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angelyuji · 2 months

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yandere superman headcanons

tw kidnapping, "nice" guys/incel behavior (kinda), isolation as punishment, manipulation, yandere stuff... the usual

yandere clark kent x gn!reader

diana prince is next guys I LOVE WOMEN!!! lemme know abt any tags i miss or just any other superman thoughts (yandere or not) cuz i love superman a lot

hes so big and buff and strong

hhnhsdngnnhnhnngnfhgnnngngn

sorry

ive been obsessed with superman and lois recently and i thought to myself “i need him so bad id do unspeakable things”

ALSOOOOOO have u guys seen the new superman??? ohmygodddd HELLOOO SAILOR

anyway here we go :)

sweetest kindest angel alive… at first glance

actual clark is genuinely the best sweetest guy in the world and i don’t think that would technically change but if anything he’d start buying into the incel/nice guy pills and that’s what would warp him

he’s literally sooo sweet to you (i cant get over how much a of cutie pie clark kent is)

ok pause lemme start from the beginning

when he first met you, he was e n a m o u r e d like he thinks youre the most beautiful person in the world type stuff

at first, the relationship is normal, you guys are friends, study buddies, coworkers, yk normal shit

he’s still super in love but hes kinda aware that its one-sided and he can’t make you like him

you guys are super close friends tho

but as his crush progresses, he starts to consult more than his friends and normal relationship advice, he starts to consult incel chatrooms and subreddits

he wants to go further than friendship with you, but all the guys in these chatrooms are telling him awful things abt u. for example:

‘hi! requesting help for getting out of the friendzone with my friend’ i’ve been friends with them for a long time, but i see them as more than a friend. ive had to watch as they date all these awful people and i just want them to see me more than a friend. any advice is appreciated!

– dude these ungrateful bitches are never gonna see u

– people like them never see the good guy until its too late

– u just gotta make them like u, nobody understands the nice guy until u make them

– all of these responses are so weird, just be normal and flirt a little!

ur stupid fuckign idiot nice guys don’t get a chance till u make them give u chance

women are so fucking stupid

reading all these “helpful” comments really warped his mindset

he went from innocent farm boy to incel misogynist becuz

they have to be right! like why else have u not given him the time of day as more than a friend

so soon, ur gonna notice these changes

he went from being supportive bestie to making snide comments, putting you down, making moves on you that you clearly don’t want

ur hurt, heartbroken, your friend became something unrecognizable

u’ll ask for some distance, just to think abt if u want to continue the friendship and clark will realize that he can’t make you like him from just this

so you’re gonna go home, take a nap, and next thing you know you’re getting snatched from bed by freaking superman

he genuinely believes he’s done the right thing

he’ll bring u to the fortress first. he has everything set up already, so u wont freeze or starve to death

i wont bore with the details but he would NEVER lay a hand on u

that’s NOT my superman

its more like

“i need you to eat something.” clark begs you, his eyes filled with worry. he had crouched down next to where you sat. clark had given you free-reign around his fortress, but you chose to sit in the corner near the entrance.

“fuck you.” you turn away from him, anger dripping from your voice. you haven’t eaten since he brought you to his ice castle, but you can’t remember how long ago that was. you missed home, your friends, your family. you missed freedom. you hear clark sigh.

“you’re gonna get sick if you keep going like this, (y/n).” his hand touches your face and you slap his hand away. you know there was no way you could hurt superman, but he holds his hand looking hurt, and you feel a twinge of guilt. he holds out a bag from Big Belly Burgers and places it next to you.

you scooch back, your back hitting the wall, not willing to back down. “i’ll eat if you let me go.” you feel like a child throwing a tantrum, but you would do anything to go home.

you see him rub his forehead in frustration, “this isn’t working.” he mutters to himself. you don’t say anything, wanting to see what he would do. instead of trying to fight you again, clark picks up the bag. “i’ll come back when you’re ready.” he says.

