#i didn’t quite get the monkey bit but i’m still trying to formulate my own thoughts on that bit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

itadorisgf · 3 years

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— the lyre’s tune

⤷ 🦋 nonnie suggested: sending love songs to ur s/o

edit: it’s more like jjk characters as love songs im sorry 😭😭

note: im a sucker for music shit <33 send me song recs and we will fall in love.

ft. fushiguro megumi, gojo satoru, itadori yuuji, kugisaki nobara, nanami kento, sukuna ryomen.

warning: light angst, but overall it’s very fluffy

⤷ main page

— fushiguro megumi.

now playing: when i look into your eyes (feat. lanie) by khaki dreams

to put it bluntly, fushiguro sucks at emotions.

he’s often been told that he’s too cold or unfeeling.

it’s through no fault of his own that he doesn’t exactly have the greatest grasp on emotions and feelings.

but it is the reason why he has such a difficult time discerning what he feels for you.

your relationship is platonic, but is fushiguro content with that or does he desire more?

fushiguro isn’t exactly against the idea of love, but it’s not like he’s actively searching it out.

due to the low number of first years, you’re a tight knit group. you’re all close to one another, however your personality meshes best with nobara and itadori.

as fushiguro attempts to figure out his feelings, he unconsciously pulls away from you. he doesn’t hangout with you as often and is much more quiet than usual, which is saying something.

nobara tells you that fushiguro’s just been fushiguro when you mention how he seems more closed off than he normally is, but you’re concerned for the divide he’s creating between the two of you.

meanwhile fushiguro is undergoing his own emotional turmoil.

fushiguro pulls away so much from you that you end up confronting him. you express your worries for him and question if everything’s all right with him.

and when fushiguro lifts his head to meet your gaze, he knows where his feelings lie.

in that moment, fushiguro realizes that he wants to be more than a friend to you.

— gojo satoru.

now playing: 505 by arctic monkeys

gojo satoru is like a thorn in your side that you just can’t seem to get rid of no matter how hard you try.

you’ve known each other for so long that your relationship with the man is certainly complicated to say the least.

you’d tentatively say that the two of you are currently friends, but it’s difficult to be friends with someone who was once your everything.

you had been friends with benefits for awhile before you two became lovers. dating gojo was a natural progression of your relationship and it came so easy to the two of you. it was nice. for awhile at least. before it all came crashing down.

you became fed up with how he treated your feelings so lightly as if they didn’t matter. so you broke up with him.

the break up took a toll on you, but it hurt more seeing how gojo appeared to be so unaffected by it.

but enough time has passed since then that you can say your current relationship isn’t as bad as you would’ve thought considering you’re coworkers with your ex-boyfriend.

gojo is still as flirty and charming as ever.

you truly believe that it’s this man’s mission in life to bother you.

it’s not that you don’t still have feelings for gojo, but you don’t want to get hurt like you did last time.

your feelings aren’t something to be played with and you refuse to let gojo in again just for your relationship to wind up like it did before.

gojo knows that his actions affect you even if you pretend they don’t. he notices the way you stumble over your words before quickly composing yourself when he accidentally brushes his hands against your lower back. the way your eyes widen before you glare at him when he makes a sexual innuendo in front of your shared students.

but what gojo didn’t know is how bad the breakup affected you.

gojo never stopped loving you, but you were the one to break up with him. if you didn’t want to be with him that was fine, he would just act like he was completely okay with that. gojo was able to keep up the appearance that he was okay after you left, but he missed you a lot.

and when you break down in tears in front of gojo asking why he’s messing with your head when you know he doesn’t love you anymore, gojo’s heart drops.

a serious expression crosses his face when he gently places his hands on your cheeks to tilt your head up to meet his eyes. with his thumbs he wipes away your tears and asks, “who said i didn’t love you anymore?”

— itadori yuuji.

now playing: whoa by snoh aalegra

itadori’s crush on you is so apparent to everyone.

but it’s not like he’s attempting to hide it at all.

the way he trails after you like a puppy confirms that.

he tries to spend as much time with you as he can and hangs off of your every word.

most of the time he’s not actually listening to you though. he really does try to follow what you’re saying, but then he gets distracted by how nice you look in the sunlight and how you look really good in your uniform that he’s startled when you jog him out of his daydreaming.

he flushes and apologizes for getting distracted and asks if you could repeat what you said. you don’t get mad when that happens and just laugh it off, and itadori is so captivated by the sound of your laughter that you ask if something’s on your face with how hard he’s looking at you.

so it’s no secret that itadori harbors a crush on you. everyone is aware of that fact except one person: you.

it’s not you haven’t been told that before. nobara along with a couple of your upperclassmen have confirmed that itadori does indeed have a crush on you, but you just don’t believe it.

how could itadori have a crush on someone like you? you’re sure he doesn’t view you as anything more than a friend.

nobara bluntly tells you that itadori literally never shuts up about you, but you’re still adamant that he only thinks of you as a friend.

it’s not that you don’t like itadori, it’s quite the opposite.

you like him a lot. how could you not? he’s cute and kind and does dumb stuff to make you laugh.

it’s a bit silly, but being by itadori’s side fills you with confidence. you feel like you could exorcise any curse if itadori’s with you. maybe it’s because itadori has so much confidence in you that you can’t help but feel the same.

but you’re convinced that itadori doesn’t like you in that way and itadori can’t seem to tell you that he does.

your friends are sick of your pining dumbasses.

but before they can formulate a plan to get the two of you together, you and itadori figure it out for yourselves.

you’re hanging out like usual, relaxing outdoors after a long day of sparring. you’re staring up at the clouds floating through the sky while itadori lies beside you. he’s admiring the slope of your nose and the curve of your lips when you turn your head to meet his gaze.

your eyes widen when you realize that itadori’s already looking at you, but you don’t say anything. you part your lips open to say something when the silence lingers for a bit too long, but itadori beats you to it.

“can i kiss you right now?”

itadori looks shocked that he said that. you blink once, trying to comprehend what itadori just asked. you blink again before nodding. your voice cracks a little when you respond with “y-yeah.”

— kugisaki nobara.

now playing: cloud nine by beach bunny

nobara is confident in herself. she prides herself on being independent and never searching for validation in the form of other people.

she knows her own worth and won’t let anyone else diminish it or tell her otherwise.

but she must admit that there is no feeling comparable to when she’s with you.

others have complained to her before that she’s loud and self-absorbed. nobara’s never really cared for what others thought of her.

but she’s happy that you don’t think of her that way.

nobara doesn’t have to worry about how she comes across because you love her for who she is.

you love how blunt she can be. you love how she always sticks up for herself and how unafraid she is from backing down.

you love how she won’t let others talk bad about you either. you insist that she doesn’t have to and that you can handle it yourself, but nobara just tells you that “nobody gets to talk shit about my s/o.”

your favorite thing ever is when you manage to catch nobara off-guard with a compliment. normally when you compliment her, she replies “i know,” with a grin on her face, which makes you fall even further for her.

but sometimes when you’re feeling particularly soft, you tell her something along the lines of, “you’re so beautiful and i’m really lucky to call you mine.” nobara goes red and will only manage a shaky “s-shut up,” in response as she tries to hide her flush.

to say the least, you are completely and utterly whipped for nobara. not that you’re complaining about it.

it’s safe to say that you adore her.

nobara loves you just as much in return.

if her confidence ever falters, all it takes is you gently squeezing her hand, reminding her that you’re there beside her, for any doubt to fade away.

because when you’re around, nobara knows she can face any challenge that comes her way. she’s not alone and she has you to support her through anything.

