#i already put my own background for him i just think it’s fascinating how he went from detective -> handler 😭

[dollsuguru]

shiu kong has no right to be so sexy & mysterious… if you see me writing a fic about him in the future……….. just know………. that’s MY man

#put me in a room w him and toji… oh you don’t wanna know what happens next #he’s so cool and sexy and alluring and his background is so??? LIKE AHHHHHHH #i already put my own background for him i just think it’s fascinating how he went from detective -> handler 😭 #idk if i can write him well though bc :> #he makes me soooooo :3 shy #personal

[seawing-vibes]

Decided to fill out a template from @/falling-skyzz I feel normal about . The dragons ! List of characters & design & dynamic thoughts under the cut <3

Also If anyone else fills out thus template feel free to send me the post,, I would love to see other people filling this out!!! I love templates !!

Secretkeeper & Moon • I understand theres a lot of reasonable hate for Secretkeeper but!!! I find her & moon to be a very fascinating pair! To make a long ass thought short, I think Secretkeeper is the embodiment of “product of her environment & deeply traumatize & projecting”. I think she genuinely really loves moon but obviously expresses that through being “”protective””. But I think shes genuinely a character with a capacity for change & realizing the autonomy Moon has over her own powers. Also from the perspective of Moon I think her arc around her relationship with her mom could be really interesting, especially as Secretkeepers authority becomes challenged in Moons life & she has to confront the bullshit her mother has put her through. Overall very very interesting pair I think about them a lot.

Design Note: Secretkeeper is duller in color than Moon & has less stars due to lack of moon light on the island! Also the scales around her mouth are almost completely black, making her mouth barely visible, giving her the name “Secretkeeper” as she “has no mouth to tell others secrets.”

Tsunami & Starflight • Just one of my fav siblings! This specific illustration is from the Arena Scene in Dragonet Prophesy! I really really love Tsu & Starflights dynamic of looking up to eachother & their development together just. So neat!

Design Note: Starflight has very few constellation marks in this illustration as he hasnt spent much time under moonlight quite yet!

Shark & Abalone • One of my more out-there ships! I based this on the thought that Shark was once close with Abalone (cough. Husbands.) and that relates to why he was willing to give Tortoise a lunch-break from watching the eggs. He already saw someone close to him die from being overworked to watch the clutch, he didn’t want to watch another dragon die from his sisters selfishness. I could write an essay on these two I swear

Deisgn Note: Shark is based on a tiger shark & abalone is based on real abalones! hes one of my fav designs here

Six-Claws & Ostrich • He’s just a sweet dad! the little we see of him he seems to really love her & vice-versa <3 they’re just neat

Design Note: Six-Claws is based on a king cobra & is a specific sub-“species” of hooded Sandwings ! Burn found his hood mutation & six-claws super interesting

Tamarin & Pike • My fav background friendship! They’re just fun. I like Pike just chillin out around Tamarin & describing flower colors to her to the best of his ability (she just likes to hear him ramble about a shared interest)

Design Notes: I updated how I draw Tamarins eyes to properly resemble a blind-born dragon ! Also Pike’s deisgn got some yellow in it and I really like it <3

Whiteout & Thoughtful • I just think they’re neat!! They just seem like a sweet pair love them

Design Note: none really! Just experimenting with a rando Thoughtful design that I tossed together for my “ships tier list”

Tsunami • Its just her :) my fav dragon <3!!! I definitely dont think she upholds the “princess” title once she gets older, her only link to the throne is by Coral insisting monthly visits but Tsu otherwise wouldn’t be any interesting in royal life I would imagine

Design Note: Shes caught a waaururrghh something im going bonkers I cant remember what fish that is and my reference photo seems to have dissipated into the cosmos

Anemone • I LOVE HER. SO MUCH ! Anemone haters BACK OFF!!!! Her relationship to her powers is so fucked man. Something you’d think would give her power & control is just a key by which others use to manipulate and abuse her like . Man :( shes literally never had any autonomy over her own identity & intermingled her powers into her identity So Much only for that aspect of herself to also be revealed to be a facade for someone else’s desires like. GUH I love her so much I hope shes having a good day I dont care what anyone says she deserves to be a brat and I support her for it

Design Note: none really! The stars in her talons are just metaphorical though

Snowflake & Snowfox • THE OGS!!!!!! MY FAVORITE PROBLEMATIC LESBIANS <3 Ahhh remember in the early days when they were considered the #1 most problematic ship because they were gay and also evil. I love the evil lesbians so much they’re so shitty sorry Darkstalker Snowfox should’ve been queen I would’ve loved to see that go down it’d be so silly

Design Notes: Snowfox is based on an arctic fox shedding into their summer coat!! I know its p . Away from canon descriptors of her but it was sm fun to illustrate so shhh <3 Snowflake is just grey & blueish per-canon but shes sooo fun. love her.

Okay thats all here are the individual illustrations now !!!!! Because why not !!! If these aren’t transparent its all over

#if youre wondering why I haven’t linked the template it’s because it wont ! let me add a link for some reason! tumblr normal moments! #BUT GUH THIS BEAST IS FAINALLY BEHIND ME I dunno why this was so hard to work on #BUT IT WAS SUPER FUN <33 #art #tideart #designin #WoF #Secretkeeper #Moonwatcher #Tsunami #Tsunami WoF #Starflight #Shark #Commander Shark #Abalone #Abalone wof #Six-Claws #Ostrich #Tamarin #Pike #Pike Wof #Thoughtful #Whiteout #Anemone #Snowflake #Snowfox

[poisonous-honey]

Nahida’s Precious Tailor

The little lord of Sumeru calls upon your aid as she wishes for a wardrobe change.

Who’s Here: Reader/Player, Nahida, Wanderer, Kaveh, and Alhaitham makes a short appearance

Contains: Cursing, SAGAU (Self Aware Genshin Alternate Universe), Artist/Tailor Reader, Reader isn’t explicitly shipped with anyone so you can make do however you wish

Note: Inspired by @sunnysolaria. Not their exact ask, I just had fun making this (～￣▽￣)～ (i.e. this basically word vomit)

====

Time ticks by as you and Nahida sit in the middle of the Sanctuary of Surasthana. You can vaguely hear the sounds of children singing softly in the background which makes it a bit more eerie to be here, but you push it away to try and focus on the task asked of you. Nahida looks on in wonder as you continue to ponder, not noticing you’ve started to mumble out loud. 

“I knew you liked to waste your own time, but I thought you’d at least be decent enough to spare others from your terrible habits.”

Hearing Wanderer you’re snapped out of your thoughts and turn your eyes away from Nahida to see him arrive. Your mind, still a jumbled mess, can barely recall what he said to make a proper retort. You assume he insulted you so you open your mouth hoping to say any form of comeback.

“Sup.” 

Of course, you didn’t. 

Nahida quickly spreads her arms wide taking Wanderer’s scrutinizing eyes off your form, allowing you to collect your thoughts better.

“I’ve asked them to be my tailor! They’re helping me think of outfit designs! Some of the ones they’ve already thought of have been fascinating!”

You blank for a sec upon hearing that. You’re happy she liked some of the designs you thought of, but you forgot she could read your mind at all. Trying to shake the thought that she could read your mind whenever she pleases, you turn to Wanderer to shoo him away.

“Yeah I’m actually here for important business, so if you could skedaddle somewhere else for a bit that’d be great.”

He ignores you and keeps his attention focused on Nahida, which has you silently cursing under your breath.

“Why do you even need new clothes? Let alone asking the Player to design and make them for you. Their sense of fashion is atrocious.”

You gasp and put your hand to your chest. You’re about to tell him your clothes were for sure more comfortable than anything he could be wearing, but Nahida cuts you off.

“Before the Player landed in Teyvat, they would sometimes bring up pictures of everyone with different clothes. Some people looked completely different from how they are now.”

Your brow raises as you cock your head. You didn’t think they could see anything outside the game when you were playing. They were too good at hiding everything they were able to do to your device. Or maybe it was just Nahida, that would be better for your peace of mind.

“Oh, so you saw your beta designs? Is that why you asked me specifically?”

Nahida nods her head, “Partly. It’s why I wanted to try something different, but I haven’t actually seen my own alternative designs. I can’t say I’m not still curious to see them.”

Your eyes brighten just a little. “I can still show you if you want me too! It’s all saved to a photo album on my phone. I’d just have to find it.”

She leans in closer to you with curiosity and marvel on her face. You take that as a yes and take-out your phone to start looking for it. During the time it takes you to find the set of pictures Wanderer ends up sitting next to you and staring at all the pictures you pass by. As soon as you find Nahida’s beta designs and hand her your phone, Wanderer starts to come at you.

“Wow, someone’s obsessed.”

Your head whips to his direction, and you look at him with a mix of disdain and embarrassment. The sadistic pleasure is very visible on his face as he continues.

“Over 2000 pictures dedicated to us? And a lot of them seem to be of the same person. I wonder what they’d think if they knew you had sections dedicated to them in your photo gallery.”

Shame shimmers underneath your skin the more he talks. You’re glad he only saw the folder number. You stopped organizing your pictures in folders a long time ago so you can’t imagine how much you have now. If he knew the actual number you’d probably die on the spot. Even so, you don’t want to take shit from this fucking edgelord.

“Oh shut the fuck up! I didn’t know any of you were even real at the time I just liked the game okay.”

He arches his brow and rests his head on his hand, still carrying that shit-eating grin, “The fact you thought we weren’t even sentient just makes this more pathetic.”

Wanderer soon brings up the pictures he saw of himself on your phone which has you combusting on the spot. Nahida continues to stare at her beta designs, ignoring the “argument” going on between you two. She examines them for a bit longer before tapping your shoulder to get your attention and holds out your phone for you to take back.

You quickly take it and hide the source of your shame, giving Wanderer the middle finger while you're at it. You focus as much on Nahida as you can, with him laughing in the background. 

“Did you like any of them?”

Nahida stares at you intently for a moment before saying anything. “Player, would you have preferred it if I looked like one of these designs?”

You’re stunned for a sec before panic quickly sets in. Of course, she was probably reading your mind to see what you thought of them. You thought they were all pretty interesting, but you didn’t want her thinking you thought they were superior. You vaguely hear Wanderer tease you for managing to upset such a forgiving god and Nahida saying that she wasn’t upset, just asking, but it’s in one ear and out the other amidst your frantic state.

“Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no Nahida you got the wrong idea!” You take your phone back out before gesturing to the whole page of beta designs. “Yeah I think these designs are cool, some more than others but that’s beside the point! I like you Nahida even if your dress looks like a shuttlecock-”

“What are you even saying-”

“Stop focusing on the unimportant Wanderer.”

He scoffs at you and rolls his eyes.

“But you’re you. For a lot of these I think they had a different vision of you in mind when drawing these.”

Nahida puts her hands on yours and only then did you realize how much you were fidgeting. She smiles warmly at you, “There’s no need to be so nervous. I was just asking!”

You deflate in relief, “Thank goodness. I guess back to my last question then… Did you like any of them? If you thought one of them was pretty good I could make that for you?”

She thinks on it for a moment and ultimately shakes her head, “I did like a couple, but I’d rather you make me something new! There’s a reason these weren’t chosen, and you said it yourself they don’t make you think of me. I know you put your heart into the clothes you make, so a design made by you, for me, is perfect.”

You smile at her. Her faith in you to make something good for her fills you with pride.

“I’ll do my best for you.”

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Wanderer opening his mouth, probably to talk more shit, so before he can say anything you make a show of stretching and square him straight in his face. He roughly grabs your hand and pushes it away from him, staring at you with the fiercest scowl you’ve seen from him. You merely smirk in his direction.

“Oh I’m so sorry, I forgot you were there. I was just trying to stretch, no hard feelings yeah?”

You put your phone away again and get up to leave, waving goodbye to Nahida and ignoring Wanderer’s pointed gaze as you walk towards the door. Nahida cheerfully waves back and Wanderer silently seethes in his place. 

⭐⭐⭐⭐

On your way down to the ground floor of the city you continue to brainstorm multiple ideas to potentially make for Nahida. Dresses, regal robes, bejewelled shirts, and big pants. Should you try to lean into her godhood? Maybe go for a nature theme or add more computer-Esq patterns into the design. Should you give the poor girl shoes? You’re so deep in thought you don’t realize how close you had gotten to the edge of the pathway. A stray tree branch catches your foot, and you trip, snapping out of your mind to see houses and merchant stalls.

Luckily before you could plummet onto some poor person’s roof you’re caught by your arm and roughly pulled away from the ledge and into someone’s chest. You both fall to the ground and a small group of students that witnessed your mishap crowded around you.

“Oh my Archons, are you two okay?” “Do you need any help?” “Can we get you anything?”

“I’m fine thank you, but Player, are you okay?”

“Kaveh!?”

You get up and turn around to see it was indeed Kaveh that had saved you from cracking your head open on one of the rooftops below. He’s helped up by one of the others, and he stares at you intently.

“Yes it’s me, but seriously are you okay?”

