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ferdifz · 9 months

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Throwback from 2016 in Ello on the topic of "Burnout"

[Link to original: [+]

Me:

[WARNING: possibly controversial statement on mental health, follows.]

A major characteristic of burnout is the inability to disengage from stress, or more specifically an inability to disengage from a constant mental state of stressfulness.

And no, one can't just simply turn off PTSD like how one would turn off a faucet. One doesn't just "get over it". To suggest that it is possible to simply do so, is insulting. Hurtful, even.

[/end statement]

comment by Arxvis:

My partner has a burnout, it's almost taking me along - so heavy and difficult to heal!

comment by Dredmorbius:

I'd run across this description via HN a while back:

Burnout is caused when you repeatedly make large amounts of sacrifice and or effort into high-risk problems that fail. It's the result of a negative prediction error in the nucleus accumbens. You effectively condition your brain to associate work with failure.

Subconsciously, then eventually, consciously, you wonder if it's worth it. The best way to prevent burnout is to follow up a serious failure with doing small things that you know are going to work. As a biologist, I frequently put in 50-70 and sometimes 100 hour workweeks. The very nature of experimental science (lots of unkowns) means that failure happens. The nature of the culture means that grad students are "groomed" by sticking them on low-probability of success, high reward fishing expeditions (gotta get those nature, science papers) I used to burn out for months after accumulating many many hours of work on high-risk projects. I saw other grad students get it really bad, and burn out for years.

http://iamnotaprogrammer.com/Burnout-is-caused-by-resentment.html#comment-478842490

I'm not entirely convinced that's it either (and there is a literature on the topic), but I do think that:

Stress.

Repeated failure.

Lack of downtime.

Are all key.

I burnt out. Hard. About four years ago. Still haven't returned. At first my level of focus was light TV sitcom material -- literally anything else just shut me down. I've worked back up to where I can deal with certain types of work -- some, true to my classic work style, I can't not do. But there remain a large class of things I simply cannot do. I contemplate them and my brain completely shuts off. I cannot even talk about them.

This is phenomenally difficult to communicate to to those around me (it's remarkably difficult to talk about something if you cannot even talk about it...), and of course there are people who simply cannot comprehend the concept of mental dysfunction (frequently those who've got a measure of it themselves, I've noticed, but that's another story).

A century or so back, this was called a "nervous breakdown". I'd always thought that term was fanciful and overly poetic, much like "tidal wave" seemed terribly inaccurate. Much as I've since seen video of the ocean rising inexorably as a tide following the 2004 Boxing Day and 2011 Tohoku earthquakes, I am finding that the notion of a breakdown of nervous capacity actually does seem to fit what I've experienced.

Physiologically or neurologically, I don't know what the specific mechanism is. But I strongly suspect that long-term levels of even moderate stress have far more profound impacts on us than we suspect. With, quite probably, significant variation among individuals, and also a probable high level of self-delusion among those who are actually experiencing strong negative consequences but denying it to others and even themselves. Dunning-Kruger or some variant.

Link to original post on Ello: [ello.co/ferdiz +] (link quite possibly dead by now)

#fz_thinkingOutLoud #elloon #ello throwback #mental health #burnout

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bramble-scramble · 10 months

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how are u holding up after the direct?

I'm gonna be honest, I slept through it because I got terrible sleep last night and am dealing with a giant headache, and am just now catching up on everything. Which is why I haven't been around yet

BUT!!!! Incredible days for Mario fans who want the series to keep stretching itself and growing and being creative, both in terms of art style and the kinds of content it contains. Including a remake of one of the best and most formative games to ever do it. It's astonishing to see a full-on remake of SMRPG when I would have reckoned Nintendo was trying to more or less bury it at this point as a relic of a bygone era, with obligatory weak nods here and there. Explains why we haven't seen it on the SNES Online yet.

I will say I really needed them to not drop The Last Spark Hunter in the middle of my workweek, hahaha. I don't know why I wasn't planning or accounting for this at all, but I know what I'll be doing tonight I guess (including staying up too late again)

I'm not actually upset there was no Donkey Kong, I never actually expect it anymore. Next DK game is coming on the Switch 2 at this point, I guess. Which would make DK Adventure the Switch's only real original DK game... Thanks again for everything, Mario + Rabbids

Peach getting another game to herself is soooo cool (I've never played Super Princess Peach, have heard mixed things about it, although I'd still like to give it a go someday), she deserves it and I hope it's good. I hope the movie ushers in a bit of a renaissance for Peach being a hero on her own.

