#i dont have any relationship w my dad at all lol i dont know how hes gonna react or how to even word it

[zemnarihah]

much to think about.

#i had lunch w my sister today and she was talking abt our dad and abt how him being like emotionally abusive made her a huge people pleaser #and she was like yeah i think you didnt get that as much #you were always the one who stuck to your guns or just didnt talk to him #and at first i was like what bc i literally dont think anything i ever did could be rlly described as actually sticking to ones guns i alwa #felt like i was so avoidant of any conflict w him bc yk i was like. terrified of him. but i was thinking abt it and compared to her i think #like yeah actually shes right? bc i would avoid conflict w him but i did that by like fully cutting off our relationship as much as #possible and she did it by trying to please him all the time. which probably neither were that healthy obviously they were jsut like. our #instincts for how to protect ourselves yk. but the thing is for the past few months i thought i had been learning how to not be so scared #of making ppl mad and to be more assertive and stuff. but i think actually i probably have always had that strength maybe it was just. #kinda beaten down for a while since standing up for myself always made things worse. so the other option to not allow him to treat me like #that was to cut myself off from him. But i still did that yk? idk. #like i was thinking more abt it and #i was the one who left the church at 18. after i moved out but i did. and i didnt hide it after that. my sister has apparently been mentall #out for years now and nobody in our family knows but me. bc she is so scared to disappoint him. and like idk. i always was like why couldnt #i get out earlier bc i know so many ppl who just said fuck you im not going anymore at like 14 or smth and i was like why couldnt i do that #but i guess looking at it from my sisters pov our situation was just really fucking hard. and i guess im realizing i was honestly a lot #stronger and braver than i thought i was that whole time. idk. #lol its like bittersweet. bc it makes it so much more real that it was actually super fucked up. the way we grew up. like i think sometimes #the easiest thing is for me to go haha yeah my dad was kind of a dick and whooaaahhh so crazy i grew up mormon hahah! but its like no that #was fucked up. but look at how i made it through that yk. its kind of making me. idk. develop some more respect for myself i guess #idk idk #ignore me i am just journal posting . lol #exmo tag

[nicomrade]

so i reread the scott pilgrim comics this week for the first time since 2019? lots of stuff happened in my life in-between + i learned to actually like, pay attention when reading so this specific reread felt really important to me- the issue of reading it in french for the first time aside. heres some misc thoughts i had while reading! some of this stuff is drawing from conversations about the comics ive had with people over the years, i dont mean to break any new ground here, and i dont have a specific lense to look at the comics through so its not structured like analysis either. full thoughts under the cut! i hope you all like going on this little trip with me ^-^

so first of, the X motif! this i KNOW i saw someone else talk about. it comes up first on scott's jacket with the X-men patch (and it comes up again in that context- "then wolverine is crucified on a big X") and also on knives' scott-shrine, her dad slashes an X over scott's picture. these are the two biggest exemples but there really are Xs constantly in the imagerie of the comics, which is great and i love. the comic is about fighting ramona's exs, and this is foreshadowing that scott himself will be one, but its also generally about the baggage that comes with existing. at its core its really comics about dealing with whats over, so we get into scotts relationships w envy & kim & knives (& ramona), but we also get into his relationship with lisa (what couldve been) we also see him move flats (the end of an era!), in volume 1 scott tells knives about the house he grew up in that now belongs to another family, scott breaking his bass & no longer being in a band, etc. theres sooooo many flashback sequences in these comics and references to the past… its all about the X.!

loosely related in the foreshadowing department there are genuinely so many background details of stories about people who dont matter to the comics that foreshadow later developments. the details of why Crash & the Boys changed drummers is straight up the dynamics of Clash at Demonhead, theres the Lucas Lee movie on the BG thats visually identical to scotts memory of when he got with kim- and the reveal that the lady in that movie wasnt dead is arguably foreshadowing for scott reviving in volume 6? if you know whats happening in the story, rereading the volumes really is so rewarding. it also helps on a first read cause unconsciously its not the first time you're hearing about these ideas so theyre easier to digest & accept. this is also what the character explicitely referencing what will happen later is for- "i wonder how the Boys & Crash can do music without instruments- maybe it will be relevant later in the evening" "i'd need a deus ex machina to beat todd", these help you accept when these things do seemingly "come out of nowhere" later in the scene (and poke cheerful fun at it lol these are fun comics)

a personal fave of mine is the phrase "read the comic sometime" thats repeated in the early volumes at characters who werent there for something. its 4th-wall breaking, its fun, it nicely tells lost readers where to head to without re-dumping exposition, AND it helps keep track of who was where for what scenes … stuff like "when did stacey & ramona become friends??" or "i cant believe this is stacey & neils first meeting!" or "wallace was already introduced to ramona earlier" … its all fun and helps you stay on the ride. i think this is why i would read the comics back to back to back to back and retained very little. its easy to passively read these comics and its not a bad thing! though it is better to actively read them, and take these notes as fun jokes & reminders, and not life boats.

the 4th wall breaks are also great for the side characters having their own lives in the background. there are a lot more time indications in scott pilgrim than i remembered, if youre paying attention i think its really really easy to have a nice timeline in your head. but when stuff is broken to scott its not "i started dating mobile during X month" or "i came out X months ago" its "i started dating mobile during volume 3" and "i came out during volume 5" that way the reader can more easily relate it to the story that was happening at the time- and to keep in mind during a volume reread. its not a writing technique for EVERY comic, but its something that scott pilgrim gets to have BECAUSE its a comic- and unapologetically so! this is not a work that wants to be more novel than graphic to be taken seriously. its a comic, and its silly, and its also a work of art, and you have to respect it on its own terms.

theres also, uhm, ill be quick on this point cause its kind of weird how lesbians/sapphics are handled in the comics. its not BAD but theres clearly a bias towards male homosexuality being fleshed out and lesbianism not so much. but so the start of volume 4 is when kim & knives make out and it really starts this obsession in scott about this thing he cannot tell anyone about but is still thinking about, that prepares for roxies introduction- ramonas ex girlfriend. that i believe is also when wallace first asks if scotts broken out the "L-word" yet and it gives more context to scott assuming its lesbians? and him then going all "why does everyone keep asking me about lesbians!" but it is also kind of weird re: lesbian fetishism (which IS pointed out with scotts weird poster that no one likes but thats it). and all that with ZERO canon lesbians! roxie is pretty bi-coded i would say with her insistance on being "HALF-ninja", but ramona is described as an american ninja in the early volumes so its kind of loose. idk its weird and i like to think julie came out as a lesbian cause stephen & her being a comphet4comphet couple is really good to me

a thing id never noticed before is that julie was suspecting stephen of having views on knives during volume 4? and its why she was so shitty to knives for a while there, and then its "worked out" at the end of the volume. this feeds into the constant fear of cheating during the story, theres of course todd & scott who do cheat, but also more grey areas of relationships. im thinking of ramonas anxieties around lisa, and when scott finds out roxie stayed over at ramona's. about stephen too, his response to julie apologizing for being jealous of knives is very… uncomfortable

"i have nothing to fear!" "right yeah..." surely because hes starting to realize hes gay, and possibly because he's already vaguely started seeing joseph. we dont get more details on his relationships i am not going to accuse him of cheating LOL. i truly dont care. but its an anxiety that comes up again and again whenever relationships are starting to turn sour- "are they cheating?" and having been in my 20s for a little bit yeah i get it. scott not telling ramona about his job- not telling her much of ANYTHING during vol 4- and ramona not sharing much either are also part of this. theres a reason all of this happens in volume 4, and next volume ramona finds out scott cheated on knives with her. loss of intimacy and the breakdown of dialogue is all part of cheating anxieties, whether there is actual cheating or not. "what do i not know? what else are they keeping from me? they dont talk to me but they talk to them? are they cheating on me?"

