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inkskinned · 10 months

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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ruutile · 7 months

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I guess I'm kinda proud of this 1 despite the fact that it looks so odd.

#art #I guess #I don't really know how to use tumblr #so sorry if this post is weird #I'm gonna try and post some of my stuff on tumblr I guess #ibispaintx #oc #oc art #oc artwork #ibispaint art #drawing #silly

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crimson-rain-smoked-flower · 2 years

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I’m not trying to attack you, but do you know that proshipper means someone who supports and romanticizes pedophilia, incest, and abuse? Your reblog on that post seems to read that you think antis just hate on people for having ships they don’t like. But it’s completely different than that. Just looking on the proshipper side of Tumblr and the internet and you can see people happily shipping children and adults and making nsfw content of such things.

i appreciate that you're not being outright hostile, but i have to say, that on its own put you above basically every anti i've interacted with.

i understand where antis are coming from, i really do. there are a lot of things on the internet that make me deeply uncomfortable, including the minor/adult ships that you mention. i don't want to anything to do with those kinds of ships and i would be happiest if i never saw them again. which is why i'm proship.

nine times out of ten, if i see that kind of ship brought up on my dash, it's because i was following an anti without realizing it, and they brought it up unprompted and untagged, to talk about how bad it is that they exist. they are the ones putting that kind of content in front of my face and making it harder to avoid.

the thing about people who ship those ships is that they're generally very aware that not everyone wants to see that kind of content, and so they tag it. they make sideblogs to talk about it. they don't go out of their way to shove it in people's faces. that means i, and everyone else who doesn't like it, can avoid it.

what antis want is for it to not exist at all. they want the tags to be purged and blocked, and for anyone who uses those tags to have their accounts deleted. and sure, that might get rid of some of it, but do you know what would happen to the rest? it would stop being tagged. people who don't want to see it wouldn't have the tools to avoid it. this isn't just a hypothetical, that's what's happened any time a fan space has tried to do that.

that's not even getting into the rabbit hole of what should be banned and what shouldn't. obviously any content that depicts real children or real life abuse shouldn't exist and shouldn't be allowed to be posted, but basically any platform that people use already enforces those policies, and there's not much of a slippery slope to go down there. if it involves real living breathing people being abused, it's bad. end of discussion.

but the same can't be said for fiction. ask ten antis for a specific list of all the content that should be banned, and you'll get ten different answers. what about kink? what about roleplay? what about horror and murder and anything that involves fictional characters being graphically tortured? what about people using art to process terrible things that have happened to them? what about art that uses dark themes as a horror element? if you just want to ban anything questionable to anyone, that's the line of thinking that gets any mention of lgbt existence banned. and again, this isn't just a hypothetical, this has happened before, and that's generally where it leads.

i know, from personal experience, that antis do, in fact, send harassment to people just for shipping things they don't like. i've gotten accused of absolutely vile shit for shipping two fictional characters who were both consenting adults. i've seen ship wars turn into moral battlegrounds, over ships that an average person wouldn't bat an eye at.

the thing about "romanticization" is a whole other can of worms. the anti logic goes like this: if someone sees something (even if it's very obviously fictional) in a positive light enough times, they will start thinking it's okay in real life, and go on to hurt real people. the problem with that is that it's just. blatantly untrue.

if it were true every horror movie fan would be a serial killer, every person that studies dark media would be an unhinged psychopath, and everyone who is into ddlg would be a pedophile. but they're not. they just aren't. people have directed movies just as fucked up as the darkest shit on ao3, and are still capable of being normal human beings who know right from wrong in real life.

even if someone is that impressionable, scrubbing away the existence of every piece of questionable content isn't going to solve their problem, because they're still going to be vulnerable to con men, scams, and cultists. the only thing that would actually materially help someone like that is developing their own morals and critical thinking.

children are also more impressionable, and there's a lot of content that's not suitable for them, but that doesn't mean that content shouldn't exist. it just means that they should stick to spaces designed for them (which most social media sites, tumblr included, are not) or, if they're old enough to be responsible for their experience online, they, or a trusted adult in their lives, should block and filter out things that they aren't comfortable with.

