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queenimmadolla · 2 months

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𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐝

Summary: A glimpse into Eddie’s morning as a first time and young dad with his baby. Oh, and you’re there, too.

Warnings: allusions to sexy stuff, descriptions of breastfeeding (it’s natural—suck it up), and fluff.

a/n: pulled this one out of the vault for you guys, written last July. hope you like it!

Eddie’s up before you and surprised to see it’s light outside, a sight he hasn’t woken up to in the last couple of months. Two, to be exact.

That’s when the two of you had brought Penny home.

Eddie yawned, impressively loud before he slapped a hand over his mouth, gaze flickering to you but you were still asleep; on your stomach with your face partially hidden in your pillow. You’d successfully kicked the sheets off yourself in your sleep, leaving your legs bare and your top half covered with one of Eddie’s larger shirts.

One of your legs was bent at the knee and raised up near your elbow.

God, you always looked so fucking delectable. All he’d have to do is rouse you with some kisses pressed to your neck, settle himself behind you, pull his boxers down and move your panties to the side and he could just—

Eddie inhaled sharply, tearing his gaze away from your body before his blood could rush off to an area he didn’t have the time to acknowledge, as the very reason he couldn’t partake in his little fantasy cooed from her crib.

She’d been the result of a very similar event.

He took a couple of moments to calm himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he promised, soon.

Then he got out of bed, snagging a band t-shirt from the dresser as he walked to the crib on the other end of the room.

Eddie yanked on the shirt—only briefly struggling with the arm holes—before he was peering into the crib, mouth breaking out in a megawatt grin.

Penny was awake alright, big brown eyed stare focused on a sticker that had been plastered to the wall of his room long before she was even conceived. You’d swaddled her before putting her to bed last night, so she looked like an adorable, content burrito.

Once she realized Eddie was hovering over her, the sticker lost her attention and those big beautiful eyes were on him, sparkling as her mouth parted in a gummy smile big enough to rival his own.

Daddy came to rescue her from confinement.

“Hi, baby, good morning!” Eddie cooed, trying his best to excitedly whisper so as to not disturb you, but he couldn’t help it. He was still so thrilled—and fucking terrified—to be a dad, to have that cute face peering up at him every morning and waiting for him when he got home from work. She always looked at him like he was the greatest thing to walk the earth, always so delighted to see her daddy.

Even though she’d start crying for you the moment you came into view—but you had an advantage he lacked, you always had her food on you. Her walking meal ticket.

And Eddie couldn’t even blame her, he was a huge fan of your boobs and he’d even bet he appreciated them more than Penny.

Eddie reached into the crib, tugging the tucked in corner of the blanket out and as the blanket around her loosened, Penny’s arms shot up near her head, her tiny body arching as she stretched for a comically long period of time. Eddie chuckled, using it to his advantage, he slipped an arm behind her back and head with the other supporting her bottom as he picked her up, pressing a kiss to her head (and giving her hair a secret little sniff to get a whiff of that baby scent of hers).

“Did you sleep good, honey?” He cradled her in one arm, tucked close to his chest as he carried her out of the room to start on breakfast.

Penny obviously didn’t answer, head resting against his collarbone.

“Heard you woke up mom last night—well, early this morning, I guess—with boobie demands.”

Eddie pulled the fridge open, hovering in front of it as he debated on its contents before selecting the cartridge of eggs.

He didn’t want to put Penny down, happy to have her curled up in his arms, so a simple breakfast would have to do. A pan was pulled out, so was a little bit of cooking oil and soon Eddie was breaking the eggs out of the shell—angling his body to the side so Penny wasn’t at risk of possible oil splash back—and letting them cook.

“You like eggs?” Eddie asked, stepping a little ways from the stove as he hitched her higher on his chest and held the eggshells out for her to see.

She kicked her legs, a roll covered arm shakily reaching out towards the shells but Eddie kept them out of her reach.

“Uh-uh, no sticky fingers for you, young lady.”

The shells were tossed in the trash can but Penny didn’t care, twisting her upper so her chest was pressed to his. She gripped his shirt loosely in her chunky fist as she leaned forward and mouthed at his shoulder, effectively soaking the area with her drool before she began to suckle.

“Jesus, you act like we starve you.” Eddie chuckled, reaching for a recently washed pacifier to pop into her mouth.

She seemed to prefer it over his shirt, doing a full body sigh once she was suckling on it, with her need partially sated (eddie knew he had about fifteen minutes to wrap up breakfast before she realized nothing was coming from it and would start crying), Penny went back to cuddling into his chest.

She was starting to be a little more active—not sleeping as much as she did this time last month but for the most part, her movements were still unstable. She had good neck control (you’d had to pin Eddie down to keep him from picking her up when she’d immediately cry upon being put down for tummy time), she liked to kick her legs like she was about to take off for a marathon, but she still couldn’t quite hold things for long (unless it was hair or fingers) and had yet to roll over without you cheating and nudging her the rest of the way.

Speaking of making Penny do things…

Eddie lost to his intrusive thought, rearranging his hold on Penny so he was gently grasping her sides as he placed her feet on the counter. Immediately, she popped down to squat before shooting up again. And then she did it once more, getting comfortable with using her legs.

She didn’t even seem to wonder why Eddie was making her stand, she was more focused on staring intensely at her own feet.

Then Eddie made her jump, lifted her up and down and up and down, and when that got her smiling wide enough for her pacifier to fall out of her mouth, Eddie moved onto the cabinets.

“Go, baby, go!” He turned her on her side, miming the motions of her chunky legs running over the top cabinets like some baby ninja and laughing at how big her smile managed to keep getting, her big eyes squinting with it.

“What are you doing to my baby?” You asked as you emerged from the bedroom, rubbing sleep from your eyes.

“She’s gonna be the next Karate Ki—hello.”

Eddie couldn’t help himself, dark gaze trailing over your figure as you stood there, hair a wreck, no pants, oversized t-shirt—ooh, and a leaking nipple.

Eddie’s favorite. Yum.

You followed his gaze, scoffing at the dark stain growing over your left boob, hand pressing against it to stop it as if you were applying pressure to a wound.

“It heard her,” You pouted, lip stuck out and wobbling at him as you referenced your body’s response to the sound of your baby. Crying, giggling, whimpering—didn’t matter, your milk ducts went into overdrive, aware that your baby was conscious and could need a feeding. Her baby noises were like a trigger sequence.

Eddie lifted Penny to his face, pressing fervent kisses into the chub of her cheeks, “Score for you, babe!”

You rolled your eyes, completely, utterly fond and smitten over the interaction. He briefly abandoned the kitchen to hand her to you after you’d made yourself comfortable on the couch, ready to fall to his knees in adoration.

You pulled the shirt over your breast, and despite trying to place your nipple in her mouth for her, Penny struggled to find it, mouthing greedily at your boob, her little head turning this way and that way but always missing the peak.

“Girl, it’s right there.” You laughed. Penny gave it like four more seconds of trying before her whimpers kicked in and you hurriedly managed to get her to latch, stopping the outburst.

And just like that, Penny was content, making satisfied little squeaks as she nursed and stared up at you, pretending like she hadn’t been moments away from screaming her lungs out.

And Eddie was distracted, solely focused on the two of you and how he wanted to roll around on the carpet because the cuteness aggression was almost unbearable. If this was how he would be spending every work-free morning for the rest of his life, he was ready to convert to being a morning person.

Especially if those big sparkly eyes and that gummy smile would be staring up at him. GOD-she was so stinking cute. He wanted to smother her in his affection, but she was growing annoyed with Eddie all up in her face and squishing the chub she was accumulating. She even cried if he faked chewed on her chunky cheeks for too long.

“What’s that smell?” You asked, snapping him out of his love stupor as you sniffed loudly.

“FUCK!” Eddie bolted back to the kitchen, smoke surrounding the pan and what had once been edible eggs, “Hey, honey, what’s your opinion on extra crispy eggs? You a risk taker?”

“The answer to that is hurting my nipple right now.”

“Valid. That was a very fun risk.”

divider ℗ cafekitsune ♡

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sunflower-lilac42 · 3 months

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✧ 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 || jack hughes ♔

summary: jack calls his mom in tears and on the brink of a panic attack because he messed up, and all he wants is for his girl to come back to him. and with a little help from ellen, he knows exactly what to do for that to happen.

warnings: sad jack, asshole-ish jack (implied), one very mild mention of dark thoughts, sad, fights

publish date: 02/11/24

notes: i like how this is my first jack fic and i made him an asshole (kind of, it's implied). anyways as soon as i started writing this i was in love with my writing (in a non-conceited way). like just the way the story flowed had me dying. there’s also only one thing of dialogue at the beginning for a while but i promise there is some at the end, i got side tracked while writing. BUT THIS IS GOOD I PROMISE! (and there's a little fluff at the end) based off of this ask that i got a while ago -> idea! add yourself to the taglist ➺ taglist!

nhl masterlist | main masterlist

“Mom I think I really fucked up.”

Jack was in tears as he sat with his back against the door to his bedroom. His room was messy, with pieces of clothing scattered everywhere, suit jackets flung across his bed, and take-out containers on his nightstand, but the only thing he was focused on was the cardboard box that was set less than a foot in front of him. It had a card resting on top of it, his name written in the tiniest of letters. He could faintly smell her perfume on the sweatshirts and shirts that were left inside.

When he walked out of his room, the box was something he wasn’t expecting to see. It was resting in Luke’s hands when he walked out, proceeding to ask what it was. When Luke said it was from her, he grabbed it and ran back into his room, shutting and closing the door behind him. He had only managed to get one flap of the box open before he started crying uncontrollably.

He had seen the gray material, the logo of his team branded on it. He had backed himself up against the door and tried to collect himself and failed. Deep in his mind, he knew he shouldn’t have the right to be acting like this, he had been the one to end it. Yet, seeing the aftermath without her made him realize what he had truly lost.

The nights when he came home from a game that they won, she wasn’t there to congratulate him, to celebrate with him, to let him hold her. The nights when he came home from a game that they lost, she wasn’t there to console him, to comfort him, to tell him it wasn’t his fault, to run her fingers through his hair. The mornings that he woke up and felt lonely and cold because she wasn’t in his arms, she wasn’t there to pepper his face with little kisses. She wasn’t there to wake him up in the middle of the night because she was hungry or because she had this genius idea. She wasn’t there to cook dinner for him and Luke when that was all they needed after a long day. She wasn’t there to help him pack and unpack for a road trip. She wasn’t there to help him pick out what suit to wear for the game. She wasn’t there at all anymore.

The thoughts plagued him, angered him, saddened him, hurt him. For some reason, these thoughts never came up before, never this strong. Seeing the things that had been hers, became hers, and weren’t his hurt him. It made him realize what he had done, and what he had done was real. He couldn’t help the new thoughts that came to his mind, the ones that called him stupid, the ones who called him an idiot, the ones that were dark enough that he hated himself for those too.

When he found himself finding it hard to breathe he reached for his phone, calling Ellen. Ellen was not expecting those words when she picked up the phone. No one had known about their breakup, no one had known about Jack’s words that he said to her that night, no one had known about the way she tried to fight but he refused to even listen to her.

Everyone knew that the two were off, however. Jack hadn’t been performing well, barely even getting a couple of shots on goal during games. He had gotten into a few fights, mostly because he was stressed and every little thing someone did set him off. He didn’t go out to celebrate with the team after a win, he distanced himself from everyone including his brother.

She, on the other hand, hadn’t talked to anyone in the past two weeks. She never went to the apartment anymore, she didn’t reach out to Luke or the team at all, and she never drove Jack and Luke to games anymore, it was like she disappeared. In reality, she had been huddled up in her apartment, tears ending up on every piece of clothing she wore, they ended up on the sheets too. There was an abundance of tissues in a plastic bag that rested on the left side of her bed. Her TV had been playing nothing but sad romance movies; The Notebook, Irreplaceable You, All the Bright Places, The Fault in Our Stars, and Five Feet Apart were a few. She hadn’t moved from her spot unless she had to go to the bathroom.

Her main source of food was the snacks that she brought into her bedroom almost every other day. Sometimes if she was feeling up for it, she would order something and wait for it in the living room. She hadn’t attempted to cook, reminding her too much of when she did it for him. She hadn’t understood why he did it, what prompted him to do it, what prompted the thoughts, what she had done wrong to make him feel differently about him. She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t allow her to talk, allow them to talk it through. It was a messy night, his voice was doing the abundance of the talking.

He had yelled at her for no reason. They had been sitting in the living room peacefully and she had commented on going out for dinner. It wasn’t the comment that set him off, he had been in his mind for the majority of the night prior to that moment. He didn’t know what brought these feelings on but he had to get them out. He had screamed for about ten minutes while she sat in silence tearing up. She had attempted to fight for them, saying she was sorry for god knows what. She had attempted to get an answer out of him but was met with silence. She had stormed out after 5 minutes of pleading, leaving Jack as alone as she felt.

Jack receiving the package was the first form of communication they had had in two weeks. And that had really put things into perspective for him. He had babbled all of this to Ellen, having to take breaks a lot to control his sobs and breathing. Ellen felt absolutely heartbroken as she listened to her son cry. She knew what he had done wrong, it was painfully obvious, but the amount of tears that she could hear from him made her sympathetic towards him.

Nonetheless, Ellen set him straight, not that he needed to be anyway, he knew he was wrong from the moment she left him sitting there. She had done her best to calm him down beforehand, Jack’s mind still in overdrive. He took in everything his mom said, agreeing with every point she made about him being wrong. She spoke in a gentle yet strict tone, letting him know that she felt sorry for him but what he did was horrible. He knew that and listening to his mom say it too made it feel all the worse.

When Ellen hung up, Jack was once again left alone with the silence and his thoughts. He didn’t want to be alone anymore, yet he wasn’t in the right place to go and get her back. He thought he would just go over there and make it worse, make it so she would never want him back. So he walked out into the living room and looked at his brother who was watching TV, acting as if he had heard nothing.

Jack plopped himself down next to him on the couch. He went to say something but he could feel another wave of tears coming. He went to stand up but Luke pulled him down, not wanting him to be alone anymore either. Jack buried his head into his younger brother’s shoulder and sobbed, slightly embarrassed but too sad to worry about it.

✧��✎༻∞

The next morning, Jack woke up with a pounding headache but he knew he needed to get his shit together. He took the box y/n had sent him and taped it back up, not taking one single thing out of there. He dressed in her favorite outfit of his, deciding he’d at least look how she liked him too. He even washed his hair, knowing how much she loved it when it was soft and looked like a fluffy mop on top of his head.

He knew that no matter how good he made himself look, it would have almost no impact on the outcome of this conversation. He knew how much he had hurt her and how much trust he had to earn back. He knew that no matter how many gifts he bought or made would ever make up for it, but that didn’t stop him from buying her favorite ice cream and flowers and making her a card.

He drove to her apartment and jumped out of the car as soon as he got there, running up the stairs as fast as he could. He knocked on the door lightly, waiting somewhat impatiently for her to open the door. It took a few minutes before he had to knock again and this time, she opened it seconds later, “What?”

“Please don’t close the door. I just want to talk.”

“Oh so-”

“Yes. “So now I want to talk.” Please y/n/n.” He cut her off, immediately knowing what she was going to say. His puppy dog eyes were out in full force and she didn’t know whether or not it was on purpose or a subconscious habit of his when he asked for something he wanted.

She sighed, knowing that she couldn’t stand his eyes any longer. She turned around and walked further into her apartment, waiting for Jack to follow her. When he stepped in, his heart stopped at the broken glass that lay in the kitchen. He followed her with his eyes as he shut the door. He watched as she sat down and wrapped a blanket around her.

Before he got there, she had been watching another sad movie, Kiss and Cry this time. She had been caught off guard when she heard the knock and only wished it would go away. However, when she heard it again, she got up and opened it, feeling both upset and frustrated at who was there. Hearing the way his voice broke when he talked also aided in her decision to let him in. She felt sad when he sat down next to her and reached out to place his hand on her thigh like an instant reaction. He retracted it as soon as it made contact with the blanket, nervous that she would yell at him.

She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath in preparation, “I’m sorry. And I know that no matter what I say, or how much I tell you I’m sorry, it won’t be enough. It won’t justify what I did, but just hear me out please.”

She nodded, allowing him to go on. The look on his face showed the gratitude he had for her response, “I shouldn’t have said what I said. Truthfully I don’t know why I said what I said. I think I must’ve been nervous about our future together but I feel like that’s just an excuse at that point. I don’t know what I was thinking, believe me. And I’m sorry I didn’t let us even try to talk it out, to let you talk. I- I just- To be honest, I really don’t know, y/n.

“ I feel so lost right now, I hated you not being there. I hated not being able to come home from a game and celebrate with you when we won or have you comfort me when we lost. I hated not being able to wake up and you were the first thing I saw. I hated not being able to make dinner with you or play pranks on Luke or having you wake me up in the middle of the night because you had the most random epiphany.” He gave her a little laugh, “I hated not knowing that you were okay.”

She had been looking at the ground the whole time he spoke until he said that. She looked up and made eye contact with him, both of them harboring tears in their eyes. She knew that he meant it, she knew that he didn’t mean anything he said two weeks ago. At first, when she initially thought he would come to her apartment to plead for her back, she wasn’t going to accept the ‘I don’t know’ excuse, but she could tell that he really didn’t know why he did it.

She reached out to hold his hand, toying with his fingers, “I believe you, Jack. And I’m not going to say it’s okay because it’s not, but I know when you mean something, Jack. I know that you didn’t have a reason to lash out.”

She took a deep breath before continuing, “But it’s going to take a while for this to get back to how it was between us.”

“And I know that, and I’m willing to take it at your pace, and communicate with you more, and be there for you more.”

She nodded and turned away slightly to look at the TV, “You wanna finish this movie with me?”

He smiled and nodded, following her request to sit next to her. Jack had thought back to the moment when he walked into the apartment for the first time, and remembered the broken glass, “Are you okay?”

“Now I am, why?”

“Because there was broken glass in the kitchen.”

“Oh, yeah. I knocked it off yesterday? Maybe the day before, I don’t remember. Hadn’t had the opportunity to pick it back up.”

Jack went over and picked it up in case she was to forget and got up in the middle of the night to grab a glass of water. When he got back, she laid her head on his chest and played with one of the strings from his hoodie, “This is my favorite hoodie.”

He nodded again, rubbing her back, “I know.”

“And you washed your hair.”

He felt his face flush at the realization that she had figured out what he was trying to do, “Did you think that the way you looked would convince me to take you back?”

He gave her a lopsided grin and shrugged a little, “A little.”

She sat up and kissed him, “You’re lucky it did, Hughes.”

They sat in a comfortable silence before y/n looked up at him, “Jack?”

“Yeah, baby?” The name was a force of habit and he went to apologize but when he looked down he saw her grinning at him.

“When can I get those sweatshirts back?”

Jack let out a laugh, “They’re in my car, didn’t even take them out of the box. Want me to go get them?”

“Yes please.” He went to move her off of him but she clung to him, missing how warm he felt in the past two weeks, “You gotta let go of me baby if you want them.”

She shook her head, snuggling deeper into them, “You want this one?”

She just nodded and briefly let go of him, allowing him to take it off. He slipped it over her head and then opened his arms so she could lay back on him, which she did immediately. They continued watching and she felt a tear hit her head, looking up in worry, “Jack?”

“Hmm?” He sniffled and wiped his tears off his face with his left hand.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just missed you, is all.”

She only smiled and hugged him tighter, both of them falling asleep minutes later with how comfortable they felt with one another.

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you

#sunny lune writes #jack hughes #jh86 #jack hughes x reader

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after-witch · 1 year

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Love is the Honey [Yandere Chrollo x Reader]

Title: Love is the Honey [Yandere Chrollo x Reader]

Synopsis: You were kidnapped by Chrollo Lucilfer, and truth be told, things aren’t exactly terrible. You don’t have to worry about bills or paying for groceries or appeasing a shitty boss. It’s come at the price of your freedom, but it might be worth it. There’s only one thing you can’t accept, and it’s the one thing Chrollo won’t stop trying.

word count: 5417

notes: yandere, kidnapped reader

Outside, the city lights are all whites and reds and greens, twinkling and glistening amidst the darkness of the night sky. But from up here, you hear nothing of the bustling night outside.

No sounds of half drunk friends giggling with arms linked, traveling from bar to restaurant and back to bar again. No car horns laid upon by impatient drivers, eager to get home after a long day at work. No quarrels, no compliments, no queries about what you’re doing later tonight.

Nothing at all.

Up here, in this hotel room, there is only you and the quiet hum of the air conditioner--and of course, Chrollo. Better known as your kidnapper, who is (at least for the moment) blissfully quiet. Minus the sounds of turning book pages, but those hardly register. Not when you’re absorbed in your own book, and not when you take a break and stare out the window at the city below.

Far, far below. He tends to book rooms as high as he can get them. You’ve wondered if he does this on purpose, a deterrent, since you can’t hope to escape out the window. Or if he simply prefers to be up and above everyone, literally and figuratively. But maybe you’re overthinking it.