theres a really neat thing the comics do to show the breakdown of scott and ramona's relationship in volume 5 and its the scene where ramona goes shopping and scott tags along. she spends it not saying anything (until she tells scott she doesnt even like his band) and scott obsessively talking about his comics (X-men!) while she doesnt look particularly interested.

this is the scene where scott breaks up with knives again!!! the roles are reversed, scott is now the one talking about whatever while his girlfriend's unresponsive, and obviously ramona doesn't break up with him here and there, and they dont kiss in a goodwill, but the ressemblance is there. and like with the knives breakup scene, we have a good date variant of this! its their very first date from the first volume where scott does mostly talk about himself but ramona is having fun joking with him. here we are shown their relationship slowly crumbling and it lays the ground for ramona leaving at the end of the volume.

similarly to how scott battles all of ramonas evil exs (himself included), ramona does face all of scott's own exs. its not as spectacular but we see her fight knives in volume 2, then she fights envy in volume 3. we also have her comment on kim that she does like her (same with lisa, who is not strictly an ex but emotionally is treated as such. especially with how scott sleeping over at lisa's is paralleled with roxie sleeping over at ramona's) these are not comments she makes about stephen or julie, for exemple, its specifically women who had a close relationship with him. and uhm ramona also comments on liking wallace who- again- is not STRICLY an ex, but hes also part of that volume 4 cheating anxieties conversation, wallaces incessant flirting, mobile himself jokes (?) about finding wallace in the arms of another man, etc. but most convincingly to ME because we are talking about EXs here is the flashback of wallace inviting himself at scotts house being identical to lisas scene of inviting herself at scotts, scott saying the story of how he ended up living with wallace is "somewhat gay", and the general college flashbacks.

i think this points to scott & wallace having briefly dated in the past, or (because hes paralleled with lisa) having a "what couldve been" relationship where they didnt make anything of it and now the time window's passed and emotionally? kind of feels like an ex. and if anything they ARE ex-roommates lol. this is not a scollace truthing thing, im a firm mobillace guy ok -_- im just saying its there. back to the point of ramona facing scott's exs as well, YES i am including herself in it. her going to the wilderness during vol6 parallels scott going to the countryside, the very place he faces negascott properly. and the way ramona talks when she comes back its easy to see that she did face herself on that trip. & the figurines agree with me that the idea of a negaramona does exist :)

thats more or less all i had in mind, i also feel like i was finally able to properly enjoy the themes of the comics of facing your own shittiness and doing better, of the harms of being stuck in your own head, of never ending up like gideon (who is so attached to his exs that he literally cryogenizes them!) the warning of rewriting your own memories (or at least biased recollections of it) uhm how breakups suck! and how cheating is not always black & white but also fucking sucks !! being out of school (wanting to go back to school?) and looking for jobs- and yes if scotts life had a face i would punch it too its literally unfair how easily everything goes for him on that front, even freeloading with wallace (<- jealous). envys obsession with a guy who is so obviously shitty but who shes been best friends with since they were 11 is also kind of… ooh i get it now…. its yeah. i think they really are comics for being in your 20s, a lot about dating? but its so generally about human relationships and dealing with your baggage, i think it is still relatable without the specific romantic relationship experience.? i love these comics. everyone read scott pilgrim if you havent in a while (or ever!!!!) and try to think a little about it as you read it really is so worthwhile. and if anything theyre insanely funny, and wallace is there!

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #scott pilgrim meta #spvtw #that is all ill tag ^-^ this is mostly for myself

[liquidstar]

(this is NOT meant as a "gotcha!" thing, just genuine curiosity. This is about the goldberg post you reblogged btw.) Wanting your own house forever is valid, but it makes me curious about your opinion of marrying someone who ALSO doesn't want anyone in their house and would like to live separately. I don't see why giving up your space has to be a requirement for everybody who gets married. (Obviously its fine to still not want that either lol. Not wanting marriage for any reason is valid!)

oh i wouldnt have seen this as a gotcha, i think its a pretty innocuous question about living arrangements w partners lol

but no yeah i actually totally agree with you, theres no reason marriage has to look like how society tells us to. you know, a man and a woman in the suburbs with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and a dog. i think that you can absolutely have any sort of arrangement you want with your partner

for a long time while i was growing up my parents were long distance, and that was fine and normal to me. i understand now that this wasnt really a choice (with the financial crisis in greece, my dad had to move to america to find work, and we all eventually moved once enough money was saved up etc) but like, it didnt make them any less married in my eyes. and i think that you can absolutely be in different houses even by choice and still be married if thats the kind of relationship youre both happy and secure with. who cares, right?

similarly my grandparents have different bedrooms but never had marital issues. my grandma just likes having her own space during the day, and she says theyd usually just pick one of the rooms to sleep in overnight. thats a mindset i can totally get behind and honestly that would also totally be the ideal setup for me, if i were to ever hypothetically get married.

i joked in the post's tags that one of my most "23 year old opinions" is not wanting to get married and start a family, and a lot of that is just because i dislike the idea of those obligations. but i also think a lot of that is because im young enough that i dont really see it as something i want- i still wanna be single and have fun because thats the kind of asshole i am (JOKE!). like, commitment to something that long term is just not in my field of vision yet. i do genuinely not want kids though but thats a different story. a spouse is something id want only if we really clicked i guess. but isnt that the case for everyone?

but for the time being i dont want anyone in my house LOL and maybe once i do we can have different rooms and do sleepovers like my grandma's genius idea

[artist-assassin]

ok i need to know more about ellaria STAT. and your thoughts on rosy + the rosymance !!

RRRRR OK OK but ive only played the public demo so far i havent paid for the patreon/closed demo yet, so i have very little information about the Rosymance in general. info dump and stats below

Ellaria is the humorous / cheerful kinda Button, about 5'5", and she calls her brother Nick-Nack in the game but I imagine she will call him any random number of names off the top of her head (based off of when I played Fallout 4 and I would often call Nick any random nickname like Nicki Minaj, Nickle Pickle, Nickolodeon, Nickaroni and Cheese, etc lol). She has some insecurities because she compares herself to her brother a lot, but she tries to tough it out and beat up her bad thoughts bc she's an unstoppable optimist!!! Stubborn to a fault she refuses to back down once she sets her mind to something. Is a very nice person but gets very socially awkward in large groups, and sometimes lashes out when she gets frustrated by how fragile people treat her (the first thing that made her like Instructor Kim was that he didnt beat around the bush abt her zero but didnt treat her like a kid either!! shes like damn finally some respect around here)

Loves Nick so much (i got like a 160% relationship with him in the open demo lol) looks up to him like her personal hero + mentor. Loves her dad even though it's a little bit strained, has not seen or spoken to her mother in 4 or 5 years after The Incident(tm). but she misses her mom a lot she, she's half scared of her mom hurting her and half scared she will hurt her mom.

I chose the pre-prepared name Ella when I first started playing bc I didn't know what the game was about so I wasn't prepared to like.. make an OC for it until I decided I liked it enough lol. But I compromised by just naming her Ellaria and Ella is her nickname. Here are her stats by whatever chapter is the last one in the open demo (8 i think?)

