#i don't wanna be in a gc

[confinesofmy]

lmao someone invited me to join a groupchat today and i immediately said no. what chutzpah. can you imagine. you ask someone to join your gc full of people they seem to like perfectly fine and they're just like "nah man, no way. i'm good." what would you even make of that.

#i'm not saying i was wrong bc i wasn't #i just find it really funny #technically it's just like rejecting an invite to a party #but the person in question also doesn't have my number yet and ig she was too shy to ask after i rebuffed her asgjhd #i must seem so aloof #and maybe i am #i don't wanna be in a gc #i don't know them like that and i don't want to <3 #adam talks too much

[hungerpunch]

too much public focus on the reader's experience of a fic. too much framing the reader as the expert. the fic is for the writer. the writer is the expert on their work. you don't like it? zip your lil lid and hit the back arrow. it's like. so simple 😐

#the way people get off on like criminalizing trends in writing or #insisting on positioning themselves as the arbiter of quality #you are the reason writers dont wanna write and fandoms die lol #bitch in the gc like someone with manners and move around ! damn #now pls don't construe this as me saying we should not address bias and prejudice in fic. #bc that is not what i am talking about. #y'all do not even leave enough comments to complain like this. what do you do around here. #fandom talk #driveby post

[storytellering]

.

#Can't believe I even have to say this but unfriendly reminder! #if you reblog my shit just to be rude in the tags expect to be blocked! #like literally i dont give a shit about trolls antis whatever. online people will be online ppl whatever #but people being needlessly rude about strangers' art boils my blood #whether its my own or anyone else's #you do know that artists see your tags when you reblog our posts right? #you're not yelling in an echo chamber with your buddies. #if you wanna make fun of my art in private with your friends i literally don't care nor can i stop you #but for god's sake learn some basic fucking decency #signed: an artist very tired of seeing how needlessly rude and cruel younger people are about art in this day and age #it's not fucking cool to clown on someone's art/style to their faces and if you think it is you need to be taught a harsh lesson #also social media is way more public than you think it is #learn to use fucking gc's and dm's people #don't you have friends you can yap to

[lucienarcheron]

She watched him, her gaze roaming his handsome face, dipping to his lips for a split second before meeting his eyes again. “I’m thinking…” she began and swallowed, her heart in her throat. “That the Eris I’ve been getting to know is one I don’t mind being around so much.” /  It was this tone that had her licking her lips before very, very quietly adding, “I’m also thinking that I would like to kiss you but I’m scared and it — it feels like too much.” ❥ “I’m thinking,” Eris began, his voice dropping an octave. “That I would really like to kiss you too but if I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.” he said simply and Iris’s heart began beating even more wildly in her chest. “I’m thinking about how I don’t think you’ve been kissed the way I want to kiss you and it excites me more than it should.” Spirit Meets the Bones

#eris vanserra #eris x oc #eris vanserra x oc #eris x iris #eiris #smtb #gc #listen I'm struggling with writing so all I've been doing is making moodboards and edits and whatever #here are mediocre edits because I don't wanna think about words lol #it's fun!!! #also this is hozier's song first time hehe #a version of this is phone lockscreen btw lmao #these lines are from chapter 13 hehe

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Okay.

Okay.

OKAY.

The makeup segment. Omfg. I loved that so much. I think it just kinda hit close to home for me with what Lacey was saying. Not like. Everything. But some of her words resonated with me. Her telling Jay if she was more feminine she wouldn't have died. I'm not dead obv, but it kinda hit close to home. I can't put it into words, I'm still kinda in sleepy brain mode.

But I just felt like "Wow, that hit me a bit." And Lacey's whole little filter of pretending to be okay after seeing Jay's corpse also hit. She's trying to put up a front and make herself believe she's okay. There's nothing wrong. It's okay. Just put a little bit of makeup on yourself and see! It's all okay!

...

Yeah. That's my take, of course. I could definitely be far off or close yet not quite there. But sometimes people have their own interpretations.