Maybe the luxurious rooms he prefers to book tend to be on the higher levels. Above all the noise of the city, of the restaurant on the first floor, of the laundry that churns out fresh sheets and towels, washing away dirt and fluids and whatever else someone has left behind in a hotel room.

Did the workers ever wonder about the people behind those dirty towels, those rumpled sheets? Did a bellboy ever see you, your tired expression, and think, Hm, I wonder if she’s all right? Did the maid who turned over your hotel room see the stacks of books piled up near the window, the blanket and pillow stuffed on the chair, and wonder: But aren’t they a couple? Why would she be sleeping on the chair and not the bed?

Truth be told, there’s only two things that infuriate you about your current situation. One, that Chrollo repeatedly tries to put the moves on you. And two, that he insists on trying to make you sleep with him in the same bed. Keyword being, of course: trying. You’ve yet to give in.

The rest of it? The rest of the life that came with Chrollo, you can accept. It’s almost cathartic. Sure, you don’t have freedom of movement, of choice, of life.

But you have freedom from so much else.

Freedom from having to work day and night just to make enough money to pay your bills, and sometimes you still got behind on them. Freedom from worrying about whether or not the funny sound your sink made was an issue with the plumbing that would drain your savings and rack up more debt. Freedom from your friend’s drama and your mother’s exacting expectations that you could never meet.

Besides, the lifestyle he forced you into gave you opportunities you’d never have otherwise. You usually stayed in high-end places, fancy hotels and condos; there was the occasional ramshackle safe house, but they were few and far between. They were always just the right temperature with just the right amenities, keeping you safe and comfortable.

You got to do whatever you wanted, within reason. You could read as many books as you could get your hands on; you could ask for crafts and hobbies, and he typically indulged in.

You ate good food every night and never wondered where your next meal would come from, or debated skipping meals to save money. You’ve tried dishes that you only read about in books or saw in films about rich people. Sure, some of it you couldn’t pronounce, and there was an air of superiority in the way Chrollo explained them to you. The taste, however, was completely worth the pompous comments.

And Chrollo himself could be tolerable. Sometimes. He was always up for a discussion or debate. You didn’t mind the traps he set, the way he tried to worm his way into your psyche at unsuspecting moments. Because what did that matter, when you knew you weren’t likely to get away from him unless he happened to die. Your life was this now, so who cared, really, if Chrollo wanted to psychoanalyze you because you wanted pizza for breakfast three days in a row?

Sometimes you wondered what it said about society that you felt genuinely relieved to be kidnapped away from it all. The financial obligations. The social stress. All of it replaced with near constant indulgence in your personal whims and your mind’s lovely but strange ability to relax despite what should have been a high-stress kidnapping scenario.

But… the damn bed situation.

That’s one thing Chrollo refuses to do--accommodate your desire to sleep separately in any reasonable way. You’ve given up asking him to request two beds, you’ve even stopped asking if you would call room service and have them bring up a cot for the floor. But it would be nice if he would at least book a room with a sofa, and not simply a chair, which no matter how expensive the room is, is never comfortable enough for sleeping.

He won’t, though. He’s nothing if not persistent in his romantic pursuit of you, outlined in little touches, the way he likes to lean in close to speak with you, voice hushed and husky and flirtatious. He’s offered to kiss you, flat-out, sometimes. You refused. He continues to offer, continues to touch, continues to want.

He’s stubborn, in that respect.

But so are you.

Which is why you don’t put up with it, don’t indulge in it, and ignore it as best you can.

He may have kidnapped you. He may have taken away your freedom, but he wasn’t going to force you into a relationship. That was the one thing he wouldn’t take from you.

On that, you stood firm.

You just hoped the ground would never crack underneath the weight of his expectations.

“Dearest,” Chrollo says, and you don’t bother hiding the way you roll your eyes. It’s a pet name for a lover, and you are not a lover.

“Mm,” you respond, non-committal. You keep your eyes laser-focused on the coloring page in front of you. It was something they sold at a gas station gift shop, one of those books with complex lines and fanciful illustrations, aimed at adults with nothing better to do. Which, it so happens, turned out to fit you just fine.

There’s a pause. And then the shift of his clothing as he gets up from the queen sized bed and pulls out the chair across from you. He leans his elbows on the tiny side table, and you’re forced to scoot your book onto your lap to avoid it getting creased. Jerk.

You flit your eyes up to him.

“What’s up?”

At this, he exhales through his nose, almost a snort. Not quite as inelegant, you suppose.

“You’ve been behaving rather well these past few weeks.” He considers. “Months.” He considers, again, this time tilting his head in what appears to be an exceptionally practiced gesture. “You’ve always behaved well, actually, haven’t you? From the start. From the moment you woke up in my…” He seems to reach for a word. “In my care.”

You purse your lips.

You remember the first day well.

You were walking home from work, feet aching, mind thinking of a million obligations you had to get done before the week was out. That’s when you heard footsteps from behind you.

You immediately froze. The footsteps stopped when you did. Slowly, you turned around, and there was a man standing there. An attractive man with a wrap around his forehead. When he saw your stricken expression, he smiled.

“I apologize,” the man said. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

You pressed your lips down. “It’s fine.” Your heart raced, because you weren’t stupid, and strange men coming up to you at night was iffy at best and dangerous at worst. You were going to cross the street and head into the closest diner, just to be safe. Or that’s what you planned to do, before it went sour.

Before you could do anything, there was a terrible pinch in your neck and you saw his arm pull away just slowly enough to spot the needle in his hand. Everything went hot and blurry and when you woke up, you were in a hotel room bed with silk sheets underneath you and Chrollo Lucilfer standing above you.

“Good morning,” he said, and smiled.

Had it really been months since you were taken? You don’t exactly keep track of time, unless you’re eager to catch a certain movie on TV or you’re tracking the release date of a new book. You remember when you had to keep track of time for other reasons--making sure you got just enough sleep to avoid collapsing, calculating your work hours so that they would cover the bills, stretching your food budget thin enough to last the month.

Now, all you have to worry about is convincing Chrollo to head out to the bookstore on release date to get you what you want.

“Okay,” you say, after he’s been waiting long enough. “I don’t know why you’re bringing this up.”

You feel like a teenager being praised by their parents. The praise he gives is unwanted, confusing. You don’t know what to do with it, so you stare down at the book in your lap, and let your mind wander to more fun things. Maybe you should have used a darker green for the leaves--

“I’m curious as to why you’ve behaved this way.”

You shrug your shoulders without looking up. You’d like to get back to coloring, but if you tell him that, then he really won’t leave you alone.

“You haven’t tried to escape,” he continues, leaning in closer. There’s mint on his breath. He sometimes crunches them, and the sound irritates you. When you tell him so, he seems to do it more, but you genuinely can’t decide if he does it on purpose to piss you off or if he’s that damn addicted to the little candies and their breath-pleasing effect.

“You don’t try to ask anyone for help. You don’t put up a fuss when we move from place to place.” One of his hands reaches forward and rests on top of yours. When you move to pull away, he interlocks his fingers with yours. His skin is warm and the intimate contact is unpleasant.

It’s this gesture that irritates you, finally, and you tug on his hand. He doesn’t relent and you huff.

“So what? Do you want me to act like that? Do you want me to start screaming at the hotel concierge, “Help, I’ve been kidnapped!’?”

He chuckles. “There wouldn’t be a point, dear. No one would--”

“I know,” you interrupt. “No one would be able to help me. That’s not the point. I don’t ask anyone for help because it would be pointless. I don’t try to run because it would be pointless.” The edge of the coloring book suddenly becomes very interesting, and you bend the corner back and forth as you talk. “So why not take what’s good here and run with it? Unless you want me to start clawing at you every time you put your fingers near my thigh.” You let yourself grin, however empty it may look. “Actually, that sounds like a good idea.”

“You don’t fight me,” he muses, more to himself than to you. “But you do have a mouth on you.” His lips twitch, almost an imperceptible annoyed gesture, before his expression smooths back out into familiar calmness. But you saw it, and it makes something in your gut feel tight. He normally doesn’t care if you get snarky, but what if…?

His grip on your hand relaxes and he lets you pull your fingers away.

“You’re being annoying, and I’m going to color over here.” If your words are a little slower than usual, you can’t blame yourself for feeling nervous. But the half-smile you get in return is familiar territory, and the anxiety in your gut eases up.

You sigh through your nose and scoot your chair backwards, taking your book to the room’s large windowsill and pulling yourself onto that instead.

“Can we get takeout tonight?” You ask, without looking up. The light by the window is nicer for coloring, you decide, if a little bit more uncomfortable for a long coloring session.

“We’re going to cook tonight.” Out of the corner of your eye, you can see that he’s watching you, still sitting at the table. He leans his cheek against the palm of his hand. “The grocery delivery came this morning.”

You pout, all worries from the odd conversation gone. What little storm clouds that do show up in your life are, almost always, easily pushed away. “I really wanted takeout from the place we got the other day. Can’t we do groceries tomorrow?”

”No. I don’t want the meat to spoil.” His voice is firm, and he doesn’t respond to your pouting or the whittling, vaguely cloying tone you’ve taken.

You let your body sag in defeat. Oh, well.

It’s one of the few instances in which you know you can’t, and shouldn’t, push him. Chrollo has always been very particular about food. Or food waste, you suppose, is what he’s most particular about.

You learned your lesson on that months ago, when he insisted you finish the last bite of a meal you’d ordered, admittedly, out of spite. The stomach ache was not worth whatever triumph you imagined you’d get from sticking something in his figurative craw.

You take up your colored pencils again and start to fill in yet another empty space.

“Fine,” you mutter, determined not to let it spoil your otherwise relaxing evening. “But go easy on the garlic this time. It makes your breath stink.”

“Duly noted,” he murmurs. And there’s something almost wistful in his tone that catches your chest for a moment. But you push it away.

Doesn’t matter, nope. What matters is the coloring page in front of you, the relaxing motions of gradually filling in each space with your desired color, the ability to focus on nothing but this activity and not have to worry about anything outside the walls surrounding you.

You don’t look up.

Days blend into weeks blend into the blurry, vague--mostly comfortable--existence that is your life.

Or it used to be comfortable. Lately, very lately, Chrollo has become a bit stranger. It’s almost as if he’s on edge about something, which naturally puts you on edge. If he has something to worry about, then it must be serious, indeed.

But it’s bothersome. Because not only has he been behaving as if something big is on the horizon, he’s gotten a lot more insistent on his desire for something more with you. Maybe his nervousness is making him less shy about approaching you and your veneer of coolness towards any affectionate gestures.

This morning, when you stepped out of the shower, the chair you’d pushed up against the window, also known as your bed for the past two weeks, was gone. Not moved, but simply gone. You didn’t bother asking him where it went. The cool smile on his face as he pulled his change of clothes from the hotel drawer was answer enough.

Maybe you should have yelled at him. But thoughts of his glances lately, the tentative way he’d begun to talk with you, the gut-roiling fear of something happening, stopped you.

And that’s why you’re here, now, sitting in the same bed as Chrollo Lucilfer despite swearing to yourself that you’d do everything in your power to avoid this moment.

That’s why you’re enjoying the moment so fully right now, despite his proximity to you. He’s just… sitting, for once. Sitting and reading, or pretending well enough to fool you. Doesn’t matter, as long as he’s not trying to make a move.

But of course, he speaks, and breaks the peace.

“Are you enjoying the book, love?”

You turn the page.

“Not your love. But yes.”

You glance over and see him set his own book down on the side table. No bookmark in sight. You wonder if he was actually reading it or if he was just pretending tonight. You’re not sure which would annoy you more.

It doesn’t matter, because while you’re considering how you’re going to put off going to sleep for as long as possible, you feel the unmistakable sensation of his hand on your thigh. Your muscles tense immediately, and your brain seems to simultaneously.

“Perhaps,” he says, shifting closer to you on the bed, “you can take a break from your book.”

“I’d rather not,” you reply, biting, and try to shift your thigh away. But his tender touch becomes a firm grip on the meat of your thigh. You make a strangled noise and he leans in, voice irritating in your ear.

“You look beautiful tonight.”

Your book gets set on the bed, half-open, and you swat at his hand. He doesn’t budge.

So you try something else.

“What’s most beautiful about me?” You glance up at the mirror on the other side of the wall, above the faux fireplace. “The sweatpants that I’ve worn two days in a row, or that piece of broccoli stuck in my teeth from dinner?” He finally did let you get takeout, after the groceries were used up. “Thanks for that, by the way.” It’s not entirely sarcastic.

“You’re welcome,” he says, voice all silk. You wonder, briefly, if he’s ever entranced anyone with that soft, low tone that should drip charisma but instead makes you want to poke him in the eye. Maybe it would have entranced you, if he didn’t take you forcibly. But you’ve sworn to hold onto the one thing you can keep--your consent--and you’ll be damned if you shrug that off like you have everything else he’s taken.

He brings his other hand up to trace the top of your ear and you flinch.

“Stop.” You sound for all the world like you’re fighting with a sibling who has decided to irritate you deliberately on a very long car ride. “You’re being--” Irritating? Pushy? Creepy? A little of all three? “You’re in my space and I don’t like it,” is what you settle for.

It takes a few moments. But Chrollo does shift himself away from you, slowly removing his hand from your thigh, resting back in his previous position which was close but not unbearably so.

“You’re quite stubborn.” It’s said in a quiet tone that makes you want to think; it makes you want to wonder why he’s being so much more insistent lately, why he got rid of your chair when it’s something he’s indulged (not without complaints, mind you) for months.

You pick up your book with an overly dramatic, obvious gesture, hoping it doesn’t look as false as it feels.

“Well,” you tell him primly, resolving to get through the night with your dignity intact. “So are you.”

To say that you were surprised the rest of the night passed uneventfully would be an understatement. It took you hours to fall asleep, because you were sure--absolutely sure--that Chrollo would take advantage of the nighttime proximity to slide his hands around your waist or kiss your neck or something else unwanted.

But he didn’t. If anything, he was quieter than normal. There were no honey-laden queries before you went to sleep, his usual attempts to drag something personal out of you; all he did was bid you goodnight and rest his eyes.

It was enough to make your stomach churn.

And here you are, picking at breakfast. You weren’t in the mood for eggs--because of how restless you felt? You weren’t sure--but that’s what he gave you, and it’s what you were going to eat this morning.

The breakfast table is unusually quiet, almost taking on a veneer of domesticity, until he speaks up.

“I’m taking you to meet someone today.” You look up, genuinely shocked. He continues, ignoring the wary, uncertain expression on your face. “Several people, in fact.”

The runny yolk clinging to your fork seems suddenly interesting. It makes a little pattern when you scrape the fork against the bottom of your plate, dragging gooey orange with it.

Your voice is thick with sarcasm, a tone you often take with him when the subject gets uncomfortable.

“Soo… is this a ‘I’m taking you to meet my parents’ type of thing? Because I don't think t hey’ll--”

“No,” he says, interrupting. Something in his clipped tone makes you immediately clam up. There might as well be a red sign above his head, flashing, DANGER, DANGER, DO NOT ENTER. So you drop it.

“Companions,” he continues, more calm and routine now. He begins to butter your toast for you (a gesture he insists upon, and which you hate) as he speaks, and you shove a piece of warm egg white in your mouth. “The closest ones I’ve had.” He pauses. “Except for you, of course, dearest.” He says this last bit to soothe your ego, as if you were offended--you weren’t.

You eye the toast he drops on your plate and pick it up. Maybe if you eat faster, you can get some reading time in before you go… wherever it is he’s taking you. Thinking about it too much makes you feel a little sick.

“What’s the occasion, anyway?” The toast is warm and perfectly buttered and delicious. It annoys you, that he knows how to butter your toast so well. It’s such a stupid, small thing--but it’s grating, especially right now, with things so out of sorts. “You don’t normally let other people near me.”

He smiles, and you could swear it’s wistful. “No, not normally. This is different. It’s customary to introduce our companions once they’re… settled.”

You don’t like how he says the word settled. You don’t like how he says the words companions, either, for that matter. You’re about to tell him as such, when he speaks up, asking a question that raises your alertness even higher.

“Are you going to be good today?”

Your lip quirks up, mouth still filled with toast, when you answer. This morning, the sass feels forced.

“Am I ever bad?”

He hums, and sips his coffee. “That depends on the perspective, doesn’t it?”

You don’t respond, and the two of you eat in silence that doesn’t quite feel companionable. There’s something in the air. Thick and buzzy. You can’t shake off the feeling of dread that’s building inside you, and it doesn't get any better when Chrollo finishes his meal and stands to go clean up the dishes.

Or when he leans over the table and places his hand on your hand. His favorite gesture. Your fingers twitch but you resist the urge to smack him away today. It feels like the wrong move right now.

“Really,” Chrollo says, adding your name with a seriousness that you’ve rarely heard. “Do behave yourself today.”

You swallow the toast and pretend the knot in your stomach is from the eggs.

Suddenly, Chrollo seems far more normal than you’ve ever viewed him before. Far more safe. And it’s this newfound perspective that keeps you almost clinging to his side.

You forget the names of the people in front of you as soon as Chrollo introduces them. You hope it doesn’t matter . You’ll probably forget their faces, too, if you don’t see them often enough. But you won’t forget the absolute power that radiates from them, even standing here simply and casually. You feel this with Chrollo, too, but never to this degree. Is it because Chrollo turns himself down for you, or because there’s only one of him?

After, it’s time to introduce you. Chrollo has the decency to keep holding your hand--you don’t want to be separate from him for once, at this moment--as he nudges you forward just enough. He tells them your name--you wonder if they care, and then doubt it.

“And it goes without saying,” he continues, some sort of soft pride in his tone, “that they’re my--”

Christ, you’re scared of the people in front of you, and maybe it’s the terror that pushes forward that impulsive, intrusive desire to keep Chrollo from telling his companions that you’re dating or in a relationship or whatever he had in mind.

“We’re roommates,” you blurt out, loud, obtrusive. “Just roommates.”

You’re proud of yourself for saying this, as you are every time you manage to keep the only thing you have left intact. Proud and relieved and feeling high from the adrenaline of it all.

But oh, the way Chrollo grips your hand tighter. Oh, the way the expressions on the people in front of you shift in varying degrees, eyebrows raised, expressions disbelieving. One of them, impossibly huge with a matching mane of hair, snorts out a laugh that he smothers when Chrollo inclines his head just a fraction toward him.

Oh, you have fucked up. You have fucked up in a way that makes your stomach drop, makes your hand begin to tremble, and not just because of Chrollo’s increasingly uncomfortable grip on your hand.

The lock clicks behind you and it seems to resound louder than ever before. Was the hotel room always so chilly? Maybe the heat wasn’t working.

Or maybe it was the fact that Chrollo said not a single word on the ride home, or on the way into the hotel, or in the elevator on the ride up to your room. You thought he might have calmed down on the way home, but no such luck. On the way, you tried to think

You drop your coat on the bed and resolve to hop in the shower, to get away from him for a bit, to hopefully let things get back to normal. But he says your name, almost too quiet to hear, and you slowly turn to face him.

“Chrollo?” Your throat feels tight and you swallow against it.

He’s staring down at his hand. At his finger. Then he looks up at you.

You’re about to make an absurd joke about a wedding ring, anything to ease the tension, but the deepened look in his gaze stops you. Deep and dark and almost frenzied. Your heart suddenly feels like it’s leaping. You pissed him off, you really did, and he didn’t have to say a thing for you to know it.

“Roommates.”

He takes a step toward you. You take a step back. He takes a step forward. And you go back, until you’re against a wall. The shell you’ve made around yourself, carefully laid with quips and smirks and endless distractions, cracks with each of his footsteps.

”Listen,” you say, voice light and wobbling. Maybe you can save this. Maybe. “About tonight, I know I shouldn’t have said--”

“Be quiet,” he says, firm, unrelenting. You shouldn’t push him, and your stomach drops to the floor as he presses himself against you.

In a moment, he’s not just against you--but kissing you. It’s not a nice kiss, nothing soft or sweet. There’s frenzy in it, desperation, frustration. You don’t know if lips can bruise but if they do, yours surely will. You keep your teeth clenched but it doesn’t stop him, licking and biting at your lips as your stomach flips horribly.

It’s too much. You don’t want this, not like this, not him, not here--

After far too long, he slowly pulls himself away from you. The dark expression in his eyes has only deepened.

“You’ve really never seen it,” he says, breath warm against your cheek. He sounds as if he’s finally realized something important. And he has.

“What?” You blink, you shake your head, you want to get away. You turn your head away from him, anything to stop seeing that look in his eyes, but his hand grips your chin and turns it back. “I’ve never seen what?”

“The red thread,” he murmurs, the words soft against your lips.

“What are you talking about?” You don’t hide your confusion, voice cracking and airy.

The hand holding your chin relents and he trails his thumb over your sore lips before pulling away entirely.