#alter answers

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nbmsports · 10 months

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My Boss Made Me Post This

A Promotion in Name Only

My company watched me restructure my team and successfully manage it through an acquisition. Recently, I was promoted to a senior director position. I was formerly managing relative newcomers in my field. Now, I am managing senior managers. As the weeks passed, I never received an official offer letter or had a discussion about a raise. I did, however, have conversations about transferring my responsibilities and taking over my new ones immediately.Nearly two months later, I received my official offer, with no increase in salary, bonus or deferred structure. I have voiced my displeasure with my direct supervisor and with human resources and was told that no salary increases will be discussed until next year. I asked my supervisor to go back to the C.E.O. and C.F.O. with this. I still haven’t signed the offer letter. I am paid a decent salary with decent benefits, but well under my market value. I am in the process of buying a house as well. Do I keep pressing, do I continue not to sign, do I go full scorched earth, do I rage-apply like there is no tomorrow?— Anonymous, New YorkIn an ideal world, all promotions would come with raises, but we do not live in an ideal world. You are entitled to your displeasure because this is a displeasing situation. With increased responsibilities and a new title, there should be increased compensation, but there is little you can do to compel your employers if they are unwilling.You must decide how to proceed. If they have made clear no salary increases are on the table right now, I’m not sure how productive pressing the issue will be. You can build a strong case by articulating how you restructured your team and managed the acquisition, but they probably are aware.Persistence is a virtue until it isn’t. Are you willing to wait until next year for a potential raise? Do you like your job enough to sign the offer letter and see what happens? Are you angry enough to find a new job? If you cannot live with this, yes, rage apply for positions that will offer you the compensation and professional consideration you deserve. I wish you the best of luck.

Resentment Does Not a Meal Make

I have been with my company the longest of any employee. I helped build the organization from scratch. Years ago, I decided to work part-time due to a disability. I also got special permission to work remotely. After the pandemic, the entire company went remote. Recently, there was a push to lower the workweek hours for morale and work-life balance. All full-time employees are now paid full-time but are only expected to work around 30 hours, and projects are assigned to match this new philosophy.I was not given a raise and my hours remain the same. I love what I do, and I love my co-workers, but I can’t stomach the pay discrepancy. For example, junior colleagues are making about $20,000 a year more than I am for what is now the same amount of work. We don’t have a human resources department, so I brought up the imbalance to my supervisor. She agreed it was not right. She said the company could not afford to fix it at this time but would look into fixing it next year. This was a massive oversight with very real consequences. I am newly pregnant, and money is obviously more important to me now. Is this ethical? Is this legal? How can I eat my resentment in order to stay?— AnonymousEthics come up a lot in the questions I receive for this column. People in exploitative work situations want validation that something terrible and unethical is happening. Let me assure you that this is not ethical; it is also not at all fair. Your supervisor has acknowledged how unfair this imbalance is, which is symbolic, but doesn’t resolve the significant pay disparity.If your employer can afford to pay everyone else in your organization a full-time salary for working 30 hours a week, they can afford to pay you a full-time salary for working 30 hours a week. Why does everyone else’s morale matter and yours doesn’t? There is no excuse for this, and you should not eat your resentment so they can continue to do something so egregious. Consult an employment lawyer with expertise in disability law, because I suspect that on grounds of disability alone, you have legal recourse. I hope your employer rights this wrong, and soon. Source link Read the full article

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annguyen0204 · 2 years

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If you survey people about the periods when they most enjoyed their work, it won't be when they had very little to do. It was when they were a little stressed and were pushed out of their comfort zone to achieve a higher aim. Something larger than themselves. ‍‍ Jim has a simple question to ask yourself: what pain are you willing to bear? In his view, there are a set number of painful circumstances in any job: ‍ 1. Physical pain, like manual labor, being on your feet all-day 2. Emotional pain, like a sociopathic boss or a micro-manager or a terrible client 3. Grind it out pain, such as long hours 4. The pain of uncertainty, like with freelancing or unpredictable income

Different people have different tolerances. You might be OK with working for an unpredictable boss because you know how to manage volatile people. Their outbursts don't hurt your mental well-being.

For Jim, he's willing to bear the long hours his job demands, but if he had a terrible boss, he'd quit inside a month. I know I am OK with the pain of uncertainty. I am comfortable not knowing my income 3 or 4 months from now.

As Mark Manson says, who you are is defined by the values you are willing to struggle for. People who can deal with the struggles of a gym are the ones who get in good shape. People who can bear long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who move up it. People who are OK with the stress and uncertainty of the starving artist's life are ultimately the ones who live it and make it.

What determines your dream job isn't "What do you want to enjoy?" The question is, "What pain are you willing to bear?" The quality of your life is not determined by the quality of your positive experiences but by how willing you are to deal with negative experiences. And to understand the negative experiences you are good at dealing with is to get good at dealing with life.

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becomingkatie · 3 years

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this post is just going to be me complaining about things from this weekend and life in general, so if you’re not in the mood to hear me whine, shuffle right along and have a lovely day!

The past three ish weeks have been rough, such that i’m nauseated with stress by 3pm every day and the weekends have been my respite, even last weekend when I had to work on Saturday. Ken and I have ridden our bikes together four weekends in a row, and the weekends have been lovely time just the two of us. Our house is in disarray because these lovely weekends have not included a lot of chore time, but they’ve been a wonderful break from what feels like overwhelming stress and executive disfunction in the workweek.

Enter this past weekend.

We knew we were getting snow Sunday so we headed out for a bike ride Saturday to a gravel route I haven’t done before. It includes part of a ride I HAVE done before, but is probably two-thirds stuff I’ve never ridden. I saw the elevation profile before we went but was like, “whatever, I’m a boss, this will be great and I will crush it!”

