#i actually don't know what this style is

[akantorrr]

#wow akans is back to drawing ultrakill stuff? impossible! #ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #gabv1el #digital art #v1 #akans art #I actually really really really love how this one turned out #starting off 2024 with a banger (at least for me) #absolutely inspired by that other coahuilaceratops piece I did the other day- on my alt #tarot card or church stained glass; I don't know what this is but it's becoming my comfort art style #drawing/doodling like this is therapeutic for me istg xD just straight lines and circles and dots :>

[tshortik]

I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️

#i talk sometimes #art talk #i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately #also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!! #I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me? #i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details #and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself. #it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that #instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder. #i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!! #i just luv art man!!

[scribefindegil]

As much as I adore conlangs, I really like how the Imperial Radch books handle language. The book is entirely in English but you're constantly aware that you're reading a "translation," both of the Radchaai language Breq speaks as default, and also the various other languages she encounters. We don't hear the words but we hear her fretting about terms of address (the beloathed gendering on Nilt) and concepts that do or don't translate (Awn switching out of Radchaai when she needs a language where "citizen," "civilized," and "Radchaai person" aren't all the same word) and noting people's registers and accents. The snatches of lyrics we hear don't scan or rhyme--even, and this is what sells it to me, the real-world songs with English lyrics, which get the same "literal translation" style as everything else--because we aren't hearing the actual words, we're hearing Breq's understanding of what they mean. I think it's a cool way to acknowledge linguistic complexity and some of the difficulties of multilingual/multicultural communication, which of course becomes a larger theme when we get to the plot with the Presgar Translators.

#imperial radch #also a great example of the 'you don't have to be Tolkien' phenomenon #if you want to think about linguistic differences by building all the languages in your setting #and being able to explain what those differences are through actual texts in the language in question #that's AWESOME #but it's not the only way to do it #it's also interesting because of course this style only works in book form #everyone's speaking different languages but in a written account they're all 'translated' for you #but of course if it was a TV series they would all have to be speaking a language the audience understands #(or you *would* have to go wild with conlangs) #and i think that's really cool as well-- #how for a series where song is so central we don't actually hear any of the actual in-universe words or any of the music #it's all been filtered #and again you know this is happening but seeing the examples of how real songs--the shape hymns and 'L'homme Arme'--are presented #makes you a lot more viscerally aware of how limited your perspective is #it's good #ann leckie i love you

[anewp0tat0]

I tried but not very hard to see what the anniversary date was, and i decided to just prepare myself for the 16th or the 18th... it was the former. so, as always, but this time truly by accident... happy belated 17th birthday Black Butler!! I truly hope this year is amazing for us.

this year, I decided to use an idea I had wanted to try for a while but I never thought I would be able to pull off. and I still probably couldn't in the best way.... but regardless, here is a made up last chapter scenario.

you can also see this comic on webtoon here. whatever your fancy, if you please :>

#I don't know if this thing makes any sense or if it means anything at all. or if it looks like anything actually carefully put together #but hey it was nice! so I hope it brings a little bit of pleasant feelings... or terrible ones idk #i was going a page a day fully intending to finish by the 13th the latest but yeaaa things came up. but whatever this is the last day that #I'm in america until some months later so it's still a special day for me! so it still counts. and also do specifics really matter so much #at this point #sadly while I wasn't rushed this time I did intend to use the remaining days i had to revise the visuals framing and diologue. so I'm not #100% confident. but c'est la vie #kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuroshitsuji fanart #fanart #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #digital art #and... I would be absolutely lying if I didn't try to put just a little bit of dadbastian undertones in there. it's what I do #but I think it's up for interpration. after I decided that I was gonna draw in my own style instead of trying to replicate yana's(as fun as #that would be) i decided to go crazy

[sysig]

Puts the “plates” in “Fellplates” (Patreon)