“come back? what are you talking ab-” in one blast of air, clark was gone and you were alone.

days had gone by, you felt like you were going crazy from the solitude and the hunger. thankfully, clark had left mountains of water bottles for you, so you tried to fill up with those. it wasn’t enough, you had started to miss your kidnapper’s company after many conversations with yourself. all you could do was sleep or stare at the wall, blankly. after a week, you couldn’t take the isolation. “clark?” you call out, weakly. not a moment passes before he appeared before you.

his eyes were filled with pity and worry, “are you ready, sweetheart?” his hands cup your face and you lean into the warmth, nodding.

he could never hurt you. that entire week away was killing him, but the commenters were right. you just needed to know that he was all you needed.

#like and reblog <3 #yandere #x reader #yandere x reader #gender neutral reader #kidnapping #yandere clark kent #yandere superman #yandere clark kent x reader #yandere superman x reader #yandere headcanons #clark kent x reader #superman x reader #incels #hashtag nice guys #isolation #starvation

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godstaff · 4 years

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Kent family watches the Incredibles movies

Clark: Well, guys: due to the pandemic, the JL has restricted the amount of operatives in the field, so Mommy and I will spend the day with our family. Do you know any of them? Where are they?

Aster: We’re here, Dad! We are your family!

Selene: He’s joking, you Goblin!

Aster: Shut up, “Big Larda”!

Diana: That’s enough! Both of you!

Clark: Mom is right: stop it now, or there won’t be ice-cream for anybody! I mean it. No more name calling, okay?

Selene: But, Daddy: aren’t we immune to this Covid stuff?

Diana: We are, Lena, but Dad and I have a duty to set an example to others. We are privileged, but we need to see the bigger picture.

Clark: Besides, we must not parade our immunity in front of much vulnerable people. It would seem like laughing in their faces. Even if we’re impervious, we can carry the virus with us and transmit it to the folks we come in contact with.

Diana: We can’t deliver the wrong message.

Selene: Okay. Why don’t we end the problem once and for all?

Diana: May be we can, but we have to give humanity the chance to try and solve their problems themselves. As Daddy says: “we can’t carry them straight to the top, we can only...”

Selene and Aster: “...help them up when they trip and fall.”

Clark: Exactly. And accompany them in their journey. In this cases, we intervene when things get way out of hand, or they will start to depend on us for anything and stop thinking for themselves.

Aster: Is it bad not thinking for ourselves?

Diana: Thinking for yourself is the best way to really learn. Let you to think for yourself is the best gift anybody can give you. Daddy and I can teach you a lot of things, but it is up to you and your analysis of those things to create your own personality and knowledge. Imagine your head is a library and Dad and me are filling it with books, all kinds of books: if you can’t think for yourself, there won’t be any organization. You are the librarian who organizes everything in your personal order, to connect those books with others of the same content. So far, you need guidance. The day will come when you get good at it, and won’t need any help. When people learn to think for themselves, it will come a time, perhaps, when they won’t need our help.

Clark: It doesn’t matter if you don’t completely understand all this right now: just remember what you can. In time you’ll find out the meaning.

Aster: I’ll try, Daddy. Lena: did you find out yet?

Selene: What I’ve found out so far is it takes a lifetime to do it. The important thing is keep on trying. It’s like having a baby brother: it sucks, but you get used to it. You may even enjoy it sometimes.

Clark: Enough with the learning moment. What you say we have a marathon of movies and junk food?

Diana shot a disapproving look in Clark’s direction.

Clark (with an apologetic tone): Just for today...?

Diana: Just for today.

Clark, Selene and Aster: Yaaay!

Clark: What do you want to watch?

A battle of propositions and rejections followed, from “that is too childish” to “ugh! That’s a girl’s movie!”. Until Clark said:

Clark: What if we start with “The Incredibles”? I’ve heard it’s funny and not entirely for kids. Besides, they could be us.

Selene: I’ve seen the first, I was your age back then, but not the sequel. It’s truly funny, and realistically shows the pain of having two baby brothers, emphasis on “baby”. Count me in.

