#i can't tell if itll be in a good or a bad way

[bberry005]

ok so kit fell into the evil juice and airk drank the evil juice so which twin becomes evil first?

#willow disney+ #willow spoilers #willow 2022 #kit tanthalos #airk tanthalos #if we get evil kit i am going to lose my mind #i can't tell if itll be in a good or a bad way #likely both

[rafeandonlyrafe]

christmas stocking

words: 1.3k

warnings: established relationship, reader has really good relationship with parents, implied bad family situation for rafe, christmas celebrations

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @drudyslut @drewsbaby @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog

“hey momma.” you say with a smile as you answer the phone, clicking it to speaker so you continue to work. 

“hi baby girl!” your moms voice rings out through the speaker. “did you figure out what time you're leaving?”

“looks like tomorrow at 10 am, then we should be to yours by dinner.” you hum, glancing at the clock while continuing to pack up. “oh, change of plans by the way. rafe is coming with me.” 

“oh yay!” your mom squeals. she only met rafe once when she came to visit you in the outer banks at your new house, but it was so early on in your relationship that she didn't really get to know him well, and things are a lot more serious now. “i can't wait to have my babies home for christmas.”

“does that mean andrew will be able to make it?” you ask, inquiring about your brother.

“they'll be here, but leaving the day after christmas for his wife's family.” 

“okay, that sounds good. itll be nice to have the four of us back together, plus rafe and diana.” you hum. ever since your brother went away for college when he turned 18, and you left two short years after to move to the outer banks, it was hard to get the whole family together, even for the holidays. you spent the last two christmases in the outer banks, one spent alone in your new house, the other with the camerons.

you were shocked by how different their christmas was than what you were used to. it was cold and devoid of any traditions besides what was seemingly forced on the kids of the family. you ultimately had a good time with rafe, but you missed the familiarity and fun that you had with your family. 

rafe was originally going to stay in the outer banks, not wanting to intrude on your family, but you finally convinced him last night that everyone would be happy to have him.

“okay so tell me about what i can get for rafe.” your mom says, and you just know she's bent over the counter with a notepad and pen in hand, not wanting rafe to be left out of opening presents.

--

“ready to go rafey?” you ask, looking at the back of the car, trunk filled with your suitcases, while the back seat has already wrapped presents, both for your family and ones for rafe, as well as his for you.

“i am. last chance to say if you forgot something.”

“nope.” you shake your head, “ive gone over my checklist three different times.”

“alright, off to your parents then.” rafe says, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your lips before taking off down the road.

--

“can we stop? i gotta pee.” you say, looking at the sign for an upcoming rest stop.

“again?” rafe sighs, but there's a small smile gracing his features as he turns the indicator on, pulling off to the road stop.

you hop out of the car, but rafe follows right behind you, not letting you go in by yourself, always extra cautious when you're out in public, especially away from the outer banks. 

“gonna get us snacks.” rafe says, keeping his eye on you as you head into the bathroom, only turning to the vending machines when you disappear behind the tile wall. 

--

“hey baby.” rafe says softly, stroking over your thigh to wake you up. “we're almost there.”

you stretch with a yawn, rubbing at your tired eyes. you blink them open, realizing the roads are now familiar, about to pull off the highway at your home town exit.

“thanks for driving, rafey.” you say, leaning over the center console to give him a kiss on the cheek. you clean up the car a bit while he finishes the drive, gathering up the wrappers of the chips and snacks and shoving them into a bag to throw away later.

“im so excited.” you say as rafe turns down your road, and your parents house comes into view.

“i can’t wait to get to know them.” rafe says, pulling into the driveway. you can’t help the squeal you let out in excitement as you rush out as soon as the car is in park, briefly turning your head to make sure rafe is following you as you step onto the porch, not bothering to know before flinging open the door, knowing that your parents are no doubt waiting right inside for you.

“mom! dad!” you shout, jumping into their arms as they swallow you into a comforting hug. you press a kiss to both of their cheeks before turning to rafe.

“i brought these for you.” rafe sticks forward his hand, in it a bouquet of flowers, presenting them to your mother.

“oh, rafe, darling you shouldn’t have.” your mom coos, pulling rafe into a hug before rushing into the kitchen to place the flowers into a vase. rafe gives your dad a firm handshake before offering to help carry in your bags.

you smile and look out the door as they chat casually, happy that rafe seems to be fitting in instantly.

--

“its just so different.” rafe says softly, stroking his hand absentmindedly over your back as you’re curled up next to him on the couch.

“what do you mean?” you hum, pressing your lips against his shoulder, even though you can guess what he’s talking about.

“your family is just so… easy going. and you all get along so well.” rafe says, looking around the living room at your parents sharing a couch, and your brother and his wife sitting in matching armchairs, all chatting happily amongst themselves.

“im lucky to have such an amazing family.” you say, looking to rafe. “and that you’re a part of it.” “i dont want to intrude though, baby. so if you have any traditions you want to be just amongst your-” “shh.” you cut rafe off, a smile on your face. “we all want you here. my mom was so excited when i told her you were coming. you love me right?” you ask, which rafe of course nods. “and we are planning to be together forever right? so of course my family is going to want you around, to include you in our traditions.” “sorry, dears, i couldn't help but overhear.” your mom says with a slightly blush to her cheeks. “forgive me for eavesdropping, but i actually have a gift for you rafe.”

rafe begins to say that he doesn’t need any gifts, but your mom cuts him off with a quick stern look, one he’s seen in you many times.

your mom returns to the room with a small wrapped box in her hands.

“thank you.” rafe says sincerely, setting the box on his lap. you smile, already knowing what is inside, seeing it before when andrew first brought diana to christmas celebrations.

rafe opens the box carefully, attempting not to rip the paper and make a mess, aware of the eyes on him.

“a christmas stocking.” rafe says with a smile as he pulls it out. you wait for him to notice, and you can tell from his body language the second his eyes read over his own name, hand stitched by your mother, signifying rafes place in the family. he tenses for a second before melting completely, body slumping against yours.

you wrap your arms around rafe, knowing this is an emotional moment for him, his moment where he realizes how loved and accepted he is.

“we are so happy you’re a part of our family, rafe.” your mom says, accepting his hug when he stands to embrace her and thank her for the gift, looking to the mantelpiece with all of the family stockings hanging, where his will soon join.

your dad strikes up a conversation with andrew, and you know its to take some of the pressure and attention off rafe as he ducks his head into your neck, pressing soft kisses to the skin there.

“i told you you wouldn’t be intruding.” you whisper, running your fingers through his hair.

“yeah, yeah.” rafe says sarcastically. “you’re right.” you give him a look, before he concedes with a nod. “as always.”

#rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fic #rafe fic #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe fanfic #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron one shot #rafe fluff #rafe cameron fluff

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Staring the year off right (for you, I still got two hours!!) with angst!!

Do you think when Cellbit was killing those Fed workers, he was waiting for Bad to pull him back using the back of his shirt, just like how he used to? Because he's being stupid (he's always been smart, just with impulsive tendencies)? Or maybe because it's a fight he can't win (he's always had a love/hate relationship with those)? Or maybe because he wasn't even using the right technique like Bad taught him (it was a rush job)?

Do you think on some level Cellbit expected (wanted.) praise from Bad for the murders? After all, Bad is the first adult figure that he remembers. "Do you like it?" That's not Cellbit's voice, the voice of a workaholic investigator with a husband and family. No, that's the voice of the young teen who was just learning what blood tastes like and can't remember his own name.

