#i don't know myself

[throwaway-because-login-wall]

random headcanon that is completely unprompted: I Want Die is not actually *that* old, he's probably in his mid-30s but is so extremely stressed that his hair has become completely grey. It also fits with his name.

#i want die rtgame #rtgame #rtgame miitopia #don't ask me why i made this #i don't know myself

[scribblersobia]

Me watching the news...

Reporter : an asteroid might Hit our planet.

Me : yesssssssss... when? When?

Reporter : or it might miss our planet!

Me : bitch, you stole my moments of happiness.

#reporter was reporting on climate change #mega natural calamity is going to happen #i am done with the earth thing #idk what the fuck i am doing here #and who am I btw #i don't know myself #earth is earthing these days #so many disasters #climate change #wars and what not!

[gillipopmoji]

some emojis for when your brain is being confusing/you don't know what's going on in your brain.

also below the cut are some question marks made to look like brains, they're kinda gross looking so that's why i cut the post lol

#organs #cw organs #tw organs #organs tw #organs cw #anatomy #anatomy cw #anatomy tw #tw anatomy #twemoji #custom twemoji #twemoji style #my emojis #brain #i don't know myself #i don't know what im thinking #idk #idk what my brain is doing #idk what's going on in my head #brains are weird #brains are confusing #no words #🧠 #❓ #❔ #gore #cw gore #tw gore #gore cw #gore tw

[luxielovesparkles]

Megapod Jail, Seto need to chill

#ygo #seto kaiba #meme #don't ask #i don't know myself #myart

[donutsalami]

Some thoughts below [tw vent]

A forgotten locket

A defense mechanism

A fallen anthena

An empty revolver

An used old bandaid

A transparent mask

Thorns without a rose

Barbed wire across my heart

A machine with no purpose

Unfulfilled purpose

Am I chained by my pain? Am I defined by my struggle?

Who am I? What am I?

Cold, tired, broken, edgy, talented, loyal, lying, calm, weird, violent or caring? I can't tell anymore, am i truly alive? Am i even real?

There are so many things i feel that i can't show, i have no voice to scream, i have no brush to paint, my pain seeps through all i create.

I don't want to be defined by my pain, i don't want it to affect me as much as it does, i don't want to be pitied upon, but i want to scream.

#tw vent #pizzacake #i don't know myself #sorry

[gxild-boning]

Broke

"She's going around seducing every married man and threatening every marriage in the area!"

Woke

"Every single man, married or not, is flocking to her- a hundred and ten wives are already threatening!"

#Don't ask me why I need the distinction #I don't know myself #Just one of a few distinctions from NTR itself

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

Did we get a personal Tumblr wrapped thing this year? Cause I swear at the end of 2022 that was a thing but I didn't get one this time??

#tumblr #tumblr wrapped #Tumblr year in review #im just curious yk? #i don't know myself

[iepurasdepraf]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

OH! Ah, hm...

I like:

Bears

Bunnies

My cats

Writing!

Making jewelry

#I don't know myself #I had to think about this a little too much

[otomes-world]

Because of that I decided to play otome game a little. Ugh, I forget how tricky Alice is. Like, there is 40 pages of walkthrough and I absolutely don't remember what's scenes I opened and what's not.

#Tenshi talk #HnKnA #heart no kuni no alice #Don't ask why i chose this game #I don't know myself

[waltj]

Happy New Year :)

#im in company so i can't do my annual new years cry #i don't know myself #love you sweeties #t.

[cornerstonc]

me yesterday saying i tend to actively avoid romance as a genre even tho ever after is one of my most favorite movies of all time

#i'm just a liar tbh #i don't know myself #ghfihoe #tbd #hi i'm home

[cursedchildofchaos]

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Family Member Near One of Our Pets:

Me: Look at the cat/dog! Isn't she too cute? Kiss her. Do it. She deserves kisses. Kiss her!

#cats #dogs #animals #pets #pet #dog #cat #animal #yes i bully family members into kissing our pets #don't ask why #i don't know myself

[gillipopmoji]

some emojis for when your brain is being confusing/you don't know what's going on in your brain.

also below the cut are some question marks made to look like brains, they're kinda gross looking so that's why i cut the post lol

#organs #cw organs #tw organs #organs tw #organs cw #anatomy #anatomy cw #anatomy tw #tw anatomy #twemoji #custom twemoji #twemoji style #my emojis #brain #i don't know myself #i don't know what im thinking #idk #idk what my brain is doing #idk what's going on in my head #brains are weird #brains are confusing #no words #🧠 #❓ #❔ #gore #cw gore #tw gore #gore cw #gore tw

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[caramel-catss]

caramel fun fact i have over 100 hours on phantom hourglass and i never beat it

#don't ask me how #i don't know myself