which is what everyone on the internet should be doing. it's what i do, and it's made the internet a much more pleasant place to be. and it's why i sometimes worry for antis mental health, especially teenagers, because they're being told it's right and moral to seek out content that makes them uncomfortable and to engage with the people making it. and that's just. really bad. it's not good for the creators that they're harassing obviously, but it's also really bad for them! it's not healthy to seek out things that make you feel bad, and it's a terrible internet safety lesson to teach minors that it's okay for them to seek out and engage with people making adult content.

individual harassment and crusading is never going to succeed at removing dark content from the internet. it just isn't. at best you might get a small percentage of people who create that content to stop sharing it, at worst you're just going to make people stop tagging it, and either way, you're exposing yourself to things that make you feel bad, when you don't have to.

if you want to materially change the type of content you see, you can. the block button is your friend, use it liberally. same with content filtering and tag blocking.

#oops this got really long #cd.ask #proship #disk horse #tw pedophila mention #uhhh what to tag #tw shipping discourse #this doesn't even get into the antis that i've seen proudly professing that they care more about fictional characters than real people #because i don't know how to explain to someone that real humans matter more than cartoon characters #or how to avoid content on platforms other than tumblr bc frankly thats a lot of the reason i don't use them #i don't trust an algorithm #also im turning anon off after posting this so if you want to send me hate you cant be a coward about it #also be prepared to get blocked and ignored #the only reason i answered this person is bc they weren't being hostile

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a2zillustration · 23 days

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The final day

[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#HERE WE GOOOOOOOO #heads up #I scripted over 20 comics for the next events #so we're really...still not that close to the end - don't worry lol #Ah - also - there was a tumblr user a while back who had mentioned wanting to see the bg3 cast helping each other put their armor on #shoutouts to that person for the idea for this one - thank you #I tried finding the post but can't - if you know the user please feel free to drop them in the replies bc it was a GOOD idea haha #Ah - and - for the record - this is the team I took into the final battle. It seemed appropriate. They were here from the beginning.#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #kind of sort of - I never know how to tag these ones where I take artistic liberties lol #croissant adventures #tav #gale #shadowheart #lae'zel #scratch #owlbear cub #yenna #gale dekarios #breadweave #gale x tav #comics #oh one last thing YES croissant and gale could use mage hand to help them do all their ties but that's not FUN and INTIMATE

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bluespiritshonour · 2 months

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here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.

#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later #i still might make something else later #enough art for now #i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure #it's smack in the middle of end semester exams #ink blot #avatar fanart #avatar the last airbender #atla #artists on tumblr #fanart #avatar aang #why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff.#can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art?#anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable.#I have more control over stuff and i love the result #so #i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done #and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so #yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee!#if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw #not healthy at all

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ombresdemaquia · 2 months

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How people discover kylux

Most people:

Watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens

See the character dynamic

???

Start shipping

Me:

Browse ao3 for bdsm fics

Find a really well written long fic

"Oh, it's in the star wars fandom, but it's a modern au so I'm fine right?" (I don't know anything about star wars)

"wow, the plot and character dynamics are so goooood, i want more"

Start looking for fics in the kylux tag, but only modern aus to not spoil the original story

"maybe i should go watch the movie before i spoil myself completely"

"bruh it's the 7th movie in star wars??"

there's only one thing to do now

watch allll the star wars movies, starting from ep IV: A New Hope. Also get friends to watch it with me. this is how i'm diving in the fandom and i am not ashamed.

(they don't know i'm shipping kylux tho)

keep reading fics, spoiling myself more in the process

(i'm still not at ep 7)

accidentally sees fanart of Hux in a fic: "WAIT, that's what he looks like?"

for a long time i didn't know the first order uniforms are black, so i just imagined he wore white or something. also i thought his hair was longer

accidentally sees gif of kylo: "WAIT, that's what he looks like??"

kylo is a straw colored name, so i thought he was blond

i'm STILL not on ep 7, and i've probably read 600k+ words of fic.. at least

tumblr in a dark alley: hey kid i heard you want some kylux fan art. i have a lot of vintage stuff here, from 2016. all i need you to do is dedicate your heart and soul to this trash ship and jump aboard.

me: i regret nothing o7

#kylux #i don't really know how to use tumblr but people seem to like writing stuff in tags #time until i watch TFA: ???#its hard to coordinate movie nights with multiple people okay #just a matter of time before i start writting fic for these two #i just need to WATCH THE SEQUELS

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im-a-goat-in-disguise · 3 months

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The Moscow Concert Hall, located in Russia, was attacked by multiple gunmen a few days ago. ISIS has claimed to be behind the attack, and the death toll is currently upwards of 130. The EU and other nations have condemned the attack.