— nanami kento.

now playing: care by sonder

nanami and you both have busy lives.

as sorcerers, you don’t exactly have a lot of down time. you make it work, though.

lately it seems you’ve been running yourself ragged.

you’ve been assigned more missions as of late and nanami’s barely seen you in the past week.

the only prolonged period of time he’s spent with you is when you’re both asleep and even then, you slip into bed late into the evening.

besides that it’s a rushed kiss here and a quick i love you there.

he’s concerned for your well-being. it’s not healthy to be working so often especially in your line of work, which requires you to be in top mental and physical condition.

so when you come home from your latest mission, nanami’s there to greet you at the door.

you’re surprised to see him waiting up for you considering it’s late at night.

he’s dressed in more relaxed clothing, and laying on the couch, thumbing through a book.

when he hears the front door creak open and sees you stumble inside, nanami places the book down and looks at you.

“i ran a bath for you already. after you get dressed, you can eat the dinner i prepared.”

you give him a tired, but grateful grin in return and cheekily ask him to join you in the bath.

nanami denies your request, but he does sit on the edge of the bathtub to keep you company. he’ll wash your hair and your back for you, and the tension in your shoulders melts away when nanami drags his hand in between them.

he hands you a towel to dry off along with one of his t-shirts and a pair of sleep shorts for you to change into.

after you change into your clothes for the night, you drag yourself into the kitchen and come up behind nanami, wrapping your arms around his middle and nuzzling your face into the space in between his shoulders.

“thank you, kento,” you sleepily tell him, pressing a kiss to his back.

nanami turns around in your hold to press a kiss to your forehead, “always, my love.”

— sukuna ryomen.

now playing: hold me down by daniel caesar

sukuna loathes how he feels for you.

it’s pathetic that the king of curses harbors any sort of fondness for a mortal.

you drive him mad. he cannot fathom what it is that draws him to you.

but sukuna finds it oh so amusing that you like him.

you’re painfully obvious about your little puppy dog crush on him.

he loves popping up while itadori is talking to you and will insert himself into the conversation.

he aims to fluster you and revels in the way your words will falter and you’ll start tripping up on what you were saying.

although he likes teasing you, sukuna enjoys it even more when you respond with a quip of your own.

it makes you even more interesting.

you’re intriguing to sukuna.

you don’t approach him with the same fear that other sorcerers do. instead, you approach him with almost a child-like curiosity. you often ask him questions that others never have before like you’re actually interested in what he has to say. you’re a rather strange human, he thinks.

once sukuna accepts that his soft spot for you isn’t going away at all, rather it seems to be getting larger, he gets so possessive. you’re his little human now.

sukuna loves hearing you say that you love him. will make you repeat yourself over and over again. it’s like a boost to his ego.

you tease that he’s your favorite curse, but sukuna’s response is something like “obviously i am.”

you’re the only thing that sukuna has any sort of attachment to so he’s very protective over you.

will not hesitate to strike anyone down that even contemplates harming you because you're his.

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #fushiguro x reader #gojo x reader #nanami x reader #nobara x reader #sukuna x reader #celeste.adores #adoring.fushiguro #adoring.gojo #adoring.nanami #adoring.nobara #adoring.sukuna #celeste.scribs

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simpz-art-stash · 3 years

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The Breakdown [LMK]

A moment between MKing and Fang where both finally regard each other and their relationship as father / daughter & teacher / student. Tags: LOTS OF FLUFF “Again.” A pained groan escaped Fang as she sat up on her sore butt for the upteenth time. “Can’t we take a break?...My tail hurts…” She whined. She was tired, sweaty, and not at all having any fun. “No.” MKing replied bluntly, “Get up. You’re never going to win if you stay down.” He replied, arms crossed with that same serious look on his face.

She pouted and with an exaggerated motion, propped herself back up with the little wooden staff she’d been using since the start of this whole training business. The poor thing had seen better days, it was splintered and worn, to the point she’d had to wrap the base of it in fabric just to keep her hands from getting blisters. Which at this point had hardly done much to ease her swelling callouses. And that wasn’t even counting the last few matches she’d endured under her father’s lessons. Ever since she’d turned 50 or so, that was when they’d started this whole routine. He’d told her his reasoning for why she was here, to grow strong and take by his side as his successor in the future. She of course agreed to it, being the ever giving child to the Monkey King. She wanted nothing more than to be just like him. To grow up big and strong and eventually go on her own journey. Right now however she was struggling just to keep her legs from collapsing as she wiped the sweat off her brow. “Again.” He commanded, snapping her from her thoughts as her eyes glanced across the field of the dojo into his. She took a breath to steel her nerves and charged at him. Remembering what he’d told her, putting force into each step, and attempting to swing into the strike at the last minute. This time, this time- Her steps were still just as unbalanced as the last attempt, even with her stance poised properly, it left her wide open for an attack. Something MKing had masterfully pulled from his observation in watching her run at him the way she was now. It was sloppy, unfocused, and it didn’t take him any time at all to swiftly advert her center of gravity around his and throw her back. And just as before she found her world spinning in a blurred mess of colors as she was flung back onto the ground. This time landing on her side where a loud SNAP was heard. As soon as he’d heard that noise he’d switched his demeanor in an instant and rushed over, his brow creased as the dust settled. He first saw the staff broken in two, its splintered bits laying scattered about. But as some movement caught his eye, he shifted his attention towards that and saw her moving to sit up, there wasn’t any screaming or crying so that was a good sign. “Ah geeze..” He sighed, grateful it hadn’t been anything serious, “Come on let's get you a new one-” “I DON’T WANNA ANYMORE!” She yelled. Which caused him to jump a little at her sudden exclamation. His attention now primarily focused on the very distraught child before him. Upon closer inspection she looked fine, maybe a lil bruised but nothing a good night's rest couldn’t fix. No, what really caused him to freeze up was the look on her face. She looked at him with a look of fear.