Aster: I’ve seen both, but I don’t mind watching them again.

Diana: All set, then: “The Incredibles” 1 and 2 it is.

Clark: I’ll make the popcorn. Lena: a hand, please?

Selene: Sure, Dad.

Aster: Bring me a soda!

Selene: Of course, “my Liege”. Move it and get it yourself!

Aster: Mom!

Clark: C’mon, Len, we’re already here. Let get sodas for everyone.

Selene: Ugh! I swear I’m gonna kill him one of these days!

The movie started and Clark asked:

Clark: Do I look like that?

Diana: Don’t be so self aware: it’s a cartoon. Besides, you’re not blond, thank Hera!

Clark: I’ll double my workout routine, beginning tomorrow.

Selene and Aster: Shhhh!

Diana (whispering in Clark’s ear): Please tell me I don’t have that enormous ass.

Clark (also whispering): Of course not!

Selene and Aster: Shhhhhhhhhh! We still can hear you!

Diana and Clark: Sorry!

Selene (pressing pause): Doesn’t the villain remain you of Luthor? Minus the hair, that is.

Clark: Believe it or not, Lex had red hair too before losing it.

Aster: Dad: what do you think of capes?

Clark: I’m in favor, of course. It’s not that terrible, once you learn to deal with them. And they look majestic while flying. But you will have to decide for yourselves. Granddad Jor wore capes, and so did the fathers of aunts Karen and Kari, my uncles Zor from both Kryptons. It’s tradition.

Diana: And Grandmamá Lyta wears one for ceremonial purposes

Aster: And masks? What do you think of masks? They look cool.

Diana: Your Dad didn’t wear them because he wanted people to trust him. It would be a pity to cover that handsome face (smiling at Clark)

Clark (smiling back at her): When Mommy and I got together, the double personality made no sense anymore. We were not hiding our love to the World, and, if we did, Superman and Wonder Woman and Diana Prince and Clark Kent were two very similarly looking couples: tall, black hair, athletic build, etc.

Diana: People are not stupid: they would’ve connected the dots in no time, so we came clean. And it was a good thing to do: now we have time for our family, instead of wasting it in a job or trying to make another life as a civilian.

Clark: In fact, it’s very liberating not to hide half of the time, although I miss the office sometimes.

Diana: Look at uncles Bruce and Richard and the Robins: all, except Jason, have to work twice as much, and none of them have a real job.

Clark: Besides, just look at your sister: blue hair, 6′7″, a complete and total Kryptonian Amazon...and, before you say a word, you’ll be no different: as tall as her, if not taller, and the same build. You only lack the blue hair.

Aster: Why does she have...?

Selene: Are we done? Can we continue with the movie?

Aster: It was you who pressed “pause”.

Selene: Well: I’m done. Are you?

Aster: Yeah.

At the end of the first movie, everyone stood up and went to do their things.

Clark: Okay, people, the intermission is 15 minutes. Stretch your legs, if you have to.

Aster: It was very cool.

Selene: See? It’s not important how much we squabble, if we’re united when it matters.

Aster (coming back from the bathroom): Mom: Why does Lena have blue hair?

Diana: Dad and I are the first couple of our kind, therefore, you both are the first of your species. It was predictable you would have some genetic peculiarities. There was some magic involved in your conception, don’t forget Daddy is from another world. Don’t get me wrong: we made sure you two will not come out as strange beings, with two heads and all that.

Aster: It would have been cool to have two heads!

Diana: Mmmmno. We’d had love you all the same, though. Anyway, Lena was the first, and her hair is proof of that. You two are special, only in her case, she showed it immediately. Don’t sweat: you can still grow a second head.

Aster (enthusiastically): Really?

Diana (throwing herself over her son): Naaah!

Selene: Don’t talk about me behind my back! It’s not polite. I can hear you, you know?. Superhearing, remember?

Diana: I’ll have to teach you both sign language, so we can keep some secrets in our family.

Selene: You know sign language?