And then we started riding and my legs felt heavy and stiff from the get-go and my lungs rejected the cold air and it was immediately clear that it was not going to be an easy and fun ride. But I couldn’t let go of my “gotta crush it” mentality.

Early in the ride there was a long and steep climb on a gravel road and I was in my lowest gear and struggling, when my breaths became more and more like wheezes, until I was half crying and had to stop. The climb went on and on and I knew Ken was waiting for me at the top but I kept thinking, “there’s the top” and then Ken wasn’t there, and I just had no clue how much further I had to go.

When I finally got to Ken I was mad at him, even though he did nothing, and then we had a steep descent but I didn’t realize how steep it was and I didn’t get in my drops ahead of time. I couldn’t get in them while riding down such a steep hill, so I tried to stop and fell over because it was too steep to be stopping like that. So there I am, already angry and hearing mean things in my head about being too XYZ to make it up that hill, and then thoughts about being too stupid to know how to ride down the hill get added to the pile, and by the bottom (I walked back up to a flatter spot to get going again and used the drops) I was full-on crying.

Cycling while your own voice in your head calls you terrible names and tells you how awful you are at cycling really sucks. And then every time I’d recover and look around and appreciate how absolutely gorgeous it was (and it was one of the most beautiful days I’ve seen) I felt crushing guilt about ruining such a beautiful ride and then started crying again, and the cycle continued. It sucked. It absolutely sucked.

By the end I mostly had it together. I crushed it up a couple climbs I had done before on my mountain bike (the gravel bike weighs like 10lb less) so I felt proud of the push up those, and I mostly calmed my breathing and Ken talked to me about things that weren’t biking and that helped.

We got post-ride muffins and headed home, and I felt better, but I still felt (and still feel, two days later) just absolutely awful about being such a negative nancy on a gorgeous ride with the person I love most in the world, who does not care if I ride fast but just wants to see me have fun. And instead, I beat myself up and cried the whole time and stole his enjoyment of the day.

Anyway, that was hard and I’m about to cry again just writing this. I’ve been on the verge of tears for weeks and I feel really fragile right now.

I know yesterday also gave me things to complain about, but my head is back on Saturday’s bike ride and I can’t think of them, and if I could it would probably be best to just breathe through them and release them into the world instead of sharing them on a blog and dwelling on them further. So I think I’ll leave it here.

Time to take a few breaths and not cry during my one-on-one with my boss. If you read down this far, I hope you have a really great day.

