#i cant believe i made this whole thing

[fauxyz]

every time andrew and neil touch, in order

i wanted to make this list for a while to help me with fic writing, and then once i did, i figured i should share it in case anyone else found it interesting!

for each touch, i've included the book and chapter, a little bit of context, and the quote describing the touch. (a note because this is so long: when the quotes/scenes are long, i cut some pieces out to focus on just the moments where they touch, so these are not always complete quotes.)

first touch moment is below, and the rest are under a cut because this list got LONG. enjoy! :)

--

1. the foxhole court, chapter 2, when leaving wymack's office to head to the foxhole court for the first time:

"I don't need to be persuasive," Andrew said, putting a hand to Neil's chest as the elevator slowed to a stop. "You'll just learn to do what I say." The doors slid open behind Neil. As soon as they'd parted enough Andrew gave Neil a small push. Neil tripped backward into the lobby. Andrew shoved past him, bumping him from shoulder to hip, and headed for the door.

2. the foxhole court, chapter 3, when andrew sneaks up on neil while neil is looking at the single-stall showers in the locker room:

Lashing out was instinctive, but Andrew caught the elbow Neil would have slammed into his ribs. Andrew laughed and retreated a couple steps.

3. the foxhole court, chapter 7, before leaving for eden's twilight, when andrew sees neil without his contacts:

Neil couldn't leave with Andrew in the way, so he stopped as close to Andrew as he dared and waited for Andrew to move. Andrew did, but only to reach out for Neil with one hand. Neil tensed as Andrew's fingers wrapped around the back of his neck, but Andrew only wanted to pull Neil's head down. Neil focused on Andrew's cheekbone so as not to go cross-eyed and let Andrew study his eyes.

4. the foxhole court, chapter 7, on the way to columbia, when aaron wakes andrew in the backseat:

Andrew's elbow slammed into his diaphragm hard enough to double Neil up over his knees. Aaron, completely unsympathetic, snapped his fingers over Neil's head at Andrew. "Exit," he said. Andrew braced himself on Neil's back and leveraged himself between the front seats.

5. the foxhole court, chapter 7, when neil realizes his drinks were drugged:

Neil lurched to his feet, but Andrew grabbed him by his hair and slammed him back into his seat. A cruel twist pulled his head back at a dangerous angle, and Andrew slammed Neil's hand flat against the tabletop. Neil lifted his other hand to pry Andrew's fingers off, but Nicky caught his wrist. [...] Neil wrenched his hand out from under Andrew's, but Andrew gave his head a warning yank. A bolt of heat went down Neil's neck. Neil hissed in pain and went still. Andrew slid out of his chair and leaned against Neil, letting Neil take his weight while he checked Neil's eyes.

6. the foxhole court, chapter 7, when neil is wandering through the crowd at eden's twilight:

A hand came up against the small of his back and shoved. The push got him free of the crowd and sent him crashing into the back wall.

7. the foxhole court, chapter 8, when neil told andrew the first bit of truth about being nothing and wanting what kevin has:

Andrew reached up and forcibly uncurled Neil's fingers from his mouth. He pushed Neil's hand out of the way and stared Neil down with nothing between them.

8. the foxhole court, chapter 13, after neil protected kevin from riko on kathy's show:

"It's fine, Coach," Andrew said, catching up to them. He touched Neil's back on his way by, fingers light enough to give Neil goose bumps, but didn't slow on his way to Kevin's side.

9. the foxhole court, chapter 13, when talking to andrew after andrew punched the window in his down, and when neil wanted to run after realizing riko was coming after him:

Neil turned away, but Andrew was faster. He rocked forward and grabbed Neil's collar, dragging him to a halt before he could leave. He left sticky blood on the back of Neil's neck from his messy fingers. Neil reached back and tried to pry him off, but Andrew refused to let go.

10. the foxhole court, chapter 14, when neil decided not to run and to come with andrew to eden's instead:

He pressed two fingers to Neil's throat, checking his pulse. When Neil tried to bat him away, Andrew caught his wrist with his free hand. His smile was small and fierce as he leaned forward into Neil's space. "Remember this feeling. This is the moment you stop being the rabbit." Neil was too startled to answer, but Andrew didn't wait. He slid past Neil, using the weight of his body and his grip on Neil's wrist to pull Neil with him out of the way of the door. He let go in the middle of the hallway and slipped his hands in his pockets to wait.

11. the foxhole court, chapter 14, at eden's twilight that night:

A group of people shouldered their way up to the bar counter at Neil's back, pushing him into Andrew. Andrew didn't budge beneath his weight. He was something solid to lean against, something violent and fierce and unmoving.

12. the foxhole court, chapter 14, after finding out about seth's death, when neil asks andrew if he drinks so he doesn't have to feel anything for a while:

Andrew turned to face him. Neil wasn't expecting it and almost ran into him. Andrew dug his fingertip into the hollow of Neil's throat in warning.

13. the foxhole court, chapter 14, when neil says he won't bargain with the foxes' lives against riko, and andrew says he'll handle it:

Neil said nothing. Andrew hooked his fingers in the collar of Neil's shirt and tugged just enough for Neil to feel it. [...] Andrew didn't let go until Neil nodded, and then he reached for Neil's hand. He took his cigarette back, put it between his lips, and pressed a warm key into Neil's empty palm.

14. the raven king, chapter 5, when andrew calls neil's phone and convinces him to keep it:

"I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it." Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil's chin and forced Neil's head up until they were looking at each other.

15. the raven king, chapter 9, when neil asks if the other foxes can come with them on halloween and andrew tells neil to ask matt what happened the previous year:

When Neil started to argue, Andrew hooked a finger under his chin and forced his mouth closed again with an easy jerk of his hand.

16. the raven king, chapter 10, when neil asks andrew to come with nicky to see his parents, and andrew tells neil about cass:

Andrew rocked onto the balls of his feet and reached for Neil. It was all Neil could do to not tense up when Andrew's hands wrapped around his neck. Andrew didn't hold tight enough to cut off his air but tapped his thumbs against Neil's throat in time to Neil's pulse. [...] Andrew tapped his fingers a little faster, an agitated rhythm completely at odds with the mocking smile on his lips. [...] Finally Andrew reached for him again. This time he hooked his fingers in Neil's shirt collar instead of going for his throat.