Now, Wukong was a monkey of many things. A proud warrior, an old general, a friend and then some. He’d taken on countless battles and fearsome enemies, with very few able to really strike the fear into his core. But when it came to being envisioned with a look of fear, and by his own child no less, it left him in a state of shock he hadn’t felt in quite some time. In that moment of shell-shock she’d managed to regain her footing enough to stumble on passed him, her hands wiping at her face as she ran off. “Fang!” He called out to her, “Sweetpeach, wait- I-” It hadn't taken him long to really find her, one peek with his true sight saw her high up in the old bonsai that had been growing on the ledge of the cavern his little hut resided in. But even so..she didn't look anywhere near ready to deal with him right then so he simply sent out a few of the monkies to keep an eye on her while he went off to pick up some food, think things over. And boy did he think things over, if he thought he overthought things before, his mind was practically buzzing like an angry hive by the time he'd finally made it home. He was pushing her and pushing her and at this point he might as well of pushed her away altogether with the way she left him earlier. It broke his heart..seeing his little girl so distraught. All the while he'd been keeping himself blind to the signs for this reason alone, to make her strong..and himself stronger so that when the time came and something worse happened... He shook his head, he didn't wanna think about something like that when she couldn't even leave the island without his guidance.

He still found her in the same place as before, and exchanged a few glances with some of the older monkies that had been keeping an eye on her. They all seemed pretty huffy with him. 'Well that makes two of us...' He sighed. Passing them and climbing up into the tree, his eyes glancing over at the little ball curled tight around a cute little plush he'd made for her. Minikong, defender of the princess, stared back at Wukong, judging him in all his glory. But he could care less at that point, he had enough guilt to flood the ocean several times over, no his eyes were more keen to meet the current bundle taking resident in the little spot in the tree. "Sweetpeach?..." He spoke softly, as if the slightest wake against her fragile little ball would crumble her. It crumbled something when she flinched at his voice.

He cleared his throat when no answer came, "I uh..brought you some dinner." He rose his arm a little, before he placed down a carefully folded package of sliced fruit, all wrapped together in banana leaves. When she made no real movement to go for the food he sighed, "Come'on bud..throw me a peach here.." He pouted. She made a small noise, her little tail curling around her ankle, as if trying to make herself smaller in hopes he'd just forget about her and leave. "not hungry..." A rumble of her stomach claimed otherwise, which in turn got a small laugh out of Wukong, before he had to remind himself of his manners. "You sure about that?? Could've sworn I heard a rather distinguished appetite.." He hummed a little, his eyes never wavering from her furry little tail. She only seemed to grumble something incomprehensible in return. Creasing Wukong's brow as he tried to formulate a means to break through to her, at least enough to where she wouldn't starve herself... His eyes glanced back to Minikong, looking for pity, before an idea came to mind. "What's that Minikong?? She really isn't hungry?? Well that just won't do! And even after I picked her most favorite ripe fruit too..." He opened up the little ball of leaves, revealing the sweet savory piece's he'd so neatly cut up. He wasn't the best but he made due. "Sure would be a shame to let these spoil so soon..." He gave an overly exaggerated sigh, "I suppose that just means I'll have to eat them aaaaall by myself.." His eyes gave a side glance to the slight shuffle beside him. "Every.Last.Piece." "Nooo!!" Fang whined aloud suddenly, her movements jostling the branch she'd taken up residence on. Prompting Wukong to collect the rest of the snack before it met an untimely end to the monkies below. "Hmm?" Wukong quirked a brow back at her, hovering a piece dangerously close to his mouth all the same though. "Nonono!!" She smacked at his arm with Minikong, the traitor taking up arms against their king. "Woah kiddo I was just kidding!-" “Please don’t hate me. I know I can get better! Just train me more!” He froze, the piece in his hand lowering altogether as he turned to look at her altogether and her poor puffy face. Then it clicked. "Sweetpeach..." "I wanna get better, I wanna be strong, but it's hard!! I'm sorry!!" She stared tearing up again, her hands wiping at those big blue eyes of hers as she broke down. "I'm sorry, I'll get stronger, just don't leave me daddy!!" She bawled. And that right there shook Wukong's heart to the core, prompting him to drop what little fruit he had in hand before he finally took her into his arms. Cradling her and trying to soothe her cries. "Shh shh..hey it's okay.." He sighed, commending all those mother's and father's out there for having the strength to last as long as they did with this whole parenting thing...he could only imagine how the hell DBK dealt with it when he'd still been around. When her crying finally seemed to calm down he simply stayed with her like that for a bit, letting his hands comb through her hair while she sat curled up in his lap, so small to the rest of the world was she. He wanted to keep her safe from that world, that terrible merciless expanse that sought to take just as much as it gave. He wanted her to be strong, to keep safe, but he also wanted her to be happy...and what kind of father would he be to fail his own daughter if she wasn't any of those things? "I would never leave you behind...never for the remainder of eternity would I ever think of doing that to you." He softly stated, "I'm sorry I've been so hard on you..I didn't mean to push you as much as I did I just..." He sighed, "I just wanted to make sure that you would be ready. More than I was when I had to face the world and it's many painful lessons..." A sniffle escaped Fang then, her hands gripping at his shirt, before she shifted up a little, enough to look up at him, "Is that why you've been so scary?..." She sniffled, hiccuping a little, "Because..the world is scary..?" She blinked. His face grimaced, trying to keep it together for her sake, he brought his hand up and brushed a few stray tears off her cheek with his thumb. "I guess you could say that..." "I don't wanna..." Her face twisted into a sad frown, a threatening bout of tears pooled along the edges of her eyes despite the snot already running. "I don't wanna face the world if I can't have you with me anymore..." There it was, that remorseful little sliver of guilt that had been biting away at his core for the last few months, finally breaking through his stone ridden skin and jabbing him right in the heart. She'd been doing this for him. Pushing herself for him. To be the successor he told her she'd grow to be one day. She'd been so amped up, so happy to know she had a future to look forward to under his guidance. But that had been back when she was still a child, no better aware of her knowledge of the way things worked more than he did with the humans and their ever-growing fondness for technology. "I'm so sorry I made you feel that way sweetpeach...You don't have to be my successor if you don't want to.." "B-but I do!! I wanna make you proud!!.." She exclaimed, grabbing onto his shirt, "Be strong like you.." "Fang.." He called her name, prompting her to stiffen, he never used that name unless it was serious business. "I'm already proud of you...You've come so far with your training, even if you can't see it, you've already mastered plenty of martial arts! Took me years to find a good starting point and even then I had to fight just to get a teacher as good as myself." He hugged her close, "You don't need to be my successor for me to be proud of you OR to live here, you'll still be my little sweetpeach all the same..." He smiled down at her, easing her fears finally. "Whether you like it or not-" A squeal rang out of her when he lifted her up and began to smother her with kisses. "Stooop!!" She laughed, squirming like a fish out of water as he tickled her silly. "Stoppit!! That tickles!!" "I should hope so! Had me worried all day!!" He grinned, before heard a growl from her, his brow perking up. "Oh? Does the princess have her appetite back finally??" He smirked, finally putting her back down. Before his tail finally put down the bundle of leaves he'd been holding onto and allowed her to pick out the more juicy piece's she liked. "Go on then, I don't want you complain'n later that you missed dinner." He ruffled her hair a little and sat back. "Thank you daddy.." Her voice replied, a little muffled from the mouthful of food she had, but glazed with a sweetness that coated his heart with a sugary glaze that left him warm inside. "Of course bud..."

