#hot npcs are great okay

[heybiji]

hi!!! i just wanted to say i really love all of your MASKS stuff. i'm something of a newbie when it comes to the TTRPG community, but MASKS seems to be not very well-known and i think that's a real shame. i'm a huge fan of old-school superhero-adjacent stuff, especially the silver- and bronze-age ones!

by the way, i was wondering if you'd be willing to share some tips for a first-time GM? you don't have to if you'd rather not! i just figured i'd try asking since i was planning on GMing a MASKS campaign for some of my friends later, but despite my decade's worth of roleplaying experience i've never been in a TTRPG campaign nor a GM (or similar) role before

Thank you so much!! I was just lamenting about how I felt bad for the MASKS tag because it is now flooded with all my npc nonsense hahah so this is really nice to hear.

It's awesome you're planning on running a MASKS game for your friends!! There is an indispensable post on twitter I saw that has a LOT of great tips for running MASKS that I recommend checking out. But for my own personal tips that are just me things, here's what I got. Sorry it's gonna be extremely long-winded, it may take a few months to read through it.

(Note: I am also hugely into RP and probably put more into it than what is necessary, especially with MASKS which is meant to be able to be played out of the box. It was definitely not played out of the box in our case because I require a lot out of myself and everyone else to feel good about running something. if anyone else wants to continue seeing me as a normal human being please don't click the Keep Reading)

Since you're running it, make the world interesting to you. If the world runs around themes you're personally interested in then you'll have a much easier time coming up with answers on the fly. For me, themes I'm interested in that lend themselves well to a superhero world: money, power, family, celebrity, media, the 24 hour news cycle and the desensitization of violence. Because I'm interested in this stuff anyway, wrapping a world around them makes it much simpler for me to figure out how the world ticks and thus how the characters fit into it and how the world reacts to them, and I am DESPERATE to find out how the characters react to all the questions and expectations the world is imposing upon them.

Make sure your players have a good grasp of the tone of story so they can make characters that gel well within it. For me the tone is a lil more adult because I'm not personally into younger morality tale stories in tone, it's pretty grounded, and I think comedy and tragedy work hand in hand so I lean into them.

Talk. A lot. Talk about the characters, talk about the world. MASKS is fun because it's a LOT of talking and figuring out the narrative together. It's not a lot of crunchy mechanics, it's all around seeing how the characters react to the world narratively, all hurt and comfort and emotions which (for me) requires people to have a good grasp on their characters and the world. I like to give my players "homework" where I ask them a question involving their characters in some way like "what hero did your character look up to as a child?" so they get to come up with past heroes, or "How does your character feel about _____?" etc etc. The only fans are gonna be your table and fans love to talk so be the biggest fans of the PCs!!

Figure out your framing. I know in MASKS they suggest framing it like a comic book, and basically talking about the frames on screen. For me, because I'm more into movies and tv than comics, I frame it like that. So I have an active "camera" in play during sessions and will ask things like "would anyone like to grab the camera?" to encourage the players to put the character into a scene or "what does the audience see as the camera focuses in on your character in this emotional moment?" There is a LOT of playing up to the camera and framing the sessions as episodes of a show, so it's like, okay, you have several options but what is going to be interesting for the audience to see? I find this encourages the players to have their characters take bigger swings and feel comfortable letting us into how their character is feeling because it all looks GREAT on camera. The camera loves it. The PCs are the story after all.

Because I frame it a show, I also like to play individual ending songs over the "credits" at the end of each episode. So I asked my players to make playlists for their characters so if I feel an episode had a lot of emotional focus on one character in particular, I can play one of their songs at the end of the episode! I also made a general MASKS playlist with a bunch of songs from the era we set it in (2004) to pull from. It's a fun little addition that I really enjoy and that I hope makes it all feel more special.

The Dino Donut Effect: create landmarks in your world. (OK THIS IS GONNA BE LONG BUT WORK WITH ME HERE) They don't have to be locations, more solid landmarks of the story that the characters can refer back to and lean on to make the world feel more "real." I call it the Dino Donut Effect because in our world the thing that made everything click into place was talking out the backstory of one of the PC's figuring out they had the power negation ability. We were talking one night trying to figure it out; we wanted the character to fall out of a building and be caught by a flying superhero and accidentally turn off their powers, so they toss the kid to another flying supe whose powers also get turned off. But we were like... holy shit what is the height of a building needed that can handle this much action in the air without them hitting the ground in 3 seconds. So after a long night of talking about terminal velocity and looking at Splat Calculators we figured out the height of the building, and we needed them to crash into something that wouldn't fuckin kill them. The first suggestion was a truck full of bananas. Nah. We landed on a giant balloon that could take the impact. And the balloon became a giant T-Rex holding a donut that was the mascot of the city's beloved decades old donut shop Dino Donut. And so we decided that one of the two flying supes grabbed onto the kid and the other and flew into the giant balloon to try and keep them all alive, which destroyed the balloon, which was a city institution, and there was a crowd of children there that day that saw their friend Dino Donut die. Killed by a superhero. The balloon deflated loudly so it sounded like Dino Donut was screaming in agony. All the kids were traumatized (screaming crying throwing up), the city was furious because everyone loved Dino Donut, it was constantly in the news cycle, and it ruined the career of the supe that "killed Dino Donut." AND THEN THEY REPLACED THE DINO DONUT BALLOON WITH A LAME "UPDATED DESIGN" DINO DONUT STATUE which everyone hates and people consider to be a memorial to the old Dino Donut. ANYWAY, the Dino Donut effect is that now all the PCs have one single incident to refer back to that they all have feelings about. A couple of them were there that day and heard Dino Donut scream, one is now the protege of the disgraced superhero that killed Dino Donut so she feels uncomfortable talking about it, there's the kid that was saved that day but was sworn to secrecy by the supe so no one would find out about his power negation ability, and then there's the kid that wasn't there because she's an alien that just arrived to earth and now the kids have to explain the incident to her with all their varying opinions. Now the PCs' meeting spot is at a Dino Donut. Having this one solid incident that is both funny and kind of goes into the themes of the world has been an absolute treat. Creating "landmarks" like that in the world has done so much and now I'm like okay I'm gonna try to do this moving forward with any other thing I run.

anyway these are my extremely specific to me tips. my RP standards are kind of high which makes me a bit of a terror but also when the flowers bloom from it it feels GREAT. i'm not sure if this will help but hopefully there is something there that can be useful!

MASKS is fun and simple once you get the hang of it, though, so I'm sure whatever you do you and your players will have a lot of fun! especially if you're someone who is into RP which is the background I'm coming from too; MASKS is extremely narrative! i'll be looking in the tag for your game hehe

(The Day Dino Donut Died art by JD)

#masks: a new generation #ttrpg #text post #biji text #i am so sorry this is incredibly long but i just really really really like RP SLKDGM #also another tip: make the npcs hot #hot npcs are great okay #this is the advice from someone who has run checks notes 2 episodes of MASKS #2 episodes but like 7 sessions in total because what it is time management #i've also known my players for a many years and we met in an RP group so i felt more comfortable being this level of intense with them #otherwise i would have tried to be a lil more laid back and normal........... #but also as the GM you're going to be doing a LOT of work so it's fair to ask your players to do some work too to help lighten the load! #have fun!!!! MASKS is a lot of fun!!!

[impishjesters]

hii can you please do jax x shapeshifter reader hcs/short story (your choice)... like they dont have a "normal" form nn can turn into anything they wanted to i think thatd be cool /nf

warning(s): Jax, mentioned using someone's fear as a prank note(s): I wasn't sure how to list the prank, it's probably considered particularly cruel given it's using Ragatha's fear of centipedes as entertainment A/N: I think having the ability to shape-shift and be friends with Jax is such a violently chaotic blend, and honestly I'm here for it. Gotta get your fun somehow.

To be honest, Jax questions whether you’re actually a human or not at first

It wouldn’t be the first time Caine decided to throw something new at them, though usually it’s a game or activity and not another…person?

Like obviously you don’t look like the wooden doll NPCs, but you can just uh, change what you wanna look like?

He’s entirely convinced you’re just some fancier NPC for a hot minute before you start to react in a very non-NPC way

Those wooden dolls don’t particularly do much, and they sure as hell can’t speak

The first thing Jax tries to do is rope you into his messing around with the others—just think of it, you can turn into whatever you want which means even more hilarious possibilities for pranking the others!