I LOVE AMBROSE KIM... i played as bisexual in my first go as Ella so i had no idea the genders for some charas changed until I checked the Ambrose Kim tag on tumblr lol. but im way more into rosy as a man than as a woman... Mr Kim u can instruct me any day,..

Like I said tho I don't know a lot about the Rosy romance because I only played the open demo, and I know the author says his romance takes the longest to flower because of the whole teacher/student aspect so he's actively trying to NOT fall for button.. well too bad bitch I'm gonna be so respectable and hot he's gonna have no choice.

anyway im gonna get the patreon this week (friday probably) so i can update u on how i feel soon jhgjhlks i also love all of the characters ngl. i would romance all of them in separate playthroughs.

and u didnt ask but ill mention Kali also, my 2nd Wiseman. shes NUTS. i made her to be the exact opposite of my first humorous, cheerful, ready-to-take-on-the-world girl Ella - so Kali is grim and not nice at all and technically still ready to take on the world but more in a "the whole world is my enemy" kind of way instead of the "i wont let anything stop me" ella way. She's VERY resentful about her zero and is one bad look from a ment away from strangling someone

sorry for the long ramble jhagdwj youre the first person who is talking to me about this game that has become my newest obsession (and u were the one who got me into it so UR responsible for this mess) and im happy to share it w someone :3c

pls feel free to tag me in any mind blind stuff u post, whether fanart or oc art or just rambles n stuff i dont care ill love it all. thank u

#mind blind #Ellaria Wiseman #Kali Wiseman #briefly mentioned at least #ough this was longer than i thought itd be jhgjhdw SORRY IM JUST SO EXCITED TO TALK ABT IT

[straycalamities]

For Andrew > 🍕🩷🧠🥊

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

ill be honest. i forgot. i dont keep track of that very well for any ocs besides spook (bc its was based on one of my bestest fwiend's fav foods so i'll never forget it)

something savory, though. i know he really likes savory, hot meals over other things because it reminds him of his dad who he has a decent relationship with. and eventually his bestie ji-hoon likes to make him good meals to help him with his depression. so he has very good associations with a nice, full plate of food.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

in a bittersweet way, it's whenever his mom would rarely actually fully praise him for something because 99% of the time she's cold, strict, and stoic. he ends up holding the same for julian and the times julian was super nice to him, but they eventually get soured when he realizes that it was probably all just a honeytrap. all part of the manipulation tactics.

straight up good memories usually come from joyriding in a nice car or on a motorcycle. or when he met ji-hoon and they clicked rly well. or had a lavish date with a guy who didnt last, but it was a nice time regardless. when he first got a telescope. or when he first got one of his pets. a silly moment with alana. stuff like that.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

i like...everything about him AAAA what do i even pick out...

i guess my favorite thing about him is how real he feels to me. like out of all my ocs i feel like he's the most that's like...that could be a real person. i've based a lot of him off my experiences or other people i've known so i think that's why. and so he's kinda like..a culmination of things i love and also the experiences and people that have been in my life. like a love-letter to my ?? living?? idk that sounds cheesy

i also think out of all my ocs he'd be the one i'd most like to be friends with if he were real. i could be friends with a bunch of them, but i think him and i would actually be close.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

like i said in the memories answer, he LOVES joyriding especially at night. nighttime joyriding is his default coping mechanism for like..anything and everything. he loves tinkering with things to figure out how it goes together and/or works. he loves listening to music. he loves watching golden hollywood era films or 80s cheesy flicks or cult classics. he loves just. watching his pet snake or tarantulas do their thing. he loves going out into the nightlife of the city. nighttime is his time and he loves being around people even if he's also a socially anxious and awkward mess. he loves meeting people and bonding with them over music or other things. he's a former partyboy so..he likes getting wild but in his later 20s he's a LOT more careful about it lol. and any of the previous stuff is 10x better if someone else is doing it with him or just parallel-playing with him if nothing else. he just REALLY likes being around and connecting with other humans.

he hates monotony though. he needs to switch it up and pretty often. he hates being around anyone that is just like straight up using him or toying with him. he can get down w like..yall are both just enjoying each others company for the moment and nothing else, but like..as a victim of major manipulation and abuse, he's got no time for any red flags like that anymore. he also hates doing things that are clearly a waste of time. like busywork or stuff like that he can't stand it. he also hates arguing lmao. he's pretty stubborn and hard-headed himself and he KNOWS it so he tries to just avoid arguments when he can because no ones gonna come out of it a winner. also he's not an emotional vault like ace is, he's pretty open with them for the most part, but he hates talking about the stuff that Truly bothers him like the mom issues or the julian stuff.

#asks #full-frontal-lotus #these were all THINKERS gotdam #thank you for them tho #andrew cho

[femmesandhoney]

I'm jealous of how many of you on radblr have like good enough moms. Mine was like beyond fucking abusive and I definitely got some internalized misogyny as a result.

And I'm not like trying to play trauma olympics or whatever, like I'm really not. I just see how a lot of you get this female solidarity thingy from your moms, and how much you love her and how much she scarcified for you and all that.

I can't relate to any of these things, the only person that tried and like fought for me was my dad so when you go on about your misandry I just feel so?? Idk i just dont have that anger in common with you.

And no this is not me saying that my dad is "one of the good ones", or that misandry is an overreaction to male oppression. I really need you to know that I don't have any bad intentions w this message.

This is kinda rambly. My US visa got approved today like 1 hour ago, and I only got 30 mins of happiness before she ruined everything.

I'm honestly glad it's at least over it was such a hassle. So yay I guess

Oh anon :( i don't think many people here have good relationships w their moms in a fantastic peas in a pod way. I love my mom, but she also fucked me up in many ways too. Everyone has various relationships w their mothers and the good parts people share here are likely not at all a good picture to compare yourself to either.

And there are definitely plenty of women here or whom we all know with terrible mothers. Women aren't immune to being bad parents and bad people just bc theyre women, obviously. One of my best friends growing up was raised by her dad and her mother was horrible. She was an alcoholic and never sent them to school. Her dad fought for custody of her and her brother, and he raised and loved them well. I would never try to defend her mother just bc shes a woman, she was an insanely horrible person and mother. Thats just an example of, like duh, there are fine fathers out there. Not every woman grows up w perfect moms. I think the idea that there's a way to be a perfect mother is also stupid, theyre people just like us. So i wouldn't necessarily be jealous of anyone. Even the "best" mom or dad will fuck up their kid in some way, thats just how being a parent works i think.

Im not sure what u mean about the misandry thing tho. We don't necessarily bond over our hatred of our fathers or our commonality of good mothers. Often we talk about how shitty men around us are yeah, which often will be immediate figures like fathers or male family, but misandry is about like all men being quite shitty a lot of the time in various ways lol? You don't gotta like start hating ur dad specifically when u start recognizing the patterns of male depravity and shittiness in the world 💀 i mean u could, but like no one is saying plz start hating ur dad if u have no real reason to. theres plenty of other shitty men to hate take ur pick lmao

#congrats on ur visa angel! thats wonderful #dont let her ruin it for u

[gunmetal-ring]

living for your hellcheer commentary! if you ever feel like it i'd love to hear your headcanons for the relationships between chrissy and her mom and eddie and wayne pre-s4

Aw ty 💕 as i continue to clog up the hellcheer tags you will learn that i will take any and all opportunity to ramble my thoughts lol. So thanks for the platform! Buckle in!

I think chrissys mom isnt the cartoonishly evil villain that we see/that we often read abt in fic. I dont think shes ever screamed "FAT PIG!" at chrissy or anything like that. I think the hallucinations were purposefully exaggerated to show that they werent real.

