#how to keep in touch with friends

[for-the-roses]

bring back e-mails!

today i found an old icloud account i had, and i carefully went over dozens of emails. i found tons of photos, videos and adorable emails i sent to people who were truly important to me in the past.

i'm done with instant messages. there's too much pressure to reply quickly ughhhhh

i feel like starting a monthly newsletter. like every month i'll email my closest friends with updates on my life, and they will send me their updates back whenever they feel like it.

is that too cringy?

#email #newsletter #how to keep in touch with friends #long distance friends #venting #emailing

[birdmenmanga]

I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.

Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.

The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"

I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too

#just thinking thoughts... #disco elysium #idk man when did we get so scared of failing!! #people never want to speak in class because 'what if I'm wrong :(((' #well then you are wrong... that is okay... it's normal to fail... sometimes saying the wrong thing is a great way to jumpstart a topic... #'getting a good grade in X is both normal to want and possible to achieve' #okay sure but have you made peace with the fact that getting a BAD grade in X isn't a bad thing? #a bad grade in being friends... okay... so you didn't check up on someone in 3 months... you failed... that's fine... #you can learn from it!! you can learn how to keep in touch with people. how to take care of them when they're sick. #how to resolve a dispute. how to communicate and compromise. these are all things you are not born with #and will fail first before succeeding at #Like yes I get that in the age of surveillance your failures may be recorded and preserved forever and that's not great #but if we don't normalize failure I really think we'll just suffocate and die

[smash-chu]

Long distance loneliness

#my art #doodles #smash-chu's art #not having the luxury of being able to just drive and see someone i know and love #having all my human connection come from digital screens when not visiting my family once or twice a year #it makes your heart sink down into a place that is hard to get out of #a place of acceptance that i will just have to live with being lonely #i love my friends #i just wish they weren't so spread out away from me #in a way i was left back here cause i was the only one that didn't move back to their parents #and now i struggle alone being comforted via keeping in touch online #but it can never replace seeing face to face #getting to be right there next to someone #touch starved is a understatement #but for now that is just how it has to be #anyways #my period is frying my brain making every feeling feel more intense so i feel super fucking alone right now #it's fine it'll go back to being numb soon enough #but sometimes you just need to let stuff out

[shortnotsweet]

[ “SOMEBODY TOLD ME”]:

BREAKING MY BACK JUST TO KNOW YOUR NAME. SEVENTEEN TRACKS AND I’VE HAD IT WITH THIS GAME. A BREAKIN’ MY BACK JUST TO KNOW YOUR NAME—BUT HEAVEN AIN’T CLOSE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS.

— The Killers, Hot Fuss (2004)

Princess Rhaenyra’s insolence is wearing her stepmother’s patience thin. Queen Alicent is not ten years her senior, but even during her own sixteenth year, she cannot recall herself behaving so brazenly. She would never burst into courtly discussions in nothing but gilded armor and the underskirts of her riding leathers, awash in blood. (She would never be spotted in blood that was not her own, anyway. Alicent has never picked up a sword, not one that belonged to her.) Nevermind that Rhaenyra is attending to diplomatic affairs with bared teeth and scales, no—the crux of the matter is just that, her affairs. Rhaenyra is the Realm’s Delight, a beauty incomparable to any fair maiden, Alicent included. She indulges herself with appetite of a spoiled child, the confidence of man, and the pickings befitting only to her royal blood. Criston Cole. Daemon Targaryen. Harwin Strong. Laena Velaryon. She’s full of love, isn’t she? That selfish, foolish girl. What does Rhaenyra Targaryen know of love, of duty? She is a child in so many ways—she thinks killing makes her a man, thinks the throne is hers despite being a woman, thinks she can have her knight and her uncle and her protector and Laena Velaryon in one fail swoop. She’s wrong. She doesn’t know herself half as well as Alicent does. Alicent, who sees her for what she truly is, who wants to see all of her and more of her and none of her. Alicent has been stolen into the Keep by her own father—both of their fathers—but Rhaenyra is the key to this place, is the window to everything barred. Rhaenyra Targaryen has a dragon. Rhaenyra can fly.