Now if you aren’t like Jax and deny helping him, he’ll still find ways to use your shape-shifting abilities to his enjoyment.

Even if it doesn’t result in a prank, it’d still be hilarious to see you shift into something that ends up scaring someone else or just overall causing chaos to whatever awful domino effect might happen (I mean look at the Kaufmo situation, shit went downhill real fast unintentionally)

He’s not going to be aggressive or forceful but he’ll still throw out that the two of you would make a great team in entertainment

And if you like causing hell then this baby is just like a kid on Christmas, as mentioned above he’ll use your ability to shape-shift into things that’ll entertain him—and well by proxy you

Like the time you guys fucked with Kinger

He had you shape-shift to look like himself and engage in a convo with Kinger, and when the convo ended he came over and started up a conversation, acting as if he hadn’t seen the old coot in a hot minute. Kinger was very very lost—Ragatha didn’t find it that funny

Nor did she find it funny the time you turned into a large centipede-like creature and scared the ever-loving shit out of her

Okay maybe you felt a tad bad, and sure it definitely had her loathing you for a bit—but she’s definitely grown more on guard with you around

Overall Jax finds it kind of interesting that unlike them, you are able to sort of pick and choose what you wanna look like. The two of you no doubt spent hours just watching you cycle through and test just what kind of stuff you could change into.

Caine still isn’t sure how that happened to be completely honest, you’re an enigma to him and he doesn’t like that

Jax won’t say it but he’s only a little weirded out when you’ve made yourself look like him, he knows what he looks like—there are reflective surfaces, but it’s just…weird

#jax #jax x reader #tadc #tadc jax #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital circus x reader

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF

So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)

Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..

Which we can all agree is boring...

BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!

We be getting creative with it

Eg.

"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"

"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"

(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)

AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL

English could never compare ✨

BUT ANYWAYS

how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?

The eay their face would drop

We would make a couple of people cry

AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US

Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*

Your thoughts?

Love yaaaa~

ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!

Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??

I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-

like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.

I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see

Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️

GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE

and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,

😭 BRO IM CRYING

“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-

(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)

idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,

OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-

OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???

everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,

or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot

or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao

STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)

AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:

“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO😭)

JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG

STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol

oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭

Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀

“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND

Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”

which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG

☆

i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth

which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]

which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi

#srry i take so long to answer smth so simple #i actually have a surprising amount of asks! #i was thinkin abt it the other day like #damn should i reopen mail box #then i was like #not really bc i still got a lot of stuff to answer! #so now ITS CRAZZYYY to see my first posts/asks and see me trying to get ppl to send asks! #anyway i gotta make a 1000 followers thing bc i love u guys #sagau #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau x reader #genshin imagines #genshin isekai #gender neutral reader #self aware genshin #genshin impact au #genshin x reader

[dodger-chan]

Look we all have to write the steddie flirting through DnD scene don't we?

Consider this a Christmas gift if you celebrate and something to do while everything's closed if you don't.

“How touchable are my boobs in this?”

“I think I’m falling in love with Eddie.” Steve replied. He had not meant to say that. He’d been helping Robin pick out clothes for her date with Vickie that night, and the thought had just hit him. Steve tried again. “Your boobs look great. Vickie will definitely want to slip her hands under that shirt.”

“Perfect.” Robin threw herself down on her bed next to Steve. “Let's go back a few seconds. Why do you think you’re falling for Eddie?”

“I stole one of Dustin’s old DnD manuals and I’ve been looking through it to figure out how their nerd game works. I bought my own copy of Sacred Heart. And I'm trying to read The Hobbit for the third time.”

He was forty-eight pages in, the farthest he’d made it yet. He might make it through the whole book this time, now that he’d decided he could skip the songs. 

“Oh, it’s like when you studied for the SATs with Nancy!”

“Even though I’d already taken the exam. Exactly.” Steve sighed. “It’s been going on for weeks. How did I not notice until now?”

“Because you’ve spent most of your life purposefully ignoring it when you liked a guy.” Robin ruffled his hair. “Hey, at least finding him hot isn’t news, right?”

“Yay for small victories, I guess.” Steve fixed the mess Robin had made. “But what do I do about it?”

----------

A part of Steve had wanted to show up in his rattiest t-shirt and jeans, to do his best to blend in with the rest of the club. But it wasn’t like the other guys didn’t know who he was. And Steve wanted to find out if Eddie might like him, not some nerd that looked like him. So Steve wore a polo shirt and his best jeans. The only way he could have looked less like he belonged was if he’d pulled his letterman out from the back of his closet.

“Are you playing with us Harrington?” Eddie asked when Steve sat down at the table.

“Um, is that okay? Bobbie had a thing come up and she asked me to sub in for her.” Robin’s thing had been a second date with Vickie. At his house, so the girls could kiss without worrying about getting caught. Steve needing to spend four hours in the Wheeler basement gave them plenty of alone time, too. “I might need some help with the math, but Robs gave me a character sheet and some basic instructions.”

Eddie and his friends exchanged looks. Steve really hoped they weren’t going to tell him to get lost.

“Steve? You’re playing?” Dustin practically threw himself down the stairs when he saw Steve. “How did we finally convince you? Was it Robin? Where is she?”

“Robin’s busy. I’m her sub. If Munson’s cool with it?”

Faced with Dustin’s pleading eyes, Eddie didn’t stand a chance.

----------

Steve mostly kept quiet at first, observing how Eddie ran the game, what strategies the kids preferred to use. Mostly he let them make the decisions and when they were in combat he hit the biggest enemy with his morningstar until it stopped moving.

It felt kind of familiar, but way less painful.

After a little while, Steve thought he had the hang of it enough to try Robin’s plan.

“Wait a second,” he stopped Mike before they attacked the mysterious cloaked figure. “Isn’t everybody’s health kind of low?”

“We don’t have time to rest and heal, Steve.” Mike was being weirdly patient with him. “The enemy has already seen us.”

“Yeah, but I could try charming him instead of fighting. Robin said her character was supposed to be charming.” She’d had this long explanation about charisma that Steve hadn’t followed but she’d summed it up as flirt with the NPCs. “If I flirt with him, maybe he’ll let us by without a fight.”

“He’s a guy, Steve,” Dustin pointed out. “Robin’s character is also a guy.”

“Gay people exist.” One of the older Hellfire members, Steve thought his name was Gareth, spoke up. He hadn’t expected any of Eddie’s friends to help him out with this. The three of them had their eyes on Eddie.

Eddie wasn’t saying anything.

“He’s seduced at least one girl in every town we’ve passed through,” Lucas explained. “Usually two or three.”

“It’s kind of a running joke,” Will added.

“He could like both.” Steve said it with a casualness he did not feel. “Some people do.”

“Buckley’s not going to be upset you made her character a little gay?” Eddie asked him.

“Nah, she won’t mind.”

“Then roll for seduction.”

Right as he rolled, another of Eddie’s friends - Steve had missed his name during introductions - bumped into the table. The dice fell onto the floor and one rolled under the sofa.

This was apparently a catastrophe.

“We won’t be able to get the die without moving it! We’ll never know what you rolled!” Dustin whined.

“Couldn’t I just roll it again?” This was, for some reason, the worst question he could have asked, as it sparked a lecture on the sacred and inviolable nature of the dice rolls.

“Have him role play it,” Jeff suggested. Eddie shot his friend a dirty look.

Steve briefly wondered if Robin had been talking with the older members of Hellfire, but that didn’t seem likely. They wouldn’t have any reason to help him out. 

“I don’t mind.”

“If that’s what you want.” Eddie shrugged. “Show us you can be as charming as your character.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m exactly as charming as Sir Dingus des Cheveux.” Steve wasn’t sure if he should be flattered or disturbed by how much Robin’s character was based on him. Though it certainly made playing him easier. “Tell me what I see.”

“I already did. Cloaked figure, no obvious weapon.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’d notice if I was looking for a fight. Can I see his hair? His face? His eyes?”

“Um, his hood is up, so no.” Right. Eddie was going to make this difficult.

“Okay so I step forward and I stand, uh, shit. It’s hard to describe.” Steve could be just as difficult. “Can we act it out?”

“Act it out?”

“I mean the NPCs are all you, right? So if you could stand in for this guy?” A lot of flirting was physical and, for Steve, automatic. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing until he was doing it. 

“Do it, Eddie.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve always wanted to see The Hair at work.”