Diana: And Braille writing and reading. So does Dad. There’s also a language based on small taps on the other people’s hand, for those unfortunate who lost both, sight and hearing, called Tactile Signing. If we want to help, we must be able to communicate with everyone, back and fore.

Selene: I want to learn! I’m starting tomorrow!

Diana: How about you, Ast? Your sis is giving you the chance of starting early.

Aster: I would hate she talking to you and me not understanding it. I’m in.

Clark: Two minutes and the show will continue!

Once everybody was sitting, the second part began. Half way to the projection, it was Aster who pressed pause.

Aster: Mom, Dad: do you need to have a job?

Clark: We don’t really need it. Mommy and I can get anything we need, and so will you someday. We could have one, if we want it, but our work protecting humanity and raising you takes precedence.

Diana: Dad and I can find all kinds of minerals men consider precious and extract it with our bare hands.

Selene: If they want it, they can be richer that Luthor, Mr. Terrific and uncle Bruce combined.

Clark: But the pursue of riches is not a priority. Some time back, Mommy and I designed the basics for nuclear fusion based energy supply, which is sustaining our home, the rest of the Fortress and some parts of Themyscira. We gave the blueprints to Mr. Holt and uncle Bruce, so they could adapt it for human usage. Mr. Holt wanted to make it into a business, but uncle Bruce and I prevented it. It wasn’t an evil thing what Michael wanted to do, from a mundane perspective, but if the whole planet was going to benefit of the findings, we better let corporations and businesses out of the picture, We convinced him with only two words: “Fair Play”.

Diana: Lex hated us: he lost a ton of money and four of his energy corporations rolled the curtains down definitely. We made sure the employees left without a job, were absorbed by Wayne Enterprises and Holt Industries.

The movie continued. At some point, Selene interrupted it.

Selene. Mom, Dad: is it so easy to take over somebody’s mind, like in the movie?

Diana: Depends on whose mind. If the person is in need of something or lacking other things, like Elastigirl here, it’s easier to invade someone’s mind, the invaders has to take advantage of the weaknesses of that person. If Dad or any of you are in some peril, my state of mind will be compromised and I would constitute an easy target.

Selene: How can we prevent that kind of happenstances? Specially in our particular situation.

Clark: Being very careful, knowing all the time the others are safe. That’s why is so important to be always in communication with each other.

Diana: It’s not invasion of privacy, it’s just caution. We won’t stop you from living your life, we won’t use tracers or any kind of location devices: we are asking you to keep us informed. You’ll understand when you have children of your own.

Clark: There are individuals with immense power no mind can resist, like Maxwell Lord...

Selene: Who is that?

Diana: No longer a problem.

Clark: ...in those cases, we have to be patient and look for an opening. There’s always a mistake these people make: too confident and underestimating their opponent. There’s always, in the back of your mind, a vestige of consciousness. And Mommy’s Lasso of Truth will protect its bearer and it can reverse the process in others.

Selene: I see. But there’s always a risk.

Diana: Our occupation is always a risk. We must be prepared. Even if you don’t want to follow our steps, problems will reach you because of who you are, I’m sorry. It’s like being the offspring of someone very rich: there’s always a virtual target on your backs.

Clark: But life is beautiful and worth living, don’t let potential dangers take that away. People in other situations than ours are also in other kind of perils. Is a constant no living being can escape.

Diana: Animals in the wild are always at the mercy of predators.

Clark: Ours are just another kind of predators.

Selene: I think I get the idea, but I have to ruminate on it.

Clark: Sure, baby. Take your time.

Diana: We are here for any question.

Selene: Thank you. Let’s finish the movie, please. Hey, Astroboy! Wake up!

Aster: Uh? Are we done?

Selene: Welcome to the land of the living.

Aster: Can we finish the movie now?

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dangermousie · 6 years

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Reading list for the month - hooray for the Middle Ages!!