That’s what Rhaenyra had promised her once, with her lips pulled back in a grin, exposing the white of her teeth like the violently radiant creature she was. “Perhaps when you grow tired of plotting against me, we shall ride on dragonback together,” she had said. The tease.

Alicent had yanked her into an empty corridor by the silk of her sleeve, ready to chastise her for her ill behavior. Conversing with the lords and ladies of the court at a feast was one thing, but chattering about her bloody encounters in battle over the pudding tureen were another. The lord at her elbow was going green. Alicent’s own face was likely red; her heart raced whenever Rhaenyra got like this. Alicent had never seen the battlefield—only seen battered men in dented armor and the slumps of corpses lined along dirt roads in the aftermath of war—but her own imagination terrified her like nothing else.

(Rhaenyra is better with a sword than half of the knights in Westeros, and more lovely than the lot. Her reign has not yet begun, but already the commoners flock to her—lured in by tales of her beauty and fine hair—and soldiers would follow her into battle. Alicent would not follow, but she would watch and bite her nails down to the quick.

She thinks of the figure Rhaenyra cuts in full armor, the heat in her gaze underneath the slots of her helmet. Alicent remembers the weight of her own hand in Rhaenyra’s—which was gloved—when the princess rode up to the spectators box and grasped it in her own, bringing Alicent’s knuckles to her lips. She thinks of Rhaenyra murdered in the sky, skewered with another man’s sword, plummeting to the ground, torn in half, streaking crimson across the clouds. Alicent would scream, or cry. She might laugh. She would throw herself from the window of her tower. Rhaenyra’s bloody exploits terrified Alicent for reasons she could not identify, and excited her for reasons she refused to.)

“I’d sooner be confined to the castle for the rest of my days than get on the back of that bloody lizard,” Alicent scoffed. Rhaenyra only tucked her hand over Alicent’s, where it was resting on her forearm. She flexed her fingers, moving to release her grip on the dark fabric, but Rhaenyra intertwined their fingers and held them fast.

“You’re confined already. You are already accustomed to such a thing. I know you. But—”

“But you forget yourself. You think you’re invulnerable, Rhaenyra. You don’t know who you are.” Alicent intends for it to be a sneer, but instead it comes out quietly, and too gentle for disdain. She can’t know. Rhaenyra is as trapped as she is, but they’re trapped together. They belong together. She belongs with Alicent.

“I am Rhaenyra Targaryen, Heir to the Iron Throne and all of Westeros. I am a dragonrider. I am—I am your daughter. In a way. Your sister, too. Your enemy. Your sword, your shield.”

“And what am I?” What else is left for me? Alicent wonders.

“My Queen. For now.” Rhaenyra cocks her head, and the gleam in her eyes burns like fire raining down. “When I am Queen, you will be my lady.”

#rhaenicent #rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #house of the dragon #hotd #rhaenyra x alicent #my art #a book show fusion where alicent is the wicked resentful older stepmother first and foremost but even so she and rhaenyra have a connection #burdened by envy and fixation and reluctant affection. in this universe rhaenyra is given more liberties and trains as a knight would #is given a sword and flies into battle frequently and wears extravagant clothes which endears her to the small folk and makes her a hot #topic amongst royalty for her strangeness and charisma. alicent is expression not only of her freedom and expression #but of the company she keeps. rhaenyra has so many lovers and so many who are willing to follow her and it’s just not fair ok. alicent #and rhaenyra understand each other and know each others misery like no other. those other flings and beloved friends are going to get #her killed w how much they indulge her and encourage her dangerous habits and alicent may be in a cage but she won’t live in it alone. with #out her stepdaughter to torment and be tormented by (she represses the urges rhaenyra inspires bc she is devout to the faith) then there is #no meaning to suffering. god she’s in love w her. she hates her so much she wants to be her she wants to be with her she needs to touch her #she need rhaenyra to stop looking at other people bc it’s killing alicent by the day

[suntails]

I’m going to paint you a picture of modern communication, and how it is fundamentally broken.