17. the raven king, chapter 11, when andrew takes off his wristbands and neil sees his scars for the first time:

Neil grabbed hold of Andrew's wrist. He started to turn Andrew's arm over, sure he'd imagined things, but Andrew clamped his free hand down on Neil's forearm. [...] The iron in his grip was at complete odds with the drugged smile on his face. Andrew wasn't bluffing. If Neil didn't let go fast enough Andrew would break his arm. Neil loosened his grip but spread his fingers as he did so. He felt the slight dip and bump of destroyed skin beneath his fingertips and felt his stomach drop. Andrew wrenched Neil's hand off his arm, but he did it in a way that kept his bared forearm turned toward himself.

18. the raven king, chapter 12, when neil and andrew speak on the porch of nicky's house, and neil tries to get an emotional response from him:

Andrew laughed and pulled a hand free of his pocket. He wrapped his fingers around Neil's throat, not tight enough to cut off Neil's air but snug enough to be a warning. [...] Neil reached up and took hold of Andrew's wrist. He couldn't feel the scars through the cotton sleeve but he didn't need to. He knew they were there. [...] Andrew's fingers slowly tightened until Neil couldn't breathe anymore. He refused to shake Andrew off. The tightness in his chest started as simple discomfort but spread until it felt like every bone in his chest would break beneath the pressure. Neil's control started to crumble, no matter how fiercely he clung to it, and he'd just shifted to throw Andrew back when Andrew finally loosened his grip. Instead of letting go, Andrew slid his hand around back of Neil's neck and pulled him in close. He put his mouth at Neil's ear and lowered his voice, but Neil didn't have to see his face to know Andrew was still smiling.

19. the raven king, chapter 13, when neil says he'll watch kevin while andrew is in the hospital:

Andrew took a couple quick steps his direction and shoved Neil as hard as he could. Neil knew it was coming and tried to brace for it, but he still stumbled back a couple steps. [...] When Andrew pushed him again Neil caught hold of his arms and pulled Andrew with him. [...] He laughed, curled his fingers tight around Neil's chin.

20. the raven king, chapter 13, when neil lets andrew feel his scars as part of his truth on credit to earn andrew's trust:

Neil waited, but Andrew didn't let go. With so many people watching them Neil couldn't lift his shirt. He did the next best thing and dragged one of Andrew's hands under the hem. He pressed Andrew's palm to the ugly scarring across his abdomen. Andrew's eyes dropped to Neil's shirt like he could see Neil's marred skin through the dark cotton. [...] Andrew's fingers twitched against Neil's skin.

21. the king's men, chapter 1, when they get back to psu after picking andrew up from easthaven:

Neil was the first out and he caught Andrew's door before Andrew could close it. Andrew didn't move, but there was just enough room for Neil to lean in and get his binder. He straightened and turned to find Andrew had shifted closer. There was nowhere for Neil to stand except up against Andrew, but somehow Neil didn't mind.

22. the king's men, chapter 1, when neil gave his armbands back:

His gaze dropped immediately to the dark cloth in Neil's outstretched hand and he took them without a word.

23. the king's men, chapter 1, when andrew found out neil went to the ravens over the winter break and realized about the tattoo:

He scratched up a corner of the tape and ripped the bandage off like he wanted to take Neil's face with it.

24. the king's men, chapter 1, when neil said he went to the ravens to protect andrew:

Andrew clapped a hand over his mouth, smothering the rest of his words, and Neil knew he'd failed.

25. the king's men, chapter 2, when andrew goes to get neil from the library:

Fingers digging into the back of his skull startled him awake. He grabbed for a gun, for a knife, for anything close enough to buy him room to flee, and sent the computer mouse skidding across the table. Neil stared blankly at it, then at the screen in front of him. Fingers clenched into a fist in his hair and Neil didn't resist as Andrew forcibly tilted his head back.

26. the king's men, chapter 2, when neil got between matt and andrew when andrew went after matt for hitting kevin:

He used his body and momentum to shove Andrew back. He expected Andrew to hold his ground, but Andrew let himself get pushed and flicked Neil an unconcerned look.

27. the king's men, chapter 2, when neil protested that he could still walk when wymack says he doesn't want neil to move too much because of his injuries:

Andrew dug a fingernail into the hollow of Neil's throat until he had Neil's undivided attention. "Sit down and be still." Neil batted Andrew's hand away and turned back to the couch.

28. the king's men, chapter 2, when neil protested that wymack was benching him because of his injuries:

Neil forgot the rest of his argument when Andrew pinched his wrist. A bolt of fire popped through his fingers and he snatched his hand away as fast as he could.

29. the king's men, chapter 3, when andrew sees neil's scars for the first time (lots of touches here):

He got his shirt over his head and to his elbows before Andrew got tired of watching him struggle and tugged the shirt loose. [...] Andrew reached for the bandages on Neil's wrists, and Neil let him rip tape and gauze off. [...] On Neil's right shoulder was a burn scar, courtesy of getting smacked by a hot iron. Andrew put his left hand to it, fingertips lining up perfectly with the raised bumps the iron's holes had left behind. His right thumb found the puckered flesh from a bullet. [...] "This," Andrew dug his fingers harder into the iron mark, "is not from a life on the run." [...] Andrew was quiet a long time, then dropped his hand to the slashes across Neil's gut.

30. the king's men, chapter 9, when they talk on the roof and andrew gives neil a key to his new car:

Andrew dug a finger in Neil's cheek and forcibly turned his head away. "Don't look at me like that. I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren't mine."

31. the king's men, chapter 9, when andrew kisses him for the first time:

With that, Andrew caught Neil's face in his hands and leaned in. [...] Andrew kissed him like this was a fight with their lives on the line, like his world stopped and started with Neil's mouth. Neil's heart stuttered to a stop at the first hard press of lips against his and he reached up without thinking. His hand made it as far as Andrew's jaw before he remembered Andrew didn't like to be touched. Neil caught hold of Andrew's coat sleeve instead and knotted his fingers in the heavy wool. The touch was a trigger. Andrew leaned back just enough to say, "Tell me no."

32. the king's men, chapter 9, when neil doesn't say no to the kiss:

He practically shoved Neil's arm away from him and leaned back out of Neil's space.