You hear some of the others murmuring questions, mostly asking if you’re okay. “Yeah I’m fine. Thank you, really.”

You, of course, take this moment to hug him which Kaveh immediately reciprocates. “Gods you need to be more careful. You nearly scared me half to death.”

He peels himself away from you when he notices the others are still worried about you. The few students around ask if you’re sure you’re okay and fawn over you a little before leaving you in Kaveh’s care. As you’re waving bye you feel Kaveh’s hand rest on your shoulder which has you turn to look at him, his gaze still filled with concern.

“Are you sure you-”

“Yes Kaveh. You saved me, I’m fine.”

You grab his hand and hold it in front of you. It looked like he wanted to say a lot more, but he eventually settled and gazed at you softly, tightening his grip on your hand just a bit. “I’m glad. So what’s weighing so heavily on your mind that you can’t look up to notice your surroundings?”

You fidget under his stare for a second, not being able to remember until you see Wanderer flying off somewhere in the distance. It feels like you were hit with a brick as you remember the important task that was given to you. As you turn back to Kaveh to explain, you stop to look at what he’s wearing. It’s his normal outfit, but taking it all in you realize you don’t know what makes Sumeru wear… Sumeru wear. You’re pulled into your thoughts again and about to walk off before Kaveh pulls you back a little, clearly confused.

“Hold on, where are you going??”

Oh yeah, you had forgotten he asked you a question. “Nahida asked me if I could design new clothes for her. I was thinking of ideas earlier, but now I see all of them were lacking. None of them really looked like Sumeru clothes so now I need to do research since,” You look over Kaveh’s outfit again and take a glance at the people around you, “I don’t even know where to start.”

His brows furrow, and his hand moves to his chin. You want to chuckle seeing him do the thinking idle animation, but you don’t want him to start overthinking his existence again over something so trivial. Suddenly, Kaveh grabs you by your shoulders and his face ends up really close to yours.

“I can help you! If you want me to, that is.”

You stare at Kaveh in slight surprise. You guess you should've known he’d want to help with your artistic endeavours.

“You know how to make clothes?”

He falters a bit, but is still as enthusiastic as before, “Well no, but I do know a thing or two about style. I learned more than just how to make a building during my time at the Academia you know.”

He playfully pokes your forehead, and you swat his hand away with a smile. “Yeah I wasn’t thinking. I’d definitely appreciate your help.”

“Perfect! We can start by heading to the Grand Bazaar. Oh, but first I have to drop off my materials. I was on my way to do that before I had to drop everything to keep you from falling.”

You look past him to see a ton of blueprints and rulers and a ton of other materials. Making your way over you start to pick everything up for him, Kaveh soon following suit. You hear him mumbling, hoping nothing broke in his rush. Guilt creeps up your spine seeing him fret over every item he picks up.

“... Sorry.”

His head snaps to your direction hearing you apologize and quickly tries to calm any guilt you currently feel. “Please it’s okay, besides it doesn’t seem like anything’s broken. If you still want to make it up to me then try taking better care of yourself.”

You huff and continue to help him collect his things off the floor. “That’s a tall ask, but I’ll try for you.”

“You better.”

You finish gathering all of Kaveh’s materials and help him carry them on the way to Alhaitham’s despite all his protests saying he could do it himself.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

“What are you doing here??”

“This is my house, or did you forget?”

You honestly weren’t expecting to see Alhaitham today. You were pretty sure you caught sight of him in the Academia on your way to the Sanctuary or Surasthana so you assumed he was working. Judging by Kaveh’s reaction, you guess that’s what he was supposed to be doing.

Kaveh scoffs, “Never mind. Player, can you hand me the rest of my things? You can wait here while I put them all away.”

Kaveh carefully brings his materials over to his room, and you decide to sit next to Alhaitham as you wait for him to put them away. He’s currently reading something you have no hope of ever understanding. You’re content to sit here in silence as you wait not wanting to bother him, when he starts talking, not even taking his eyes off the book he’s reading.

“You nearly had quite the fall earlier. You’re quite lucky Kaveh was able to catch you in time.”

It takes you a bit to register what he was referring to, but when it settles you gawk at him, barely believing what he’s insinuating.

“Wait, so you saw me nearly fall to my death, and didn’t even bother to check up on me??”

He closes his book with a snap and turns to look at you. Moments like this make you wish you were able to read him, his passive face making it near impossible to tell what he was thinking. You watch as he reaches for something behind him and pulls out a small heart-shaped gold and green box with a soft glow. He hands it to you without saying a word.

You take it and inspect it for a while, not being able to figure out what it is. You don’t see any clasps or hinges to be able to open it so you’re filled with nothing but questions.

“What’s this for?”

“Consider it my apology for not checking up on you earlier. Open it later.”

You huff and nod your head. Realizing you're probably not going to get anymore out of him you change the topic, talking to him about whatever you feel like as you wait for Kaveh. You’re in the middle of explaining the task Nahida gave you and the research you’re about to do when Kaveh finally steps out of his room.

“Everything's put away, we can head off now!”

You get up excited and skip to the front door, not realizing Alhaitham getting up as well. Kaveh does though and swiftly starts to question him. 

“Where are you going? Back to work I’d hope.”

That has you turning around right before the door.

“I have some things I need to acquire at the Bazaar. Since you’re also going I thought to simply come along.”

You smile, you appreciate the thought, but feel Kaveh won’t in the slightest.

“Oh no you’re not coming with us! Knowing you, you’d try to but in with your own ‘advice’ when you don’t even understand the first thing about art. The clothes our Player is designing are for Lord Kusanali. Any help that you could provide would only serve to make the design a disaster.”

Your face falls as Kaveh starts an argument with Alhaitham, exactly what you expected. You debate dragging him away, but decide against it, saying you’ll wait for him outside. The only sign that he heard you is the slight turn of his head before you step outside yourself.

As you exit you look at the heart-shaped box Alhaitham gave you. You’re far too impatient to wait until you get home to see what’s inside, but you don’t know how to open it. You fiddle with it for a while when you hear the door open and close. Turning around you see Kaveh step outside and shove the box in his direction. 

“Huh? What’s this?”

“Alhaitham gave this to me, but I have no idea how to open it. Can you maybe, help me?”

He complains under his breath hearing Alhaitham’s name, but does take it from you to inspect it. Barely any time passes when he realizes what it is and presses on the jewel in the centre of the box. You flinch as wings suddenly pop out from its sides. Kaveh hands it back to you, and you stare at it with glee. He gave you a Sumeru styled glider.

“What a coincidence.”

You roll your eyes and try pressing the jewel to get the wings to retract, which it does, and tell Kaveh to shush. 

“Give him the benefit of the doubt just this once. I’ll have to thank him later. Anyway, what was the plan again?”

A smile finally forms on his face, and he goes over the plan he concocted “Yes! First we’ll stop by the Grand Bazaar, the Zubayr Theatre will have plenty of costumes that we can look at. I also know a few market stalls that sell fabric-”

You listen to him go on for a while when your eyes start to wander, and it’s when your eyes land on someone rummaging through their clothes looking for something you remember Kaveh’s and Alhaitham’s shared idle animation. He had them earlier, but just to make sure you decide to ask anyway.

“Sorry to interrupt, but you have your keys right Kaveh?

Kaveh stops and turns to you. You see his face contort multiple times, like he’s struggling to decide whether he should feel offended or not, before sighing.

“Of course I do, they're right… Uhh.”

You cross your arms and stare at him with as much disappointment you could muster. You watch as his face turns red as he continues patting himself down. Soon he gives up and slumps.

“... I think I left them with all of my things.”

You raise an eyebrow. “How did you even-”

“I have no idea. Give me a sec I’ll go get them.”

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Nahida twirls around in front of a mirror much larger than her, looking at the clothing you made for her from all angles. Her green mantelet swirls around her, the edge covered in padisarah designs and her bell chiming with every movement. The coat underneath a darker shade filled with swirls and flowing behind her legs. The necklace you gave her thumping against the sleeveless white shirt. In case she wanted some type of sleeves you also made white add-on sleeves with golden cufflets. Where the shirt ends, beads were placed to separate the blue and purple scarf around her waist. It had pale yellow ruffles that flowed over her pants. The pants are fairly puffy, also white and stop right above her ankles. You also decided to make her shoes, white and the same green as her mantelet with gold accents and adorned with green jewels at their tips. 

You fidget in your place behind her and mindlessly twiddle your thumbs. She hasn’t said anything yet, and it was starting to get to you. You spent a long time looking over clothes and books with Kaveh to try and understand Sumeru design, but even after all the studying you were still nervous presenting it to her. You’re at least thankful Wanderer hasn’t said anything to spite you yet.

Not wanting to be stuck in suspense any longer you just decide to ask her directly. “So Nahida… Do you like it? ‘Cause if you don’t I can make something else-”

“No I love it!” She turns and lets you see the massive smile on her face, her arms still spread wide. “I especially like the scarf. I’m not exactly sure why, but it reminds me of something I lost. I appreciate it, thank you!”

You breathe a sigh of relief. The scarf is what you were most worried about since it didn’t match the rest of the colour scheme. Especially since Kaveh had quite a bit to say about it, but you felt it to be integral. 

She then turns her attention to Wanderer, who still hasn’t said anything yet. “What do you think?”

He stares at her outfit for a moment, looking her up and down, before sighing and reluctantly giving his own opinion, “It’s… Alright.”

You elbow him in the arm for that which he barely even reacts to. “Oh come on, surely you have more to say than that.”

His brow twitches, “It’s amazing you managed to make anything presentable.”

You scoff and back away from him, “Never mind I don’t want your opinion anymore.”

Nahida claps her hands and grabs both of your attention, “I’m glad you like it too! Maybe our player can design you some new clothes as well!” 

“As if.” “Fat chance.”

You both end up dismissing the idea at the same time. The thought of working as hard as you did for Nahida on someone like Wanderer makes you want to die. He probably wouldn’t even try it on.

You then remember Kaveh wanted you to tell him everything after once you finished up here. Knowing him he’s been letting this eat away at his thoughts, so you should probably head off now.

You relay this to both of them, Nahida nods in understanding before waving cheerfully and Wanderer just walks off, causing you to roll your eyes. You wave back to Nahida and as you turn around you suddenly trip and fall face-first into the floor.

“Oh, sorry. I was just trying to stretch, you got in my way.”

Looking up you see Wanderer, dead faced as usual, but you can see the mirth in his eyes. Kaveh is instantly forgotten as you feel rage fill you and bubble under your skin. He starts to walk towards the exit, and you hop up to follow him, yelling and cussing him out as you try to catch up. Nahida watches on with a small smile, clutching the scarf in her hands.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 

Thanks for reading! 

Here’s the sketch I made to try and better describe her clothing. I’m terrible at describing clothing and wish I could just beam the perfect descriptors onto the page lmao.

I’m not exactly happy with the colour scheme (The cloak/mantelet reminds me too much of Collei’s), but this was the first time I’ve designed anything more complicated than a sweater and hoodie lol. I’m still proud I managed to come up with anything. As to why I gave importance to the scarf, it’s ‘cause I tried to make it look like a Rukkhashava Mushroom. 

“A fungus that grows in layers upon layers, like a sea of clouds, and which mostly grows on trees deep in the rainforest. Therefore, they are considered by the people of Sumeru to be the holy crystallization of Rukkhadevata's legacy. In Sumeru, those who dwell in the forest have a tradition of offering Rukkhashava Mushrooms to the Akademiya, but no one knows what these offerings are meant to be used for. Word has it that the Akademiya always performs a secret annual ritual at the Sanctuary of Surasthana, during which the sages will consume these mushrooms to commemorate Lord Rukkhadevata's sacrifice.”

And here’s her beta designs from Hoyo if you’re interested

#Genshin x reader #Sagau #Self Aware Genshin #Kaveh x Reader #Wanderer x Reader #Nahida & Reader #X Reader #Reader Insert #I could barely read this over when I finished so if there’s any spelling mistakes please don’t tell me #This is all over the place #but I had fun #Also I realized when writing this I love people arguing and bantering #Being able to argue with others with no real malice behind it or any hard feelings is peak relationship to me #Pois.Writes #Pois.Posts

[doggone-devil]

How (Not) to Summon a Demon: Chapter 5

Chapter 5 is here! After this, we're gonna start getting into some actual plot! I'm excited hehe Pairing: Alastor x fem!Reader No warnings today~ :3

As you step into your car, you shouldn’t be surprised when Alastor voices his recognition of the neighborhood. He notes how the streets have surely changed along with new houses, but some of the buildings were around when he was alive. He continues to make comments, telling you about how things use to be as you drive him around. It’s fascinating to hear, learning something new about your hometown. You feel like you’re getting to connect to the city better than most, having your very own historic tour guide.

Now that was a funny thought. Alastor becoming a tour guide. He would make a killing with how much he actually knew about New Orleans and its rich background.

“It’s such a shame,” Alastor states. You glance at him quickly before returning your eyes to the road.

“What is?”