Let’s look at one friend. You chat pretty much everyday, and mostly talk to this person on twitter and discord, with occasional tumblr DMs. That’s three places you talk. But that’s actually not true, because you also have each other’s priv twitters and talk there as well. That’s four. Now account for, let’s say, one post reply per account per person, in addition to your DMs. That’s eight. But that’s ALSO not true, because not only do you talk in discord DMs with each other, but you’re in a friend group server as well! And you talk in those channels together! That’s nine.

This is one friend.

Now look around you. How many friends, how many mutuals are you in contact with. A few, a handful, a dozen, more? How many accounts per person do you have, how many places can you send each other posts, devolve into separate topics and conversations? How many people text you as well. Friends, family, coworkers? What do you do day to day around catching up, what IRL commitments will rip you away long enough to let the pile build again?

I can’t do it. I cannot live an actual life in the real world and balance this much interaction, it’s crushing. I reply to a friend’s post because I’m interested in the subject, I want to have a discussion! I WANT to talk about it with them, but I immediately kick myself for adding another conversation to the pile. Day by day, I ignore messages for hours on end and watch mountains pile around me, to reply en masse at the end of the night to let the cycle repeat. I wake up to six discord DMs and as I clear the third, the first replies back again.

We weren’t meant to have thirty simultaneous conversations. We weren’t. And you know in your bones that the number isn’t an exaggeration.

#hush catríona #this is essentially copy pasted from my twt last week but made a touch more coherent #iiiii spiral about this pretty regularly. i think this is the 4th or 5th time ive gone on this spiel bc its agonizing #i feel horrific guilt for ignoring messages for so long. and its absolutely voluntary. but i cant FUNCTION like this i cant DO it #i have friends where we talk Every Single Day and i LOVE them so much. so unfathomably much. but it KILLS me #hell take my roomie for example. one of my fav ppl in the world. we text- twit dm- discord dm- ig dm- reply to posts. thats five right? #i guess!!! but we also LIVE TOGETHER. i see them in real life and talk to them out loud with my voice and its still this much to add on!!!! #and i feel like nobody else talks abt this shit and it makes me feel crazy. am i the only person completely debilitated by this??? #i dont want this to come across as like ‘boohoo we get it ur sooo popular’ that is NOT what this post means #i think a lot of ppl big acct or small. fandom or otherwise. talk to a dozen ppl online. and i dont get how anyone copes #this is agony. and every single time i ever make a post? its another opportunity to add to the pile #i only reply to comments on posts on twt and this is why. i cant DO it i cant keep up. i see every tag and im so grateful but i cant ever #reach out. i cant add to the pile. theyre already taller than me

[m00ngbin]

TFS TUESDAY! BUT ACTUALLY TUESDAY THIS TIME!

#last chapter was a lot #IN A GOOD WAY #a lot in a good way #it kills me how if they would just TALK TO EACH OTHER this whole thing could have been completely avoided #but thats not how people work. especially not kids and also toichiro is gonna do everything in his stupid power to keep them from being #friends again #i know im cutting it close its almost wednesday #BUT THE KEY WORD IS ALMOST #ITS NOT WEDNESDAY YET #where i am its not #SO CLOSE but not quite #fun fact that alien stuffed animal is something i won from a claw machine second try and when i got it i kid you not i fell to my knees #because i was so shocked #i shouldnt have touched the floor though it was probably gross #i just noticed tome's hair in that picture is longer on one side than the other and its going to bug me forever #typing all of this is keeping me from reading it so i'm going to shut up for a minute and get to the new chapter

[i-like-media]

He's so :D

#What I love about Jamie is that his love language is physical touch #he has to touch things to see how real they are and he holds those he loves closely #he's so happy to see the doctor is ok and not salamander that he can't help but touch him and keep him within reach #because as loving as jamie is he's also so protective over those he loves. and being far away from his friends makes him feel powerless #he can't physically fight off anything out to hurt them if he's not directly within arms lenght #doctor who #classic who #classic doctor who #the doctor #second doctor #2nd doctor #jamie mccrimmon #victoria waterfield #the second doctor #doctor who classic #doctor who gif