33. the king's men, chapter 10, when they kiss back in the dorm (cut some of the end of this scene for length):

Neil took the pint from Andrew's unresisting fingers, stacked it on top of his, and leaned in. He stopped shy of actually kissing Andrew, not daring to touch him until Andrew gave him a green light. Andrew's expression didn't change but there was a subtle shift in his body's tension that told Neil he'd gotten Andrew's attention. Neil lifted a hand but stopped it a safe difference from Andrew's face. Andrew caught hold of his wrist and squeezed in warning. [...] For a second Neil thought Andrew would push him away and be done with this. Andrew did push, but he followed Neil down. The short carpet was rough against Neil's knuckles where Andrew pinned his hand over his head. Neil couldn't complain when Andrew was an unyielding weight on top of him. He started to reach for Andrew again but stopped himself halfway there. Andrew snagged that hand too and held it down out of the way. "Stay," Andrew said, and leaned down to kiss him.

34. the king's men, chapter 10, when neil asks andrew to let something in after the foxes win and move onto round three of finals:

Andrew pushed Neil out of the way and slid off the car.

35. the king's men, chapter 11, when neil and andrew are alone in the dorm again, after andrew talks about how he hasn't figured out which neil is the lesser of two evils:

His fingers were cold from the can when he curled them around Neil's chin. [...] Andrew waited until he'd gone still before kissing him. [...] He was cotton-headed and unsteady by the time Andrew pressed his other hand flat against Neil's abdomen. Every nerve ending from his chest down seemed to twitch in response. Neil clenched his hands into fists like that would keep them where they were and let Andrew back him into the wall.

36. the king's men, chapter 11, after neil's phone goes off with his countdown text while they're kissing:

Neil kissed his neck, hoping to distract him, and was rewarded with a startled jolt. That was enough reason to do it again. Andrew pushed his face away, but they were standing too close together for Neil to miss the way he shivered. Andrew kissed him before Neil could say anything about it. Andrew pushed him harder into the wall, mapping him out through his shirt from shoulders to waist and back again. He'd had his hands on Neil's bare skin just a couple weeks ago when he saw Neil's scars, but this felt completely different. This was Andrew learning every inch and edge of him. His hands had never felt this heavy or hot before. Every press and demanding slide of his fingers sent heat curling through Neil's veins.

37. the king's men, chapter 11, when andrew moves neil's hands to touch him while they're kissing:

He hadn't said that aloud, but as if on cue Andrew followed Neil's arms down to his wrists and poked his fingers into Neil's pockets. He was making sure Neil's hands were still there, Neil guessed, so Neil twisted his hands deeper in response. Andrew caught hold of his wrists and squeezed to stop him. After a moment's consideration he pulled Neil's hands free and held them up by his head. He kissed Neil like he wanted to bruise his lips and leaned back to fix Neil with an intense stare. "Just here." "Okay," Neil said, and dug his fingers into Andrew's hair as soon as Andrew's grip went slack. [...] All that mattered now was how easy it was to pull Andrew in for another kiss. Andrew slowly let go of his wrists and placed a hand flat on Neil's chest. They stood like that an age, Andrew testing Neil's control and Neil content to kiss their mouths numb.

38. the king's men, chapter 11, andrew getting neil off for the first time (some of this quote is cut because this scene was too long):

Andrew's hand between his legs was an unexpected weight. Neil didn't realize how tight he twisted his fingers in Andrew's hair until Andrew bit his lower lip in warning. Neil grumbled something incoherent and forcibly loosened his death grip. He thought he tasted blood, but it was a fleeting tang quickly forgotten as Andrew got his button and zipper undone. Andrew wasn't gentle, but Neil didn't want him to be. [...] They stood cheek-to-cheek a minute, an hour, a day, Neil's heart pounding in his temples and overloaded nerves shuddering. Coherent thought came back in lazy, fractured pieces and the first thing Neil was really aware of was how tight Andrew's fingers were digging into his chest. Neil tried to look down, but Andrew gave him a short shove in response. [...] Neil flexed his fingers in Andrew's hair, fixing his grip so he could tug Andrew into a short kiss. Andrew tolerated it for only a moment before leaning back. He wiped his hand on Neil's shirt before tugging at Neil's wrists. Neil obediently let go of him and didn't miss the way Andrew watched him lower his hands.

39. the king's men, chapter 11, when they start kissing more often:

Andrew pinned him against chilly concrete and worked hot hands under his shirt.

40. the king's men, chapter 11, when they're chatting on the roof and neil takes andrew's cigarette:

Andrew pinched his wrist and took the stick back.

41. the king's men, chapter 11, after neil shuts andrew up by saying he is nothing and andrew wants nothing:

"Stop talking," Andrew said, and kissed him.

42. the king's men, chapter 12, on the bus alone before the game on his last countdown day when neil says he still doesn't swing because all he wants is andrew:

He buried his hands in Andrew's hair and tugged him in for a kiss. It was easy to forget this endless ride and tonight's game with Andrew's hand on his thigh and teeth on his lip.

43. the king's men, chapter 14, in the hotel meeting for the first time after neil was taken:

The weight of a hand on the back of his neck said he'd bought Andrew enough time to reach him. Nathaniel didn't remember closing his eyes, but he forced them open again. He tried straightening, but Andrew caught his shoulder and shoved him to his knees.

44. the king's men, chapter 14, andrew kneeling in front of neil to look at him in the hotel:

Andrew's expression was deceptively calm, but there was iron in his grip when he seized Nathaniel's chin.

45. the king's men, chapter 14, andrew looking over neil's injuries:

Andrew let go of him so he could tug Nathaniel's hood out of the way. He dragged a finger along the lines of tape keeping the myriad of bandages in place as if looking for the best place to start. He tore the gauze off Nathaniel's right cheek first, exposing the striped lines left by Lola's knife. He favored the stitches with a cursory glance before moving on. The tape on Nathaniel's other cheek hurt like hell coming off, since it pulled the skin around his burns, and Andrew froze with his hand a few scant inches from Nathaniel's face.

46. the king's men, chapter 14, andrew looking at the burns and injuries on neil's face:

Andrew pressed two fingers to the underside of Nathaniel's chin to turn his head. Nathaniel let himself be guided and said nothing while Andrew looked his fill. When Andrew dropped his hand and clenched it in Nathaniel's hoodie, Nathaniel risked looking back at him. There was violence in Andrew's eyes, but at least he hadn't shoved Nathaniel away yet.