-miscellaneousplusmore.

I AGREE I AGREE I AGREE AAAAUUGHHHH

so ok. i have so many thoughts on the war ok

Baby Bit was a cannibal in that war, a little hungry kitten that would kill, consume, flee, repeat. A child soldier with no memory, just a knife and teeth, and claws that rip and tore flesh and muscle. Under bad's care i cant help but imagine how bad would coach his technique;

"You have a knife - use it" "Why only use your teeth for eating? Go for the juggular! thats where the swift kill is!" "You see this spot here? Cut there, itll cause less mess"

He could help him drag his kills away to get more meat off them rather than bit just grabbing whatever he can with his teeth and leaving the rest of the body there to rot and bake in the sun.

And thats the thing wasnt it - with the federation workers?? They were tore up improperly, killed indiscriminately, swiftly, not savored. It's like he was 13 again, killing, ripping, and running away, leaving all that good meat to rot in the sun.

That was cellbit's first memory, an impulsive murder in the war - a knife and a body and blood on his mouth with nothing but an empty stomach and wild instincts, and that was probably what cellbit felt like again when he came too! Thats probably what bad saw again when he first saw the body! Bad already knew who it was, those teeth marks of his familiar juvenile had to have still been the same despite the added size that comes with age.

I think cellbit wanted bad to praise him, but theres no way in hell he woulda expected it. When youre 13 and its your first time in the goddamn trenches, a veteran doesnt expect you to do well or clean. But now hes 25, he doesnt have that same excuse, but he does have the naive mind of someone who has nobody and nothing else, all he could ever want in that moment (aside from his husband and son) was for someone familiar to comfort him and tell him he did good.

Unfortunately for him, bad already was familiar with cellbit, already knew he knew better, already expected good work of him. Not only had his technique reverted, but his morals were much different than bad had taught him. Its a war that you're being forced to win, with no shelter or food or water - you have to fight to survive, fight to win, fight to eat. and he was just a kid, what else could bad have expected of him? He wasnt going to just let him starve!

The war wasnt over for cellbit, but unfortunately the war was over for everyone else. Cellbit wasnt a nameless child solider anymore, with no clothes on his back or food on the table, or family to care for him - Cellbit's a man, with a support system, a sister and a husband and a son and people who care about him, food ready and bed warm and clothes not sewn together with thin twigs.

I dont think he couldve stood there and expected bad to be proud of him for reckless, messy, wasteful murders, but god do i think he wanted it.

#qsmp #q!cellbit #q!bbh #q!badboyhalo #asks #hope u liked this ;) #hope you cry

[heckthis-heckallofthis]

CAWF Tumblr simulator

🦠 Neutro-2145 Follow

B Cell hasn't worked in a while, the bacteria tastes bland…

(56 Notes)

❤️ IM1235 Follow

The neutrophils are so cool when they're saving the body! I should get them a gift to show my gratitude!

❤️ IM1235

Ok I just saw them rip out the insides of an infected cell, I don't think I can sleep tonight.

#oh my god #do they do that all the time???

(45 notes)

🧸 Dendri217 Follow

I don't think sewing lactic acid bacteria nearly everyday is good for my mental health, but it sure is fun! I need to go outside more I think

#lactic acid bacteria #my beloved #maybe I have too many of them #but you can never have too many lactic acid bacteria

(11 notes)

🎆 RegT59 Follow

As much as I love Helper T as a friend I wish he'd stop buying random things with our budget. He didn't even solve the Rubik's cube he bought last time, now he's buying those metal wire puzzles.

🎆 RegT59

He offered to get me something and I bought a conch shell just because it looked interesting. His bad habits are rubbing off on me.

#sigh #i should just stick to solitaire #our office is getting so cluttered

(64 notes)

⚪ Neutro-3033 Follow

The amount of people that don't know not all neutrophils enjoy eating bacteria or infected cells is wild. Have you tried to eat some?? It's terrible. Some of us only eat it because it's part of the job.

#i swear #its so annoying #at least the RBCS bring us stuff other than bacteria #i really wouldn't mind something less sweet

(82 notes)

✖️ Cross-TCell reblogged

🐦‍⬛ King-Killer

How do I tell my subordinates that I don't actually hate them and that I'm just strict and they need to stop being so sloppy? Believe me guys I like having you around please invite me to something I'm begging you

🐦‍⬛ King-Killer

That was a moment of weakness ignore that (please invite me please please please ple

🐦‍⬛ King-Killer

WHICH ONE OF YOU REBLOGGED THIS?? NOW ALL MY SUBORDINATES ARE CONSTANTLY BRINGING ME WITH THEM FOR LUNCH????

#its okay squad leader #we honestly just thought you'd be too busy to bother with us #so glad you actually do like us #the boys love you too

(19 notes)

🍸 Microfold108 Follow

What even is the point of living? If not just for the sake of a higher being we don't even know? Are they good? Are they bad? Maybe they're the nicest person in the world, maybe they're a serial killer who has murdered countless of their kind. Do they know we work only for them? Do they know how many of us love them?

🍸 Microfold108

Nevermind Dendritic cell came over with a lot of friends and he said they all enjoyed me so maybe there is more to life than that.

#i need to find an actual interest #maybe then I'll stop being so negative about everything

(4 notes)

🟩 HelperT31 Follow

Apparently you can just buy a house??? On Sellular?? I'm going to prank Reg T with this. It's going to be so funny, imagine I pull out a whole house right in front of the office, she'd go insane.

#nobody reblog this I can't let reg t see this #itll ruin the surprise

(1,129 notes)

🗡️ NatKiller095 Follow

Non-immune cells are literally so scary, how do you socialize everyday without getting tired or stressed out??? What do you MEAN you think us murdering cells is scarier?? At least I don't have to go around the ENTIRE body just to hand over a box of gases to someone I barely know!

✨ Eosin-9024 Follow

I agree!! How else would you relieve stress if you can't straight up explode? I would rather die than have to deal with that everyday, I'm so glad parasitic infections are rarer than bacterial and viral infections.

#non immune cells #im sorry for exploding your houses all the time but you guys genuinely terrify me

(34 notes)

🪩 B265 Follow

I love working on the skin! So many beautiful women up here! Way better than working for that insane idiot boss in the alimentary tract

#talking about helper T cell #he sucks so bad #wont let me live my life for just 5 minutes #i do really miss reg t tho #she was way better than helper T

(8 notes)

🪄 Mast92 Follow

The reason why Cellor-sun was so adamant about saving her friends despite risking her life to do so was because if she didn't she risked the Natchlor absorbing her powers and in turn causing the destruction of the whole vessel. Yes she loves her friends but she needed to take the risk, it was a big part of the plot, how do people not see that the first time they watched??

Also I hate how they forcefully gave Cellor-sun a love interest. Soma was an interesting character as Cellor-sun's new companion but they didn't have to force the love interest trope on him. I feel like the trope was so one dimensional, like two different people wrote him. The Cellor-sun I know would never instantly fall in love with someone like that! Their arc was literally 20 minutes long!!! She has high standards and yet just happened to meet someone who has all those exact standards??? Where do you find a cell that happens to be into all your interests, mesh well with your friends, and don't mind that you are a magical girl constantly risking your life for the sake of the vessel?? Soma would've been fine if he was just a friend of Cellor, he could've been her love interest, just stretch it out realistically. He has interesting powers that interact well with the rest of the cast, I really just wish his arc with Cellor would've been written better. Whoever wrote that needs to post a public apology right now.