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #Fellplates #Gaster #Papyrus #Hurt Gaster! Do it! Maybe classic will get a shiver down the infiniteness of the multiverse! #I wonder if he'd actually do it to himself or if he'd get it put on him by someone else for the full dramatic twist haha #Who even would? Asgore from sheer force? Alphys?? Idk lol #It's just the irony for me for now ♪ #Although to completely cover them there'd have to be four rather than two :0 Hmm #Alphys' gift of fingerless gloves was a lot less invasive hm ♪ But that's part of the fun #I don't mean to keep doing crossovers - quite anyway lol - but hmm could that be 2-P from Fellplates with so much empathy in his eyes? #I guess it's the question of if Monsters Are or if they are Made ♪ Personally I'm partial to the latter but I do still fall into the former #Well either way - the important part is a Papyrus that doesn't like what he sees! He knows how much those hurt first (or 2nd? pfft) hand #And then just some errant thoughts about the Lost Soul head style and Gaster's void scars - give 'em to this version why not #Does any Gaster remain unscathed? Would he even be Gaster in that case? :) #A smile behind the white glow and tired eyes ringed by dark scars ♪ Fellplates is fun because he always looks good when he's suffering #The void smoke is still quite fun to draw hehe

[coquelicoq]

as a huge unreliable narrator enjoyer i love the fact that the raven tower is narrated by someone who cannot lie. so the narration is not unreliable, and any kind of uncertainty is always couched in "here is a story i have heard" or "i imagine", but it scratches the same itch as unreliable narration because the evidentiality of the narration is still so central, just in the opposite way. stories that don't care about where the narrator is getting their information or what biases are present in the way that information is shared with us are on one end of a spectrum, and stories that do care about those things are on the other end, and the raven tower is firmly situated alongside the unreliably narrated stories even though the whole point is that the narrator is as motivated as it is possible to be to never say something that is untrue. and it's fascinating to see how ann leckie manages to build suspense and subvert expectations without really at any point deliberately misleading the reader. every time i reread one of her books, the bouncing of the dvd screensaver in my brain gets a little more frenetic. how does she do what she does. ann leckie what is your secret.

#this post is spoiler-free btw. the narrator is very upfront about the fact that it can't lie and says this very early in the story #i'm only like 40% through my reread and i don't remember any details of what happens but i'm already losing it #and the fact that it's first-person second-person narration...completely undivorceable from the conceit of the book #might write a different post about that but probably only after i finish rereading #i finally got my sister to agree to read it and she's like 'i read the first fifteen pages! i like the style' #and i'm barely restraining myself from being like girl please read another fifty pages and get back to me #if you are not frothing at the mouth by page 100 then your money back. guaranteed. #my sister loves semantics like the linguistic subfield of semantics so i've been begging her to read this for so many years... #like i KNOW she will love it when that stuff starts becoming apparent. which is remarkably early in the book #hrrrrhughghrhrrgh i want to talk about it so bad #the raven tower #ann leckie #my posts #unreliable narrators #or not!!! actually!!! #storytelling #semantics

[screwpinecaprice]

She's on a hospital bed, amnesiac after an accident and she's having a crush on this man who is apparently her husband.

@dragonuva's part on an art trade with them from last year! 🥰 It's based on the first chapter of Chiptune by Newlense.

Guys. This fanfic is my favorite FAVORITE connverse fic and I love it so much I don't care if the last update was in 2020 nor if it's never going to be continued. It's so tender and the angst whalloped my guts in the right places. 😭💕

#Yoo I can't believe I actually didn't post this. #There was a comment that described the fic as being like a dream and I agree. #connverse #Connie Maheswaran #Steven Quartz Universe #based on a fanfic #Pease ignore my own comment on the fic tho. I was so smitten by it it brought out the cheese in me. 😭😵 #There's something about the writing style that made me fall in love with it too. #Thank you for the art trade! #dragonuva #SU #Not my art #I will make my own fanart of this story. I swear. #Usually I don't mind that much if a fic is incomplete. I'm just glad I get to know and experience the story. #There IS one connverse fic that I actually did really hoped and was oh so curious to see what happened next. Last update on #that was on 2019 and it's marked ascomplete so I've just stopped hoping. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠༼⁠ ⁠•́⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠•̀⁠ ⁠༽⁠_⁠/⁠¯ It do be like that. #I do have a guess about something in Chiptune. Because something about Connie's circumstance is a little odd.