#whiny post is whiny #katie bikes #katie rides bikes #gravel riding #cycling

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vicislifeinbinary · 4 years

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My take on the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic Last week, we all thought everything was going to be normal, we didn’t take the global virus seriously. I saw people at university booking flights (because the tickets were so cheap) and teachers planning the next week’s curriculum. Most people thought the virus was just like a normal flu. I saw life go on as normal, but of course with people washing their hands more and keeping a bit more distance. People said “See you next week!” and I said “Well… Maybe… I hope so!” and we said our goodbyes. Little did we know, that was only the eerie silence before the storm. Then, suddenly, on Wednesday evening of 11/3/2020, the prime minister of Denmark declared a shutdown of Denmark and afterwards people started hoarding food, sanitizing equipment and toilet paper. It was hard to realize what was happening, it felt like a movie. Still does. I was planning on going to school, to work and taking my driver’s license test – it has all been cancelled/rethought/postponed. My brother is working in the hospital and so is my mom’s boyfriend – I can’t believe how brave these people are in the midst of all this. Doctors will have to make some hardcore judgements in the next months. Entire countries are on lockdown and halting business. Closing their borders. All events are cancelled and so is work, school and social events. Stock market is plummeting and we will probably have a recession. It’s like a patient on life support and we’re just getting started, two weeks behind Italy. New York Times has written that “...as of Tuesday evening, at least 7,866 people have died, more than half of them outside mainland China… infected people have been detected in at least 142 countries” and on 13/3/2020 WHO announced that Europe had become the new epicentre. Thanks to the heroic Dr. Li Wenliang, Fang Bin and Chen Qiushi for discussing the virus and warning the public about the communist party’s violent censorship (and then tragically dying and/or going missing). We have seen the virus overwhelm the healthcare system greatly in other countries like China, Italy, Iran, France, USA, Austria and it’s probably only gonna get worse. What many people fail to understand is 1) You can have the virus without having symptoms, 2) It is very easy to spread and catch the virus and 3) The healthcare system does not have enough equipment, beds or staff if many people suddenly start getting seriously ill. I heard that Denmark only has like 1000 respirators in total, which is not enough, and I feel scared for the future, though I am not yet panicking. I’m trying to adjust to this new state in our dimension. Seems like this large scale containment has never been tried before. I look at people with great contempt when they go out to party, socialize, date, chill, act unhygienic etc. because they could be seriously harming others without realizing it – just because you can’t see the consequences immediately doesn't mean you’re not a catalyst. We are all potential vessels for killing our sick and our elderly. And not only old people die, we have also seen people in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s die from this virus. That person you talked to has talked to five other people and that item you touched has been touched by dozens. It’s just like that “burned matches” image people have been sharing, it’s so easy to understand. I honestly think a police enforced curfew will be implemented because some people do not listen to science at all. BBC did a good experiment with mobile phones and GPSes in 2018 to see how fast illnesses could spread if every person could infect 2-3 people and just travel as usual – by the third day 85% of UK was infected. Bill Gates warned us in 2015 that the world was not ready for the next pandemic, but that we could be, if we took big precautions and combined the military with the medical and biological measures. I do not think we are ready now even though we’ve been warned many times. I used to play the game Plague Inc for years and was stunned by how quickly it spread and how realistic the outcomes were (curfews being implemented, airlines and harbours shutting down, economic market collapsing, politicians falling ill, more money given to research etc.) – I never thought I was going to live in such a scenario. It feels dream-like and very brutal and honest. I also saw this in the movies Contagion (2011) and Outbreak (1995) which fucked me up. Material things are fragile. Societal constructs are fragile. World economy is fragile. When shit hits the fan, people are not so kind, rational and civilized anymore. Also interesting to see the world act like introverts. What if the world was like this? No need for anything, no buildings, no entertainment, no social life, nothing to buy or sell… Really scary to see, it looks like a Chernobyl ghost town. Such a strange social experiment to witness. It’s so devastating to all the business owners and to our culture. I do think some positive outcomes could come from this, though, such as: * More people working from home and having less unnecessary meetings and transportation time + generally getting a smaller public sector in Denmark * More e-learning and web exams being had which could open up knowledge greatly (as YouTube already did many, many years ago) * More research being done before the next pandemic + people taking pathogens, hygiene, cooking and vaccines WAY more seriously * Better safety nets being implemented for privately owned businesses and companies * Fewer working hours and shorter workweeks in general being had, as we find out what work is not truly needed/effective, so that we can have more quality time with families and loved ones instead of working all the time * More research going into growing/making cheaper food and better food preservatives * Being less dependent on China, who has been the global production star for a long time now with terrible freedom of speech as well as human and animal rights + China banning the unhygienic wet markets (which are the culprit of several outbreaks) * People realizing how fragile many things and constructs are and coming together to fight one bad thing instead of fighting over politics, money, culture and religion * More research going into robots and AI which could help us deliver food and medicine (and maybe transport individual people too) I do not know what started this virus, if it was nature or some sort of bioterrorism, like Bill Gates mentioned as a possibility in 2015. It doesn’t matter right now, because we still have to deal with it either way. All I know is to keep my distance and stay home. And I think you should too, even if “the weather is nice” and your friends are bored. The bubonic plague took 200 million lives, smallpox took 56 million lives and spanish flu around 50 million lives. Daily Mail writes “Scientists say the 'scale' and 'lethality' of the coronavirus is on the scale of the H1N1 influenza strain that sparked the Spanish flu pandemic over 100 years ago”. We need to take precautions before it’s all too late and we lose millions of lives. People have said “Acting extreme now will only be seen as inadequate later on” and Vox’ YouTube video brilliantly pointed out that “To slow the virus down, you need to act like you already have it”. We CAN prevent some of this. Act now – stay home, stay clean and stay distant. Thank you for your time. . . . . . . . . . . . . . #coronavirus #coronavirusupdate #covid19 #pandemic #pandemia #covid19denmark #coronavirusdenmark #denmark #danmark #coronapocalypse #panicbuying #stayhome #staysafe #flattenthecurve #COVID2019 #virus #outbreak #CoronavirusOutbreak #plagueinc #bbc #billgates #socialexperiment #socialconstructs #healthcaresystem #lockdown #wetmarkets #socialdistancing #quarantine #contagion #SARSCoV2 (her: Copenhagen) https://www.instagram.com/p/B95eoSQBw0W/?igshid=4poeakul8sz1

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crowleyisms · 4 years

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Itty bitty announcement

Nothing too terrible or horrendous but I’m starting a new job tomorrow morning! I really have no idea how this job is going to go during the day cause I am starting brand new but what I do know is that I won’t be having as much downtime as I did at my previous job. So you won’t see me on during the morning to early afternoon quite as often during the workweek.

This means I’m also going to try and start shoving things like asks and replies back into the queue to keep that going instead of answering them during work hours and such when my muse likes to kick in at times. So yeah just wanted to let ya know my schedule is changing a smidge but not too much and I’ll see all you lovelies in the evenings.

#out of crowley (ooc)

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ayankun · 4 years

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saying it confidently on tumblr is the first step to saying it confidently irl

Author’s note: the train of thought really jumped the rails on this one!!! TL;DR is my natural state is passive-aggressive laziness which makes me constantly slangry (sleepy and angry) and incidentally I’m trans af.

I’ve reached that point where I am recalling with startling clarity why I usually put the pen down Dec 1 and walk away for a year.

A week or so ago, I was telling my mom that the first few days had been tough because I was rusty and panicked about the process of writing words, but that I got into the hang of it and the product was getting better. My conclusion, at the time, was that I should try to keep going in December, maybe do 500 words a day, or shoot for 20k in the month, because I’d have busted through all the rust and my end-of-month content would be so sparkly and professional that it would be a shame to just drop off and let it get all creaky again.