I’ve not really been watching much lately (except that I just discovered the Legend of Fuyao and it’s AHMAZING) but I have been reading a bunch, hence the reading list. I also have a v short attention span so while I am not reading all the books listed below that I recently got and/or put on my kindle, I am reading about five of them at once.

As you can tell, I am on the Middle Ages kick right now. Also, as you can tell, current historical crushes are apparently William the Conqueror and Edward the Black Prince and Richard III (always.) Hmmmm.

Valerie Anand, King of the Wood - how many novels are there about the time of William Rufus aka Fabulously Gay aka Killed By Arrow Mysteriously Probably By Orders of Baby Bro? This one revolves around William and Ralph de somebody, a minor nobleman who comes over to get lands and power. Ralph is young and hot and William fancies him and even though Ralph is not inclined that way, he is not going to turn down a roll or dozen in the hay with the king if it gets him closer to his goal. Apparently this all leads to mixed results, eventual death of William, ancient pagan rites, Ralph getting some land and a hot wife, and overall a very sympathetic portrayal of William Rufus. I have not started yet though.

Anna Belfrage, The Cold Light of Dawn - the fourth and possibly last in one of my favorite medieval series that follows the lives of a minor knight, Adam, and his arranged but then more, wife, Kit during the reigns of Edward II and III. This is such a lovely lovely series and this book so far is as good as the rest. Adam is a protege of Roger Mortimer (of the “de facto ruler of England, lover of Queen Isabella’ fame) and when the book 1 starts is slated to arrange marry a spoiled aristocrat who is missing so her family hastily substitutes a bastard daughter and lieeeees. The books follow them as they fall in love, reveal their secrets, try to survive in a pretty horrible time period etc etc. Adam eventually becomes close to Edward III which causes all sorts of internal conflicts. Book 1 is probably my fave (though second half of it is a giant trigger warning as Despenser takes Adam and, to lesser degree, Kit, under his notice) but all of them are good and the latest is wonderful as always. Frankly, by now, I love the lead couple so much, I could just read about them going about their business in their residence for 500 pages.

Anna Chant, Three Times the Lady - I can’t believe I found a novel about Judith, first Countess of Flanders! If you do not know who she is, Judith was a daughter of a Frank king who married her to a much older king of Wessex. When the old man died, she married his grown son (this was a few centuries before the Church would have fits about this) and when that man died, she returned back home. Daddy King did not want to lose such a valuable bargaining chip (who was still quite young) either to make her own marriage or to be taken by some lord via kidnap so he stuck her in a remote fortress while he decided which potential husband would make the best bargain. Ummm. Hunky Baldwin was guarding the place, he and Judith fell for each other and with the help of her brother ran off and got married. Daddy King lost his mind, took Baldwin’s lands, the lovers had to go to the Pope to beg for help blah blah eventually Daddy King cooled down, Baldwin became the first Court of Flanders and got nicknamed Iron Arm for how hard he fought to protect his father in law. So basically, this is a RL medieval romance, of the “hot dude in chainmail holding pretty lady on cover” variety. Seriously - I am very surprised this is the only novel of her I know. I realize records were not as good as they were later but this just gives more room for license. I am quite excited to read this since I’ve read a couple of other books by Chant set around that time and loved them.

Joanna Courtney, The Conqueror’s Queen - Matilda, Mrs the Conqueror. Hmmmmmm. I am about 1/3 in. The book’s odd insistence on Matilda liking but not loving William despite his being amazing in beddddd and generally a stud muffin of stud muffiness is a little odd (it’s just an odd combo) but it’s a fun light read. What I would really love is for someone like Sharon Kay Penman to write a giant doorstopper of a series about that reign.

Joanna Courtney, The Constant Queen - about Elizabeth, the Russian wife of Harald Hardrada. I am about 60% in. It’s not as good as it could be (it doesn’t make Harald interesting which, even reading a short summary of his life on wikipedia - the man had an insane life) but it’s about a subject that’s not novelized often or even that well-know (in fact, prior to this book, the one thing I knew about Harald was that he was defeated by Harold Godwinson who then had to take his exhausted troops and march to fight William the Conqueror. If not for that, England now might be ruled by Harold’s and not William’s descendants.) Also, Elizabeth herself is likeable and the author does a good job on selling me that the two loved each other even while not falling into the trap of making the relationships modern (Harald has a hand-fast wife because he needs sons; it’s not much of an issue etc.) It’s a pleasant beach/travel read.