“The thrill of the night, my dear. Such a wonderful experience of which you nor anyone born after my time will have.”

“What do you mean?”

Alastor shifts in the seat, facing you a bit more instead of looking out the window. “In the 1920s, alcohol was highly illegal. We had to sneak about into speakeasies just to get a taste of the night life.” You can tell he’s reminiscing and you start to feel bad for him. Dying so young, not able to live a full life, made room for regrets. No doubt he missed his era, the people he once new. Here you were, practically dangling his old life right in front of him and forcing him to see it’s no longer the same. Maybe this was a bad idea.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble. Alastor looks at you with wide eyes, his smile almost gone if not for the very corners of his lips still slightly upturned.

“For what, my dear?”

“For,” you pause, taking a breath. How were you already about to cry? “For bringing up old memories. Reminding you of what you lost. I can’t image what that must feel like.” You manage another quick glance at him and he seems almost shocked.

He faces forward, quiet for a minute. “You’re quite the strange mortal, indeed,” he says, the smile back to stretching across his features. You frown.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Smile,” you answer. “You’re always smiling, even when I know you don’t want to.”

“What makes you think I don’t want to smile?” Alastor asks, slight offense in his tone. “My dear, you’re never fully dressed without one, as I always say!”

“Ok,” you shake your head, “but it’s not healthy to hold in other expressions. You should let them out. Frown, pout.” You make a face at him, exaggerating your bottom lip into a deep crease. Alastor coughs on a laugh, trying to bite it down.

“And be naked? Certainly not,” he states. You give up on the topic, changing it back to the city.

“So how does it feel, anyways? Being back?”

“New and yet somehow, still the same,” he says, looking out the window. “I’m not alive, like you, just taking on a physical enough form that’s tethered purely by our contract. I can’t feel the world like you are doing now.”

“I would love to say I understand, but I don’t.”

“Suppose you wouldn’t,” Alastor chuckles. “Being dead is very different than being alive, after all.”

“Did it hurt?” You didn’t mean to ask the question but it had been tugging at you in the back of your mind ever since the reality of demons and Hell became a thing for you. You put the car in neutral, parked in a random car lot. You don’t know when you two arrived there, but it was convenient as you could now fully face Alastor without having to pay attention to driving.

“It’s been so long, it’s hard to remember,” he speaks slowly. “From what I do know, no, it didn’t hurt. The fall did, though.” He shakes his head, body perking up as he looks around the car now. “Where are we, my dear?”

“Uh. Good question.” You look around to get your bearings. “Oh! Jackson Ave. There’s a nice place around the corner I like to eat at, actually.”

“Good thing I can eat cause I’m starved!” Alastor is already stepping out of the car. You go to open your door to get out, but Alastor tuts at you. “That won’t be allowed with me around, darling! Why, what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t do this much?” Now, you blushed and couldn’t stop it.

“You’d be the only one.” You let him help you out of the car. “Shame to say it, but chivalry is dead.” You don’t miss the sound of a record scratch, the sudden noise piercing your ears and making you wince.

“Darling, as long as I exist, whether in life or afterlife, chivalry will never die. Now, come along! Take me to this highly praised establishment you seem fond of!”

“I wouldn’t call it highly praised,” you giggle, taking his offered arm as the two of you begin walking down the street. “But it is nice. I go here sometimes with Veronica.”

“Veronica,” Alastor repeats the name. “She’s the one we spoke to earlier, correct? Your roommate.”

“Yours now, too, but yes, that’s her.” You take the lead and move towards a short, rectangular building. It looks like it’s made of glass, a neon open sign hanging in one of the doors. You excitedly begin to drag Alastor inside, not noticing the way your hand grasps his when you let go of his arm. Once inside, you eagerly turn to see his expression and it nearly makes you giggle.

Alastor takes in the space around him and his eyes widen, smile strained.

“So? Whatcha think, old timer?” you ask and cover your mouth to hide your laugh when his eyes get even bigger, looking down at you.

“Firstly, never call me that again,” he says, lips tight. “Secondly, what is this place?”

“Welcome to Subway, what can I get started for you?” A worker speaks up before you do, smiling friendly as they wait for your order. You move closer to the counter, Alastor in tow.

“Hi! This is actually my friend’s first time so we might be a minute, I’m sorry,” you apologize. The worker seems thrilled, nodding their head.

“Of course! We’re excited to have you!” They must see Alastor’s clear confusion as they point to the menu above them. “As you can see, we have all sorts of subs such as the classic Philly cheesesteak but of course, we have loads of ingredients for you to make your own personalized sub if preferred.” Alastor glances down at you, still lost. You shake your head with a smile and start your order first.

“I’ll have a pizza sub, toasted and on Italian Herb please,” you say with ease. It’s a favorite of yours to get most of the time you come, able to enjoy both the convenience of a sub but the pleasure of a pizza. The worker starts your first, allowing you a chance to ask Alastor what he likes. “So, you a meat or veggie person?”

“Meat,” he answers quickly, his smile almost sinister. You slowly nod, eying the choices.

“Chicken or beef?”

“Beef.” He seems excited for a second, asking, “Do they have venison?”

“Uh, I don’t think so,” you say, never hearing of someone eating venison with a sub, but then again, Alastor was from a different time. Maybe that was normal.

“A shame,” he hums, looking with you at the ingredients. The worker has yours done when they come back to get Alastor’s order. He still doesn’t know what to get so you decide to order for him, getting him a simple steak and cheese from the menu. You move down to checkout, pulling your phone out to pay, but Alastor is already placing the appropriate cash amount into the worker’s hand.

“Hey,” you protest but he stops you.

“Chivalry is alive and well,” he says and you roll your eyes. You two take your subs and walk over to an empty table. Alastor pulls out your chair before you can touch it and waits till you’ve seated before pushing it forward. You feel weird, being treated kindly like this. It makes your head spin as you remind yourself Alastor is a demon. Demons were suppose to be blood-thirsty, evil creatures hellbent on corruption and torture. Alastor was the furthest thing from those monsters you watched in horror movies. He was courteous, polite, and well mannered. It was enough to make your heart flutter which you did not like. Stupid heart.

Ignoring any more of those thoughts that tried to crawl through, you instead focused on eating, watching the way Alastor's expressions changed with every bite. The two of you finish up and leave. The warm air outside feels nice and you find yourself stretching, a yawn forcing itself out.

"Tired, my dear?" Alastor asks next to you. You check your phone. Since when did time start flying by so much?

"Yeah, getting there," you admit, "but I can still show you around?"

"Another time. For now, let's get you back home. Without adequate rest, how are you to come up with a wish?" he asks, offering his arm. Ah. The wish. Right. You take his arm and begin walking back to your car.

You hadn't thought of the wish, yet. Not because you didn't want to, really. You just couldn't seem to come up with anything and so far, you were enjoying Alastor's company. Sure Veronica was your friend and you loved spending time with her, but that time was becoming rare and few between as her work increased. She also seemed to be going to Josie's a bit more and that left you alone in the apartment, no one but yourself to be entertained by. Since Alastor appeared, you've not had a quiet moment and for that, you were surprisingly thankful. Did you really want to hurry and make that wish?

"Darling? You alright?" Your heart fluttered again, hearing Alastor call  your name. It shouldn't flutter, it shouldn't be feeling anything regardless of how sweet his voice seemed to be when talking to you. He was a demon. You were just another soul for him to collect and nothing more. You shake your head, clearing any more stupid thoughts.

"Yeah, guess I'm just more tired than I realized," you answer, realizing you're already parked in your driveway. You must have autopilot here, as scary as that was. Turning the ignition off, you manage to exit the car before Alastor had a chance to get the door for you. You don't wait for him to join you as you unlock the front door and step in. He closes it behind you and you set your keys down, kicking off your shoes.

"I'm going to go ahead and go to bed. I'll, um, see you in the morning." You pause at your bedroom door, lingering for just a bit. You're tempted to say something more but swallow it down, closing your bedroom door.

You fall onto your bed with a sigh. It was frustrating, your heart. You'd just met the man - the demon, you remind yourself. You had summoned him, entered into a contract where your soul was the price. You couldn't allow yourself to do this all over again, to become attached to something you can't have. Surely you learned your lesson the last time your heart went through this.

Great.

Now you were thinking of him.

You roll over onto your side, not bothering with the blanket as you tuck your hands under your head. It had been a few years since you thought of him, the sight of his face unwelcomed as memories dragged forward. Pink skies, the smell of vanilla, and soft touches flood your mind, making your skin grow hot. You hate it. You don't want to remember, to be reminded of the pain that came after the charm. That's all he had been. Artificial charm laced with deceit and you had fallen for it. Stupid, stupid girl.

Fed up with your own head, you close your eyes and let the tired ache in your body consume you.

taglist: @i-like-potatoes12533, @girl-nahh-two, @mcntsee, @projectdreamwalker, @sassmasterxx, @alsemain, @yunimimii, @noraunor, @justneo11, @dragonlover123a, @falsemain, @ephemeralxv

comment to get added to the taglist and as always, feedback is welcomed! Thank you <3

Masterlist ... Ao3

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor #the radio demon #alastor hazbin #Alastor x You #Alastor x Reader #Alastor Fanfic #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel fandom

[completeoveranalysis]

[7]

OH MY POOR LAVA LAMP

HE IS TRYING SO HARD

The fascinating and heartbreaking inversion here is that originally we had a Syaoran who was trying SO hard to be like Lava Lamp - his soul was desperately trying to build itself up and be a complete being, using Lava Lamp's soul to be as similar to it as possible, but he couldn’t quite get there. 

And now we have Lava Lamp who is trying SO HARD to be like Syaoran. Specifically, Syaoran’s auto-pilot programming. He’s promised Watanuki that he’ll do ANYTHING it takes to complete this task, he’ll take ANY suffering onto himself to get it done. He wants SO MUCH to be able to prioritise and get it DONE no matter the cost - like Auto-Pilot could, technically.

And with that in mind how INTERESTING that Lava Lamp and Syaoran make up their own Yin Yang contrast even now. Syaoran is mostly programming but needed a little bit of Lava Lamp to be a functioning person. Lava Lamp is already a functioning person but needs a little bit of Syaoran’s ruthless commitment to survive the horrors of his reality. 

And so here we have Lava Lamp hardening himself to the loss of this child and making himself walk away, but as the child continues to speak we see how this is DEVASTATING him. 

(Which might be even WORSE if he has any memories of this child of his own. Does he remember seeing him running around in the background of Syaoran's life? Did they ever interact? Has he SEEN this child grow up in reality, and now has to watch him slowly die instead?)

YES!!

Fai sees this all happening and finally bridges the gap he left open in Nihon. Before when he saw Lava Lamp’s pain he considered putting a hand on his shoulder but didn’t, couldn’t QUITE connect with him. But now he sees Lava Lamp being absolutely torn to shreds over this dying child and just gently touches his arm and talks to him - and the INSTANT change in Lava Lamp’s face. It's not an expression we've ever seen on him - like he's completely unguarded and can't summon a mask even if he wanted to. As if he can’t quite believe this is being offered to him. As if he’s not used to it. As if this has never been offered to him before. 

BECAUSE IT HASNT. 

It's possible he was so convinced that the distance between him and Fai would always be there because of Syaoran, but here Fai is willingly crossing that distance to comfort him and you can SEE that Lava Lamp never really thought that was going to happen. I mean, who ELSE in his life has ever been here like this for him? Ever since he went in that lava lamp the answer has been : no-one.

FAMILY TRAUMA BONDING!

Kurogane joins in the comfort by reinforcing what Lava Lamp said and sharing the blame he was trying to take all onto himself. Kurogane, Mokona, and Fai ALL opt in to let Lava Lamp know that he’s NOT doing this alone and they’re ALL equally in this together, even if the result is negative and they caused something awful. It is SO sweet to see them reaching out to him in this moment, finally building this connection between them when he desperately needs it, even as they all walk through the dissipating water of all the lives being destroyed around them. You can see by the expressions on Fai and Kurogane in this panel that they’re hardly THRILLED about the tragedy around them, but the important thing is they’re all choosing to walk in unison as it happens. 