Naw, mang. I ain’t no marathon runner. I ain’t got no stamina. I ain’t somebody who works hard and likes it.

I’m somebody who watches Youtube for four hours straight and then comes to Tumblr to whine about being stressed out about a hobby. I now have exactly as much time left in the day to bang out 1700 words at top speed before having to do the sleep thing, and that makes me feel bad to still have this “obligation” hanging over my head, which is now going to affect me at work tomorrow should I choose to fulfill it.

Oh it was/is shark week and my work schedule was wonked because of a class I attended and I haven’t been grocery shopping in a hundred years and I’m trying to find time to get out and play Pokemon Go and I want to keep up with the garbage on CW and I always leave my Japanese homework until the day before it’s due, and I have to go to my parents’ house on Fridays so every Sunday I have 3000 words to write just to stay on track, and I fritter away my workweek afternoons like I don’t have to invest the time into a 50k novel, like that time is free and I don’t have to budget for it.

I wrote a bunch of hands down garbage fire garBAGE yesterday, and that felt terrible. I know it’s NaNo and NaNo words are supposed to be terrible and that that’s okay, but I know that I’m co-authoring this with Future Me, and Future Me is Already Upset and the extra time I’m expecting them to put in. It’s fine that I wrote a garbage fire, because somewhere in the ashes is the bones of what that scene ought to be, but I’m super not excited about knowing the fact that I’m still on the hook for the 99% of the work required to finish it.

And that’s just one scene.

I’m gonna finish it. I’m just a little overwhelmed right now. Future Me ... well, they’re going to be overwhelmed, too, but probably in very different ways that will be fun and exciting to experience.

The silver lining, er, a tangentially good thing about the garbage fire is that I ended up having my antagonist circuitously reiterate a thing to my protagonist that I personally needed to hear, so at least my subconscious found its platform.

Sometimes, when I’m being a whiny baby, about things not going my way, or unpleasant situations being what they are, it’s probably because I’m choosing to allow these external forces to drag me along while pretending that I have no choice to stop or change it. But this is actually my choice. I’m choosing to go with the flow to avoid consequences, real or imagined. I get to keep my head down, put up with garbage to stay out of trouble, and feel righteously justified in complaining about it later.

What I could do, instead, is go after what I want and stop giving a damn about what anybody thinks.

Hello, my name is Daniel. My pronouns are they/them. I promise you and me that tomorrow I am going to call whoever it is I have to call in order to start going to counseling or therapy or whatever it is I have to go to in order to socially, legally, and medically transition.

#no tags #good luck finding this one later #danny boi

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kellexplainsitall · 3 years

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It was so humid all week, running was really tough. The highs: Winning the 7K in a heat advisory in a PR! The lows: BOMBING my long run on Saturday, cutting it short by 5 miles and taking multiple walk breaks in the last 4 miles.

Monday: 9 whatever miles

Tuesday: 9 easy with group

Wednesday: 65 spin

Thursday: 4 easy in morning + 1 mile warmup + 7k race

Friday: 9 easy pace, but HR was high

Saturday: 13 in morning + 3 in afternoon

Sunday: 10 easy

To think I almost didn't run the 7K! It was really, really hot, but I maintained pretty even splits. I went back and forth with one girl for the first mile and a half and then I dropped her and ended up beating her by over a minute. I was so stoked to run 29:37, I had yet to break 30 minutes and this was my fifth time running it and I smashed it! We went to the brewery after for the awards and our free beer. I was BEAT when I got home, and my legs felt like lead on Friday - oh well worth it! Saturday's long run was just a sufferfest. I thought I was doing everything right. I started early, had plenty of water, was running fairly slow (8:30s) and I just BONKED. Rebuck ran/walked back with me, which was very nice. I just felt terrible. I am hoping to get a few good long runs in. I normally run an early November marathon, so I am not used to these really long runs in this kind of heat. It's been hard.

My mom was here Thursday to Saturday to give us a hand, so we could do the race. My mom also redid the bathroom, which didn't really need redoing, but hey, it looks nice. Tim just has to do some touchups, which I am sure he is happy about. My sister came Friday to Saturday as well. They wanted to go to a brewery for happy hour Friday, but I wanted to go for a walk, who am I? So, I took Keegan and Miles and they grabbed a beer and takeout.

We spent a lot of time outside this weekend. I took Keegan to the park twice and we went to the pool Sunday. We're going out of town again this weekend, so I am trying to just enjoy quiet times at home. It feels like things have really ramped back up and I sometimes miss the quietness of the pandemic.

We have my soon-to-be sister-in-law's bridal shower (outside) on Friday evening and then my mom and I are running a 5K on Saturday. On Saturday afternoon, Keegan is being baptized, and then my parents are hosting our extended families outside for a baptism party? I don't know. We don't really care about baptism, but our parents do, so here we are. It will be nice to have a long weekend and some extra hands.

I am excited to run a 5K! I don't know what the course is like and it's not until 10 a.m., which doesn't bode well for weather. BUT maybe I can inch closer to that sub-20 goal. That would be so awesome to PR. But I am trying not to be greedy, I just got my 7K PR down.