Eddie’s friends egged him on. Lucas nodded along with them. Dustin had grabbed a blank sheet of paper and seemed prepared to take notes. Will seemed somewhere between uncomfortable and fascinated. Only Mike looked unhappy about it, but that was just how Mike was. 

Date a guy’s sister for a year and not even saving his life could make him smile at you.

Eddie rose from his seat.

“Okay, Harrington. Charm me.”

Steve stepped forward, until he was almost close enough to touch Eddie.

“Hi,” he said, tilting his head to one side. He smiled a slightly goofy smile that he knew invited teasing. “What’s a nice boy like you doing in a dungeon like this?”

Eddie burst out laughing.

“Seriously? That’s what you’re starting with?”

“Is that you or the character laughing?” Steve asked.

“Both.”

“You have a beautiful laugh.” Steve spoke in character. Eddie stopped laughing, surprised. “I bet your face is just as lovely.”

“He pushes his hood back to reveal the face of a drow. The face is not lovely, but scarred. One particularly nasty scar on his right cheek creates the illusion of a smile. He says, You lose.”

“I don't know about that.” Steve stepped a little closer and lifted his hand. “May I?”

Eddie nodded.

Steve pushed Eddie's hair away from his face, lightly brushing Eddie's scars. Taking care that the back of his thumb caressed the most prominent one, the one that tugged down the corner of Eddie's lip and gave his smile a permanent look of irony.

“You have the most expressive eyes I've ever seen,” Steve murmured. Eddie pulled back.

Shit. That wasn't in character. Steve tried again.

“I think I won, but I wouldn’t want to contradict anyone with such enchanting eyes.” He dropped the smile but kept the teasing tone. “What do I lose?”

“Your life,” Eddie replied, but his heart clearly wasn't in it.

“You don't want to kill me.” Steve’s smile widened. He'd won this round as soon as Eddie had laughed. “If you’re having trouble thinking up a forfeit, can I suggest a kiss?”

“Okay, okay,” Eddie said with another laugh. “You have successfully seduced the drow. He does not attack your party, or summon reinforcements. Your one night stand allows for a long rest. Because the drow is a cleric of Loviatar, you only recover half your health.”

“Worth it.” He winked at Eddie before sitting back down at the table. “Sir Dingus had an excellent time. Is there a fantasy version of asking for a guy’s number? In case I have to sub in for Rob again?”

He didn’t want to saddle Robin’s character with a boyfriend when Robin had been using him to flirt with girls, but he didn’t want to leave Eddie with the impression that Steve moved on from people as quickly as Sir Dingus did.

“The life of an adventurer is hardly conducive to long term relationships.” That did not answer Steve’s question. “But, he tells you his name is Ghauntel Kenduis and should he see you again, he will remember yours.”

--------

Dungeons and Dragons was not the worst way to spend an afternoon. The combat was kind of boring, and the bickering over what the party was going to do next made Steve sympathize with the guys who’d stuffed nerds into lockers. 

Okay, DnD was not his thing at all and the only thing he really enjoyed about it was getting to flirt with Eddie.

Steve slid his hand over the scars on Eddie's neck. Slowly, carefully, he brought their lips together for a kiss.

Well, Eddie’s characters, which wasn’t exactly the same thing. And after that first time, he hadn’t had to do nearly as much roleplaying. But it was still fun.

“You kept breaking character,” Eddie commented when the game was finished for the day. 

“What do you mean?” The kids had, unsurprisingly, vanished upstairs as soon as it was time to clean up. A little more surprising was that the rest of Hellfire had also cleared out, leaving Steve and Eddie alone.

“When you would flirt. You kept losing the characters. You’ve never played before, so flirting with me instead of my NPCs would be an easy mistake to make. Or…” Eddie trailed off. “Nah, you’re just bad at the game.”

“I mean, I am. And breaking character wasn’t something I tried to do on purpose.” Steve stepped close to Eddie again. Close enough to reach out and touch him. “But I kept doing it because I wanted to flirt with you.”

“Why?” Eddie asked. “I'm a freak and kind of an asshole a lot of the time. And I’m not exactly a pretty face these days.”

“Well, it turns out that weird and passionate nerds are kinda my type.” And Steve was sick of dating girls who weren't his type. “May I?”

Wordlessly, Eddie nodded.

Again, Steve pushed Eddie's hair back, tucking it behind his ear. Eddie leaned into Steve's touch.

“You really do have the most expressive eyes. I wish you didn't feel like you have to hide them.” 

#stranger things #steddie #obligatory steve plays dnd fic #my fic

[brothermoth]

Rdr2 and period accuracy I guess

Bonus points to whoever was in charge of historical details in rdr2 because the amount of spot on, God awful hair and beard styles makes me so happy. 1800-1900 were some of the worst years for decent haircuts. Clothes? Great, wonderful. BUT MUTTON CHOPS??? That stupid middle part slicked-back hair for men? Crimes. War crimes.

Look at this shit. You see this??? Some of these fellas have attractive faces but then they ruined it by doing THAT. Civil war era and regency period are my absolute least favorite times for men. How do you let that hair rope stay on your face?? Half of them look like they're wearing toupees or desperately combing the last bits of balding hair (some of them are, to be fair). Half the NPCs in red dead are utterly unfuckable and I love it. It's really cool when media lets people be ugly and grimy. A lot of the people Arthur comes across are poor, working class people who were often a little gross, especially men living on horseback doing a lot of manual labor. The women wear makeup, but they're not overly polished Hollywood esque pantomimes of historical women. They're allowed to be a little nasty too. Karen absolutely has the pussy equivalent of the Chernobyl elephant's foot and I love that for her! Sometimes media overdoes the unclean factor and makes it like...a metaphor in and of itself for low morals (Pirates of the Caribbean I love you but yeah). Your main characters are shiny and clean where villains are dirty and "unclean".

This is not to say poverty=dirt. At the time though, extreme poverty in cities and places with no natural water sources did equal a bit of funk. They just couldn't afford to pay for baths. Those who cared used perfumes, sponge baths when available. They kept their undergarments regularly washed if they could. The thing is, just like today, some people just didn't care. They lived in the woods and said "fuck it" and didn't bother. Rdr2 says "yeah ain't nobody is washing their ass ♥️" and let that apply to our protagonists too! No matter how much you bathe Arthur that man wears boots with no socks and it's so bad even Sean comments on the man's feet. I can't even wear Crocs without socks because that shit is a biohazard. Imagine BOOTS.

I don't know where I was going with this, but the overall gist is that we should strive for accuracy and a fair portrayal of human bodies as things that do in fact produce ick. And that's okay! You can be hot and also have lack of access to modern hygiene. Unless you have mutton chops, I guess.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #History #Historical rant from an anthropology nerd #arthur morgan #Karen Jones #red dead redemption

[genericpuff]

it's legit been a hot minute since i've read an LO episode from start to finish so I decided to read the new free episode

wow i'm really not missing a dang thing am i, jfc

I've talked about it before how the dialogue in these comics really feels... non-human, but now I'm at a point where I wouldn't even be surprised if I find out the comic was being written by one of those script bots or some AI Chat GPT tool. It's just so stupidly clunky with very little context or build-up to what's being said, the characters feel like they're just talking at each other rather than with each other, if you know what I mean. It's giving Shenmue 3.

But let's have some extra fun with this and go through it panel by panel.

I'm not gonna talk about the Apollo scene, not yet at least. But I DO want to talk about the dialogue exchange between Persephone and the demigods she's chosen to be judges.

First off, we get this cut to Persephone saying "Thank you so much for coming today." But the stuff that follows really feels like these guys have no idea where they are or why. Like, the first thing the guy on the left has to say is "you're a woman", why is he making this observation now if they intentionally made the decision to join her? If he's supposedly sexist on that line alone (which is what a lot of people in the discussion circles assume) why would he even join her on the boat in the first place if he wasn't willing to listen to a woman?

Oh, okay, so they HAVE had this conversation already, great exposition, Rachel! But again, it still makes no sense why he's making this observation out of nowhere if he already knows he's going to be working with her and chose to come along with her on the boat ride. Why is he repeating what he's already said? Why not just have this conversation happen organically instead of doing the whole sitcom "cut to the middle of what's happening and explain it matter-of-factly for the audience to catch up so we don't have to actually show the entire conversation???" bit?