OHH AND LOOK AT HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO HIM

THE PAIN HAS EASED AS HE CLOSES HIS EYES GENTLY AND IS VISIBLY TOUCHED BY THE SOLIDARITY

FINALLY SOME LAVA LAMP BONDING I’M SO THRILLED

Am I even going to read Evil Wolverine’s text 

No I don’t think so

#That can be the next post #THis one is already pretty stacked with a single good theme #I don’t want to RUIN IT with Fuckboy McGee rambling about nothing #Liveblogging the Reservoir Chronicle #Tsubasa #Vol 187 #Lava Lamp Guy #Fai #Kurogane #Mokona #BONDING IN THE FACE OF TRAGEDY #FINALLY COMING TOGETHER AND ADOPTING THIS SAD CHILD #THIS SAD LONELY CHILD FINALLY CONNECTS WITH THESE PEOPLE #WHO HE HAS BEEN HOVERING NEAR BUT SO FAR AWAY FROM FOR SO LONG #AHHH IT’S SO GREAT

[professorhayforbreath]

so episode 5. all my thoughts

we picked up where the last one left off, good start

annabeth saying she knows percy isn't dead... how. to annabeth and grover there should have been no way percy was alive and finding out he was should've been so emotional but instead she was like dw i know he's not dead lol. it's kind of... lazy writing? like how are you gonna write a scene as gut wrenching as percy trapping himself with a monster and telling his friends to complete the quest without him because he's actively dying and has no reason to believe he'll survive, and then make the fallout of that so... nonchalant? idk if it's a time limit thing but that was so underwhelming to me

annabeth being the one to see the fates... no

fugitive percy enjoyers at least we won!!!!

the trio peeking over the road barrier at ares was cute goofy silly i liked that :)

gabe on the news shit talking percy i'm hooting and hollering!! "i really-- WE really loved that car" and "i'm gonna kill him". excellent. now put percy on the news fake crying about his "loving" stepfather i believe in you

i did want them to acknowledge annabeth's lack of experience with the world outside camp but having her say "i've never seen any kind of movie" has gotta be one of the weirdest ways they could've done that

the turnstile scene was cool i guess but as we go on i'm more and more conscious of how many episodes are left and how much plot there is to get through and idk i feel like this scene could've hit the cutting room floor and we wouldn't have lost anything

i do love the ambience of the park though. maybe i'm easy to impress because the aesthetic of an abandoned amusement park is just fantastic on its own but the set was very cool. wish it wasn't so dark so i could've actually seen it ❤️

percy and annabeth having a serious conversation with 'what is love' blaring in the background is sending me

first ever seaweed brain dropped! i liked the way they did it, it felt natural

actually back to the "i've never seen a movie" thing. you're telling me that in this version of the story, in which frederick chase was apparently a great dad who treated annabeth like a gift, he never took her to the movies? or she never watched one on tv? she had a whole seven years of life in the real world before going to camp and she's never seen a movie

annabeth isn't allowed to have fears she's too smart for that apparently

i think the scene with the chair was overall well executed with some great lines and fantastic acting but... idk. they really scrapped the original scene just to do what they already did last episode. i miss the spiders i miss hephaestus tv. it felt redundant to have percy sacrifice himself again. percy this is the second time today you've been like "no dw i'll just die" do you need to talk to someone

annabeth disillusionment arc complete already? calm down guys this is season one

ZOO TRUCK ZOO TRUCK ZOO TR

so it's confirmed the reason they go into the lotus casino is BECAUSE hermes is there :/ they said these literal children cannot fall for tricks and traps it's too unrealistic

not much to say about the grover and ares scenes bc i don't know what to make of them. i didn't mind them. ares had some funny lines. i guess my only complaint is that the grover i know would not have been so calm talking to the god of war. i'm curious to see where that cliffhanger leads

is it just me or did the pacing improve a little bit this episode?

despite how negative i sound i enjoyed episode 5 a lot more than episode 4. there are still so many weird changes, additions, and omissions though. honestly i think a big part of the reason i enjoyed this one is because i'm not expecting anything anymore. i'm not getting my hopes up about them adapting the book normally i'm just intrigued by this thing like a scientist observing an experiment. like hmm what are they doing now? fascinating *takes notes*

#sorry this is so long lol #pjo #percy jackson #pjo series #pjo tv show #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv spoilers #pjo spoilers #percy jackson show #pjo tv crit #pjo adaptation #pjo tv series #pjo show

[alagaesia-headcanons]

you know, we have only Oromis words to tell how was Morzan when he was a kid, how can we be sure that he doesn't' exaggerate? Morzan was a rebellious kid, who could be rude and maybe cruel? A lot of kids can be cruels, it's doesn't mean they're fully bad from the start. I just think that Morzan had need of a parental figure who would correct his attitude and would CARE for him, because it what Oromis should have been: a teacher AND a parental figure since the kid was 10 when he took him.

YES THIS I 100% agree with you!! Forgive me for the very long rant I’m about to go on because I have many thoughts about Morzan that I’ve wanted to get down for a long while now. I find it super interesting to interpret that he wasn’t entirely malicious or irredeemable from the outset.

I really, REALLY don’t like the old order of Riders. From all the things we learn about them, they had a seriously objectionable system. The way they took human kids when they were 10 years old and then left them to the discretion of people like Oromis is brazen evidence of that. I’m really intrigued by the possibility that at least one of the Forsworn joined Galbatorix to dismantle the Riders out of a genuine aversion to their abuse and a desire to put an end to it and build something better, not just from a personal lust for power.

Given the way Galbatorix talks to Oromis and Nasuada, I think he would have presented his intentions that way to distract from his real deranged vengefulness. It would have fascinating implications for any of the Forsworn to have truly fallen for that, and then as the consequences of their actions fully unfold and Galbatorix becomes an even worse tyrant, for that Forsworn to burn with regret and resentment and hatred towards him. It would make for such an interesting dynamic during the Empire’s reign. I just want one disloyal Forsworn who hates Galbatorix because they feel tricked and used, it’d be cool!!!

Admittedly, Morzan is the only one of the Forsworn we have any background for at all, so it doesn’t mean much to say he’s the best fit, but the backstory we do have can potentially line up with that role very well. Morzan was very young when he met Galbatorix, and thus inexperienced and impressionable. He spent more time with him and would have been exposed to a lot more of his manipulation. And I think he would have reason to be predisposed against the Riders before they met, a resentment Galbatorix could have fueled for his own benefit.

I’ve made it no secret how much I loathe Oromis. Tbh the fact that Morzan spent years training under him is a huge reason why I’m able to sympathize with him lmao. I would also start killing people. That man could have never given the necessary care and tolerance and emotional support to a ten year old, but it seems like the new Riders were entrusted entirely to their mentors. We see how horribly Oromis mistreats Eragon and how that affects him even when he’s sixteen- his callous neglect inflicted on ten year old children is a disaster waiting to happen, especially if any of those kids weren’t well cared for to begin with.

Also, this is slightly pedantic, but when Oromis is talking about Morzan, he specifically says that he “grew so proud and cruel,” which implies that this issue was less significant or not there at all when he first took Morzan. His harmful behaviors apparently developed over time which should be addressed and cared for by whoever’s raising him. Oromis is the only one in a position to raise him and he still turns a blind eye to Morzan.

In my headcanons, Morzan grew up impoverished and neglected. He doesn’t know what fair and caring treatment looks like and so he also can’t identify Oromis’s abuse, but its impact is compounding on an already present wound. Morzan is starving to make something of himself because no one has acknowledged and loved him for who he already is, which makes for a horribly volatile mixture with Oromis’s penchant for demanding his students prove themselves against an arbitrary and merciless standard. Morzan’s susceptibility to Oromis’s pressure makes him viciously desperate to prove himself, intensely competitive, and highly reactive to disapproval. It creates a perception of inadequacy that bleeds into everything Morzan does.

When he’s unpressured and at ease, Morzan’s nature is actually quite reserved, slow, passive, and methodical, but he is so, so easily incensed. Because he’s so fixated on proving himself, he assumes everyone initially holds a very low opinion of him and that’s what necessitates he fight for approval. He just can’t fathom receiving acceptance, respect, or care without proving he deserves it, and so he’s perpetually clawing for more. And falling short feels so devastating because he’s never been shown his worth beyond people’s expectations.

To me, that’s why he ends up attached to someone like Brom, who idolizes and defers to him. For Morzan, it would feel like his endless efforts to prove himself have actually proven something. Because he thinks he has to earn love, Brom’s affection would also feed into Morzan’s ego, providing a long desired vindication. The fact that Oromis trains both of them makes their relationship so much worse. I feel like his relatively positive relationship with Brom could have balanced out and helped Morzan adjust with time, but there’s an unfortunate competitive aspect at play. As Morzan scrambles for Oromis’s approval, now Brom is also being trained and the differences between them present another metric that could make Morzan seem lesser. So he puts Brom down and fights against him for their master’s care and validation like they’re limited commodities.

I think, over time, Morzan comes to recognize elements of Oromis’s abuse. He simply doesn’t have the energy to constantly struggle for his approval forever, and as that starts to run dry, it reveals some things. He resents that Oromis belittles his struggles and only values efforts that yield the results he wants, so he stops putting in the effort. If Morzan still doesn’t matter to him after trying so hard, why should he keep trying? He hates that Oromis can never give a true justification for the standards he demands they reach, and he starts ignoring them. He despises how he lies when says he cares for him and wants the best for him, because he prioritized his utility to the Riders over his well being in every moment since they met.

So, when he meets Galbatorix, Morzan is bitterly resentful and disillusioned. He joins him out of desire for revenge on Oromis and to tear down the system that abandoned him to his abuse. I do believe Morzan genuinely loved Brom in a certain way, despite his mistreatment, and he starts trying to incite him against Oromis not solely because of his own vindictiveness but also out of concern for Brom. As Galbatorix’s plans start to move, Morzan balks and begins seriously doubting him, even more so as the scope of slaughter unfolds, but he swallows his misgivings and stays determined to recruit Brom to the winning side. When one of the Forsworn kills the first Saphira despite Morzan’s insistence they be spared, he’s vehemently outraged. I think of Galbatorix’s disinterest in his uproar as the turning point in Morzan’s loyalty to him. As the Empire takes form, that disloyalty solidifies and Morzan hates Galbatorix for being even more cruel, manipulative, and uncaring than the people he wanted revenge on. Galbatorix tolerates it because forcing his vengeful resentment into subservience gratifies his sadistic impulse.

Now all of this is well within the realm of extrapolation and interpretation- none of these details directly suggest this version of Morzan’s character and motivations. They give the potential, but not real support, and they can just as easily be seen in any number of different ways. However, there is one single thing that actually grounds this in canon, which is that Morzan was a name-slave from very early on. When Eragon is telling Murtagh about the chance to change his true name and challenges his hesitation, Murtagh says, “[Galbatorix] has been creating name-slaves for over a hundred years, ever since he recruited our father.”

This detail fascinates me. There is the possibility that it’s a lie, but I can’t imagine Murtagh would make it up considering how much distaste he expresses towards his father. And I don’t think it would make sense for Galbatorix to lie to Murtagh about it either. If he didn’t actually have control over Morzan’s name then, claiming he did would discredit that real loyalty Morzan would have had to feel for him and his cause to do everything of his own free will. I think it’s the truth. Galbatorix learned Morzan’s true name more than a hundred years ago, before the fall, when he recruited him- which, to me, feels like before Morzan even helped him steal Shruikan’s egg.

Morzan either knew his true name already or Galbatorix went through his mind to find out, and the latter seems far more likely. Given the way Morzan’s described: young, arrogant, weak minded- I highly doubt he knew and the way Murtagh brings this up implies Galbatorix’s skill at uncovering names. Morzan either felt so loyal to Galbatorix at that point that he willingly let him in his mind, he was coerced into agreeing to it, or Galbatorix did it by force.

This still doesn’t mean Morzan wanted to dismantle the broken parts of the Riders instead of fully destroying them and that Galbatorix manipulated him into starting a war he found appalling- but it makes that idea much more feasible. If Morzan did realize Galbatorix’s intentions weren’t what he said and that he didn’t want to take things so far, he couldn’t back out. Any reluctance or disagreement would have been overridden and things would unfold exactly how they did.

I think Morzan was wounded and angry and starving for true respect and care that lured him to Galbatorix, and the precarious pride he clung to made him look away from the severity of Galbatorix’s actions. Then he realized his desperation was preyed upon only when it was far too late.

#eragon #inheritance cycle #morzan #oromis #galbatorix #brom #answered ask #anon im sorry i think this might have been more than you bargained for lmao #im a little insane about this #but this concept captivated me and i wont let go of it now #also im quite tempted to write a fic of young morzan and brom. i have scenes in my brain

[stranger-rants]

Runaway Max Annotation Series

This is part of a series I am doing on Runaway Max by Brenna Yovanoff. To see previous posts including the annotation guide, check the [#rm annotations] tag on my blog. These posts will follow the general formula of summary, annotations, quotes, and any thoughts or analysis I want to provide based on my own interpretation of the text. You can use my posts as references in fandom discussions.

Runaway Max Chapter Two

Max and Billy experience their first day of school. Max talks about her life back in San Diego, and why she tried to run away to L.A. to be with her dad.

Annotations:

1) Background

Their first day of school was "a Tuesday, more than a month after school already started," which means they started school mid-October. Max had friends in San Diego named Ben, Eddie, and Nate. She didn't have female friends.

2) Family Context

Max ran away to stay with her dad in L.A. after she had been told that they were moving to Hawkins. Susan views her ex-husband as wasting his smarts on irresponsible things and inconsistent work. He did some illegal jobs here and there, and he lives in a dingy apartment.

3) Unreliable Statements / Limited P.O.V.

Max says that she thinks having Billy around is making Susan crazy, but there's little to no context explaining why she thinks this. Susan is getting them ready for school, and Billy doesn't say or do much of anything to combat this.

