to buck into you. hands clambering down your physique, probably remembering your build before they land at your hips. he squeezes them, only slightly, but its enough for you to know his use with you.

lifting you slightly off of him, miguel wastes no time in hitching his ass back against the chair and gripping his feet to the ground so that he can plant you nastily back down against his thick cock.

and you’re whining again. it’s pretty much incomprehensible, but this time the whines sound phonetically a lot like his name. he knows he needs to assure you in this.

“tryna make you feel good tonight, mi cielo. only want you to feel good by me.” he joltedly mumbles.

“only you.”

you say out of continued kindness but miguel doesn’t take it so. as the man licks at your neck and continues to fuck into you, he growls against your skin.

“only you, who?”

“o-only y-y-y-you papi…can…ah!”

the words are so hard for you to get out. with the way miguel is jogging you with his dick it’s borderline impossible to hold any sort of coherent conversation. but the amusing thing is that miguel loves it! he knew he was more talkative than most during sex but he loved how nothing about this was logical or thought out, it was all pure want of the body.

“yeah, solo yo. sólo yo, bebé.”

the sound of slapping skin and the smell of wafting sex fills the air continues to fill the air until the both of you are cumming together, lower halves wetter than you intended them to be.

#WHEW!!! #OKAY OKAY!! #miguel o’hara #miguel #spiderman #spiderman 2099 #across the spiderverse #atsv x reader #atsv smut #atsv x black reader #atsv x black reader smut #black reader #black reader smut

[liloinkoink]

as someone who also has so much homework to do. what are your thoughts on treesekai ren (speaking of treesekai, i actually sent that fic to a friend like a year ago who doesn't watch hermitcraft etc and i remember we had fun reading it and giggling over the anime of it all so tysm for that ♡)

i am no longer doing homework so i can share thoughts. it is almost 3am tho so idk theyll be coherent

first im glad you two enjoyed it! dont know how i feel about the fact it's breached containment but it is good to know it holds up

[speaking of, this fic was posted a year ago, so if you dont know what treesekai is, here is the link for you]

second i think all the time about just how lonely treesekai Ren is. ive made posts like this before but Ren is just... he's so lonely. Ren is a character with a lot of love in him, always. he always wants someone to care about. often many someones! he gravitates towards big loyal teams, and he usually spends his time at home building a place for that team to be protected and safe, and is willing to die to defend that home (and he has. twice.)

dogwarts was a big team whose loyalty he took seriously and whose home he died to defend. the shadow alliance had matching skins and, until they went red, all ren's loyalty, and their base of operations was one of the last bases standing bc Ren continually put it back together for his teammates. Ren and BigB died on the doorstep of of box, with ren's last words being about defending it. home and the people in it are important to him

treesekai Ren is the same, but he doesnt really have anywhere to point it. he has a home, but what matters to Ren about a home is that theres people in it. he loves the country he rules but he thinks if he does that hard enough he'll have someone, and he just doesnt. he assumes he can trust his staff, thinks he'll be able to make alliances with other nations, hopes his fiance will be that person he needs. but he isnt! and Ren cant trust him! or his staff! or other royalty! no one else in the world cares about him! many of the people close to him ultimately want him dead!

so, in the game, he ends up paranoid, and he ends up evil, and he ends up dead

but in the fic he meets Martyn, and he gets that connection and affection and care hes been looking for all this time. and like. it fascinates me how much Martyn doesnt know how much hes changed ren's life. Ren isnt evil for nothing--above all he's lonely and hurt. by saving him from loneliness, Martyn saves his life. he could abandon the game plotline then and there, completely forgoing all the normal isekai tropes of running thru every event w future knowledge and picking the best possible outcome, and Ren would no longer die. just by being there and sincerely caring for Ren, Martyn has already achieved the best of all possible worlds. and he doesnt even know it!

i just. i love how lonely he is and how simple he is. he just wants to be loved. he just wants to love someone. he's a dating sim character, after all, and that's the whole point, isn't it? his world exists just so the people in it can be loved, and he's not allowed to have any of that. if youd just give him a romance, he'd be more than happy to be a love interest instead, but he isnt! he isnt allowed! no wonder he loses it. on some level, maybe he knows hes being denied the fundamental purpose for existence in his universe

this is rambly bc its rlly late but im just. it must hurt more than anything to be the one character in a world about love who is meant to be completely unlovable

#oink asks #anonymous #treesekai

[pigeonwit]

ok but like jack who loveeeess when hes under the weight of something, he sleeps with like four hundred stuffed animals weighted blankets are his jam, etc etc, and then davey comes along and just flat out sleeps on top of him 24/7. its a win for both of them. (sorry if this isn’t coherent im literally asleep)

(sneep i dont know if you're referencing the prompts list at all or if it was just deeply important to you that i know this but i'm writing about it anyways)

It's hard for Jack to keep his feet on the ground sometimes.

