#humans will pack bond with anything

[injuries-in-dust]

Captain’s log, number 197.

Well, it finally happened. They warned me it would when I took humans aboard, but I didn’t believe them.

The humans have threatened mutiny over an object they have pack-bonded with.

A few cycles ago, one of the humans placed ... decorative items ... what are they called? “googling eyes?” upon one of the maintanence drones. While against procedure, this seemed to be amusing to the humans and I let them have this bit of enrichment to their environment.

Last cycle another human, or perhaps the same one, I haven’t been able to get a clear answer on who did it, decided to expand upon this decoration with the addition of black bonding tape, cut into shapes the humans find very amusing.

See attached picture for clarity:

In another cycle we will be docking at space-station 114-Hartnell for our annual maintanence and reguation-compliance inspection. I need not say how we must be reguation compliant in order to maintain our trade lisence with the alliance.

This would, of course, include that all maintanence drones are kept up to code. So I ordered the humans to remove the decorations.

... I ...

...I have no words ...

Their reaction.

They named him.

It! I meant to say, they named it.

They stated, and I quote, “You will not touch one hair of Robert Floor-Buffington the third, captain, or there’ll be a problem!” 

They’ve made up stories! Robert Floor-Buffington, he’s a humble, but hard working space bot, who just wants to do right for his a robot wife, and robot children!

It’s a maintanence drone! Identical to the hundred other maintanence drones we have on board.

But the humans they’re insane!

They just will not be moved on this issue.

... Maybe I can pursuade them to just ensure this Robert Floor-Buffington is kept out of the inspectors way. We have a hundred identical models, surely they won’t notice that one is missing?

***Log paused for incoming message***

Captains log addendum.

Perhaps the inspectors will not notice four maintanence drones are missing.

The humans have decided to decorate three other drones and have taken to referring to them as the “wife and two children of Robert-Floor Buffington the third.”

At this time, there is a heated debate occuring in storage bay three over what the names of this robot family will be.

...

...

...

Additional. I have over two-hundred days of shore-leave accrued. I think I’ll be making good use of that in the near future.

#humans are weird #humans are strange #humans will pack bond with anything #humans are space australians #humans are space orcs #humans will pet anything #humans will befriend anything #short story

[zeldathusiast]

My Roomba just tried to vacuum my foot on accident and for some god forsaken reason I scolded it like a *dog.*

"Ah-ah-ah! Bad Scooter! Bad!" I say, before proceeding to reassure the bot that "it's okay, I know you didn't mean to :)"

Then I stopped dead in my tracks and realized I had just scolded and comforted a robot vacuum.

#humans are space orcs #humans will pack bond with anything #IT LOOKED SO SAD #EVEN THOUGH IT HAS NO FACE? #HELP

[lady-halibuts-chambers]

TFW you realize you have packbonded with a plastic spoon, because it is a good and loyal spoon that lives in your purse and you take everywhere and you are calling a spoon good and loyal.

#humans will pack bond with anything #chatter #humor #yes it has been there for years and not broken #thus good and loyal #personal

[variablejabberwocky]

i have found something amazing

apparently the "humans are space orcs" / "earth is a death world" / "humans will pack-bond with anything" ideas have broken containment and are on ao3

THERE ARE FANDOM-SPECIFIC FICS WITH THESE THEMES

i have found a treasure trove of Good Shit

#ao3 #fic recs #humans are space orcs #earth is space australia #earth is a death world #humans will pack bond with anything

[sweetie-peaches]

Being completely honest I do think that the qsmp members attachments with the eggs despite knowing they’re fictional and it won’t effect them if they die and yet creating such a strong parental bond could be studied

It’s so fucking interesting

#peaches posts #qsmp qosts #qsmp #qsmpblr #humans will pack bond with anything

[kirwell]

Human packbonding is such a weird phenomenon, and it never actually hits that you've fallen victim to it once again until sometime later. My mom bought me this skeleton prop for last Halloween, and I set it up at my kitchen table and dressed it up in nice festive attire. Then I started calling him Wiggins, and I would say good morning to him, along with my cat, Allie, and my bamboo plant, Calico (my kitty is also a calico,, but I liked the name and it just happened that way idkdontquestionit) Now Halloween is over and all my other decorations are put away, but I can't find it in me to store Wiggins away in a lonely closet. It's May now, and he's still chillin at my table like a little undead gentleman <3 I can't understand why I did this. No logical reason why I should still have him out. Doesn't do anything. But Wiggins is a part of the household now, and I've accepted that. My mom is also aware of Wiggins and calls him that whenever she comes over to visit. Secondhand packbonding?? Conclusion: packbonding to objects is weird, but undeniably human and it's kinda wholesome ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭ But also,,, I like to think that if I ever woke up in some twisted alternate dimension facing humanity's apocalypse, that Wiggins would remember that we're friends and not serve me to the supreme dark overlord that's taken over the world.

#humans are weird #pack bonding #why are humans like this #why am I like this #I love Wiggins i aint gonna lie #my skelly boi #ya'll wanna see him? #humans are odd #I will remake Wiggins in Sims one day #maybe I'll draw him too #skeletons #Does this count as having a skeleton oc? #humans will pack bond with anything

[27vampyresinhermind]

Ok, we’ve all been here long enough to have seen some variation of the whole “humans will pack bond with anything” thing, right?

So I need to know who else is watching Anti-Reset and who else has already pack bonded with little robot dude!!! Because little robot dude, I’m gonna call him I9, is the sweetest little robot and I adore him!!!!

THEY’RE SO SOFT!!!!!!!

Also, I want him to get in a fight with the roomba….I don’t know why. I just do.