#my fics #LMK #Sun Wukong #Sun Wu Fang #my char

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shirtlesssammy · 5 years

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14x10: Nihilism

Then:

Son of a bitch. Michael’s back.

Now:

Welcome to tonight’s AU fanfic entitled:

Dean’s living the contented life running a bar (I’ve read this fic before, but I’m intrigued) listening to The Marshall Tucker Band’s “Searching for a Rainbow” (the BIGGEST EYEBALLS EMOJI), and working with Pamela Barnes! (Wha!?!!! Yay!!!) This bar had a squirrel and a moose and the monkey from The Roadhouse and the Impala’s old license plate and “Daphne Loves Fred” engraved on the bar. Here’s a great breakdown of the bar from @bluestar86. There’s a lot here, guys. This is a Jerry Wanek deserves all the accolades and attention possible blog. Pamela and Dean discuss where Sam and Cas are (hunting a ghoul in Wichita) when a businesswoman with a briefcase arrives. Apparently she’s been trying to buy the bar from Dean, but he’s not selling.

The woman storms out back into the rain. (About that rain: I loved this post by @postmodernmulticoloredcloak)

Later, Dean’s doing paperwork in his office (WHAT A CUTE, RESPONSIBLE NERD). Pamela comes in with a couple of shots and THIS exchange happens:

Pamela: I’m heading out for a hot date.

Dean: How come you always have a boyfriend?

Pamela: How come you only want what you can’t have?

Dean: Whoa.

Pamela: Besides, you don’t want me. You just like to flirt. I’m a psychic, so I kinda know.

That was a lot to process in 30 seconds and then we’re all blindsided by Pamela’s arm? Not cool show.

Later, Dean is pulling some Texan Beer (just go read all tagged posts by @mittensmorgul) from the walk-in fridge when Pamela alerts him to trouble: Vamps are at the bar.

They make fast order of the situation and in a moment I found quite touching, Pamela starts to clear the blood off of Dean’s face, and he lets her. And I just want Dean to know how much he can be loved and cared for if he’s just let someone (*cough* CAS *cough*) do it.

This whole scene almost made me forget that THIS ISN'T REAL. After the title screen, we’re back in St. Louis, Michael is possessing Dean, and his fingersnap that we all thought would end the world, just updated his clothes to a snappy suit. Michael is so extra.

He grandstands a bit and tells Sam, Cas, and Jack that he knew their plans the whole time. Cas starts to run at Michael, giving Sam time to Molotov Cocktail him, allowing Cas to throw the archangel cuffs on Michael. Whew, Team Free Will, they really are better together. Sam pleads with Dean to hear him, but Michael mocks, “Dean’s not home right now. Please leave a message.” Meanwhile, Michael’s monsters are out in the city attacking and building an army. Maggie and the other hunters check in. They need to save other people. Sam, Cas, and Jack are on their own.

Monsters arrive before they can make their escape from the highrise. Cas can only hold the door for so long. Jack asks Sam if they’re going to die here. Sam pauses, but it gives him an idea. He calls for Jessica, the reaper. Violet arrives instead. It seems the reapers have to take shifts on monitoring the Winchesters.

Sam begs for her help, and Jack and Cas wonder who he’s talking to. They can’t see her. There’s some back and forth, and Violet appears to have a silent conversation, and without a word transports them all back to the bunker. (BILLIE! She’s got a soft spot for the Winchesters. Ok, not really, she just knows way too fucking much and it’s stressing her out.)

They wrap Michael up in chains in the war room and discuss the details of how to hold him. He informs them that he can hear them, so they move 2 feet further away from him. (I’m pretty sure he can still hear you. He is a celestial being.) Sam brings up when Crowley busted into his head when Gadreel was possessing him. Maggie calls before they can formulate a plan. The monsters have left St. Louis and are heading for Lebanon. (Sidenote: I am so creeped out how Michael says “Castiel”.) Cas and Jack head off to secure the bunker, while Sam stays and listens to Michael mock that it’s just a matter of time before he escapes and everybody dies.

Sam pulls out the British Men of Letters mind meld machine. It’s their only hope to get in Dean’s mind and alert him to what’s happening. Cas agrees.

Meanwhile, Dean continues to relive the same moments at Rocky’s Bar over and over. (Seriously depressing Mystery Spot FEELS.)

Jack is left with Michael while Sam and Cas set up the machine. This is the perfect opportunity for Michael to place the seeds of doubt in Jack about how Dean feels about him, and Jack’s place in their lives. “You’re not Sam, you’re not Cas. You’re a new burden that he was handed.” UGH. Cas interrupts, and stops Jack --making it clear that Jack shouldn’t believe a word Michael says. Jack doesn’t look him in the eye before walking away.

Meanwhile, Maggie and the other hunters are preparing to stop the onslaught of monsters.

It’s now Cas’s turn to listen to Michael’s taunts. He doesn’t bite as easy. They exchange barbs about loyalty and weakness. All AU!Michael and Lucifer wanted was for Chuck to return, and he didn’t. So now Michael just wants to “burn every one of his little worlds” until he finds him. Michael reveals that he wants to kill God. Story aside: How crackling was this scene between Misha and Jensen? Even with ZERO sexual tension, they cannot turn off their chemistry. It was beautifully shot (Bravo Amanda Tapping!) and mesmerizing to watch.

The other hunters lose track of the monsters. One hunter, Tiger, runs into the woods alone. It’s all good though! He’s fine and alerts everyone that the monsters went around them, heading for the bunker.

At the bunker, while Sam preps the machine, Jack wonders if this’ll work, and then offers to use his life-saving magic. NO BBY JACK.

Later, Sam and Michael are all plugged in.

Cas is going to mind-meld with Sam to hitch a ride. Jack is going to watch over them, making sure no one kills them.

Sam and Cas find themselves in a place astonishingly reminiscent of the Empty. It’s Dean’s mind, but he’s a no show.

Cas uses his power to scan Dean’s mind. It’s mostly just...screaming and pain. “There’s so much trauma,” Cas notes, traumatically. Having to hear the love of his life Dean in pain is hard, but the worst part is that there are so many awful memories they’ll have to sort through to find the real Dean. That’ll take time. Sam has a different theory. He thinks that Michael would swaddle Dean in something good because “Dean thrives on trauma.” Inspired, Cas begins searching for good memories and quickly locks on to the bar.

They zap to the bar, only to be confronted by the soft twang of music and Dean’s jovial greeting. Dean shills for Jensen’s beer company (which is, frankly, AHdorable) while Pamela warmly greets Cas and Sam. Both of them immediately swap stories about how they done Pamela wrong (burned out her eyes / got her killed by a demon). Oh. Bbys.

Sam tries to convince Dean that he’s living in a fantasy when Dean and Pamela zap out of there, cutting to one of their other canned scenes. The memories get increasingly choppy as Sam and Cas threaten Dean’s fake reality. Soon enough, they’re both bloodied bystanders of Dean’s monster bar fight.