It's such a cliche overused tactic to try and skip informing NPC's of what the audience already knows but that only works if we, the audience, know what's going on. Such a tactic is meant to benefit the AUDIENCE, not the characters. It's a pointless waste of time for everyone involved if they're doing it the other way around where the NPC's know but the audience doesn't and the characters have to re-explain everything they already know for the audience. It's clunky exposition.

And then of course, we get Persephone acting all high and mighty with people who, again, don't even seem to know what the fuck is going on, they don't even seem to be functioning at full brain capacity with how repetitive and pointless their dialogue is (especially the "I'm a son of Zeus" guy but we'll get to him later). If Persephone's thankful for them joining her, why is she being such a bitch? This isn't a power move, she's not being a "boss babe", she's being that bitchy manager that complains about high turnover rates completely oblivious or uncaring to the fact that she's the reason people quit the job in the first place.

"It's listening to the Queen of the Underworld time", bitch you have done NOTHING to earn that title or demand for respect. NO ONE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE. Anyone who DOES know her only knows her as a consort of Hades from that one tabloid pic from ten years ago. So... yeah, literally no one knows her. Even if they saw her in that weird broadcast during the Kronos fight (which, why would they, everyone was asleep as we were told and that news chopper was from OLYMPUS), she has done nothing to organically earn the respect and admiration of the people. As far as anyone's concerned, she's just this weird pink thing rolling into town and the only reason she has power at all is because the King has a flower nymph fetish and wanted a replacement for the girl that "got away" and married his brother.

IDK if this was an attempt at a joke but I feel bad for this guy because he clearly has no idea where he is, why he's here, or why he's going to work for the Underworld when he's a son of Zeus and would maybe prefer a job in Olympus somewhere. Look at him, those aren't the eyes of a man who knows what's going on.

"RAWR, I'm edgy and in control, shut your whore mouth while I'm speaking, peasant!"

She doesn't even look intimidating here, she looks severely constipated.

This is also legit just a copy paste of the Hera/Apollo/Echo scene from S2 which just further drives home how Persephone is an emotional replacement for Hera and a physical replacement for Rhea (while also satisfying that aforementioned flower nymph fetish).

Again, Persephone has done nothing to earn the admiration or respect of her people (unlike, y'know, Hera) and it's bullshit that she pretended to be all thankful at the beginning of this only to then treat them like shit as soon as she was able. Like, again, she seems to have just kidnapped these guys and they undoubtedly have questions and instead she's steamrolling all over them for zero reason beyond stroking her ego. If she's so bothered by the first guy being a sexist, why is she hiring him in the first place???

girl he's literally trying to escape from your bullshit, why are you treating him like a toddler or a hamster who can't control himself

it's painfully clear now these guys absolutely did not sign up for ANY of this and even if they DID sign up to be judges for Hades, they clearly were NOT aware it would include being berated and snipped at by his moody toddler of a wife, she's the ONLY one here who has zero self control or qualifications. push her in the river, please. put her in the hamster cage.

so yeah, it's not "thank you for coming with me today", it's "thank you for shutting up and being good little hostages so mommy can play pretend ruler, if you even THINK of ignoring me i'll have my daddy Mads Mikkelson- I mean, Hades chop your balls off, teehee!" seriously can SOMEONE please push her in the river, she's got like 50 pounds of hair, she has zero chance /hj

"i found a way for my husband to do even less work than he already does, like a good little billionaire!"

ms. brian griffin, no one knows what elysium is

we, the audience, haven't even seen elysium

no one knows what you're talking about and no one has anything to thank you for because so far you've spent the majority of your time in the underworld since the time skip dicking around and acting like a Karen

literally sit down and eat your oatmeal

we don't even know what 'nu-tartarus' is, who wants to bet rachel watched sci-fi the week she made this with the 'nu' spelling, jfc

what did she do to warrant the 'nu'

in fact, is tartarus even accessible right now??? what happened to Kronos locking himself up in there and refusing to let anyone in??? Did they seriously dig a hole in the ground and call it "Nu-Tartarus"? Fuck off.

Hermes, pal, you're seeing this shit, right? How can you sit there and watch her act like this??? This ain't the girl you used to make out with in the mountains.

"My husband serves in the military, you know! You'll regret not giving me that 2% discount!"

for those of you in the audience who don't know this, this is what we call panel filler. i.e. pointless repetitive panels that RS uses to fill her panel quota each week. LO always has at least 2-3 of these per episode. Go ahead, fact check it yourself, I'll wait.

Diva Plavalaguna wore it better, honey.

(also why do her ARMS look the same as her hair, they look like sausage casings 😭)

Such a weird cut though, from her making that "lol can you believe the things I put up with ????" face to her just WALKING AWAY FROM THE MEN WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY'RE EVEN HERE.

what- um, why are we cutting to this? I get that it's RS still trying to exposit instead of write organically but Hermes literally didn't ask and he should probably already be aware of what's going on if he's ON THE BOAT WITH HER. Also why are you explaining to him what a demi-god is? Again, it's Rachel trying to do the "and that's my plan" shtick not understanding that only works for OTHER CHARACTERS who aren't "in on it", NOT THE AUDIENCE. When you try to have your characters explain things JUST for the sake of the audience, it makes them all look stupid and it wastes the audience's time.

Like, never mind the fact that Hermes himself is technically a demi-god in LO as his mother is a non-god.

This would have worked better if she was explaining who these men were specifically, like the fact that they were Kings when they were alive, or why she chose them, but no, she just starts it and leaves it at "well they're related to Zeus, so they're demi-gods" with zero lead-up or context as to why she's explaining this to Hermes of all people in the first place.

WAIT OKAY. SO I WAS RIGHT, THEY LITERALLY AREN'T FUNCTIONING AT FULL AUTONOMY. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE REPEATING THINGS OR NOT SAYING THINGS THAT ARE RELEVANT OR ASKING QUESTIONS.

PERSEPHONE LITERALLY TOOK THESE SHADES WHO HAVE NO ABILITY TO CONSENT OR UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON

AND IS FORCING THEM TO WORK FOR HER HUSBAND, THE SLAVE DRIVER.

PERSEPHONE HAS BECOME A SLAVE DRIVER.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING WITH ME TODAY" ????

"THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING GOOD LITTLE SLAVES. YOU WORK FOR ME AND MY HUSBAND NOW. WE'LL GIVE YOU BACK ENOUGH OF YOUR AUTONOMY TO MAKE YOU GOOD FOR WORKING BUT YOU WILL NEVER HAVE FREE WILL."

THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT OF HADESTOWN BUT IT WANTS US TO CHEER FOR HADES' POINT OF VIEW IN THE END.

Also, "Hades is going to restore some of their humanity"??? Guys, do you realize the implications of this?

If this is something he's always been able to do, that means he's always had the ability to grant the shades working for him autonomy and will, but chose not to.

Give them enough sentience and autonomy to work, but not enough to question why they're working for the system in the first place.

Great job Persephone, this is soooo much better than what Hades was doing before. You've made life so much better for the dead.

Fucking hell. I started this essay with the intent of talking about the weird clunky dialogue exchanges and as I sat on it and wrote on it longer and longer it just got so much WORSE and turned into discussing Persephone's lack of morals and how she's become the very thing she always claimed she stood against.

I say "great job Persephone" but we also have to give credit where credit is due - great job Rachel, this is soooo much better than just ending the series in the first two seasons or actually resolving the plot threads you started in Season 1. You've made your comic so much better to please the stans and spite the haters.

Christ. I'm not even done talking about everything I wanted to talk about regarding this episode but I figured I should cut it off here to at least keep it all on theme. I do wanna talk about that Apollo scene and the Hermes/Persephone conversation but I'll probably do that in separate posts.

Despite how fired up I got, I am glad about one thing - I really am not missing anything. I have lost nothing from unsubscribing from LO and uninstalling the WT app. And frankly, neither will you if you've been contemplating on promoting yourself to a non-reader. There is zero FOMO here. I get just as much if not more entertainment from just following along with the hilarious conversations in the Discord and subreddit each week, because at LEAST those are fun and don't make me feel dead inside like LO does. LO isn't entertaining, it's hardly even so-bad-that-it's-entertaining at this point, maybe it still is for you, but I'm assuring you right now for those of you "hanging on", it's not going to magically "get better", even the episodes that some people CLAIM are better really aren't because of how low the bar is nowadays. I am giving you full permission to free yourself of these shackles if you've been looking for a way out. Take this as your metaphorical key.