I think that the Real Torture (when vecna was actually killing chrissy) was the accurate representation - sugar-sweet voice for what seems like an innocuous message from non abusive mothers would be "i know you like this outfit and it doesnt fit so im adjusting it so it does fit so you dont have to throw it out bc i love you!".

Except we know that bc chrissy is bulimic and has past trauma, that her mom likely killed her w a thousand cuts - making hurtful remarks abt her weight, her figure, the way her clothes fit, the food shes eating, how she mom was so thin and beautiful at chrissys age and how she wishes chrissy could experience being thin and beautiful, shaming her for her diet, the sizes she has to buy for her clothes, etc. So they were clearly intended to be controlling and abusive but all coated as sugary sweet innocuous concerned-abt-your-health etc whatever. Which is why in the Real Torture when her mom turns around, her mom's face is monstrous - she looks and sounds like a loving mother, but actually theres a monster inside her. Chrissy doesnt necessarily hate her - most victims of abuse dont outright hate their abusers, theres usually an extremely complicated relationship of hate and love and resentment and guilt and hope etc etc which makes it all even harder to naviagte - but she internalizes her moms words and hates herself. Also why her dads eyes and mouth are stitched shut - he refuses to see and listen to the real message that her mom is sending and he refuses to do anything abt it.

I do think that had chrissy lived she would have gone to college/moved out and eventually overcome it all but unfortunately we wont ever see it 😕

--

As for wayne and eddie:

Obviously wayne loved eddie and i agree w the actors remarks in his interview. I think bc hes Wayne Munson and Eddie mentions that the Munson name has already been tarnished by his dad it means that wayne is his dads brother. So i think eddie was probably around 12 or 13 when he permanently moved in w wayne, bc he was living w his dad long enough for him to learn to hotwire cars instead of fishing and playing ball. My guess is his dad was in and out of jail for most of his life and wayne probably took care of him while his dad was in jail.

As for his mom, i know a lot of ppl probably think she ODd but im split on that. On one hand i dont think hed sell the rly hard shit if she ODd - and we know he doesnt just sell weed, ketamine is pretty intense, so my guess is he also sells acid, shrooms, maybecoke, etc. If she did OD i dont think hed sell heroin/whatever she ODd on. Plus i dont think hes ever been to jail bc he said he didnt want to end up like his dad, and heroin/crank/crack/etc is absolutely hard, life ruining shit, and also guaranteed jail time. So i can see how maybe she ODd. But I also can easily see how maybe she just up and left one day without a word. Eddie clearly has a hard time connecting (except w Chrissy lol) and opening up, and i can see how fear of abandonment might play into that - which also might be a contributing factor in his guilt bc in a way he abandoned chrissy in his trailer (he did the same thing that his mom did to him, etc).

Either way, she wasnt in the picture when wayne took him in, and i also think maybe it was 13ish bc obviously he connected w chrissy at the talent show and 8th grade is usually 13-14 so if a cute girl was nice to him during a traumatic time in his life i can see how that lasted w him. So yes wayne took him in even tho he couldnt rly afford to - pretty sure his trailer is only 1 bedroom and wayne sleeps on a camp bed in the living room, and so he couldnt afford to move to a 2 bedroom trailer. I definitely think he knew eddie sold and that eddie probably contributed to expenses w some of that money. Waynes gruff so i doubt he was all hugs and kisses but i think eddie definitely knew wayne loved him. I also think that while eddie definitely loved him - and wayne KNEW eddie loved him - eddie also maybe had complicated feelings towards him given the circumstances under which eddie moved in w him. i wouldnt be surprised if he resented him a little bit bc he associates wayne w his dad going to jail and his mom bouncing, vs seeing him as a savior, and wayne not being able to rly afford to take care of him, etc. Not logical and i think he knows its not logical but to a kid going thru trauma the feelings arent always logical (see chrissy/her mom) and get complicated

Eddie was also kind of self centered when it came to wayne. He didnt bother to clean up after himself, he left wayne to find chrissys horrifically tortured body by himself, didnt ever ask The Party to pass on a message of apology/thanks/anything to wayne, etc. He also probably didnt offer to give wayne the bedroom as he got older even tho the camp bed probably killed waynes back by now and eddie was at school while wayne slept and apparently crashed at ricks often enough to warrant a mention, and I wouldnt be surprised if he slept in his van after a night out, etc. Im not totally sure on that, bc i can also see him trying to offer up his room and wayne being like "no its fine" but idk im split.

I think had eddie lived he would have moved out at some point but still helped wayne out no matter what by getting a legit on the books job

#op #hellcheer #ask #st meta #ty!!!!

[daedalusdavinci]

hey. another character for t hat ask meme. do killer croc. waylon <3

send me a character and ill tell you…

What made me like them in the first place

ohh man. so in the late eighties (robin jay era) there was this one comic where waylon was living in the sewers w a group of homeless people, and he literally sacrificed his life to try and save them. i cant remember the comic very well at this point or the context around it all but i just remember how much he cared about them and how hard he tried to protect them and i just. sobs. ive loved him ever since

Who I ship them with

dcs not in the habit of giving waylon rlly good canon relationships that last more than like, one issue, afaik, so no one really

Random headcanon I have about them

nothing rlly that i can think of off the top of my head

My favorite moment of theirs

the aforementioned comic or the whole two seconds he existed in lonely city for before they KILLED HIM

Plotline/story I want to happen

dc should give up the stupid fucking cannibal thing and stick w protector of the homeless waylon. also i want him to have friends. please.

Any issues or insecurities I think they have

lol. lmao, even. i dont have to answer this its too easy

Favorite quote

dude that fucking panel where he tells a judge like "hey let me go" and the judge is like "ok" and he sits there like ._. wait

Kiss, marry, hug, or kill

hug

Random thing that reminds me of them

n/a

Any talents I think they might have

i dunnoooo im tireddd

On a rate from 1 to 10 how much I love them

8/10 i love him but not enough to go through all of his comics the way i do for others im obsessed with, and like, half the time hes in a story hes barely even treated like a person which is a bummer

What I think about their family

i dont even know if he has one in canon??? like i said i never went through all of his comics obsessively or anything so

Who I think should be their bff

idk abt bff but i did love he and selinas relatiosnhip in lonely city. im always crying about lonely city waylon

What animal they would be

...

Three songs that remind me of them

n/a

Favorite episode/issue/thing centered around them

umm see: favorite moment

How badly they need hugs

SO badly look at hiiiiiiiiim <3333333333333333

Favorite thing about their personality

the way he cares so much about the people no one else gives a shit about

Favorite thing about their appearance

he dresses like such a fucking dad. loser <3

Why I love them so much

hes just SOOOO <333333333 look i have the biggest spot for characters who are made to feel monstrous and wrong and go out of their way to defend other people that society discards. its the like. maybe theres something wrong w me but i wont let them convince you theres something wrong w you and the maybe im a monster but ill try to be a good monster even if no one sees it

#ashysiashy #asks

[jacobied]

hm.