“The red thread,” he tells you, and instead of anger in his voice there is only a deep indulgence. It scares you far more than the chilly atmosphere in the car ride back. “Why do you think I chose you, hm?” His voice drops lower and the words are too close, too intimate, too much. “We’re soul mates.”

Your brain scrambles, but not a single snarky word comes to mind. You weren’t… completely oblivious to the concept of soul mates. You knew people who swore they could see a connection between them and someone else. Red threads, sure, and sometimes other things. Names etched on skin. Symbolic tattoos. But you had never seen anything like that on your body.

Was there really a red thread connecting the two of you? It would explain a lot of things. Like why he took you. Like why he put up with you.

“I don’t want to be soul mates.” You don’t mind it, the freedom from all those burdens. You will pay the price of captivity if it means release from all that, but this last thing? Your ability to be yourself, to be separate from him in some way? You won’t give that up. Not willingly. Never.

He only chuckles, short and dark, at your words. There’s something bitter in it.

“It doesn’t matter what you want.” His hand comes up to caress your cheek again, and the unwanted touch seems to remind you of everything he’s taken from you. You’re starting to feel sick. “The thread that connects us was pre-destined. You could hate me, dislike me, all you want and…”

“I don’t hate you,” you interrupt, blunt, blurting. Intrusive thoughts win out again.

He raises his eyebrows and his eyes widen and in that, there’s a fraction of vulnerability. Like a tiny fissure.

“No? Then why do you persist in refusing me?”

Looking at him is hard, but this time, he lets you turn your head away, dropping his hands to his sides. You’re stuck right in front of him, regardless. It’s the least he could do.

“I don’t like you… like that.” You bite on the inside of your cheek. “I mean, well. You kidnapped me. I don’t think that’s unreasonable to say.” You glance at him, but he doesn’t look angry. Merely interested.

You take a deep breath, and a confessional sigh escapes your throat. “But I can live with this.” You gesture towards the room. “With being kidnapped, I mean. It’s not all bad.” You think about how you no longer rip your hair out from stress or cry yourself to sleep wondering how the bills will be paid this month. “As long as you’re not trying to do… the relationship stuff.” You drag your teeth over your bottom lip. You can still taste him, insistent and firm.

Tentatively, you let your gaze return to meet his. Behind his eyes, you can practically see the clockwork and cogs moving.

“I see,” he says, slow, thoughtful. “Thank you for the clear explanation.”

“Are you mad?”

He smiles. It looks like a weight has been taken off his chest, and that scares you.

“Of course not. Apologies will be in order for your behavior earlier today. But as for the rest? I’m not angered in the slightest.”

“Why not?”

The hand, the one he claimed held the red thread, catches against your own. His fingers interlock with yours and you feel too numb to pull away this time.

“Simple, dearest.” He pulls his fingers tighter and somehow it feels like your hands will never part again. It’s a ridiculous thought, childish, but it makes your heart quicken anyway. “Since you are so prone to acclimating to your… situation in other respects, I feel confident that you will not always feel so negatively towards a relationship with me.”

You want to protest. You start to, but you can’t find the words–sarcastic or otherwise.

“After all,” he continues, voice low and smooth and confident now. His other hand returns to your chin, tilting it up as he stares at you, assessing, greedily taking the sight of you in. “I have the rest of our lives together to change your mind.”

#yandere chrollo #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere #yandere chrollo lucilfer #afterwitch writes

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cultofdixon · 2 months

Text

Ray of Fucking Sunshine

Negan Smith • She/Her Pronouns • Mess with the little pregnant lady, you mess with so much more • SFW/ANGST/NSFW - Implied Sex / Hickeys • TW: Pregnancy & Birth / Nausea & Vomiting / Over-Protectiveness / Injuries / Mentions of Canon Violence • Pre-Savior Arc

Requested by: Anon

“Wait. Run that back to me, darling?” Negan was confused with what his partner Y/N had just told him.

“It ain’t rocket science understanding that I’m pregnant, baby” Y/N frowns leaning against the counter to the room the two claimed when they found their new home. “This is gonna be one hell of a journey unless you want me to get rid of it. Though I can’t think of a healthy way of doing it. Think they’ve got any coat hangers still lying around?”

“Well aren’t you funny” Negan scoffs followed by a semi annoyed laugh toward her words. He lifted himself up from the bed bringing himself close to Y/N as she started to avoid his gaze. “Hey, don’t hide those gorgeous eyes from me” he gently lifts her chin so her eyes locked with his. “This is a good thing alright? I want to have this baby and if yea don’t…well, I think they’ve got them metal coat hangers around” he jokes making her laugh and bring back that smile of hers followed by his.

“We’re gonna be parents”

“Yeah we are” Negan smiles kissing her lovingly resting his hands on her hips bringing her close as she brought her arms around his neck even if he was much taller than her and had to be on her tippy toes.

When they parted, Negan couldn’t help but picture their future and that brought a sense of warmth to the man.

Their baby is the future of their new community; The Sanctuary

First Trimester

“So you’re replacing me”

“Hey, don’t put words in my mouth” Negan kept his cool when talking to his partner. “You’re pregnant. Can’t handle the heavy shit and it’ll be good to have another right hand. Plus Simon shows promise”

“Simon is a pain in the ass!”

“Alright yea only say that because the man got in your way for just a second”

“I HAD TO PEE DUMBASS. I WOULDVE FUCKING THROWN HIM IF I HAD THE STRENGTH TO” Y/N snapped noticing Negan taking it which led to tears forming in her eyes. “He better not replace me”

“Darling…no one can replace you” Negan reassures gently wiping away her tears taking note that he’ll have to get used to the mood changes.

A knock was heard before the door opened revealing the man they were talking about and Y/N immediately shifted her attention to him.

“I CANT HAVE A SECOND WITH MY PARTNER?! WHO THE FUCK LET YOU COME IN?!”

“I knocked first” Simon laughs which only enraged Y/N more as she approaches him about to say something when her face went pale. Causing his expression to fall. “Uh, you alri—-“ then the vomit instantly spilled from her mouth and onto his shoes. “Oh wow what the actual fuck”

Negan was about to check on her when she slowly stood straight wiping the puke off her mouth with the back of her hand. She suddenly flipped him off to back off before mumbling and walking out of the room leaving the two.

“The fuck just happen?”

“Morning sickness. That might happen more than yea think” Negan sat on the edge of the conference table crossing his arms. “So, about the community yea found while scouting? The Hilltop?”

The next couple days Negan stuck close in the Sanctuary when it came to Y/N and her morning sickness. She still tried to do a few things around the joint when her stomach didn’t want to hold everything. Simon has met the short end of the stick a few times when it came to her not reaching a bucket or the bathroom but he can’t say anything if he wants to get on Negan’s good side.

“Get the new group situated and for the new prisoner? Have Eric break him like he broke the last one. Need more Negans if yea get me”Negan tells Laura one of his trusted soldiers as she nods soon exiting the room letting both Simon and Y/N in. Simon came in with a mockup map made of the Hilltop community while Y/N came in for other reasons but she kept quiet so Negan can talk business first. “We are aiming at Oceanside in the next few days. Laura and David are joining me while I’m trusting you to scout out the Hilltop more to get an insight on. Take that Jared guy or at least another body. Take note on any weak points”

“You got it boss. This is the most recent mock up. Apparently, Y/N over here…snuck into the car I took and took pictures with the camera we’ve got”

“This bitch just had to be a snitch!” Y/N hissed as again, Negan stayed in their community to keep an eye on her but she of course snuck past him. “He was going to give you fucking blobs on a piece of paper! At least I—-“

“I ain’t mad darling. Next time just tell me or who knows who would have to die because of your disappearance” Negan trails his eyes onto Simon indicating he will meet his end if anything happened to his partner. “Anyway, you both did good work. Simon, if yea find their weaknesses…you’ll help with the lineup”

The man light up when he heard that while as for Y/N she only knew that brought blood shed and that didn’t sit well with her…in the physical sense. She quickly shoved Simon with an unexpected strength expelling from her causing him to fall over as they both knew why.

“I’m gonna go check on her. You better have a plan for your further scouting when I get back” Negan states heading out of the conference room to go through the entire sanctuary to reach the private rooms including his and Y/N’s.

It was all coming together if you asked the big man. Their prisoner system with psychological breaking was working, their walker yard was being perfected, their living quarters for more of the “civilian” saviors took up most of the first floor, and they’ve gotten a few things to help this place in a medical sense.

The more graphic horrors didn’t become more noticeable until later.

“Y/N?” Negan calls out pushing the door open to their living quarters finding his partner seated on the floor looking through a box. “You feelin’ better? One of the guys found a case of ginger ale that went untouched. Could get one of’em to….” He stopped rambling bringing himself to sit with her seeing the pictures she was going through that she found.

“Do you miss her?” The sadness in her tone spoke through catching Negan off guard. He doesn’t like the mood swings, or what triggers them.

“Why?” Nice.

“She was your wife…who died of cancer” Negan didn’t keep his past a secret from Y/N and Y/N only. “Now you have me and we’re about to have a baby. I just…makes me wonder if you wish you had this with her”

“Y/N. Look at me” Negan waited for her to do so before getting into it. “I’ll always love my wife and what we had. But that’s the past, and you’re my future”

Y/N wanted to say more but she couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped her lips as she brought her hand to rest on his cheek.

“That was cheesy…but I loved it” She continues to smile warmly bringing her hand to rest on his cheek feeling the smallest scratch of his beard on her palm.

Negan remained beside her for the rest of the day and only sneaking off when nightfall came. He was quiet about it and surprised himself a tad when it came to not waking his partner. But that didn’t matter when he reached the loading docks to find the trucks ready along with Simon holding Lucille for him.

“Doesn’t she know what you do in the dark, Negan?”

“For the most part. But this? No she doesn’t” Negan brushed past Simon to get to his car. “And if you tell her anything, it’ll be your brain matter on the ground this time”

Second Trimester

“I’ll cut your fucking hand off” Y/N threatens the doctor that Simon brought from one of the communities when he tried to get a blood pressure cuff on her. “I don’t believe you when you say Negan called for you”

“When he said you were feisty. I didn’t believe him. Now I wish I was killed on that wretched day instead of who he did kill” The doc’s words didn’t get a reaction out of the woman which only surprised him slightly but given this was Negan’s partner, the surprise didn’t last. “I’m not an OBGYN. I am trained in a few things but for the most part I am not. But I do know that high blood pressure can cause complications or something even worse”

Of course scarring her was going to get her to cooperate. Even if everyone witnessed Y/N trip the doctor in the common area a couple hours later.

“Yea done with the big man’s wife or what?”

“Yes” The doc informed Simon while the confusion grew on his features. “Why do you want to know? Negan is usually the one to come and meet up with her”

“Yeah well he’s busy and I gotta ask her somethin’. Move” Simon stated pushing the doctor aside not letting him have a moment to process.

Y/N quickly brought her attention onto the man that barged in. Her immediate glare made Simon take a step back.

“You’re not here to escort me anywhere are you? Negan said it was fine for me to take a walk outside after my “appointment” like I fucking needed one”

“Boss man said you haven’t been sleepin’ and that’s mainly why you had to get checked. Plus the new ultrasound machine we got from one of our communities”

“Okay…you sound much calmer than usual when talking to me. Fucking spit it out” Y/N leaned against the exam table with her arms crossed becoming more impatient by the second even if he just got in there. It’s Simon, he annoys her just by breathing and by taking her duties as right hand.

“I need yea to distract him for the night so I can pay a visit to Gregory. Get him to put out more than we’ve been asking from the Hilltop”

“Thought Negan only wanted certain items on a monthly basis”

“Things are changing. I wanna prove to him I am much more useful as a right hand than just a messenger”

“What’s in it for me?” Y/N tilted her head curious as to what Simon is willing to do for her.

Then a few hours passed, Y/N tripped the doc in the common area on her way to her and Negan’s shared room. To her surprise he was already there waiting for her.

“Darling, how was the—-“

“Believe me when I say I’m fine next time. Don’t need that old man checking on me”

“It eases my anxiety, beautiful” Negan laughs rising from the chair to strut over to his woman bringing her into his embrace and kissing her lovingly.

But it only took a second for Y/N to bring more heat to the kiss that Negan instantly matched. He felt her tug at his shirt making him pull away to take his shirt off and before he could kiss her again, Y/N pressed her hand firmly on his chest.

“Lock the door pretty boy” Y/N smirks watching the excitement write itself on his face as he quickly went to the door while she got ready at her speed.

“Fucking love the hormones” Negan whispers to himself while locking the door.

After their fun, the two laid naked under the covers enjoying the quiet as Negan gently rubs his finger tips up and down her bicep while Y/N listens to his heartbeat lying on his chest.

“Baby?”

“Hm?”

“Simon and I were talking…”

“Damn. A full ass conversation with the man that annoys yea? Should I be worried?” Negan teases only for Y/N to side eye him.

“Don’t be funny. I’m trying to be serious here”

“Okay okay, you and Simon talked. About what?”

“What we could do to improve the Sanctuary a bit more than what we’ve already been doing and as much as I fucking hate it, Simon can take initiative” Y/N shifted a bit to get more comfortable on Negan as she brought her hand to rest on her belly. “I’ve been told I gotta take it easy. Even if I really want to check out our outposts”

“Mmm…I’ll hear Simon out, but if he don’t pitch it right—-“

“Thats on his bitchass. But it can work. Amongst other things. Like a goddamn garden would be nice” Y/N started to trail as her mind tended to do that more during the pregnancy, trail before inevitably blank. Which happened then before she remembered as she carefully sat up letting her man enjoy the naked view for a moment while she left the bed.

Negan sat up watching her go to her pile of clothes on the ground carefully crouching to grab her jeans. “Yea sure I can fully trust Simon with this?”

“Yeah. I’m sure. Trust me, baby…I would rather be your right hand and taking care of business. But things be changing. Especially with this” Y/N returned to the bed handing Negan a series of photos. The printing option in the ultrasound machine was old but it still got a few good pictures of their bean. “All that matters is that we’re safe for him”

“Him? Huh?!” Negan smiles wide before instantly wrapping his arms around his girl listening to her laugh as she tried to get comfortable. “We’re having a boy?! How can yea even tell on this damn thing?!”

His excitement eased her worries about her pregnancy as it all hit her realizing she’s about to have a baby in the apocalypse. Anything could happen.

Simon was called into the conference room the next day to discuss his plan with Negan and a few others to help his proceed with such. All while Y/N stood in an empty room close to the room she shared with Negan as she was given it to make into the nursery. It’s not Simon’s fault that Negan is busy…he’s been doing a lot for the Sanctuary. He has three communities to look after, he’s taken out the others. There’s the few outposts needing monitoring every now and then. Then of course the meet ups, the collection, and the prisoner system.

Leaving her alone to take care of getting it prepared. Amongst dealing with the mentality as the time gets closer…

Third Trimester

Simon quickly dodged the glass thrown at his head when he went to check on Y/N as a request from Negan who was currently busy.

“You’re a crazy bitch”

“And you’re a bald one. What do you want?”

“Negan asked—-“

“Nope. Get the fuck out” Y/N frowns looking away from the door knowing he’s most likely still there which led her to grabbing her canteen and tossing it in his direction. “If he asked why doesn’t—-

“I’m here! I’m here. Clearly sending Simon to yea wasn’t gonna work” Negan laughs patting Simon on the shoulder before giving him a glare for the man to leave immediately as his features relaxed turning back to his wife. “So, how are yea feeling?”

“How am I feeling? I’m stuck on bedrest and everything still hurts”

“You fell not that long ago. Makes sense that shit still hurts” Negan brought himself to her side of the bed sitting on the edge. “And you shouldn’t throw shit at Simon for checking on yea for me——“

“No! I’ll do what I want. Even if that means almost hurting the fucking moron helping the other moron for not checking on his damn wife himself.“ Y/N scoffs turning away from Negan as the later she was in the pregnancy the more prone to tears she was compared to the other way around.

“Yknow what, give me five” Negan got up leaving the room as Y/N grabbed another thing to throw at Simon if he comes in his place.

But right before Y/N could launch the book she grabbed, Negan was the one to come back with his hands up.

“Jesus Christ woman”

“Why’d you leave?!”

“To hand off my duties to fucking Simon. Just until everything is situated. Alright?” Situated meaning…til the baby is out and a few months.

It was a lot to give to Simon. Not that he minded, not that it was gonna matter.

“This room is small”

“What do you mean? It’s the biggest room in the facility?”

“Okay well I’m a huge ugly monster that takes up most the room. So if you don’t move, I will push you over”

“For the record, I think you’re beautiful” Negan smiles kissing Y/N’s cheek as she was trying to leave the room after being given the ok to walk. She smacked him in the chest in a more playful manner even with the intense force behind it. “You shouldn’t do anythin’ crazy. I’m not helicoptering around you for you to end up falling again”

“I fell without you around so whose fault is that?” Y/N suddenly stops in her tracks, blankly staring as Negan quickly moved over the bed bringing himself in front of her.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Is it the baby? Are you—-“

“Jesus” Y/N patted his cheek before continuing onto what she was doing. “Just forgot what else I was gonna say”

“Holy shit woman. You’re gonna be the death of me”

“Good!” She shouted already have left the bedroom that it just now registered to Negan that she did. He quickly—-not by much—caught up to Y/N as she continues down the hall to the next room.

“Where are yea taking me, darling?”

“To something we should’ve done together but I gave up that thought halfway through doing it. You found everything I just had to organize it” Y/N stated as she pushes open the door to the nursery moving out of her partner’s way to check the place out himself.

Negan stood there for a while, stuck in his own thought as Y/N gave him a concerned look when he hasn’t said anything.

“I uh. Missed out on too much didn’t I?” Negan questions, not being given an immediate answer as he brought himself to hold her face carefully in his hands. “I promise yea darling. I won’t miss anymore of this life we’re making”

“You better, Smith.” Y/N instantly jabbed his side making him laugh along with her as she grabs at his leather jacket pulling him down to her level kissing him. “Goddamnit” she gasped when parting from her partner as he gently lifted her chin to look at him but she instantly smacked his hand away. “Fuck me”

“Well not in here but—-“ Negan’s smirk instantly fell when Y/N pushed him back. “Okay. What’s happening??”

“I’m fucking popping” Y/N frowns as the discomfort grew on her face resulting in the panic to finally set in for her man.

“Holy SHIT. FUCK! IM GONNA BE A DAD” Negan screams pulling away to get into the hallway to yell at a Savior to get the doctor while Y/N smacks him on the back on her way past him, wobbling her way back to their room. “We should go to—-“

“I won’t make it to the fucking infirmary”

“Alright well let me carry yea—-“

“YOU TOUCH ME NOW AND I BITE YOUR FUCKING DICK OFF” Y/N snapped, obviously not wanting to be touched at the moment as she continued on her way with Negan following quickly.

This was going to be a long couple hours

Or so she thought

“You’re doing so great hun” Negan reassures brushing the hair sticking to her face from the sweat as her whole body fought against her with the contractions. Making everything hotter was one thing.

“Fuck off” Y/N groans throwing her head back against his chest as he rubs smoothly strokes up and down her arm even if she couldn’t focus on the feeling.

A fucking human was ripping her in half and that was all she focused on. Until—-

“I see the head” the doctor informed also meaning it was getting close but Y/N wasn’t having it.

“I can’t…Please I just can’t” Y/N sobbed in pain as her body shook from all the agony her body was enduring. “I can’t anymore”

“Darling…the pain will pass once our son is here. Just breathe and hold onto me” Negan reassures feeling her hands grip onto his hands on either side of her as she took a few deep breaths.

“I would be careful with the next push so you don’t tea—-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HELP GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME” Y/N hissed at the doc one last time as she felt a contraction come on leading her to finally push.

The pain will pass once our son is here

And it did.

Y/N never seen the man cry as much as he did right then and there while his son was gently placed in her arms. Oh he’s so perfect she thought as the sobs filled the room which was left to them once everything was okay again.

She didn’t want to let go of their baby boy even when Negan argued that she carried him for nine months. She held him close and protectively until the exhaustion finally got to her, leading her to finally let her son be held by his father.

“He’s so perfect” Y/N smiles tiredly resting her eyes as Negan gently kisses her forehead letting her sleep.

Negan was still feeling every overwhelmed feeling in his chest as the tears kept falling when he looked at his son.

“I won’t let anything happen to you…ever, Max”

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #negan smith fanfiction #negan smith #negan smith x reader

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dilfprayers · 3 months

Note

okay oaky kay THAT FIC WAS SO GOOD holy shit but i thinkk its more non-con than dubcon bc reader doesnt enjoy it even till the end 🙁

also my guess on why leon & readers mom divorced is probably bc he mightve said readers name while jerking off or whateva and got caught JFKSJFN thats the first thing that came into my mind when reading it

ahh right i have to change the label, i forgot omgg 😭😭😭😭

also AHH!! im so certain he kept thinking about what reader said and it came out of him randomly guh-

know what! im writing under this, im treating you guys :3.

tw; incest

Maybe he was starting to second guess what you said and slowly acted upon those thoughts.