For Nice Work, Special Effects Department Science:

Dean’s head is still sticking with the script, though and Pamela attributes Cas and Sam’s new blood spatters as leftover from their ghoul hunt.

Sam’s getting kind of fed up and reminds Dean of how Pamela was blinded. RUDE. Moments later, Pamela turns to them, eyes white in their sockets, claiming she’s been blind for ages. “You can thank Feathers here for that one.” (Cas looks mortified and tells Dean it was an accident. CAS BBY.) And then Dean remembers she died and she disappears.

“This is the dream!” Dean protests. Cas begs him to remember his real life and come back to them.

“Poughkeepsie,” Sam whispers suddenly after a long, searching look. Memories rush back to Dean.

“I remember,” Dean says. “I remember everything.”

Suddenly, off to the side Michael slow claps. Ugh. Go away, Michael.

He proceeds to tell veiled lies. Dean only tolerates “the angel” because he “gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” As for Sam, he was a burden well shed when he went off to college. Dean looks utterly perplexed by these stories.

Cas realizes that Michael’s stalling so his monster army can attack the bunker. Speaking of which...outside of Dean’s head the bunker door swings open and Maggie & Company rush inside. They start to lock down the bunker.

This is all okay. It’s FINE! Because Dean’s ready to take on Michael, given that Michael’s totally depowered inside Dean’s mind.

And then...it all goes to hell. In the bunker, monsters slam against the door but the bunker’s locked down. They should be safe there for a while! HOWEVER Tiger, one of the AU hunters, went into the woods alone and emerged a monster. The bunker door is actually unlocked and everyone in the bunker start to fight for their lives.

The hunters engage in a fruitless firefight against the mostly immune monsters and it’s looking like they’ll lose when…

Jack taps into his soul and zaps away some of his soul’s energy. Oh Jack. :(

Back in Dean’s head, he hits upon a brainstorm (har har?) and tells Michael that he’ll lock him up inside his own mind. He tries to shove Michael into a walk-in refrigerator and fails. Never fear, though. Because Team Free Will is here! Sam and Cas team up to trap Michael in the fridge and Dean slams home a locking pin. “I’m the cage,” Dean growls and my face melts off.

In the aftermath of the fight, Maggie promises to help clean up the mess from the fight and Sam thanks her. In the kitchen, Cas has a serious conversation with Jack. It’s 40% angry and 60% worried.

Cas tries to help Jack understand that the soul makes him who he is and he needs to protect it. “It won’t happen again,” Jack tells him and UUUUUUUGH it’s totally going to happen again oh NOOOO.

Meanwhile, Michael pounds and screams inside Dean’s head while Dean hunches over the sink in front of his mirror. “It’s only you,” he begins. “It’s all you.”

Suddenly, Billie appears.

For Science:

She knows about Michael throwing the equivalent of 80,000 keggers in Dean’s head. She tells him that Dean’s universe-crossing hijinks have delivered nothing but pain. She reminds Dean of the many notebooks describing how he might die. Since Dean’s possession, all the books have been rewritten to show Michael escaping his brain-cage and destroying the world. Actually, correction: all but one have been rewritten. She hands him a single volume. Dean opens it and….we have no idea what’s inside.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” Dean asks, looking shocked.

“That’s up to you,” Billie tells him cooly before flapping away.

Where Everybody Quotes Your Name:

How come you only want what you can’t have?

It’s a big trunk.

The worst part of workin’ here is having to clean up the blood after some pissed off monster busts in to kill you.

What can I say? I’m famous.

Put a chair against the door. That’ll help.

You’re confusing loyalty and compassion with weakness.

Get me a shot WITH YOUR BRAIN.

My mind. My rules.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn 14x10 #nihilism #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #jack kllne #michael #maggie #billie the reaper #death #pamela barnes #supernatural season 14

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criminalnourished · 7 years

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Midnight Shenanigans

~ A Shayne Topp Imagine/Fluff ~

A/N: Look, I don’t write, I was going to make a short parody, but it kept getting longer and longer and I actually kinda liked how it turned out, so I thought I’d share it. It’s super long, so if you get through it, I applaud you!

Warnings: Fluff. Like, a lot of it. (also, alcohol? like, having a drink)

Words: way too many, I like my epithets.

Enjoy!

Winter Games.

The event of the season.

And it was going to be extra special this year. Why? Because you get to go!

As one of the newly established head writers and producer, you would be reffing this year’s Games, along with Sunny, Joe and Matt and you were hardly able to contain your excitement.

The venue was the same as the previous years’ one – Big Bear.

The evening before, you were starting the slow process of packing when it hit you.

You were a part of the Smosh family and have even been in the background of a few videos, though you were more of a ‘behind the scenes’ kind of person, so this was going to be a big step. This would’ve been your first on-screen appearance that included talking. Oh geez. Your stomach churned. Oh holy geez. Mostly unscripted. Unscripted. I literally work with scripts, how in God’s name am I going to pull this off?, you thought to yourself.

Thankfully, you were taken out of your trance with a noise. That familiar iPhone ringtone we all know and never change. Standing up, crossing a mountain of bags, you reached for your phone and looked at the caller ID. Shayne. You smiled briefly before picking up. That guy always knew how to make you smile.

‘Hello?’ you said, going back to the suitcase. However, being the clumsy potato that you were, you caught your leg on a plastic bag, managing to lose your balance and fall directly on your bum, with a noisy *thud*. A loud laugh escaped the phone.

‘I get that it’s part of your “brand” to just barely be capable of walking, but please try not to die, we prefer our writers alive’ Shayne joked.

‘Ha-ha’ you said sarcastically, picking yourself up from the floor. ‘Thanks, I appreciate it. Now that you’ve told me, I am sure to stop tripping and falling over’ you joked back.

‘Perfect! Don’t say that I never did anything for you!’

‘I shall remember this piece of advice till the day I die, which will inevitably be by slipping on a banana peel or tripping over my own two feet while carrying coffee.’ He laughed.

You started organizing your clothes into neat piles on your bed.

‘And your tombstone will say “Here lies our beloved (Y/N), who forgot to follow the Great Shayne’s advice.”’ You giggled, folding a shirt into your suitcase.

‘So anyways, what are you up to?’ he asked.

‘I just started packing’ you replied.

‘Oooh, right on time! It’s only…’ he stopped, presumably looking for the exact time. ’11:43pm!’

‘Hey, I only need about an hour, I have plenty of time. Have you already packed?’

‘Yup! All done, ready to go!’

You scoffed. ‘You must’ve forgotten something.’

‘I pretty sure I haven’t. Triple-checked.’

Another scoff from you.

‘And hey, if you “only need an hour”’ he mocked, ‘that’s great, you have enough time to get food with me!’

‘Oh, Shayne, it’s almost midnight, I don’t know, and-‘ you trailed off.

‘And?’

‘And… I don’t know, we need to be up in 5 to 6 hours?’