He can't quite put it into words. He's not really a words guy. It took him about a year and a half post-American-public-school-system to realize that he was actually smart enough to read books, let alone echo them. Colours, that's where Jack's mind lives. A big swirling sea of shapes and colours. Sometimes it's calm; the gentle blue strokes of a calm, well-rested morning; the occasional pops and starbursts of the New York streets - a baby babbling at their parents, a dog yipping excitedly, a song that's been stuck in Jack's head drifting out of the cracked window of a passing car - all painted in pretty pinks and bright, sunny yellows. He's nowhere near whimsical or delusional enough for the happy-go-lucky "where dreams are made of" view of NYC, the one that's been washed over in watery-pink with Gershwin plunking in the background - but he's not nihilistic enough to pretend it's nothing more than a tar-pit. There's plenty to love, to be inspired over, to leave happy little brushstrokes on his skin.

But sometimes - sometimes - he gets too swept up in it. All the movement, all the noise, all of it, it picks him up by the scruff and throws him, spins him around and kicks him right between the ribs, until he's drifting listlessly along the sidewalk like a scrap of paper, small and sensitive, marked by every fume of exhaust and drop of gutter-water.

It's the difference between being painted and being stained. That's the only way Jack can describe it. Paint, colours, it has a purpose to it. It presses into his skin and keeps him grounded to reality. A stain is just... Nothing. A tear, a black hole of graphite in his chest, sucking up all his being until there's nothing left.

He needs solidity, when he gets like this. He needs to be held in place until all that old, wasted paper is rubbed away, and he can grow into himself again, fresh and newly remade.

It starts with a pillow. His first night at Medda's - she gave him two instead of just one. He'd no idea what to do with it. He only needed one or else his head felt too high, and he didn't want to just chuck it on the floor or stuff it in his closet, Miss Medda might think he was rude, and he liked Miss Medda, he didn't want her to think he was a bad kid, she might get angry, might give him back... And then he was panting, trembling with every inch, tears stinging at his eyes as he tried to press his nails into his palm, hold himself together, but nothing was working, nothing was firm enough-

It was humiliating - as humiliating as everything else is for an eleven year old, but still, humiliating - to go to sleep that night, clutching a pillow to his chest as he squeezed with all his little might. But it pressed his lungs into the mattress, forced the air in and out, and the foam held tight against his sharp, scrabbling hands, not breaking, not pushing him away... It was just enough.

He almost would've been content with just that, hugging a pillow every now and then - but Medda and Siôn had this whole thing about 'making Jack understand his worth as a person', the nerve, and suddenly he was being given all he needed and more. A plushie, then two, then five. A throw pillow with Val Kilmer's face on it, because Siôn ("Just fucking call me Crutchie, dude, I won't break-") was just as much a cretin when he was a teenager than he is now. A weighted blanket for his birthday that redefined Jack's understanding of the word comfort.

And that could've been enough. It all could've been enough. Fuck, just a hug every couple of days would've been enough. It was certainly more than he'd earned.

He'd offhandedly said something along those lines to Davey - or "Library Guy" as he'd been referred to at the time, since Jack had only really met him three times in two weeks - who had calmly raised a finger, taken a long swig of his coffee, slammed his travel mug (reusable, of course, because Davey is the world's most irritatingly perfect saint) on his desk and given Jack a seventeen minute speech about humanity's relationship with validation through the lens of a capitalistic society - and all of a sudden, Jack wanted everything. Coffee. Dinner. Pet-names, hand-holding, lazy Sundays, teasing each other when they woke up and talking about bullshit until they fell asleep. And Davey gave him all of it without a second glance.

Jack was hesitant to ask, at first. They'd fallen asleep on the couch - they were supposed to be studying, but Davey had found out Jack had never watched any of the Lord of The Rings movies and had spent the entire evening pausing every five minutes to eagerly share his Silmarillion trivia (Jack still hasn't gotten him to admit it yet, but he's pretty sure he can pinpoint Davey falling in love with him to the moment Jack asked why Viggo Mortensen kicking a helmet was so funny to him) - and they'd inevitably fallen asleep on top of each other, with Jack flat on his back and Davey splayed over him like the world's sweetest, sleepiest octopus.

("You really know how to make a guy feel hot, y'know that?"

"Bold of you to assume octopuses are not hot. Tentacle porn exists for a reason, Dave."

"See, I want to be mad at you for bringing up tentacle porn at brunch, but I'm more offended that you called them octopuses and not octopi.")