He sat there in the bedroom, glancing out the window as she saw you heading out to start your day. He had a slight smile but would frown when he didn't even get to 'bye, have a good day!'

Whatever, right?

He leans back in bed, laying there quietly. His wife was off shopping and now it was just him. What was there to do? Nothing much..

"A couple hours till they both get back..Alright.. Cool, cool. I can just relax."

He spoke out to himself, remaining there as he let his body sink into the mattress. That was obviously short-lived once he started to get into his head about what you said. Now it was weird, yeah totally — But he had put some thought into it. You had felt a certain way and he was the reason.

"But why.."

He mutters to himself, glancing down to his pants. A tent- Wait, huh? He stares wide eyed, feeling it throb the whole time in his pajama pants. This was weird timing, considering what was on his mind. He shook his head, ignoring it for now and went back to his thoughts.

"Angel, why..."

He mutters again, shifting only a tiny bit but the fabric of the blanket rubbed against him, making his breath hitch. He squinted his eyes, gazing down to his pants.

Oh, fuck it.

Why did he even dare to do this? He didn't exactly know himself. He just wanted to space out after that conversation. It was tension filled and had him stressed a bit. He soon tugged off his pants and boxers, letting his cock spring out. Precum was already pooling from it while he just stared at it. Eventually he groaned quietly, proceeding onwadd as he held his cock in his hand, starting to pump his cock.

"I just want to know...Why.."

He groans, lightly arching up — His hand trembling while he's jerking himself off. A rose tinted blush formed on his face the longer he thought about it. Actually, he was thinking of you.

"Gh- Fuck...I want to know."

He breathed out, quietly huffing as he let his thumb brush along the tip. His cock overall throbbed in his grasp while he felt the precum ooze over his fingers. He was zoning out and letting go completely.

"Fuck.. If only you were home.. I'd-"

He hisses, not even realizing what he was saying to himself anymore. His heart started to race as he kept on pumping, eventually grabbing his pillow. Filthy, filthy man.. He set it up in a hurry and started to thrust into the pillow. His breathing growing heavier, feeling a much better sensation.

"—...Mm- Wanna make you actually feel something cause of me.."

He breathes out loudly. His groans filled the bedroom as his hips were crashing with the pillow. It didn't take long for him to start moaning your name.

Yeah, your name.

He repeated it, over and over again until cum was all over the pillow. He stared down at the pillow — His hair dangling over his face. He was breathless but so was his wife who stood at the doorway with a wide eyed expression.

#✉️ — mail #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #🕊️ — drabs #woahh aftermath of last fic

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kanmom51 · 8 months

Text

JM live 1 September 2023 20:54 or 8:54 pm KST

And a little big about JK's same day live as well.

Part 2

Cr./To creators of content used in this post.

I'm going to dive right in.

Also, not everything I talk about is in the order it's brought up in the live. Just saying. These are ramblings of a blurry mind. Well, sharp and blurry. Just the right combination I say.

Let's talk about the apartment tour, lol.

JM, the master of privacy.

The man that wouldn't even show us his TV, only a cropped screenshot of it when congratulating JK on Dreamers.

The man that over the past close to 2 years since the hiatus, has done every live but one (the Billboard #1) from the company.

Yes, that man.

He not only went live from home (unplanned, which I discussed partially and will probably talk about again later on), from a room we got to see in his previous single home live, but he actually gave us a house tour. Well, somewhat of a house tour. A house ceiling tour with a couple of exceptions, lol.

This tour is divided into 2 parts.

First part was initiated by JM.

And this is important. Because it differentiates between perhaps more pre-thought of and less pre-thought of (more of a spur of the moment thing).

So, after mentioning JK (and reading out the hand comment) JM thinks of this:

JM wanting to show us his mood lamp. His planet mood light.

You know what I'm talking about, right? The one with that huge ass sun just right in your face.

He tells us how he simply came to meet us today and he has something to brag about.

Now let's wait up a minute.

He simply came to meet us on JK's birthday adorning his big ass watch starting the live at the time stamp JK was born, like time started counting from that minute and on (for him at least), and now he wants to brag about something that his friend laughed at him about (a grown man sleeping with a mood lamp), which happens to have the sun up front and centre, all huge in it's full glory, for him to fall asleep with (me continuing his story: when his bf isn't or can't be there by his side to fall asleep with).

Yep. All of that!

Ok, so JM is walking around, taking us to what is clearly his bedroom, camera at ceiling because his place is too dirty (his words) as he wasn't planning to go live from home (funny how plans change). He repeats it btw. Saying "I really didn't intend to."

Pause a second (we might be doing this more than once today). This is me just going back for a second to that same point I made in part 1. JM was not going to do the live from home. He doesn't say he wasn't going to do a live. He says he wasn't going to do a live form home.

JM takes us to his bedroom.

Who would have believed this day would come?

And if talking about not believing a day will come, perhaps me jumping the gun here, but can't hold back the excitement, what about this coming from JM?

Can't say I'm not shocked.

But then, maybe, just maybe, a little of his bf is rubbing off on him? And maybe, just maybe there is a reason for his sudden openness with us?

Anyway, back to JM's bedroom.

What's this now?

Not sure if he intended for us to see this, but we even got a peak at his bed for a millisecond... shock and awe...

*And kind of a downer for those that thought the snore in the dark was JK sleeping in bed. here is bed. Empty. Made. No JK. I guess you win some you lose some, lol.

Now this is where I got a little confused first time watching this. I actually thought that JM took the lamp from his bedroom to another room so to not be in his bedroom. Cause he sits down, fiddles around with something. Then gets up again and walks around, camera at ceiling (which was very confusing). But watching it a second and third time I think that he was setting the lamp up, connecting it perhaps, and then got up to close all the doors (bedroom door, bathroom door, closet door and who knows what other door) to go dark so we can see the beautiful projection.

And him having to connect the lamp, does it kinda maybe mean that he doesn't use it every night, mainly because who needs to fall asleep looking at the picture of the sun when the sun is right besides you in bed? Food for thought.

This is what he shows us at first.

He then turns the camera around to show other planets. But he always goes back to the sun. And makes sure to explain to us that it is the sun.

And while, once more, focusing on the sun says: "It's pretty, right?"

It definitely is.

And when he does his whole foot up in the air (I don't think he was pointing, because when he wanted to point he did it with his finger, pointing at the sun) caressing or whatever you want to think he was actually doing, it's with the sun.

You know what came to mind first thing I saw this?

JM and his love for playing footsies with JK.

Oh, and if I'm already going down memory lane, we have JK too.

Back to business.

I find it funny how JM on the one hand says multiple times he wanted to brag to us about the lamp, and then says it's embarrassing that a man nearing 30 sleeping with a lamp. And he talks about the friend appalled by it, lol. That a guy who lives alone (he repeats this) sleeps with a lamp. I guess that when you can't have the sun with you then a projection of it on the ceiling has to do.

JM adds: "these days I look at the ceiling and space out" - looks at the lamp projection that is. And when he says "these days", once again I'm thinking of it being due to JK's clearly super busy schedule.

So yeah, that was more or less part one of JM's house tour.

At this point JM turns off the light and walks back to the PC room (still only letting us see the ceiling as he is moving through the house).

He sits back down and tells us he is living his life like this.

He's sitting there reading comments for a few seconds and then he reads this one out:

Welcome to part 2 of the house tour, lol.

He straight away says: "you can see the secret room", grabs the camera and off he goes (again camera at ceiling of course), and asks himself "what are some things I can show?", while obviously there is still very much more that he doesn't want us to see.

He says "I will show just this one then", following by saying he really didn't want to show "my room", and then we are in his gym.

Shows us his treadmill, tells us "this is my secret room...right here."

So, let's pause for a second here before we move on.

JM clearly decided it's time to share with us (without saying it out loud) that he is boxing. A lot. The hands (he left raw for all to see) and showing us his gym as well.

JM has a punching bag at home.

No biggie, right?

He has a full proper gym at home, much like Tae does, and most likely the others too, well most of the others, because JK doesn't. JK, until a short while ago, didn't have any workout equipment at home. Let alone a punching bag. THE boxer in the group does not have a punching bag at home. And do we talk about the fact that all of his workout equipment, the little that he does have, is in his lounge room? I digressed. As usual. Anyway, now we know for sure (as if we didn't before) that JM is clearly boxing, and all that is left to see is his set of boxing gloves.

And then, JM goes to show us his dad's bedroom, for when he visits him. JM asks himself if there is anything he can show us from dad's room, answering "vacuum cleaner".

JM walks out of that last room, he looks around, nods with his head (looked like he was contemplating something but decided on NOPE), and walks back to the PC room.

End of house tour.

While on the way there he tells us how his parents "came over to my house and said this..."your house really has nothing, it's like a model house. It doesn't seem like a person lives here. Do you want us to change a bit?".

Ok, so JM's been living in that apartment at the very latest since May 2021. Over 2 years!! And in that time his parents must have visited multiple times. We know at least of once back in October 2021, so a long time ago. JM isn't telling us when exactly this was said to him, and timing, my friends, is everything. There is a before and an after that might be going on here. And It's kind of curious how at this point in time both JM's place and JK's place are lacking in the feeling of a home in the true sense of it. Lacking in adding their little personal touch to the place. Giving them both, at this point, the feel of these places being a temporary fix. Just until perhaps a certain 5 story house is built.

Do I address the marimo discussion and how it turned into a Suga discussion? Was that JM shutting down Yoonminers? Lol.

JM reads out a comment "I miss Jin and Jhope" and tells us he's thinking of going to visit them.

JM continues to read through the comments and reacts to them, this is around the 29 min. mark. You think the hand comments don't continue again? Like he hasn't addressed it 10 times already during this live. He smiles through it, but seriously!!!!

One comment has him giggling : "In my last dream you went out with me but I got dumped". Lmao. At least they were being realistic. His answer was: "I'm sorry. It wasn't intentional". Ehm, excuse me, but to me dumping feels very intentional. Lol.

One of the most annoying comments, well in my humble opinion, was the one asking him why the chocolate factories have closed. Poor man was waiting and waiting on a reply on that one, so much so he was putting off finishing the live, he was seriously curious, only to have this stupid ass punch line about him being sweet. From the expression on his face when he finally read the answer he was probably thinking "this is what I was waiting for?", lol.

JM's asked about his skin care routine to which he answers: "it's nothing, I just wash up, and I just apply it on my face. Just the cream". Thing is later on as he's closing up he says he has to go wash up but:

Curious.

Didn't he just tell us all about it earlier? Or was this him just being cheeky?

JM tells us he goes for a run in the middle of the night and runs into RM.

Quite interesting that the first time he noticed RM's poster was almost 2 weeks after it was placed there. Especially now that we know from him he's out jogging every night. Was he possibly away for a while? Perhaps not alone?

JM was asked about dramas he's watched and answered he hasn't watched many lately.

I guess JK being busy is the cause for that. We know for a fact that they watch shows together.

Then he's asked "show your 7 tattoos", to which JM answers:

"You saw it yesterday. Photos went up. Really...I saw that...Definitely...I'm an anchovy." giggle giggle giggle. "Anchovy...phew..." giggle..."just laugh at it and move on..."

Lol, I'm sure he's also referring to him standing on his tippie toes for the pose, trying to seem bigger and taller than he is.

Now wait a second here.

The comment asked him to show his 7 tattoos. Not "show your moon tattoo". Not "show your back tattoo". Clear as day talking about his 7 tattoos, and JM was the one to read it out!!!

So, obviously that riske (not really, but clearly an eye opener) photo he posted for JK's birthday was on his mind. Or is it more so that JK is on his mind?

JM's told he needs to sleep well. The man says it's rare, but he actually slept well today. Usually when he has schedules he doesn't sleep well. But:

I guess something, or someone, helped tire him out.

And yes, I can hear the guys on the balcony with the "if he slept so much he couldn't have been with JK". Yeah-nah. Have we not seen these guys schedules? Did I not talk about it in part 1? Night and day are non existent. JM slept 8 to 9 hours and came out - to his schedule, in the evening. These two go to sleep in the morning and wake up at noon. Even in JM's last live, when he was talking about having a proper schedule, including a proper sleep schedule, he was talking about sleeping in late. So no, him sleeping properly doesn't rule out them spending the night together. JM doesn't tell us when he went to sleep or when he woke up. Actually, the way he words it, it's more like he slept till late and woke up in time for his Dior schedule.

Pretty much this was where JM was wanting to end the live.

And starts to sum it up.

After a few more comments JM winds it up saying his goodbyes.

And that was the end of JM's live on JK 's birthday.

Oh, btw, remember I said that when I first saw JM's live photo I mistook it for JK? How those pants seemed a little big on him? Well came across this today:

I'm not 100% sold those are the exact pair of pants, but they sure look similar. And even if they aren't same pants, well my point in part 1 was proven - the pants being exactly the style that JK wears.

I had one more thing I wanted to talk about, which I'm not sure about, but thought it would be good to mention.

About the 12 minute mark JM is talking about taking lessons in English. And he was saying it's hard but he has to force himself to do it, cause otherwise he won't do it. And then he talks about how people get lazy and gives an example. And here is where I found something a little curious. There I go with that word again.

The word of the day: Curious.

Anyway, JM gives an example. And he words it like this:

"You know there is this. I came home as it is like this... It's 9:07... I think that I should wash up at 9:30... But we don't wash up... And later, when it's 1 in the morning... I should really wash up. To sleep...I must wash up. You also know this happens".

And he's giggling the whole time.

Did you notice? The switch from I to we?

Now, it could be him talking about him and us, but I kind of don't think it was, as he starts with I and goes to we and then back to I.

It could also definitely be a slip of the tongue.

You know who the we he might be talking about is. That plus one that turns I to we. That certain plus one that has told us on multiple occasions how he dislikes to wash up before sleep, delaying the inevitable as much as possible, also using that term lazy with regards to it.

Just thought I'd share this little thing I notices with you guys before I finish up with this post.

I feel like this part of my post is a little more all over the place (a bit like JM perhaps, lol). Maybe a little too much blurry and not enough sharp, lol. But hey, I guess it is what it is.

So, we had JK doing the short live nothing like his usual birthday lives, and then later in the day JM coming live, unplanned. Well more so unplanned from home. Could they have been planning to do a live together at Hybe? Could JK have been planning to and asked JM to go live in his place seeing he's held up?

Who knows.

What I do hope is that next time it's not going to be the two live on the same day, but rather the two live same day same time same place.

Here's wishing.

#Jimin #JM live #Jungkook #JK #JK birthday #JK birthday 2023 #Jikook #kookmin #Minkook

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bigtreefest · 19 days

Text

Chapter 6: Missing Someone

From: Bigger Houses Series

Pairing: Mountain Ranger! Ari x Reader

Summary: It’s time to tell all and talk about each other’s pasts

Word Count: 2,417

Content/Warnings: ANGST, kissing, use of pet names, no-good exs, crying and near-crying, miscommunication but it’s resolved

Author’s Note: I was gonna make it bad, but then I realized, it’s not like this couple to have a huge blowout fight and misunderstanding. They’re too good at talking it out.

Shoutout to my childhood friend I visited last week for helping me write this. He won’t read it, but I appreciate him indulging my thought process. Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are sooooo welcome and appreciated!!

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Below is the song which inspired this chapter. It makes me very sad tbh. I skip it a lot when listening.

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You and Ari were going to build a new dresser in your bedroom. It had been nearly six months of being together officially. Your old furniture was breaking down already, so the two of you had gone shopping. Ari insisted he was just going so that he could provide his truck for hauling it, but you knew that wasn’t the case when he turned down the first three you liked.

“No, that one won’t match the wood grains of your cabin.”

“What’s the material on that one? Pressed composite? No good.”

“Sure Duchess, that one could work…if you’re blind.”

You rolled your eyes at that last one,

holding back a laugh. Sure, those were valid reasons, but any minor criticism was something you took personally. He didn’t even live with you! Finally, you’d gotten him to agree to a nice, subtle piece that complemented your bed frame without clashing against the rest of the cabin. The only issue was, you had to build it.

Once the two of you had gotten home from the furniture store, you were exhausted. Not only from the shopping, but from long drive since you had to go to the nearest city with hopes of finding anything good.

After eating dinner, you and Ari settled on the couch together, cuddling to catch up on the show you two were binging at the moment. Sure, you usually preferred to do things away from screens, but sometimes, there was nothing that could replace classic, trashy TV. The dresser could wait. Ari was laying on his back and you were laying directly on top of him, ear over his steady heartbeat until you drifted to sleep.

You began to stir awake and stretch when you realized the TV wasn’t playing anymore. Strong hands stroked your back and your eyelids fluttered open. Your sleepy pupils sparkled and dilated as you moved your chin to Ari’s chest to see him looking down at you the same way, him not even realizing the way he smiled when you were within this eye sight.

“Well good morning handsome.” Your voice was full of sleep.

“Good morning.” Ari leaned forward to kiss your nose as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Looks like it really is morning. 2:47 am.”

You hummed in response. “I think we kinda threw off our sleep schedule with what was supposed to be a nap.”

Ari nodded and laughed. “Oh definitely. But now we’ve got all this time to be productive. You wanna build that dresser?”

You groaned and threw your head into his chest, smushing it your nose and mouth. “Yeah, I guess so.”

You groaned and sighed before your muffled voice came out against his pecs again. “Lemme go pee first.”

You pushed off of Ari’s chest, causing him to exhale most of the air in his lungs with a laugh before he watched you scurry to the bathroom.

Ari got up and walked toward your room to get started on the dresser while he waited for you. Just as he sat on the floor straddling the instructions and some spare parts, he heard a buzzing coming from the nightstand, lighting up your dim bedroom.

“Duchess, your phone is ringing.” He yelled out the bedroom door.

“You can get it. I’ll be out soon. It could be important since they’re calling this time of night.” He heard your faint response.

With a groan, Ari stood up again and took the few large strides towards your nightstand, picking up the phone off the charger. The number wasn’t saved.

“Hello?”

“Hey, is that you? I miss you s’much. You should come over.” A man slurred from the other side of the line.

Ari was confused. He knew the area code of the phone number wasn’t from around here, but who was this man and why was he calling at this hour?

“Who is this?” Ari gritted out the words. He was beginning to feel something. There was anger, there was frustration. He was hurt that this seemed like something that was kept from him. The man on the other side of the line continued to call out your name.

“It’s me. It’s Oscar. Where are you? My bed’s cold.”

That got Ari. It hit him where it hurts and he felt a pang in his chest. He hung up the phone and stalked over to the bathroom where you were washing your hands as his hands shook. You hadn’t looked up yet.

“Hey Bear, was it anything important?” You were met with silence, only Ari’s heavy breathing and the sound of running water filling the air. When he finally spoke up, you could hear a near-growl in his voice.

“Who is Oscar?” Your head darted up and your wide eyes met his through the mirror. You shut off the water, dried your hands, and turned around.

“He’s no one. No one that we should be concerned about, anyway. Why did he call?”

You could see the worry on Ari’s brow and the tears that threatened to fill his reddening eyes. “He said his bed was cold. He misses you. Is there something I don’t know?”

You broke your gaze with Ari, looking at your shifting feet on the cool floor while you fiddled with your fingertips. You took a deep breath and a step towards Ari, surprised by him taking a step back. He’d been hurt before and he didn’t need it coming from you, too. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at his distance.

“Oscar is my ex. I should’ve known it would be him calling at this hour.” Ari’s look of hurt took on even more emotion; it was his turn to be confused.

“So he calls you often at this time of night? When I’m not around? And you don’t tell me? Do you always pick it up?”

You shook your head, reaching out to Ari, glad that this time he let your set your hands on his waist.

“No.” You whispered back, your watery gaze meeting his. “I know you and I have been a little private with our pasts, but I think it’s time we tell each other everything.”

Ari nodded as you followed him to the couch. A place where you two had just had your bodies pressed together found you sitting on opposite ends, your legs criss-crossed in front of you and Ari’s long legs out to the side. You weren’t touching at all as you pulled a pillow up against your chest for comfort and took a deep breath, preparing to start.

You told Ari everything. All about the relationship. The expectations, the lies, the late night phone calls, the broken promises, the new girl after the breakup. He nodded along, keeping a mostly level face, although he maintained a mild layer of disgust. How could someone so awful keep you for so long? You were too good for Oscar. Heck, Ari thought to himself, you were too good for him, too. But he would spend the rest of his life becoming better for you if he had to.

As Ari was taking it all in, you continued on. “Mostly during the relationship, but even for a few months after, he would still call me late at night. It’s been over a year since the last time. I honestly thought he would’ve forgotten all about me by now. I don’t have his contact saved anymore. Something must’ve happened, though. But it’s not my problem. He was always whiskey drunk and saying he missed me, just like this time, but I knew that wasn’t the case.”

You looked up at Ari. He seemed like he was beginning to understand. “When we were dating, I fell for it. I fell for all the sweet, yearning things he would say, and I’d come over. We’d dance down the hallway and fall into his bed. We’d lay there and talk, well, it was almost always him doing the talking and lying until the sun came up. I really lost my voice over that whole thing.”