47. the king's men, chapter 14, when neil tells andrew why he didn't say anything about his father's men to protect the foxes and that he didn't know they'd already planned a riot:

Nathaniel still had his hands up by Andrew's face, so he lightly tapped a thumb against the bruise at Andrew's eye.

48. the king's men, chapter 14, when abby tries to approach when she sees neil's face:

He caught hold of Nathaniel to turn his face forward again and shot Abby a look so vicious she stopped in her tracks.

49. the king's men, chapter 14, when neil tries to get andrew to focus on him and not abby:

Nathaniel gave Andrew's hair a cautious tug. Andrew resisted the first two attempts but finally let Nathaniel drag his attention back where it needed to be.

50. the king's men, chapter 14, when abby backs off:

He didn't hear her step back but he knew she did by the way Andrew's death grip on his skull relaxed. Nathaniel kept one hand buried in Andrew's hair but finally lowered the other.

51. the king's men, chapter 14, when neil tells andrew what happened to his father:

He crossed a precarious line and pressed two fingers to Andrew's chest over his heart.

52. the king's men, chapter 14, when neil says he'll leave if andrew doesn't want him:

Andrew hooked his fingers in the collar of Nathaniel's sweatshirt and tugged just enough for him to feel it.

53. the king's men, chapter 14, when browning keeps interrupting their time with neil:

Andrew tugged Nathaniel's hoodie and said in German, "Get rid of them before I kill them."

54. the king's men, chapter 14, on the car ride back from the interrogation:

Neil sat in the backseat with Andrew and toyed with the bandages on his face. Andrew popped the back of his head when he realized what Neil was doing and ignored Neil's scowl.

55. the king's men, chapter 14, when neil starts panicking when he sees his injuries when abby changes his bandages:

Neil didn't know what sound he made but Andrew's fingers were a sudden and unforgiving weight on the back of his neck. Andrew pushed him forward and held him down. Neil tried to breathe but his chest was as tight as a rubber band ready to snap.

56. the king's men, chapter 14, after andrew gets neil to calm down:

He went limp and let Andrew pull him back upright.

57. the king's men, chapter 15, when andrew is trying to get neil ready for a shower while matt is still in the room:

Andrew waited until he was seated before lifting the bottom edge of Neil's hoodie. He raised it an inch or two, then checked another spot, and finally poked his hand up under the edge.

58. the king's men, chapter 15, when neil struggles getting undressed for a shower:

Andrew gave him only a second before peeling the sleeves off his arms one at a time.

59. the king's men, chapter 15, andrew putting the bags over his bandages and injuries:

Andrew pulled a garbage bag over each arm, tore the excess edges off, and taped the jagged ends to Neil's biceps. He tugged at both bags to check for any give and added another layer of tape to be sure. When Neil's arms were good, Andrew started on his face. He picked up one of the plastic ends he'd torn off, folded it over and over in on itself, and taped it over one of Neil's cheeks like a shiny black bandage. Neil was pretty sure Andrew put more tape than plastic on Neil's face, but Neil wasn't going to complain. Andrew finished his other cheek and inspected his handiwork. Neil guessed he was satisfied with the end result because Andrew tossed the scissors and roll of tape off to one side.

60. the king's men, chapter 15, when neil tries to secure the blanket around his shoulders but can't because of the bags on his hands: 

Andrew watched him try twice, then pushed his hands aside and did it for him.

61. the king's men, chapter 15, when getting into the shower:

Andrew studied his chest with a bored look, but the fingers he pressed to Neil's scars were a heavy and lingering weight.

62. the king's men, chapter 15, in the bathroom before the shower:

Neil leaned in to kiss him, needing to know if Andrew would lean away or push him back. Instead Andrew opened his mouth to Neil without hesitation and slid his hand up Neil's chest to his throat. Kissing hurt his injured cheeks but Neil fought to ignore that twinging pain. It'd only been a couple days since those kisses on the bus but right now it felt like forever.

63. the king's men, chapter 15, after kissing, before showering:

"You are a mess," Andrew said against Neil's lips.

64. the king's men, chapter 15, getting in the shower:

Neil stepped on the hems of his pants to get them started in coming off, but Andrew did most of the work stripping him. It was awkward being naked in front of someone else, his scars and bruises on full display, but the uncomfortable curl in Neil's gut was eased somewhat by the detached way Andrew handled him.

65. the king's men, chapter 15, hair washing: 

A hand in his hair jarred him from his thoughts and he cracked his eyes open to see Andrew standing in front of him. Andrew hadn't bothered to get undressed aside from stripping his bands and shoes off. Water plastered his black shirt to him, and small streams raced down his temples and over his cheeks to drip off his chin. Neil reached for his face, remembered the bags just in time, and frowned a bit in annoyance. Andrew pushed his hand aside and yanked the shower curtain closed.

66. the king's men, chapter 15, not washing anymore (ended this quote early but we all know what happens next): 

Andrew got Neil's hair washed efficiently, if not gently, but by the time he moved on to Neil's body there was more kissing than cleaning. Andrew made the mistake of turning his face away at one point, so Neil chased water down the side of Andrew's neck. Andrew's fingers clenched convulsively on Neil's sides as a shudder wracked Andrew's frame. [...]

67. the king's men, chapter 15, after the shower: 

Andrew scrubbed him dry, careful around his injuries and too-vigorous everywhere else, and peeled the dripping bags from Neil's arms and face. Andrew ran a considering finger along the bandages on Neil's left arm before helping Neil into the loosest clothes he owned.

68. the king's men, chapter 15, first night on vacation with the foxes:

Andrew wasn't far behind him, and together they got Neil changed out for bed. [...] Despite his reservations, there was something painfully familiar about the weight of another body in his bed. Less familiar was the way it felt being pushed deeper into the mattress, Andrew's hands on his shoulders and tongue in his mouth, but that was something Neil could definitely get used to. [...] He buried his unease and confusion deep and worked bandaged fingers into Andrew's hair. He didn't care how much it hurt so long as he could pull Andrew's elbow. Andrew wrenched out of his grip but stopped moving.

69. the king's men, chapter 15 (the second one), after andrew confronts katelyn in the library:

Neil let him get to the railing overlooking the campus pond before catching hold of Andrew's elbow. Andrew wrenched out of his grip but stopped moving.

70. the king's men, chapter 15 (the second one), after asking how andrew can stand to be with neil after everything he'd been through:

Then Andrew was back, as calm and uncaring as always, and he caught Neil's wrist to push his hand to his side. He dug his fingers in before letting go, not quite hard enough to hurt, and said, "That's why."