#cellor-sun against the univessel #cellor-sun #soma-san catu #i could've written it better for real #catu

(424 notes)

#actually tags from me now #it took me like an hour to make up fictional lore for mast cell's post #was slightly tempted to continue 1235's post with: WHO BOUGHT A WHOLE HOUSE FROM SELLULAR but it would've taken away #from the shock value of OH MY GOD THEY ARE TEARING THEIR INSIDES OUT I AM GOING TO THROW UP #sellular is a pun on sell and cellular btw #pls get it #also notice on squad leader's post the tags are from cross and not squad leader himself #because its a reblog #i put so much effort into this pls reblog #cells at work #hataraku saibou #hataraku saibō #cells at work friends #hataraku saibo friends #cells at work and friends #shitpost™

[bubble4u]

Hiiiii I'm back 👉👈 I wanna ask about the polyship on what type of parent they are??

Hello uhh hands anon??? We'll work on that lol

Idk if you want HC or short drabbles..... soooo por que no los dos!! (why not both). Also side note when I say their kids I'm meaning ALL the kids taijus,souths, mitsuyas combined.

Taiju: pure definition of a somewhat busy parent everytime you see him he's taking a call, he's answering a message or he looking over stuff. Now he's by no means neglectful so anytime there's a parent teacher conference he's going, every good grade he'll praise every bad grade he'll go over stuff so that way next time itll come easy, he wants to be a proactive parent cause his father sure as hell wasnt.

Just.... not the open houses cause by God if he's gotta meet another teacher who is either scared of him or trying to get something out of him hes staying home.

"Taiju shiba! You cannot make me go alone to the open house again!" you were trying to get your foot in your sneaker, frustrated at the blue haired male lack of somewhat decent clothing for the open house that was in the next hour. Taiju looked up from a packet he was reading seeing the piles of papers on his desk you knew it was gonna be a late night "you seemed to have forgotten the other two who share a bed with us love" "you know what i mean shiba every year you stay home and every year I get a call from the office cause of the tall man wandering off with our kids" he sighs rubbing his temple's "yeah and half the time it's cause tereno is trying to get the children to leave school early". You crossed your arms glaring dagger into his resting face, he sighed "please love I don't wanna go ok? Every year it's the same thing and last year I was close to pulling our kids out of the school" you bit your bottom lip remembering how one of the parents from the PTA mother kept pestering mitsuya for a "favor" in exchange they'd helped your child get into being their clubs president. You put your hands up in surrender "ok tai I hear ya but please don't forget to submit your ID into the front office so they know who you are" "so am I dad one or dad two?? Or am i bumped to three" he smirks watching you roll your eyes heading out of his home office.

South: he not like a regular dad he's a cool dad 🤣 he tries so hard to be a cool dad wanna be with the hip kids (his son cringes). Even though he wants to not only be his kids friend he knows there's a line, he will attend the meetings and the open houses but do not call him if say his kid was in a fight ESPECIALLY if it's one they didn't start and finished victorious he'll be too proud to not show it "that's my future heavy weight champion carrying on the name already" let's just say gave major side eye.

You turned the page, situating yourself again while trying your best to not annoying mitsuya as you laid your head in his lap. His cell phone started to buzz and not caring to look he answered "this is takashi" you turned your attention to the one sided conversation, mitsuya face turned from concerned to trying his best to keep in a laugh "yes ma'am that is their father". Book now forgotten yiu couldn't help but muffle in your laugh as well "yes ma'am I understand the form says I and Mr shiba are a parent as well" "yes well if you want we can go into detail on HOW we know the child tereno is picking up is his child" you covered your face you're not gonna survive if this keeps up "well I assure you ma'am my partners will be made more aware next time we fill out the forms granted we never had problem before" "Alright thank you". After he hung up he could see your shaking figure, you both looked at each other and just laughed "be prepared south may call to tell you about today they must've hired some new staff" you nodded.

Mitsuya: I don't wan a call him a helicopter parent.... but he's a helicopter/gentle parent he's gonna be there when he can and when he can't he's always reassures them that even though he's not there for the plays or sports games he knows that you did your best and that he's proud of them. He's another who LOATHES open houses on that particular day he's like a monk and will take a vow of silence and just ignore anyone who isn't important, he's dealt with his fair share of moms and dads either trying to get something out of him or wanting something from his partners. He is another who would wanna pick up the kids early just to go somewhere fun.

#tokyo revengers #taiju shiba #tokyo revengers taiju #south terano #taiju x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #mitsuya takashi #south headcannons #tr south #tokrev mitsuya #taiju headcanons

[anothercrisis]

For at some point in the ghost n soap reclaiming ghosts childhood, I used to dance on the bed as a kid after a nightmare, but I can assume military beds/cots ain't nearly strong enough for that, but maybe dancing around after a nightmare that has ghost anxious and needing to move around, ghost goes to the gym to work it out and finds Johnny there for probably a similar reason, he's got music playing and soap gets the idea to dance, not like slow dancing (though maybe it eases into that when they get a little tired) its the kind of dancing kids do, flailing their arms around, moving and shaking to how their little souls say goes to the music. Ghost maybe can't bring himself to, but Johnny definitely jumps around a little bit if a fast/rock song comes on. At some point johnnys dancing around and grabs hold of ghosts hands and kind of forces him to twist his body around till he finally gets into it, laughing at Johnny's antics and finally relaxing enough to start dancing with him too.

Another idea as well, though its not necessarily reclaiming childhood but with that fact that Simon probably didn't get to express his emotions as a kid he can get it out now, Simon has a bad day, like a really bad day, and Johnny knows it. Towards the end of the day Johnny gets Simon to follow him on a run and brings them out into the woods to get away, promising Si itll be worth it and getting them a decent distance away from base until Johnny is satisfied and he tells Simon to yell. To scream. To get it out. Johnny goes first of course, to introduce Si to the idea, and after maybe a little convincing Simon joins in and yells. Not too loud at first but he gets louder as he realizes its kind of helping, and he's screaming and screaming and maybe Johnny realizes or Si himself realizes he's no longer just screaming about his terrible day, he's screaming about his week, his month, his year, his family, his torture, his father, the childhood he never had, everything. He's finally getting it all out. And while itll still hurt, he's still a hurt and tortured man, it feels good to not bottle it all inside, not push it down until itll inevitably spill over. He knows he's going to need to do this again on occasion, knows its going to get to be too much again, but right here right now he's okay. He'll be okay. And he couldn't be more thankful to Johnny

I hope you like these! I thought they'd be cute. A little hurt/comfort for the soul -💚

These are so cute and wholesome! And so healing. I love that Johnny is finding ways to, not only help Simon relieve anxiety and pressure, but to help him do it on his own. Johnny is giving Si the ability, the methods, to take care of himself, so he doesn’t always have to need someone else. And I just…think that’s sweet and that it would be important to Simon to still have some kind of autonomy during his healing process.