[larkoneironaut]

I had a dream that I was going on a ball and Solas was there, I tried to ignore him in like a shy or flirty way? And then that delicate, intimate touch when I was walking right past him … I’m never gonna forget that dream, I had to sketch it 😭

Pls ignore that Solas' scar is mirrored, I'm an idiot

#dragon age #bioware #my art #dai #dragon age inquisition #da4 #solavellan #? #I don't know if I was Lavellan tbh #I think I was just me #This is probably the closest thing to a self-portrait I'll ever draw haha #That dream was so intense my heart is RACING when I think about it #It was just so intimate #I had to calm down when I woke up like damn #He actually wore a glittering robe in Thranduil style but I'm exhausted and this was enough effort for a quick sketch 💀 #I was a bit lazy with this one but I had to stop myself from making a full painting out of this or like 4 - you know what I mean? #I would have burned myself out with this one 💀 #So have 4 sketches #I have to stop looking at them or else I'll find ten more mistakes that make my eye twitch #dread wolf #solas #fenharel

[stardestroyer81]

Seeing as I drew Anton fairly recently, I felt that it was only appropriate to also draw his cranked-out coworker Dynamite Annie, and it looks as though she has something very important to say... 💚🏳️‍⚧️✨

#⭐ Star's Art ⭐ #ANTONBLAST #Dynamite Annie #Annie Antonblast #Annie Bell #Trans Rights #Aseprite #Coolness #Fun Fact: Annie Bell gives me massive gender envy. #Where I drew Anton in my own style... I decided to try out the messy lineart style from the release date trailer's cinematics for Annie #It was actually a lot tougher than I was expecting it to be. But for my first go I don't think I did half bad! #If anything I'll probably stick with my usual style when I draw her or Anton in the future #That or I could try the key art style with the deep blue outlines. It's very pretty #Anyways... back on track! #I don't know how popular of a headcanon this is... but personally? #I headcanon that Annie is a trans woman. She just has that vibe to her (Totally not projecting) #And with that headcanon came the idea of drawing her repping her trans girl swag! #She's really fun to draw too. Y'know what else is fun? The ANTONBLAST demo! #If you haven't already... go give it a whirl! It's a blast! 💙🏳️‍⚧️✨

[brazen-art]

Chiropractors near you:

(continue your art journey today by looking at this cool murkrow!)

#okay i did a nice blendy rendered piece now back to lineart and block colours- #even though that forces me to Think Harder kshkhh #I Will learn how to Colour using Solid Textured Blocks #its one of my fav art styles #one of my friends does colouring like that and its just the best #[their blog is ambathy-arts - go look at their fashionable bird people] #actually im just going to link one of their pieces in my description #its My Art and I can yell about my Cool Friends here #anyway here you go bracken lovers #come get your juice #lethal company #lethal company fanart #lethal company bracken #what are other tags artists use? this is a nice standalone #art #artists on tumblr #(ironically im not even that much of a fan for brackens lmao) #they're still neat #but listen. man. they have killed me -so- much #im dying out here. #my neck is apparently sooo snappable and I don't like that at all #people can't know I have a weenie neck :( #in video games that is #my irl neck is so strong and brawny and cool you can trust me #(do people read these tags?) #you should cause you need to know about the beautiful friend art #but you can ignore the neck stuff #if you want that is #im not the boss of you #(edited the face shhh)

[megaloserrr]

haaayyyy....

#losertalks #i don't actually know if there's a tumblr ver on this yet #if i did i would've reblogged it #but its all over twitter so #rubs hands 2gether #also very curious to know what my artstyle traits are #bc it's hard to see them as the artist #evil art style challenge

[skyeslittlecorner]

Can I request a Raphael x angel MC please 🥺

The Gabriel x Michelle and Lucifer x Michael were so good 😭😭

I'm stuck with you and your scenarios now 😠

You're welcome, dear~! I see my total eclipse of the brain bring some good after all. I hope I will be able to fulfill this request. Rafael is on the verge of being a character I dare write for, but let's try.

It was all your fault, that you make Raphael feel so special, then forget about it, and after all, you died. Lowly, pathetic human being. How dare you? Do you think he will forgive you for this? Tsk. Not only stupid, but naive, too. You are lucky that you chose to be reincarnated in heaven. Maybe there's still a chance for your pitiful soul.