I just can't believe August is halfway over - this summer really flew by, I feel like I am still trying to squeeze so many things in. I also know Keegan is only little once, so I am just trying to savor it. He is at a hard age though, he gets frustrated he can't communicate with us, so we have had our fair share of tantrums (especially when leaving the park!). But he is also so silly and creative.

On a positive note, I only have a four-day workweek! I can do it!

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aprillikesthings · 6 years

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On the one hand: my current job is relatively low stress. I know what I’m doing by now. I get along with my coworkers, I get along with the residents (many of whom really like me). I work four days most weeks, though sometimes I do three days or five days. I have enough energy and time to write when I’m not full-time.

But on the other hand: it also doesn’t pay that great. I make $13.50 an hour. Minimum wage where I live is $12.

And I keep thinking of getting a job that’s similar but better-paid--I was applying for medical receptionist jobs a few years ago. My chances of getting a job like that are higher now that I have receptionist experience. (Nearly three years’ worth!) OHSU (the local big university hospital) pays their receptionists something like $17 to start. I know of several residents who want to be my reference if I look for something better-paid.

Buuuuut.....those jobs are going to be more difficult and more stressful. I’m not gonna have time at work to fuck around reading The Guardian or writing fanfiction. They’re all full-time, afaik. Most of them are normal weekday hours, and I am terrible in the mornings. (Though some of them apparently do have swing schedules, and/or compressed workweeks, aka four ten-hour days.) The possibility of getting fired ‘cause I suck at managing my time or I’m late too often or whatever is not fun, and neither is the possibility of being so exhausted outside of work that I can’t write or make food or socialize. Bleh.

I dunno.

(not really looking for advice, mostly just thinking out loud.)

#my life

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lindafrancois · 3 years

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How to Stop Stress Eating: 3 Uncommon Tools for Ending Emotional Eating

All of us have plenty of stress in our lives.

After the last year we’ve had, your stress level may have quadrupled.

If you find yourself responding by “stress eating,” know that you are not alone.

One of the top issues faced by clients in our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program is emotional or stress eating. After 2020 being all 2020 like (and 2021 having its own challenges), these episodes have only increased.

You’re not alone in this. Learn how a Nerd Fitness Coach can help.

Today, we’re going to show you exactly how we address emotional eating with our clients, including when it’s – GASP – actually okay to stress eat.

Here’s what we’ll cover in today’s guide:

What is stress eating? (a video from NF Kitchen)

What causes stress eating? (Lesson #1: Playing Detective)

How do I stop mindless eating? (Lesson #2: The Stress Response Menu)

How common is stress eating? (Lesson #3: Learning Self-Compassion)

Is it ever okay to stress eat? (Next steps)

Let’s jump right in.

What Is Stress Eating? (A Video from NF Kitchen)

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The above video from Coach Justin comes from the Nerd Fitness Prime “Mindset” video series.

Justin covers three important lessons I want to highlight, but before we do that, we should ask ourselves a question:

“What exactly is stress eating?”

Stress eating is consuming food in response to negative emotions like fear, anger, or sadness.

When we stress eat, food is being used to solve a problem. Now, unless we’re actually hungry, it’s likely a problem that food itself isn’t meant to solve.

That’s stress or emotional eating.

Here’s what compounds the whole problem: stress eating itself can make us feel guilty. We often feel terrible once our spoon hits the bottom of the pint of ice cream.

This can drive more negative emotions, which can trigger even more stress eating.

And the pattern continues.

We’ll talk about ways to break this cycle in a moment, but before we do, we need to create some tools to identify it in the first place.

What Causes Stress Eating? (Lesson #1: Playing Detective)

You may have been surprised in our video above when Coach Justin gives permission to stress eat.

Counterintuitive and seemingly counterproductive, I know. But this is going to be important for two reasons.

How to Approach Stress Eating Step #1: we need to curb the guilty feelings about stress or emotional eating.

I started this guide off by highlighting the frequency of stress eating amongst our Online Coaching clients.

You are not the only one struggling with this.

Most humans do.

And robots with human-like emotions and taste buds

We’ll come back to this idea again, because ending the shame of emotional eating will be critical for moving forward.

How to Approach Stress Eating Step #1: allowing ourselves to stress eat will help us learn why we do it.

We’re going to be playing detective here, to see if we can piece apart your actions and routines.

At the end of the day, our lives are a cumulation of habits. Stress eating is one such habit.

So let’s learn about it!

To do so, we’re gonna need to record some Emotional Eating Notes.

During an episode of stress eating, it’s important to ask ourselves:

What am I doing?

What am I feeling? (Both physically and emotionally)

What am I thinking about?

What time is it?

Where am I?

Who am I with?

Ideally, we’ll start to ask yourself these questions:

An hour or two before the eating episode

Right before it

During it

Right after it

The purpose of these Emotional Eating Notes?

To look for patterns!

Perhaps you’ll notice some of the following:

“After my recent Tuesday morning conference call, when I got grilled by my company’s leadership, I grabbed some chocolate chip cookies. This happened the week before too.”