Thank you for sharing!! <3

#simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghostsoap #call of duty #modern warfare #cod mwii #it’s the crisis talking #askbox

[smileymoth]

Im being mentally ill sorry chat

I need to kill myself at this point because I'm never going to get better in any way shape or form. I cant eat healthy because I get fucking weird about it. And I'd be okay with it because frankly I don't care if I make myself sick but at the same time I'm scared I'll die at 40 from heart failure because starvation kills your organs and your heart. But I'd not eat healthy in the first place so would it even matter. I hate that I can't say that I wish I was skinny because that means I'm scum of the earth bc i hate fat people even though I dont I just hate myself and everything to do with me because I'll never be enough for myself because I have crippling dysmorphia that makes me want to kill myself. I can'tlook at myself in the mirror i cant look at photos of myself because i hate my body so bad but i cant change it because i keep fucking eating i need to stop fucking eating i need to start counting calories again if i ever want to be skinny and get surgey god its such a long way to go to be skinny i wish i was underweight i wish i hhadnt gained 25kilos over the span of 3 years i need to kill myself because its all my fault its my fault i cant eat or work out properly or be healthy about it because im too depressed to cook for myself and im addicted to sugar and i have no energy or motivation to do things ever. What if its my fuckibg meds that raise my weight so much what if i went off them what if i stop taking them and eventually kill myself because being dead is bettef than being fat right thats what rhe doctors probably want you to beliebe. I look soooo normal on the outside im like smiling and laughing and i looknormal and happy to other people because i have nothing to prove to them for me beung sick beside them knowing i take meds and me joking about being suicidal. I dont have lost weight nor any scars to show them . God i wish i had the courage to cut my arm up so bad i had to get stitches but i cant because i lovr my mom and my mom loves me toi much and i dont want to worry her i already am terrifued of her seeing the small scars on my thighs . I cant even tell if cutting helps because it gives a nice adrenaline rush but then itd over and i feel guilty bc itll leavw scars that people can see i wish people didnt care aboyt scars i wish they healed and disappeared faster so i wouldnt havw to hide them but i also want them to see because i feel like its the only way i could prove to them that im ill and not just joking about it. I need to starve mtself and get skinny because theb maybe someobe will tell me im pretty because ill finally wear pretty clothes and i need to get rid of my tits and i need ro lose the weight for that abd im so scared i wont be able to . Its only 10 kilos it shouldnt be so scary to lose but i lost 5 in dec/january so before i even went to thw gym and now ibe lost nothing in 2 montjs and its so scary i hatw it i hate that im mentally il i hate that ik not ill enough for anyone to care . Im so pathetic it hurts really i need to kill myself but i cant because of my mom and it sucks . Im never going to get better and im never going to feel pretty enough or good enough in my life im always going to feel like a failure so why am i even trying anymore . I want to die but i dont i just want to be happy but i cant do that so i want to kill myself instead but i cant kill myself soim just stuck in this limbo of wishing i was a better person that im never going to be. I wish i had the self control to just not fucking eatif i cant make proper healthy food for myself i dont deserve it i dont deserve good thibgs i need to get beat up on the street by someone i dont deserve good rhings because i havent earned them im always gking to be a little freak thafs not enough for herself or the world because shes a depressed fat probably autistic freak whose only wish is to be happy and find love that i wont get becayse i cant talk to people. I also need to stop posting my mental breakdowns on tumnlr bc its not helping anyone but here we are. Im not a good person am i

#moth post #ed tw #sh tw

[unethicalgays]

trans guy turning a straight guy: it can't be that different but it is

he's already taken off his shirt and has his hands just under the brim of your tshirt when he suddenly freezes

"something wrong?"

"i i've never been with a guy before i didn't even know i ii i liked this until you-"

"hey it's fine i mean" you debate making the argument maybe he'll take it the wrong way... you'll stop if he wants to stop but you personally really don't want to, "i'm not that different than girls you've probably been with"

he shakes his head its kind of cute how flustered and panicked he looks.

"im telling you youre not like that at all and i don't know what i'm doing."

"alright you want me to show you?"

"and you won't just pretend to like things for my sake right?" oh he looks genuinely concerned, you feel bad about what he might've previously experienced but you'll take care of him.

"wont pretend. here i can show you that itll feel good on you first." you slip your hands on his chest and slide them a little further up than he did on you. he gasps and you smirk. "say stop whenever, but hopefully you'll like this." you move your arms up further and squeeze his tits, pecs, chest- whatever word is fine. he whines slightly. you wonder if anyone has done this to him. you get on with it and play with his nipples this he starts panting and and whenever you pinch them he moans.

"sstop-" he mutters. you stop and take your hands away

"whats the matter?"

"no you were good i- fuck! i forgot that ive got nips as much as anyone does chick or whatever." he moves his hands up more and you nod to give him permission. he meets some elastic on the way up, your binder which you'll be taking off if this goes the direction you're hoping for. his fingertips press on the fabric, then he pushes them under

he doesn't have to push down because its a squeeze but also once his hands are on you you're getting more and more sensitive the pressure along with his fingers trying to copy you turn you on

"you're doing so good." you say to him and he whined and shutter at the praise. "wanna help me get rid of these you gesture to your chest.

"yeah, pplease" he begs

#to be continued maybe #snake writes #orientation play #original post

[grox]

I need surgery to close the pouch in my throat but no I will not even though the reality of my situation sinks in more and more vile and genuinely disheartening to life every day the fact that this bullshit happens almost exclusively to old people and my 14 year old ass just up and developed it one day and it has only gotten worse from there, cant take pills effectively, constant gurgling sound, and the pouch grows over time, and the knowlege of it just disgusts me, I don't even want to tell you what happened to me just now to respark these feelings of hatred but it was fucking disgusting and I have to stop it. But I'm not letting fucking surgeons cut my throat open to get it. I just want to cry this is something to cry over I can't fucking go on like this and its literally not that bad but its just like. I have no other word for it than bodily dysphoria I want this fucking crop of a bird gone this isnt supposed to fucking happen to me and I can feel it I just emptied it I can feel it crease inside my neck I can feel it be empty its so fucking disgusting I'm so scared that over time itll tear itself down into my veins or heart or blood stream or lungs or shit and I'll die in the most embarassing fucking way and I'll go to hell cause god doesnt want me caise I died of grosslung. I might be melodramatic but I literally feel like a fat ugly monster because of this fucking thing its not good for me I dont even want it but once again if the fucking surgeons hurt my vocal chords even more than they already are I will just kill myself there is nothing beyond that if I lose the fucking disease but also my god damn voice or if something goes wrong or if its too big and they cant fix it. The money. Fuck my life just fuck it

[heliosoll]

how do you deal with fears or worries?? like for ex, in my dr script i wrote that everything will go the way that i want, and that even if i worry or doubt itll still work. is that truly enough? ik that whatever u assume to be true is true but idk i guess im just scared and worried that itll be some paradox thing where it doesnt work sfjkfsj

It sounds like you're dealing with anxiety! Whenever you got these fears or worries, take a deep breath, and ground yourself in the moment. You don't need to try to force these thoughts away. Do a deep breathing exercise and let your mind naturally quiet down. Tell yourself that it's okay to be scared. Your mind is trying to keep you safe! When you feel a bit calmer, remind yourself that you are in control. Give yourself more credit! You literally have the power to shift!! To completely change your reality!! Why worry about a silly little fear that you know deep down won't come true?

Anxiety is different for everyone but oftentimes, people will start to think of the worst-case scenario or the scenario that would upset them the most. It can actually be really helpful to think of what would happen if that fear came true. I know that may seem paradoxical, and I wouldn't necessarily recommend it if you deal with paranoia, but for some people, this can be a really good exercise in realizing that these fears likely won't happen and that even if they do, they won't be as bad as your anxiety is trying to make it seem.