jade lore lol cw abuse, suicide. this is so rambly and will make no sense probably

having a. quiet panic attack rn lol. been thinking about how isolated ive been for the past like...15 yrs. which is kind of insane to say lol i live in dt toronto and im online all the time

i dont think my parents used isolation as a tactic they like were not smart enough for tht lol ! it was just like a natural consequence w how much we fucking moved bc we were poor (like once every year and a couple times even in the middle of the school year)

the only people i saw consistently even through all the moves were my parents and their friends and their two daughters. i kiiind of grew up w them, we lived in like different parts of ontario and i only saw them like 3-4 times a year, but they stayed in the periphery of my life even through all of our moves. and then one of them outed me to my mom

ive never been good at keeping in touch w people not even w my own family. all my family except for my dad lives in china and they speak a language i barely know. my dads been abusive since i was in like grade school and even before the abuse got bad tm we barely ever talked to each other. i never see my mom but when i do shes also abusive ft their comically shitty divorce era. so isolation was always sucky reality but a safe one idk. i didnt have parents to support me but at least when they left me alone i didnt have to worry about getting hit or screamed at lol

all that just. built into a pattern of me fucking up any kind of social support/health i manage to build every couple of years. there were like a couple months in hs and college where i'd be completely nonverbal and like... complete shut down bc of how depressed and suicidal i was. i had no idea why it was happening and everyone thought i was mad at them but the idea of existing and taking up space froze me

i've deleted and remade my tumblr before, my instagram twice now bc it felt like i was killing myself. the longest standing sm i've had thats actually also gotten me to where i am in my career is twitter so ofc that seems to be the app swandiving into hell lollll

im like trying, working on better coping mechanisms and i think im doing better lately. but theres still this deep aching loneliness thats been building up frm over a decade tht im reckoning w bc the brain fog is lifting.

i straight up didnt know my mind could feel so clear if that makes sense? but im also just feeling the brunt of All Of This pretty head on now and its super overwhelming and idk. its like im so far behind in my life compared to everyone i know. also bonus Gender Thoughts and relationships thoughts and an ex who said she loved me and it just didnt feel real bc i didnt feel real

all this + just the constant worry of my industry and my career crashing down around me and how i literally have no back up plan lol. my back up plan for the longest time was to just die. i want to stop feeling like i have to kill parts of myself i want to live to be w my friends and i really want to pitch my ogn. im so excited about all that but it feels so abstract and far away

#its 1 am #i feel less panicky now tht i wrote some of tht out #im listening to scps rn idk what else to do #jade.exe

[treecove]

hey i know you are new to gear but the reason that sol and ky dont get together is mostly because sol first met him when he was like 16 and that is how he sees ky for most of his life and hes like just getting out of that now 👍 likewise w/dizzy and testament as tes took a parental role in her life in a similar way to johnny and her original adoptive parents.

its also like. "fair" to say ky is a traditionally bad father but the reason he had to get sin away from him and take up the throne was because otherwise the UN senate was going to kill his wife and child so he made a tough but rational decision for his sons safety. its easy to say these things w/o a lot of knowledge but it can be like. concerning to see in the tag. sorry.

im just watching a breakdown video series that doesn't have the specifics so i rly didn't know any of this stuff or anyone's ages or relationships and just a quick overview of what happens in the timeline. so. huh. ok

i haven't got to the part that ur talking abt when it comes to sin? all I got to was sol trying to kill ky or sth and sin being like 'i hate my dad lol'

also i think if ur gonna name ur kid 'sin' because a gear (dizzy) and a human (ky) making a baby is bad so i think just w that context imo he sucks.

absolutely no clue what or why ur saying me being unaware of sth is 'concerning' like pls u can just say that 'hey ik u don't know this but sol and ky knew each other when ky was younger and testament and dizzy have a more parental role' w/o being.... vaguely accusatory?

like i didn't know and the person who got me into the game didn't tell me these things either, but w this knowledge in mind i retract those things. idk ik ur being informative but this is really weirdly phrased and calling it 'concerning' is. idk.

but anyways i still think ky sucks

#ik u didnt mean anything by it but wow its alarming to ha e someone in ur inbox #lowkey treatinf ur lack of information as u being ok with uh....that

[guideaus]

not to talk abt video games on this blog, esp tl*u2 (🤢🤮🤮), but i keep thinking abt how i compared wha to tl*u2 and its so weird. i dont know what to call it when that happens. i jokingly referred to it as cop propaganda in wha, but what is the thing where u try to justify/excuse (?) one thing, by bringing up an irrelevant thing...

in tl*u2, u meet the character abby, the fantasy post apocalyptic idf soldier bc neil druckmann is a weirdo, who brutally ambushes, and murders the father of the game's protag after he saves her. she did this because in the past he killed her dad, and he did this bc he wanted to kill his daughter (the protag), all those reasons and shit aside, the player most likely does not like abby because that is her introduction. she never changes her mind abt it, feels bad, sees any other side, etc., whatever. she is the immediate antagonist, and the player rightfully dislikes her like the protagonist does. the game then forces you to play abby; you get scenes like her playing catch with her police dog (who mercilessly attacks the protag/player), she is seen saving a zebra out of nowhere (paralleling to a past action the protag also did), she bonds with a kid (paralleling the father-daughter relationship of the original protag), and her scene w her dad dying is supposed to be sad (paralleling the protag's dad she kills).

in wha, the witch cops, whose names i cant even remember atm, fucking hate our 10 y/o protag. they want to apprehend her and wipe her mind because she used magic unlawfully to try and help some people, and she herself wasn't even originally a witch, which they think should be something people are born with. im being vague bc i haven't read it in a while, but the point is they've remembered this and highly suspect her of being ~evil~. the reader most likely doesnt like them, bc they're so callous towards a child who had no bad intentions. then u get this chapter with some of the witch cop's povs and the one has a bf (wow gay people!!), then they're shown being shunned by normal people (oh no, no one wants to speak to them...), then the one cop lady has a flashback of being saved by the group after she was sexually assaulted and blamed (obviously a bad thing), there might be more things beyond that chapter, but i cant remember lol.

anyways my point is both piece of media repeatedly bring up completely unrelated things in an attempt to change the viewer's opinion on the character you initially had strong feelings for either by trying to make u like them or pity them. its not bad to change your mind, but these ways feel so inorganic, like the creator has a gun to your head like "do you feel bad now..! see how sad that was? how cute that scene was?!?!" when something like playing catch with a dog who previously tried to maul the previous protag doesn't exactly make me feel better about it, or the one cop being gay has nothing to do w him kinda turning a blind eye to his coworkers aggressive behavior towards a minor. an organic way to change an audience member's mindset should be through things like the character actually changing their behavior, directly to the bad thing they did in the past. for example, if the mean attack dog was revealed to have been shown in a cage, mistreated by the soldiers, forced to fight, i might think "well, i guess, its not the dog's fault, its the horrible owners.", but i still wouldn't be like "oh i killed someone's puppy :(". when u play fetch w it as the other pov, i'm like 'hey, this is that asshole dog who hurt my character, fuck this dog." lol... im not gonna be like uwu doggo cute or whatever. and same w the witch cop characters... like ok, cool backstory, but u were still shit to the literal child, what does you being a victim of sa have to do with anything...

idk, like i finished watching extraordinary attorney woo recently, and there's a character who felt threatened by the autistic protag regarded as a genius, so mr tactician spends half the series trying to sabotage her, but he does eventually back down. he stops (one thing), then even sides with her and tries to connect (even more!). it's a good start to a "redemption arc" and changing the characters and viewer's mind abt him. he even had some "oh my family is sick, im just average, she's a genius", but the series doesn't use that as his excuse to treat the protag like shit. he goes beyond just stopping his behavior, and he can do more and actually address it w her and all that. that's a good way to change the watcher's mind.

either the character's actions change, or there is more information revealed, which i think is harder to successfully pull off. tl*u2/wha could count as that, but they weren't successful bc those other facts didn't relate to the action that got the character disliked. i can't really think of too many works that do it well, but ousama ranking when it didn't get weird last second was very good at it. the later chapters of trigun had vash in an argument w knives saying he's too quick to judge, and he doesn't know the whole truth, which i disagreed w vash's specific example used, bc imo that also didn't excuse them (if i even understood it right, i reread it over and over and never really was convinced/understood it or why it works as that, lol), but it can work when it is actually done right.

these two examples i've compared, the characters are associated with the military/police in some way, so it'd still kinda feel like propaganda, but it would've been so much easier for it to be some sort of misunderstanding first, then they try to make up for it, then i might want to give them a break or another chance, instead of seeing one is gay and ignoring what they did before lol. esp w their position, they have a "attack first, ask questions never" attitude which inherently is part of the problem. the one gay cop kisses his bf and marches off to assault this newly awakened fucking dead dude who is missing his orphan, disabled son. i don't feel bad for the cops in this situation, lol!