#sam's talky talks #I'm having fun. They're talking in the GC but I don't wanna put in my own things so I'm gonna put them here

[horiizonsstuff]

the knorr cubes 😠 knorr western,,, cuz my week was actually shit so ended up making them as free therapy @beumdi @bruhstation (they're forcing me to memorize medical terms 😠‼️)

Bonus thing I sent in my class gc to cope:

I stg the entire ep of James to the Rescue was James trying to flex on his boyfriend while Toby was like "BITCH U CANT DO IT 😠‼️ ASK ROCKY FOR HELP ALREADY 😠‼️‼️‼️‼️"

#zoro's blogs #admin post #thomas and friends #casa tidmouth #The little western are gossiping #Gossiping about my fake ass 😠‼️ #Marites moments going on with the little western papercrafts #I'M SOBBING BECAUSE DOUGLAS LOOKS SO OUT OF PLACE 😭 #AYOKO NA #The only reason he looks saturated cuz I printed him at the wrong side of the paper 😠‼️ #they became therapy for me tbh while I made them #The therapy I deserve #If yall have papercrafts templates of your own #Pls let me make them I wanna have little papercrafts heads on my work space #also don't mind the bonus pic #I was going crazy #When they announced that we weren't having online exams and our Monday exams moved next week 😠 #I went crazy that I sent that ss to my class gc 😠 #anyways hope yall doing swell 😇 #Bahala na lang if ng buang na ko sa midterms 😠 #Anyways 😇 #ttte duck #ttte oliver #ttte douglas #ttte donald

[mulletmitsuya]

If you take requests with your gc's maybe something with Mitsuya dating someone else (like Smiley ig, I'm a crack shipper sorry) and everyone trying to hide it from Hakkai or something.

Anon, ngl I don't know if I can execute this properly. I usually suck at the actual ship aspect😭 But I'll try. If I can't and it's not working out, I'll let you know and try to make up for it :))

#i don't wanna lie and say i can do it bcs what if i let you down with a shit gc😭 #but i do love this concept and would love to read it myself tbh i love crack ships as well #mine are ridiculously absurd #bestie talks ^^ #ty for the ask <3

[madaranuii]

Calico the party animal..... IM GOIN 2 A PUB 2 NIGHT!?!????

#𖥔 : madaranuii.ramblez!! #not drinkin thou!! i don't drink lol #MY 1 FRIEND WHO TRIED 2 RIZZ ME UP IS COMIN 2 OMFG..... #i have all of 2 friends here and ive spoken to only 1 in himan once #WE JUST TALK ON DISCORD LMFAOOO #Omg wanna hear the story #....??? BASICALLY #he was movin in ++ we added each other in disc bcz therez a whatsapp gc 4 our dorm block!! ++++ he asked if he could come 2 my room so #i was like!!!! sure!!!! ++ WE NET UP + FIRST THING HE DOES IS READ A NOTE I LEFT 4 MY ROOMMATE INTRODUCING MYSELF ++ CALLZ ME CUTE.... #HE ALSO COMPLIMENTED MY HAIR +++ WE SPENT LIKE 4 HOURZ IN HIS ROOM LISTENING 2 MUSIC ++ CHATTING #+++ AT ONE POINT HE LAY DOWN ON HIS BED + ASKED ME 2 JOIN HIM??!??? #I got vvvvvv shy and declined thou i have NO rizz to my name LMFAO #BUT YEAAAH!!!!! :333 #bro ive been here 4 a week... got rizzed up once... got complimented sm by old ladiez which is so sweet ++ ...... Morrisons pickles.......