Dorothy Dunnett, King Hereafter - my favorite stand-alone period novel of all time and I am gonna reread it and bawl. It’s about Earl Thorfinn of Orkney, who Dunnett supposes to be the basis for historical Macbeth. It is simply the best historical novel ever written and if Thorfinn/Groa don’t move you, you have no heart. It’s also a rare book where people feel like people of the period, not modern people playing dress up.

Parke Godwin, Sherwood/Robin and the King - I used to love this bleak, emotional, amazing duology which moves the story of Robin Hood around the time of the Norman Conquest. I just got my hands on it again.

Karen Harper, The First Princess of Wales - ok, this is pretty much a romance novel. About Edward the Black Prince and Joan of Kent. So bring it on!

Justin Hill, Viking Fire - a novel about Harald Hardrada whose life I am fascinated by now

Thomas W. Jensen, As a Black Prince on Bloody Fields - I am currently about a third into this and loving it. It deals with basically the first half of the life of Edward the Black Prince, who is one of my favorite historical what-ifs. Oldest son and heir of Edward III, the Black Prince was a hell of a medieval warrior, very involved in Crecy and in charge in Poitiers, two of the three biggest English victories in the 100 years war. In the latter, heavily outnumbered English captured the French king himself. Also, interestingly, he married for love in quite a scandal. Instead of marrying a foreign royal, he married an English noblewoman, older than him (she was 32 when they married!!!), a widow with five children AND a scandalous history (her first two husbands had a fight that went all the way to the Pope about which one of them was her actual husband. There were secret marriages and all that.) He married in secret, his father eventually came around etc. He would have probably made a King in the scary but effective mold of Edward I, but on one of his campaigns, he contracted one of many nasty medieval diseases - dystentery - which crippled and eventually killed him shortly before his father died, leaving his small son to become Richard II. If the Black Prince was better about drinking clean water, Edward III would have been succeeded not by a small child who, as an adult, wasn’t particularly cut out for the rough business of medieval Kingship, but by a competent and scary adult warrior. Thus no Henry IV revolt (do you really want to face the man who almost conquered France), no war of the Roses, no Tudors, no Church of England. Anyway, he was a fascinating man, in some ways an epitome of medieval warrior class ideals but probably because of that, there aren’t too many novels about him in the last whatever years. Like Henry V, his virtues are a bit too alien for the modern world. He is VERY medieval. But I find him fascinating beyond measure and deserving of more books about him, so this excellent excellent novel is such a pleasure.

Susan Fraser King, Queen Hereafter - about Margaret, wife of Malcolm (of the son of Duncan, killer of Macbeth fame.) I know little about it except the topic interests me.

G. Lawrence, The Heart of the Conqueror - Matilda, again. Matilda here is portrayed as rather an anti-heroine, vain, ambitious and picking William because he’s the scariest and most capable man she met. They are monsters in love (though, frankly, their attitudes are not such much monstrous as early medieval) and I do love them so. I find it quite odd that the author chose to start her novel with the apocryphal story of Matilda insulting William’s courtship and calling him a bastard and William riding in to beat her up in her own father’s town and her deciding this is what she digs in a dude. Lawrence makes the beatdown, already possibly fictional, quite brutal, so it makes me wonder if Matilda is insane to decide William is it because of it. Also, he never lays a finger on her again so wtf. Oh well, historically they did seem to have a rare successful marriage so there is that - I don’t mind him being a good husband since it’s historically accurate, it’s just the weird start to the relationship that makes me boggle.

Rosanne E. Lortz, I Serve: A Novel of the Black Prince - you can tell I am on the Black Prince kick, right? This is about a squire to him and looks quite interesting but I haven’t read it yet.