And *maybe* you will repent if stop teasing him and start to suck.

Even though you were below him, licking his piercing and letting him tug at your hair, you knew who was boss. Poor, unaware angel. Blessing? Being the chosen one? Good joke. Only few strokes and his tip was already covered with whitish ooze. You raised an eyebrow and snickered.

“And who is the pathetic one?” 

He grabbed your hair harder. 

“Shut... up. Do your work.”

“Truly pathetic…” Your tongue stroked his trembling manhood. “Swayed so easily.”

“Enough!” 

As you opened your lips once more, he thrusted deep inside your mouth. Smiled vindictively as you chocked. He wanted you to lose your breath, to finally be quiet, and obediently end the act of his ascension. As cruelly, as holy. New madness hitted his insides as you murmured with a trickle of saliva ran down your chin.

“Better…” Those full cheeks, clenched throat and murderous intent in your eyes make you both dirty and perfect. Perfect to be used. Clouded with pleasure, he thought that he found his new favorite toy.

All Raphael stans! Let me redirect you to @livelaughlovesubs and her wonderful fics - here you got first and second part. I assume you've already seen it, if not, check it out~ She can write and catch his personality way better than me

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb raphael #skye's little talk #IGNORE MY RAMBLING IN TAGS #i know it may be not as good as previous ones #especially since Raphael is the seraph I have the hardest time empathizing with #I hope I didn't make it sound too ooc well oops lmao #i feel i'm wayy better when i can write in third person with actual characters #because mc must be more ambiguous and I can't go all in with them like with two characters that have established story and personality #ok established is a big word for characters we don't know yet #but i can make headcanons based on common ground #and for mc we may have the default ra-on but lets be honest most of us makes mc totally different from what we know in-game #especially when it comes to personality and that's crucial in writing #or maybe it's because i'm way more used for style i use in a book than for fanwriting cuz i got way more expirience in the first one #ahemmm i got a little carried away

[missingexaltation]

How Eddie wins over Mr Harrington (by barely trying)

(in ten simple-ish steps)

Basically, how I imagine Steve's dad to be. I kind of think they have more in common than they don't, and maybe his son being queer is the *kick* that he needs to be a better human being (just like Nancy was for Steve).

Richard Harrington unexpectedly comes home from a business trip to find his son in flagrante delicto on his couch with an immediately antagonistic young man, (Edward, he later discovers), he waits in the kitchen, seething with disappointment and rage. Steven takes his things and leaves without a word, leaving the Munson boy to very purposefully throw Steven's house key at Richard's feet, keeping eye contact as he does so. The disrespect is blinding, and that night Richard drowns his anger in whiskey.

Days later his son comes home to collect his remaining belongings, supported by the Munson boy and his uncle. Wayne Munson is a enigma; on the one hand, clearly a soft liberal, but also a no-nonsense, sensible veteran with family values. Edward doesn't acknowledge Richard at all, too focused on guarding Steven from him. He watches his son cry like a child in the backseat, half listens as Wayne encourages him to keep in contact, and inwardly flinches when he sees Edward glare at him through the car window. He's not sure why his chest aches. Steven chose this path, he tells himself. Steven chose this.

Richard returns again to Hawkins, some weeks later, detouring past the store his son works in. He finds himself parked opposite, watching as Steven dances childishly with a female colleague through the shop windows. He's smiling and laughing and Richard's chest aches again. The passenger door opens and that boy gets in without permission. 'Stevie doesn't need you', he says, bold as brass in leather and covered in tattoos and chains, 'but he'll forgive you if you ask'. It hurts, and the only way Richard can breathe again is to invite them both to dinner later in the week. The subtle relief on Edward's face is immediate, and Richard hates himself a little less, though he's not sure why. He spends the drive home wondering at what point his son's life became unknowable.