4) Evidence of Abuse / Neglect

Neil is the one making them move. Max thinks that Susan is just going along with it. Max's father is not a responsible parent. He is often late in picking her up and frequently falls asleep in front of the T.V. Susan doesn't trust him to take care of Max, which begs the question - why would she trust Billy to take care of Max?

6) Max & Billy Relationship

There isn't much antagonism between them in this chapter which is odd given the supposed circumstances that lead to the move not yet revealed or even hinted at early in the novel. Instead, there is an attempt at solidarity in being pissed off about the move - Billy says Hawkins sucks and says, "I bet you're already planning your next jailbreak right?"

7) Valuable Insights

Susan and Max disagree greatly on how a young girl should dress and act.

8) Billy's Characterization

Billy is enraged by the move. Max says he "lost it" when he found out, but he expresses this mostly by keeping to himself. He blasts his music in his room and refuses to eat dinner with the family. Billy is told by Susan to drive Max to the middle school and walk in with her to make sure she gets what she needs. Billy drops her off, refusing to go in.

Quote(s):

Billy rolled his head sideways to look at me. "But I don't want to, Max. They're not paying me to babysit you. If you don't like it, maybe tomorrow you can walk."

This chapter reveals just how poorly planned this book is because there's not a drop of a hint of a piece of evidence as to why the family moved to Hawkins, even though fans adamantly use this book as evidence that the move was all Billy's fault. There is no hint that Billy blames Max or that Max blames Billy for it.

I know that later information contradicts this by putting blame on Billy's violence, but information that is revealed later on isn't meant to contradict the entire tone of a chapter but rather enhance it. The feeling the reader gets from this chapter is that Max and Billy didn't want to move, and they're unhappy in Hawkins.

Not that they're ready to kill each other over it.

I am endlessly fascinated that Max's mom doesn't want Max around her father because he's "irresponsible" but then turns around and expects her step son to babysit Max for free. It's his first day, too, and she expects him to not only drive her to school but check her in when he has to do that for himself when he gets to the high school.

Billy explains himself clearly and logically to Max as to why he's not going to do what Susan wants him to do, and you know what? He's right. Not only that, but Max is perfectly capable of checking herself in. The statement that Billy is "driving Susan crazy" is also random and lacking context, making Billy out to be the "bad guy" for being an annoyed teenager.

This doesn't mean that Billy hasn't done anything to piss her off or drive her crazy, but there is absolutely no context for the statement that explains what he's saying or doing that's so wrong. I cannot emphasize enough that statements are just made about Billy with little to no detail backing them up, so the reader is just expected to believe Max.

Max was also unlikeable in this chapter for one main reason - the "I'm not like other girls" attitude she carries. It's fine that she doesn't vibe with femininity in the way that her mother expects her too, but she puts herself above other girls in many ways to make herself "different" from them. She is a child, though, so this can change over time.

Back to Susan... Again. I have to say this again.

If Susan really doesn't trust Max's father to take care of her, it makes no narrative sense to expect Billy, her step son who she supposedly can't stand, to be Max's babysitter. It's irresponsible. If she wants Max checked in at school, she can do it herself because that's certainly not Billy's job when he also has school to go to.

The main thing we learn about Billy is that Billy is basically parentified and somehow that makes him the bad guy.

#rm annotations #runaway max #billy hargrove #susan mayfield #billy & max

[swadloom]

I was curious what the crew's files said so I took pictures. Taken from my tablet so they're not the best. Some of this is stuff that's already revealed or contextualized in this magazine (shoutout to @atlantis-archive for his super cool work) but there's interesting stuff in there nonetheless, like Vinny's explosion incident happening when he was fairly young and what's shown of Mole's past being more tame than Sweet made it out to be (though maybe the sewer exploration just grosses him out, I can see that being something Sweet would be disgusted by as a cleanly doctor and Audrey wouldn't care as much about.)

Unfortunately Vinny and Packard have a lot of their information blocked out and there's barely anything for Rourke at all, I wonder if it's intentional since it makes Rourke more ominous, Packard has a more minor comedic role, and being forced to wonder how many times Vinny got sent to jail is pretty funny.

Transcription under cut. Brackets means I'm interpereting a word that's cut off, question marks means that I'm not sure if I got it right or what it means, and parethesis are for adding context or my own personal commentary or analysis of their backstories. If anyone has any context for some things mentioned that they think they could explain (like place names or historical context), that would be appreciated!

GARTAN MOLIERE Mineralogist and [Excavator] 39 [Birthplace]: Paris, France [Parents:] Christef and Gabrielle Moliere [Expertise:] Extensive knowledge of… the new science of tectonics. Advise… National du France (?), Ottoman Mining, Aus… New South Wales Coal, Slate and Granite… American Coal and Lumber. Has developed… independent mining and excavation vehicle… related equipment. Holds patents on… Acute senses, particularly taste and… enable… to correctly identify any type of… soil… benefit or aid of any scientific… 98.7… time.

Background: [Gartan]… working family, the [young?]… parents were teachers… courses at the Sorbonne… music teacher. Gartan [discovered?]… subterranean pursuits at the… exploring the vast sever [networks]… Paris. By the age of 13, [Moliere]… specialized type of goggles… exploring caves in the surrounding… and catacombs held no [fun?]… He entered Sorbonne at… opportunity to… mining company…

(it sounds like one of his parents was a music teacher at the same college he went to, which is fun to think about.)

VINCENZO [SANTORINI] Explosives and [Demolition] [Palermo], Italy …and Fabiela Santorini (father’s name unknown) …elance (no idea what the word after this that starts with M is, maybe a place in Italy?) …ining 190(?)…[1903] 1903- (dash indicates a range of dates)… Demolitions; Delphi… (?) 1909, Bachelor’s… Delphi Prison… 1910, Technical Overseer… Hardrock Blasting… 1913.

…“Vinny” Santorini is the eldest… ela Santorini (only have “ela” to work from, so this could also be the name of one of his siblings). The parents own… [specializes] in floral arrangement… to an unfortunate, and to… the Santorini family was… [business?]. Young Vincenzo seemed… fascination for fire, and… small boy… blazes. …became… began… 18. By…

(He would have been around 27 in 1903, I’m guessing it might be a range of time that he was in jail. Also he’s apparently been arrested in Greece, so he might have been on the run too. I wonder from the companies mentioned if Vinny worked as a professional demolitionist but would overdo it just for the excitement and cause serious damage) (He’s mentioned as teaching himself about explosives all on his own in the scan, and also the incident that drew him away from the flower business was when he was too young to have finished college unless he’s a huge savant like Milo, so I’m guessing the mentions of degrees are ones that his parents have in botany-related subjects. I like the implication that he comes from a well-educated family and is probably very smart himself but ended up not liking the business he had to be a part of as a kid and instead putting that energy into blowing stuff up)

[AUDREY] ROCIO RAMIREZ [Chief] Mechanic [Michigan] (Parents names are blocked out, though Manuel can be seen later) …in her… assistant… for [mechanical/mechanics]… at age of… age of… orvisery(?) [position] at age 11. …with fledgling… Credited with developing… method 1909. Developed… oling(?) system 1910. …drive gears 1910. …Reduction-Gear Steering …[Master] Mechanic Manuel… [Industries], Audrey Rocia… from the time she… months, she could… any clock in the… Ana Ramirez found… any lock she… of trying to keep… that no matter

(Master Mechanic Manuel sounds plausible for the name of her father’s business. He’s characterized as somewhat self-centered along with how Audrey talks about him in the movie, she also seems to look up to her sister more than him with how she talks about her and has probably learned some about fighting from her. I can see him contributing to her tough attitude. Unknown if Ana is the name of her mother or sister.)

[STRONGBEAR SWEET] [Medical] Officer …Jerika [Sweet] [Internal Medicine?]… … .D. [University]… 189(?)… Medic… with… until 1901, acting as… Roosevelt's personal… during the Kettle and… [instrumental] in treatment of… in disease-ridden… ceased… Received no… [personal] letter from… [knowledge] of Arapho and… by his maternal (assuming uncle)… and studied… 1905. Traveled to… at Prins Oklahoma and… at Baxter

…in Fort Phil (Kearny?)… Pine Ridge

(I tried looking up Kansas universities that might fit with what’s cut off, seems like most likely he went to college out of state. ?.D. university… My best guesses are the universities of Idaho, South Dakota, or North Dakota. The University of Idaho may have been too young at the time to be a candidate, he would have been 27 already when it was established.) (if anyone knows what “the Kettle” is referring to please let me know!) (Side note, the mention in the scan of Sweet caring for people on both sides of the battle, presumably the Spanish-American war, calls to mind how Sweet seems to distrust Rourke’s motives but still tags along to be a doctor for the team. He’s so underrated I love Sweet so much.)

(Packard’s page, first angle:) [phone] in 1888… [professional]… ment(?) of work. …known… 1893. …1898-1901. …Worked… 1902-04. …1902. …1903. …[develop Radar]… (Packard’s page, second angle:) …[BERTHA] PACKARD [Communications?] Officer Cudot (parent name) …1875… of… [communication]… full… brating(?) Telephone in 1888… Secured congressional… (not much to gather from this one except that she seems to have been working with researchers and communication technology all her life, since she was 22. Could explain why she’s so nonchalant about her job by now.)

(Rourke’s page:) …life of… “C”… Golden… became… Also… (I wonder what “C” means, perhaps a codename? I'm assuming Golden refers to some kind of reward from the military.)

#disney atlantis #atlantis the lost empire #atlantis: the lost empire #atlantis disney

[sunnyupsidedown]

Thoughts On: The Sunshine Court

by Nora Sakavic [goodreads]

Aka, if I didn't put myself on a social media blackout, these would have been my live tweets. Spoilers below.

Gosh. What if Jeremy starts to hate Kevin for not doing 'enough' to help Jean. That’d probably hurt him so bad lmao Though I don't really thing Jeremy gives off those vibes. He's too sunny.

Also, now I’m thinking of Jeremy being a very normal kid with a normal background completely unprepared to help someone with absolutely massive amounts of trauma. Like. This kid being like, look at my normal jock life and then suddenly is exposed to the dark underbelly of organized crime.

Like. With Andrew and Neil, Neil was already familiar and Andrew at least is familiar with how bad law enforcement is so it’s all a non-issue. Jeremy though… what’s his story???

Jean over here probably texting with T9 on a flip phone

Which fox uses T9, which one taps the number until it gets to the letter they want, and which one has a phone with a keyboard?

Have I mentioned that I love Renee? I feel like she’s often seen as an uwu good girl Christian. But like. She’s so badass. I think she said it herself that she’s a bad person doing her best to be good and you really get that with the “smile that doesn’t reach her eyes”. Fucking love her.

Okay the uni president thing is actually kind of funny. Because I work in an athletic department and it reminds me of when the president requested access to the team practice schedules so I was in charge of setting up an account in our messaging app with the instructions to grant him access but with absolutely no power to do anything else

Do you think Renee will put "Destabilized Evermore leading to its eventual downfall" on her resume when she applies to the Peace Corps? I know this is not how it works but....

We’re going to see the reaction to Riko’s death from Jean’s POV!!! I wrote a ficlet about this!! It’s gonna be so cool to see what really happens!!

Wtf Jean’s 19?!?!

I'm saying this like everything that happened to him wouldn't have been just as horrifying if he were Kevin's age. But like. WTF??? He's Neil's age!!

LMAO everyone wants to choke Kevin out

“You were injured in a scrimmage” DAMN. I did not expect that from Abby. She's so done with Jean's evasions

I was being kind of mean to Kevin earlier and now I’m going to cry. He was just doing his best too :( what can you do when you’ve been raised in the system?

Kevin, Neil, and Jean are in the idiot exy trio

It’s so fascinating to know that this was the version where Jean lived because you can see the parts where his life could have ended. Like if Abby left the pills. If Jean made it back to Evermore. If Wymack didn’t threaten Tetsuji.

The way that they’re (Neil is) playing 5D exy mafia chess is so extra 😭

Everyone really looking to Neil for their courage. Neil was brave so I can be brave (or at least follow him). What would Neil do?

Do you think the other exy coaches know exy was built on blood? Or at least that Evermore was?

Jean and Kevin in the corner at the party full of Ravens: They don’t know the extent of Riko’s violence

I’m starting to realize that Jean is a lover... [Redacted: This is getting it's own post because I have feelings about this.]

JEREMY!! HELLO!! I DON'T KNOW YOU. ARE YOU DEPRESSING TOO?

Jeremy is so normal. This is going to be so good. He’s literally going to be like “why did you say it like that? You know that’s fucked up right?” Call it like it is my dude!!

How the hell did they get the seniors on board with a smaller line up? They’re giving up a chance at a championship run... Ah.

Oh. He’s rich?? Jeremy is rich? With a butler? Is he secretly going to be tied to the west coast mafia? And taking Jean on will create a bond between east and west?