Live guardian article.

Sky news article here.

#russia #moscow #moscow concert hall #world news #news #ask to tag #i don't know how to get news going on Tumblr really but i DO know the format that's used. so. here you go #I did my best #dont know what else to tag this as sooo #[EDIT] Removed the image from this post

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raspberriesandstrawberries · 10 months

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Lady Ysabella Theer

Based on the portrait of Bianca Maria Sforza, by Giovanni Ambrogio de Predis

#the golden rose #ysabella #my art #fanart #I've wanted to do this one for a while #Ysabella's profile is really wel suited to early renaissance betrothal portraits that are always in profile #not that Ysabella is betrothed as far as I know #but I maintain that based on the technology the golden rose has to be early renaissance at the earliest #and i will continue to use the fashions of the 1400s as my inspo #please tell me tumblr fucked up the image quality as much as it currently appears #the whole point of this one was to try to enjoy doing lots of detail work #it mostly didn't work #i found doing all those pearls absolutely painful #but i like how it turned out so tumblr better not have ruined it #ramble ramble #complain complain #etc etc #also don't ask what the deal is with the ... artichoke? towers? on her dress?#idk what that's about its just what's on the dress in the original painting

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lunatiprinces · 6 months

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Oscar Piastri ☪︎◞ ๋⊹

oscar in qatar was just something else

#oscar piastri #op81 #oscar piastri f1 #f1 #formula 1 #f1 art #formula one art #formula 1 fanart #art #fanart #digital art #i don't know how to use tumblr #but i really love oscar #and this drawing

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lesovyart · 1 year

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im so obsessed w them that I made fanart AND my own playlist

#気になってる人が男じゃなかった #the guy she wasn't interested in wasn't a guy at all #gays bonding over 90s grunge and dad rock #no like u don't understand I'm a wlw who was raised on rock and blues since as far back as I can remember #reading this manga has been SO en #SO enjoyable #I can't believe I didn't get into it sooner!!!!! And I love the NOFX Green used all through the series omg #Also re the fanmix #I know Aya and Mitsuki are super into 90's grunge and hard rock specifically #but I added in some diff stuff from betwee #Also I tried to the playlist follow the chronology of the story and might continue to add to it/edit 🤔#Anyway I'm really interested in the way both charas relate to music? I feel like they both see music as a place for enjoyment and discovery #but Aya is quite aware of and #secure in her emotions so uses music as an outlet for them: a way to arrange and communicate how she already knows how she's feeling #while Mitsuki seems more to use music as a way to actually understand both the world around her #but also herself... I love them both so muc #god my tags are horrific but writing tags on the tumblr app is literal hell #aya oosawa #mitsuki koga

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glmshver · 5 months

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Gilgamesh screenshot study sketches For 2024 I plan to study this man and his cursed hair everyday, or Gil is welcome to physically manifest AND kick my ass

#gilgamesh #fate series #fate grand order #fate zero #fate stay night #look #I don't know how to use Tumblr #But out of all the options it was kinda best #Also I wanna share how I draw HIM so I'm here #I really need to learn how to draw Gilgamesh or I'll die #Gil studies

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inky-evergreen · 10 days

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Bro has been struggeling with the concepts of maturity and immaturity since he was a wee lad

#tw body horror #cw body horror #tw blood #cw blood #muse arg #don't feed the muse #happy meat farms #alex bale #spongebob theory arg #dftm #anthony williams #the cynical critic #the cynical critics #cynical critic #muse arg au #dftm au #Dltfu #Don't let them find us #digital art #digital artist #artists on tumblr #Mitski strikes again #live laugh love mitski #bro really went downhill after his boyfriend- erm I mean best friend pushed him off the stairs 💀#Anthony was one of those children who were told that they were so mature for his age but was also told that he was too immature for his age #and it was crazy how both was kinda true #Also there was a stage in his life where he was tired of being called immature so he tried to be “ an adult” just to please his mother #also you know that moment in that one cynical critic video about cartoons were Mark didn't want to say his lines and that made Antonio mad #Yeah headcannon those lines where refrencing Anthony and what people told him as a child thats why Mark didn't want to say those lines #lol sorry for headcannon dumping😅

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girlyliondragon · 1 year

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Now kiss (haha Jk... Unless??? (Toby PLEASE make it "Unless"))

Ello Deltarune fandom. Guess what ship has gotten my brainrot now 2 1/2 years later. :P Because ofc I go from one f/f ship to another and cling onto it. But fr tho I love these sapphics sm. I love them so muuuuuch I'm so glad they are semi-canon just 2 chapters in.