Dinner starts awkwardly. Steven barely speaks, but Edward refuses to be quiet. He's a vocal young man, argumentative and strangely principled. They have polar opposite opinions on politics, and while Edward's not shy about his opinions, Richard is more than his equal on the topic. It's the sort of conversation Richard enjoys, trading viewpoints and internalising their differences. The evening ends on a warmer note as both Steven and Edward shake his hand as they leave. Formal. It's only a few steps to the car, but he notes that the boys hold hands nonetheless, as his wife tightly holds his. Middle ground, he thinks. They're not condoning the relationship of course, but accepting it for now. There's time for Steven to come to his senses.

Richard next meets Edward when he has to visit Thatcher's. His driver side tyre has a slow puncture, and although Edward's working on another customer's car he swaps with a colleague so he can see what the issue is. A simple 'he's Stevie's dad' gets him a family discount, and Edward changes the tyre himself when it's deemed too damaged to repair. As he works, Richard learns through his unending monologue that this job is temporary, as Edward's internship at the tattoo parlour doesn't pay, and won't for at least another year, that he needs the money now, as he and Steven are saving for their own place. Richard's immediate instinct is to give them the money himself, but knows it wouldn't be accepted. He takes comfort that Steven's in good hands at least. The Munsons seem to be a practical, friendly people.

Weeks later, when he's back in Hawkins again, he bumps into Edwards uncle, who's insistent on getting coffee and clearing the air. Richard guiltily confesses he's not comfortable with the idea of his son being one of them, that he's not sure he ever will be. Wayne simply points out that at least he's trying, and to keep trying. Apparently Edward's father didn't even do that much. Richard later relays the encounter to his wife, of how overtly proud Wayne is of Edward (my Eddie, he'd said). Richard's not felt proud of Steven for a few years now, only infuriated that he's intent on throwing his life away, but Wayne had plenty of happy stories of him too. As parents, they feel equally guilty and spend the evening drinking and reminiscing on Steven's childhood. It feels like they're reminding themselves of their son more with every day that passes.

He's still in town on the following Tuesday evening, and decides to take Wayne up on his offer and visit the bar that he recommended. He discovers that Edward's a talented musician. Even if it's far too aggressive and loud for Richard's own tastes, there's dedication, commitment and passion in each of the boys on the stage. He remembers his own music idols, how passionately they preached against the war in Vietnam, and he wonders when exactly it was that he stopped noticing the injustices of the world, when it was that his business suits became a comfort instead. He's quickly cornered by Wayne, Jim Hopper and David Jones ('my son's on the drums', he says, proudly). But they're all proud of their boys, he adds, and equally appalled by their music tastes. He goes on to say that the parents take it in turns to keep an eye on the boys each week, after what happened earlier in the year. Richard's in utter shock after hearing that there was a murderer on the loose not long ago, and plans to stay in town more after hearing that both boys were involved. He's clearly out of place and out of touch, but they're kind enough to not mention it. He buys the drinks for the remainder of the night, as penance. He has nothing else to offer, but hopes that's enough to start. His son could have died.

As is habit now, when he's in town, Richard drives past the video store to glimpse his son through the window. Further down the street he catches Edward balancing takeaway coffees whilst trying to open the door to the tattoo parlour. It takes moments to pull over and offer his assistance, and it hurts when Edward is surprised by the gesture. Richard's invited into the shop, and although Edward's busy, 'of course he has time for his father in law'. The phrase knocks him emotionally off balance, but Edward doesn't notice, simply updating him on their house hunt, and inviting them to the house warming, pending Stevie's approval. He shakes Edward's hand when he leaves, and when he turns back to his car, notices Steven quietly watching him from the window of his store. He waves, and after a moment his son waves back. He's alive, and there's hope, at least.

He and Kathleen invite the boys and Wayne over for dinner. He sees Steven smiling in the car as they arrive, and although it's faded by the time Richard opens the door, it returns tenfold when he shakes Edward's hand and greets him with 'hello son'. Richard's still very much uncomfortable (especially with how 'hands on' Edward seems to be) and if he finds himself in the kitchen knocking back a few more drinks than usual then it's his own business. It's worth it at the end of the night, when Steven invites them to their housewarming, and actually seems to want them there. He feels Wayne's approval through their goodbye handshake, and it makes him feel as though he's on the right path.