Ari felt such deep sadness for you. His favorite thing was when you would talk passionately about something random or speak your mind against the popular opinion. To hear that someone took that away, someone didn’t appreciate you and your amazing qualities, made him want to scream. His jaw clenched and he kept his silence, grateful for the full insight on your life. If Ari ever met Oscar, well, who knows what would happen to that punk?

Your voice began to break as you sniffled. “I know he wasn’t trying to hurt me, or break my heart, but I felt used. Like I was a late night lonely drug. I know he thought he loved me, and he would say that I was all he wanted, but I think he just wanted someone. At one point, I wished that I was that one he wanted, but I think a part of me always knew I wasn’t.”

Ari had crept closer again over the duration of your story. He pulled you in tight to his chest and rubbed your back as you wept, tears staining his old t-shirt. He had no idea how someone so awful could bring down someone so amazing, so angelic. You were everything. The sun rose and and set on you for Ari.

He pulled away and set his eyes deeply on yours, his hands holding your fingers. “I’m so sorry, Angel. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You deserve the world. Anyone who can’t see that was never worthy to even be in your presence.” He kissed your forehead and your eyes gently closed at the gesture as a soft smile graced your face again at his true, genuine sweetness.

“You are the world. You’re my world, and I’m going to spend as long as I have to so you can see how much you mean to me. Every day, I’m going to do everything I can to give you the love you deserve. To show you just how much I really, truly, honestly love you.”

You sat there, mouth agape in shock. There it was. That was the first time either of you had dared to say the L-word to each other. It wasn’t haphazardly thrown out there as a last-ditch effort to stay. It wasn’t overused and thin. It was heavy, it was intentional, and it was true. It carried such a weight to it, but your were sure Ari wouldn’t have dropped it had he not meant the word with his whole soul.

You felt it too, though. That was the part that astounded you. There was no other person who you believed could ever hold a place so fitting for the word love. There was only Ari.

“I love you, too.” You spoke firmly, gazing into his bright blue eyes, lit up extra from his beaming smile. His hand moved up to your cheek and he leaned in for a kiss. His soft lips met yours as your tongues danced together. There was no greed, no rush. Just love.

When you pulled away, you rested your foreheads against each other. You sighed and giggled. “While I’m out here being honest. I feel like there’s something else I should tell you.”

Ari’s head tilted to the side, confused on what other bombshell you could be hiding. The truth was, you had never been completely forthright with your thoughts.

“Did I do something to make you feel like you couldn’t be honest with me before?” You could hear the wavering in his tone. After such a vulnerable moment, what else could be coming?

“No, no, that’s not at all what’s going on. It’s just…ugh….” You were beginning to grow frustrated with yourself. There was so much you kept locked inside as a result of how Oscar hurt you. You were elated it was coming out for Ari to see. He deserved to know every side of you, but words were hard to formulate in the right way.

“I’m sorry. I want to communicate more openly with you. But it’s scary. I thought when you found out about everything with Oscar, you’d judge me for it. You’d look at me differently.” He shook his head, about to speak up before you cut him off.

“I want to be able to explain it all fully. I should’ve told you all this sooner. I knew once I gave you everything, it would lock me in. It would have solidified everything in a way we can’t come back from. You knowing all the details of my life. I didn’t want it to blow up, because I knew if it did, I would never recover. If I’m being honest, I was so scared to give it all over to you because I’ll never get it back.”

Ari’s blew out a puff of air, processing your words. He simply nodded, allowing you to finish. He completely understood where you were coming from. To trust someone so deeply again after pain like that was the scariest thing he could think of, and he was going through it, too. He was just glad you did trust him. Because he’d give you everything you deserved and more in a heartbeat. The two of you weren’t locked in to anything bad at all, you were just securing yourselves in something you already knew.

After all the heaviness, you made an attempt to lighten the mood. “And, I think you should know, I’m completely capable of assembling a dresser by myself. There are just some times I ask you for help because I want to spend time with you. Not because I need it.”

You winked and Ari heartily laughed in response. “Is that also why you asked me if I needed help cooking dinner last week?”

It was your turn to laugh, throwing you head back before pulling it forward and shaking it back and forth. “No. Sometimes I offer help because I can’t stand to watch as you do something wrong.”

Ari playfully rolled his eyes and pulled you in close for one of his signature bear hugs. He spoke into your hair. “Well, I’m just happy you keep me around. And I’m always happy to do whatever, right by your side, like a true partner. I love you.”

You both inhaled each other’s scents deeply. “I love you, too.”

When you pulled away, Ari opened up and told you everything about his past, too.

Next >

Bonus A/N: reverence is rare and lies are plentiful

Series Taglist:

@patzammit

@hawkeyes-queen

@identity2212

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takecareluv · 2 years

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Hi!! I was wondering if you could write an imagine where the reader is dating Vinnie and is super positive and nice to everyone, but people tend to take advantage of her so Vinnie and her friends get protective of her when people try to take advantage of her kindness. My friends are really protective of me and thought that would be so cute! Thank you so much!! 💕

a.n. hi!! i’m sorry this took me so long to get out. i had started this before i left for vacation but never had the chance to finish it. i hope you like what i came up with! i loved this concept, thank you for sending it in <3 this is something i relate to so much, so writing it and having someone like vinnie be so protective over the reader is just 🥺🥺 i want that, please universe. i’m begging

sweetheart || vinnie hacker x reader

it was a known fact that you were an extremely positive person, and nine times out of ten, the kindest person in the room.

vinnie and the rest of your friends absolutely adored you for it. you were the sunshine they needed when times were tough. aiding them with a shoulder to cry on when need be, and the best advice anyone could ever give.

vinnie always swore you were an angel sent from heaven above.

while your friends never took your love and kindness for granted, there were a lot of others that did. people could clock your sweetness from a mile away, and in a place like l.a., they became greedy using you for it.

you didn't notice it as much, always wanting to see the best in people. but those closest to you, especially vinnie for that matter, would immediately detect when someone was taking advantage of your kindhearted ways and get super protective.

being in the influencer space, everyone and their mothers was searching for the next best clickbait to use on their upcoming posts. whether it was a person, scandal, or simply just a trendy product, nothing was off the table. you watched a lot of people lose their morals when given an ounce of fame.

with you and vinnie deemed the internet’s favorite couple, you had been receiving quite a bit of attention that other creators either envied, or saw as money signs. everyone knew a glimpse of you in their newest tiktok or vlog would gain them millions of views and a few extra bucks.

you didn’t like filming with those outside of your inner circle because of how shy and overwhelmed you got around new faces. but, being the people pleaser you were, you couldn’t say no when more and more creators coincidentally started asking you to collab.

you didn’t mind at first, it actually wasn’t as scary as you thought it would be and the people were nice enough.

you didn’t take notice to how much of a toll these collabs were taking on your mental health, thinking you were just tired due to the long filming hours you weren’t well acquainted with. but vinnie noticed. he saw how mentally drained you were each and every night coming home from filming with yet another “friend”. he clocked how little energy you had to do anything other than sleep. he had never seen you so unlike yourself, and he knew the exact reason behind it.

* ࣪. ⋆ ✧ ﾟ: * ♡ * : ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪ ♡ ࣪.* ࣪ ⋆ ✧ ﾟ: * ♡ * : ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.*

the following morning, he heard you moving around the room earlier than ever before. the sun was barely up, where could you possibly have to go? he thought to himself.

“baby, what are you doing up so early? come back to bed.” he grumbled, making grabby hands towards you.

“i can’t vin. i have to go meet (influencer name). she has a bunch of stuff to do today so this was the only time she could film.”

ah of course, yet another person making you form to their schedule, not even bothering to ask how that worked for you. not that it mattered, you were to sweet to ever mutter the word “no” to anyone.

he could hear the grogginess in your voice, you were exhausted. not to mention the bags under your eyes that not even layers of concealer could hide. he hated what you were doing to yourself. no, he hated what your so called friends were making you do this to yourself, clearly taking advantage of your kindness, although you would never see it that way.

he made his way out of your shared bed, quickly throwing on a pair of pants and a hoodie that had been previously discarded on the floor the night before.

you watched him confused. “vin what are you doing? go back to sleep, it’s early and you look tired.”

he dismissed your request, grabbing his keys and wallet from the bedside table before heading towards the door. “i’m coming with you.”

“what? vin you don’t have to do that. it’ll be boring,” you paused before continuing, “i mean don’t get me wrong, i would love for you to come but you should stay here and sleep. i don’t want you to be tired for stream later.” you attempted to counter, but vinnie already had his mind made up and nothing you could say would change that.

“it’s fine, baby. if i go, i can help anywhere you need and then we can come home sooner and both get some rest.” plus he could stand up for you against whatever entitled youtuber you would be filming beside today, but he of course wouldn’t admit that part out loud.

* ࣪. ⋆ ✧ ﾟ: * ♡ * : ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪ ♡ ࣪.* ࣪ ⋆ ✧ ﾟ: * ♡ * : ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.*

an hour later vinnie was sat quietly fuming while he watched you be bossed around by a girl he didn’t even bother to remember’s name.

“ugh, i forgot to grab the mic. can you go get it for me y/n? it’s in the other room.”

“i think the camera is too close. can you move it back for me?” “…a little closer than that.”

“wait this isn’t my good side, switch with me?”

the demands went on and on, you obliging to every last one of them.

vinnie was trying hard to hold back from screaming at this girl for taking advantage of you. he knew the cameras were rolling and the last thing he needed was for this girl to edit the footage, making vinnie look like the bad guy and ultimately getting more clickbait and money off the couple, just like she was desperate for.

so he remained quiet, hoping things would cool off once you began filming. however, that ended up being far from the truth.

every last question the girl asked you for the video was about your relationship with vinnie, some of which were very much intruding and personal. vinnie could tell you were growing more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

he knew how insecure you felt about people only ever caring about you for your relationship and connection to tiktok’s favorite boy, never bothering to ask about you or your own career.

he couldn’t watch this any longer.

abruptly standing up, which caught the attention of both you and the bitch girl sitting next to you, he grabbed your hand, pulling you up and out of the room to leave immediately.

“what the hell? where are you going?” the girl yelled.

vinnie switched the camera off before responding. “i’ve been sitting here all morning watching you boss around my girlfriend like you don’t have perfectly capable arms and legs to do shit for yourself if you just got off your lazy ass for once. and i’m sorry but i am not going to let that fly. y/n doesn’t owe you anything. in fact she did this as a favor to you considering you were the one begging for a collab. so i don’t know who you think you are treating her like she’s your fucking slave or something. and if you had any decency, you would realize everything you were asking her was clearly making her uncomfortable. you do know she is her own person right? there is so much more to her than our relationship. and if you can’t realize that, then you don’t get to use her for your own “clout” or whatever it is your after.”

the silence following vinnie’s rant was so loud, you could hear a pin drop.

the girl in front of you looked shocked, almost like she was on the verge of tears. clearly she was used to always getting her way and no one ever speaking to her in such a tone, no matter how many times she probably deserved it.

you stared at vinnie in awe. deep down you knew everything he said was true and you appreciated how he instantly came to your defense, saying everything you were too nice to even think, not caring who’s feelings he hurt as long as his girl was protected.

you could tell his mind was running a million miles per minute so you hastily dragged him out of there before he absolutely lost his shit on the girl, knowing it was soon coming.

once you made it out of the apartment and to vinnie’s car, you paused, pulling him to stand in front of you, seeing the anger still present on his face.

you tilted your head up to face him, moving your hands to stroke his cheeks, feeling him visibly relax at your touch. “breathe, baby, i need you to breathe for me. everything’s okay. i’m okay, i promise. i just need you to relax.” you spoke softly, trying to further calm him.

he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. “i’m sorry i yelled, i know how much you hate that. it’s just, it made me so angry seeing the way she was treating you, baby. you don’t deserve that. is this how it always is when you film with these people?” he questioned, worried that this was something you had to go through on the daily and he was only just now doing something about it.

you only nodded in response, tears flooding from your eyes, embarrassed that you constantly let everyone walk all over you. ashamed that you could never speak up for yourself, and most likely never would have if vinnie didn’t do it for you.

“fuck. i’m so sorry, baby. you shouldn’t of had to go through all that. i saw how drained you were, i should have been there sooner, said something sooner.”

“it’s not your fault, vin. you have no reason to apologize. i should have spoken up for myself. i don’t know why i can’t do it, i had ever reason to say something, but every time i would get too scared. like i would hurt their feelings, but instead i just let them hurt mine. i’m embarrassed that you even had to see that. god, i’m such a wimp.”

“hey, hey, hey. don’t get down on yourself for that. it only means that your a better, kinder person than they could ever be, okay? you are by far the sweetest person i have ever met and that is one of the reasons i love you. don’t ever think of that as a fault. the fact that you can stay this sweet amongst all the evil of this city and this industry is an amazing thing. never forget that, darling.” vinnie reassured you.

he looked down at you with so much love in his eyes, you knew everything he was saying was honest. and you fell deeper in love with him for it.

“thank you, vin. i love you so much.”

“not as much as i love you, sweetheart.”

#vinnie hacker x y/n #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie hacker x you #vinnie hacker blurb #vinnie hacker fanfic #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker

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fredwkong · 8 months

Text

The Prep Watch

When you first came home wearing the Prep Watch, we laughed about it. You were even the one who coined the name. You’d been at work downtown, busking and selling your punk CDs, when some preppy white boy in a Ralph Lauren polo and chinos ran up to you and smacked a Rolex or something onto your wrist.

You looked like the last person who would wear a Rolex. Every bare bit of skin was covered in tattoos, to the point that it was hard to tell you had Hispanic heritage. You had piercings all over your face and body, and you kept your hair in a neon pink mohawk. You covered up your skinny frame with heavily patched jackets and loose, distressed jeans. As the epitome of a punk, such a fancy watch stuck out like a sore thumb.

We laughed about it for a bit, and then I took a closer look. It was nice, probably gold-plated at least. “Dude, you should totally pawn it,” I told you. Our finances were…precarious, to say the least. Pawning something like this would cover, like, a week’s worth of groceries.

But you looked down and furrowed your pierced eyebrows. “I dunno,” you said, suddenly sounding far away. “I mean. It looks nice, right?”

“Definitely,” I said, assuming that would be the end of it.

But when you hopped into bed next to me that night, the Prep Watch was still on your wrist.

By the next week, it was definitely really weird. I mean, you only took the watch off to shower. But when I told you that you were being strange, you just said, “Yeah, but it looks nice, right?”

It was like living with a pod person.

I bet you thought I wouldn’t notice when you switched underwear. It was such a subtle difference, trading Walmart boxers for those fancy boxer briefs. But, I mean, I tidy the bedroom. I saw the patterns in the underwear drawer. At the time, I thought it was sort of cute. A hard-ass punk wearing underwear with a cuddly duckling pattern on it.

Little did I know.

It probably felt like temptation, the desires you were experiencing as you kept on wearing the watch. You’d be out in the city, busking the afternoon away, watching all those preppy city boys walk past in their pastel sweaters and fancy slacks. Knowing that underneath all your gear and piercings, right on top of your tattoos and your Prince Albert, you were wearing the same underwear. Did you miss any notes? Did your voice crack as you lusted over some fucking preps?

I was so confused when I found some of your more obvious piercings in the bathroom trash bin. You loved your nose rings, and we’d gotten our helix piercings together. Hearing you say that they just weren’t your thing anymore made me feel like slapping you.

I considered leaving you, you know. I could have walked out that day and left you at the mercy of whatever fucking bullshit was happening to you. But at that point, I had the crazy idea in my head that this wasn’t you. It was the Prep Watch that was doing this to you. So, like an idiot, I stayed, and tried to come up with a way to get that damn Rolex off your wrist.

One day, you came home and told me you’d gotten a corporate job. “May as well use that Economics degree,” you said, even though we’d burned our diplomas together a couple years ago. When you said, “It’s just until my music picks up,” I think we both knew you were lying, but I nodded anyway. Under your leather jacket, I could see you were wearing a polo shirt.

The next day, you got your hair cut. You hadn’t been maintaining your mohawk anyway, but it was a shock when you got home with a head of short brown curls. For some reason, it looked like it was growing in blond at the roots.

By that point, did you already hate your own music? You kept busking once or twice a week for a month longer. I think it was just for appearances. When we went out to gigs, I noticed your smile was kind of tight, like you were just there for my sake. The only times I saw you really grin anymore was when you were putting on your damn work shirts or staring at that fucking Prep Watch. I swear, you got a boner in your stupid preppy boxer briefs whenever you looked at that thing. “It looks nice, right?” you said to me, admiring the watch on your wrist under your cufflinks.

I couldn’t get the watch away from you. You only took it off to shower, and we’d stopped showering together. I bet you’d taken out all your body piercings already. Christ, they probably came off before your visible piercings, trying to hide it from me. What kind of a boyfriend— Whatever. What you were really hiding was probably how cleanly all your piercings had healed.

Yeah, don’t give me that shit about good wound care. I know what a healed over piercing looks like, and your lip has never been pierced. I mean, I know the watch is magic now. Your tattoos were fading even before you went and got them lasered off. I saw the disgust on your face every time you looked at your neck tatts in the mirror. No man’s skin gets pale like yours got. Everything cleared up.

Do you like being so much smaller? Softer? You used to be lanky and lean, now you look short, soft. Pastel. How many fucking pastel clothes can one man own? Pants, shirts, sweaters, socks, hats, fucking pastel purses! Man bags, what the fuck ever. Just a little curly-haired blond prep with perfect white teeth and a perfect little office job. Do your coworkers even know about what you used to be? They probably think you’re about twenty, with that boyish look on your clean-shaven face.

You really wanted to go to the carnival, and, I mean, you were paying most of the rent at that point, so I went along with it. For some reason, I still thought that I could separate you from that watch and everything would just… go back to normal. Who knows? Maybe if I’d found a way to separate the watch from you that night, they would have. You still remembered who you were, then. Your keyboard was covered in dust, sitting in the corner of the bedroom, but it was still there.

But as we watched the lights on the ferris wheel, you a short little pastel boy with a single demure piercing, standing next to a lanky punk covered in tattoos and wearing a patched jacket, you checked the Prep Watch. I watched as your eyes shone in the light reflected off the watch face, and with a swirl like smoke, they turned from brown to blue. You nodded to yourself and undid the watch.

“Want to try it?” you chirped at me, reaching toward my wrist.

I ran.

I think that I thought I could get back to our apartment and clear my stuff out before you got back. But I was on transit. You owned the car. I really thought I’d made it when I saw the lights off in our window. I unlocked the door, crept inside…

There was barely a rustle as you emerged from the closet and clapped the watch onto my wrist.

And now here we are. I’ve been talking for a while, I guess. I just had to get all of that out. I wish that I could just stand up, walk out, take off this watch. What I really wish is that I had just up and left when I saw the way this was going. I'm afraid that I'm about to lose myself, the way you have. I miss my boyfriend. But now here we are, and I’m wearing the Prep Watch, and, well…

It looks nice, right?

#male transformation #mental change #reality change #race change #male tf #preppification #twinkification #twink tf #clothing tf #gradual change #white tf #all fwkong

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xofanfics · 5 months

Text

Lost for Words - Part I

Part I | Part II | Part III

Genre: angst, fluff, smut 🥺🤗🥵

Pairing: Reader x Kun // Reader x Taeyong

Word Count: 6k

Summary: You have the best boyfriend you could’ve asked for. Things take an interesting turn as you befriend your new coworker, exploring the blurred lines between friendship and something more.

Kun was the first man that came into your life that cared enough to try to learn your love language. For that, you were forever grateful. He bought you flowers, just because. He admitted that he never bought a girl flowers for no reason. Before he met you, he thought things like flowers and chocolates were meant only for Valentine’s Day and birthdays. But he bought them for you on the first Valentine’s Day you spent together. He could see the glimmer in your eyes as you admired them and, because of that, he bought them for you when he felt like you needed it. So, he bought them for you when you were feeling stressed, before a Friday night date, and sent them to your office for no reason at all.

He’d do things like cook you dinner when you didn’t ask. He paid attention to the things you said, like if you were craving Chinese dishes. The next day, he’d been in the kitchen making your favorite noodle dish. And you’d smile wide, the sparkle in your eyes enough to light up the darkest of his days. He’d do small things to make your life easier, like run the water for your bath while you worked late or steam your clothes in the morning if you forgot the night before.

Kun liked to cater to you, perhaps more than you did for him. Despite that, he never complained about it and he assured you that it was fine when you asked about it. He’d said, “I do these things because I want to, because I love you.” Kun’s love languages were different from yours, you realized. He preferred quality time and physical touch, so as long as he at least had those things, he was happy. In contrast, you preferred acts of service but, like him, you also enjoyed quality time.