#personal #this is very long and is nothing. sorry FJHDFS #but yeah idk if i can call it bad writing or what #and like its kinda debatable on what it is but how the character who did the bad thing feels abt it could help lol #like if the one guy went 'wait maybe that was bad... maybe i shouldnt do that again. i'll go apologize.' that is something #instead the guy keeps glaring daggers at a kid and im supposed to like him bc he helped his cop friend?? i dont think soo #also i forgot to say but the moment thatd make the viewer dislike the character couldve been shown to be a one off moment #they dont normally do this/theyve never done it before/etc #but as i said it depends on like what the action is lol #anywayss

[surveysonfleek]

1633.

What is your favorite genre of music? im an rnb gal. but i love everything else. 

Do you believe in ghosts? kinda. id shit myself if i ever saw one so i just choose not to think about it.

What colors are the walls in your room? one feature wall is turquoise and the rest of the walls are a light grey

What is your favorite kind of cookies? subway white choc macadamia cookies, yum

What are your thoughts on euthanasia? im assuming for humans? im all for it but only if the person has a terminal illness and decides to do it for themselves

Who did you last speak to on the phone? my colleague zeke

Do you scare easily? yep lol

What was your first car? mitsubishi magna. it was a trash car that ran well with a done up stereo system. my dad got it for me knowing that id probably bang it up a bit (false) but i didnt have it for too long 

What was the last book you read? i forgot haha. i always start books and forget about them

Do you like Gatorade? i do! i just dont drink it too often

What is your dream career? im too old to have career aspirations anymore. i was never really career focused anyway. im a manager for my work now but i sorta think thats it for me lol

Favorite time of day? any time on weekends except sunday night lol

Have you ever lived somewhere that has a fireplace? no. fireplaces arent really a thing here

Have you ever donated to charity? yes

What size mattress do you sleep on? queen

Do you exercise? hardly

Do you believe in any old wives tales? not at all lol

Have you ever lived in an apartment? yes, i lived in one for the first 2-3 years of my life

What color are your bed sheets? dark blue

Are you afraid of the dark? kinda. definitely in unfamiliar places

What is your favorite kind of juice? cloudy apple or pulpy oj

What is your favorite pair of shoes? my winter boots :)

Have you ever written daily in a journal? yes! i did in 2018 i think

Do you prefer jeans or sweatpants? sweatpants of course. comfort over style for me

Are you a night person or a day person? hmm... night person as long as im home by midnight haha

Have you ever had any surgeries? no

Would you rather write the story or read it? read

Do you currently owe anyone money? my bank for my mortgage

Do you like to give people jump scares? haha sometimes!

Do you believe horoscopes are real? no

How old were you when you got your license, if you do have it? 16. i dont think i have it anymore :( i still have my second drivers licence tho

Do you want to get married someday? yes

What is your favorite fruit? banana and rockmelon

Do you like romantic movies? If so, what is your favorite? i just finished watching the high note. so cute!

What are your favorite qualities in a S.O.? kindness and loyalty

What is your favorite meal to cook? hmm i dont have a specialty :( i guess my fancy ramen

What is your favorite fast food place? hungry jacks

Did you have a lot of friends in school? yes i did actually. i dont speak w anyone anymore tho

Are you good at wrapping gifts? im not great but im def not bad

Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? ive only ever been in one serious relationship and i dont think we’re toxic

What website could you not live without? google!

What would you do if you won 1 million dollars? pay off the house, pay off our wedding and buy myself a car and save the little amount left haha

Do you like to do crafts? not really

Are any of your grandparents still alive? no :(

How many windows are in your room? one long one

What is your favorite animal? pandas

What weather is your favorite? a sunny winter day where i can sit in the sun without feeling hot

Have you ever read a book of poetry? nope

Do you have any nicknames? plenty!

What is your natural hair color? dark brown

Did you ever get detention in school? i dont think so

Do you consider yourself a pessimist? not really. im more of a realist

Do people come to you often for advice? yes, all the time. its basically my job

Have you ever had a board game night? ive had many! im long overdue tho

Do you enjoy going grocery shopping? yeah i do haha. i need to make a list otherwise ill go overboard

What is your favorite kind of candy? im not a candy kind of person. if anything, i like liquid centre things like starburst

Have you ever been to the zoo? yes

What was the best vacation you’ve ever been on? two come to mind - going to disneyworld when i was 10 and traveling w my fiance for the first time when we were 21 to san fran, la and vegas.

Have you ever traveled out of the country? yes

What are your top three favorite holidays? christmas, valentines and new year

Do you have a difficult time falling asleep? nah, i fall asleep pretty easily these days

Who is the most attractive actor, in your opinion? every time i get asked this question i can never think of anyone until afterwards

Have you ever slept nude? i tried once but i just felt weird about it

What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen? blair witch project scared me as a kid

When was the last time you went outside? earlier today

Did you have over-protective parents? i sorta did growing up. they were strict but i respected them so i didnt feel like i ever rebelled. they were pretty fair i guess

How many stories tall is your dream house? id rather a large single storey

What is your favorite thing about yourself physically? my skin atm

What does the last text you received say? 'ye’ thats it lol

Do you consider yourself to be promiscuous? not at all

Are you close to your family members? yes

Do you consider yourself a flirt? haha hell no

What emotion are you currently feeling? rundown

What was the last thing you ate? a blondie, apparently the white choc version of a brownie haha

Who do you have the most in common with? weirdly enough, my fiance

What is your favorite form of art? visual shit, mostly paintings

Have you ever had sex in a public place? yes

What is your biggest pet peeve? disrespectful people

Do you consider yourself a sarcastic person? not really. my workmates called me sarcastic once and i was appalled. maybe i do it without thinking

Do you have any obscure pets? nope

Do you think you’re an attractive person? with some makeup i sometimes clean up well

Have you ever had a blog? yes haha

Do you consider yourself politically correct? yes

What is your wifi password? its just numbers and i can never remember it even tho its been the same for years

Who was the last family member you spoke to? my sister

Have you ever won money on a scratch off ticket? yeah but small amounts only

Do you like Disney movies? of course!

Are there any candles burning in your home right now? no

Where is the person you love the most? out watching a spots game

Have you ever grown any plants or flowers? yup! i went thru a mad green thumb phase during lockdown and my plants are mostly pretty happy!