Isolde Martyn, The Knight and the Rose - sometimes you are just in the mood for an angsty but happy medieval romance.

Anne O’Brien, The Virgin Widow - Romancey take on Anne and Richard III? Yes PLS. If I like this, I might end up getting more of the author’s books as she appears to specialize in known but not super famous medieval women with strong romantic relationships, so YES. I did find it tragically amusing that in order to make the end happy (I peeked), she ends before all the bad stuff happens - their son dying, Anne dying, Richard being killed etc. But then I bawled with the Sunne in Spendour so....

Edith Pargeter, The Brothers of Gwynnedd - reread. It’s a great, epic, tragic, poetic tale of the end of the Welsh independence and surprisingly, in light of all the tragedy, somewhat of a comfort read.

Judith Merkle Riley, A Vision of Light - about a widow of a medieval merchant, this has been recommended to me by multiple people. We shall see.

Anya Seton, Katherine - I read that book so long ago, I barely remember anything. But it’s a classic and Katherine Swynford has always been interesting and I am a sucker for RL romance so reread!!!

Freda Warrington, The Court of the Midnight King - a fantasy AU of Richard III where he gets to live and be happy with his mistress Kate (modeled on mother of his illegitimate child in RL) Oh YES.

#books #middle ages

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squillynerdsout · 5 years

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Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (Review)

Spoiler alert I guess, but this cut has been out for a while and it’s not too hard to find.

This movie really left me conflicted. The first half is incredible, up to that point I was thinking this was one of the best superhero movies I had ever seen. The acting was great, the dialogue was witty and genuinely funny when it wanted to be, and the villains were threatening (the scene where Zod makes the president kneel to him really sticks out as a powerful moment). The second half, however, does not measure up.

Starting with the really good parts, a surprise to me was how great of a character Lois Lane was, she’s not just the damsel in distress like I expected from a superhero movie of the time. She was confident, capable, and even manages to outsmart Superman as she tries to prove that he and Clark Kent are the same person. Not to mention the amazing performance from Margot Kidder, who makes Lois such an instantly likable part of the film, and easily my favorite character. For all the shortcomings this movie has, she was consistently great in every scene she was in.

Now onto the plot. I’ll cover the first half quickly since I just really enjoyed it and have very few problems with it. The rest of the movie is gonna take a while, though.

The movie starts back on Krypton as General Zod, Non, and Ursa are unanimously convicted by Jor-El and several judge faces on TV screens that I guess were too good to show up in person. Fast forward to many years later, and a redirected missile frees the intergalactic prisoners and they land on the moon, where they kill some astronauts before making their way to Earth. Meanwhile, Lex Luthor breaks out of prison in the most comedic sequence in the movie, and one of my favorite parts. As the Kryptonians quickly rise to power, Lex tracks them down and offers information about Jor-El’s son in exchange for increasing amounts of land as he helps them more.

While all of that is unfolding, Lois Lane starts to suspect that her cowardly loser of a coworker is also the most powerful man on the planet. After testing her theory in another one of the movie’s funniest scenes, Lois and Clark are put on an assignment in Niagara Falls, posing as a newlywed couple while writing an article. Lois is a huge motivator for Superman throughout the movie, as he falls in love with her while trying to keep his secret identity and wanting her to feel the same way about Clark Kent as she does about Superman. Eventually, feelings are reciprocated, Lois tricks Clark into revealing his double identity to her, and then...

The second half happens.

Clark explains to Holo-Dad that he’s in love with Lois and feels that he deserves some happiness after saving the world from Lex Luthor in the first movie. Jor-El basically tells him he’s a selfish little bitch and that if he wants to be with a human so badly, he’ll have to give up all of his power and become one. He goes ahead and does it, and immediately gets the shit beaten out of him by the local hot dog restaurant bully. Right after that, he sees Zod on TV, saying he wants to kill Superman. He then reveals to Lois that he heard the Kryptonians’ reign of terror developing before he decided to give up his power, but he chose to ignore it so he could be with her.