For example, you say you're worried that things won't go the way you want. Well if that did happen, what would you do? Simply shift away! You could shift back to your CR (you can never get stuck) or you could try shifting to the right DR. Regardless, this won't happen. I promise! People script for a reason! And this kind of fear is exactly why so many people have a safety section in their script (things like my DR will always follow my script yadda yadda).

I can't exactly tell you how to get rid of anxiety (well you could always manifest/shift it away but... you are dealing with anxiety about shifting so), but pulling yourself away from those thoughts and reminding yourself that they are not more powerful than you can be really helpful. You got this!! A lot of people shift while having these fears! You'll be okay :)

#letters 🎀

[bitchfitch]

Marnie and John are on my mind right now, mostly just because I'm chewing on how funny their sorta tangential relationship to the mers is.

Like, They both meet this intern within a few minutes of each other and this intern is like Weirdly good at hearing the nuance in an alien language that's basically just whale song and and can translate it with an excessive degree of accuracy no one else has been able to. It's not even his first day, they haven't actually gotten to the research station yet.

One of the fuck off giant alien mermaids takes a liking to him and begins following the ship around. It's fun to tease him about the mermaid having a crush on him Right up until it exceedingly obvious the giant alien mermaid Does Actually have a crush on him and isnt going to play nice if he doesn't come hang out with him. and it's a Touchy situation because on one hand. They don't know the level of sapience these fish are working with. They suspect something that's at least near to human level? but they can't confirm that. On the other a small whale regularly ramming your vessel and threatening to sink smaller collection boats (which double as the lifeboats, they're Very important) is Bad. And it's unclear what is the Ethical thing to do in that situation because he is posing an immediate threat but he might also be a person so like. What Are You Going To Do besides just put the intern he's sweet on in harm's way to keep the big fucker entertained and helping out.

And then they get to the island the research station is on and everyone thinks the mermaid will get bored and leave eventually. but he doesn't. one of the beaches is just his beach now. He's Extremely aggressive and breaks shit if he doesn't get visits from the intern. and like. it's the closest look basically anyone has managed to get at one of these things and he's tolerant enough of the intern to let him take cheek swabs and draw blood and take vitals and such. So like. Again pros and cons. Furthering the understanding of this actual alien? good. Potentially letting an alien eat the intern? bad.

The mermaid goes so far as to start teaching the intern bits and pieces of its language bc the whale song sounding stuff is more akin to yodeling in its purpose than an actual spoken tongue. it's for shouting and being heard from far away. So Again. This is something that Probably on par with a human but itll do tricks for frozen grapes and will with no hesitation act like a beast because he Genuinely has no interest in being friendly to anyone Besides the intern. And they still haven't figured out what about the fucking intern is so enthralling to him

Anyways. The season ends and the researchers are leaving to go back to earth to wait out the hurricanes that ravage that hemisphere throughout it's equivalent of spring and summer. and it's heartbreaking watching this massive asshole who's been a thorn in their sides since they got here mope along beside the ship on the way back to the portal.

They all go home and there's still so many damned questions. The intern is now full time translating recordings and explaining the language but there's so many elements that most people Physically can't hear. They're too high pitched. and adjusting the pitch to make them audible screws up the Rest of the recording because of how it flattens everything out and makes it impossible to tell certain elements apart. and the Details Matter. So this intern is Still the only person capable of hearing everything and being able to make heads or tails of it even After they figured out that sub 25yos can usually hear the higher tones bc of how the ear works it's just impossible to parse them if you aren't already Used to parsing them.

Anyways. Fall rolls around and everyone is back out on the boat to return to the alien water world. That winter goes about the same as the last but the intern is Acting weird and cagey now. He and the mermaid keep disappearing for hours at a time and then for whole days. It's not like. Hard to guess what they're getting up to. The intern is getting to see things no other human has and is probably meeting way more mers and learning a lot more about the culture than he's letting on. and tensionsbare starting to run a little high. he's withdrawing a lot more and the translations are getting inconsistent. He's intentionally omitting things and mistranslating entire recordings. He stops trying to get the mermaid to be friendly.

spring is here and the storms are brewing. it's time to go home again. The intern is acting business as usual, for the most part. he's cold and quiet and shaking a lot. Everyone just assumes he's going to miss whatever he's found here. The mermaid follows the ship to the portal again he's agitated and staying back.

The portals take a Massive amount of energy. their batteries are the size of small buildings and require entire nuclear generators to be entirely devoted to them. Once a portal is open it can only remain open for a few minutes and it will not be openable again for months. That's just the reality of the situation.

The portal is opened. They cross through. The intern isnt aboard when they dock. Security cam footage caught the moment he jumped over board but there wasn't a clear enough view of the water to know if he sank swam or got caught.

The waterworld is not suitable for humans. there's not a single drop of fresh water anywhere on the planet. They might never know what happened to him.

Spring turns to summer the summer to fall. It's time to board again.

The mermaid doesn't follow them. there's not even a sighting of him. The intern was liked. He was sweet natured and always eager to help. Curious and charming in an awkward way and the sort of person who older researchers looked at and just knew he had a future brighter than most would ever dream to have.

Everyone was hoping he'd be at the station. That the mermaid would be on his beach. He wasnt.

The door's lock was bashed open. security cam footage showed the intern visiting the station a few times in the spring. Stealing this or that and on a pair of occasions doing something with the computers but destroying the logging files before he shut them off again to prevent anyone from being able to know what exactly it was he did. Everything was backed up many times over so they know he didn't add or destroy anything. Just looked.

He was never seen on any of the ocean cameras but the mermaid was. usually traveling with another of his kind who had only started to be spotted last winter. but never was he seen with the intern

They comb through all the security footage. It's been months since there was last any sign of him. They assume the mermaid finally got bored. Someone jokes that they don't know if they hope he ate the intern nice and quick or if he died from exposure or drowning without knowing that kind of betrayal. no one laughed.

Research continues. everyone is a lot more wary of the mermaids and the mermaids seem more aware of the cameras and microphones. avoiding them and quieting anytime they were near enough to one they might be heard.

It's the day before the portal is going to be opened again.

The mermaid beaches himself, alongside another. More are circling out in the water. It's largest number of mermaids in one place anyone had seen before. There's a lot of uncertainty and fear. Until someone spots him. The intern is on the beach. his hair is a tangled mess and his wet suit has seen many better days. but he's there. full faced, rosy cheeked, a few shades darker from spending so much time in the sun. He looks worried, but fine. Healthy and alive.

He waits with the mermaids until Marnie is sick and tired of the higher ups bickering about what to do. She stomps out to demand to know what's going on, John following close behind because fuck man, that's his Friend he thought was Dead.

The intern hugs them both. he smells exactly like you'd expect a man whos spent a year in the ocean would.

He tells them everything he kept hidden. The mermaids are people. They don't want their home invaded, they don't want their waters made into a laboratory or filled with pollution and rot. They're far more advanced than they had been letting on. They will fight if they must, but they don't want to. Peace is an option.

The humans needed a pair of portals powered by top of the nuclear reactors. The mermaids didn't. they weren't going to be sharing that secret yet.

They did share one though. The mystery mermaid, not the one who'd been spotted over the last year, a different one who'd been seen many times for at least a decade. He introduces himself. in full English sentences, mangled as they were by an inhuman tongue. As does the big one who'd started this all. He could understand English just fine too. He just didn't like talking. Especially not to people he wasn't particularly fond of. Especially not when it was much funnier to play dumb.