It was nice, having Davey over him - which, yes, got him some eyebrow waggles when he first admitted it, but it really wasn't like that. It was the weight of it, the reassurance of Davey's warmth encompassing his own, knowing that Davey was here, and he was here, pressed down firmly to the ground and not going anywhere. The sensation of it - the firmness on his chest that makes him feel every breath and every beat of his pulse, that tells him he's here and he's fine - it's like his whole brain's been washed clean.

"Pressure stimming," is the word Davey uses about two months later, a short while after Jack had finally realized that they were actually, exclusively, undeniably boyfriends and not just 'friends who are kind of maybe dating if Davey wants that maybe'. He'd walked into his bedroom in his and Crutchie's apartment to find Davey already there, lying face down on the bed - and Jack might've left it be, because he's had plenty of days where he just needs to lie face-down for a whole hour, but Davey telling him that he physically couldn't get off the bed was the thing that sent him panicking.

"It's not a big deal..." Davey's forefinger flicks up-and-down, up-and-down against one of Jack's many pillows as he speaks, the way he does when he has just slightly too much nervous energy. "It's just something I need sometimes. The way my energy is, it's like everything I do starts weighing down on me - and sometimes I can just let that weight off every now and then, and I'm fine - but sometimes I just... Need something. To support me."

Jack nods slowly, thinking of pillows and plushies and weighted blankets, and hovers his hand over the small of Davey's back.

"You need something, like... On top?" He cringes, because there's no way for that to not sound like an innuendo, but Davey only snorts into the comforter and shakes his head against the soft fabric.

"You're perfect," he smiles, so earnest that it makes Jack's chest squeeze, "but - no. I don't really like that. Feels like I'm being restrained."

Jack frowns, adds that to the little drawer in his brain marked Davey - a drawer that is becoming so cluttered and full of tiny details and special memories that it's almost overflowing - and bites his lip.

"I could, um..." Slowly, like Jack might spook him, he lowers himself onto the the bed next to him, raising his brows in question. "If you want?"

Davey stares at him for a moment - and then it's as if all the tension in his body just bleeds out of him, as he makes wanton little grabby-hands in Jack's direction. Jack laughs quietly, grabs him gently by the shoulders and pulls, rolling them until he's flat on his back and Davey's spreadeagled on top of him - and they both sigh from somewhere deep in their bones as they lean and are leaned upon, pressing and being pressed against each other, two solid weights supporting each other in place.

"I like this," Jack murmurs into Davey's hair as they rest. Davey makes a quiet chuffing sound into his clavicle and wriggles slightly, like a cat kneading a pillow, pressing them both impossibly closer as he settles.

"Oh, yeah?" He says quietly. "You like having a big octopus on top of you?"

"My exact words were sweetest and sleepiest octopus." Jack teases, tugging lightly on one of Davey's curls. "C'mon, English Major, those're some important words, there."

"You're so weird," Davey mumbles, but Jack can feel his smile pressing through his shirt, all the way to his skin, through the muscle, until it prints like ink on his breastbone. It holds him there, keeps him perfectly still and secure - and Jack breathes like he's tasting the air for the first time.

"I love you," he says quietly, because it's the only way he can even think to put what he's feeling into words. Davey would know better than him on that. He could write sonnets about this, pages and pages of prose about how it feels just to hold someone - but Jack's not a words guy. Give him a few hours with a canvas, and maybe he can get down a fraction of what he's feeling now, the barest impression of the thousands upon thousands of colours dancing inside his head like grass in the wind. But for now, he'll just say "I love you", and hope that it's enough.

He can feel Davey's throat flex against his sternum, can feel the way his body tenses, then ebbs, like the pull of the tide.

"I love you, too," he whispers.

It's so much more than enough.

#this got SO fucking sappy towards the end #but yknow. love is stored in the stimming! #i have a few more asks queued up but they'll have to wait until after tomorrow cause. work. #alas we are all victims of capitalism #newsies #uksies #javid #javey #jack kelly #davey jacobs #david jacobs #pigeon scribbles #sneepsnoopboopideeboop

[smittyw]

i wanted to make some dinky elevator pitch introductions for my fav ocs because.. i dont talk about them very coherently it seems. or at all! what!!

to finally make up for that i'll put my extended edition under the cut below. love peace taco grease and stay frosty forever

so from what i gather in my notes, razz is the only recognizable one around here who got their lore blasted from a megaphone the second i came up with it. after that i got shy.. i was too busy having thoughts to ever explain who molly and Q were or where they came from. and its been like 2 years. well!

nat and molly are formerly codependent childhood friends and funhouse mirror versions of each other who split paths after high school. theyre like if two besties fated to be a detective duo spat on fate's shoes and ran off in different directions to do the same thing but badly & alone.. molly actually hit the books to become a private investigator, champion of truth and justice, while nat hit the pavement to become a paparazzo, champion of clickbait. they hate each other a lot but given the slightest chance they will attach at the hip again and drain the life from each other.