[mettywiththenotes]

We don’t talk enough about Dabi putting his arm around Hawks when they meet in the liberation army

#look at them both #just two idiots stood next to each other #and its not successfully tricking anyone #you're both stood there hoping the other will be tricked #but you don't trust each other at all #it makes me laugh how oblivious they are to how the other really feels #how far would they have taken it just to trick each other? #i imagine they'd keep being friendly until one of them cracks #honestly the amount of shenanigans they could have had #pretending to be each other's friend #endless #bnha #bnha manga #dabi todoroki #hawks #mettys posts #okay but WHY is this the only time we ever see dabi so physically close and touching another person like this? #its interesting #smthg smthg dabi only touches people/allows touch when he has an agenda

[talentforlying]

idk if john will ever realize just how many times his big sister has had to mourn him because his idiot ass showed up on her doorstep to say a "final goodbye" and then just dropped off the grid for months afterwards. figure out the cell phone thing, man.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #i think every day about the dangerous habits arc and the way he said bye to cheryl & left chas a note & then just. didn't die #and then didn't go back and call ANYONE to check in bc he got distracted catching up & getting back together with kit #he loves cheryl with all his life but he is NOT good at staying in contact #and like 60% of the time he handwaves it as 'i would have put her in danger' when that is simply not always the case #he's just truly awful at keeping in touch with people #the pitfalls of only living day to day instead of making long-term plans #this is true for most people he knows btw there's a good chance that if you're his friend you won't see him for Months on end #and then he'll just swan in out of nowhere aiming to pick up where he left off. that's not how that works buddy #tbh the best way to figure out if he's alive or not is through rumors and with his reputation? that's not a great source of info #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE. #sched.

[beaulesbian]

They may call it a Summer palace, but it’s actually three different structures joined together. The cathedral is at the top. No way in there except from the palace itself. Below that, the whole place is a maze of secret passages, easy to get lost in. And it’s all built atop a sealed temple to the Old Gods.

#i just want to know more about the connection of this circulum and the summer palace #because it was 'crafted there' and by 'amelia pavus' !!! #the palace is built on top of a temple of old gods - dragons #and they kept a dragon frozen there until the last resort trap wakes him to kill everyone in the palace!! #it began with dragons and ends with them #dragon age #dragonageedit #dragon age absolution #daedit #dragon age absolution spoilers #rezaren ammosine #rezaren dragon age #tassia dragon age #and then how did the divine come to the circulum? did he got it from the pavus family? 'it was lost in politics and history' #and then someone who 'seeks it'!! which is also cassandra the seeker (possibly to keep it safe from wrong hands) #i just hope either s2 or da4 will touch upon this bc it seems even more connected to dragons finally and if now they let this dragon go- #i have this small hope that in da4 the dragons could become more.. friends with whoever will be the main character then #its called dragon age ffs.. let me befriend them OTL #im sure theres gonna be some connection between this artifact (or what comes after this story) the dragons as first gods and solas and elves #mine #gif:da #daa spoilers

[nc-vb]

if it’s gotten to the fucking point that the Ministry of Education has to announce that “the school year is cancelled” for part of Gaza because all its students have been murdered, humanity has failed, failed at everything— flat out, point blank, and unequivocally failed.