71. the king's men, chapter 15 (the second one), when they're alone after winning a game and the rest of the team celebrated:

Andrew was ready when Neil turned back to him, and he caught Neil's collar to pull him down. Neil planted one hand against the rough carpet to keep himself leveraged off Andrew's body. The other he buried in the beanbag near Andrew's head. Andrew dragged a hand down Neil's arm from his shoulder to his wrist.

72. the king's men, chapter 15 (the second one), when neil told andrew he's not a pipe-dream:

Neil ignored that dismissal because Andrew was already pulling him down again. They kissed until Neil felt dizzy, until he wasn't sure he could hold himself up anymore, and then Andrew pulled Neil's hand off the beanbag chair. He held it up away from them for an eternity, then slowly pressed it flat against his chest and let go. Andrew tensed up underneath Neil's hand but relaxed before Neil could pull away.

73. the king's men, chapter 16, at eden's twilight:

The club was too loud for Neil to hear Andrew's approach, but suddenly Andrew was pressed into his side by the crowd.

74. the king's men, epilogue, when neil realizes he has everything he wants:

Now he couldn't help but smile and pull Andrew in.

#andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #i might have missed some things but #wow lol looking at this list #i cant believe i made this whole thing #anyway i hope this is helpful or at least cool to look at for other people #i'm just the kind of guy who likes to make spreadsheets about everything so of course i have spreadsheets crossreferencing so much in aftg #aftg #all for the game #UGH had to edit this because tumblr didnt save one of my earlier edits and I didn't realize until now

[mblue-art]

here's a rushed shitpost that sums up my crossrot

#cross!sans #shitpost #memes #mblue art #crossrot #. #yeah i had cross brainrot again a week prior to when i made this shitpost- #oh yeah this definitely also sums up that silly arc of me starting to simp for the guy #since i used most of the art from that whole thing for this meme lmao #lol calling myself out with this kjsgnkj #lllook i saw this meme and i thought it was funny ok #ever feel tsundere for someone for?? some damn reason??? yeah. yeah #(i cant believe my brain keeps switching from simping between lust and cross hhhthrgrhf jeeeese///) #(i'll be uhh back w my lust bullsht soon im just . busy w irl stuff currently;;)

[darehearts]

ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF ME INJECTING YOU ALL WITH ANGST AND SADS SINCE MY NO ANGST CHALLENGE HAS ENDED TODAY GOOD MORNING

#i know i made this joke this morning already for some of you but #WHATEVER i am funny sometimes sdkfkskff i cant believe i lasted #a whole day without talking about sad things look at me go honestly #but enough of that nonsense back to your regularly scheduled sad #cinnamon roll white guy in space hours skdfkskfk lmao #tbd

[dragon-tamer-1]

I want to be able to reblog people's art without having to worry about people's negative reactions when it's someone that a majority of people don't like, is that so much to ask?

Why must it be a problem if I like someone's art even if the person believes in something others don't? Why must people treat people like they're bad for liking someone's art and writing when others don't like that person because of their beliefs?

I'm just hanging out and reblogging art and writing that I find enjoyable. In the end that's just what I'm doing when I reblog stuff. Enjoying it. If it's something I don't enjoy/like to see, I just block the tag or, if it's a specific blog that I decided that I didn't enjoy and don't want to see I block that blog as well. Otherwise just vibing. I don't hate anyone that doesn't like someone else of course, but the way people talk about that one person, it's like they think it's the worst possible thing for someone to enjoy that person's art and writing. I just can't hate someone based on that person's beliefs, it just goes against my own personal beliefs, and I can't help that I still enjoy those things.

I try to keep the drama and stuff off my blog cause I'm not about that. And it shouldn't be treated like some kind of crime to still enjoy someone's art/writing/etc just because other people don't like that person, in my opinion.

#vent post #i only feel this way cause someone on anon asked why i still follow a certain person cause i reblogged that person's post updating their fic #and i think it's weird that if people don't like that person. then just don't like that person #i just enjoy the art and writing #i only see hate going to that person yet that person has never spread hate for anyone to anyone #i just want to reblog stuff without it becoming this big thing of drama #discourse tw #stop spreading hate and just move on #at this point it just seems like toxic behavior (not attacking anyone. just how it feels to me) #like i said you can freely dislike someone #its just that it seems controlling when you want others to think like you do and dislike who you dislike and congorm to your own beliefs #I'm just here to enjoy art and writing #regardless of who it's from #unless that person has legitimately hurt people #just block certain tags and the person you dislike and move on #i don't think anyone is bad for liking or disliking people for their own reasons and personal beliefs #i also just cant hate someone for their own beliefs. especially since they're not hurting anyone with those beliefs #sorry for the down mood #this whole thing is just tiring for me and i just want to enjoy the things i like without being all “man people are going to dislike me - #just because i still like the art/writing of someone that everyone around me dislikes. i just want to enjoy stuff why must it be such #a controversial thing to just like something “ #can't we all just agree to disagree instead of being mean to someone who likes something /someone you don't? #liking and reblogging stuff that doesn't have any harmful stuff in it can't hurt anyone #i wish this stuff didn't make me feel as stressed as i did #I'll be fine #i just want to enjoy the art and stories that i came to love by the people who made them #regardless of their beliefs #cause i think that just because someone believes something doesn't make them a bad person for believing that

[jvzebel-x]

the Damar Hamilin situation is horrific for a lot of reasons, obviously, but it still just... i am honestly at a loss for words at how the NFL is&has been handling it.

like, this wasn't a mistake or an accident, this was a function of the game&a clean play. there was no foul, as far as i could tell or have heard. an extremely healthy&well trained young man almost fucking died as a function of the game, &the NFL is not only trying to deny their callousness at the event in general:

they have got whole cardiologists on deck trying to explain what happened like it wasn't a CLEAN HIT THAT STOPPED HIS HEART ON NATIONAL TELEVISION:

[image text: From your perspective, what are the possible causes of Hamlin's cardiac arrest?

Dr. Baggish: There's a long list: there are genetic and congenital abnormalities which could be at play, I know there's been speculation about the blunt force from the tackle, but I would say that it's really premature to make any speculation. In fact, to jump to a conclusion would be a mistake. The diagnosis of commotio cordis, for example [which refers to a fatal disruption of the heart rhythm from a blow to the chest], is what we call a diagnosis of exclusion, meaning other things have been eliminated. We would never conclude that unless other factors have been ruled out. /text]

this shit is fucking evil.