Q is later to the party, a terminally exhausted college dropout and shut-in with a notable (anonymous) presence in the online music scene. every slight inconvenience in his life is a straw and when the last one hits boy is he ready to just drive into the sunset or maybe the ocean or maybe just live in his car and stop talking to people forever. if the band they joined out of peer pressure makes it big or they get found out for their alter ego its so over..but luckily they started dating the most nosy and paranoid idiot alive & inadvertently pissed off the second most nosy and paranoid idiot alive in the process, so surely nothing like that could ever happen

these goobs run in slightly different circles that overlap juuust enough to be a problem, and its hard not to run into the most annoying eccentrics in their unserious version of LA slightly stuck out of time. if i were reintroducing lore important characters itd include plenty more than just them (eg freddy mysteriously missing from this description of events as if he isnt also there) but imho i have no obligation to pay attention to anything outside the range of my hyperfixation blast. the important thing to me rn is just to let yall know what the hell im talking about when i make stupid jokes everyday about girlies who dont exist <3

#ocs #oc intros #nat #molly #qamar #id in alt text #partial id #thank u for reading or if u didnt wanna read thank u for looking at them #this has been in the works for a while but in the form of much more detailed portraits i gave up on as a viable format #fuck that. maybe i'll use the wips for later tho #pls feel free to ask whatever u please about these fellers i could talk abt them for hours but i shant unprompted

[estrophore]

Signalis Post (barely coherent thought vomit)

So I finished signalis on Monday and i think ive just about recovered enough for me to make a gush post about it on tumblr dot com, which i think i have to do cause i dont think any other game has really hit me as hard as this one. Spoilers obvs.

Being pre-transion, with that associated depression and closing off from oneself, ive always found it difficult to get out my feelings, even in private with just myself, and yet signalis has filled me throughout with its beautiful romantic melancholy and left me genuinely sobbing for the gay robot and her space girlfriend (almost worried that if id played this game on estrogen it might actually have just killed me on the spot). the only other times i can think of where i really cried were playing We Know The Devil near the beginning of the year, which really fkin hit the part of me that struggles to accept myself, and that time i rewatched the last episode of she-ra after reading the ‘Word War Etheria’ fanfic, which brings the characters so much more to life i fell for them all over again.

Signalis is a game that calls back to a lot of classic horror like resident evil and silent hill, which i havent got round to playing any of yet, but i think nostalgia works both ways sometimes and i’ll be playing them sooner now. sometimes horror gets stereotyped as all death and violence, some games fill themselves with skulls and corpses, and big ugly monsters and basically shout ‘DEATH!’ in your face repeatedly and it all just comes off as a bit garish and ridiculous and not actually very scary really. Signalis sits at the other end of that scale (with some of my other fav horror games like soma, cry of fear) where its environs are most usually just… quiet. Still. Muffled. Sad. just as often as theres tension or creeping fear because of this i find theres a strange kind of comfort too. Maybe its just that in most other genres of games theres so much of music, UI elements, pickups and interactibles with vibrant design. Here, theres room for your mind to just occupy the space. A soft fog. A dimly lit room. An empty train. Snow out a window. Liminal spaces that dont expect anything from you.

Signalis is a game thats just simply, unapologetically gay, and i dont think i would have been quite so invested in Elster and Ariane’s relationship if they were a straight couple. Its why representation is important, if art’s way for us to explore our emotions then its important to have media that we can relate to. Even Adler’s role isnt typically masculine. Our replika characters are manufactured, designed for certain roles in the base. Notes from the tough Stars and Storchs in the shooting range, the dollish Eules with the fairy lights and music player in the dorm. I couldnt help but think of groups of Eules sat around chatting, together, and im yearning for that feeling of togetherness, of understanding a friend that closely. I somehow missed the couple in the mineshaft (next playthough, ill find you v_v ). Despite the harshness of life in the Eusan nation (especially for the gestalts) the characters in it are defined by their feelings of belonging and hope. With the obvious parallels to east germany, i think of posters of cosmonauts and space travel from the time. Propaganda, sure but also made with the genuine belief in something greater. When the events of the game take this away, well, we find the last Kolibri, whod rather lose herself than lose her [ah. Im not sure theres a word here to properly describe the relationship they embody]. Its a game defined by loneliness.

We dont lie up at night scared by some corrupted android. We arent stuck with horror at the flesh everywhere, not on its own. We lie awake thinking about Elster and Ariane’s love for each other, the horror of their decline, the futility of trying to hold on forever. Its existential horror done perfectly. It shows an ending postponed and stretched far beyond its limits, and so squarely reminds you that you do, in fact, have to die one day. You’ll break down. One day you’ll say your last words to the people you love and you wont even know you have. Ariane’s final few diaries arrive with the full force of the narrative behind it, like a spear through my heart. For the record, I got the promise ending. Im still sad. It's a game about raging desperately against an unfair ending. I might think about this game for the rest of my life. I would sincerely say its an artistic masterpiece, by the sure definition of video games as art.