Also also, since there’s the whole AI thing, I’m wondering if I9 has been learning things on his own when he’s not “supposed” to. The way it looks is that the company essentially downloads information to him and he applies that information in the real world. But I got the feeling that he was listening to those two dudes talking about him in the lab when he wasn’t technically “on”. One of the pitfalls of AI in the sci-fi I’ve seen is that you can’t give something the capability to learn and then try to prevent it from learning things you don’t want it learning. (Humans are the same.) It only knows to learn.

Taiwan is already hitting it out of the park yet again with this one so I’m very excited to see this play out.

#Anti-Reset #Anti Reset #Taiwanese BL #humans will pack bond with anything

[fiatsound]

I have a deep-seeded distrust for a hell of a lot of modern tech but I MUSTsay…. I do feel quite jolly when the dish washer and the washing machine and the microwave and the kettle sing their little tunes to let us know that their task is done !

#tea talks #humans will pack bond with anything #I am humans

[injuries-in-dust]

"Human-Mark, you have to help me! Human-Alex is trying to poison me!"

Mark looked confused as Chixx continued to fluff their feathers in a sign of stress and worry.

"Alex is the kindest person I've ever known. They would never!"

Chixx produced a small box from a satchel hanging around their neck. "But they sent me these highly toxic balls of death!"

Mark looked at the box and smiled. "Those are chocolates."

Chixx dropped the box to the ground. "The most toxic of poisons! Are they threatening me? Why would they want me dead?!"

Mark shook his head. "Calm down guy. Look, chocolates aren't poisonous to humans. I'm sure Alex just forgot that not everyone can eat them..." he trailed off as a thought occurred. "Just let me check something.

He pulled out his computer and opened up a calander to check earth time against the galactic standard.

First Mark's checks flushed red, then a smirk crossed his face. "Dude. I didn’t know Alex was like that."

Chixx was not comforted by this tone.

"It's valentines day on earth."

"What does that mean?!"

Mark had to stifle laugher as he spoke. "Well, it's a traditional holiday when people usually give gifts to someone they have romantic feelings for. Dude, Alex wasn't trying to poison you. They like you man, really LIKE you!"

Chixx wasn't fluffing their feathers out of stress anymore. Their eyes grew wide as realisation dawned upon them.

(If anyone wants to continue this, you have my permission.)

#humans will pack bond with anything #humans are space australians #humans are space orcs #humans are weird #love is love #written in five minutes

[mrblazeflappybird]

This leaf must have just fluttered into my room through the window so now he's my friend and I drew a face on him and named him Kevin Krunchy Leaf (thanks @ghostlune for the name!!)

#leaf #humans will pack bond with anything #hes my friend #i love him #i love him so much #leaf friend

[kaxenart]

While customer-service bots like TK-074 are human-analogous, robots used for combat are usually not (aside from bodyguard-level ones that need to fit into buildings for humans).

The majority of humans in the setting feel kind of indifferent or negative towards the idea of robot personhood, but I've seen enough on the Webbed Sites to know lack of human-analogous features would never stop 100% of humanity from seeing robots are pleasant company.

#TKverse #the “head” is for better wi-fi #the CPU is in the crotch #humans will pack bond with anything

[kosmicposum]

I made this for a friend and I fell in love and want to keep him

#humans will pack bond with anything #crochet #i think this is microcrochet? #mini plague doctor #i love him #his name is george #i just know my friend is gonna say something out of pocket over the beak #and then i will gratefully keep this little bastard and try again

[sid-posts]

a guy in my poetry seminar just said that a family of squirrels live by his house and they had a baby die so he brought them acorns like people bring food when family members die and that's literally so sweet? i love humans

#humans will pack bond with anything

[thelocalthembo]

I no longer wish to be referred to as the "mom" friend. I wanna be the capybara friend. I, too, am shaped like a pig yet oddly friend shaped, have a litter of five and will pack bond with anything.

#capybara #capybarafriend #friend shaped #pack bonding #humans will pack bond with anything #mom friend

[superiorgoobus]

Yallllll

I just watched a girl leaving the Uni dining hall stop to Pat a KiWiBot on the head and I'm not at all emotional about it (lies)

A KiWiBot is something our university introduced two months ago where people can order snacks from the dining hall and the little robot brings it to them anywhere on campus.

At first we thought they were a bit odd, and sometimes in the way, but in just 8-9 weeks we've come to love them like little pets that love us because they bring us snacks when asked.

#university #Uni #snacks #robots #humans will pack bond with anything

[eyeofnewtblog]

Things that happen at work:

My boss’s boss’s boss: Hey! Please don’t yell at me.

Me: What? I only yell at you when you fuck up my paperwork.

My boss’s boss’s boss: *holds up a giant stack of pink vehicle inspection forms that is a solid three inches thick*

Me: Oh! That’ll only take me about ten minutes, that’s not yelling worthy.

My boss’s boss’s boss: Oh! Cool! So. Kittens? *points to the bathroom*

Me: Yeah, of course! They’re old enough to be picked up now, if you want to!

Twenty minutes later, to the point that I have forgotten that he ever even came by…

My boss’s boss’s boss: *dashing out of the kitten bathroom* Oh fuck oh fuck, I’m so late! Do NOT tell anyone where I was!

Me: *to his departing back* Okay? (As if anyone is going to come ask me…but still…poor kitten loving man will remain anonymous forever)

#humans are space orcs #authority means nothing in the face of kittens #dude who runs the whole state division of our company got majorly side tracked by my adorable grand kittens #humans will pack bond with anything #men fucking love baby anythings and you cannot convince me otherwise