You were looking at your sleeping boyfriend with a smile. Your leg was wrapped around his and he had his arms wrapped around you. The two of you often slept like this, with your limbs entangled around each other until it got too hot in the middle of the night. You’d roll over on your side and he’d follow so that he could spoon you from behind. And sometimes, he’d be hard and it would turn you on. And then turning over in bed would lead to you getting under him, wrapping your legs around him as he gave you what you wanted. You smiled at the thought, not because you were horny but because the love you had was so beautiful, so pure. As you watched him sleep, you realized how lucky you were to have found a man like Kun Qian.

You buried your face in his arm and he stirred. He groaned, glancing over at the clock on the nightstand. “Why are you awake so early, baby? Let’s go back to sleep.”

“I can’t believe we have to leave each other in a couple hours… The weekend goes by too fast.”

“I know,” he said, “The weekend isn’t enough.”

“I can’t wait to move in together,” you said, smiling at the thought.

He pulled you closer and kissed you on your forehead. “Waking up to your face everyday would make me so happy.”

“I know,” you said, melting in his embrace.

You couldn’t imagine being with anyone except Kun. And being with him, you hit so many milestones already. You’d been together for two years now and you were ready to take the next step—moving in together. Soon, you wouldn’t have to alternate weekends, going from his apartment to yours. Soon, you’d be falling asleep and waking up together, making meals together, and heading out for work together everyday. And even if he had a business trip, you’d be at home to greet him upon his return. Still, this was a few months down the road, given that spring was in the air and summer was on its way. The decision was set for this winter.

It was perfect. Everything was perfect. He was perfect—a match made in heaven. But sometimes you wondered if things were too good to be true. Sometimes, you felt insecure. But you knew that it was your fear of abandonment speaking and that was something you had to overcome. Kun was a good man and you had no reason to think he would suddenly leave you. Always, he reassured you that you were perfect for him and that there was no way he could live without you. Despite your random feelings of doubt and worry, Kun held your heart in his hands and held it tightly. They say that actions speak louder than words and he’d proven to you, time and time again, that he had no intentions of letting you go so easily—not if he could help it.

He told you that he would marry you someday. And despite what you may have thought, he had no intention of going back on those words.

You sighed as you walked into your office that day. Staying in bed with your boyfriend would’ve been the better of the two options. The aroma of the cheap coffee the office manager ordered every week filled your nostrils, as you walked past the kitchen. In passing, you exchanged greetings with a couple of coworkers who were deeply immersed in a conversation that seemed to revolve around the latest celebrity scandal.

You placed your vanilla macchiato on your desk before you started setting up your desk for a long work day. Your coworker and friend, Hina, who seemed to have just come from the bathroom, greeted you as you sat down. “Morning, Y/N!”

You raised an eyebrow. In general, Hina was a pretty energetic person, but she seemed extra hyped up this morning. “Morning,” you replied. “Why do— no—how do you have so much energy on a Monday morning?”

“I’m excited because the new hire starts today. I dunno about you but I can’t take another second of trying to figure out how our campaigns are performing,” she complained. “I know there are a couple positions being filled but Chaerin could’ve at least left after one of them was filled.” She rolled her eyes and slammed her notebook closed.

“I would leave in a second if I got the offer she did. She’s making well over six figures now, can you believe it?”

She sighed. “I mean I get it but if someone asks me one more question I can’t answer,, I’m actually going to kill myself. I shouldn’t have said that I was eager to learn in the interview.”

“There’s been so much going on, I guess I forgot about someone new coming on.”

“He should be getting here soon.”

“He?”

“Yeah. The HR lady had his new hire paperwork on the desk when I went in there a few minutes ago looking for her.”

“So nosy,” you said, shaking your head before taking a sip of your coffee.

You looked up as you heard the light murmur of chatter coming toward your side of the office. You saw the HR Manager walking into her office with a handsome man walking behind her, looking around the office with big, curious eyes that darted from left to right.

“He’s good looking,” said Hina, nudging you with a wink.

You chuckled. “I thought Kevin was your office crush?”

“Hey, I can have two office crushes!”

A half hour passed and as you were getting into the groove of your workday, the Creative Director, David, walked over toward your desks with Taeyong behind him. “Meet Taeyong,” he said. “He’s our new analyst. He’s going to be trained by Valentina once she’s back from maternity leave in a couple weeks. Of course, we will all be working together closely as we use analytics to inform our decisions for our upcoming campaigns.”

You stood up, shaking his hand, after he greeted Hina. “Hi, I’m Y/N. I’m one of the marketing managers. If you need help with anything or have any questions, you can ask me. I know things can be a little overwhelming on the first day but if Valentina picked you while on maternity leave, I already know you’re the best of the best!”

“Nice to meet you,” he said, smiling brightly. “And thank you so much. I look forward to working with everyone.”

At that, David cleared his throat. “I have a meeting with a partner in a few minutes but, Y/N, could you get him set up and show him around the office? Hina, could you come with me? I want you to join this one, since you had some ideas from our brainstorm last week.”

“Um, sure,” you said, as your coworkers walked away from you, leaving you and Taeyong behind. You walked ahead, to the next row of desks across the aisle. “So this is going to be your desk while you’re here. You actually have a nice view on this side of the office.” You turned the monitor on to check if it was functional and checked that he had all of the cords he needed to set up.

Taeyong let out a lighthearted chuckle as he placed the laptop he’d been carrying on the desk. “I just can’t believe I have the newest MacBook. My last work computer was so slow and it would overheat anytime I opened Chrome.”

You laughed. “Sounds like a pain in the ass.”

“Definitely…”

“Did you go to school in Seoul?”

Taeyong shook his head. “No, I actually went to the University of Hong Kong. I ended up getting a scholarship.”

“Wow. That’s amazing. I wish I had the opportunity to study abroad. It seems like a great experience.”

“Yeah,” he said, “I’m definitely glad I left Korea for a while. It’s nice to experience new things, meet new people, you know, and get out of your comfort zone. Plus, I even learned a little Cantonese.”

You led Taeyong through the office, showing him where the product, sales, and tech teams all sat. You showed him the meeting rooms, some empty and others filled with two or three people getting their days started. You showed him the kitchen and how to use the coffee machine while you explained that there were bagels on Mondays and that you’d have half days on Fridays once summer commenced.

Taeyong looked around the office with curious eyes, excited to be a part of this company. He’d been so excited to hear back from this company after three rounds of stressful interviews. He’d heard of people struggling to get a job in the current economy. So, he was grateful to be in a company that seemed to have some good perks.

His last job treated him poorly. He’d spend hours, sometimes even outside working hours, working on reports. And then, the data wasn’t even used. He never received any recognition and barely received any feedback. The only feedback he ever got was when his work wasn’t what the higher ups wanted. If it was negative, he sure got feedback. But as for anything positive? There was rarely any feedback there. So, Taeyong gave his resume a much needed makeover and set his sights on a new job and a company that would at least value his work.

He got good vibes from this place so far, especially from you. He thought about what it’d been like when he came here for his very first interview. Honestly speaking, he remembered seeing you. He saw you while he was waiting for the hiring manager. You’d been walking past the blue armchair he was sitting in. You were with the coworker he met today, Hina. He noticed you right away, mostly because you had this loud laughter. It wasn’t obnoxious but it was the kind of laughter that was contagious, the kind of laughter where you had no choice but to laugh, too. But he noticed how wide your smile was and how happy you seemed and how long it’d been since he’d seen a woman smile like that.

You noticed him then, a worried expression plastered on your face. “Hi, are you here for an interview? Did someone help you already?”

“Yeah, they know I’m here. Thanks.”

“Do you want water or anything to drink?” you offered. “I know interviews can be a little stressful.”

Taeyong shook his head. “Water would be nice. Thank you.” And a moment later, you returned with a cold water bottle for him, handing it to him with a smile. And then he aced his interview and ended up here, with you.

He figured it was probably insignificant but he found that a lot of people in the working world could be so cold. But Taeyong was a person who cared a lot. He was someone who treated everyone with kindness, because that’s what he’d want in return. He was the kind of person who cared about the people he worked with.

“Have you been working here long?” Taeyong asked, as you showed him into the main kitchen. He noticed that the kitchen was stocked with snacks and fresh fruit, as he recalled you mentioning that the office manager, placed an order every week. You added earlier that if he had any requests, for office supplies or for snacks in the pantry, to let them know.

“Almost two years,” you replied. “I actually just got a promotion. I came up with this amazing concept for one of our new products. It wasn’t perfect but I worked with the product development team to figure it all out.”

“That’s really impressive,” he said. “I hope I can grow here, too.”

You nodded. “I’m sure you will…Between you and me, they took forever to fill this role. I feel like they were looking for the perfect person and, well, it looks like they found you.”

Taeyong chuckled. “That’s great to know.”

The two of you stood at the coffee machine, deciding to get a fresh cup from the machine that seemed to have endless options; from lattes to macchiatos, it seemed like the machine could do it all. You were very friendly, he noticed, and he hoped that the others were just as nice as you were.

Two weeks had gone by since Taeyong was brought on. In just two weeks, he’d gotten a lot done. Taeyong went from meeting to meeting, learning as much as he could about the company’s products. He took in your marketing plans, asking questions as he went. And soon enough he was churning out data reports based on your past campaigns. So far, he seemed to be the type to go above and beyond and you appreciated that. His doing his job well helped everyone else do their jobs well, too.

It was Friday and it was nearly five o’clock. It’d been a long week, full of deadlines and you were relieved to have a couple of days to relax. As of now, you had absolutely nothing planned. Kun was going out to a friend’s birthday dinner, so you figured you’d stay home and make dinner while enjoying a cool glass of wine.

As you made mental notes of the groceries you wanted to buy, you heard a slam from across the office. You’d been lost in your thoughts at that moment and you shrieked aloud.

Hina looked up from her laptop with a grin. “You’re so dramatic!” she said, nudging you in the arm. You both chuckled.

David stood up from his desk. “Please tell me that everyone is finished with their to do lists for today,” he asked, with a hopeful tone.

Mostly, everyone nodded, except Kevin who huffed and said, “We need to have a meeting with the product team on Monday. I just saw that they rejected the new design for packaging. And at this point, we’re going to have to push back the launch again.”

David sucked his teeth, turning back to her laptop screen. You knew his stress all too well. If his team’s work got rejected one too many times, all of our plans got pushed back. “What’s the issue now?” David chimed in, glaring across the room at the product team’s side of the office. “You know what? I don’t care. It can wait until Monday. I will send out a calendar invite. We can’t keep pushing these launches back like this…Anyway, I was thinking that we could go for a team dinner tonight if most of you are free? We haven’t officially welcomed Taeyong to the team since we’ve been so busy. My treat.”

The team clapped in response. Typically on Fridays David and Valentina didn’t make anyone work late, but very rarely did it come with either of them offering to pay for dinner. Within five minutes, all ten members of your team were packed and ready to go.

“Where are we going?” asked Taeyong in a curious tone.

“How about dim sum?” David suggested. “I’m in the mood for some dumplings and they have really good soup dumplings. Have you had those?”

Taeyong nodded. “I haven’t had any since I left Hong Kong.”

“Right, you went to school there. You’ll love these. The owners are from Hong Kong so it’s authentic and delicious.”

There were some murmurs of agreement and you and your team were whisked away, heading toward the elevators.

Taeyong walked with you, Hina, and your other teammate, Michelle. Taeyong was the talkative type, from what you could see, and he held up most of the conversation. You wondered how he had so much energy. Maybe it was because it was Friday and you’d left the office to start the weekend. Maybe it was because he was new and excited about his new position. Maybe he just had a lot of energy, in general. It wasn’t that you hated your job but it was rare that you felt feelings like joy or excitement about coming into work. Taeyong was excited and you almost envied him for it.

Your stomach grumbled as you went inside the restaurant and got a whiff of whatever was cooking in the kitchen as your group walked toward a large table in the back. Just as you were about to take a seat next to David, he waved Taeyong over. “Come sit here.” He made a hand motion at Hina, who had sat next to the seat he apparently wanted Taeyong in. “Scoot over one seat and let Y/N sit there so Taeyong can sit here.”

The three of you shuffled about until you were in your “assigned” seats. Hina whispered, “God, are we adults or are we in elementary school?” The two of you snickered together as the waiter placed a fresh pot of barley tea in the middle of the table.

The group spent the next ten minutes figuring out what to order. Your boss ordered several orders of everything—dumplings and buns in just about every form, wine chicken, tofu dishes, bok choy, chicken feet, and probably more rice rolls than you needed. And of course, he ordered some liquor to get everyone started. That was always his strategy: get everyone at least tipsy so that the conversation would be more interesting, as he put it.

The conversation was spread across the table, with your half of the table talking amongst yourselves and the other half doing the same. It wasn’t until the food came that your boss decided to be more interactive with Taeyong.

“How were these past two weeks? Are you adjusting well? I told everyone to take care of you so if they didn’t, you can tell me.”

Taeyong nodded. “It’s going well. I’m enjoying the work. And Y/N is really sweet. She helped me get settled easily.” He then turned to you directly. “Thanks for being so helpful and answering all my stupid questions. You’re really good at explaining! And you too, Hina. I’m learning a lot from both of you.”

You felt yourself blushing at the sudden compliment. Your work was something you were proud of but it was rare that someone openly appreciated the projects you’d worked on or your knowledge of the company products. Of course, Kun would always congratulate you when you told him about your accomplishments at work. But it felt good to hear it from someone at the company, especially from someone new to the team and someone who knew more about the things you were working on. You and Taeyong collaborated more than you thought you would initially. And the meetings you had with him were extremely helpful and even gave you some ideas for future projects. Taeyong seemed to be pretty creative and even contributed ideas that he wasn’t sure were even possible. But you liked that he seemed to believe that you could do anything with the right people and the right tools and resources.

David’s lips parted in surprise. “Wow, Taeyong is showering everyone with compliments today. I feel a little left out.”

Taeyong laughed. “Of course, I like working with you all but I have to admit, I think Y/N and Hina are more my style.”

You felt heat rising to your cheeks at Taeyong’s seemingly flirty comment. It wasn’t that you had a crush on Taeyong, but you were interested in him as a person. You genuinely enjoyed spending time with him and working on projects together. You were a marketing manager and he was an analyst. The two of you made a good team…along with Hina of course.

***

After food and a couple more drinks than you should’ve had, you were thoroughly stuffed. Your boss paid for the meal with the company credit card and scurried off saying that his wife was waiting for him at home. Then your coworkers began to disappear, one by one, until only you, Hina, and Taeyong were left. And Hina insisted on finishing the liquor your coworkers left behind in the pitcher.

You said, “I must have gained like fifty pounds.”

“Let’s start walking so we can lose at least five,” Taeyong said, nudging you.

“I should go on a diet,” you said, standing up from the chair, stretching.

“You don’t need a diet,” he said. “It always bothers me to hear women say that…”

Hina said, “So, your type is a woman who eats well, hm?”

Taeyong nodded with a smile. “Yeah. I love cooking so I want someone who can taste it first and tell me if it’s good or not.”

“Will you cook for the holiday potluck?”

Taeyong smirked. “Maybe.”

“I never had a man cook anything for me,” said Hina, frowning as she stood.

“But your dad cooks really well,” you said. “I still think about the clam soup he made for your birthday.”

“That doesn’t count,” she explained, as she slowly began to tip over into the chair. She held onto the table to hold herself up and rolled her eyes. “He’s my dad. I want a man to cook for me!”

Taeyong chuckled. “Does that mean you’re good at cooking? Do you take after your dad?”

Before she could answer, you opened your mouth to speak. “Let’s just say she could use a little work…”

Hina laughed. “Hey! I improved since last time!”

Taeyong patted her shoulder. “Let’s get you home.”

“I can go myself,” she said, doing her best to stand straight. Whether she realized it or not, she definitely couldn’t do it on her own.

You said, “Don’t worry. I can take her home.”

Taeyong shook his head. “What kind of man would I be if I let you go by yourselves? I’ll call a taxi and the three of us can go.”

Hina said, “I’m perfectly fine to take the train!”

“Fine,” said Taeyong with a sigh, “we can take the train.”

***

Hina was the one who insisted on taking the train despite hardly being able to support herself on her own two feet. She stumbled into you and Taeyong as the three of you walked to the station and even fell asleep in her seat, her mouth wide open.

“I’m sorry about Hina,” you said, as you arrived closer to her stop. “She’s one of those people where you don’t know how drunk she is until it’s too late.”

Taeyong smiled. “We all have that one friend.”

You’d been worried that Taeyong might be annoyed but, from what you could see, he seemed to have a lot of patience.

“Well I’m sorry that you have to spend your Friday night with your drunk coworkers,” you said, chuckling.

“It’s fine,” he said. “Really. I don’t mind at all. This is better than spending my Friday night by myself. I don’t have many friends in Seoul since I moved back. I got pretty close to a few people in Hong Kong but, you know, they’re in Hong Kong…” Taeyong continued. “My best friend from high school was an international student from Thailand so he’s back there. Lucky for me, he comes to Seoul pretty often for his work. And my other best friend is living in Incheon, so he’s close but he works in finance and he has a girlfriend now so he’s busy.”

“Wow, so most of your friends aren’t even in the country, huh?”

“Lucky me,” he said, with a sigh.

“Well we’ll definitely be friends with you. Even though Hina fell asleep, she really likes you. She said that you’re way better than Chaerin.”

You laughed and Taeyong joined in with a laugh that seemed so light and free. You liked hearing him laugh. Taeyong could be quiet at times but he was playful, too. Hina liked him and you liked him, too.

You and Taeyong helped Hina up and off of the train a moment later. Together, you brought Hina to her small apartment a couple blocks away from the station. As you got into the elevator, she said, “I ordered pizza.”

“When did you order pizza?”

“When you went to get me water from the convenience store.”

In those couple of minutes you were inside the store, Hina apparently ordered pizza while in Taeyong’s care. You shot him a look, to which he said, “I didn’t see her do it. I just thought she was texting or something.”

You laughed. “Well hopefully she can stay up long enough to eat it…”

Hina put in the code to her door and you and Taeyong followed her inside. You said, “I’ll help her put her pajamas on. You don’t have to stay. You’ve helped us out a lot tonight. I really appreciate it.”

Taeyong said, “I’ll stay here at least until she gets settled. I should make sure you get home okay, too.”

“Okay,” you said, before you disappeared with Hina into the bedroom. Thankfully, Hina had had a little bit of time to sober up and she didn’t seem as wobbly before. You pulled out pajamas from her drawers that didn’t match and handed them to her. You turned while Hina got herself undressed.

“I can’t believe I’m this drunk,” she said. “I’m so embarrassed Taeyong saw me like this.”

“It’s fine,” you assured her. “You had a little too much but it’s not like you did anything embarrassing. If you jumped on top of the table and started dancing, that would be a different story.” The two of you laughed for a moment before you turned to her. “Wait, you ordered pizza, right?”

Hina said, “Oh! I almost forgot. The app says it’ll be here in ten minutes. I’m so tired though.” She walked over to her bed. “I don’t care about taking my makeup off or taking a shower right now. Actually, can you just stay here until the pizza comes? I’m just gonna take a little nap. Wake me up when it gets here.” She put her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. She fell asleep almost instantly and you knew that she would give you hell when you tried to wake her up in a few minutes to eat.

You figured you should go to the bathroom before leaving. As you headed down the hall, you tripped over an unknown object, sending you crashing into the wall. As you collided with the wall, you knocked down a photo frame. It plummeted to the hardwood floor, crashing to the floor, the glass shattering.

Before you could blink, Taeyong was by your side, eyes wide and full of concern as you’d also ended up on the floor. “Are you okay? Did you get cut anywhere?” He took your hand, examining it for cuts.

“I think I’m okay,” you said, putting your palm on the floor to help you up.

“Wait,” he said, putting his hand out before you could touch anything. “Let me clean up the glass. There could be some small pieces and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

You waited for him to get back with the broom and watched as he swept up every single piece you could see.

“I guess I’ll buy her a new picture frame,” you said, chuckling. “What did I even trip over?” You turned to find one of Hina’s slippers in the middle of the floor. They must’ve come off as you brought her into the bedroom.

Taeyong winced as he picked up the last piece, shaking his hand. “Damn it!”

Your heart dropped as you saw a tiny sliver of blood pour from his finger. You got up, despite his protests, and got Hina’s first aid kit from the medicine cabinet. You called him over to sit on the bathtub edge, next to you, and pulled out a bandage and alcohol wipe.

He sat down and said, “I can do it, you know…”

“It’s fine,” you said, ripping the paper open on the alcohol wipe. You swiped at the blood coming from his cut, causing Taeyong to yelp from the sting. His reaction made you chuckle. He rolled his eyes as you put the bandage on, wrapping it carefully around his finger. “There.”

“Thanks,” he said, smiling at you.

Your eyes met his. The air felt heavy for a few seconds. It felt almost as time stopped. There was this slight tension that you weren’t sure if he felt, too. The few seconds that you had locked eyes felt like hours. The doorbell rang, interrupting the seemingly intimate moment.

“I’ll get it.”