[zaggyzoo]

really don't wanna go help with math homework today

#i wanna stay home and shower and rot on the couch 😔 #also unrelated but had a bit of a revelation today after some things were said in a gc with some irl friends and my first thought was that #i would never tell them stuff about my sexuality and stuff bc it's not their business #lmaoo #ig it was just a simple realization of how i don't feel close to them anymore that i don't wanna talk about myself ever but dkjcjcuvi 👍🏻 #(also it wasn't something negative btw. the stuff that was said fjjcjcjfi i didn't mean to make it sound like that)

[sprnklersplashes]

-

#I finally get a strong friendship group and now it may fall apart bc my friend's bf is a zionist. i hate it. #and ik i shouldn't want to be mates w him (atp I'm pretty sure I don't) #but it sucks #i don't wanna post in our gc or go out w my friends or my bestie in case he's there. he's given me shit twice publically in the gc #regardless of whether he starts shit im gonna be uncomfortable and won't know how to act #and also trying to convince him now that palestinians deserve to live is gruelling.

[womantichrist]

Sometimes people follow me and I'm like...are you sure you meant to do that?

#like I don't wanna block anyone from seeing different points of view if that's what they're interested in #I just don't wanna freak anyone out when their dash fills up with radfem/gc stuff #I refer you to the post about not being allowed to get mad at me if you ever interact with this blog

[unproduciblesmackdown]

april autism acceptance month posting, the musings of (going for Self Acceptance as well) from the desk of milo unproduciblesmackdown....

mostly just having reflected on like, huh, might be that By And Large one is more nonspeaking than one thinks....that i've Been like "well sure in person i'm usually markedly Quite Quiet but also secretly a mile a minute chatterbox." like already aware of factoring in the Quietness in terms of like, generally always having been in everyday situations where i don't Want to talk. which also means being aware of like, someone the other day was talking about how the ""normal"" approach (which is not even simply Non Autistic, just the "ideals" in any sense that are Not That, yet positioned as such, to the disempowering Othering of others/anything else) is that verbal exchanges are often nigh exclusively about coming into it with some Goal in mind and just being dead set on that exact inflexible outcome / the other person's input can probably really only get in the way of that. used to be asked How Was Work by family and if i answered in the accurate negative would be told how it wasn't that bad actually; then why even ask. nowadays i know i'm virtually only spoken to to say something At Me; the other day frustrated by this & had an "exchange" where, when being [Talked At] for a sec, didn't really verbally respond at all, which was not considered a wrench in the proceedings in the least, as i expected........relevantly as well, i'm v aware of Talking becoming markedly more difficult if drained &/or stressed (or, w/immediate relevancy, the Talking being especially miserable atm, causing that exhaustion/stress w/high efficiency). that somewhat more Freestyle "normal" communication can include "you have to speak to acknowledge another person's presence, or its hostile" and that speaking is the especially Hollow Scriptathon of things like, getting hit with the "how are you [misgendering]" which, absorb the punch of misgenderment, gear up for Speaking which also is already "wrong," too much delay, remember that you never answer How Are You with how you are, and sometimes just not Pretending to answer and just repeating the question is not particularly more negatively regarded than any other way you approach it

musing on the [it's all bizarre but definitely getting shit for being audhd / nonbinary] childhood / first twenty yrs of life mysteries, like, well when being lectured as it were, which was nothing if not an intensified hollow scriptathon (see: the perfectly harmonious resonance in "how you navigate existing around an abuser" and "how you navigate existing anywhere but expressly personally friendly/safe spaces, being autistic") too demeaning to be borne, where it would be wrong to not make eye contact, then making forced eye contact (and learning how to just like, approach it as a [go through the motions] detached thing) was also wrong, it was wrong to not seem distressed and also to seem distressed; and it's like oh yeah back then & even now i can be as Stressed as anything but there's always a shift where if i make myself Talk i may cry like immediately, which i virtually never do out of otherwise being unhappy/stressed. there's how one of my most genuine friendships in elementary school (the autistic time as well of: many/more friendships from all public school times were other people Deciding we should be "friends;" sometimes this being like, the friend In Charge, and then: me, conveniently) was one where i don't think we actually Spoke. may not be a typical neurotypical thing. there's also the fact our being Distracted by interacting, that is, [not talking] during not even a lesson where the stakes were like "you haven't put this sheet in your folder at the exact time Instructions demanded you to, no sooner or later???" was punished more dramatically (and individually. classic) than i ever saw anyone get for Being Distracted / Not Paying Attention or certainly for talking. very nd of me for that too; like the Especial disdain teachers would have if i Was talking and too caught up in the exchange to notice it was supposed to be the quiet times now, which of course was wilfull disrespect for authority.....like oh but believe me i have that too lmfao, and these instances do not counter it. f for my friendship with jacqueline b/c we weren't allowed to sit next to each other and the disproportionate/extraordinary qualities of the response made it so it was hardly clear we were even allowed to interact at all, for all intents and purposes. great