#like i had to stop looking at articles about this last night bc some of them just fucking made me wild. #&like i just cant believe how comfortable this organization is about making it clear how disposable their players #are. i have so many feelings&thoughts about how this is supposed to be the dream for so many poor kids #esp poor kids of colour. how my brothers gave whole parts of their bodies as literal children to the cause of #sports scholarships&what potential that could give them. how not only is that already a pipe dream for the most part #but even the lucky ones end up. here. #arguing about their rights after a career worth of concussions&having literal brain damage played down #&thats without even getting into the very obvious racial aspect of things. #like i know i shouldnt be surprised at all after the last few years but. like is just. #like another article talks to a different cardiologist who calls this a 'rare condition' which only really impacts kids in sports. #&its like. okay so even when youre willing to acknowledge the reality of the situation you STILL need to act like this is a fReAk AcCiDeNt? #&your way to do that is by saying 'oh this usually only happens to KIDS who play these sports'?????? fucking WHAT???

[haemosexuality]

i just listened to the first episode of the podcast

1-aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

2-i cant believe little nightmares is a game where the overused "what if the main characters are actually in a coma and its all a bad dream!!!!!!!" theory might actually be true

#i can easily believe it actually since that has been a theory for. a While now #bc of the whole ''six feels like she doesnt belong here'' thing and some other stuff etc #but. i cant believe its like???? confirmed??? basically??? #but not explained bc clearly little nightmares is its own world #so maybe its like. when a traumatized kid sleeps in our world they get their consciousness thrown into the ln world? #maybe six and mono got stuck there somehow? like a coma or some other thing #AAAAAA #so many questions #i love this game i love this story i love this #little nightmares #little nightmares podcast #the sounds of nightmares #also i like noone. im imagining her in my head as the nameless ln oc i made up years ago

[simelune]

💭 hmmm venting in tags.

but im very curious what you guys think about the phrase/idea "you can't love someone else until you love yourself"???

#this guy i was in a vc with earlier tonight said he ended a “relationship” with someone bc it seemed like they didnt care abt themself #theres obviously a lot i dont know about the situation so i cant comment on it too much #but there was one thing he said that i have always hated #'you cant love someone else until you love yourself' #i ended up having a whole journal session abt this phrase lmao #it's strange bc i dont believe that idea at all #i have loved people with my whole being who have in turn made me love myself more/want to take care of myself #i also feel like it's like......... it furthers this idea that u are undeserving of love? #im not sure how to properly explain it LMAO #like. there are things about myself i dislike... but i see them in other people and i think oh #maybe i will like these things abt myself #and maybe the idea applies differently in terms of when wanting to enter a relationship w someone #but hes also studying to be a therapist so. idk #no further comments on that #ANYWAY!! #personal #if anyone reads all this im curious to know what you think abt the phrase

[beneaththegildedmoon]

Look, maybe if I had read it by itself and not interleaved with the other books im reading atm it would have fared better, but y'all had me convinced The Secret History was some modern classic and I will not forgive you for it

#i know babel was published long afterwards but i just keep reading sections and thinking “Babel did this so much better” #its giving Catcher in the Rye if the pov character was even more insufferable #its giving the Steven Moffat school of writing intelligent characters #and honestly worse than the piss-poor attempt at some kind of commentary is that its so fucking BORING #a solid 70% of the book is just richard & the gang talking inanely about classics with the air of people who have literally never read them #and the other 30% is stilted dialogue about how woefully difficult it is to cover up the murders they did #and i understand that their insufferability is part of the loosely-defined point but thats not made well enough to justify all this #your characters can be boring assholes or your plot can move at a snail's pace but for the love of all the gods dont do both #the only thing running through my head the whole time is how little investment i have in anything thats happening in this stupid book #how did *this* become the inciting incident for the dark academia aesthetic/subculture?? #how did this jumble of meandering run-on sentences masquerading as a novel become such a Tumblr darling that dozens of you recommended it?? #i feel cheated tbh #cant believe i wasted so much time on this but i genuinely believed it must get good at some point

[goose-nut]

what the fuck was that

#dislyte #if u just watched one of your favorite characters get fucked all the way up clap your hands #i shouldve just read somebody's summary on it but nooo i went thru and read the whole thing #cant believe i was resonating so hard w hildas story that it made me cry in Real time a few months ago #but now the story is just. monkey typewriter level gibberish #so sorry to my group chat that had to see my Novel Length Real Time ranting about this but mannn #right after i saved titanomachia on Spotify too bruh #Nobody's even talking about Liam anymore this is Crazy

[minimoefoe]

I'm sad troy is dead and I think it was an absolute FUMBLE by the writers like the spin-off potential with him coulda been crazy but I seem to not be as fuming about it as a lot of other ppl are idk lmao

before it happened I wasn't really expecting it but now that it has happened I'm like yeah that was always gonna happen wasn't it, it's not a shock, it even makes a mild amount of sense that madison would do that despite it also being a fumble

#twd txt #troy otto #ftwd spoilers #they shoulda done a lot of things differently #and given him like a nice little redemptiom arc #and then let him live #and then maybe used him in a spin-off bc HELLO #he woulda been so good in a spin-off #but madison killing him bc she just cant trust him also does make sense #even tho he has literally just saved her and helped her #like idk #it fucks me off #and i do think it woulda made sense for her to believe him #but i think it also makes sense for her to not believe #him #tho it does make me sad that they just left him there to bleed out #and also like #the way they just move on from it so 😭 #im glad tracy had her moment to find and bury him #its kinda just ? to me how the whole thing was about second chances #and like i said i kinda get why madison couldnt give him a that chance #but they just move on #as if that wasnt Villain behviour from her #and tracy is cool with her #and they all drive off into the sunset #which i love btw #but like second chances my ass bro #idk im defo annoyed and it coulda been done better but i also am just like.. OKAY i guess #i think as deaths go it was good like it makes me think of nick being killed right as things were gonna start looking up for him and that #hurts so good bc i love nicks death for the most part which i think is an unpopular opinion

[aph-japan]

{Hetalia} World Stars {+World Series} Kiku Honda {Japan} x "IDOL" Direct Link: {HERE} (Go to the link to view in high quality!!) {NOTE: This A.M.V. may display wrongly at times. If it does not display above with the embed, Please feel free to check the direct link, Which should work at most times!!} Anime Music Video / A.M.V By Me / @aph-japan {Do Not Repost or Reproduce My (+Video) Editing without my Permission} {Do Not Remove Caption} Featuring various dynamics of Kiku's starting in earlier history, also partially based on the stories implied more within the strips {such as "Black Ships Have Come" with Alfred, "Mr. {Holland}" with Netherlands, and "{Alliance} between two Lonely People" with Arthur} going into the modern era {Herakles}, but others {Feliciano + Ludwig, also Yao} - appear briefly in between too. (It's partially complete, but most of it is there.)