The new mermaid gets a chuckle out of that and moves on to the actual important topic at hand. the mermaids have chosen the intern as their ambassador. They want peace. They want more than that. Their home is vast, they can share some if humans share with them as well.

The intern says he's already spoken with some people on the other side of the portal, but needed help proving that really was him. So he gives them each a word to carry home for him. Promises to see them again. and then says good bye. He leaves with the mermaids, carried away by the big fucker who was never very nice but now they all knew had been just fucking with them that entire time.

It's a bittersweet but hopeful goodbye

The absolute last thing the two of them ever expected to see when they got back to earth that next day was the intern and a tall, broad shouldered, mute stranger with a familiar glint in his eye.

John asks him if he'll still do tricks for grapes and gets shoved into the water for it.

[cannibal-nightmares]

just an incoherent thought dump. this is for me and no one elss

first of all

just found out that thank god i don't work tomorrow.

secondly they sent me home early. it's so humbling and confusing. it's strange you always think youll know when it happens and then it does and you don't. you might have a faint idea but I never know how to stop it. people always ask me "what's the tell? how do I know?" and I always tell them *you will know.* you will know before I do, most often. the way I set myself up for failure though is always say "I'll tell you if I need something" but it's so endlessly hard to actualize how this shit robs you of your words when you're not in the thick of it. I've realized that a surefire tell is when people speak to me and I can't decipher a word they're saying; i have to think hard and they have to repeat themselves and it all still sounds like a jumbled up mess, lime a different language. and what's worse is the words out of my own mouth don't sound luke they're in my voice, like someone is doing the relay for me. I can't think too hard about it in the moment because otherwise it just gets scary

lastly

im realizing that I have to remember what I said about this being cyclical. I have to. we depend on that fact. it just *is.* it forever *will be.* im not scared or sad about actualizing this, im just tired, momentarily defeated. I'm realizing that my time between October through december-january-ishh was the wave of good. and im grateful. it's weird meeting new people when you're in a good wave. it's less alien meeting people in a bad one, in ways. that's a whole other tangent. bad waves can,make you seem skittish and untrusting (well, true), but at least that's the expectation thereafter. maybe this logic is backwards. i am so used to looking after myself--and I'm not saying this for pity, I'm stating it as fact--that it's strange bonding w people during a good wave and having them see you shift. it's confusing for them, and rightfully so--what im trying to say is it's hard to articulate that *it's okay.* then, what's selfishly(?) maddening, then, is having to console others while, well, *everything else* is happening. I know all the tricks, is what im saying. I've been here before, you just have to take my word. I'm not saying I don't need help sometimes, but that itll be okay. it will be fine again. if I have to promise that to myself, I have to promise that to you.

anyways

it's time,to try and have dinner. perspective for you.

#not a vent post just needing to articulate ish out loud #cannibal-nightmares rambles #actually schizospec #actually schizophrenic #actually psychotic

[lowlyroach]

1092) another cigarette, please

hang out with the rest of our friends

yeah,

the ferris wheel is still there.

we find ways to spend our time

eating too much

my stomach is wrathfully full

i tell Grant im tired of eating

we go to the Garden of the Gods

but You're not here.

You're not here.

we go to an artsy place

walk around for a few hours

we didn't finish the mystery game

everyone was hungry

except me

but why is that stranger wearing Your face?

neck starts its tics

brain itches

Grant is feeling similarly

ive got bad brain. he says

me too.

why was that stranger wearing Your face?

when we get back to the hotel

he wants to go outside

i know why.

can i join you?

sure.

so we

smoke cigarettes

that's what You told me to do, right?

that one time?

would You hate me for thinking of that?

i forgot your wording, but i remembered just now while typing

i told Grant about it

let's die a little faster.

we talk about You

and You

and You

and the ferris wheel

and how i was

sexually abused by my brother

ive never said that out loud before

its mostly glossed over

not for lack of caring

i havent posted that poem yet

and he talks about

his ex (pseudo ex?)

his You, in a way.

that lives up here

do you think it ever stops?

no. he replies

the look in his eyes

he knows.

yeah, i know.

-

cigarettes, a pause

more cigarettes

i suck them down like candy

throat burns

lungs burn

more cigarettes, please

will i finally get cancer

like i wished for at 18?

i flatten the earth as i smoke

is it to distract myself from You,

as we talk about You?

we're both shivering but we

keep standing in the snow

until it hurts

feet are numb

more cigarettes, please

im shivering madly

another cigarette, please

i still haven't seen Her face

i guess i could show you

(how do you forget that)

only if it won't make it hurt.

nah, i check everyday, just to see if it says 'Married'

yeah, She's pretty.

look at Her! She's everything. i'd kill for Her, i'd do anything

look at Her! look at Her! wow.

-

something about freezing makes you think less

your mind can't focus on anything else

his new boyfriend is a serious downgrade

he's got a new boyfriend? that's good, i hope he's happy

he's so fucked up for what he did to you.

i just hope he's happy.

(never find peace. never? why did you say that to me?)

we went on a double date, at the fair

ah, the F word

cmon man...

now we're here and there's the wheel right there, staring at me.

i can't get away from it.

-

you gonna bang Kat?

no. im not interested in women anymore.

i thought you werent interested in men, anymore?

i dont think im interested in anybody

you're both gonna be super drunk, did you take that into account?

yeah. i dont think itll change much.

-

it feels good to freeze and the only thing

you can warm your hands with, is a cigarette

it feels like being homeless, that feels right

i give it a try and yeah,

he's right.

i leave half of the conversation in my head

ive never been one for speaking my mind

half of the meanings, the clarifications, the answers, the questions

left behind

i tell him. (You'd hate me for it)

things ive never mentioned to anyone

he tells me

things he's never mentioned to anyone

that damn wheel is still there

i want to get a ferris wheel tattoo

you-. Yeah, i don't blame you.

and why were You on that strangers face?

why was that stranger wearing Your face?

why did i keep seeing Her around this place?

we go inside and i watched

Princess Mononoke

with Grant

originally i canceled my plans with him

to watch it with You.

but where were You?

where were You?

where were

You?

where were

You?

SHE'S NOT GOING TO CALL

SHE'S STILL NOT GOING TO CALL

SHE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ROACH

KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND

STAY. OUT. OF. THE. WAY.

i want to bury my hands in the snow till they cant move

what does that feel like?

is that a sensation worth experiencing?

can i put cigarettes out on my own skin?

another cigarette, please

ash it down till it burns my mouth

i'm getting ready to scream.

i smell like ten cigarettes.

#1227 #poem #poetry #twcpoetry #poeticstories

[bruce-wayne-simp]

Ok yall im about to watch Remainder (2015)

I love how when i started my Sandman obsession i was like 'ok but we arent gonna get obsessed with Tom Sturridge' and now here we are. Ive watched Pirate Radio like 3 times and now im watching this

Disclaimer: idk what exactly this movie is about. Ive read a synopsis before but that was a while ago and i forgot what it was so 🤷‍♀️

The rest is under a read more, so, incoherent rambling ahead (hopefully). If not ill just be yelling abt how pretty he is i guess

Spoilers ahead

Oh god its starting aaahhhh

Hes panting....

So he's walking around frantically (but not like. Panicked) with a suitcase

Ok he left his luggage and now something fell-

HOLY SHIT he just got bashed in the head by something falling

How is he not fucking dead that was BRUTAL

Oh ok so hes basically dead??