“Around 2pm, when I get the ‘afternoon slumps,’ I normally grab a Coca-Cola. This little boost gets me through the end of the day. This is almost a daily practice.”

“Last Sunday evening, when thinking about the start of the workweek, I had a couple glasses of wine. When looking back at my notes, this takes place at the end of most weekends.”

We’re looking for patterns to help us understand what drives our stress eating.

The most important thing about this process: withholding judgment.

We’re looking at our notes for clues into our psyche. Whatever we captured is okay.

If you order pizza every Thursday after talking with your overbearing mom (of course, she means well), step one is to recognize it.

Oftentimes, this awareness step alone can help shift behavior. “Oh, I’m reaching for a beer like I normally do after ending my workday. Typical Me.”

After creating some notes on what spurs our emotional eating, it’s time to think about some alternatives for coping with stress.

How Do I Stop Mindless Eating? (Lesson #2: The Stress Response Menu)

After documenting what sets off our stress eating, we need to formulate a plan on what to do when our anxiety rises.

That means it’s time to build…a Stress Response Menu!

Our Stress Response Menu will be a list of actions or activities you can do to de-stress outside of eating.

Ideally, you’ll do them before an eating episode, but they can be done during or after the fact too.

In other words, if you only realized you were stress eating when your hand reaches the bottom of the Doritos bag, no problem, you can do your stress response activity right then.

The purpose of the Stress Response Menu is to reward yourself with a small moment of self-love, whenever your anxiety levels are too much.

Here are some ideas for activities to place on your Stress Response Menu:

Close your eyes and take five deep breaths (Coach Justin’s go-to move)

Drink a large glass of water

Take a short walk

Go listen to one of your favorite songs

Do a quick stretching routine

Write in your journal

Play with your dog

Shout at the sky

The more the activity from your Stress Response Menu can match your personal goals, the better.

In other words, if you’re trying to build muscle, some push-ups might be the perfect de-stresser.

Just make sure it’s something you won’t dread doing.

A combination of a “de-stressor” and a “reward.”

This is important, as Coach Justin mentions that many of his clients only reward themselves with food. The self-love they practice only takes place in the kitchen.

Our menu above will help us develop some more options, not solely based on food.

To make the most of your Stress Response Menu:

#1) Make the activities short and easy.

You should feel confident that you can do every item on your list. So avoid activities that will take longer than 10 minutes to complete.

Also, set yourself up for success by hacking your Batcave:

If you’re going to journal when stressed, keep your diary open on your work desk.

If you’re going to drink water before any emotional eating, keep your full glass near you.

If you’re going to take a short walk, keep your kicks near the door.

Don’t set yourself up for failure by picking overly complicated or burdensome activities.

#2) Place your Stress Response Menu somewhere visible.

Once you make your list, print it out and place it in your kitchen or pantry (or wherever you typically stress eat).

You could also write out a couple of your favorite activities and attach them to your refrigerator.

If it’s right in front of you, it’ll be harder to ignore (however, it’s okay to ignore it from time to time, as we aren’t striving for perfection).

Just please don’t write it and then stick the list in the junk drawer that opens to another dimension.

You never can find anything in that drawer.

#3)Track your usage of the Stress Response Menu.

This will help us in two ways:

First, by tracking your usage, you’ll start to feel better about using the SRM. You’ll see an accumulation of all the times you successfully deployed a stress response, helping you visualize the momentum you’re building.

Second, the data will help you understand your patterns of emotional eating. Maybe five deep breaths steered you away from ice cream but the large glass of water did not. You can then use this information to update and revise your response plan.

For the first point, Coach Justin has his clients keep a “Jar of Awesome.”

Every time they have a small win in the day, like taking five deep breaths instead of chugging soda, they place a marble or small token in a jar. After a while, the jar will have a decent amount of marbles or “small wins” in it.

This will then stand as a visual reminder of all the progress being made, proof of their ongoing wins.

Want to start a “Jar of Awesome” with a NF Coach? Learn more here!

How Common Is Stress Eating? (Lesson #3: Learning Self-Compassion)

The American Psychological Association has found that about a third of Americans respond to stress with food.[1]

This research was done BEFORE our global pandemic.

So if you find yourself binging in response to the stress of our global pandemic, know that you are not alone here.

Our coaching clients, and the NF Coaches themselves, have all found themselves turning to food and alcohol for comfort during quarantine.

Heck, recently I mindlessly devoured an entire tub of Animal Crackers too. It was only when the bag was gone did I understand what just happened.

Many of us, even fitness “experts,” are prone to stress eating.

Now, don’t take this as a free pass to stress eat.

If the behavior goes against your goals, it’s something we want to work towards improving.

But there’s a reason they call it “comfort food.” Food can often be used to make us happier, pandemic or no pandemic.

And we’re all emotional bags of meat of this floating hunk of space rock, and we’re doing the best we can.

So give yourself a bit of a break, my friend.

You’re here, you’re reading, and you’re trying. That’s great!

This will bring me to my last point with our handy guide:

Is It Okay to Stress Eat? (Next Steps)

There are times when food is the perfect response to stress.