The LO we all fell in love with is long, long gone.

#and yes i do hope rachel and webtoons reads this #because a lot of people do have the WT app at this point just for LO so people dropping off LO means people dropping off the app #this comic absolutely is affecting your bottom line WT #why is this comic still being carried on WT's shoulders #even when it's not being outright controversial or offensive it's still just a poorly made comic #the dialogue is janky and there's NOTHING GOING ON #it's just further proof that so many romance webtoons aren't built to last 3 seasons #they always lose their steam by then #just put it out of its misery for the love of god #lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #Youtube

[chickenmanbeloved]

Someone sedate me/j

Since it's been so long since I've played SDV I decided to delete all my saves and restart a blank slate.

So I play modded,, like,,, tons of em but nothing prepared me for this,,

TW Depression and S-IcIdal implied

Im about to SPILL EVERYTHING because my HEART HURTS

So if you're interested (It's gonna be long I'm not kidding) read below this :']

The main mods involved is:

Mobile Phone by Aedenthorn, Shane Dinner date by MissMarlot, and NPC Adventures by PurrplingCat (+ SDV Expanded).

For context: So, summer just started, and Joan is still on year one. She's at full hearts with Shane and only has had the heart events 2 and 4 actually play out. And I decide to have her confess with the bouquet.

So she pulls Shane from work and gifts him a pizza, then they go towards the area above the train tracks (meant to take her to the mountain peak before realizing it was blocked) and she confesses there. ADORABLE reaction from Shane,,, and then later on She takes him on a Hot Air Balloon date (BC IM CHEESY). Wonderful day in general right?

So the day comes to a close and she heads to bed, but before she heads to bed i have her check the weather report, Its going to be storming the next day (And if you shane girlies know,,, that'sss not good given my circumstances)

I use the day to prioritize clearing space on the farm since i dont have to manually water the crops (i have a lot, trustme).

Shane calls Joan and says something along the lines of "Yesterday was great,, it actually made me feel okay. Like things were actually okay" "But it's not okay... why do I have to be like this..." and that's ALL HE SAYS.

I feel bad,, but continue to clear up the farm,,,

TELL ME WHY IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO REALIZE IT WAS RAINING???? LIKE,,, RAINING THAT CAN TRIGGER EVENT 6???

I COULDVE IGNORED IT,,, SURE,,, BUT I DIDNT AND I SWEAR I SAT THERE,, FOR TOO LONG BEFORE I REALIZED I DIDNT EVEN PAUSE THE GAME,,, SO JOAN WAS JUST STANDING THERE FUCKING TRAUMATIZED FOR LIKE 6 HOURS IN THE RAIN,,,

BUT ANYWAYS thanks for reading my insane rambling because im hurt,,, have a wonderful day :']

#shane x farmer #shane sdv #sdv shane #stardew farmer #stardew valley #sdv #MY HEART HURTTTSSS #I THOUGHT MODS WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THINGS BETTER?????? #HELP?????

[aghostwithnoname]

Official Fuck Raphael/Hope Appreciation Post

Okay, so this is probably going to upset people but I don't care. I'm real sick of this "Raphael is so hot" BS. Like, firstly, that man is MID at best. Secondly, are we not gonna talk about the fact this man is a certified abuser in every sense of the word? Like, sure he's sweet-talking and clever (most abusers are imo). Newsflash: real monsters are rarely people you find unattractive!!!

What really grinds my gears is that you can stumble on Raphael making a deal with a literal child re: my sweet baby Mol and people are like, "but he's hot though". You can walk through his fucking house filled with all the poor bastards who never stood a chance making a deal with him, stuck forever being punished for their "sins", and people will be like, "Omg, my little cringe man" like??? (Holy god, that whole quest fucked so hard with my religious trauma.)

But if not the BIGGEST fucking red flag for this public adoration of Raphael is how he's treated Hope. It's like to them, she doesn't even exist!! Like, my girl has been stuck in that House of Horrors for gods know how long, still refusing to give into his charms and his sweetly worded promises of power (unlike Korilla, who gladly abuses her sister for Raphael). And Hope helps you because for once, she finally sees a way out. The personal notes kept by Raphael on Hope's torment that you can find throughout the house are difficult to read: he tried to break her in the most insidious of ways. He was physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive to her, purely for his pleasure. Purely for the reason that he finds it amusing that he can literally torment Hope in hell.

I get that we don't have to morally approve of every character we like! For comparison on liking "bad" characters, say what you want about Astarion -- He's not a great guy! He's done some pretty bad shit! BUT he was FORCED to do all of those things by Cazador. (Also, kindly fuck the Cazador apologists, seriously.) Astarion's jaded selfishness is not who he really is, which is slowly revealed when you show respect for his personal autonomy and literally the smallest amount of kindness, whether or not you romance him. Raphael, on the other hand, wants to hurt people because it feeds into his "Daddy Mephistopheles didn't give me enough attention" superiority complex -- and tbh, that's just fucking pathetic.

The REAL OG who you all should be praising is Hope.

She has been tormented for centuries. She has been victimized by her own flesh and blood for her abuser. She has been shattered and ground down into her smallest pieces until there's almost nothing left… and yet, she hopes. She hopes for freedom. She hopes that her sister will return to being the person she so fondly remembers from her childhood. She hopes she can trust you, in spite of everything she's been through. Not to mention, when you do free her, Hope is literally one of the most badass companions you can have to help you win that fight! (For all these reasons and more, she reminds me a bit of my other fav girl Karlach.)

The reason Raphael delights in torturing Hope is because hope is a dangerous thing to have when all seems lost -- and that's the entire fucking point. This scared shitless little man sought to bend Hope to his will because her persistence/resistance threatened him, and by the gods, she is my favorite NPC because of that.

As someone who has been abused, by other people, by insidious ideologies, I can never ever, ever side with someone who so clearly mimics the very things that tried to break me and kill what remained of my hope. I see myself in Hope. Her indecision, her fear, as she dares to believe freedom is a possibility. The way her dialogue is delivered (much kudos to her voice actor) directly mimics that same scared voice in my head that second guesses myself, that worries I am not enough, that my abusers were right, that I wasn't ever deserving of happiness or being alive -- and then that same scared voice cuts through it all and screams to survive out of spite, to live happily as the best form of revenge.

Again, I get that we don't have to morally approve of every character we like! I totally understand it -- but I also want you all to expend some critical thinking as to perhaps WHY so many people are fawning over a man who is so clearly is a thinly veiled piece of shit over a woman who dared to challenge him, suffered for it, and emerged victorious.

Hope is fucking amazing. She is a gods-damned survivor. She is fury and vengeance and sorrow and joy all at once. She stays in hell to help the other souls tormented and abused by Raphael. She asks that you visit her some time. She strives to create a home of out the house that was her prison… and truly, I hope every day to be more like her.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 hope #bg3 thoughts #don't @ me #you can't change my mind #fuck Raphael and not in a fun way #hope is literally a fucking menace to Satan himself and I love her forever #cw religious trauma #tw abuse mention #baldurs gate 3

[thestalkerbunny]

"How did these dungeons get so big? They're called dungeons, does that imply they were originally castle keeps? why are there so many of them around here? Why was the rest of the castle ransacked thoroughly but the treasure all left? How do you guys eat? Do you just life hear?"

Random goblin: We will give your treasure if you shut the fuck up.

Okay but this allows me to corner you in my concepts of What a DUNGEON is-

A dungeon is a sort of perpetually expanding space and in itself is it's own type of BIOME. Consider.

Where are you going to store your extra magic items when you run out of room in the armory? Or ones that are broken and need repair? Or just don't WORK as good as they used to? The Guest Bathroom? No, IN THE BASEMENT/DUNGEON. With the Christmas Decorations.

Over time, magic seeps from these artifacts and imbues the surrounding closed off area (i.e. A basement/dungeon) with properties. Magic tends to attract creatures like Goblins. Goblins are the FIRST sign a dungeon is starting-they'll take up residence in a preestablished spot that is assured to be safe and they'll begin working on expanding it along with the magic that naturally expands it-so their families have room to grow as well as making rabbit warren like mazes to confuse intruders. Over time, the area grows bigger and bigger and more creatures begin to move in. Tentacle Beasts, Mimics, Displacers, etc. And then undead will start occuring as these predators begin to drag in dead bodies and leave the remains laying around. Then with outside elements now coming in like water, blood, miasma, etc.-Slimes begin to form. And Wowiee WOW! You got yourself a nice proper DUNGEON!