As you predicted, Hina didn’t wake up in time for the pizza. When you attempted to wake her from her drunken state, you were met with protest and crankiness. Despite your best attempts, Hina refused to be pulled or prodded. So, you and Taeyong helped yourselves.

In the middle of your bite, you heard a loud vibrating sound. “Oh,” you said, “my phone!” You realized that you hadn’t paid your phone a single ounce of attention since you’d arrived. Your heart dropped as you realized that it was your boyfriend calling.

You answered. “Hello?”

“Are you okay, babe?”

“Of course. I’m fine.”

“I was worried,” he said. “I was trying to stay awake until you came home but I fell asleep…Why didn’t you text me back?”

“I saw your message but I forgot about it. Hina got a little too drunk, then me and Taeyong helped me get her home…”

“Taeyong?”

“He’s new to the team. I told you, remember?”

“Right,” he said. “Anyway, are you still going to come here? Maybe you should go home instead. I could meet you there?”

“No, it’s okay. We have pizza so I’ll eat a little more and then come there.”

“Use my account and take a taxi, okay? I’ll wait for you.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.”

“I love you, Y/N. Get here safely, okay?”

“Yeah,” you said, “I will.”

You pressed end and returned to your pizza. To be honest, you felt a little awkward having that conversation in front of Taeyong.

“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend,” he said. “Have you been together long?”

“It’s been about two years,” you explained. “I guess I just don’t talk about him much.”

Taeyong nodded, taking his last bite of pizza. “We should get going,” he said. “Will Hina be okay?”

“Yeah,” you said, “I put a bottle of water on her nightstand and the garbage can is by her bed if she needs to throw up.” You stood up. “I’m just going to go to the bathroom.”

While you went to the bathroom, Taeyong picked up the paper plates and cleared the counter. He put the pizza box in the fridge and then went to get your coat. By the time you came out, Taeyong had your coat and bag ready for you.

“You ready to go?” he asked.

***

Kun was awake when you arrived. He was sitting on the couch waiting for you, makeup remover and cotton balls ready.

“Hey baby,” he said, a wide smile on his face. “Welcome back.”

“Hi,” you said, sitting next to him. You planted a kiss on his lips with a loud smack. “I’m not that drunk babe. I can take my makeup off.”

He chuckled in response. “A good boyfriend should always be prepared for his drunk girlfriend to come home. They’ll come back too drunk to take off their makeup, they’ll start demanding to order chicken nuggets or they’ll throw you on the bed for sex.”

“I’ve only done those things like once.”

“I mean, you definitely made me go to McDonalds and yelled at me because it was late and they only had breakfast. So, you asked for a McGriddle instead.” As you laughed and reached for the cotton balls, Kun stopped you. “I got it, babe.”

You shrugged and let your boyfriend remove your makeup. He was always so gentle with you; it was as if he thought you might break if he held you too tightly. In that moment, you realized how tired you were. And Kun knew that because he picked you up off of the couch, carrying you into the bedroom. He kissed you as he placed you onto the bed. Before you knew it, he was peeling off your clothes, kissing each spot where he removed something.

You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with each kiss. When he finally took your panties off, you couldn’t take it anymore. You found yourself climbing on top of him, cupping his face with your hands around his face. You kissed him, pushing your tongue in his mouth.

“What’s with you?” Kun asked, surprised by your forwardness, as he pulled away from you.

“I just want you, babe,” you said, kissing his neck.

“I want you, too,” he said, rolling you over onto your back. He swiped at your pussy, feeling how wet you’d gotten. He hummed in satisfaction. He pushed a finger inside, your wetness covering it. You gasped at the feeling, gripping around his finger. As he added another, you let out a moan. He fingered you for a few moments, driving you crazy. You needed him inside of you and you needed it now.

“Please,” you whined.

At that, he pulled his fingers out. He got on top of you and you used your hands to guide him inside. He plunged deep into you, taking a moment to revel in the feeling. You pulled him closer, wrapping your arms and legs around him. Your lips parted in satisfaction as he began to pull and push himself in and out of you. Kun loved it when you were on your back and he could look deep into your eyes.

You pulled him closer, bringing him into your neck. He kissed it so tenderly with each stroke, allowing a soft moan to come from your lips. He went slow for you, plunging seemingly deeper and deeper into you.

Moments later, he wasn’t going easy on you anymore. He’d bent you over the bed and was pounding you hard, sending you into a frenzy of loud moans in which you were sure the neighbors could hear. And with one last stroke, he came undone with a heavy sigh.

After, you and Kun laid down in bed. Naked bodies pressed against each other, Kun held you in his arms as you began to slowly drift to sleep.

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispered before pressing his lips to your shoulder. You heard him but couldn’t bring yourself to speak back. It was just seconds before your world went dark.

***

General Taglist: @to-all-the-stories-i-love @sweetnspicy-noona

LMK if you want to be tagged in the next part! - Part II coming soon!

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differenteagletragedy · 5 months

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Cove isn't the stepdad, he's the dad who stepped up: Baxter's POV

A companion story (lol) to my silly little series about MC ending up with Cove after Baxter impregnated her in Step 3 then disappeared. Baxter is their wedding planner, finds out about the kid, and angsty ensues.

But like so much angst. An absurd amount, really.

Latest part of the series here, with links to the first two!

Baxter was a deeply pathetic man -- he knew that. He'd never tried to fool himself into believing any different.

He had countless reasons for hating himself, but none of them cut quite as deeply as being reunited with you and learning about what he could have had.

The pain came in waves -- seeing you after all this time was the knife to his heart, and every additional detail was a twist of the blade. You were with Cove. And you were beautifully, hopelessly in love with him. And you were getting married.

But if all that pain was a knife, then learning that you'd had a child and piecing together that that child was his? That was a landmine. It blew him to pieces.

It happened so quickly, and he could tell you hadn't meant to tell him. After hearing that you and Cove had a son, he'd only asked how old he was. It didn't take a scholar to work out the math -- with his age, there was no way he wasn't the father.

Usually so quick witted, he'd completely frozen at the realization. Before he could unthaw himself, you and Cove had left his office, and he was alone. As always.

He finished the rest of his workday in a haze, and he must have driven himself home safely because the next thing he knew, he was unlocking the door to his apartment.

The thing was that it was just such a deeply ironic mess -- if he was truly honest with himself, a real family was really all he'd ever wanted. And to think that he could have possibly had that with you and a baby, a little piece of him and you that he could have watched grow and learn and change and love, but he didn't even give himself the chance because he'd convinced himself long ago that he didn't deserve it ... it was maddening.

After a bit of restless wandering, Baxter pulled out his phone and found your contact information. Even though he'd never responded to your attempts to reach out or even read the texts you'd sent, he never brought himself to delete your number.

"Please call me, it's important," you'd written about a month after he left. There were a few of those -- "seriously, call me," "Pick up the phone, I need to talk to you," "I really really need you to talk to me."

The last message you'd sent was the longest and was sent a couple of months later. In that one, you'd told him that you were pregnant, that the baby was his, and that you were scared and didn't know what to do. The desperate plea had been in his phone for nearly five years.

He put the phone back in his pocket.

Baxter didn't sleep last night, instead opting to drink coffee and ruminate on what could have been -- a familiar pastime. At one point he ended up in his guestroom, imagining it with a crib and then a toddler bed, maybe a twin bed now if the boy was big enough. Toys on the floor, tiny little clothes in the drawer. He imagined himself kneeling on the floor here, playing with his son or telling him bedtime stories. He imagined standing in the doorway with you, watching him fall asleep before heading to bed together.

In reality, it was a guestroom that had never and would never see any guests -- another testament to how pitiful he was.

It was a nice, bittersweet break from reality while it lasted.

He was on the balcony, looking mindlessly over the city when his alarm went off on his phone. He stumbled back inside and got ready for work. By the time his shift was over and he gotten back to his empty apartment, he was almost delirious, and so naturally that's when he decided it would be a good idea to call you.

"Hello?" you answered.

"Hello," Baxter replied, willing himself to sound calm and relaxed.

"I'm sorry we left like that yesterday, but everything is fine," you told him. "I'm still not sure when we'll be able to reschedule our appointment, if you still even want --"

He cut you off as politely as possible, saying, "I actually wasn't calling about the wedding, if that's all right."

In a stilted, scared voice he was sure sounded ridiculous, he tried to ask about your son. He didn't want to outright ask what he wanted to know, but you were able to pick up on what he was getting at.

And you, understandably, were furious.

He listened as you tore him apart for leaving you like he did and for ignoring you after. You sounded like you were as angry as if it had happened five days ago, not five years, but considering the seriousness of the circumstances, he didn't think that was that unusual.

You called him a coward. He didn't say anything, but he knew you were right.

At the end, all he could do was apologize. He'd wanted to know the truth, but he hadn't thought about what to do with it once he'd gotten it.

Somehow, he had the nerve to ask for a picture.

You were always nicer to him than you should have been, and so seconds later, he heard his phone ping in his hand. He pulled it down and opened the message you'd sent, and there it was.

Baxter took in the photo, as painful as it was. The boy in the picture had dark hair, warm brown eyes and he noticed a small mole on his wrist -- he'd noticed it because he had one there as well. The resemblance was undeniable. This was his son.

He wasn't aware he'd started crying until he heard the sounds he was making. Even then, he was lost in the picture you'd sent, another wave of what could have been washing over him. What if he knew this boy? What if he'd called him Dad?

Your voice cut through his thoughts, and he heard you say, "I have to go. Dylan is waking up from his nap."

"His name is Dylan?" he asked.

"Yes. I ... I'll talk to you later, I guess," you replied, then hung up.

At that, he sunk to the floor, letting his phone drop somewhere beside him. He wasn't sure if seeing the boy and learning his name had made it better or worse. Then again, he couldn't really imagine feeling worse.

Utterly exhausted in every conceivable way, Baxter eventually picked himself off the ground and made his way into his bedroom. He peeled his clothes off and climbed under the covers of his bed, willing sleep to take him immediately. He wasn't that lucky.

Instead, he laid in the quiet, the last light of the day streaming through the windows. He laid on his side and put a hand on the empty space beside him, just under the extra pillow that was there for no one.

He closed his eyes and imagined you there, your skin just as warm and as soft as when he last felt it. He pictured his arm around you, rising and falling with your breath, and that imaginary movement was enough to lull him to sleep.

#our life beginnings and always #olba #our life #olba mc #baxter ward #olba baxter #baxter x mc #baxter x reader #baxter x you #olba baxter ward #our life baxter ward #our life baxter #cove holden #olba cove #baxter angst #is there such a thing as too much angst?#yes and this is it right here

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smittywing · 9 months

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FicBit 7: Jason Todd/Tim Drake

Previous parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

This was not one of Jason's better ideas.

Jason tried. He did. He went to the nightclubs and the bars and he asked guys out on dates and kissed guys on the dance floor. Not one of them was Tim Drake. Sure, some of the kisses were interesting and one guy put a heavy hand on Jason’s lower back and pressed him close in a way that he liked, but when he went home, when he went to bed, there was only one person on his mind.

Maybe, he thought, he was trying too hard. He was in the back of a nightclub nursing a drink and watching the couples and throuples on the dance floor. He had discovered a few things that he liked and didn’t like and he could build on that. But his heart wasn’t in it tonight and he knew it.

At least it wasn’t until a slim, dark-haired guy leaned into the bar to speak to the bartender and Jason knew him. He would know Tim Drake anywhere. Tim got his drink and backed up, his eyes casing the room. There was nowhere to go, so Jason just braced for Tim’s gaze to sweep over him and lifted his glass in acknowledgment. Tim nodded and started filtering his way through the crowd toward Jason.

“Hey,” he said, a few inches below Jason’s ear. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Jason shrugged. “Research,” he said. “Where’s Cannon Fodder?”

“I’m working tonight,” Tim said, sliding up against the wall next to Jason and taking a sip of his drink. “It’s drugs,” he said from behind the glass. “Want to help?”

“Hell yes,” Jason said.

For the record, Jason would be down with taking out some pushers even if it didn't involve Tim murmuring in his ear for the next ten minutes.

But it did.

“It comes in on motorboats small enough to come up to the dock,” Tim explained. “They cut and package it in one of the rooms upstairs - I haven’t gotten in there yet - and then they have the dealers take it to the floor. A little dancing, a little grinding, hey you want to do some powder, and they’re making bank before midnight.”

“So we want to be on the docks,” Jason reasoned. “Pushers aren’t getting us anywhere but the cutting room. If we can get onboard one of those boats - “

“This is just evidence-gathering,” Tim told him. “If we can catch the actual sale, I’ll call Detective Williams and he can - “

“Don’t you want to get the big bad,” Jason asked. “Cut this ring off at the head?”

“Do you have anything that even resembles a plan?” Tim returned. “We don’t have gear. At least I don’t.”

“I came here to get laid, not bust a drug ring.” Jason shrugged. “But I like to think I’m flexible with my plans.”

Tim stared at him a moment, eyebrows furrowed, mouth slightly open, and Jason suddenly realized what he’d said. Well. Who cared, anyway. One of these days he was going to get laid at one of these places. He didn’t have to tell Tim that it wasn’t actually going to be tonight.

‘Come with me,” Tim said suddenly, looping fingers around Jason’s wrist and tugging him around the crowd, up to the bar. Tim left his half-filled glass on a tray and waved down a handsome blond guy at the edge of the room. For a moment, Jason thought Bernard was actually there, but then realized the guy was too broad and too sharp-featured to be Tim’s boyfriend.

“What can I get for you, Mr. Drake-Wayne?” the man greeted them, hardly sparing a glance for Jason. “Or for your friend, perhaps?”

“Listen,” Tim said, sounding impatient and bored for someone who had summoned the guy in the first place. “My friend - “ and at this point, he slid his hand into the back pocket of Jason’s jeans - “is looking for a bump but frankly, I’m a little concerned about the quality of the stuff here. How do I know it's not cut with fentanyl or something else that could cause some…bad press?”

Wow, Jason almost said because he knew Tim had some bastard in him but he delivered that line so coldly, Jason wanted to shiver.

There were other reasons he wanted to shiver, starting with the hand Tim had firmly tucked in his back pocket. He was starting to regret wearing the tight jeans that night.

“Understood,” the man said. “If you like, I can show you the process from receipt to delivery. The package comes to us pure and the division of assets takes place upstairs.”

“Please,” Tim said disdainfully. “I do enjoy an efficient operation.”

They followed the man down a back hallway, past the bathrooms and the kitchen, and finally out a set of double doors onto the freshly salted air of the courtyard.

Under the light of the new moon and the motion-activated security lights on the building, Jason’s pants were definitely too tight. He tried to adjust himself subtly but Tim noticed and a blush spread across the bridge of his nose and over both cheeks. He did not, however, remove his hand.

“Mr. Drake-Wayne,” the man said, nodding to the water.

Tim looked at his watch. “On the nose,” he said. The speedboat pulled up alongside the dock and the pilot looped heavy rope lines around the pylons of the dock.

“Pure bricks,” the man said, breaking one in half. White powder puffed upward in the moonlight and Jason threw up a little bit in his mouth. He tapped a finger against the split edge and held it up to Tim’s face - to smell or taste, Jason wasn't sure. “A sample, Mr. Wayne?”

“Drake-Wayne,” Jason said.

“Excuse me?” the man said, looking vaguely horrified that Jason dared speak.

“He uses both names,” Jason said. Tim was the only one of them to use the Wayne moniker - mostly because Bruce had suckered him into working for the business - but he made sure to acknowledge his birth family as well, and Jason respected that.

“Of course,” the man said. The expression he cast at Jason was most definitely in the sneer family. “Any other requests?”

“Well,” Jason said, deciding to go for broke. “I don’t suppose we could have a tour of that ship?”

Tim’s hand spasmed. Yeah, this was definitely one of Jason’s better ideas.

This turned out not to be one of Jason’s better ideas.

Jason hit the water feet-first and sank like a rock. He exhaled some bubbles and followed them to the surface with brute strength strokes. His head broke the surface and he immediately looked around for Tim as he blinked water out of his eyes. For a long moment, he couldn’t see Tim, could barely see anything, and his heart seized up as he reoriented himself, finding the ship behind him and the lights of the marina in the distance. He shook his head and his ears popped and there, finally, Tim’s head broke the surface twenty feet away.

Jason used a powerful crawl to close the space between them. “You okay?” he called, spitting out vile Gotham river water that lapped into his mouth when he opened it.

“Yeah,” Tim called back, spitting out his own mouthful. His hair fell into his eyes and he shoved it back out of the way. “Make for the marina. My boat’s not far.”

‘Not far’ was a relative statement, Jason found, as he followed Tim through the water toward the lights. Tim was a graceful swimmer, cutting through the water swiftly and quietly. Jason had the strength and endurance, but he wasn’t as fast as Tim and trying to keep up was actually a little bit of a workout.

“Here,” Tim finally declared, grabbing the ladder on the outside of one of the boats and hauling himself out of the water. Jason followed closely, feeling the weight of the water fall off him as he pulled himself up the rungs.

“Ugh,” Jason said when he hit the deck. “Gross.” He was drenched through and while he was glad he’d been wearing clubbing clothes instead of his armored suit, he was drenched and the night air was chill.

“We probably need a course of antibiotics now,” Tim said, and Jason coughed out a watery laugh. Then Tim sat straight up. “Oh, shit.”

“Oh shit, what?” Jason asked but he didn’t have to wait for an answer.

Cannon Fodder was on the dock and hopping onto the boat. He was a good-looking kid, Jason had to admit, taller than Tim, lean but fit, with dark blond hair falling over his eyes.

“Tim?” he called. “Tim’s friend? Are you okay?”

“Hey, hi,” Tim said, scrambling to his feet and reaching for Bernard. “We’re fine, it’s all good.”

“Were you *swimming*?” Cannon Fodder asked in horror and reared back when Tim leaned in to kiss him. Jason couldn’t really blame him. Gotham’s water wasn’t exactly potable on its own and the river caught the worst of it. “In the *river*?”

Tim raked his hair back. “Um. Jason fell in and I jumped in for…solidarity.”

“Solidarity,” Cannon Fodder repeated.

“To help him get back up to the boat,” Tim amended hastily.

“Help,” Cannon Fodder echoed. His eyes narrowed at Jason and Jason immediately felt guilty. This was the guy who made Tim smile like Jason had never seen before, Tim’s *partner* and Jason couldn’t stop himself from wanting to wrap Tim in his arms, kiss him, steal him away for his very own.

Did Cannon Fodder know he was the guy Tim had kissed? How had he reacted when Tim had explained? How had he *felt*? Was the context enough? Empathy might not be a trait people immediately associated with Jason, but he was having a hard time not putting himself in Cannon Fodder’s shoes right now.

“I fell in,” Jason said. “I was chasing my, um, hat. I had a hat and I thought I could grab it. Guess I was wrong.” He could feel Tim’s eyes on him. Ugh, selflessness was the worst.

“Sorry about your hat,” Cannon Fodder said. “You might want to hold on to it better next time.”

“Yeah,” Jason said, entirely aware there was no wind that night. “Or maybe not wear a hat.”

“Also an option,” Tim agreed. “Um, Bernard, this is my friend Jason. Jason, this is my boyfriend Bernard.” And then he fucking blushed at calling Cannon Fodder his boyfriend. “Look, we should get some dry clothes. Um. Jason, I’ll see if I have anything that will fit you?”

That was unlikely. Jason might be able to squeeze into a t-shirt that was oversized on Tim, but there was no way pants were going to happen.

“Uh, thanks but I think I’m just gonna…Uber?”

“Uber?” Tim repeated.

“Uber,” Cannon Fodder said firmly.

Somehow Jason’s phone survived its bath in the Gotham River, courtesy of the weatherized case Barbara had left in a gear drop. There was awkward silence as Jason waited for his ride.

“Thanks for the save,” Jason said stiffly when his ride was a minute out. “Bernard, good to meet you, man.”

“Same.”

Yeah, Cannon Fodder definitely knew who he was.

Jason collapsed in the back seat of the car and closed his eyes. He’d given an address two blocks from his closest safehouse but chances were he’d have to burn the place anyway. River stench lingered.

He tried not to picture Cannon Fodder taking Tim below decks and stripping him of all those wet clothes, wrapping him in towels, running a hot shower, getting in with him, soaping him up, and -

Yeah. Not picturing that at all.