It’s something Coach Justin mentions in his video.

“Stress eating” might be appropriate if:

After a long workday, a glass of wine with cheese helps you unwind.

To celebrate the coming of the weekend, you have an ice cream party on Friday night.

The week already seems long, and it just started, “Taco Tuesday” might help you survive until Friday.

The important thing here?

“We are making a choice.”

We are choosing to deal with stress or anxiety with food. By making it an intentional activity, we can remove the guilt around emotional eating.

Food can be fine as a reward, as long as it’s us controlling the behavior, and not the food itself.

In addition, if we can recognize the action (or plan for it), we can then adjust our calories before and after and not go off the rails.

(You can calculate your recommended total daily calorie intake here, by the way!)

If it seems like you aren’t quite there yet, start with your Emotional Eating Notes and your Stress Response Menu.

Even just the process of taking notes on specific episodes of stress eating may be enough to slow down the behavior.

Remember, no matter what happens:

You are not a bad person if you stress eat.

You are not a bad person if you forget to take notes.

You are not a bad person if you ignore your Stress Response Menu.

You are not a bad person (unless you’re a Death Eater, but come on, you know what side you’re on).

If you need any help along the way, we are here for you.

We have three specific paths to continue with Nerd Fitness:

#1) Our Online Coaching program: a coaching program for busy people to help them make better food choices, stay accountable, and get healthier, permanently.

As I said before, “stress eating” is the number one issued faced by our coaching clients, so we know exactly how to help recognize and address the habit.

You can schedule a free call with our team so we can get to know you and see if our coaching program is right for you:

Our coaching program changes lives. Learn how!

#2) If you want an exact blueprint leveling up your nutrition, check out Nerd Fitness Journey! Our fun habit-building app helps you exercise more frequently, eat healthier, and level up your life (literally).

If you follow our Mindset missions, you’ll learn to de-stress while earning XP! Sah-weeeet.

Try your free trial right here:

#3) Join the Rebellion! We need good people like you in our community, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion.

Sign up in the box below to enlist and get our Rebel Starter Kit, which includes all of our “work out at home” guides, the Nerd Fitness Diet Cheat Sheet, and much more!

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

Alright, I want to hear from you:

Have you been stress eating more over the last year?

Do you have any tips or tricks to interrupt the pattern?

What’s your favorite way to de-stress?

Let me know in the comments!

-Steve

P.S. If you’re struggling to keep a normal routine after the pandemic, check out How to Stay in Shape (Without Leaving the House).

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madmaryholiday · 6 years

Text

feeling melancholic for some reason.

maybe because i have to go back to work tomorrow, regardless of whether i feel up to it? (we’re only allowed to miss two days at a time before we have to file for a formal leave of absence, and i am not gonna deal with that shit.)

maybe i’m just feeling isolated.

or maybe it’s just that familiar regret at having had a good chunk of free time and having done nothing interesting with it.

i’ve been having a lot of... stress dreams, i guess. they’re not quite nightmares, but they make me wake up feeling fundamentally disquieted. not that i don’t have stress dreams a lot anyway, but i feel like they’re ramping up in frequency and severity as of late.

might just be because of my back problems (stress likes to manifest itself in weird ways, and i’ve definitely been stressed about my back lately).

but also like....idk.

i’m thinking about people i shouldn’t. that’s probably not helping things. i wish things at work were more settled down so i could get back to working through my unresolved traumas in therapy. i feel like that would help right about now. or that it would if i wasn’t too distracted by work woes and chronic pain to do it.

this morning, i woke up at 4am to use the bathroom and, upon returning to bed, immediately started down that “what if i’m actually a terrible person and my niceness is just me manipulating people for my personal gain” spiral. i don’t know what set it off, but it certainly didn’t help the stress dreams.

i’m taking my meds. i’m eating regularly and staying reasonably hydrated. i’m getting plenty of sleep. (the quality of that sleep has been pretty poor, but i’m doing my best, here.) i’m trying to get out of my room and interact with my family more. i’m reading things that make me happy, and i’m watching doll repaint/modification videos on youtube.

i don’t know how to shake this general gross feeling.

maybe i should’ve let myself have a little freakout last night instead of going to bed early. maybe that would’ve gotten this unpleasantness out of my system. i mean, i don’t generally advocate deliberately triggering mental breakdowns, but i find that if a depressive episode is dragging on too long, a small, semi-controlled meltdown can help speed things up.

at any rate, i have to get through another workweek before i can think about doing that again. i’m currently trying to steel myself to be a bother this week and not handle anything too heavy. i hate inconveniencing people, but i try to tell myself that it would be even more of an inconvenience if i had to take medical leave. so hopefully i can find it in me to stick up for myself and gently but stubbornly request items that won’t put me at risk of further injury.

it’s late enough, i guess, that i can justify going to bed. maybe. i’ll go to bed regardless, i suppose. and i’ll try not to dwell on things i shouldn’t. but don’t be surprised if i pop in at 3am with another melancholic ramble, i guess. do take care, darlings, and remember that i love you all.

#thoughts #fun with mental illness #fun with chronic pain

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