‘That’s a terrible excuse. You’re living on your own, you make your own rules and then break them, because rules are meant to be broken, dammit!’ he said, overly enthusiastic.

You kept folding clothes into your suitcase, silently. You wanted to go, really, it seemed so fun and like the epitome of ‘living’, from what you’ve seen in those typical young adult movies. Fun, you thought, not a good enough argument. All of a sudden, your stomach grumbled. Now that’s a good argument.

‘And also, I’m kinda maybe possibly in front of your building…’ Shayne added.

You dropped the dress you were neatly trying to fold.

‘You’re what?’

‘An evolved monkey’, he said, a hint of pride in his voice.

‘No, gah! Why are you-? How did you-?’ You tried to formulate a question but failed miserably. ‘Wait, let me buzz you in.’

‘No, no, I’ve got a better idea – you come with me. I’m already here and you already said that an hour is plenty of time for packing. Plus, I can help you with that later. So…. whaddaya say?’

You approached the window looking towards the building entrance, in disbelief, but sure enough, there he was, one hand in his pocket, pacing.

‘Alright’, you sighed, ‘give me three minutes to get down there.’

‘If you don’t make it, food’s on you. And your time… starts… now! Three minutes, go!’

You threw on the first shirt you saw – a baggy gray tee with the NASA logo on it, which was way too big, pairing it with boyfriend jeans.

Forty-five seconds to go.

You grabbed your little leather backpack, along with your phone, keys and wallet, stuffing them inside violently.

Twenty-seven seconds left.

You slammed the door, locking it quickly and sprinted down the stairs, skipping over multiple steps and almost dying thrice.

As you opened the big entrance gate to the building, you heard a beep. Shayne’s phone went off, signaling your three minutes had been over.

When you looked ahead, Shayne was peering back, a Cheshire cat-sized smile was plastered across his face.

‘No!’ you yelled, while bending over, resting your hands on your knees, trying to catch a breath. ‘Nonononono, I made it, I- I… I got out of the building!’

‘Nope! Doesn’t count! Looks like I’ll be enjoying some… whatever our food of choice turns out to be.’ Shayne said smugly, putting his hands behind his head.

When you finally got your air back, you stepped towards him, holding your side. You were really out of shape.

‘But I did it, the deal was to get down here in 3 minutes!’

You approached him, slouching. He threw an arm around you, as a way of greeting you and, well, because you looked like you were barely standing. This will have proven true merely moments later, when you shifted all of your weight off of your feet, forehead pressed against his clavicle.

‘Ah, yes, but you did not stop the alarm! That’s the unspoken rule of race-bets, always stop the clock!’ he said in a matter-of-fact tone, while patting the back of your head.

‘Fiiiine’, you let out a slow sigh, still in the same place. Maybe you were exhausted after a long day at work, maybe this three-minute workout from hell got to you or maybe this scenario felt pleasant, but you didn’t move. And neither did he. You just stood there, for a good while, taking it all in. You didn’t remember how long, but at some point he stopped patting your head and just rested his chin on the top, his arms around you. It was… nice. Man, male colognes are the best, you thought to yourself.

However, this suddenly made you feel extremely aware of the close proximity in which you were, making your cheeks a few dozen shades more red. You shifted a bit and Shayne, understanding the signal, let you go, scratching his head. You couldn’t help but think you’d seen a bit of red tint in his cheeks, only for a mere second, however, as it faded away quite quickly.

‘Um… so, since midnight snackage’s on you, it’s only fair that you get to pick the place.’

‘Hmmm… the closest ‘eat-now-regret-later’ place is McDonald’s. Does that work?’

‘Ughhh, fine’, he fake-complained, ‘No, yeah, sure! That’s a few streets down, though, might be a bit of a walk’ said Shayne.

‘Or we could take my car?’

‘Nooo, come on, look at this weather’ he said whinny, pointed to the sky. It was rather beautiful. The sky was completely clear, there were a few stars visible. The air was way too warm, considering it was technically winter, a light breeze was blowing. ‘It’d be a shame if we didn’t take advantage of this, doncha think? And if you get tired… I don’t know, I’ll just carry you or something, we’ll figure it out!’

‘Why don’t we go to the drive-through, get our food, drive up to the hills and eat there? We can go for a walk and have a vehicle at our disposal, if we happen to need it! Boom, compromise!’

‘Deal!’ said Shayne, giggling slightly. You stepped towards your Mini Cooper.

‘I mean, hey, I know you’re in shape, but I feel like I could collapse any moment now’ you informed him. He chuckled, already seated in the passenger seat, seat belt on.

‘Ho, boy! Food – here we come!’

About 7 minutes later, you entered a McDonald’s drive-through, ordered way too much food, and soon enough, you were on your way for the hills.

‘Yo, drive-throughs’, said Shayne, with a mouthful of fries, ‘might be the best thing we ever came up with. No human interaction, you don’t even need to leave your car!’

‘Definitely. I’d say it’s up there with fire and the computer’ you replied.

You talked the whole ride, finding yourselves in sporadic fits of laughter. After 10ish minutes of traffic-free driving, you were there. Shayne insisted he should carry all the food, you knew that any attempt at arguing would be in vain. A short walk later, a small bench graced you with its presence and you decided to occupy it, the food bags taking most of the space.

‘Woah’, you exclaimed, trying to squeeze the BigMac™ into your mouth, ‘in the two years that I’ve lived in LA, I’ve never been here at night. It’s so peaceful and beautiful.’

‘Right? And the best part?’ he said inquisitively, looking at you, ‘The view!’ He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, with a rather constipated facial expression, barely holding in the giggles. You laughed and shook your head.

You sat there for moments? Minutes? Hours? Who knows how long, talking about… nothing yet everything, really, while eating you food as slowly as possible, and almost choking a couple of times due to excessive laughter. When you finished your meal, you felt 500lbs heavier and completely incapable of moving. Shayne removed the scrunched up wrappers and scooted a bit closer. You held your stomach and let out a long grunt, reminiscent of vocal fry.

‘I think… I think I’m just gonna stay here… live my life on this bench, y’know, become an urban myth’ you said, curling up into fetal position.

‘”The girl on bench” ’ he said, in an overly dramatic tone, patting your back, ‘some say you can still hear a faint rumble of her stomach trying to digest the ton of food she consumed on that faithful night.’ You giggled.

‘Why, oh why, cruel world must it taste so good but hurt so badly?!’ he yelled to the sky, his voice shaky.

‘Shayne! It’s midnight, keep it down’ you tried to stop laughing and act serious, but failed.

‘Whyyyy?!’ he cried, falling onto his knees in front of the bench. Your stomach started aching, this time from laughter. You stood up and approached him, with the intention of helping him get up, extending your arm, however, when he grabbed it, you wobbled in the air and ended up landing on top of him.

Good job, wow, you’ve really outdone yourself this time! you thought, while hoping for the ground to swallow you.