certainly verbality at all can be a whole challenge too overall, but w/focus on the speaking....truly the mile a minute speaking / voluminous writing of things Happens, but it's sure when i get to talk About something, and the High Motivation boost of [whatever's being talked about] is quite necessary b/c it sure still takes effort lol....This is taking effort, to be sure. meanwhile there's also the damper of like, people's Disinterest / Dismissal meaning that just b/c you talk doesn't mean anyone hears you, to an extent it's nigh literal lol, beyond double empathy problem misunderstanding (plus that: ppl know they don't have to understand, &/or can choose to (pretend to) misunderstand / know they don't get it, but don't have to) there's also just like, not bothering to process what you say; being the one talked over like you weren't saying anything, lack of any response at all like you weren't saying anything, someone else cutting in and you may as well no longer be here / nth wheeling in any group. the times i've had to say something which needs a response / to be absorbed, and fighting for my life doing so / reiterating like half a dozen times / repeating this later, multiple times, b/c i know someone may give you the "politeness" of Looking At You / nominal spoken stock responses, while not absorbing it / forgetting it after 5 sec..........to be sure, times i've had an extensive, specific, belabored exchange (plus alllll the extra effort to emphasize Amicability in it) that got such responses, only to have it later clear they didn't actually absorb the point they'd apparently gone "right, okay" to. times i've [that] and then 5 min later had the person i'd talked to come over to be like "oh did you say [the thing i said to them]" only b/c some third party had overheard and actually processed it, then in turn had what They conveyed to that person i'd talked to actually listened to; had "i am once again asking" agonies multiple times over months & months only eventually fulfilled, spontaneously, by someone else entirely....

also that, when i Was able to having amicable, comfortable, in-person exchanges, my ""small talk"" friendly engagement to nonhostilely acknowledge someone / have an exchange involves Verbal Bits (running gag for Dinnermaking Convo to pretend to be on iron chef, and all named chef geoff, for example) or Nonverbal Ones (entering one's peripheral vision and dancing until acknowledged, to be funny, or ignored, also to be funny) or even simply that the amicability can come from other people, in spite of it all, by just not interpreting my operating while being myself and not constantly going out of my way to try to expressively reassure someone i'm friendly to them being met with [people just not deciding they hate me and/or i am beneath them] like, some great times lol. friendships where we didn't Really start talking for eons, and i go "guess people gotta be patient" like well sure lol. and then they gotta like how i Do interact