I like that the story leaves a lot open and abstract. I think it makes the emotional themes takes centre stage more. And i havent had nearly enough time to sift through it and come up with my own takes, we’ll need a few more playthroughs for that. And theres so much more to say that cant go in just these few paragraphs! Signalis is a game about two girls who had to run away from everything to find someone they belonged with. The universe may be cold and bleak, but you have to try, you might just find something beautiful, even if it doesnt last forever. I think if anything, we should all have the chance to find love and happiness like that, and we shouldnt have abandon a world that doesnt work for us to do it.

#signalis #lgbt #lesbian #long ass emotional ramble post #fuck im nearly crying again #horror #liminal #signalis spoilers #elster #ariane yeong

[drossna]

caduceus lvl.20 redesign i did ages ago but forgot to post

copious amounts of design notes under the cut

tl;dr: my goal with this redesign was to create a coherent design consistent with his previous art, improved enough to hopefully read as lvl.20, but still practical enough to serve as actual adventuring clothes

okay anyways so watch how autistic i can be about caduceus

i wasn't satisfied with caduceus's lvl.20 design. i'm not entirely sure how that design happened. to be fair, critrole designs have never been consistent, but lvl.20 cad abandons nearly every key aspects of cad's design. it drives me batty

why is his hair so straight and pale and dead. why is he draped in so much brown. how do those wing-skirt things work. why does his staff... look like that. like its gonna explode into toothpicks at the first use. why is there honey. why is the gold of his shield so bright. what is the rope on his shoulders for

i mean, who knows what goes on in the critrole art development process. my personal theory is that they continue to design these characters as personal ocs and not as official characters in a huge multimedia franchise, and their personal choices trump all, design considerations be damned. like, i cant really judge. i have the privilege to make whatever choices i want when drawing. i answer to no one. i could tell taliesin jaffe to go fuck himself. yknow. if i wanted to die

regardless, i dont hate everything about the lvl.20 design. i appreciate that it brought back his swirl-patterned pants, but the entire core of his design is so busy with shit that it becomes a problem

i tried to preserve cad's key aspects as much as i could in my redesign, as well as incorporate aspects i enjoyed most from each design. for example, i really like the idea of the goliath beetle armour in lvl.20 cad, but i tinted the black shell towards blue to match cad's signature teal green.

I also tried to create a palette consistent with his previous designs. teal should always be his primary colour, with pink being the most prominent accent. after that, anything thats analogous to those two is gravy. for real, i am begging critrole to at least keep consistent palettes, because this is a problem for most of their designs

my choice to include the red cords is inspired by the winter cad design as well as one of fjord's earlier designs (side note: most of fjord's designs are pretty great; he's the most consistently on-par)

i enjoy drawing aesthetic parallels between connected characters. on that note, the swirly jade earring is a gift from beau :3 because they're fun earring buddies

speaking of cad's winter design, the design sheet showed a lot of asian influence (thats mostly covered by the cloak) and i will take any excuse to add asian influence to a design. the first two tunics below were my main reference for my own tunic choice

the knots on the cords are specifically chinese knot art. the largest knot at his waist is a plate knot which can symbolize the cyclical nature of life and death, and the knot on his cape is a brocade knot which can symbolize (re)unity. i thought these concepts were in-line with cad's general philosophy and the wildmother's teachings. also, the brocade knot acts as his holy symbol with a crook-shaped pin woven through the cord. i really fuck with holy symbols being integrated into a design rather than just slapped on somewhere

lightning round design notes:

the fraying woven material is witch hair moss, which i imagine could be made very soft and warm. this is my version of the neutral-coloured flynet cape in the fourth design

i brought back the iconic pink lichen

i simplied the staff again. my way of visually portraying a growth in power is that the one wooden hand has transformed into many hands grasping the crystal, which is also a representation of cad widening his social circle and of the nein in general

cad curly hair and beard so important to me

cad wide nose so important to me

final note:

the pose i chose for caduceus was very intentional. while cad looks great in a power pose, i feel like it doesnt suit his character. his power isnt so confrontational. his power is quiet and gentle and humble and inevitable. he doesnt need to show off. he's just chilling. i love this dumb silly man

and for the record, while i consider cad to be the worst lvl.20 design, jester is a guaranteed second place. very tempted to redesign her as well, because mature-but-frilly pirate lolita is right up my alley