#batbrats #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #jason todd/tim drake #red hood/red robin #batfam #tim drake robin #jaytim

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hugheshugs · 2 years

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the unknown remedy | t. bordeleau

au masterlist

part four. <- prev part

summary: thomas shuts himself off from everyone for a couple days, resulting in a surprise from you and his friends. you find out one of his secrets and he gets vulnerable, leading you to reassure him that everything'll be okay.

contains/tw: smoking, heightened feelings/anxiety, bren being kinda irritating, thom being a sad boy, vulnerable thom, light mentions of abuse.

pairing: dbf(dad's best friend)!thom x reader

word count: 2.8k

note: i know this took probably over a month so i'll be surprised if anyone's still invested. its bit different from the dbf!thom we know and love but he's got feelings too and i wanted to show them :) hope you guys like it <3 and remember to send me an ask or comment or message me if u wanna be added to the daddy issues taglist !!

six days.

it's been six days since you and thomas last saw each other. you thought he was avoiding you, partly because the morning after you slammed the door in his face you were greeted by a tide pen sitting on the floor right outside your bedroom.

his intentions weren't to make it seem like he was ignoring you but clearly your brain had other plans. you spent the next couple days with heightened anxiety whenever any of your dad's friends came over out of fear of facing him.

you got to know a lot of them pretty well, actually, and you'd even noticed a slight change in your dad's behaviour. he was.. happier. it was a good look on him. spending time with his friends really seemed to change him for the better and you wondered why they hadn't been around throughout your childhood. why did he only find it important for them to come around when thomas moved back?

you tried not to think too much about it, it wasn't very important anyway. you wondered where he's been but kept those thoughts to yourself knowing you'd see him eventually and you'd get the chance to apologize.. if you gained the courage to do do.

and thomas, well, he wasn't having the best time of his life per se. things had been great the first couple of weeks but with a hectic schedule and a busy mind, he found himself crumbling. he felt like he was the base of a mountain carrying the weight of the world on his back.

"i haven't seen bordy in a long time."

your head peaked up at ethan's words, carefully eyeing the bunch who began to share questioning glances.

"... i haven't seen him since like, last week. i don't even think i've heard from him since then," nick realized and you held back a frown. how had you been the one to notice his disappearance before they had? it was the one thought that ached to leave your mind.

"i've been texting him," your dad spoke up and you smiled. of course he'd been.

"he's really stressed. he's got lots going on right now and he doesn't know how to handle it by himself but he refuses to ask for help," he explained with a small scoff at the end. "stubborn son of a bi— uhh, bickle."

you rolled your eyes at his pathetic save, as if you didn't cuss when he wasn't around. the group began pondering upon all the reasons why thomas had been distant, seemingly forgetting the fact that your dad directly told them he was stressed.

it seemed as though this was unlike him no matter how heavy his heart felt. you felt guilty listening to their conversation, obviously his business was probably something he didn't want you knowing.

"why don't we go check on him later?" mackie suggested as he took a sip of his water. "bring some food and have dinner, maybe. who knows if he's been taking care of himself.."

you felt a nauseous pit in your stomach at the thought of how poorly he may have been doing. had he even been able to get out of bed? brush his teeth, remember to drink water? you were frozen in your seat as your mind ran in circles.

"yeah, that sounds like a good idea," your dad agreed. "i guess we'll leave when hunter gets home. he should be back in a bit."

the hood on thomas' head softly brushed against his cheek as he turned towards the sound, tickling his skin. he lightly chuckled to himself when he spotted an innocent squirrel running across the street.

with every inhale of the poison between his fingers, remedy filled his lungs. he sat under the tree outside his house, looking upon the empty road scattered with cars and potholes that the city never seemed to fix—he remembered them from when he was young.

with a rapid heartbeat, smoke fell from his lips and found haven in the cold air of the night, a sight so sore for even his eyes. he hated when he did this, when he resorted to the one thing he told himself he'd never fall victim to.

he watched along as rain began to fall from the clouds above, painful memories causing him to take another puff to ease his mind. it was hard. it was hard to live in michigan without the girl he'd planned a life with.

it was stupid, he knew that. he was never one to be hung up on a girl, especially one he'd left nearly a year ago but the bruises were still fresh in his heart. they were raw, a burning red, and they ached like their motive was to torture him.

he still had the scars scattered upon his body, the words ingrained in his head, the sights tattooed on his eyes. sometimes they became too much.

he was a man with a broken heart, one he didn't think deserved to be fixed. but that couldn't be further from the truth, yet he failed to see it. all he saw were the dark blue days he blindly mistook for a loving red.

his fingers planted on the grass beside him as he lifted himself up, crushing the cigarette beneath his feet before he bent down to pick it up. a few specs of dirt got caught in the grooves of his fingertips, even under his nails a bit. he cringed, flexing his joints at the irking feeling. it was an unhealthy habit and he felt guilty as he disposed of the evidence before walking back into his house.

his first order of business was to get rid of the smell tainting his nose. a shower was due.

the towel hung loosely around his hips as he stepped out of his bathroom, steam following behind him and into his bedroom. he shook his head a bit, droplets of water flying around before he ran a hand through his hair.

a knock on his front door caused him to stop as he pulled his pants up. he thought he was hearing things, giving it a moment before a louder sound filled his ears. he furrowed his eyebrows, unbothered to cover his upper half as he was now distracted by the persistent knocking.

"give me a fucking second," he mumbled to himself, a hand on the railing as he jogged down the stairs.

he twisted the knob and a bittersweet feeling flooded his gut as the breeze clung to his warmth. familiar faces holding bags in each of their hands, all with smiles on their faces is what he was greeted by—and somehow he mustered one after days of feeling numb.

"w-what are you guys doing here?" he asked, feeling a sense of relief.

"we missed you," brendan shrugged as though he should have known. "now, are you gonna let us in orrr.."

"yeah— yeah, c'mon in," he was speechless, really. as he stepped to the side to let all his friends in, an overwhelming amount of emotions flooded his body.

it felt like a stream of minions walking into a room as they kept piling in. finally looking out the door to see if anyone was left, he was face to face with a much smaller figure. you looked at him with your doe eyes, fiddling with your necklace as you felt your heart beating in your head.

you were trying to hide the ice in your veins as his gaze didn't leave you. he saw the goosebumps on your skin and bit the inside of his cheek, encased with worry.

he was quite surprised to see you. if he was being truthful, he barely thought about you since the day he dropped off the tide pen. he'd been so preoccupied that he didn't have even a minute to think about anything that didn't cause him stress.

he noticed the pen in your hand as you remained stuck in your place, like your feet were glued to the ground. the bruise on your face had faded, which he was glad to see as he cleared his throat.

"you can come in," he told you softly. "i'm not gonna eat you."

you bit your lip and gave him a breathy little smile as you looked the other way in nervousness. he didn't know how you were feeling but he could tell it wasn't good.

you were flustered. beads of water rolled down from his hair and onto the exposed skin of his chest. his skin was still a bit red from the hot shower he'd just taken, but the place your mind took you was far from that innocent act.

"are you alright?" he asked, concern laced in his voice.

"mhm," you nodded, rolling on the balls of your feet. you stood under the covered part of his porch, a little wet yourself as you'd been pelted by the rain when you were standing behind the large group of boys.

"you're dripping, c'mon, come inside," he finally demanded with a light hold on your arm, pulling you into the house. he closed the door behind him and sighed.

he realized as soon as he saw you that you weren't in any mood to speak. hell, he didn't even think you wanted to be here. but as your dad's best friend it was his responsibility to get you to warm up seeing as you'd come to visit him.

"do you want something new to wear? who let you go out like that? it's raining and you're dressed in a t-shirt," he wondered, your teeth beginning to chatter as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

you were standing out there pretending not to be cold and he knew it.

"well i-i didn't know it was raining," your voice shook. "my dad told me i should be fine."

now he remembered why he'd been so worried about you before. he sighed once more, grabbing your hand and leading you into the kitchen where everyone else was. you felt bile rising in your throat, swallowing it down as thomas approached your dad.

"is it okay if i give her something warm to wear? she's shivering, bren, look at her," he asked almost tiredly, something in his mind resembling alarms beginning to blare.

"yeah, go ahead. y/n, you should have worn something warmer," brendan scolded after replying to thomas.

you frowned. "but you told me i'd be fine."

"you know yourself better than i do, you should have known. now you're going to have to wear something of thom's, don't you—"

"okay, bren chill out," thomas grabbed his shoulder with his free hand, the other still attached to you. "take a breath, now's not the time to get riled up, alright?"

brendan looked at him then you before going back to setting up dinner. "just be quick, we're almost done here."

without another word, thomas led you up to his bedroom. his touch was gentle, so careful that it made you feel fuzzy. your stomach fluttered as you looked down at your clasped hands.

his bedroom was simple, unlike you would have imagined. well, you hadn't really ever imagined it but if you had, this wasn't what it would have looked like. there was almost zero essence of personality within the four walls claiming to be his, but you assumed it was because he was still getting settled in his new home.

"do you wanna sit?" he asked, letting go of you to hand you the hoodie that was on his bed. hesitantly, you grabbed it between your fingers.

"aren't we just going back down?" you asked quietly, looking down at the item in your hands.

"well i thought," he let out a breath. "i thought maybe we could just chill up here for a minute. i need a breath, you know? and i thought maybe you would too."

"oh," was all you were able to say. your eyes met his, emotionless as you felt dazed for a couple moments.

you didn't make a sound as you walked past him and to the foot of his bed, taking a seat on the soft mattress. you held back a gasp at how bouncy and fluffy it was, simply smiling to yourself instead before placing the tide pen down.

thomas, relieved you made yourself comfortable, used the moment to grab a shirt. you turned at the worst second, watching as the muscles of his back flexed while he pulled the shirt onto his body. your eyes widened, heart skipping a beat as you quickly looked away and decided to pull his hoodie over your head to distract you. it was too late. the image of the grooves on his back would be fixed in your mind for god knows how long.

the marks on his body intrigued you more than anything else. somehow you hadn't noticed them the last time you saw him, but they weren't fresh. you didn't remember hearing anyone talk about them either. they were probably just from hockey so that might have been why no one was concerned—that was what you told yourself so you wouldn't get in over your head with all the endless possibilities.

you shoved your arms into the hoodie as your head got trapped in the fabric and a pungent scent hit your nose, causing you to make a sound. you quickly brought your head up and took a deep breath while wiping your hair away from your face. you nearly gagged.

"what the heck?!" you exclaimed, every ounce of anxiety or nerves from before completely washing away. "what's that smell?"

you sniffed as thomas walked up to you, his face turning pale. his heart sunk to his stomach while you missed the expression in his eyes, trying to identify the scent. it was then that he realized that he'd given you his hoodie from earlier, when he'd been smoking outside.

"is that.. smoke?" you finally looked at him and noticed his agony. "you smoke?"

"look, i-i know it's gross and i know it's bad but," he fumbled with his words. "please don't tell anyone. i only do it sometimes, when i'm stressed or anxious or, i don't know. sometimes i just need it and i can't stop myself, i—"

"thomas, it's okay," you cut him off, standing up as he ran his hands over his face with a bitter chuckle.

"no, it's not. it's really not," he shook his head. "and don't tell me it is because you're going to go down there and tell them, and i've been trying my best to hide this from everyone for so long—"

"you're rambling, stop," you stopped him again, boldly placing your hands on his neck.

he was forced to look at you as you tilted his head, your thumbs running soft circles along his jawline to calm him down. his eyes softened and he found himself at a loss for words for the second time that night.

how he left himself go like that, he didn't know, and quite frankly he was embarrassed. guilty, even, for speaking like that to you. and your delicate touch only made him feel worse.

"i'm sorry," he whispered, unable to say anything else.

"hey, it's okay. i didn't say anything bad, did i?"

he shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. he looked down at his feet and closed his eyes, wondering how he got himself in this mess. how he was here, with you, and you were the one trying to console him when he knew it should be the other way around.

"i won't tell anyone if you don't want them to know, okay? it's not my place or my business to tell them. i'm sorry that i scared you but i promise your secret's safe with me," you spoke slowly, trying to make him understand.

"i just," he glanced up at the ceiling, foot tapping with anxiety. "it's embarrassing, you know?"

"it's not. i mean, yeah, it isn't the most healthy habit but it's nothing to be so ashamed of. you're okay, i promise."

his glossy eyes met yours and he nodded again, holding back a frown when your hands fell from his skin.

"and um, i'm sorry about.. about slamming my door in your face," you apologized sheepishly, thinking he might find it humorous. he did, which was a good sign as he smiled, a real chuckle leaving his lips this time.

"didn't take it to heart," he told you. "and thank you for.. for dealing with whatever just happened to me. i— i don't know how i let that happen but.."

"you don't need to explain yourself," you shook your head. "and you don't need to thank me, either. i'll always be here for anything you need."

"thanks," he replied in thought. how brendan raised such a sweet daughter, he'd never know. "and i'll always be here for you, that's a promise."

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stargazing15 · 2 years

Text

It’s for the better

Pairing: Hangman x Fem Medic!Reader

Summary: Even you got the hots for Hangman (Look at the man, who doesn't). Against all odds you ended up one night with him. If you only knew the real reason why that happened…

Warnings: angst, cursing, mention of sex, alcohol and blood (you’re a medic), death, it’s extremely sad; sorry guys I was in a very bad mood. - If you're not comfortable with this, please don't read. MINORS DNI!

A/N: Keep in mind that English is not my first language and that this is my first completed fic. (So sorry for any spelling errors or weird grammatical choices)

It turned out a bit longer than what I intended. Whoopsies

Part II

Please don’t copy my work

******

Opening your eyes, you had to recap what happened yesterday night.

It looks like you ended up in the bed of the notorious Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin.

How the hell did that happen?

Until yesterday you were deployed on the same ship as Hangman, but it’s not like you were that popular and pretty like the girls he normally takes home, you were rather mediocre. So that leaves you once again with the question: How the hell did this happen?

What you remember is coming home, since you didn’t have anyone waiting for you, you headed straight to the bar to release some steam, maybe meet up with a couple coworkers.

After a couple beers you found Hangman staring at you, yup you. In a blink you thought his fellow aviators, who were complete assholes during deployment, were laughing and whispering something in his ear before he headed your way, but you decided to ignore it. And yeah, the rest is history.

Now that you were fully awake, you planted your face in his cushion to take in his scent, let the memory of last night linger a bit longer. Luckily Hangman was still sleeping so you could quietly get dressed and sneak out.

After a couple days recuperating at home from deployment and that nights activities, it was time to get back to base. You know it was just a one time thing with Hangman, but you couldn’t get him completely out your head. Let’s just say his reputation in bed was very true.

Arriving at base you knew something was off. You could see the stares at you and hear whispers “It’s her, I would be so embarrassed if I were her”. Good thing there were a lot of medical check ups planned today to keep your mind off things.

After the last check up of the day your coworker Jess came to you and the concerned look on her face started to get you worried.

“Hey Y/N, can you come over, I think I need to tell you something...”

“Yeah sure, one sec.”

“I … I don’t know if you noticed the whispers around here -“

“Yeah” You sighed.

“I kinda found out what they are about.”

“Oh, nothing bad I hope” You tried to keep yourself strong, forcing a smile.

“Y/N, did something happen between you and lieutenant Seresin? Y/N please be honest. I know you had a little crush on him. Okay who doesn’t, but -”

“Yeah, I drank a little bit too much and I have honestly no idea how he noticed me as a person.” You said letting your thoughts wander back to that night.

“About that, uhm, I don't how to tell you this, but he didn’t just notice you, I. Uhm -“

“Jess, what? You’re starting to scare me” you interrupted her softly.

“I heard the aviators today, those assholes, I filmed them, here, it was a bet Y/N. He even snapped a pick when you were sleeping.” You could see those assholes laughing and pointing at a phone. “I never thought Hangman would do it, I still owe him the $100, haha. He really can get every one in his bed, even those stupid medics, what a slut.”

By then you stopped the video, not being able to hear of see any more of it as tears were streaming down your face and you just started running as your legs took over. You were in a complete trance, you can’t even recall getting home or drinking half that bottle of wine, when you got to the realisation that everything you were was nothing but a joke.

Life cut you some slack the next day when your boss called, to come in immediately, just like all the medics.

“- So what we’re asking is not something to take lightly and will be completely different from your deployments on the ships. We need one of you to transfer immediately to the war and become field medic. You will get advanced weapons training for emergencies, I hope you won’t need it, and you’ll start the first weeks on base, later on you might get send in the field for rescue missions. I know this comes at a bad time after deployment, but I need one volunteer to go. So which of my excellent medics wants to volunteer?”

“Me” You say without even thinking. “I could use a new scenery and I don’t mind getting back to action this soon, commander.”

“Okay, thank you lieutenant Y/L/N. The rest, you are dismissed.”

Your commander turns back to you “You’ll leave in 3 days, let’s get to the specifics.”

And this is how you ended up for the last time on base with your packed bags already in the truck.

“Hey Jess, come here” you hugged your best friend. “You’re the only thing I’m gonna miss about this place, thank you for being here for me.”

“Hey Y/N, you really don’t have to go, what will we do without our best medic. I think the big boys are gonna cry now when they a booboo.”

“Yeah” you chuckled. “But I can’t stay here, everyone is still laughing with me and I know I sound so pathetic, but I think I need to get away from here.”

“I can understand that part, but why to the danger zone? Promise to call and mail me... Did you actually get a chance to speak to Hangman before you leave?”

“No and I don’t see a reason why. I honestly don’t wanna see that asshole anymore. It hurts even more that I thought he meant that night. Sorry, it just, it just hurts so much” You sob.

“I’ll miss you Jess” You say while you keep on hugging her.

“I’m gonna miss you even more, you’re the one who always did the bloodiest patients.”

“Yeah, that’s gonna be you now” you laugh “I think I should get going before I miss my plane.”

“Well, that’s gonna have to wait a little bit, someone here to see you. Bye Y/N make us proud here!”

“Hi Y/N!”

Fuck “Lieutenant Seresin, be quick, I need to leave.” You say coldly.

“Oh, can we talk later maybe?”

“No, I’m out of this shithole with my compliments to you and honestly, I changed my mind, I don’t wanna talk to you. You had your fun. Goodbye, go ruin some other people’s lives, I wish you the worst.” And you started to walk away. Maybe you should hear him out, but what good would it do, probably pouring some more salt in your healing wounds.

Hangman stood there still, gaping at you, not even sure he heard you right. The small sweet medic, being ice cold to him and saying goodbye. “I’m sorry, I fucked up” He tried to say loud enough for you to hear, but you were too far gone.

You were now two weeks at your new home for the next year or so. It felt right here, a place where you belonged. Here, you could be you, no more need to hide behind a fake smile. Your colleagues were really nice and best of all, no fighter pilots on this base. The only thing hard about the place, was the hot climate. After a month you should get used to it your colleagues said.

Work wise it wasn’t that excited yet, the typical food poisoning, splinters, some occasional small wounds. And then the time came, your first ride, or rather flight, in the field. It gave you so much adrenaline and afterward so much reward when you were able to save the life of the soldier.

Five months later you got whacked back to reality. A group of fighter pilots were gonna stay at your base for a couple of weeks for a mission. Fuck, everything you were able to forget for months just landed in front of you. It was a good thing it was not the asshole-squadron, but it were still fighter pilots, the reason you ended up here.

“Hey Y/N, weren’t you deployed lately on the USS Abraham Lincoln?” Jeff, one of your friends and awesome colleague, asks you, with Britt trailing behind him, another medic and friend.

“Yeah, but I actually don’t wanna talk about my time there, if you can understand.”

“Oh God” Britt says, “it’s you that asshole pilot is talking about, isn’t it?” She asked softly.

“Yeah” You almost whisper “but can you please tell no one, I trying to keep that all behind me-“

“Hey, of course, come here sweetheart” Britt smiled. “Group hug!”

“There’s only one bad apple between those pilots, but one with a big mouth. The other pilots are actually quite nice.”

“Lieutenants Y/L/N, Brigdes and Peters! Come on, time to roll, there’s been an accident with an IED” You hear from afar.

“Let’s forget about the past, duty calls!”

When you arrived at the scene it was horrendous, fortunately everyone was alive, wounded, but alive. After the first heli with Jeff in it took the most critically wounded back, you stayed back with Britt and some armed forces to take care of the last wounded. Everything went fine until the last patient was secured in the heli so you could hop on too. Out of nowhere gunfire started. Before you could process everything that was going on, you hear you pilot screaming “Medevac to base, we’re under attack” while starting the heli to get in the air as soon as possible.

“Come on Y/N grab my arm, get in!” Britt screamed.

“Aaaah, fuck, I’m hit!” All you could feel was a excruciating pain in you back going all the way to your abdomen.

“Shit shit, here put some pressure on it” But at this point everything started to become blurry and hot. You were unable to focus on anything or anyone, even on time.

“Come on Y/N stay with us, keep your eyes open, we’re almost there” mumbled Britt.

It was like movies and books described it, when the end was near, your life started flashing before your eyes.

Your body started to feel numb because of the blood loss, but you could feel your friends tears falling down your face.

“Stay with me Y/N.” Her soothing voice felt comfortable, all you could do was close your eyes and starting to let go. It wasn’t painful anymore, you already made peace with the fact that your time has come.

“Let me go, please” you could whisper.

“No, no, we’re getting you in the OR, you’re gonna pull through” Britt sobbed. Even though the heli was landing, it was too late. You had already lost too much blood.

“It… It’s for the better” You mumbled with your last breaths, even trying put up a small smile.

“No, no, no, no Y/N please keep on fighting! Don’t give up!”

When you felt the last bit of life slip away from your body, all you could picture was his face, the reason you ended up here.

“Jake…”

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