and the next bit of "can't believe you keep learning; realizing things" is just going like "ohh wait, was thinking of one's inherent value within a framework of [noninherent value you can so totally Bootstraps Earn we swear]" lol like....even in terms of like "nd people are the backbone of your fandom" type things like, well yeah they are; and that "sometimes people think it's neat that you can draw" like yeah it is and sometimes they really are; but that it's like, but Forget It re: thinking of that like "well so that Makes Up For [being autistic] as it might usually negatively impact socializing by 'normal' standards" like, to hell with making up for anything. i like to post about interests and draw about them and it's fun when people enjoy them and it can be fun to Talk About something / interact through that; it's not like "ableism: over" nor making up for anything, and what can really come of thinking it has to be Valued by how it might make other people see You as more inherently worthwhile yourself than they otherwise would've, right. i'm like "well i don't always express myself xyz ways but at least i do in other ways i suppose" but end the sentence before the But. i'm not As Good(tm) As Allistic through the [expressing myself] i do through drawing, and that's fine b/c autistic ppl having talents people value isn't the antiableism key lol. next i can be [tfw autistic ppl try to go Above & Beyond at work to "make up for" being autistic] or employers being like "hey maybe hire autistic people" not to be Inspirationally Inclusive in theory or whatever but b/c it's like, they'll be exploitable / valuable as exploited employee. like how autistic people get fired or burned out and then it's like whoops, we need like 5 new hires to replace them; who wasn't promoted, paid, or recognized as doing 6 ppl's work. everything being [popularity contest] actually. not to say Posting For Fun is the exact same as formal job lmfao nor randos like employers; but essences remain, see: that resonance with [reacting to abuser's attention] behavior and [interacting with randos out & about, trying to be deemed Friendly Normal Correct enough] behavior. the throughline that people won't regard you as having inherent value unless they regard people as having inherent value, on principle

i do have peak success like, an art post is very tl;dr billboard for Your Existence lol. and then if people are interested enough in whatever brand of [saying shit] i do? probably promising start to whether interactions with me won't be [their interest is exhausted within a day] lol. find some fellow nd people by crossing paths via interest, which is a Talk About Something thing. and even then, of course, you're not guaranteed friends with every other nd person. Spontaneous Alignments, everyone's friend....while at this juncture it's like, hmm, maybe i Am actually not like. theoretically interested in [i want to have new friendships] lmao. thinking about what they're supposed to be? what i could even think of them hypothetically being? invokes no [i want that] feelings. thinking of someone else saying, in a different context, how he doesn't think anyone's Guaranteed any kind of companionship, which i agree with (vs. ppl talking about it like Bootstraps Merit like yes you can Deserve a romantic partner, and Deserve friends too, and a general appeal/likability/personableness will be concomitant w/a Deserving person); thinking of someone else talking abt, in a different context, how her experience being racially othered means she just doesn't end up liking being around people at all / prefers being alone. the first guy talking about how he doesn't Preclude new relationships but he also approaches w/deliberation like, navigating being content being alone. thinking abt stuff talking about [autistic ppl who want romantic relationships] that mention ppl having to go ahead and work on being okay with the idea they may very well never have one. the questioning of [relationships] and [community] in a consciously political context; what's it mean for someone to have Relationships, be in a Community, would that be Required of them for them to deserve / get to expect to receive [xyz] that everyone theoretically would. thinking of relationality as acknowledgment of the realities of ways things, incl people, affect each other, the results of that

that's about all lol might "ideally" be more nonspeaking than i gave myself credit for; only shifting towards "i give myself inherent value on principle and can only be regarded as having inherent value by others Also on principle" like no [bootstrapping earning shit] as a way to also see value in what i do either lol

#extremely delayed BaDumTsh yesterday like ''oh yeah that fanbase that Was smallish for several years that i Was generally active in and Was #trying to socialize in b/c it seemed like the thing you do?'' like yeah i knew i could barely bring myself to talk in an overall groupchat #(b/c i don't like real time exchanges usually; hadn't really talked directly much w/many of the people in it lol) and i also know that this #trepidation was interpreted as ''well they were invited but guess they don't wanna participate'' lmao like classique. which in turn is like #yeah now i'm really loath to just pop in lol. and say something for a [oh shit did salsa kill someone's parents] effect #and i also already knew that there were like two or three Other groupchats for that fandom i was not at all privy to over the yrs lmao #but yesterday it was like ''oh that was a general groupchat everyone was in? yeah i never even heard of that one lmao'' #which if The Person Reading This is who told me: do not be embarrassed lol it is Extremely Irrelevant emotionally #like i Already learned from those experiences [yeah i wasn't in the gcs] and [yeah i was peripheral socially] and [yeah i always felt kinda #out of place / agonized Trying to socialize More / Right b/c it was just clearly: gonna be like that lmao] #like being that backbone of a fandom ndly or being that [your posts are approved] contributor: you're still a rando; still autistique w/it #never ''made up for'' anything and would never have #shoutout to us second graders becoming friends through spontaneous indoor recess lego parallel play #enough of a: #long post xoxox