Some people take advantage of these places, like Liches, Irate Wizards pissed off with 'The MAN', rouge and mauraders looking to store their loot in an assured safe house or even Dragons seeking a place to put their fat asses for a hot minute. Sometimes a Dungeon being full of gold is just a result of Goblins collecting things and leaving what they don't want around. (Sure this Gold piece is worth more, but this COPPER PIECE is a 1459 MINT Queen Arthesiandra INVERSION so it's UPSIDE DOWN. Much much cooler.) or Liches/Wizards throwing their trash on the ground.

As The Dungeon becomes a Biome, it develops it's own flora to correspond with fauna; mostly mushrooms, plants that grow well in limited to no light, etc. etc. Lichen is a BIG part of dungeon dweller diets to the point of it being a part of agriculture. As well as unusually large blind insects that dwell down there (think Cave Crickets the size of CATS)

Dungeons are the most fascinating thing that could potentially exist because it can be ANYWHERE. Which is why Peasant NPC #98 is really concerned about the fact there are REALLY big rats in his Storage Cellar because that is possibly a DUNGEON IN PROGRESS cause he left his great Grandma's broken flying broom down there with the intent on fixing it one day.

#TSB ask #Dnd #Dungeons

[zeawesomebirdie]

Going insane in your askbox again <3 true friendship right there. Anyway so you've probably noticed I am so so into Baldur's Gate 3 right now so I just want to let the thoughts out in a discombobulated fashion. There are no fun parallels here (or are there? I think I can do fun parallels) this is just word vomit because I can't play the game until either my dad finds a way to let me play from across the Channel or until Christmas. Because I couldn't bring my good PC all the way to England and my laptop sure as fuck doesn't have the specs to play it. So.

I don't know how much you've seen of it but one of my favourite things is explaining media to people in too much detail so I will pretend you only know that there's hot characters in it. It's an RPG based on the D&D system (and set in a D&D world) where you're an adventurer kidnapped by one of those yucky psychic-powered tentacle monsters, a mindflayer. You and the whole ship of kidnappees have those nasty little mindflayer tadpoles inserted in your brain (like in TCW on Geonosis, this time it's through the eye), and even though you blow up the mindflayer ship and save yourself by the end of the tutorial, that little tadpole is going to make you into a mindflayer in a few days (that's how they reproduce). So you embark, originally, on a quest to not transform into an actual monster, and it all spirals from there. On the way, you get to meet other people who have common interests with you, the main ones being six other people with a tadpole in their brain, who can team up with you & become your companions because they also don't want to become mindflayers, but there's also lots of cool NPCs of course.

The game plays pretty close to actual D&D, if you've played it/seen people play it, so there's all the classes (except artificer alas), the spells, the combat is turn-by-turn, and you roll dice for a lot of stuff that requires skills. There's a lot of options for how you play things, dialogue, actions, etc, and it doesn't feel as "good normal thing to do vs the most cartoonishly cruel thing ever" as a lot of those immersive RPGs do (it does sometimes but way less). The story looks pretty insane from what I've seen trying not to spoil myself too much, and I say that in a very positive way.

And okay, I'm going insane about the story, sure, but mostly it's the companions. The main six are really fleshed out and interesting, their voice actors all did a great job, their writing is great, and they're so so compelling aargh. In order of when you meet them, we have... 1) Lae'zel the Githyanki, a race of alien looking green guys from a different plane of reality with a very warrior culture. They have a deep hatred of mindflayers, so Lae'zel is extremely intense about finding a cure for the tadpole issue, and they're very ferocious, so she's pretty abrasive if you haven't befriended her. 2) Shadowheart the cleric, who's a bit racist at first to be honest, and very mysterious... In part because she doesn't remember much of her life, in part because she's secretive about the bits she does remember. Then the next two are in the same area and you can see whichever first, but 3) Gale of Waterdeep, the scrungly wizard, and yes he really is so scrungly. Wizards in D&D are the spellcasters who weren't born with magic but who studied it and who owe their powers to hours of reading books, consequently he's kind of a nerd. He also asks to eat your magic items pretty early on because he's got a condition where he needs to eat magic or bad things happen. 4) Astarion, my beloved, the pale elf, the vampire spawn. Yes, him, you know who it is everyone posts about him and they're correct to do so, I mean what's not to love? He's a vampire, he's hot, he's judgy and flirty and fucked up, his morals are atrocious, absolutely great character. 5) Wyll Ravengard, the Blade of Frontiers, a charming knight in shining armour type, who given his skill with a rapier you'd think is some kind of fighter, but actually he's a warlock with a patron who's both hot and suspect. And 6) Karlach (pronounced Kar-lack, not Kar-lash), a tiefling with a burning engine for a heart and the nicest personality of any of the companions honestly. She's tall, she's strong, all the lesbians want her, and because of the engine-for-a-heart thing she runs really really hot and subsequently she can't touch things (or people) or they burn.

That's the main guys, which you can also play as if you want (but it's not the best idea for a main playthrough, you're better off creating your own adventurer and then maybe on a second/third/etc. playthrough trying one of the origins characters, or the Dark Urge, which, that's something else entirely, ignore that). They're all interesting and fun and I want to do their quests so bad and I would romance all of them at the same time if I could, but alas they're not all into polyamory. My first run is 100% going to be romancing Astarion, because I love them all but I am positively insane about him.

Now I've tried not to spoil myself too much but let's be honest I still managed to, so, eh, but it's more like sunlight through the leaves of a tree, there's still a lot of shadows, I just have a clear-ish picture of a certain amount of stuff. From that picture, I'll say that I love interactions between the companions especially, like I find all the similarities and differences between them so interesting, and the different relationships they could have fascinate me.

For example, and yes I have Astarion tunnel vision, there's an interesting dynamic with him and Wyll, or him and Karlach, there's room for fun stuff with him and Gale as well, and honestly if I knew Shadowheart and Lae'zel well enough I could say there's something there as well but I don't - except that Lae'zel and Astarion are often together in the morals thing. Oh yeah there's a companions approval thing, so sometimes when you do an action they'll approve or disapprove, and it's weighted based on how important the issue is to them. Lae'zel approves of violence, Wyll approves of helping people, etc. Well Lae'zel loves violence, because that's her culture, and Astarion - also likes violence lol, and he doesn't like stopping to save all the pathetic lifeforms you encounter. So in that way they're both focused on the goal, curing themselves from the tadpole, unwilling to stop and help every damsel in distress, and they think the best resolution to a conflict is someone's blood outside of their body.

Shadowheart and Lae'zel have this hate relationship where at the start of the game Shadowheart is kind of against Lae'zel's people (kind of rightfully so, their reputation as fierce warriors who'll destroy anything as long as it means getting rid of a mindflayer isn't exactly wrong), and Lae'zel isn't nice to anyone but especially not those who antagonise her (and people love to make them fuck about it, which. Yeah. Yeah, make them fuck about it). Karlach is part of Wyll's backstory, he was meant to kill her because she killed people but you can like, smooth things over and uncover truths or something (I haven't played that part yet!) and she can join your party and it's good now, but there's a connection there. I'm trying to connect Gale to someone but honestly I don't know now that I think about it, I need to look into him some more he's so fun to me.

But you could argue that there's things that they all have in common - I feel like, off the top of my head, they all have this authority figure who sucks in their life? Gale has Mystra, the goddess he follows (followed?) who apparently sucks violently as a person, Astarion has Cazador, the vampire who turned him and abused him for centuries, Shadowheart has I think Shar, her goddess, Wyll has Mizora, his patron who's hot and shitty, I mean she's a warlock patron, Karlach has I believe Zariel, who - kept her trapped in one of the nine Hells?, and Lae'zel has whatever the fuck is happening with the Githyanki and their queen Vlaakith which honestly sounds like a shitty cult. Like they've all got fucked up authority figures <3 it's different flavours, like Astarion and Karlach actually have a fair bit in common with the way they were treated (but they're opposites in the way they reacted, which to be fair they weren't in the exact same situation so y'know - Karlach is joyful and passionate and pretty straightforward, Astarion is sarcastic and secretive and guarded, and also he approves of you letting children get hurt), or Gale and Shadowheart who both have religion/deity issues, and Wyll and Karlach share a person from their past that sucks, but like. Lil group of fucked up homies <3 I can't wait to hold all of their hands while we decimate whoever hurt them.