#cadeuces clay #character design #redesign #art tag #cr2

[freshlybakedspiderbread]

ive always wanted to talk a bit about how i feel about the connection between Yukari and Merry because i love the endless parallels and thematic connections (like everyone else on the planet 😁), but wondering if it was ever 'worth' it since i may just be spouting a lot of what is already considered 'common knowledge' among hifuu aficionados. Not to mention i think my thoughts on it are somehow both really messy but also crystal clear. 😐 Well whatever! Its my own head anyway so i'll try not to worry and am gonna attempt to elaborate even if just a little on this post, which may not be entirely coherent due to sleepy, post-medicine fatigue.

i feel like over the years i may have started to become reflexively more 'against' yukari = merry fandom, although 'against' is probably too strong and its much more complicated than just "i dont subscribe to that theory" because thats not even entirely accurate!

it is of course a classic and really cool idea of the Merry one day becoming Yukari has been and continues to be thoroughly explored by many many fans for moving, tragic, bittersweet, or thought provoking work. I love Absolute One-Way Street, and also Dream and Reality among many other works like it 📖

but i also think its a little stiffling to think of that as the one and only story to tell about them? Now its possible that the sentiment im about to express isn't actually common and im actually just making up a person to respond to, but i think taking the teasing connections between Yukari and Merry and treating the idea of them being the same individual as the absolute obvious truth is a bit of a limiting perspective.

Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions and headcanons! but i want to make a case that when it comes to touhou and especially hifuu in particular, there's also a richer (and possibly deliberate on the author? who knows!) point to treat it more abstractly.

Maybe they are the same person. Maybe one day Merry becomes Yukari, or Yukari becomes Merry. Maybe they're different people. Maybe they come from the same lineage. Or maybe one is a clone of the other grown in a lab or made with a magic spell.

None of that is as important to me as the the roles they serve in their stories. touhou has always had themes about the gap and the bridge between fantasy and reality by taking place in a world where fantasy seeks refuge from reality, and hifuu goes much further in that theme by taking place in a reality that has completely left behind fantasy. That parallel is really cool to me and its embodied perfectly by both stories having a purple-clad blonde girl with the means to poking their toes into the boundary between fantasy and reality.

In the fantastical world of touhou, one serves as gensokyo's powerful (if frustrating, shady, annoying, disagreeable) protector with allies that she watches over (and sometimes manipulates) with her great power, all to preserve their little wonderworld. And I think its sooo compelling how zun introduced hifuu in the music cds and designed a very similar-looking character, who lives in a stifled reality lacking in imagination, mostly spends her day chasing after even the smallest traces of dreams with a partner whose own small logical world expanded with infinite possiblities upon their meeting...

In the last few cds, Merry's powers may be growing stronger and i get why feeds the implication she's becoming something other than human. But my take on that has always been its more of a sign that she and Renko are already outliers in their world simply for daring to believe there is more to the world beyond facts and logic. I dont expect their story (assuming zun ever brings them back. we havent heard what theyre up to since 2016....) to ever end with both or either of them becoming a youkai or vanishing to gensokyo, because frankly that wouldn't serve any purpose for the themes hifuu has been about, which is embracing fantasy while living in a world that has abandoned it.

trying to remember what my point with this post is.... Oh right its that I think all these themes about the nature of gensokyo or the state of reality in hifuu are only made richer when you think about how they contrast with one another. And by extension, I think Yukari and Merry are both richer if you think of them as conceptual and thematic counterparts in two different stories on the opposite end of a similar spectrum, before thinking about what literal or objective connection they might have. Subjectivity definitely means more than objectivity in this case!

#touhou #hifuu #yakumo yukari #maereverie hearn #< - my personal take on merry's name btw n_n #keep thinking i could use a tag for when i just ramble about touhou but at the same time its freeing to just let it out and about #like yeah my rambling can just occupy the same tag as all the fun pictures on my blog. thats fine!

[sorrowandchartreuse]

A writer's guide to describing passing out

Because i just passed out (again) and the second thing i thought of upon waking up was that glazed donut no mark save it for your art post, here is a list of what you could use when writing about characters passing out:

Beforehand:

you're going to feel really, really lightheaded. for me, that's what starts it all off. it's going to feel like when you stand up too fast, but it never goes away. your head doesn't clear

eventually, that lightheadedness feeds into a tv static sort of fuzziness. your head is whirring, almost. it's like a really drawn out buzz. you feel it in your forehead, in your jaw, in your ears.

your mouth starts to get thick, too. that tv static moves in there. your teeth start to feel fuzzy, especially the front and back ones.

by now, youre shaking and your limbs are heavy. at this point, i know to sit down, but it depends on your characters! is this regular enough of an occurance for them to know to sit? are they going to reach out to another character because they know what's going on? or are they going to reach out because they don't know what's going on? do their knees buckle and they fall while all alone?