Do you consider yourself a smart person? yes

What is your favorite flavor of candy? red - strawberry, raspberry etc

Have you ever tried to follow a painting tutorial? kinda

Are you good at working on cars? im good at basic shit and thats where it ends

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

[maschotch]

I have such complicated feelings about Derek this whole episode ughhhh

For one, he went through something ridiculously traumatic and most of the team cared more about how he treated them than how he felt. He obviously went through something horrifically traumatic, on the verge of being killed and watching two people die in front of him while he was powerless, that's fucking awful even with no context of the trauma he had connected to it. I feel like that would be obvious to most people, especially profilers and just grown ass adults who have trauma from viewing deaths themselves

Especially buck wild that Penelope wouldn't be more empathetic towards him, not just because of their relationship but because he LITERALLY SPENT ALL OF THE TIME TWO EPISODES AGO COMFORTING HER BECAUSE SHE WAS BREAKING DOWN AFTER SEEING SOMEONE BE MURDERED and it wasn't even someone she knew. Yes, he's a profiler and views these things more and would naturally react less extremely than her, and yes I guess he shouldn't have yelled at her, but like come on its weird to me she responds the way she does in light of how he treats her in the same situation during exit wounds

On the other hand, some of the team empathizes with him. Emily definitely does the best, and Rossi doesn't hurt as much, but hotch definitely tried to help in his own stand-offish way because he knew Morgan wouldn't respond well to confrontation. And he has to take his frustrations out on him even when he's just trying to help

Yeah Morgan did his paper work but I don't see how outside of that the team was expressly "there for him" when Hailey died. I get he's passionate but it seems so fucked up that he would throw that experience back in hotchs face to get what he wants, especially putting the teams behavior towards him after foyet on a pedestal when in reality while they tried to not hurt him, i wouldn't say any of them really had his back, especially when Derek was the one openly criticizing him the whole time and arguing with him

It's also not fair to compare hotch killing foyet to Derek killing Flynn in my opinion. I think Derek compares it like it's the same situation, but I honestly think it was kind of fucked up for Derek to kill him? Hotch was angry when he killed foyet, but i truly believe he did it because he knew if foyet got back up he wouldn't stop until he killed Jack. I don't think Flynn threatened dereks life at all. He was just pissed and wanted revenge on him, which is not the same. Also the fact foyett killed hotchs first love and long-term wife while Flynn killed a detective and his sister that Derek had met like a week ago lol

there's just something a little gross to me about the show trying to make it seem like morgan has to much to apologize for when he hasn't dont anything wrong, or at least not anything that isnt understandable. bc yeah kajsdhg jhe just went through a fucking trauma... he watched a dad get murdered in front of his daughter (the same shit that happened to him when he was a kid) and now the killer's taken the kid and who knows how long she has before she's killed. akjsdhlg seems a little stressful lmao makes sense that he'd be a little snippy.

but nooo instead lets make light of the situation and laugh about how he's upset. or in the company episode lets yell at him for being selfish and remind him that he's entirely responsible for finding his cousin. or in exit wounds when he's just trying to find out if garcia saw anything important, he's actually completely out of line and being totally inappropriate by... asking her question s

penelope reid and jj all act like he's being completely ridiculous and ignroing the shit he went through like a couple hours ago. hotch and emily at least seem a little more empathetic, which is nice, but considering that morgan's closer w penelope reid and jj it seems particularly fucked up that they're the ones who don't seem to give a shit about him or his feelings. especially since he's so attentive to their mental wellbeing.

i agree that morgan crossed a line when he threw the foyet thing in hotch's face, but truthfully i'm not that surprised. considering how morgan acted during that whole thing, it makes sense to me that he'd be insensitive about it. morgan was the one who was openly antagonistic towards hotch during foyet: questioning every decision, doubting every action, etc. and i think its suuuuuper interesting that morgan sees nothing wrong w the way he handled that. especially bc we know he's capable of being supportive (even in cases where the person is being an idiot about it, like reid in memoriam), its fascinating that morgan can look back on how he treated hotch and say that he had his back. like... if that was morgan being supportive, it makes me wonder what morgan actually wanted to do in that situation

morgan killing flynn and hotch killing foyet aren't the same at all.... but there's so much different about both situations that idek if you could even really compare them. foyet was an unsub whose personal mission was to make hotch as miserable as possible; flynn wasn't after morgan at all, even in the end. foyet said "i surrender" and hotch continued to beat him to death w his bare hands; morgan said "if you point your gun at them (the hostages) i'll kill you" and flynn raised his gun and morgan shot. hotch knew that there was no convincing foyet to stop; morgan didnt even try, even when flynn was having a change of heart. foyet wanted to see what hotch would do, how far hotch would go, what hotch was capable of; flynn wanted to die and knew morgan would kill him. i dont think morgan killing flynn was as emotional or dramatic as hotch killing foyet, but i dont think it was as justified either

overall, i just dont think this episode was written well. it was suppposed to be a morgan ep, but it was more about some random white guy. nearly everyone belittled morgan the whole time and the most compelling part of the ep was this little girl taking on this guy by herself (which then they completely ignored so jj could have her stupid little speech). jakshflkad i dont usually like criminal minds two parters/finales anyway, so idk if i like this more or less than the others, but theyre definitely episodes i typically skip on a rewatch

#asks #cm crit

[galaxygrv]

ahh hollow being close to front and influencing my (spyte) own emotions towards things is certainly,, Something. its not like its out of the ordinary for us to bleed over neutral or positive opinions + emotions + etc. but like.. this is more negative stuff (which is a little more uncommon, but not rare). its mainly bcuz they dont like any ship content between them and their sourcemates. this is not good bcuz a good 50% of the fan content we see is ships w either quirrel or grimm (and another 50% of those ships arent fucking tagged w the ship names so theyre almost unavoidable). they Do Not like either of them for almost the same reason. theyre repulsed by most people (irl + in source) and they esp dont like romance. quirrel is okay as a person (boring + annoying but not the worst to sit in silence around), and they just dont feel anything towards him and they feel disgusted when they see the fan content. feelings r the same w grimm, they dont like him (boring + annoying again !!! how wonderful) and think hes off putting in the worst way possible.

anyways im neutral towards the ships on a day theyre not bleeding over to me but the days they are,,, wow. okay. hatred and disgust vibes x500

(this is not to say the ships themselves r gross, its perfectly fine to ship them lol. these r just our hollows feelings abt it)

below the read more is in depth stuff abt their dislike of a lot of people cuz they want to talk abt it but its gnna make the post too long lol. also ⚠️ cw for calling people/relationships unreal in a serious way? idk what to call that so its not tagged but heres the warning ⚠️

our mom is okay in their opinion, shes interesting to them and likes us and doesnt get mad at us that often and almost never argues w us. our father though.. he argues with them all the time. anytime he speaks theres always a problem and hollow does Not have a filter so they end up getting pissed and arguing and then its a whole Thing for a few hours and our dad just starts screaming at a point etc. etc. they also generally dont think hes interesting and theres nothing to benefit from interaction w him. sooo 0/10 for dad, 7.5/10 for mom bcuz she does get after us for our arfid and thats beyond annoying.

also, our friends piss them off regularly. they often feel like snapping at them and getting mad but hold back most of the time cuz they know i would cry my eyes out if we even had a minor disagreement. the only times they dont stay quiet abt it is when i agree w them (typically out of confusion on my part).

they also seem to b the main source of our whole "we are the only real people. everyone else doesnt actually exist. no one has real emotions or lives, we're the only ones who actually exist." thing. so thats a bit telling of one reason why they dont like many people. this happens especially with our brother and most people we see once and never again. they also feel this when they see others in sexual, romantic/romance adjacent, or generally affectionate (?) relationships.

its.. very strange to see others be in love and then only have the thoughts and vibes of "thats not right! why are they doing that? thats disgusting, i cant believe thats something they would do in front of us! what the fuck! that looks/is so unnatural!" etc. etc. its like.. x20 strength when we witness someone we're close to doing it. we've been in relationships before, and the feeling only gets worse as time goes on while we were in the relationship.

it also happens to ANY physical touch. handshakes, fist bumps, hugs, kisses (platonic or not), hair touching, cuddling etc. is all disgusting to them (and whoever is close enough to feel it too)

its. also very difficult to get their approval. i think i understand what "they dont like many people, so dont be surprised if they dont like you" means now. they even have neutral feelings towards the other members of the system, and they only like me moderately enough to talk to me.

so uh. i think its safe to say hollow is our main holder/source of repulsion towards people and any sort of relationships. i was wondering where the feelings would come from because they seemed to come and go at random, but i think i got it now :P

#🌀 #🐾 #our posts #cw vent #vent cw

[queendeeshorrorimagines]

Hey 👋 thank you for answering my prev ask.