Oh no hes awake actually

3 minutes in and this is a rollercoaster already jesus

Ok so he's in the MRI end he's remembering something

Ok creepy old lady

HE'S SPEAKING AAAAHHHH

Oooh he's scraggly here. Long hair and a beard

Ouch i feel bad for him :( he got tea and then fell while carrying it back to the bed

Did he rip the phone cord out of the wall on purpose

Ok tbh this is getting kinda tedious

Ooooh wait now its getting interesting

Ok so hes in the phone booth bcs he accidentally(?) pulled his phone cord out of the wall and this guy is impatient and wants to use the phone but gives up and goes away.

Then these two guys pull up in a car and are trying to get him out of the phone booth. The guy from before pulls out his phone and starts recording and one of the two guys reveals he has a gun. The guy recording manages to spook the two guys off.

Tom (T. Sturridge's character) gets out of the booth with the help of the recording guy, looks at him intensely and calls him Christopher. Chris gets kinda freaked out bcs that's his name and Tom somehow knows it.

INTRIGUING. Which is great bcs i was about to skip forward

Oh shit now there's some lady in his house

He knows her??? Ok

Also he did rip the phone out of the wall on purpose

Oh thank god hes getting a haircut

Oh also btw hes getting a settlement for the accident which is 8.5 million pounds but after taxes and stuff itll be like in the hundred thousands. The catch is that he can't talk about it. Which to him is all well and good bcs he doesn't remember anything about it.

Its kinda implied by this point that there's more to this than just an accident

Aww he's talking to the lady (idk her name and at this point we don't know his either) and he says he remembers her. He specifically remembers seeing her right before the accident (which we saw earlier), he remembers her smell and remembers kissing her or someone who looks like her

They're in the lawyers office and GOD is he pretty here

I noticed the way he moves his hands kinda oddly in The Sandman and i wondered if that was a character choice but i think he just Does That?? Idk we'll see

Im so confused. What??

I'm even more confused

How dare he look pretty with blood on his face looking pathetic in the subway

Oh shit thats a little complicated

So he went to this guys house where hes having a halloween party. The dudes name is Greg(??) and knows our guy. We find out the lady's name is Catherine and she is Gregs wife. Our guy is kinda agitated and trying to leave (for some reason) and Greg keeps pulling him back. Greg drops that she is/was his wife and that shes a liar and our guy pushes past him, goes into the bathroom amd vomits in the sink.

"Blizz. I think youre bad at explaining. None of this makes sense!" Exactly. Im even more confused

I have faith this will all make sense soon. We are only 30 mins in.

Is this just a 'this movie' thing or a British thing?? Is everyone this impatient all the time?? First hes in the phone booth for literally 5 seconds before someone tells him to hurry up. Now hes in the bathroom for maybe like 1 minute before people are like 'hey hurry it tf up' like CHILL yall

Ok nows a good time to mention this. He keeps having visions/flashbacks of this little boy in a red and blue coat and a creepy old lady

Oh shit that was intersting. Ok so he had a vision of walking around his flat and he winds up in the stairwell and he sees the old lady. She says something and he cant make it out so he asks 'What?' and she looks kind of up and next to him and the little boy is right there. The boy holds a hand out, our guy closes his eyes and he opens them to find himself still in the bathroom.

Wild. Ok. Im a bit more intrigued than confused now

Ok he was in the bathroom for an hour apparently. Theyre justified in yelling at him. But he also suffered severe brain damage so 🤷‍♀️

✨️arts and crafts time✨️

Catherines back!

He's kinda wary of her after his convo with Greg but she shows pics of herself in Oxford (where she said she was going) then they start bantering a bit and he says theyve had this conversation before and asks if she remembers and she says no :(

They're kissing aahhh

Oh shit Greg called her

He threw her phone at the wall and told her to get the fuck out

Hes not having a good time. Tbh he never was

Ok so he made a cardboard house during his arts and crafts time. For what? I have no idea.

Ok he lifted up the top and now he just destroyed it. Forget about the house we hate the house

Ok actually don't forget about the house he's calling realtors to ask about the house he recreated

Use a laptop you loser ❤️

OOOOH OKAY

So remember the vision he had in the bathroom?? THATS THE HOUSE HES LOOKING FOR. THE HOUSE HE WAS IN IN THE VISION. IT WASNT HIS FLAT.

Ok i think i get it? Hes having these visions and he remembers things and hes trying to recreate the memories and figure out what the visions are

Ok also i like the realtor guy. Hes working with him to figure out what the place hes been seeing is. Down to the old lady and the little boy.

Also we find out more details. The old lady cooks liver all the time to the point where our guy can smell it upstairs and puts her trash out whenever our guy leaves his apartment. Theres a guy who composes music and our guy can hear it upstairs.

Like hes professional and obviously a biy weirded out but hes not just like. Dismissing him out of hand

Also id youve seen The Kissing Gifs, this guy is the guy he kisses later on

The realtor guys colleagues find the house within like. Minutes and our guy is THRILLED

"I want you full-time, all the time." "Im not cheap." KISS ALREADY, DAMN

Oh shit it's those two guys from the phone booth

Oh ok so he wants to literally recreate the visions. He bought the complex he was seeing and he described the lady and the other dude so the realtor guy can move them in i guess?? And hes having construction workers make it EXACTLY as he saw it.

This man has Issues. Thats it thats the movie(?)

Oh my god he's having it recreated down to the fucking CATS on the roof. Jesus christ.

This part is hilarious

Ok so they tied the cats down to the roof bcs they were falling off the roof (horrifying). Our guy sees this and is like 'wtf no' so they have this amazing convo

Naz: These are the last cats we have

Tom: ...so?

Naz: So if they fall we'll be cat-less

Tom: Then we'll get more cats- why are we even having this conversation?

Like it's awful but funny as shit

Realtor guys name is Naz (we just found out)

(The cat handler quit btw)

Jfc he's like. Inspecting the people who are moving in with Intense Eye Contact

Oh my god hes like. Ordering this guy to do nothing but compose music that has ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN day in and day out and start over again and again

Holy fuck this is so Wild. There are people in line who literally have their faces covered (bcs i guess he doesn't know what they look like????)

He just told this lady that there's a broom closet but he doesn't want her to ever use it. But she needs to think about it. WHAT THE FUCK

"You will notice there are some rooms that have been left blank. Like the masks some of you are wearing. You're not less important, you're just less specific."

Hey. Hey Tom. Do you take constructive criticism? How about you use that small fortune and go to ✨️therapy✨️

Greg's a bit of a douche

Wow this is creepy as shit

He's going into the house and everyones in place recreating the vision but its just so... produced.

Hes micromanaging the SHIT out of this

HE WANTED TO MAKE THE LITTLE BOY APPEAR AGAIN. HE TOLD NAZ THAT THE BOY APPEARS WHEN EVERYTHING'S RIGHT. I WAS WONDERING ABOUT THE LITTLE BOY

Also the old lady fell when she was doing her thing and it knocked him out of seeing the boy

Christopher (the guy from the phone booth) seems chill.