#I will not pretend that I’ve known the extent of the situation up until now #I feel I’ve been out of touch with true reality and have only now been catching up #and my heart and mind will never fully be able to comprehend why and how and WHY this is happening #but GOD these children #I once worked with Syrian youth who had come to Canada with their families #to hear their pain and listen to their cries— I still don’t sleep well at night. I hear them all the time. #now children are writing their names on their bodies so they can be IDENTIFIED. #humanity has failed; this is NOT humanity. #it’s just so insane and unbelievable and just simply UNFATHOMABLE that this is going on #LET ALONE FOR OVER 17 YEARS. #to hear my friends and coworkers cry over their lost friends and family members #to have to hold them for THIS REASON. #I have never been a praying person in my life but I am believing in any and every god for the people of Palestine. #I will not believe that choosing to pray does nothing. #because while those beautiful people keep praying I will keep praying. #and it’s not even corny to say that I’m praying for that bright break in the clouds #for the sun to shine upon them SOON AND QUICKLY. #for my friends and my coworkers and my neighbours who grieve and mourn but still pray for an end. #hugging and kissing and holding everyone very tightly from where I am. because I can do little else than I already am. #palestine #free palestine #free gaza #✦ nc vb. #cw murder

[important-question-anon]

Me getting impulsive thoughts to delete my account but I have 14 people that I don't want to scam out of a design so I must push through

#anon-sense #exhaustion hits like a bitch #im not destined to be a popular creator #not with my low social battery and horrible communication skills #the fantasy is nice #but the reality of it is just...daunting. exhausting. #don't get me wrong #i love that i can make people happy and that people actually like me #but i feel so tired...all the time nowadays #i can barely talk to my close friends because if how socially burnt out i am #i hate being like this #i feel like a horrible person because I can barely keep in touch #ew okay sorry for the vent back to our regularly scheduled programming

[gideonisms]

See I think if I'd been born a guy I wouldn't be this pathologically avoidant trying to plan my career because there are plenty of situations you can find as a cis man where you just Do Tasks in awkward silence and you can get to those as a woman but you have to go through the rings of hell socializing first and then besides, a lot of those jobs already have so many men that you stand out when the whole point was you Don't want to do that

#you gotta be god's strongest soldier to survive this shit and i am not! i am god's weakest most pathetic soldier! #i survived five years of customer service crying weekly and getting harassed and being a baby about it #when i got promoted no one would listen to me and it made me constantly anxious and then so tired it took me a year to be able to #think about having a job as something remotely positive and stop crying about it #idk how other women are doing this shit a guy treats me like his sexy servant and i feel BAD and upset for years #and think of what he said 7 years later and they only touched me on the shoulder and made comments other people go through worse! #but i am not strong or determined i just want to go through my life in peace and stop talking to people altogether #it wasn't just guys who treated me badly older women made fun of me and called me lazy and stupid #tutoring was fine but i felt like i was putting on that same performance and at that point it all felt so awful i just. didn't want to #i can see no way out of talking to people for the rest of my life and it gets me down sometimes #i know i get to come home but even then i will probably need people to live with #i basically only like my family and close friends talking to me sometimes even that is hard #sometimes it's way easier to type and feels less awful #i think i have to just keep on keeping on until i can finally get good enough to freelance edit and code that's the only thing i can think #of doing that doesn't make me cry #emails are fine they suck but i don't have to control my face and tone so.

[lecliss]

The choice from Sunday is kinda weird cuz the options are build a cage in the house for the bird or build a nest where it fell and one leads to the bird growing up but dying once its set free and the other one probably leads to it dying much sooner. They both feel like the same option and even tho obviously the most kind, caring, morally right thing to do is keep it inside so at least it lives longer even if it's in a cage. But like to me both options suck and are basically nothing cuz I'm sorry if I look like a bad person for this, but I'm not sorry, but I'm not fuckin touching a wild animal. Even if I knew it was there even if I bothered to check out the sound to find a bird, which I wouldn't, I'm not touching it. I'm not even getting close enough to find out it's too young to fly yet. Whatever happens to it happens man and I'll never know what happens to it cuz I'm not even gonna look at it. Like, where's the 'you seem like an asshole but really it's quite a normal choice' in this whole trial thing??? That's usually an option you can pick. Sunday!!! Sunday, listen!!! There are more than two choices!!! You don't have to always do something!!!! You can just walk away!!! You don't have to try to do something for everyone all the time!!! Think about yourself sometimes!!! It's not selfish I promise!!! SUNDAY!!! OH MY GOD HIS WINGS ARE COVERING HIS EARS HE CANT HEAR US!!!!