I'm not kidding btw there's a scene at the start where you can literally crush the skull of the mindflayer who abducted you (off screen but it does make a crunch) and I can't wait to do the closest thing to that that the game will allow to Cazador :) I think I'm also going to have a Reaction to Gale's storyline but I've managed to keep the details fuzzy for now so I don't know more.

So hi this is me chewing at drywall desperately waiting to get to play the game <3 how's it going in DC land, having fun with all the Robins? I personally think you should look at Gale a little, he has a vibe in common with Obi-Wan (the "looks like an english professor, is actually pretty slutty" vibe) and also he says pish posh unironically and he wears pyjamas at camp (everyone else just takes off some layers and looks kind of dressed for the club, he full on gets the velvet pj top out, it's incredible). Though Wyll is also very charming, like I keep going on about how Astarion is incredible because of course I think that, and Gale has the nerd charm, and next to that Wyll looks a little Less (and he has hours less of content I think), but the man has a charm. And the ladies are great too, it's just that you're less into women, but -

Oh wait I forgot to say: you know how in D&D there's 6 stats, strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma, and the highest any of your stats can be at character creation is 17 and the lowest is 8? Astarion, unsurprisingly, has an 8 in strength, he's a rogue, it's normal; Gale also has an 8, but he's a nerd who loves books, so that's fair; and Karlach and Lae'zel both have 17 in strength, because they're great warriors, so that tracks. Shadowheart has a 13, which is fair for a cleric, and Wyll - Wyll, even though he's great with a rapier, is a warlock, and warlocks cast with their charisma, so it's not his highest stat, but it's fine, it's not going to be the dump stat either, right? Wrong. 8 strength for Wyll. It kills me every time. You've got those three women, two of whom could snap you in half and the third who could probably win at arm wrestling against random men, and three men, all with 8 in strength. 8 for an adventurer is pathetic, to be clear. 8 is your dump stat. The human average is 8 or 9. Adventurers are well above human in terms of stats. 8 in strength is normal for a wizard, but man, Wyll on his own, but also the combo of all of them having 8 in that one stat? It kills me.

(for the anecdote, their stats are roughly as follows: Astarion has an 8 in strength and a 17 in dexterity, normal for a rogue, and only 10 in charisma, which is truly enough to get him into bad situations and not enough to get out of them; Gale is a squishy wizard who, obviously, put all his points into intelligence, which - in D&D intelligence is book smarts and wisdom is street smarts, and it's the casting stat for wizards, so that tracks, his charisma manages to be higher than Astarion's also; Lae'zel has a 17 in strength and an 8 in charisma, which also tracks, she's a warrior and she doesn't need words to make people pay attention to her, she's also got a good constitution; Karlach also has the 17 strength, but her 8 is in intelligence, normal for her background and normal for a barbarian, and she has the same constitution as Lae'zel, a respectable 15; Shadowheart has a 17 in wisdom, which actually shines an interesting light on her character now that I think about it, and she's got the same 8 in charisma as Lae'zel, which, they should kiss about it; and Wyll's 17 is in charisma, which makes him the most charismatic of the group, which tracks with his vibe and the way he behaves on top of making sense for game mechanics, because once again warlocks cast with charisma. This game is turning me into a D&D player the way 3½ years of my bestie talking my ears off about the TTRPG didn't)

Actually I didn't even get to the fun point of Karlach and Astarion being contrasts in so many ways!! Because she's nice, he's mean, okay, but also. They're both kinda touch starved, but she's once again very open about it, she's overtly sad she can't touch people or pets because of her burning skin, and it feels like if you helped her with that she'd be trying to start a cuddle pile every evening at camp with zero shame about it, and also apparently there's a horny aspect to the no touch frustration thing if you're in a romance with her, because you both want to go for it but her skin says no. Astarion has spent 200 years obeying every order of a very cruel vampire lord, and he's both kind of desperate for someone to be nice to him, but also really really against people getting close to him in every sense of the term. He does also like cuddles though <3 and then there's the Wyll-Astarion thing, where Wyll is this very prince charming kinda guy, saves the widow and the innocent, just goes around helping people all the time, absolute bleeding heart, and Astarion spent 200 years suffering, hoping that someone would help, and nobody came - which is part of why he disapproves of you helping people, seeing people be so nice everywhere makes him mad, because he certainly didn't get any kindness for most of him life! You're saying that there are kind adventurers who help poor victims of fate, that there's actually a lot of those guys, it's just that none of them crossed his path, ever, in 200 years, when he was one of many and his sire is somewhat notorious?

Actually, thinking of that, there's a dialogue with Gale where Astarion says that the others can go pray to their deities if they want, but he won't, and Gale asks him if he's every prayed to any of them. He just goes "oh, I did, every one of them. None answered" and like. Arghhhh. The god worldbuilding in those two sentences!! Because there's gods of lots of things in the setting. Gods of the forgotten, the downtrodden, the victims, the abused, and the implications of that!!! I love the idea of deities actually existing, but them being both very human and also completely inhuman. Human in that they are Like Us, prone to the same fits of temper, the same cruelty, the same extremes as us, including also kindness, but inhuman in that it's pushed to eleven and distorted, because they're not actually human, either they never were or they aren't anymore. This shines a light on the human facet of them, because here it's about people, even well intentioned, kind people, turning away from suffering because it's complex and nuanced and difficult to help. Astarion was a vampire spawn, and he'd done terrible things, and his master was powerful, so... The gods are like us, they look away from pain and misery too. Insane sentences. Especially because the other gods we see also suck: Gale's goddess seems very shitty, and Shadowheart's also looks uuuh bad. I love the "gods suck" because in D&D lore those aren't just the christian god, they're kind of human, and a little bit of greek mythology vibes I would assume, and for real some of them just ascended to godhood from humanity, it's a thing that happens. So. Yeah. Sucks for Astarion obviously but that makes my brain effervescent. It's so crunchy for the worldbuilding. None of them answered..... Chewing on drywall!!

ANYWAY this is a BEAST holy shit. I have many thoughts about this game. Crunch crunch crunch. Good night beloved sleep well thank you for at least reading the unhinged ramblings, when I get the game I'll be back with even less hinges <3 can't wait for the wedding I'm going to be honest <3 <3

Ram my beloved. This is me rn:

Thank you for the hinges in my inbox!!! This was a delight to wake up to!!! No I don't understand at all but I am loving this for you!!!! May you get this game soon!!!!!!

(And thanks for all the context, like half my dash is this game and I think my boyfriend is playing it but I have somehow remained Unknowledgable about everything, so I appreciate it!!)

You asked how things are going in DC land. So. Funny story.

I'm still recovering from covid, like I'm negative now but by the Force I'm still so sick. I can't write. Like at all. Like I can't even tell you the last time I was too sick to write, it never happens. So my current fanfic reading word count is a 1.5 million words in the last three weeks. And I now have plans to make a rec list. And that's not even all!

I've also written three folk songs for superbat. Because I am Totally Normal about themb. I have spent the last several months trying to write songs In General and then three weeks of covid later I have three. About stupid idiots being in love. Because I'm Clearly Normal about them. And I low key am now just going to write a whole entire album because why not, and because none of the songs are explicitly fansongs they just sound like normal folk songs, so who's gonna know but me anyway (and all of tumblr. Bc if I manage to finish this thing I will never shut up about it)

AND. And I've also watched several movies, and started another TV show, exclusively so I could understand more fic. And that is. Going. My parents are very confused. The librarians probably get a kick out of my requests. My brothers have already started teasing me. I am having the time of my life

Also Dick is my favourite character, he's beautiful and wonderful and such a good oldest brother I love himb he is baby. I'm still working on learning about the other Robins, but I've read enough fic and seen enough comics to know sort of who the others are, it's just that my interest in things tends to fall in the pre-90's category, which means Dick is the only Robin for a lot of what I'm reading/watching

I love you, I hope you are enjoying your weekend and you and your hinges are always welcome in my inbox <3

#anon ☂️ #i just want to watch the animated 90s batman tv show #but my dad is so. so judgmental about animated stuff #and its very obviously a 90s kids show #(and thats what i love about it i love stuff from the 90s and before it is So Wonderful) #but i loathe watching things with him because he Has to comment on Everything #and i just want to suspend my belief a little #and he isnt even one to talk!!! #he watches shitty low budget horror movies!!!!! #i should be able to watch quote unquote classic movies and tv!!!!!! #(i feel so old saying something from the 90s is classic but) #anyway #hi im still clearly sick i love you

[clearlitebergaming]

time to write down semi-coherent thought about EoD +it's post expac!

so.. somehow, compared to previous expac n living worlds, EoD feels uh, short? idk, im a person that space out story and not binge everything, but even then EoD feels short

the only memorable things i remember is stuffs with aurene and rama. everything else feels kinda like blurr.... i remember liking the humor.

i did the each map meta events this time. it does helps with the story. dragon's end especially. this time anet put on big achie icon to remind me 'hey, do the meta first before ending the story, or you'll feel like HoT all over again' -- which i appreciated

finale is good tho! super nice. i see they want to culminate the whole dragon cycle saga into these last part. certainly have epic feeling to it.

i like the post expac stuffs too. felt bad for rama for his bothced party. it felt super painful....