[thestonelady]

The Flower from Tiamat's Fire Appreciation Week Day 7 - World/Crossover

@ftf-appreciationweek

Warning: long post, read the rest under read more

Nikkal and Rix grew as close as siblings since May. After all, they went through the fight for their third seasons together. Darea herself was enchanted by the mages and quickly forgot about the grudge she held against Nikkal for "attempting to replace her". Meanwhile Ethan was starstruck by the technology this world holds. Su became friends with Stortia and Paulina rather quickly, and Niall befriended Graut. Iyar got splendidly along with Hotch and Gars.

Artemis and Nikkal left the others behind that day and went hunting. While Nikkal wasn't as good as her brother with the bow, she was still decent.

Meanwhile, Su and Aphrodite were fast friends, and Kingu exchanged eyeliner tips with Murphy.

Nikkal and Ellaire were opposites, which probably was why they went along so greatly. Though, Ellaire did NOT appreciate Nikkal's suggestion to go the palace and show king Osmont how fire mages deal with pricks (Gisella cheered her on tho).

Taki was beyond happy with this visit. He had been right, magic exists! But some of his comments and questions did irritate the mages. During one particular incident, where Taki almost went flying, Wyatt asked Ellaire: "Why is he treating the magician poorly?"

But excluding the Taki moments, Nikkal's companions went along well with Ellaire's.

Another day, and Nikkal once again wanted to burn someone's (Yavuz Pasha's and Mehmed's) asses. Lale, Su and Niall held her back though, even when they were staring daggers at the aforementioned men themselves.

Su, alongside Nikkal, got along greatly with Lale and promised her to introduce her to Ellaire too. Niall went along quite well with Aslan and Vlad (they dragged him alongside Iyar to throw knives too), Alexandra also tagged along, curious about their magic, which Niall was more than happy to share with her and in turn listen to her experiences.

Oh the joys of being the main character with fire powers. While their personalities couldn't be more different, Nikkal was excited to meet Mei and vice versa.

Nikkal also quickly became friends with Shino-Odori, since they both had the same priorities: food. While the two were pillaging the kitchen, Su and Mei got to know each other and went along very well.

Iyar and Satoshi combined were a menace. Meanwhile Niall sat down for tea with Kazu and Takao. With Takao they exchanged their magic knowledge.

To say Nikkal combined with Vicky Walker was a danger to everyone around was an understatement. Nonetheless, the two of them didn't do anything. Vicky taught Nikkal how to use filters on her photos instead. Meanwhile Nikkal found it very inspirational how she helped overthrowing god and imagined doing the same to the 5.

The greatest issue was moving around, since, besides Niall and Kingu, none of the visitors could fly. The Angels and Demons were very shocked seeing the wingless man flying. Kingu disappeared without any words and was later found chatting with Fidero.

Last, but not least, was visiting her older "sister"

While Nikkal and Agatha were gossiping alongside Su and Rachel and Eva, Niall and Kingu were annoyed by Alexander, and whole-heartedly related with Sam. Meanwhile Iyar went along well with Alexander. Nikkal later won a round of blackjack.

They all met up in the Academy during holiday. Much chaos (and not the magic kind) ensued.