OH HE’S POLITICIAN RICH. Damn. You know there's blood money somewhere

Are you telling me that the sunshine court is a nickname between Kevin and Jean (and maybe some others? I don't remember if it was ever mentioned in the other books) for USC? And it’s typically called the Gold Court? Cause if so, they’re soooo starved

Do you think Jean knows (or remembers) how to use money? Since he’s been locked up in the Nest for so long? How many social norms has he forgotten? How awkward is he going to be relearning them?

Oh god. Jean found out from Jeremy! Holy shit I was not expecting that. Damn. Also. He's alone :(

Renee and Jean 😭

I’m so glad they talked about redshirting. I was SO confused why they could go five years when the rule is 5 years to compete 4 seasons.

Radiology equipment in their exy stadium?? Man I forget how rich some schools are

Watch Jean break out in hives the moment he gets on clothes that are outside the monochrome color scheme

Oooo Jeremy, show me your spine. I want to see him mad. I want to see him lose control.

And then I forgot I was taking notes because I was too absorbed. When is the next book supposed to come out again?

#the sunshine court #tsc spoilers #aftg #thoughts on #m

[harus-simp]

Love is in the air

-Haruto x reader-

Warning: pure fluff

Word count: 780 approx.

You and Haruto have been friends for a while but there's something in his eyes that just brightens your face every time you see him.

Waking up in the comfort of your bed is the best feeling you could have in the morning,your alarm clock ringing in the distance as you start to fall again into a deep slumber. Wait...Alarm? Fuck. You were running late to classes again. Damn this is the third time this week y/n.

As fast as you can you get dressed, eat a single toast and head to your school as fast as your legs allow you. Bumping with everyone who crosses your way and apologising for it immediately you make your way into the entrance realising that you are actually on time. You slow down and breathe for a moment taking a little break. But you are startled since you feel yourself being hugged from behind by certain someone.

"Ahhhhh" you scream

"Woah woah easy there, it's just me"

"Oh it's just you..."

"Hey! What do you mean? It's THE Haruto" he says sassily.

Yep that's your best friend, Haruto Maeda, aka your crush for the last two years. He's one of the sweetest, funniest and kindest people you know. There's just this aura around him that you find mesmerising and his eyes seem to sparkle every time he's speaking.

"Hahahahaha don't be silly Haru!"you say

He smiles at you kinda mocking you as you make your way through the corridors to your class.

There you both part ways as you don't share any subjects that day.

"Well see you later boo" he says "Later" you respond

Hours went by veeeeeery slowly, prolonging your boredom for longer and longer. Until the bell ranged and you could finally be free.

You straightly went to the entrance where you always meet with Haruto, and as you approach you see him waiting kind of nervously? Your Haru getting nervous? Well that's new... You finally get to him and all his possible nerves were nowhere to be seen.

"Hey" "Hey, is all good?"

"Yeah...so are you free this evening?"

You almost choked yourself to his question. Is not that you guys don't hang out, it's just you where genuinely surprised by the spontaneity of it.

"I am actually, don't have any plans with the theatre class.

"How about movie night at mine's?"

"Sounds great! I'll be there by 5?"

"Yeah sure"

You both start chatting and you eventually separate ways as your houses are in opposite directions.

.

.

.

When the time arrives you found yourself at Haruto's house which now that you think of it, you've never been to. Your butterflies making their obvious presence in your stomach as you wish this was an official date.

You both start doing your own thing, fighting for choosing the movie, playing background music, dancing, ordering food as cooking would come with a really bad result,etc.

You both finally sit down to watch the movie, but just keep on making silly comments and making a fool of yourselves.

And then...silence...abrupt silence surrounds you both. You turn around to find him already looking at you,curious of his behaviour you start questioning him." What, is there something on my fa-"

You are suddenly blocked by a soft pair of lips kissing you tenderly and with such sweetness you might get diabetes from it. Too stunned to do anything you remain in the same position making him regret his actions and start to pull away.Until you finally react and pursue his lips in search of more. You kiss him back with the same care and passion he put into the other one making it such a romantic and pretty moment between you two. He sneaks his arms around your waist as you put your arms around his neck enjoying every moment of it.

You both pull away due to the lack of air and stare at each other completely fascinated until Haruto breaks the silence and your heavy breathing. "Sorry y/n, I couldn't help myself when you look like that"

"Don't be, I enjoyed it very much and I've actually been meaning to confess for a long time but I guess you got ahead haha".

He looked at you with those sweet and sparkling eyes you love so much and you get lost in so easily.

"I love you"

" あいしてる "

The way his smile got bigger gave you a tingling sensation that no one else could ever give you.

"Would you go out with me?"

"Gladly"

And you both spent the rest of the night cuddling and spending quality time as a new born couple.

°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°

あいしてる (ai shiteru) = I love you

#boys planet #boys planet fanfics #haruto #haruto maeda #fluff #kpop #boys planet drabbles #sassy king #💅💅💅

[sitp-recs]

Happy happy birthday @cavendishbutterfly! I still remember the excitement and blissful joy of finding your writing through Bridges, which remains one of my favorite Drarry oneshots to this day! I’m so happy to share this space with someone as talented and cheerful as you. Your fics have brought me comfort and warm, fuzzy feelings when I needed the most, and I love your supportive and positive energy towards fandom and your friends. Here’s a humble Cav reclist to celebrate your birthday and spread some love for my favourite gems. Check out that range with so many comfort tropes and ratings, plus the sexy healing and evocative atmosphere we deserve. From short shorts with beautiful prose to an 80k 8th year epic, this list has everything you need to get through one more week. And btw, Cav was incredibly prolific last year and I think everyone should go check their full catalogue right away. Then join me to add your own favorites 🎉🎉🎉

Windy City (T, 1.6k) - one of my earliest faves, such gorgeous prose and a sharp sense of place, the melancholy urban atmosphere is breathtaking. And journalist Harry as a treat!

Harry works hard at this whole journalism thing, even when they send him abroad to do his investigating. He'd just rather be home.

In The Wings (T, 1.6k) - this short is so gentle and healing I could cry, I’m enchanted by Draco’s soft pov and those vivid ballet descriptions, so very dreamy!

Ballet has been a path to healing for Draco after the war. Now, it's his final performance in the starring role, and his boyfriend is in the audience for the first time.

To Make A Way (E, 5.4k) - the fuck buddies cinema AU you didn’t know you needed! Sexy af mixing casual and sweet, organic slow burn and a gorgeous contemplative tone underneath. It’s about the aching!

When Harry finds Draco in the back row of the cinema, he doesn't mean to accidentally befriend him. Or fuck him. Or catch feelings. The thing is, Draco only does casual.

Glowing (T, 9.7k) - the softest vampire cottagecore domesticity you’ll read today, this made my heart melt. So darling and intimate, it felt like I was right there beside them. Flatmates by Cav just hits differently, I’m telling you!

Harry's lived alone and vampiric in his cottage for ages, until a long-lived Draco Malfoy suddenly shows up to answer an advertisement Harry had practically forgotten he'd put in the Prophet. Cue soft blood drinking, quiet nights of reading and crocheting, and Harry thinking that maybe--just maybe--he might not be so alone anymore.

Bridges (E, 16k) - ultimate comfort read with travel roommates exploring Budapest, Harry exploring his sexuality, soft contemplation and poignant conversations. I love how easily this fic flows and the atmosphere is 👨‍🍳💋

Harry and Draco are on a trip to Budapest to help with Kingsley's re-election, but that's the boring bit. More interesting: Harry Potter is changing his Tinder preferences to include men.

The Hardest Hue To Hold (M, 17k) - another incredible love story set outside the UK with a charming academic background and fascinating characters. I love how Cav included different mythology references, and the honest, delicate take on Harry’s trans journey.

Harry needs to get the hell out of England. So he sets up a teaching assistantship in America, hops on a plane, and heads off to a fresh start. Except there’s a familiar face among the university faculty, and it’s really not the familiar face that Harry wanted. Or at least, it’s not who Harry wanted at first.

Inertia (E, 83k) - almost 100k of delicious 8th year enemies to friends to lovers, I live for the angsty slow burn and the exquisite coming of age vibes. Soft and healing and full of hope!

It’s three months after the war. Harry has already mucked up all his plans. Draco is no longer the prince of Slytherin house. And they sure as hell didn’t both mean to go back to Hogwarts at the same time. Cue snarking, long conversations…and unexpected snogging.

#happy bday Cav! 🎉🎉 #drarry recs #Sitp faves

[junk-thrillz]

I wanna hear you talk more about Cody because he makes me insane.

Anon, I would LOVE to talk about Cody. He makes me insane too, he's been one of my favorite pnat characters since I first got into the comic (he was my ultimate favorite until Violet shoved him out of that spot a few months later). Putting all of this under a Read More because it got to be a LOT

It's hard to say what his initial appeal for me was. I think I mostly loved his whole theme of masks and actors and mysteries! The school store scene and its surrounding scenes was my favorite part of pnat basically from the moment I first saw it, and I was DELIGHTED to find out that all of these background characters had insane, hidden depth to them. Cody was especially delightful because him being a dhampir is a crazier fucking reveal than even the school store's existence itself, and once that was revealed it was like a layer of his character had been peeled away. Suddenly his status as the nice, responsible boy was turned on its head, revealing an underlying personality that's a million times more jaded and hurt than was ever previously comprehensible and FUCK it was just so!! Good!! I don't think it was ever about him being a monster, I think it was about the reveal and the intrigue.

I've always loved digging into his character. Before Chapter 8, Chapter 5 was the majority of what we had to go off of for his characterization, and what was in Chapter 5 was already a goddamn goldmine of information. There's a reason why Chapter 5 is my favorite pnat chapter (though my favorite page in the whole comic is in Chaper 4 lmao)!

In the centuries-old past of late 2020, your local weirdo Junk was incapable of separating Cody and Violet from each other in aus, analyses, headcanons, etc. They used to be tied for my favorite character, and it was because I was (and still am) fascinated by their dynamic, the way their respective complexes and insecurities and emotional walls cause problems for them... their argument in Chapter 5 was my favorite scene-within-a-scene for a very long time. All this to say that there's a reason I keep bringing up Violet in a post about Cody; it's still really hard for me to consider one without the other. I love the way they're both protectors (knighthood theming goes crazy in this comic), and I love the way they differ so fundamentally in why they're protectors and how they approach that sense of protectiveness. I love the way Cody jumps to revenge during the Hijeff situation, and I love the way Violet counters that with appalled confusion.

God, can we talk about the revenge thing? The way Cody behaves is fascinating. He's very clearly picked up certain behaviors from his dad, but he thinks that makes him some sort of evil rather than understanding that everyone is a product of their environment. Compared to his dad he's just so... fundamentally kind, with his heart in the right place, but he can't see that because he's 12 years old, in a horrible situation with a horrible parent, and a complicated social situation at school and and-

I'm really glad that he has nice things he can cling to. I can't imagine the nightmare it must be to live in that house. He's got fun clothes he can wear at home on the weekend, he gets to go over to Jeff's house, and those might seem like small victories but they are still victories. I really hope he gets out of there soon. Jesus Christ

Oh oh oh, let's talk about fancontent! I'm going to talk about my own stuff, because there are a lot of very old ideas that will probably never see the light of day otherwise. In the post I'm assuming you came from, anon, I mentioned how I'd mischaracterized my way into the right characterization, and by that I mean both my earliest and most recent interpretations of him really played up his cutesy, smiley demeanor. Very anime girl esque vibe, very over exaggerated movements, very 'actor in a play' type energy. I would often come up with au's that would shove him into some sort of magical girl role, often paired with a healthy amount of body horror for the tonal dissonance. It was, of course, also an excuse to put him in cute, fun outfits. To this day I struggle to draw him in normal outfits that don't make him look like the leader of a magical girl. (If you want a funtastic magical girl au that was actually made for me, check out astralibrary's AU over here.) One of my favorite au's I've ever made was one in which Cody was a magical warrior from another world who fell through a portal and ended up in an ordinary, spirit-free Mayview, where he then had to rely on Violet to get him through the day normal-guy-style. Looking back it's one of my favorite au's in part BECAUSE it involves so many shenanigans revolving around Cody trying to be normal and failing miserably. I believe it to be accurate to canon LMAO

I have so much more I could say about him but I think I've hit the point where I can't put my thoughts into words. To wrap it up, here's a compilation of my favorite Cody panels and bits of official art;

^Chapter 8 Page 44!!

^Chapter 5 Page 44!!

^Chapter 5 Page 58!! I love the way the blur makes his ear look pointy!! You can even see his fangs, a bit!!

^Chapter 5 Page 57!! I love Zack's expressions for him so much

^Chapter 5 Page 165!! "So embarassing", he says, as if he isn't VERY invested

^Chapter 5 Page 167!! Top ten panels that permanently altered my brain chemistry

^Chapter 5 Page 283!! This panel made me nauseous the first time I saw it. Kill your dad, Cody

^Chapter 1 Page 33!! A classic. I love his Chapter 1 look a lot. I love how he's climbing on his chair/desk

^I have an emotional attachment to his old cast page photo.