‘Oh my gosh’, you said, completely flustered, not looking at him. You turned your head to glance at him, noticing that his face was way closer than you initially calculated. ‘I- I- I am so sorry, that was so… Oh gosh, I’m sorry, are you okay?’ you rushed to get up. Shayne just looked at you, laughing, with an amused look on his face. He was going to make a joke, but upon seeing how utterly distressed you looked, he decided against it.

‘Of course I am, I’m great, couldn’t be better’ he stood up, holding his side, ‘minus the fractured rib you might’ve caused me, but hey, I’ll live!’

‘Hey, no, don’t’ worry, really, it’s all good!’ said Shayne, putting a hand on your scapula. A short period of silence followed. ‘Hey, wanna go pack?’

‘Oh, sure, but I can do it, really, I’d hate to keep you up, but thanks for-‘

‘Nooo, you’re not keeping me up’ he exclaimed, ‘I dragged you out, so I need to redeem myself!’

You sighed.

‘Okay, fine. But my apartment ‘s a mess, don’t say I didn’t warn you!’

Your face was still a bright shade of red, the embarrassment unbearable. You hugged yourself, as if you were cold, and kept murmuring many I’m sorry-s along the way to the car.

During the ride, the constantly opened window helped you calm down and your skin tone to go back to normal.

Much to your surprise, the mess you had left at your place before was still there. :(

‘Woah, was there a nuclear explosion here?’ Shayne asked, evidently trying to push your buttons.

‘Actually, yes, that’s very insensitive of you. How dare you bring that up?’ you played along, while taking two clean glasses from the cupboard. ‘Want some gin?’

‘Woah, hey, heyhey, I don’t know if… I..’ Shayne stuttered, evidently taken aback by this suggestion. ‘I had no idea you drank.’

‘Well… I’m full of surprises’ you said, with an over exaggerated wink. The corner of Shayne’s mouth twitched. ‘And besides, I just do it occasionally.’ He nodded. ‘So, do you want some?’

‘I… uh… sure!’ he replied, still a bit confounded.

You poured the liquid into the glasses and added two ice cubes. Taking both glasses, you approached Shayne, who was looking at the clothes you already packed and handed him the glass.

‘Y’know, I’m pretty sure you don’t really need a cocktail dress… and I’d say that’s more than enough T-Shirts for a week and a half’ he stated, taking the glass from your hand.

‘Yes I do! T-Shirts are comfortable and great for layering and that’s how you combat the cold, you layer and-‘

‘But you don’t layer T-Shirts on top of T-Shits!’

‘But- yeah, you’re right, I mostly sleep in T-Shirts’, Shayne turned his head towards you, ‘What? They’re comfy so I bring extra, in case some get dirty or sweaty, y’know.’ You took a swig of your drink, almost downing it all at once, stumbling a bit.

‘Woah, easy there, you don’t want to be hung-over for the trip’, said Shayne, steadying you.

‘Nah, don’t worry about it, it’s just gin…’

‘Okay, well, you need to pack!’

‘You said you’d help!’

‘I will! You need a supervisor, to maximize efficiency.’

‘So you’ll just sit and tell me what to do?’

‘No, don’t be silly… I might stand up eventually’, replied Shayne, evidently proud of his comeback, which earned him a disapproving headshake.

‘Oh really?’ you said, grabbing your bras and underwear from a drawer.

It was Shayne’s turn to change into a tomato, clearing his throat, trying to look anywhere else, scratching the back of his neck and basically doing every other tick in the book signaling he was uncomfortable.

You grinned mischievously, realizing what you’d done and quickly put it all away into the suitcase.

‘You can look now’, you said.

‘Oh, hah, psh, no, I- I wasn’t, I-‘ he tried to come across as calm, cool and collected, but ended up looking even more awkward. You awed and kept packing, moving on to sweaters.

You kept packing and at some point, the gin started kicking in, making you extremely sleepy. Surely enough, the process took more than an hour, even with Shayne’s eventual help. You collapsed onto your bed, headfirst, and he lied next to you, on his back.

‘This was exhausting’, you exclaimed.

‘Nah, I’d say it was fun!’ he replied. You rolled over so that you were also lying on your back.

‘Thanks for helping, I would’ve probably fallen asleep had you not been here’, you said, turning your head to look at him.

‘See?’ he beamed, ‘I told you!’ he chuckled.

This was the first time you got to look at him so closely – the laugh lines and those baby blues, the slight beard he was trying to cultivate, his radiant smile… You caught yourself staring and only then did you realize how close you actually were, which in turn made you blush profusely. He kept smiling, but his gaze trailed down your face and focusing on your lips, for a split second only. You batted your eyelashes, not knowing what to do. Sh-Should I do anything? you thought. This will just make things awkward, probably. Oh goodness I messed up again, what am I supposed to do, I-

At this point you could feel his breath on your nose. He moved his hand to brush off some of your hair. The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife, which made you panic even more. I gotta move, you thought, this will be way too weird in the long run, I should probably just cough or something or-

And then it happened. He moved just slightly towards you, closing the tiny gap that remained between the two of you. Your mind, while racing up until that point, was completely blank – no worry, no panic, just bliss. The kiss was shorter than you would’ve hoped for, yet still sweet, making you smile like a mad man, which in turn made his lips curve into a grin, as well.

Shayne was gently caressing your cheek. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by you initiating another kiss, this one deeper and more passionate than expected. He put one hand on the back of your neck and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer, while you held onto his shirt and neck. A few minutes later, you broke apart, neither of you able to stop smiling. You laid there for a few minutes, intertwined, without saying a word.

After some time, you tried to move, but Shayne’s embrace wouldn’t let you.

‘Shayne’, you called out. No response.

You looked up and saw him pretending to be asleep.

‘Shayne’, you repeated. No response. You tried wiggling out of his grip, but couldn’t. He started laughing, eyes still firmly shut.

You placed a kiss on his clavicle, which instantly made him open his eyes and look at you.

‘Wanna watch a movie?’ you asked.

‘Depends on what you got’, Shayne said, seemingly loosening his grip.

‘I’ve got whatever you want’, you beamed. ‘Well, I don’t, but the torrents do!’

‘”Space Jam” it is, woo!’ he exclaimed, throwing his arm in the air. You laughed and mimicked his ‘woo’.

‘Okay, I’ll go set it up, you refill our glasses and get the popcorn ready, there’s some in the cabinet.’

A few minutes later, everything was in order and you were huddled up on the sofa. The movie started playing and you immediately started commentating out loud, laughing. Neither of you said anything about what had happened, which was bound to backfire, but at the moment it seemed fine.

The file you had illegally downloaded was buffering quite a bit and you were really tired… I’ll close my eyes just for a few seconds, you thought.

And lo and behold, you fell asleep. As soon as he noticed, Shayne spent a few moments looking at you, wondering whether he should carry you to your bed or leave you be. He ended up choosing the latter, as your bed still contained the residue of a nuclear explosion that took place earlier. He tried to move, in search of a blanket, however, you fell asleep on him and he just didn’t have the heat to move you. Instead, he threw an arm around you and you got even comfier. Shayne lost track of time – for a certain period, he was just observing your serene expression, but he ended up falling asleep next to you.