Been wanting to draw something with them since February, but because of art block back then I decided to just let my pen go on its own since I had art block and ended up with a rough of this and hallelujah lol ^^

Seriously Toby please. Take your time ofc no rush. But please I NEED to see them together again.

Also I love Noelle's glow-y nose hc so that's mine now too thanks fandom.

Art: Mine

Do not steal/crop/edit/etc. Do not tag as kin/me ty! Suselle haters DNI :U

#Deltarune #Deltarune Fanart #Noelle deltarune #Susie deltarune #utdr #Suselle #This is my first time drawing them ever #I'm very happy with how I draw Susie but Noelle is a different story. My perfectionism is getting me #Been wanting to draw something with them since February #decided to just let my pen go on its own since I had art block and ended up with a rough of this ^^#It's all about the yearning <3 #her tail's wagging :3 #Em Doodles #I don't think(?) I'll be posting anything outside of art in the fandom tags #because I've had enough extremely bad experiences with fandoms so just art stuff now. Not taking anymore chances!#ya know. unless Tumblr's weird tag system screws me over :U #Btw The kin/me thing is more of a ''if it's not made for you don't tag it like it is plz ty'' to reiterate #More for personal art than anything. If I make stuff for people that do it? Then yeah go nuts xP #Me: Makes a freckle brush just for coloring Susie and can finally really use it.#Textures and lighting: Imma make it impossible to see #couldn't use my paper layer textures thanks to that rip I might do them manually next time #there's a reason I put the ''Suselle haters DNI'' thing from what I saw someone try to do a super wrong rant in the fcking tag but #IMMA KEEP THAT RAMBLING OUT OF THE TAGS TOO because like I said I'm not throwing that sort of aggression anywhere outside my own blog now

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not-poignant · 4 days

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Hi Pia

Feel free to ignore if this is unwelcome, but have you ever thought about publishing traditionally to sublimate your income and draw in new readers? I know you've self published two books already and that you didn't feel like they did very well, but maybe the experience would be different if someone else was in charge of marketing and all the other business stuff?

Obviously everyone's experience is different but as an author myself who's published both trad and self, traditional publishing has been a completely different experience and has allowed me to focus more on writing because I'm not the one responsible for advertising/marketing/financing anymore.

There are a ton of literary agents nowadays that want to represent diverse and lgbtqia+ fiction, some of them even in Australia.

Websites like Reedsy, AgentQuery and Jerichowriters have extensive directories to find literary agents.

(This is lengthy folks so I'm putting the other two parts (and my response) under a read more! Also putting it under a read more so the anon can skip my response since it's very 'here's all the reasons I can't do this' and they just might not want to read that, lmao)

(continued -> )

Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.

Obviously most authors, unless they're really prolific, don't get a huge advance (the average is between $1000 - $5000) but getting your foot in the door or on the traditional publishing "ladder' so to speak can have a huge benefit for your serials. Because it gives you more exposure. Plus it's in the agent's best interest to find a publishing house that accepts stories that contain darker themes and negotiate the best deal for you.

For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses? I have no idea. But you could use this to your advantage. I think I remember you mentioning that writing novels felt quite isolating to you? But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.

You already have a loyal readership and that's very attractive to trad pub houses and agents.

As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance. It could be just a landing page that says something about you and then has links to your tumblr and patreon where you're more active. That way you increase the chances of getting your serials found by additional readers and also come across looking more "professional". Not that you're not professional now. You are and I admire you greatly, but the unfortunate reality is a lot of people still judge by appearances and some will be more drawn to an author's website than a tumblr page, at least at first. So I think having a simple landing page would open up another door for you to benefit from.

Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!

These are just suggestions and thoughts and like I said before, feel free to ignore. But I know you've mentioned wanting to grow your career in the past and I genuinely believe you can do so with some of these pathways.

Okay, my response. Posting this because firstly I think the suggestions could work very well for other authors reading this! And I hope they take the advice to note, and secondly because I haven't talked about this for a hot minute so let's talk about it again.