^CHAPTER 5 PAGE 48. This panel inspired the tiger spectral cody au (not my au, if you haven't heard of it before), and thus made me insane

I think I might have hit the image limit. I got carried away. Here are the honorable mention pages

Anyways. Thank you, anon, for giving me an excuse to go absolutely insane about Cody. I did NOT know this post was going to get THIS long, but once I started it was like I couldn't stop LMAO. I hope you enjoy this thought dump, feel free to send in more asks if you want to ask about something specific/want more lovingly crafted Cody content. If I ever manage to upload a fic to Ao3 with Cody in it, it'll be dedicated to you in the author's notes or something LMAO

#paranatural #pnat #cody paranatural #violet paranatural #<- for the mentions #anonz #i wanted to respond to this earlier but i spent a LONG time writing this LMAO #puzzlethrillz

[bloobluebloo]

Tbh I think that the big pushback against nuanced villains may have its most potent roots in the idea of woobification? I could be wrong about this, I was a little bit late to the ride, but my earliest days on the internet fell right in the middle of when mischaracterization by making the character very soft was common. I was in the Creepypasta fandom for a while, so I saw a lot of it. A lot. Nontheless, the whole "Oh, you think this character isn't JUST pure evil? Then you're excusing their actions/absolving them of blame/just think they're hot!" feels very reactionary. From what I can observe, it's the same instinct that makes people respond to accusations of a character being a Mary Sue by making that character extremely dark. Is this making any sense?? I only just now woke up fhejbdbd

You're not wrong, and it is actually an issue that has been pervasive in fandoms ever since fandoms have been a thing. I can tell you from personal experience that being a fan of Ganondorf in the early 2000s and trying to justify his actions as anything but vile and evil was not exactly a walk in the park (though Wind Waker came along and gave him some grace in that matter). I personally find it fascinating that often people will accuse others of liking villains or relating to them or even just talking about them in a way that isn’t entirely negative because “they’re hot” or “you want them to be misunderstood when they’re not” or “because you endorse abuse and murder" and so on and so forth. To me, when I read these arguments, it gives me a lens at understanding how so many people will read and interpret a story. The only reason you could like a villain is for their obvious traits that are plain as daylight to see and require nothing more than your plain eyesight and the ability to read the textboxes and take everything being said literally. Liking those traits makes you susceptible to falling for obvious traps of course. In the same way, you should love the hero because it is plainly obvious that their design evokes goodness and everyone around them loves them and all they want to do is protect their land.

I'll bring this back to Ganondorf because I always do, and it is something I've touched upon several times, but my reason for loving him as much as I do goes beyond the contained narrative of the game. I played OoT at the age of 11, and as a person who had already been subjected to so much scrutiny and aggressive comments for my ethnic and religious background, Ganondorf's story read like a propaganda piece to me. I couldn't see him as the vile evil man that the game was trying to tell me he was because I had seen this story hundreds of times already, played out not only in fictional media but in real life as well. The burden was on me to show people that I wasn't the aggressive terrorist that proliferated mainstream news at the time. This really resonated with me when Nabooru had to explicitly tell Link that "she wasn't like Ganondorf" as if the default is to assume that all Gerudo are bad. It seemed disingenuous and like the narrative was leaning too hard on Ganondorf and the Gerudo for all of Hyrule's troubles because they were the easiest targets to scapegoat for numerous reasons. It didn't help at all that, in OoT itself, there was evidence that Hyrule was responsible for several warcrimes of its own. Yet, the game always pivoted to show Hyrule in the right, that they were the bastions of justice and that Ganondorf was being needlessly aggressive and had to be put down for his actions. That's why I relate to Ganondorf; I understand where his anger and hatred come from. Anyways, my point is that people don't seem to want to think beyond what the story is telling you, or think about why someone would write such a story with such themes, or why they would decide that the human form of their pig beast demon who is greedy for power should be a desert-dwelling man that only knows anger and hatred. In the same breath they will accuse you of liking a villain because they think you like them for shallow reasons. It's tiring ahaha

#ganonthots #bloothots #honestly I have no idea how to put all my thoughts exactly into words #my relationship to loz is a complicated one #but I hope I got something across

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 136 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: putting up a new fence.

MELANIE: “Well. I’ve kinda got to… uh. (inhale) I’ve got somewhere to be. Do you mind if – if she hangs around with…?” JON: "Uh, I suppose – Not at all. She’s very welcome." I think it's super cute that Daisy doesn't want to be alone. Yeah, the reason for this is quite tragic and sad... I think this was the episode that made me go "Oh shit, I really like Daisy now!" to 100 %! I love everything about this episode!

JON: "If you don’t mind me asking – where are you off to?" [UNFORTUNATELY FOR BOTH OF THEM, THE ARCHIVIST’S SIGNATURE STATIC RUMBLES LOW IN THE BACKGROUND AS HE SPEAKS.] MELANIE: "Therapy. (surprised inhale) Wait…" I read a post about this once, that the Eye won't chose random information for Jon to suddenly drop into his mind. It's always something bad or intrusive (like suddenly knowing how Gertrude stopped the Sunken Sky. Or how one of Basira's school teachers died). Wouldn't be surprised, if this also got a grip on questions which could reveal a "dark secret". Like here, it wasn't a coincidence that compulsion slipped out with the question. It's the Eye choosing to act on it's own because there's juicy personal information to acquire. There's nothing Jon could have done to stop that, aside from just not asking this question. But that's why he's the Archivist, he always asked this kind of questions.

MELANIE: "It’s fine. I would probably have told you eventually anyway." Uhhh, am I the only one who thinks this line sounds a bit weird...? Especially the "It's fine". This doesn't sound like Lydia at all... Could this actually be Alex??? (Wouldn't be the first time we suspect him impersonating Lydia/Melanie - MAG 103).

"One of my earliest memories is cowering behind my mother, watching Labyrinth of the Minotaur on our tiny television, seeing the clay of the creature move and come alive in stop-motion. It terrified me. It thrilled me. It’s a moment that’s never completely left me. I’ve always had two passions: engineering and special effects. So naturally, the course of my life gradually led me towards working on animatronics. I don’t – care about the other stuff, not really. A squib’s a squib no matter how much you dress it up, and… (inhales) makeup never really wowed me." 1.) Not really-counter of S4: 4! 2.) I totally know that feeling. For me it was Jurassic Park. I guess this is also why I've always loved Stan Winston's work the most out of all practical FX studios and artists I follow. I have no idea about engineering, but I'm good at sculpting and crafting. Naturally, SFX make-up always fascinated me as well and they often work closely together (part make-up / part costume / part animatronics). It's just so damn expensive to make myself, the prices for silicone and resin skyrocketed the last couple of years. I want to make an animatronic mask soooo badly... Luckily my spouse is an engineer and I have a few of tutorials from the Stan Winston School membership, so one day! *fingers crossed*

"His earlier stuff I certainly enjoyed, but… for all my fondness for that – animated Minotaur, his stop-motion work never really grabbed me like his animatronics." You know why stop-motion looks so jerky? Lack of motion blur. That's when go-motion came into play. They'd move the model slightly during exposure of that frame, recreating motion blur by doing this. The dragon Vermithrax in Dragonslayer was the best example for this, but it already went quite high-tech to achieve this. (ILM, Phil Tippet btw.)

"The way Neil tells it, he split from his partner Gabe in 1972, and sculpting for stop-motion had never really had the same charm after that." Gabe... Short for Gabriel. Sculpting, like with Clay^^ Lagorio was like "Yeah, the Spiral is too random for me, I need precision!!"

"I think we bonded on that shoot, sheltering from the rain for hours at a time, watching a soggy animatronic jaguar gradually start to rust." Everybody knows the story of the T-Rex in the rain, right? If not, so they build the T-Rex without the information that it's supposed to be raining in that scene. Well... the foam latex skin acted like a sponge and it got too heavy! This caused the T-Rex to shiver, so they had to dry her in-between shots (there are pictures of people whipping towels at the dino XD). This is also the reason why the roof of the car broke and came down onto the children. This was not planned! But the T-Rex got too heavy so the calculations weren't correct anymore and so it hit that glass roof with way too much force, oof.

OMG wait! Is that my favorite ambiance track there?? OMG it is! I totally missed that it was used here! Episode got even better now!

JON: "Mm, they were… Well, let’s just say it’s not a complete shock there was something unnatural to them." Mr. “watches documentaries for fun” saw a few of Neil Lagorio's movies! Not surprised since he read a lot as a kid, why wouldn't Jon be into fiction?

DAISY: (sigh) "She’s Web. Spider’s sneaky like that. Like that lighter you’re always using; where’d you get that?" JON: "Mm. Good point. We should keep our eyes open. Anyways –" Hahaha, there's even static during "Good point". I can't wait to tell my story about the lighter, it's hilarious.

DAISY: (sigh) "Yeah, well – (sigh) What do you think? You think I’m weak, just – (sigh) – ‘cause I’m not already chasing the next kill? You think I’m less me?" JON: "I – (sigh) I don’t feel like I’m exactly in the best place to judge the… intersection between free will and humanity. (stuttering inhale) I’m still trying to figure that out myself." Those two <3 I'm happy Jon has someone this season who gets him. Who he can talk to. I love their friendship so much...

JON: "My – (large sigh) My memories of the coma are not clear, but I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I – I don’t know if I made the right decision; I’m stronger now, tougher, I can – (he cuts himself off) If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever? I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. And I don’t want to lose anyone else, so if I can maybe – stop that happening, and the only danger is to me, I – I’ll do it in a heartbeat; worst case scenario, the universe loses another monster." DAISY: "That’s messed up." JON: (small laugh) (inhale) "Yeah. I suppose it is." Jon. Stop it. Get some help.

JON: "It, uh – hm – Is it, uh – Weird question, but – I – (sigh) I haven’t seen you in my dreams? The last couple of weeks?" DAISY: "Oh, ah – No, I – I work here now. Figured it seemed to protect the others, so –" That sounded like that relative "I haven't seen you in so long, you never visit me!" XD But further confirmation, that the dreams stop when you're working for the institute.

DAISY: “Boo-hoo, I’m so alone and a monster.” Yeah, those two <3

DAISY: (darkly) "If she doesn’t, I’ll rip her throat out." I love the sound of that line!

Putting that therapy scene into a Web episode was such a mean red herring!

@a-mag-a-day

#a-mag-a-day #mag 136 #tma #tma spoilers

[argentnoelle]

Kira is Light Yagami’s Excuse

(read on ao3) The central interpretation that Death Note puts forth is that Light was just a teenager, an accomplished student who had everything going for him. He couldn’t handle having screwed up massively by accidentally murdering two guys, and ended up being non-magically corrupted by the power to kill. “Kira” is the name given to Light’s acts of murder by the general public. After quickly taking this in stride, thinking of Kira and Light as different entities explicitly allows Light to disassociate himself from situations that make him uncomfortable, as well as hype himself up with ideas about how grand his story is. You can see this actually happening in the early parts of the manga quite a bit.

During the Lind L. Tailor broadcast in chapter 2, L says to Light, “what you are doing... is evil!!” to which Light responds by completely flying off the handle. “Me... evil? I am righteous! I’m the hero who’s liberating people from fear. I’m the savior who’s going to be like a god of this perfect new world! Those who try to fight me... they’re the evil ones!!” and he unwisely writes down Lind L Tailor’s name and then gloats about it. “Now we’ll see what happens to those who offend Lord Kira.” By chapter 3, you have Light’s listless reaction to the epic fight between L and Kira that’s now in all the papers; he describes it to Ryuk as “take one step out of the house, all you hear about is L and Kira. You can’t avoid it, even if you want to... I guess it might be pretty interesting if I wasn’t Kira.” But after describing the stories that are in the papers, the radio, and TV, his dialogue changes to “if Kira pays too much attention to this stuff, it just stresses him out. Gotta give his mind a rest, once in a while.” When Light gets too close to the truth (being suddenly some kind of supervillain celebrity in a fight to the death with some shadowy entity “L” who has already figured out basically where he lives is stressing him out) he has to step back by not only framing his stress as a hypothetical, and his listlessness as logical, but also by putting the whole situation off onto “Kira” who has now in the space of a paragraph become “him” instead of “I.”