Jim Hopper lets them in through the front door. It's a small house, clean and characterless, and full of people Richard doesn't know. In the yard, Steven's at the grill with some other boys his age, and Edward is in the middle of the lawn, spinning a curly-haired teenager around like he weighs nothing. They look happy. Settled. Edward spots them first, waves them over and starts introducing them to the other adults. Steven brings them drinks, is beaming behind his sunglasses. (He can't remember the last time Steven smiled at him.) Hours later, when they leave, Edward shakes his hand and thanks them for coming (for trying, but that's unspoken), and Steven hugs him for the first time in so, so long, burying his head in Richard's shoulder like he used to as a child. Kathleen cries on the drive home, and he's not much better, but they're happy tears. He's a slow learner, Kathy too, but they're learning.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #i dunno...i just like the idea that both Steve and his dad are passively bigoted until their beliefs are challenged...then they change #season 1!Steve was an ass...if he hadn't had his lightbulb moment he could have ended up just like his parents IMO #Eddie is the catalyst...the opposite of what Mr Harrington stands for & challenges every one of Mr Harrington's principles just by existing #might actually write this one out long style as i have so many thoughts #wayne munson #Wayne Munson carefully 'gentle parenting' the Harringtons is also kinda hilarious ngl #tw: mild homophobia #i also don't know why Richard fits...maybe because it's usually shortened to 'Dick' and he really does seem like one in canon

[kyouka-supremacy]

So no sskk?

#😭😭😭 C'mon 😭😭😭 #We deserved it!!! After what the anime did to us!!!!!! #On a different note Dazai finally died 🥳🥳🥳 Love wins #I guess I'll look at that panel of Akutagawa carrying Atsushi bridal style (not really but I'm coping) till the new chapter comes out. Eh #I wanted them to fight... We really can't have nice things #Ugh. WE REALLY CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS I'm okay actually I just. Nnnggggggghhhhhhhh #I /know/ the manga doesn't revolve around sskk (unfortunately) but I can't help but wish they'd have more screentime... #By the looks of it. Since Dazai absolutely can't die. Some ada ally is going to write on the page to rewrite everything soon #(page that they acquired somehow in the meantime. Don't ask. I just don't think there's any other way this could go. #A Ranpo ex machina or something) #And the arc is going to be soon done with. But I don't want it to end yet I want my juicy sskk conflict... #I wanted them to deepen the “I know you're still in there” “Why did you save me” plotlines... C'mon... #(((I wanted homoerotic bloodsucking))) #(((If we have a whole vampire arc ending without even a single scene of homoerotic bloodsucking in it #you're never going to hear the end of me))) #Alas... Maybe there's still hope. #I hope the skkers enjoyed the skk (╥﹏╥) #random rambles

[canisalbus]

I love the shapes you use to draw machete, or really any character!! The way you draw noses, ears, bodies, fur, it looks like of I were to reach my hand out I could actually feel it, the bumps in the skin the squish of the flesh the softness of the hair. Not to mention the colors you use are very pleasing to the eye. So lovely... keep up the phenomenal work!!!

Ah, thank you so much!

#that's actually one of the tricks I use when I'm having trouble getting the shape and form of something right #I try to visualize the thing right in front of me and rotate it around and look at it from different angles #and imagine that if I could touch it how flexible and yelding it would be and what the surface would feel like #since I don't shade my art very dutifully the sense of tangibility has to come from somewhere else #so I guess I'm putting a lot of eggs in the shape basket #and I try to give off the effect that despite the flatness of my style the things I draw still exist in 3d space and have weight and volume #I've talked about this before but man I love anatomy it's one of my favorite things in the world #I specifically try to convey the feel that there's layers of muscle and bone and various other tissues under the skin #like my characters are made of flesh and not solid uniform rubber coated with fur or something like that (?) #I don't know what I'm talking about it's late hah #but I'm glad you like my art #anonymous #answered

[zorilleerrant]

Tim is fine with being protected. It comes from being the least trained in a family full of people with borderline supernatural skills, it comes from playing backup, from being the eye in the sky during so many missions when he has more support skills than those better equipped to be boots on the ground. It comes from being on so many teams with so many people with so many powers and it comes from being practically family to household names. It comes from being the one Robin that’s always there for Batman to play it safe with.