#tiamataw #nikkal #su #iyar #kr niall #kingu #rc tiamat #rc gc #rc rott #rc hot #rc dls #rc lotw #rc hs #rc cy #tiamataw crossovers #my edits #thestoneladyedits #romance club #if you wanna ask why I sometimes don't mention all characters: #it's bc I dunno how those interactions would go

[vazaez]

that’s not very cis of you

BYE🛌

It's complicated alright 😭💀

#a lil personal story about this now that the topic came up: #some time ago i started questioning my gender identity but i didnt like the spanish they/them pronouns on myself #they just didnt sit right lol #so i tried using gender neutral language (ig yall know spanish is one of the many languages that is VERY gendered #even fcking objects have their own 'gender' lmao) so yea if it pas possible i phrased what i said abt myself in a pronounless way #but when it was not possible to do that id use male pronouns to try how i felt with them. the thing is that every fucking time i did that #some dude in a gc i was in said 'dO u hAvE a D¡cK????' and it made me really uncomfy as if i needed it to be able to use those pronouns 🧍 #LITERALLY EVERY TIME so eventually i gave up because i thought what's the point of finding my identity if it wont be respected anyways? #so yea im resigned to be seen as the same I was born with the same i've always been and the same everyone knows me #dont get me wrong i dont always hate being a girl but sometimes it makes me curious how would it be if i wasnt #and i dont mind what pronouns ppl use with me most of the time as long as it's not with a bad intention #I've wondered if maybe i'm a she/they? idk i just gave up thinking about it #at least for now. i have my whole ass life to find out what or who i am so i don't feel there's a need to rush tbh #woah this rant got rlly long sorry lol idk if anyone will read this far 🏃 #btw it's not only about that guy but he made me constantly remember that most people at least here in latam are very closed minded #just like him so if i ended up finding an identity i was happy with it wouldnt be respected by most people irl anyways #i'm not in that gc anymore tho #i hope i was able to like explain well what i mean? i don't wanna seem like i gave up that easily just because some dude was being a jerk #it's just that i'm kind of an overthinker

[durtystars]

happy mother's day to the only woman in poldark who was forced to be a single mother for the first 3-4yrs of her child's life and still managed to be strong for herself and her son, while managing to forgive the father 🩷🩷🩷

#poldark #elizabeth chynowyth #elizabeth poldark #text #also you don't wanna know the amount of hcs i have abt ross dropping by and helping her with GC you really don't!!

[heavenknowsffs]

I am FUMING

#i know i am almost always funing #this is why i pay my therapist #but i have to let this out #my cousin is super important to me and tomorrow is my birthday #and like since it's during the week i am going home and celebraring in the city only on saturdsy #so i planned a few things like karaoke and going out in this bar area that's not too expensive bc i do not have money #so yeah i told everyone and said today we could go for a few beers until midnight just to spend midnight #and he was all like i will spend 30min tops with you on the 18th but will not go out whatsoever on saturday #and i was like wtf??? 1st why this tone second you could just come spend some time at my house or something like that #bc we are having dinner at my place (me and the rest of the people) and he said absolutely not #and mind you i KNOW WHY it's bc he and a couple i invited have some kind of beef i don't understand it's just gay drama you know it #but like we hang out almost every week and it has only become a problem bc last saturday they fought around him? idk man gay drama again #it's stupid okay i don't wanna go into detail bc this is not my business and frankly not really his either #so anyway he starts stating in the gc how many financial stuff he has this month and wtv and just idk being mean to me bc i invited him+ #+ to my birthday which ofc i would bc i love him dearly #and i'm like wth and i told him it's no problem i know you have a lot on your plate but like you don't have to come to a club etc #you can just come hang out and not spend any money and if you want i can get you a drink what matters to me is you're there #anyway a bunch of excuses later of i don't like nighclubs or going out partying anymore i don't have money etc #and guess what... he went partying last weekend in one of the most expensive clubs in the country #and like i would be finr eith it IF YOU DIDN'T TELL ME all these excuses #and now i was talking in the gc about next saturday and he kinda mentioned he was coming which???? ehat the fuck #i am srsly going insane i do not need this #it feels like fucking high school