I get the power of love and whatever, but there’s no way Superman would be aware that three supervillains with all of his powers have come to Earth and obviously plan to destroy it, and then decide to ignore it. He should know better than anyone that no military on the planet is capable of killing 3 Supermen, and the only person smart enough to stand a chance is on their side. Could he really not wait, like, 2 days to make his big commitment to Lois and retire?

Anyway, Superman pleads with Holo-Dad until he gets his powers back and eventually meets up with the villains, and there’s a big explosion-filled battle in Times Square because someone forgot to spread the product placement throughout the movie (the Coca-Cola plugs I didn’t mind too much, but the Marlboro ads just left a bad taste in my mouth, no pun intended. It’s a family-friendly movie about Superman and they’re promoting cigarettes? Really?).

I won’t go on too much about the special effects because it’s a 38 year old movie so of course it hasn’t aged perfectly. Some of the effects actually hold up pretty well, but there are some real stinkers in the Times Square scene especially; the green screening for the villains is particularly laughable. When Superman flies, it still looks believable enough that he’s flying, but Zod and the others just flail around like Pumaman and it looks really bad.

After the Times Square fight, the major characters all have a final confrontation at the Fortress of Solitude, and Superman uses a pretty clever plan to beat them, inverting the machine that took his powers away to instead remove the powers of the Kryptonians outside the chamber and shielding himself inside. It’s a cool idea but then the movie just completely falls apart for me. No, the way he beats them is not as dumb as throwing a big cellophane “S” like he does in the theatrical cut, but it’s still very anticlimactic.

Believing that Superman has once again stripped himself of his abilities, Zod commands him to kneel, take his hand, and swear an oath of surrender. In admittedly a pretty cool moment, Superman crushes his hand when he takes it and throws him into the conveniently placed bottomless pit. In attempt to avenge Zod, Non tries to fly at Superman and kill him, but hasn’t seemed to realize why Zod was so easily defeated. He lunges forward, but since he can’t fly, he just falls to his death in the same pit and it’s a really goofy way for his character to go out. Ursa finally realizes what happened, and then Lois kills her by, well, take a wild guess.

And so, with the Kryptonians defeated and Lex Luthor...somewhere (not still inside the Fortress of Solitude, I hope, since Superman destroys the place with his heat vision. He does weirdly disappear after the Kryptonians die in the Donner cut with no explanation though), Lois and Clark have a heartfelt moment as Superman chooses to sacrifice his relationship to continue being the protector Earth needs. It’s a bit of a downer ending, but I liked how the movie shows Superman accepting the responsibilities of his role and moving forward.

So yeah, the third act kind of lost me at points, but at least it redeemed itself in the end-- OH GOD NO WAIT

Yep, in its last moments, Superman once again turns back the clock to prevent the entire movie from happening. It reminded me of the end of Deadpool 2 when Wade is given the time travel device, and instead of doing anything meaningful with it, he goes back in time to kill Ryan Reynolds twice and save only a single member of his X-Force, although I guess in this movie it’s a little more meaningful, and not fourth wall breaking.

Superman’s plan is to go back to right before Lois became suspicious of Clark being the big blue boy scout and makes a foolish pushover of himself. Then he goes back to the hot dog bully, this time with superpowers, and beats him up. I guess he also prevents Zod, Non, and Ursa from escaping the Phantom Zone, but I just watched the movie and I can’t recall them making as big of a deal out of that as they did with beating up the hot dog bully.

These last few minutes are almost enough to destroy the entire experience of the movie, with an ending no better than if Clark woke up in a cold sweat and realized it was only a dream.

I’ve never actually seen the original cut, but now I’m even more interested in seeing what changes it made to the movie and if its ending was any better. Sorry this was such a long post, this is an interesting movie and I really wanted to talk about it.

#superman #superman ii #superman 2 #richard donner #dc #dc movies #movie review

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