In chapter 3 you get another fascinating moment. When Light goes to the abandon building to practice his pyrotechnics, he talks to Ryuk about the danger he’s realized that the Death Note poses to him. “Until now,” he explains, “I was thinking if anyone in my family saw [the Death Note] I could explain it by saying I’ve been keeping notes on the Kira case, to practice becoming a detective...” but now that he knows that anyone who touches the notebook can see Ryuk it’s an entirely different matter. “Even without this headache, I’m walking on a tightrope here,” Light admits. “If I blow it... Kira... will have to kill his own family.” As he finishes his little speech the panel zooms out to see that Light is holding onto the Death Note with a sickly, uncomfortable look on his face, almost curled in on himself. He’s visibly sweating—not just one sweat drop to indicate discomfort but “shaking and sweating” levels of this is probably meant to be taken literally. Ryuk’s figure in the background looms over him, but Light feels trapped in this moment, stuck in his own head. It’s such a fascinating image, compositionally and in what it says about Light’s mental space. And it’s in the dialogue too. Once again, Light has used this conversational technique to try to distance himself from something unimaginably horrible to him. “If I blow it...” he starts, but he can’t finish it by saying, “I will have to kill my own family.” He can’t say that. He can’t even think it. No, “Kira” will have to do that. Kira will kill Kira’s family. But only if Light blows it. So Light has to be very, very careful. It casts Kira as an inevitability. Something that will just happen if Light fails. Light has no power over “Kira’s” actions. He washes his hands of the matter. In fact, he washes his hands so spectacularly that in the beginning of chapter 4, where the scene continues, he’s able to make a joke about Sayu having a heart attack just from seeing Ryuk’s face. The emotional minefield has been successfully sidestepped. “Kira” has the responsibility for all of Light’s unforgivable actions, “Light” can remain himself.

By chapter 22, when Soichiro affirms that L—who has found and accused Light of being Kira and is at this very moment sitting right next to him—is indeed L, Light has an internal panic which ends with him having to remind himself, “right now I’m Light Yagami, concerned about my father...” By this point in the manga, Light has gotten himself so deep into acting as Kira, and so many of his daily decisions are caused by whether it would make him look suspicious or not, that it’s his identity as “Light” that he has to consciously reaffirm.

The dichotomy between what Light’s two personas allow is perhaps never so well articulated than in the moment in chapter 32 where Light tells Ryuk, “Ryuga is Light Yagami’s friend. But L is Kira’s enemy.” Despite getting along well with Ryuga on a personal level and playing into the idea of them being friends in his ordinary life, Light is fully aware that L is and always has been trying to kill him, and their contrasting personas of “L” and “Kira” cannot both survive—it’s only a question of who will kill the other one first.

So if Kira is an excuse, then why does the Light we see in the first half of the manga, and the Light we see in the Yotsuba arc, feel so diametrically different? There’s a number of reasons. One is that, in the first arc, we’re given privileged access to inside Light’s head. We see his internal monologue, his plans, his occasional moments of weakness and doubt, his moments of triumph and despair—we’re like Ryuk, able to be up close and personal on the villain protagonist. Then, Yotsuba arc rolls around. What we see now is Light’s public face, and a lot of stuff about Yotsuba. Light doesn’t appear as much in this section—and when he does, we see much less of him. While we’re still occasionally given access to his inner monologue, much of what we see is him in silence and what he chooses to speak out loud to his father and coworkers and L. He’s also not the protagonist of this section. Yotsuba!Light doesn’t drive the story. He reacts to it. Even Misa has more moments of agency in this section than Light does. It makes for a profoundly different reading experience, and so the emotional image painted for the reader in the section is also going to be different. Light won’t feel like the same character not because he changed so fundamentally, but because we, the readers, changed position; and because Light is also in a different position. We’re seeing him from the outside, from a remove, in a situation where all Light can do is wonder about a truth we’re already aware of. For argument’s sake, imagine if the Yotsuba section had also been told with Light as the protagonist: we would have seen moments of him alone, moments where we learn about his reactions to being chained to L; we’d hear about his plans. Maybe L would interrogate him in private, and Light, who thinks he’s so innocent but who knows how bad the evidence looked, would have to react to this. There are ways to write Yotsuba arc where Light is still the main character, but that’s not how the story is being told. The plot of Death Note is about Kira (who happens to be Light Yagami). It has no interest in Light without the Death Note. Light without the Death Note is a plot device created by his previous self.

What we do see, in small glimpses (and it usually is “see”—the art shows more of Light’s interiority here than the writing does) is that Light is not as comfortable and confident and unruffled as he wants to project. In the background of panels, you see him react in all sorts of interesting ways. He also punches L in the face and has one of his most interesting speeches of the entire arc, which is enough to build an interpretation off of: “Don’t be ridiculous! Just because I’m not the true Kira... just because you were wrong, you want to give up?! You gonna sulk like a baby?!” He’s so mad at L.

L tries to explain that he just means that chasing after Kira doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere in the investigation so it might not be the most logical course of action, but Light can’t hear that. He’s still stuck in his emotional reaction. “Who’s the one who swore to send Kira to his execution?” he presses. Then he’s leaning forward, grabbing L by the shirt, like he’s going to shake him. “The police, the FBI agents, TV announcers, how many innocent people have been victimized?! You’re the one who put Misa and me in confinement!!” That’s the crux of the matter. Earlier, Light had said that Kira killing people was bad enough but he’d never forgive him for what he’d done to Light and Soichiro. Now you see what Light will never forgive L for. Getting locked up for fifty-three days.

There’s something really fascinating about this. The Light we saw in part 1 was a Light who was slowly being backed into an inescapable corner, but who had the hope that he would somehow win. The Light we see in the Yotsuba arc is one who still has the hope that he’ll somehow win, but he’s already suffered a defeat that the Light in part 1 could never even conceptualize. He’s been tortured. And he’s still technically a prisoner. Casuistor wrote the most amazing meta ever about Yotsuba!Light and his motivations, Hellscape. It’s the most in-depth I’ve ever seen someone discuss that version of him. As Casuistor says:

So to summarize in brief before moving onto an analysis of Light’s development during the Yotsuba arc itself, we have at this point a Light Yagami who feels as though he has he has endured a terrible injustice. He has spent the past couple of months accused of heinous crimes ranging from the deaths of thousands of criminals to potentially patricide. His integrity has been repeatedly attacked and slandered, and any defense of his own character that he has to offer is routinely disregarded. Light is his only advocate and naturally he feels quite seriously persecuted. [...] In fact, in direct reaction to bearing the weight of these accusations, Light becomes determined to prove he is not the monster people accuse him of being, and his actions during the Yotsuba arc very much reflects this desire to prove that he is a virtuous, moral and overall upstanding human being. What’s interesting is that this desire to prove himself is not just external. He wants to prove it to himself as well. This is not a driving motivation that Pre-Kira Light ever feels the need to act on; he knows and everyone else around him believes he’s a good person. Pre-Kira has nothing to prove; Yotsuba-Light has everything to prove. In fact, if Yotsuba-Light actually has more in common with Kira-Light than he does with Pre-Kira Light.  

What Casuistor goes through beat-by-beat is how everything Light does in the Yotsuba arc is to shore up a certain image of himself and protect the idea of him as innocent, and to make sure that L can’t find anything else to pin on him. Anyway, there’s far too many good points in that analysis to go into, but...

The handcuffs themselves are interesting to talk about because they have different meanings to the people they connect. On the surface, it’s meant to represent the promise to catch Kira together. Not in the roles of investigator and chief suspect as was the case previously, but as equals. Two brilliant minds dedicated to the same purpose of putting an end to Kira.

But the grin reality of the situation is that even though Light’s own wishes are to stay and work on the case, Light has no choice but to stay because he is literally handcuffed to a person who will not release him.

But what’s interesting about this is that as shown in that panel above, Light chooses to speak of being chained and having his freedom restricted in sugar-coated euphemistic language. With a new solid lead on the Kira case, Light believes there will be a day when he can make L see that the handcuffs won’t be necessary. In a sense, the handcuffs represent Light’s promise to himself – they are something he can be positively motivated by. This is Light’s personal promise to be proven innocent instead of a sign of his continued imprisonment.

To an extent, this trick of shifting the framing and context makes it possible for Light to achieve a truce with L.

I would add only one thing to that really great discussion. Casuistor has a fairly non-romantic (in all senses of the word) take on L & Light’s relationship. And I think it’s a pretty legit take with a good basis in canon. Light & L really have no particular reason to be friends or to like each other and plenty of reasons to hate each other, be irritated, and get on each other’s nerves. But I take a slightly different interpretation in that think that Yotsuba!Light, despite all his barely-hidden resentment towards L, completely believed that he enjoyed L’s company. I don’t think those things are incompatible for Light to feel, and in fact I think Light has a very pressing psychological reason to convince himself that he enjoys L as a person. Because he can’t leave, and if he admitted that to himself all the time he’d be confronted day in and day out with the idea that he’s nothing but a victim. From the beginning of canon, we see Light reject any interpretation that hinges on such a thing. Anybody might say that Light finding a random notebook and then seeing that actually, he killed people by accident and now a god of death is going to follow him around until he stops being interesting at which point that god of death will kill him is enough to consider Light a victim. Not Light, though. Light is obviously a god. Light is obviously chosen for higher things. Light is obviously just doing all this because he wants to.

The relationship between Light & Ryuk and Light & L is really rather similar in some ways.

So that’s where my interpretation splits from Hellscape, (which anyone who is interested in Yotsuba!Light or what exactly the whole amnesia thing was should read, it is so awesome). Yotsuba!Light is L’s friend and he is perfectly a-okay with being handcuffed to him, even if he actually isn’t.

And then there’s also Light’s relationship with his father, which is a whole other amazing and interesting part of canon. Touched on both by that meta, and also by13Beyond13, who discussed the difference in Light’s motivations and in who he’s using as a role model in the different parts of the story (L vs Soichiro). It’s really interesting.

And then he gets his memory back. And he screams.

Back in chapter 22, L asks Light what his image of Kira is, and you get probably the most self-aware explanation Light ever gives of himself and his actions until the “Kira knows he’s evil” speech after his father’s death. Light says:

“I think Kira is... an affluent child. If, as assumed, he can kill just by willing it... if a human being had that kind of power—using it to get rid of criminals, and at the same time making it an example to others to make the world a better place, is something only a child would think of doing. I’d say he’s anywhere from a fifth-grader to a high-school student... if it was anyone younger than that, they’d either be too scared by the power to use it, or they’d use it to kill people they knew, people they didn’t like... and it if was anyone older than that, an adult, they’d only use it for their own personal gain. You could think of tons of ways to use that power and become really rich. Kira still has some purity about him. He’s an affluent child, who already has everything he needs. I’d say he’s probably a junior-high student who has his own cell phone, computer, and TV.”

With the distance that creating a criminal profile of Kira offers, Light is able to admit why he did what he did and even give a nod to how his social status influenced how he went about using the death note. The most crucial moment in this profile is the line “Kira still has some purity about him.” L picks up on this as an oddity—the only place Light’s profile doesn’t match up with L’s own profile of Kira. In context, this line of Light’s refers to his position at the cusp between childhood and adulthood, but also foreshadows the inevitability that eventually, Kira will not “still have some purity about him.” By the time chapter 75 comes around, immediately after his father’s death, Light’s description of Kira has changed to the extraordinarily depressing, “Kira is a mass murderer... evil. That’s true. But there are may people who support Kira... that’s also true. I think Kira understands this. That what he does is evil. But Kira will sacrifice even himself to change the world for the better... that is the true justice Kira has chosen... that is probably what Kira is thinking...”

Soichiro, perhaps the moral heart of the story, sums it up in chapter 22, after Light has already spoken: “Kira is evil... there’s no denying that... but lately I’ve been starting to think of it more like this... the real evil is the power to kill people. Someone who finds himself with that power is cursed. No matter how you use it, anything obtained by killing people can never bring true happiness.”

And that plays out over the course of the story until Light’s eventually unhappy death.

Plenty of people have talked about Light’s whole breakdown starting with “that’s right. I am Kira.” But what I think is interesting is how it happens right after he’s been literally backed into a corner. Everyone knows he’s Kira. He can no longer sustain both “Light Yagami” and “Kira” and “Light Yagami” is the one who’s been struck down completely and resoundingly. Despite everything Light’s been doing for years to keep both these things in balance, to “walk the tightrope” he ends up being pushed off and it’s Kira’s side he lands on. He has to. Everyone knows, now, that Light is a murderer and that he’s Kira. He has no excuse for his actions unless he believes them wholeheartedly. If he’s Kira, then he doesn’t have to be hurt by this, although he still is. He basically pleads for everyone in Light Yagami’s life to understand him. Why should he care about that? It’s not just because he doesn’t want to die. There’s more to it. He needs the validation of feeling like he’s not evil. If the people who know him personally can say, you know what Light, you’re right. I get why you did it. Then it would all make sense. He would have given up “Light Yagami” and everything that belonged to him—his future, his family, his morals—for a higher purpose. Near cuts that down pretty quick with his “you’re just a crazy mass murderer,” and then adds insult to injury by asking what everyone else in the room thinks.

And no one comes to Light’s defense. Not a single person. You see a number of panels that starts with an almost vulnerable shot of Light looking down, seeming almost like he feels bad. The moment stretches, there are close-ups on his eye glancing over at everyone, and everyone, one by one, condemns him with silence. After these rows of panels, Light’s eye, crueler than ever, tilts up to look toward the heavens—he can’t gain validation from anyone on earth. He’s going to have to get it from himself. He’s going to have to convince himself that everyone else is “a bunch of hopeless fools...” and it’s only then that he glances down at his watch and decides to completely lose it for the mere chance of killing Near.

(on ao3)

#Death Note #my stuff #my meta