Short Summary:

"You, perfect and {a liar}, are 'like' a {genius idol}…"

"I don't know anything about 'falling in love' 'with someone'."

Original commentary and lyrics source under 'read more'!

Long Summary:

There are people who "wear their hearts on their sleeves", and those who "mask" their feelings.

"Aishiteru", in Japanese, is not something that can be said easily.

"There are lies that hurt people, and lies that can {save} people." - Kido Jō, Digimon Adventure 02 (Japanese version); Ep. 16 "You, perfect and {a liar}, are 'like' a {genius idol}..." "I don't know anything about 'falling in love' with someone." For lyric{s}, check the following!:

#historical hetalia #honda kiku #kiku honda #giripan #gerpan #netherpan #geritapan #alkiku #far east duo #kiku and yao #hetalia day #ameripan #asakiku #lukiku #cat pair #polyamorous kiku #hetalia day 2023 #paint it white spoilers #(Coincidentally {Oct. 24} is also my bday) #(Coincidentally its that time of year where I throw things for Kiku into My Void) #(because it is partly unfinished I might try to add a few others in the full version but I'm fighting against a P.C. with dying keys) #(I want to believe I made this semi watchable at least l m a o) #(There Are Implications re Kiku Being Made Here but Anyway!!!) #(The second verses are Not Wholly Positive for Kiku *or GerxItaxpan trio* as Whole) #(Which you may be able to pick up on with the scenes used) #(Might want to watch through to the end though!!) #(This half started as a crack edit attempt but I cant believe I actually partly made this aLMOST WORK) #(Kiku and Yao is mainly a platonic dynamic But Very Notable Still) #(Edit : Now re bloggable!) #(Though Giripan may look endgame it's in actuality up in the air how Kiku turns out here for Reasons the tags may convey)

[merrysithmas]

so i am reading The Book of Sith and it is really hitting me how STRONG Anakin was to overcome literally thousands of years of Sith consolidation of power and END it. he ended the Sith 🤯 all of the powerful Sith lords that came before him, all of the endless century-long brutal wars between the Sith and Jedi, the unrest in the galaxy -- the Force, through torment, put Anakin in a position to end it. And he did.

through the book we learn that the Sith have been placing sleeper agents in Jedi & Republic society for thousands of years - calling them forth to upend peace when least expected (such as Dooku, a high ranking person in Serenno culture). and i fully believe that's what the Force did in return, finally, with Anakin as Vader. Anakin in Vader was the Force's sleeper agent.

The Force had to create and torment someone so good that he would fall because of his weakness (LOVE) and yet be strong enough to withstand 20 years of guilt and torture on the Dark Side, so strong that he'd return to the Light and end the Sith from within, as one of them.

the Force created Anakin to fall. he was the Chosen One, the damned one, the demi god, the unlucky one, the hated one -- but the hero. it is why he found peace as a force ghost. a tragic hero.

Like!!! Vader, personally, after killing his Master, had the ability to instantly absorb ALL of Sidious' power - ten thousand years of malignant potent strength. Vader would be literally all-powerful...

and he rejected it 🥹😭😫

he outright rejected it for Luke, for Leia. he rejected it for love. he wasn't even tempted after Sidious died! he rejected the entire Sith lineage since Darth Bane, tore it to shreds and let it wither and die just so he could look at his son with "his own eyes". Luke (& Leia) - the whole reason he began the first assured steps to his fall in the first place. A desperation to save his children & padme.

he was so strong in the Light that he didn't claim the dark throne. but he not only didn't claim it - he destroyed it. for his children and everyone else in the galaxy. so that they might never know the pain and torture he endured on the Dark Side as Sidious' slave.

the book (which is, granted, "Legends") makes it clear under the Rule of Two that the apprentice never gets any Sith power. they are starved of it, servants of it, and slaves. the Sith Master keeps all of the dark power and the apprentice has nothing, is nothing. is treated as meat and Palpatine notes they are "easily replaceable when their usefulness runs out".

Anakin was the easiest target for him and he was manipulated since he was 9 years old. no mother to protect him. Sidious threw away Maul, Tryanus, and Vader of course was next.

but in the end he overcame all that: the Force's tragic destiny for him via the prophecy, Palpatine's evil manipulation of him as a small child, the lure of a hundred generations of Sith power, the evil he was conducted to commit under the duress of Palpatine to save his family (and the boundless guilt he felt for it), and the ultimate rank of a potential rule as Emperor Vader.

he rejected it all the second he got another chance - horrified at his fall the first time, bearing the burden of the prophecy (Anakin the Betrayer), taking responsibility for the acts he commited even though he was a demi god who was destined and thus never had any real free will.

he was a slave his entire life - born & died as one. he was only ever free in death.

and he was free in death because the moment he finally had a true choice of his own - after he fulfilled the Prophecy and ended the Sith - he chose to end the Sith, and let peace prevail.

at his truest form, finally given his own agency, he chose the Light.

anakin is a hero.