it's all very disorienting at this point in the process. you have enough sense to form thoughts, but they're not all that coherent. words? not going to be that coherent either

During:

you can't pinpoint the exact moment you pass out. at least, i can't.

when you're passed out, there can be certain degrees to alertness. for example, i've had times where it feels like years pass but it's only a few seconds. i've had it feel almost like im in a really foggy dream. i've had times where i dont remember anything from it. most recently, i didn't remember passing out itself, but i remembered waking myself up from it. it was a very conscious struggle, where i knew i was passed out and i needed to wake up now

does your character remain somewhat alert? do they enter a dream-like haze? what's waiting for them there? i've seen faces and shapes there.

i personally can't feel when someone is touching me while i'm passed out, regardless of degree of alertness

do they know that being passed out is Just Not Right? do they wake themselves up?

Afterward:

you pee. that's just the deal. your bladder is going to release. i know this is not romantic, but like man thats just what happens.

peeing, like most things, could hold a plot point. who cleans your character up? or if they're on their own, how do they clean themselves up?

youre also drenched in sweat. just absolutely sopping in sweat. passing out loves the release of excess body fluids. its sexy like that

mention sweat on their neck, their forehead, their hair pressed down by it. do they wipe it off? do they have the strength to? if they don't, does someone else?

your face will have no color. describe this, but don't stop at the face. your character's lips will also be drained of it.

you will be wobbly. standing up, even sitting up, is going to involve a lot of shaking.

when you first talk, it won't be loud (fuzzy tongue, remember?) so it takes a couple tries to get what you want to say out. or if you do get it out right away, it surfaces extremely weak

it's important after you pass out to get fluids in you. not just water, but orange juice, cocoa, anything that will get you awake again. who gives this to your character? if there are multiple characters present when your character passes out, who won't leave their side and who runs to get something for them to drink, knowing it will help them?

your hands will shake lifting anything

it takes 3-5 minutes for me to regain color again

it takes about 5-10 minutes for me to feel normal again, but this likely depends on the person and how often passing out occurs for them

Please keep in mind this is based soley on my own experiences! also please feel free to add on! i hope this helps!

#writing #writing help #writing descriptions #writing injuries #tw passing out #writeblr

[noisemastter]

hi.... i am thinking about how much sweet capn nd k_k both parallel and r an antithesis of the fun gang ..... ok ? i think ......... i will mindlessly ramble . listen to me if you want . this may or may not be coherent at all . pay me no mind ok ?

they each have like,,, 1 basic trait thats described to them

okok so i think its really funny how much theyre complete fuckin opposites ( with the person they dance with ) .

kris - quiet person by susie and king

susie - mean girl by a save point

and yk . scc are energetic smooth and silly . its in their check dialogue . stated outright

ralsei - fluffy boy by a save point

energetic - quiet

smooth - fluffy

silly - mean

real interesting thing about capn and ralseis that isnt really important . . theyre both an adjective referring to a personality trait and a surface

ummm ill just go through them in sccs order . soooo,,, sweet / kris, cap / ralsei , and k_k / susie

sorry if this doesnt make sense im bad with words .

sweet / kris . . . . so much to say . mainly about sweet .

kris isnt shown to have much of a personality atleast in game ... which makes like a lot of sense considering they dont have free will for most of them . all we reaaally know is that theyre an introvert . theyre described as not being very energetic by tori, rarely ever waking up on time for school, usually sleeping through the start of class, and preferring tori drive them to school rather then walk . noelle also makes a comment about how kris isnt usually so talkative when you select the "anything" option in the hospital and as previously mentioned, theyre described as a quiet person

sweet on the other hand, is literally "the energetic one" . their movements are a lot more exaggerated and bouncier then the others, their way of speaking is a lot more upbeat then the others, and theyre the one who follows you around for ( most of ) cyber field ,,, they also have the most dialogue out of the 3 and are real passionate about their interests, being the most into the whole rebellion thing and likely being the one who started it all . they also use multiple exclamation marks in most sentences as a way of showing how enthusiastic they are about most things !!!!! this is a little small detail i noticed but.... they r also slightly off sync with the others whenever you ask them to play a song 4 you .

cap / ralsei,,,,,,, capsei shippers dee en eye you guys are weird

ough . i have so little to say about ralsei im sorry ralsei fans . ok anyways

ralsei is "the nice one" of the group i think . he tries to convince you to spare everyone, hes generally the most polite, and is maybe the tiniest bit naive in chapter 1, having to learn by the end that he cant trust everyone . even though hes nice, hes never exactly shown to be cowardly unlike most "nice" characters !!! he doesnt stand down to most enemies and is generally a lot less scared of . actual life threatening situations then a teenager should be .