So the TL;DR is yes I have considered traditional publishing. I have actually been traditionally published in short stories, poetry, and also had my art published on covers and re: interior illustrations. But my Fae Tales works got soundly rejected when I sent them to publishing houses that were doing open calls for that sort of material. I've never heard back from an agent and I never expect to, heh.

Now for a bit more detail

I have been traditionally published before (it's how I got my writing out there long before I ever wrote serials), and yes, I have approached publishers with my writing since then. In fact Tradewinds was written for the traditional publishing market, and it got soundly rejected, and then shelved. The reasons it was rejected ran the gamut from 'I don't like that these fae eat humans no one is going to relate to these people' (while the editor then went on to publish vampire books idk) to 'There's too much worldbuilding you can't expect readers to keep up with this' to 'Your stories are too long, no one wants to read characters talking all the time.'

Meanwhile in my online serials I was getting feedback like 'my favourite chapters are the ones where the characters just sit in a room and talk' lol.

The traditional publishing world is also not quite as utopian for most authors as you make it seem. I'm friends with a lot of authors who are traditionally published because that's the world I came from, and unless they're solely in KU and doing generic rapid release formula romances, none of them are making that much money. Certainly not enough to live off. It may have been that you were very fortunate, anon, but I know hundreds more traditionally published authors that left trad pub to make money, and I know about 5 in trad pub personally who are making enough to live off of.

Only one of those is really writing what she truly loves to write, and even then, publishing houses have refused to commit to her entire fantasy series (and she's regularly in 'Top 10/20 Women Fantasy Authors in the World' lists) and forced her to finish the series prematurely. Something I never ever have to worry about in self pub.

The reality is that in trad pub these days, you're still in charge of most of your marketing unless you're one of the big earners for the publishing house. In fact I'd be expected to keep even more of a social media and marketing presence than I do now. I don't do almost any of the things you're supposed to do as an author in marketing to be appealing. I don't have a Facebook author account. I don't have an Instagram author account. I don't maintain or regularly send out newsletters (which automatically puts me in the like 0.05% of authors who make money doing this lmao).

I don't know if you ever have looked that closely into what m/m publishing houses expect from most of their authors, but the newsletter swaps, cover releases, review circuits, interview circuits and more are fucking grueling. We're expected to be responsible for our advertising and our marketing to a fairly massive degree. Some traditionally published in m/m still have to pay for their release blitzes out of pocket. These publishing houses, by and large, do not offer advances. You say most authors don't get large advances. I don't think most authors in this arena get offered advances at all unless they're somehow miraculously acquired by a Big 4.

We're expected to have an already established social media presence because of that (that's why it's so appealing to publishers that we have social media presences already, anon, so we can market, they can save money, and we still see only a minimal cut from the royalties).

And you still have to focus on your finances, because publishing houses like Dreamspinner straight up didn't pay a whole bunch of authors for so long they destroyed careers. They still haven't paid some of their authors. And they're still running a business and people still buy their books.

Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.

This is true if a) they're a big publishing house and not an indie publisher of which most LGBTQIA+ publishing houses are and b) they're willing to use them on you.

The authors that make the most money get the most resources. If they believe you're going to earn back your advance and move thousands or tens of thousands of units per book, then yes, you will get those resources.

I have been told so many times now - even from friends who run publishing houses, including one who works at HarperCollins - that my work will never be mainstream enough to have broad appeal. They literally told me not to keep trying re: trad pub, because that was my dream for a long time. These folks have given me rock solid advice in the past, it's one of the reasons I'm doing so well now via Patreon + Ream. But they were like (paraphrasing) 'you don't write 60-80k romances and you don't want to and that's not your strength anyway, you're multi-genre which makes you hard to market, you write psychological and literary trauma recovery which is hard to market, you write character studies which are hard to market, publishing houses often don't commit to series anymore if the first two don't move units and if they pulled the plug you'd be contractually obliged to never finish that series until your contract was up.' I could go on, but it was like yeah...actually. Fair.

They do, but most publishing houses want very formulaic dark romance which is not what I write.

I have a 300k omegaverse slowburn that still hasn't had any penetrative sex in it, anon. Publishing houses don't want that. They don't expect anyone will wait 4 full length novels to get to literally a single penetrative sex scene.