#anakin skywalker #sob #when ppl say he was -pure evil- im like ok are we seeing the same source material #being PURE EVIL and commiting evil are two diff things #he definitely commited evil acts as both anakin & vader #(and he had an ego and alter ego on top of it) #(like i think of the dark side as deluding such as a substance abuse - he isnt REALLY vader but vader is there in control regardless) #(and he is helpless to this alter ego as his prime ego is not strong enough) #but anyway #he commited evil but he wasnt evil at his soul - that is the whole point of hope in star wars and the whole point of luke skywalker #a person who believes in good #that anyone even someone who has made the worst mistakes (even if he was destined to!) can be saved with understanding and compassion #and it is only through compassion ultimately that we can make the world better - even if at times there us no choice but to act in defense #compassion must always prevail #and by 'saved' i mean can know himself as more than his mistakes and capable of what one wills despite the past #that there is always hope someone might come back from the dark #and to not damn this possibility with hate and scorn #even if we cant MAKE it happen it is possible #and in anakin's case he had a prophecy and his REAL moment of choice was when it was fulfilled #and he chose to do good #and he CHOSE IT BECAUSE LUKE WAS THERE TO BELIEVE HE COULD AND TO LOVE AND HELP HIM AND SHOW HIM IT WAS POSSIBLE #ugh my soul #it was possible for him to choose good

[dizzybevvie]

Listen I fully follow wkm lore but like how the FUCK did he come up with any of that

#Markiplier woke up one day and said What if i was a man tortured by himself and his sentient house. #What if you cant die in the house #What if the house lets you fast travel #What if the detective is only a cliche and nothing more; so when he is pressed on the details of the case hes been following for YEARS #hes devastated by the fact that he cant remember a thing? #What if the Damien looked like Darkiplier so that there was a sense of mistrust around him for the whole show #even as he is consistently the only one to help you? What if Damien was nice all along? What if Damien turned out to be Dark anyway? #What if The Actor deliberately made it so that Damien came across as the villain just as he wanted in “DAMIEN”? What if we fell for it? #What if Celine cared so much about her brother that she fucked you over in an attwmpt to help him? #What if she kept him in a winter pocket dimension while you reach out for the cane? #What if he didnt remember everything that happened in the house and is always tired? #What if hes constantly being told “get some sleep damien” and “its time to wake up damien” to show the duality of sharing a body? #What if at the end its all pointless because the ice breaks anyway? What if Damien “life is ours to choose” Mayor makes his first choice #to let his sister sleep while he pilots the body? #What if by the time you arrive back in the present the body Damien and Celine stole from you is looking in the mirror #and just like the ice broke in the pocket dimension; the mirror cracks and you are forever stuck behind the mirror/your device's screen? #What if the detective believes you were killed as he says in WWM? What if The colonel (now Wilford Motherloving Warfstache) #can fast travel; time travel; teleport; and fuck knows what else because he realised he was part of a story? #What if that was the reason the detective was a conglomerate of different noir detective cliches? #What if theres masks on everyone but the detective at the end and I said “what masks?” when asked abt it and you still dk what it means? #What if the gardener didnt have lightning strike after saying “murder” because he hasnt been in the house for years? #what if the house seeded things in the actors head after Celine left him saying about how nothing was his fault and it was all someone else? #What if the house did this for years untik the actor was well and truly manipulated by a force he didnt even know was there? #what if he wanted Damien to be the villain in his “story” which implies that when he figured out how to cheat death in the house- #he also figured out he was a part of a story just like Wilford and eventually Abe did? #What if no one had a happy ending what if everyone was tragic what if people were only what you wrote for them as characters? #And what if the house was my head? What if the house was a metaphor for my brain all along? #and also what if they were all gay? #wkm #who killed markiplier

[rpfisfine]

jpegmafia is a horrible piece of shit abusive person and im so tired of his fanbase ignoring it & not speaking abt it

#i literally cant believe this isnt more talked about are you kidding me. also hes such a coward ppl were literally begging him to address #this on twitter & he ignored every single one of them #finding out abt this was sooooo fucking disappointing like Ohhhhhhhhhh so your whole leftist feminist thing is literally just for clout. Ok #i hope the girls are okay and safe and looking after themselves and i hope he dies #mp #ignoring your partner as soon as they begin to feel suidical and also being pretty much responsible for getting them hospitalized bc of #unhealthy behaviors that being in a relationship with you made them develop is fucking insane #its especially sad given that for many ppl including me hes been like a gateway to experimental hip hop as a whole but alas #there are more musicians out there #you dont get a sense that hes a very stable human being from his music & personal history but this is like next level emotional manipulatio #n

[solcarow]

.

#cant fucking believe i recognized the eyebrow flip 0.2 seconds in what is WRONG with me #whole cake’s cursed me #what was that den den convo btw . what . another thing i thought the yaioi people made up you cant be serious rn #that poor snail . stuck in that stinkyass haramaki #fine ill give it #zs get a pass #wait pause what the hell my sister got a tiny helmet flashback 3ji what is wrong w HER #more importantly she got a tiny kylar figure to come with it #solar-talks #brook n robin mightve become my fav strawhat duo actually sorry usopp ily usopp

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

The summary of my Peacemaker and Comedian thoughts are I believe paul kupperberg when he said the comedian had no influence on his reboot of Peacemaker because turning charlton Peacemaker into a piece of shit who committed war crimes in Veitnam is a very obvious route that makes sense.

Also you can tell Kupperberg was a liberal and Moore was a anarchist because Peacemakers actions are explained like 50% by his personal trauma and mental state and THEN 50% by like Being A US Soldier while the Comedian does not have the "literally mentally ill" explanation and is like that almost entirely because he's a US soldier. Like Comedian is having a evil but "reasonable" (as in: acting like this for his own personal gain, not because he experiences delusions) reaction to his circumstances while Peacemaker is portrayed as like "he's a bad guy but alot of his actions are because he's 'insane'".

Like I know the intent is to make him more tragic but it is that very liberal like "well its not the systems fault ENTIRELY its also because of Peacemakers intrisnically broken brain !!!" and I think that difference between them is really interesting honestly

#I love melodrama so I love Peacemaker but you know. Im always talking about how his 80s backstory was rough. #Like I will always say it IS a thing that hes like that as a condemnation of us nationalism too theres a really clear comparison being made #to like the nazis and the US Peacemakers actions in vietnam are constantly referred to as him basically becoming his father #But yeah the fucking 'his nazi dad hallucination made him do it!' thing hangs over him. #Anyway. I think the comedians a good character but obviously i hate him and #cant stand him. Peacemaker is a different kind of character because #The Comedian exists to be a monster and to be dead and #Peacemaker had to be able to like exist in comics. #ALSO Peacemaker is like the polar opposite of the Comedian because his thing is he genuinely #believes hes doing the right thing or at least he WANTS to believe he is and the Comedians whole thing is #he knows hes evil and in the wrong but he benefits from it so he does it all anyway #Peacemaker is taking this dead seriously the comedian is the comedian but in the end theyre both tools that kill people for the government