Feedback is highly appreciated, hit up my inbox or leave a comment or sth, thanks. :3

#oh gosh what have i done #im sorry #smosh #shayne topp #shayne topp imagine #shayne topp x reader #smosh shayne #fluff #feedback #smosh squad

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leadershipinalison-blog · 7 years

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Week 2: First Week at East West Players!

My first week at East West Players (EWP) has come to an end! Despite considerable amounts of (important) busy work, my first week at my CBO flew by, and I feel really grateful to be placed at EWP and continue working with them :) Not going to lie, the week started out a little rocky—I thought that the work day started at 9 AM, so I arrived at the building at 8:40 AM, only to realize that I didn’t know how to get into the office and couldn’t get in contact with my supervisor to let her know I had arrived. Note to self—explicitly ask about how to get into work and double check work hours. It turned out that the office didn’t open until 10 AM, and unfortunately the beginning of this week was incredibly hot, and I was going to be stuck outside for a while. To top that off, my first attempt at entering the office resulted in me setting off the emergency alarm in the EWP theater. All of the staff was alerted, and I ended up running into someone because they came to the office early to check out why the alarm had been set off. Oops… in the end I did reveal a security breach and I learned some important lessons!

My main task for my first week at EWP was to put together the Encore Card packets and distribute them to small businesses around Little Tokyo. The Encore Card is a benefits program at EWP, where subscribers and donors of EWP are offered a slew of discounts and deals with businesses in Little Tokyo and the nearby Arts District. Since new businesses are always opening, every year the card is updated. I worked on this with a fellow intern, Kelly, and we made our rounds in Little Tokyo and the Arts District to renew partnerships and also approach new businesses. I was pretty nervous about this process because I feel like many businesses are not open to this type of program, but luckily I only encountered one rude person (at Tenno Sushi, in case you were wondering…). At first the employee was open to listen to what I had to say, but once he realized why I approached him, he laughed and said “we don’t care”. It was quite patronizing, and while I am usually not one to let people step over me, I left respectfully and reminded myself to not act like I am above any conversation or idea.

My other main task at my CBO was to input audience feedback survey answers into Survey Monkey. EWP just finished showing their production of the Broadway musical, Next to Normal, and they had hundreds of paper surveys filled out by audience members that needed to be inputted digitally so that later the data could be analyzed. This was the more tedious work I had to complete, but I learned a great deal from reading people’s surveys. I don’t see productions often and I am not involved in the theater world, but through the surveys, I learned about sites like Today Tix and goldstar.com that offer deals on different shows and alert you of upcoming events. It was really amazing to see so many people appreciating and supporting EWP for its representation of APIs onstage. I also felt affirmed by all of the people who highlighted that seeing Next to Normal being performed by an all-API cast helped them foster crucial conversation about mental health among their communities. To give some context, Next to Normal follows the life of a family whose mother has bipolar disorder. In the feedback forms, people would write about how thankful they were to see a performance that openly addressed mental health issues among APIs, and some specifically addressed how bipolar disorder affected them and/or their families. For me, I feel so grateful to be a part of an organization that not only strives for API representation in the performing arts, but has specifically identified and addressed mental health as a pressing issue among APIs. Coming from a family where mental health issues are quite visible (which is not so common among APIs) and bipolar disorder is prevalent, reading people’s feedback on how the show addressed API mental health really hit home for me. Before becoming a part of EWP, I didn’t even know about Next to Normal, and honestly could not have imagined any portrayal of API mental health in a serious production. While I did not get to see the show, EWP’s Next to Normal stands as an incredible feat in my mind, and I really hope I can see similar productions in the future.

On Friday, I met up with the other LIA interns for our first day together after our time at our CBOs. It was interesting to hear about everyone else’s experiences, and I realized that my work/work environment at EWP was quite different from the others. I would say that my experience is relatively structured, as I have tasks for every week as well as ongoing busy work to fill in gaps during the day. My supervisor definitely takes my contract seriously, and I appreciate this because I work best with a plan and clear expectations. While we were going around talking about our first weeks, some interns noted that they had an unexpected amount of freedom at work, and while to a certain extent this can be really healthy, it was also made it a bit difficult to work efficiently in a new environment. So I guess I’m reflecting on this because I am thankful that I have clear tasks at work, and a supervisor who is willing to work with me and my skills. I’m also really glad that I have a co-intern who works the same position as me, and we can go over tasks together and get through things faster.

Our activity on Friday morning was with Fatima Bustos-Choy, and we went through a mindfulness exercise with her to try and unite our mind and our body and work on personal mental goals. Usually I am really bad at trying to focus on one thing and be still, but it was my goal to go through the session and clear my mind. I tried not to be impatient and instead immerse myself in the activities, and I came out of it feeling much calmer. Fatima spoke extensively about energies, and I think it is important for me to focus on bringing my mind and my body in the same place, as usually I am scrambling around multiple places at once (mentally, physically, and spiritually), and my energy fizzles out. I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to focus for almost the entire session, and I think that is a positive sign in terms of how I reach my own mindfulness.

In the afternoon, our intern cohort worked on our community project idea. This was a difficult session, and we felt frustrated because we had so many ambitions but knew that we had limited resources and limited time. We also had to juggle with various ideas and various skills of different people, and make sure that we were all happy with our final idea. While we did eventually settle on a project by combining different ideas, I think that since we are still in the beginning stages of formulating the project, we all have slightly different ideas on it. Nonetheless, I will relay what I believe we have decided on. We would like to create workshop for APIs that addresses our prompt (Given the current administration, the API community is divided. How would you unite the community? How can you encourage people to expand their networks and create dialogue amongst different parties within the community?) through storytelling. We want to explore storytelling in many different forms: writing, sharing circles, film, art, etc. I really love the storytelling focus of our workshop because I think it builds an environment of trust and connection among people, and to know one another intimately helps us understand our diverse communities and our histories. One of the outcomes of our workshop is to create a virtual map of stories, and thus have a record of stories that we are willing to share, situated in their time and space. I think this might be a combination of short films (people telling their story to a camera) and written stories. We presented to Mayta at the end of the session, however she urged us to be more specific about what exactly our workshop would be addressing (a specific issue within the API community) and also decide on a target audience of participants. Both of these questions are essential for us to carry out a successful project, and we are planning to meet up and finalize our answers so that we can give Mayta an updated proposal. I am definitely excited for our project, but I also have my worries about overestimating what we can accomplish, given that we only have 6 more weeks left together (and 4-5 more Friday sessions). At the same time, I think we have all been in situations where we have bitten off more than we can chew, and I am hoping that we can all stay grounded and realistic about what we can accomplish given our budget, the time we have to organize the workshop, and also the problems we encounter given our different work/communication styles. Of course, this blog will follow our progress and ups and downs, and ultimately I think we will pour a lot of love in this project and see it through. I’ll be ending the blog here, but stay tuned for reflections from Week 3 :)

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