Also Toms proposition is weird but not like. Actively malicious. He told Chris that he wanted him to stay at the phone booth. The longer he stays the more he gets paid. Also that the phone will ring and he gets paid if he answers it

We have 50 minutes left in this fucking movie

Oooohhhh hes sleeping with some random lady to try and recreate a memory i think

OH he's trying to recreate the memory with Catherine but without Catherine

Nooo those guys got Christopher :(

Naz is a real one

Oh god hes recreating Christophers death. HES PLAYING THE ROLE OF CHRISTOPHER HIMSELF

He had the guys use an ACTUAL TASER on him

Naz was like 'youre not using an actual taser' and Tom was like 'then go home' and i guess Naz decided to stay lmaooo

He threw up afterwards bcs being tased is Not Fun and was like 'again' and Naz (who is very sweet) was like 'i don't understand why it's necessary to hurt yourself'

Once again, NAZ IS A REAL ONE

Theyre still doing it again tho

Nvm he walked out of the phone booth and immediately collapsed lmao

Oof the lady he has playing Catherine is Over It

'I won't hurt you' he says as he has his hand around her neck

Men will do literally anything other than go to therapy

He scared the living shit out of her and now she's just reciting her lines on autopilot to appease him

To his credit, he feels bad about it (bare minimum)

Nvm about that actually

Sir you just traumatized some random lady bcs YOU can't deal

Oh fuck

Ok so the two guys got him

Apparently he stole the suitcase he had in the beginning of the movie before the accident and they wanna know where it is

Which is a problem bcs Tom can't really remember anything

Oh shit they're torturing him abt it

Oh wow that house is super fucked up

Literally everyones waiting in place and Tom and Naz are just. Upstairs.

They've been frozen for OVER AN HOUR

Tom's just. Watching tv like he doesn't have a dozen people frozen in place downstairs.

Wealth really does fuck you up huh

Ok bcs of Reasons theyre reenacting a bank robbery. Don't ask me why. I know why but i just don't feel like explaining it

Is Naz a realtor? I don't think he is actually. I just assumed. Sorry Naz.

At least he has a lot of stuff to put on his resume now? He could make a killing in theatre. That's basically what he's doing now is stage managment

Omg in this scene he looked like Dream for a second there

See, he wants it to feel real, but he's producing it every step of the way

THEY KISSED

Holy shit

Ok so. Basically he wants to do an actual bank robbery.

The hyperrealistic set isn't enough. If im hearing him correctly he wants to do an actual, honest to god bank robbery with real guns and everything at the actual bank where it happened

Without the actors' knowledge

Guess who works at the bank? Catherine.

This is so fucked up

What the fuck

Holy shit Tom shot him

What a psychopath

Oh my GOD

He just shot all the actors

THE KID IS REAL

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

WHAT THE FUCK

IM SHAKING WHAT THE FUCK

BRO YOU JUST KILLED 4 PEOPLE

NO FUCKING WAY

ITS STARTING OVER AGAIN

Its over oh my god

Final thoughts: Just... im speechless. What the fuck. I dont even know what to think. What a trip. It starts off super slow but damn. I might rewatch just to figure out what the Fuck but thats not high on the priority list. I might watch Like Minds next??

#tom sturridge #remainder (2015) #holy shit #idk what to tag this as

[sickknotdoom]

Sparklecare fandom is so shit. People would literally go in your DMs and talk that you SHOULD stop following that one "problematic" person. And despite all horrific things happening in the hospital all "problematic" content makers are hunt down for sport by the fandom. It feels so sterile and bland, really.

I can't take Sparklecare as a serious product about social issues, it really a story about someone OCs and it's actually a cool thing! Not every media should tell you something really deep and important, for me it's just like a saturday cartoon which i love really much.

Kittycorn is cool, fandom is shit.

ok theres some issues with this, but for the most part i agree.

sparklecare was originally based on a traumatic hospital experience kneeby had, and also the american healthcare system generally being shitty. the comic used to be so good, but it had such an aggressive fall from grace once the clowns started honing in on ships. these may be oc's, but theyre still characters in a franchise, and people will treat them that way, even if its indie.

kneeby isnt all that cool, kit cannot take criticism, constructive or not, and neither can the rest of the clowns. i was literally banned from the official sparklecare discord and blocked by kit for pointing out a flaw in unis writing when i was thirteen, and other clowns tried to talk me into changing my opinion on it with the excuse of "were only four volumes in" and all that shit.

however i agree that the sparklecare fandom, especially on twitter, has such an issue with deeming seemingly anyone "problematic" for whatever reason and starting a huge hate train. im a victim of this. i was sexually coerced by a fifteen year old when i was twelve and said fifteen year old decided to make a google doc a year later painting me as the bad guy, and now everybody in the sparklecare fandom blindly thinks im a predator and refuses to be corrected. somebody even tried to lie about my age and call me a pedophile. and who knows when or if itll stop.

i know i may break my anonymity by providing that backstory, but i feel like it was necessary to bring up in this conversation. this has likely happened to countless other fans of the comic, and that thought scares me.

#sparklecriticism #sparklecare criticism #.txt

[stedebonnit]

Jfc NOBODY IS SAYING THAT STEDE'S TRAUMA EXCUSES HIS ACTIONS. Like. Why the FUCK is that always the first place you assholes go. You can't even acknowledge he HAS IT most of the time, but when you do the first thing you say about it is, "but that doesn't excuse anything!" No. One. Says. It. Does. But it would be nice to be able to fucking acknowledge it AT ALL without your asshole takes. We get it. You think Stede is the fucking worst and his trauma doesn't matter. Shut the fuck up.

Omg Stede anon is back!! Wow Im so honoured, welcome back!

I literally said in my tags that his trauma is what makes his actions so heartbreaking. Like I said, its nuanced. Someones actions can be hurtful to others and also incredibly understandable given the circumstances they're in. Which is why its so similar to his privilege, because Stede was raised in that privilege. The point is that hes a good man because he tries to learn and grow, as Im sure he'll do in this scenario as well.

Like I said, it fucking hurts to be told your self hatred hurts the people you care about. Most people who adopt self-hatred like Stedes do so for two reasons

1. To protect themselves from harm (via rejection, abuse, neglect, etc.)

2. To protect others from harm (because when you're told often enough that your existence is wrong, you start to internalize it and believe that your existence hurts others.)

That second one is so powerful, because yes, self-hate is selfish in the sense that you really have to believe that you're special or unique to believe that you, and only you, matter enough to be so deeply deserving of bad things. But the other piece is that most people who hate themselve that deeply also genuinely want to do whats best for others. Its why i see so many clients in therapy who tell me theyre afraid to be kinder to themselves because they think itll make them selfish.

Thats the stage that I see Stede at. He doesnt yet have the understanding, because of his history of trauma and chronic invalidation, to be able to contextualize how deeply selfish his self hate is. Moreover, he genuinely believes that hes doing whats best for others by acting the way he does.

This doesnt take away the hurt he caused. This doesnt negate the decisions hes made.

When I was deeply hurting, faced with a similar mindset, I made decisions that hurt people. I had a therapist tell me one session that I had hurt her by assuming the worst in her, something that I did because of how deeply I hated myself.

I resent my actions, still, to this day, and yet she showed me empathy and kindness and helped me forge a path forward so I wouldnt hurts others that way in the future.

Because of her pointing out the hurt I caused, i was able to learn and grow, and am a better, kinder person now because of it.

Thats what I mean when I say it doesnt negate the hurt he caused. Because often times seeing the hurt our self hatred causes is the ingredient thats needed to push us in the direction of healing, because we dont love ourselves enough to do it for us, but we love others enough to start that journey for them.

Anyways, its a topic Im deeply interested in, so even though you called me an asshole, Im grateful for you reaching out because it gave me the opportunity to put my thoughts into words, because as I said, I believe its an incredibly nuanced discussion, but as a Stede stan through and through it always makes me chuckle when I get these anons.

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #d speaks #ask #anonymous