But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.

If I rewrote them to my liking, trad pub wouldn't want them. They'd be too long! I think agents etc. take one look at me and go 'oh god, no thank you!' I'm not an easy sell, by any means.

Plus I'm very e.e about all of that with the knowledge that they then give me only about 10-15% of the royalties on the sales, vs. self-pub where I get around 70%, or subscription where I around 80% of it. When someone subscribes to me, they don't have to worry about 85-90% of their subscription fee going to a publishing house. I don't have to think about how many thousands and thousands of books I'd have to sell to make the same amount that I do now via subscription.

As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance.

If it was that simple, I'd be doing it. I don't mean this in a facetious way, I mean it in a: I've made a lot of websites, in fact I run one at the moment not connected to my writing (I've been running it for so long it's now in its 20s and can probably has a driver's license). I find it so tedious that I barely remember to check in on it. But forgetting about it means there's always maintenance to keep up with when I get back to it.

Running websites is simpler than it used to be, but it's still not simple. There's hosting and hosting costs, there's server changes, there's back-end maintenance etc. I'm considering it for down the track, but there's a reason I decided to go the route of Patreon over my own site. There are authors (like Christopher Hopper) who actually do subscription through their own domain, but it's a lot of work.

Even placeholder sites are still work. They need updating, details change, story titles changing etc. Maintaining my Patreon + Ream About pages is enough, they're always both a little out of date, lol.

Not that you're not professional now.

Oh no, I mean from a 'traditional publisher looking at me to see what kind of candidate I am' I'm really not though. Like I said, I don't have the newsletter (100 subscribers who get one newsletter a year is not really a newsletter), I don't have the Facebook/Tiktok/Insta/Twitter/Bluesky/Threads accounts, etc. I write multi-genre across multiple steam levels, and I'm allergic to writing serials shorter than 150k. One of my best performing original serials was an 800k contemporary story with no sex in it but a lot of BDSM. It can't be marketed as clean or sweet, it's not high steam, an entire chapter is 'boy saves snail from rain.' Also he was cruel to animals, so not exactly what I'd call a sympathetic main.

And yet that story did so well for me via Patreon + Ream, because people want the kinds of stories that publishing houses generally don't want and I happen to be writing them.

Anon I just literally do not believe an agent would want to represent me. I have 0% belief in that. Not from a self-deprecating angle but from a 'I am not a good bet for the trad market' perspective. From a 'I have so many friends who are trad pubbed authors who stare at me like I'm insane for writing serials as long as I do' perspective. From a 'professionals in the industry have told me it's amazing I'm doing so well in serials because there's no way they'd take a risk on what I'm doing' perspective. From a 'just because it's queer and diverse doesn't mean it hits literally any other thing a trad pub is looking for' perspective. I've been doing this for 10 years. There are agents who represent work similar to mine who know what I'm doing and wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. They're not missing out on a trick, they know I'm not broad appeal, and they're right.

Also the only way I'd have the energy to manage trad pub is by quitting serials. And honestly, I never found trad pub all that much fun while I was doing it for non-novel stuff. It was fine, and it is nice to have my stuff out there, but it was a ton of admin and a lot of going back and forth between people who really only care about marketing a product, and that's great and what they excel at! But I'm too disabled to turn this job into something crushing just to potentially make more money, I'd rather just quit and go back onto a full Disability Pension. I can't see any way I still get to write the stories I want to write, in the way that I write them, and be remotely appealing to a single reputable trad pub or agent.

Also *gestures to everything in this article*

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on publishing #i appreciate your thoughts anon #and i'm so happy it's working out well for you #and that you're able to live off what you're doing #you are one of the rare outliers in the world of publishing #and i truly wish you all the success in the world #i do think a lot of your advice will go to help a lot of writers who sometimes check in #at my tumblr #but yeah no i don't even write that much 'dark' stuff in the classic sense #of what trad pub wants #right now the publishing world that i'm adjacent to #seems to view me as some kind of oddity #'i don't know how he's making an income off all this stuff that we know would never work for us'#'how odd and strange'#'best leave him alone'#most authors are thankfully not doing what i'm doing #in which case yes they should absolutely consider agent representation #and looking into trad pub #unfortunately i'm not like a CS Pacat #even though she's a role model for me #and when i tried to write for the more traditional market #which was perth shifters #i honestly really struggled

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