#i genuinely dont wanna pick anything #like okay. i know they dont have animal control or a shelter in this setting. but irl genuinely just call some people and see if theyll take #it if you wanna do something about it. #you are not getting my ass to touch a wild animal of any kind. i dont care what the situation is #i was asked once if i could help take care of some baby mice a friend accidentally ruined the nest of and a shelter wouldnt take them #and i was like. im sorry but no cuz i know for a fact im not equipped to handle something like that and i dont wanna touch wild mice and #i KNOW at least some of them will die and i wanna now have to deal with dead mice. and you know what happened? #the friend couldnt keep up with how often they needed to be fed and they died. and now you have dead mice. #something could have happened where they survived outside like the mom came back and fixed it maybe or at least one fended for itself #like its a shame the nest accidentally got ruined but it was an accident and things like that happen all the time #yes its an accident you caused but in the case of something like that i really dont think its suddenly your responsibility now #and i know itll make you feel better to try to make up for it but now you have dead mice #and i know for some people at least trying to help makes them feel better but now we're at the point where i just dont understand #i just cant comprehend the feeling or the idea or the thought. #so its like. i get sunday feels like he HAS to do something for everyone all the time but its genuinely turning him into a monster and he #cant see that. like trying all the time despite getting nothing done will tear you apart. let yourself rest #do the small things you can do around you. dont put the weight of everything on you all the time otherwise you wont get anything done #and youll start thinking not doing anything isnt even an option anymore #i promise its okay. take a break. #im not even referring to sunday anymore. you 🫵 its okay. take a break. make yourself feel better #then come back to things with a clearer calmer mind and do the small things you know you can do #dont force yourself to do everything because you feel like you have to. itll be okay. i promise #hsr 2.2 spoilers #hsr spoilers #oh right this is a spoiler post ifnfjfnfk #long post

[allegoryofthebeast]

I think I love zelink so much bc read either romantic or platonic the vow of love and loyalty between them is so strong their relationship is so fulfilling regardless of anything canon we KNOW they mean something indescribable to each other and they like to be together WANT to be together and help people whenever they’re able they were HURT and they’re doing everything they can to heal

#especially seeing everyone be helped by Zelda #and I’m like what!!! how has she touched this many people!!! without realizing playing as link we’re doing the EXACT same thing #that’s even how the yiga describe Link as like a relentless good-do’er link and Zelda as a unit are known for being approachable #and HELPFUL. they’ve been through so much and genuinely have a lot of wisdom from shared experience and they pass it on #I literally can’t get over Zelda teaching history. HER history her life her friends who gave their lives what she had to give up #can’t keep talking about what else she had to give up or else I’ll go insane #tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers #just to be safe #zelink

[altruistic-meme]

i think im going to need a moment of not opening messages right now. im going to read stormbringer instead.

#sigh #my friend keeps sending me video after video about how her floors are covered in fur bc if my dog #(who is staying with her for now) #but like. yes. i understand. i get it. #my dog has incredibly thick fur and is shedding her fucking winter coat. i dont know what the fuck you want me to do??????? #i get it?? so sorry?? ill come vacuum your house like ????? #i get it that its annoying having her fur all over bc she has black fur in your light beige carpet #what i DON'T get is WHY YOU KEEP SENDING ME VIDEOS OR PHOTOS. MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. #WHY. JUST WHY. #IM SORRY LITERALLY I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT SHES A DOG SHE SHEDS LIKE. #shes going to my other sisters house soon and then she wont be shedding all over your floor and you KNOW THAT #so WHY. #im just. tired #i wanted to say 'i cant do this anymore' but that is unfortunately the doorway in which the suicidal thoughts will squirm through. #so. instead i will set my phone to the side and read my book. #it is much thicker than i expected it to be. #i cant turn my phone off bc my mom is going to be sending messages later that i need to look at but #im just going to try not to open any messages anyway and not touch my phone or anything #shh ac