So i want a male slasher matchup.

I'm 21, INFP, pisces sun scorpio moon, 5ft2in, currently undergoing diet (and i lost 4 kg in 3 weeks ). I have brown indian skin color. I have curvy waist (for which i was sexually harrassed at young age) and kinda big ass ( for which my girl friends spank me ). I'm straight, black boycut hair, round face with chubby cheeks and D-cup.

I look younger than my age, people usually confuse me to be 15-16 (lmao), i love reading, studying , singing, painting, and writing stories and getting it published in magazines ( i mainly do ghost stories). I love Abandoned Places 😍 i feel like they tell stories of the pasts. I also like anime , disney princess and Murder Documentaries (lol the duality).

I'm good at household chores. I like cleanliness. I can't cook but willing to learn if need be. I rarely go to college but manage to get above average marks. My profs love me a lot and always support me. Strangers really love me , like i can talk to a random stranger venting about their life for solid 2 hours even if i was running late. I have a hard time saying no to people.

Growing up with a delusional narcissistic cheating dad who had an affair with 6 girls younger than my age and seeing my mother cry everyday, i have a hard time trusting men. I know all men are not same but my dad's deed still haunt me. Because of this, i dont have much expectations from relationships. My love language is Quality Time and Acts of Services. I don't come online too much, i usually reply after 3-4 days. I really don't have any ideal relationship scenarios so please give me whichever you think best suits me. I can give the world to someone but don't expect much from them. A unique thing of mine is that whenever i hurt myself or is in pain(period cramps etc) i don't show it and simply go on with my life until someone figures it out and asks me. If it gets too painful I'll cry when no ones looking. But it does feel nice to hug someone ( usually i hug my cousin sis and let it all out ). Currently I'm taking care (nursing) of my mom because of her health and hysterectomy.

As a partner , i can say i would be very supportive and will always push my s/o to their best. I will always be there for them in time of need. Im quite good at reading people's mood so if they're having a bad day I'll know it and prepare something for them or give them some time alone. I would never force my partner to anything even talking to me if i see they are exhausted or had a bad day.

My dressing style is oversized tshirts , running shoes for basic style. For special events, i wear classy burgundy or magenta peplum tops or satin tops with velvet pants and gold beaded wedges.

For kinks, i have none maybe bcus im a virgin. But yes i still want an nsfw matchup if you're okay with that.

And that's it 😛 i hope i didn't flood you with my description. Thank you in advance 💖😘

Im so sorry for the late response, I hope you enjoy!

I ship you with.... Leslie Vernon!

When Leslie first saw you, his intentions was to make you his final girl. But the more he "watches" you, the more he realizes that there's more to you than the perfect academic student who has the charisma to be open around people. It surprises Leslie when you can read him like an open book, especially since all of his slasher trainings taught him how to be emotionless in the sense of killing.

The more he gets to knows you, he knows that he has to show you that he's not like the man your father was. He loves how caring you are when it comes to the people you love. Leslie would let you take the lead when it comes to affection because he wants you to be comfortable with him.

Leslie adores your comfortable aesthetic and thinks you're perfect the way you are, supporting you in any way he could. He might've admired your ass a few times in the beginning of your relationship but he didn't want you to think he was a perv. He loves how supportive you are and would protect you from anyone who would want to harm you.

Leslie could tell when you're in pain, there's times when he will get you a little care area set up with your favorite blanket and snacks, letting you pick out any movie you'd like. If you're all for cuddling the pain away, Leslie is the perfect furnace to help soothe your pains.

NSFW wise, Leslie has had a couple experiences with a woman or two in his lifetime before settling down to become a slasher. He would watch your reactions to see what kinds of things pleasure you more. If you talk to him about anything you want to try, Leslie is all for trying most things at least once (except things that actually can hurt you. Most he would do is spank your ass if you wanted that)

Other possibilities: Brahms Heelshire, Jesse Cromeans, Jason Voorhees

#matchup 0024 #delightful-dreamers ask #slasher matchup #slasher matchups #queendeeshorrorimagines

[oni-tengu]

okay this idea kicked my ass and i wanted to do all 12 beta trolls but i got this far and i was DONEEE. anyway.

kind of an excuse to draw them how i'd style them, kind of got away from me when i started to fantasize an AU for them lol. basically how it'd be if i made a homestuck earth C spinoff /MSPFA

info about the AU below (gamzee w scars at the bottom)

this is very self indulgent so read at ur own risk hahah

its all the kids, calliope, beta trolls and dancestors n its one of those "what if trolls lived on earth from the beginning" things so not TECHNICALLY earth c but maybe it is??

the trolls as a species migrated to earth before the beta trolls were "born" and a lot of their history got muddled so theyre not really 100% aware that they have any ties to the ancestors EX) signless. theyre still relatively new to earth though so its still in the age where theyre trying to integrate humans and trolls together in society n humans dont know much about trolls and their culture etc

overall it parallels canon but i get to choose the ships and everyone's alive (: dancestors n beta trolls live with their respective "relative" and the beta trolls' lusii. the larger and more dangerous lusus, like vriska's spider-mom is a tarantula sized lusus, feferi's is able to fit in a 20 gallon tank, and gamzee's is more like...human sized. ETC.

the humans have altered relationships to each other, and their parents aren't ecto-clones or whatever the fuck but just. people. parents. bro sucks n dave goes to live with dirk n his dad at 12 y/o. some are half-siblings, some are cousins, some are step-siblings, etc.

calliope i haven't totally figured out, except that she's the dominant sibling and caliborn is just in the back of her head but she doesn't let him come out. also callie and roxy r dating <3 (:

my bias is toward karkat and the alphas basically, so i mostly focused on them but my style is ALSO very slice-of-life so everyone gets a little drama (: there's some dave + karkat and karkat + gamzee drama 4 sure mhmm

beta humans and trolls are 3 years younger than alphas, alphas are three years younger than dancestors. so when john is 13, jane is 16, and dancestors are 19.

they also have awareness of SBURB/SGRUB and have dream selves. literally i just wanted derse and prospit lol but if i had to make logic for it, maybe its just that this IS earth C and the reason the trolls left alternia was bc SGRUB blew it up. i dont know. dont look at me im doing my best.

thats all i wanna share thanks for coming to ted talk

here's gamzee with scars just bc this was an alternate i made i guess

#oni art #homestuck #fanart #alpha kids #beta kids #calliope #karkat vantas #gamzee makara #dave strider #john egbert #rose lalonde #jade harley #dirk strider #jane crocker #roxy lalonde #jake english