cap'n on the other hand,,, is . the reason the game got a higher rating in japan because he says a statue looks like shit . capn is,,, from what ive seen, the least liked of the trio for coming off as rude in a lot of his dialogue ( hes just some guy i think ) . hes the most upfront about thinking you helped kidnap noelle, mocking you and making comments about it all throughout the first part of the game ( even trying to scam you because of it !!! ) . he also talks in a less formal way then ralsei does and makes several comments that are accidentally taken as flirty towards noelle ( hes just a little bit of a dumbass hes not a p/do . . targetted i see you freaks ) . hes basically shown to be willing to do anything if it benefits him and the others, trying to scam, trick, and appeal towards girls in an attempt to earn more money . hes also not a fan of fighting, and is reffered to as a coward by sweet for not really wanting to fight physically, even suggesting towards the start of the fight to just wait for other bad guys to come around . hes silly i love capn he reminds me of my best friend

cakes / susie .... i have so much to say about k_k you have no idea so many people get his character entirely wrong and it pisses me off . infact im breaking the pattern and starting with him because i have very little to say about susie and also fuck you

k_k is, in every way, kind of a doormat . they let people shortchange them, purposefully try and make themselves shorter to be less intimidating, and dont really wanna cause any trouble like at all . they try and make themselves sillier so they arent perceived as some sort of threat or something to be scared of ( considering theyre like 10ft tall . i did the math hes like 7 in his sprite and based on nelnals art, like 10'2 ) . hes the exact opposite of susie in every way !! k_k is tall and tries to make himself more approachable, giving you bagels for free if you dont have the money, trying to appeal to everyone by never really giving sweet or capn an answer that supports eithers argument, and just,, generally being a lot more polite then the other 2, despite the others best efforts . theyre also the first to try and cheer sweet up after they lose their battle, saying that they won because their dancing was better !!! a lot of trying to be smaller and appear as less mature likely comes from a place of anxiety,, as they only ever really speak whenever spoken to directly, try to stay on everyones good side, and have the least amount of dialogue out of the 3 by, like, 10%, most times them speaking being short, straightforward answers rather then them talking unprovoked

susie is,, kind of a smaller person trying to make herself seem bigger and scarier . she puts on a tough persona and is an asshole to most people who arent her friends, getting aggressive whenever people she perceives as threats bother her or the others and being a lot snarkier then the other 2 . towards ralsei and kris shes,, still pretty aggressive but its more in a playful way . she teases them often and is the only reason ralsei and her ever get an act option, because she points out how theyre not dumb and they can act by themselves . shes,, pretty much just any teenager with her friends

scc also think of themselves as the main characters . they make a constant attempt to act as so, trying to fight the fun gang because they think they helped the queen kidnap noelle, but in the end they just arent ,,, enough .

the fun gang r kinda just. kids who probably just wanna be kids but Cant because they kinda have this whole prophecy thing on their backs (susie and kris especially) and didnt really . choose to be the main guys .

i think,,, them being opposites is also a huge reason why scc being adults is so important to me . of course you can hc them as any age !!! but thinking of them as kids because theyre immature is,,,, boring as fuck . making them adults ties in a lot more with all of these opposites . thinking of them as adults who never really grew up would act as a sort of antithesis to the fun gang being teenagers who r growing up a little too fast and its soo... fun to play with . its fun to explore why they never matured like a lot of other people or if theyre just a little immature naturally !! theyre silly and theyre fun and theyre so entertaining to me i wanna put them under a microscope and study them ...

scc being adults who never grew up and the fun gang being teenagers who r growing up too fast is so fun to me i think . scc try so desperately to be the "main characters" . to be important . to be those guys . while the fun gang didnt even really try !!!! kris and susie just wanted to get chalk and got sucked into a huge prophecy thing in a world they didnt even know existed and i just . idk this is probably incomprehensible at this point sorry . i jusy think the fact theyre opposites is really fun and i dont think enough people notice it

tldr kris is quiet and introverted , sweet is energetic and ( likely ) loud judging from how they talk

ralsei is nice but not timid or cowardly at all, while a lot of capns dialogue is accidentally rude and hes literally called a coward ingame,

and susie tries to make herself bigger and scarier while k_k wants to be viewed as non-threatening and friendly as possible

thanks for listening to my autism rant . if you care .

#i dont know if i want to tag this or not . #maybe i will . just incase someones interested . #scc #sweet cap'n cakes #sweet capn cakes #deltarune #capsei shippers dee en fucking eye btw you all suck #sorry that was mean . but god some of you are insufferable #ralsei would hate capn but try and be nice about it and like slightly passive aggressive while capn would like. #piss him off on purpose because he thinks its funny to watch ralsei try and stay calm #do you get me here #fuck capsei