Tim is not fine with a civilian putting himself in danger. It’s not because it’s Bernard, he tells himself, over and over again. It’s any time it’s someone with less training, less armor, less experience in the field. Anyone with fewer weapons, anyone with fewer allies, anyone who can’t see the split second decisions the villains are making with someone else’s life on the line. Anyone who didn’t devote themselves to this, who didn’t look at the symbol of the Bat and agree to be part of the venture, paring off every extraneous branch on the journey until the pike is honed smooth, ready to throw.

It’s every civilian, but it’s one civilian, one with a lopsided smile and the most textbook perfect punch he puts his whole weight behind, a body at peak physical health but without the kind of reflexes scarred in day after day he needs to stand his ground. Smooth skin, few scars. Hands soft despite the callouses and gentle, carefully applying stitches, bandages, injections they’re not yet used to holding. One civilian with ridiculous, almost unintelligible good luck wishes, and no fashion sense, who talks too fast to keep himself safe when he’s in someone else’s sights.

But Bernard knows people, he knows places, he has a name with weight where Robin’s doesn’t matter much and Tim Drake’s even less, and he’s willing to throw it around Tim like the shield it is. He puts his body in between Tim and harm, and still that easy smile, still those eyes shining with some kind of hidden plan, some words unspoken because you know that once they are, they’re going to be good. He doesn’t tell Tim the way out. Tim isn’t supposed to have the kind of skills he needs to navigate a situation like this, so why let him in on the secret?

From everyone else’s perspective, Tim is soft and small and spoiled, Tim is the kind of kid who doesn’t even know himself enough to be sure he wants to hold hands. A rich kid who’s never gotten his hands dirty, a pretty little trophy on the arm of someone whose gaze holds the weight of the world when he carefully measures his words. Someone there to giggle when Bernard asks if they’re absolutely sure they really want to do that.

Bernard knows who he is. Bernard knows what Tim would throw himself bodily between, knows how much he would give, how much he has given, for his friends, and his family, and Gotham. How much he would give for Bernard. He knows that Tim would fight tooth and nail, and how well he knows where each tooth and each nail fits for maximum damage, to keep himself alive those few seconds long enough to wait for help. Bernard knows what Robin can do, would do, will do again once they’re out and safe and free.

But Tim knows just how fragile the human form is. How many bones there are to break and how many pints of blood there are to lose, how deep scarring has to go before it’s impossible to move. He knows the spots that hurt and the spots that harm, and he knows that the bravado is just a façade. That if anyone sees through Bernard’s act, sees through his ploys and appeals to an authority that scares him as much as his audience, that Bernard has just as many points of vulnerability as anyone else who’s lain broken and cold before him.

Tim will be the princess in the castle, and Bernard his knight, but for all the things he knows a dragon can do. Tim can count the dragons around them. Bernard can, too. Bernard’s been a dragon on his own, or else the child of one, and he knows firsthand the burns they leave, and still he sweeps across the ash like it isn’t even there. It’s Robin who can do something, Robin the wizard with ancient tomes and sage advice, but Tim is the only one here, and no one ever wants the princess to rescue herself. He has to let Bernard be his knight.

But Bernard speaks the magic words, and Tim does trust him, places his life so carefully in his lover’s hands and closes his eyes against the chill, and Bernard takes that gift for what it means, carries it with all the weight it has and tucks it up so gently against his own heart. Tim isn’t always the one with the way out, and he isn’t always the one who can do the protecting, and he’s used to that. But he slips his fingers through the one hand he thought he’d always be able to hold without being led by it, and lets that perfect image shatter. There’s no keeping Bernard away. He’s already involved. More involved than Tim ever was, in some ways, and less in the ways that Tim can still keep him out of it. Not safe, none of them were ever safe, but not as fragile as the snowglobe he was trying to frame the picture with, and there are more angles than he was prepared to watch. Still, Tim has contingencies. And the contingency, now, is to let Bernard protect him for once, just like he promised he would.

#look i said something #my writing #fanfic #batman #timber week 2023 #tim drake #bernard dowd #timber #timbern #I don't know what writing style this is I'm not sure it's actually in Tim's voice I guess I'm in a weird mood #slowly chipping away at these. probably eventually get there