LOVING the date with canach

i also like how major npc in previous map's meta is present for gyala delve's story. it ties off nicely! still feels lack of build up and resolution tho. im used to it by this point, gw2 is never great at building up and resolution. and i already got spoiled about it, so im not disappointed to see lack of trahearne hahahaha

it IS jarring to see gw2 suddenly utilize NAKAMA POWAA in post expac in that manner. its so anime. i dont dislike it, could be written more smoothly. VA is doing amazing. wish id see more distressed commander in the future

can i say one thing tho, the part where aurene 'said goodbye' should be done in cgi / cinematic. unless somehow i dont see it....?

ok so gameplay wise. i never did high end content, so when it came to instanced boss fight, i was pleasantly surprised they have more defined pattern n mechanic in normal content. my xiv instict kicks back in >:3 still hate when doing strike that KO'd member cant be rezzed tho :<

being able to fish is highlight of this expac not ironically. i spend many time just fishing.

seitung is my fav map this time. its pretty, and easy to get around.

new kaineng is novel in that its a 'city' that is also explorable map. but novel wore off when getting around is hard. i remember i got motion sickness often when im in that map. maybe i just havent memorize ziplines n lift location. almost felt like tangled depth, but concrete. almost, but TD is worse. echovald wild.... is also a bit confusing to get around, but at least the ground level have 'clear path' i can blaze with roller beetle to get around for meta wwww dragons end is... okay. its a map for grand meta event, the main attraction is not on the scenery, as long as i can get around quickly, im fine with it.

and then, stuffs i dont like that i nitpick. the inflammatory part. the part that probably make people whos unfortunate to read this itching to make counter post in expressing disagreement (probably lol)

in the cut.

i hate they have to kill mai trin. she doesnt have to die, her death doesnt further anything. she can jsut be benched. it makes me dislike anka even more. i dont like her when shes hurting aurene, and i feel like her reasoning is stupid. she has similar vibe to scarlet in wanting destruction, but scarlet is bound to mordremoth, she has no choice. beside, making mai trin+scarlet fend off anka is super epic, it could be redemption for both girls. up to this point, i dont have 'ugh i dont like this character' in petty way, and congratz anka for earning that place (zojja came close, i dislike her being super petty and abbrassive esp to eir --i dont even like eir that much. but shes felt very different when i play as asura, shes super caring in tough big sister way. so i can let her slide)

post soo won got loose, and we have to confront joon, but joon threw a big tantrum. i understand shes stressed and not thinking clearly, loosing soo won and putting the whole cantha on energy disaster, but when she rambles about 'not sorry for being who she is/can' i was liek, "girl idk where that came from, now is not the time!" super out of left field. no one in commander side is questioning her ability, she just almost trauma dump on commander right when aurene is at stake.

now when i think about it, i got riled up real hot when either taimi or aurene got in harms way lol.

on to post expac stuffs,

stop making me care about eir goddamn it. its getting annoying at this point. i have nothing against eir, i just dont feel anything, stop making me to. if anything i felt bad for killing trahearne, but we cant have that grieve can we, anet?

of all ppl anet think commander is feeling guilty for...

you know who i feel more guilty for instead of cinder? those poor unarmed bastards smodur told me to drop bombs to inside bunker in drizzle wood.

id even go further by saying my commander still have regrets over shelling his own troops in PS, or over Tonn and Apatia's death. tho i understand anet cant do it because they long ditched permutations.

well, its not that bad actually.

will try to save to buy SOTO for now, or trying to get sule up to EoD as well.

#gw2 #gw2 rambles #end of dragon

[jessjustplay]

Final Fantasy X-2 Game Review

March 30, 2024

I know this game gets a lot of hate and even when it's not "hate", I still find the comments to be generally harsh. I promise, it's okay to say something nice about X-2. No one is going to hurt you!

Battle System

I love the battle system in this game, it's fun and fast-paced. Final Fantasy X-2 relies on Garment Grids and Dresspheres for battles. Dresspheres are the names of the class jobs (Black Mage, Thief, etc.) and they each have a unique look for each girl. Most of them have the same abilities for all 3 characters, but a few of them (like the Festivalist and Mascot) have unique abilities for each character.

Garment Grids are a game screen with nodes where you equip the dresspheres onto, then you equip each character with a Garment Grid. Whatever dresspheres are on their equipped Garment Grid are the jobs they are able to use and master. Mastering a dressphere means that you learned all of the abilities and skills on that specific dressphere.

Yuna, Rikku, and Paine make up your 3-person party. The HD Remaster version has something called "Creature Creator", and from what I understand, you're able to have non-playable characters and fiends in your party. I've never used it though, so I have no idea what it's like. I couldn't imagine playing this game without YRP as my party.

Characters

The Gullwings is a sphere-hunting group comprised of Yuna, Rikku, Paine, Brother, Buddy, and Shinra. They are a silly bunch, each adding their unique flairs to make a well-rounded character group.

We meet many NPCs throughout our journey, many who will be remembered from from Final Fantasy X. The game adds a lot of new characters too, including leaders of groups and factions that have sprung up around Spira.

When played to completion, you are able to see how the threads of each person connect to one another. Even if you don't get 100%, you still see the bonds between them all. Granted, you really need to do a lot more than just the initial Hot Spots! That's the thing about this game, you can miss so much if you don't know where to look.

Gameplay

The game is built with a completion system. While the battle system gives you a lot of freedom, the narration of this game is greatly dependent on doing things in an exact order. This is not the kind of game you play on a whim. You need a strategy guide or at least a 100% completion checklist. It is so easy to miss completion points, and when you are only using Buddy's location list as a guide, you will miss a lot of things!

You are also given a lot of on-screen options which will greatly affect future events, to the point of blocking off complete locations. Nothing is necessarily a wrong choice, but if you want "100% Complete" in one playthrough, there are definitely wrong choices!

While I can see how needing a checklist can make the game feel like a "chore", since you're looking at a to-do list, I think the reward is worth it. (I also just really like lists. *shrug*) My point is, using a guide guarantees you won't miss anything!

And I suppose I'm stressing this so much because I watched a gamer play Final Fantasy X-2 for the first time on Twitch. She did not follow a guide and, not surprisingly, she was unhappy with the game and admitted to not understanding the story.

I used the Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster strategy guide by Brady Games and I used this 100% completion guide on GameFAQs as well as this one by KG21.

Graphics/Art

The game looks great and has one of the nicest menus I have ever seen in a video game! I think the menu is clearly defined and organized well. The outfits in this game are top tier and I always love seeing the transformation scenes (but only once, because we have battles to win!). I made a video just talking about the looks of Final Fantasy X-2, you can watch it here: Dresspheres Critique [video].

Music/Sound

One of the best soundtracks in the Final Fantasy series, and hands down the prettiest main menu/title menu theme. Yuna's Ballad is also very beautiful, the battle themes are fun, and I actually prefer the Besaid Island theme in this game than in Final Fantasy X.

There are two vocal songs: Real Emotion (the upbeat intro song) and 1,000 Words (the beautiful, melancholic song played later in the game). I think the movies that play with these songs are some of the prettiest scenes in the game! The music also helps highlight the Songstress dressphere.

Also, at the start and end of each battle, the girls have one-liners either pumping each other up or congratulating their win. They will also say something when a new event happens, such as when they acknowledge their first time wearing a dressphere. Paine in particular is quite funny when she first dons the Tonberry Mascot dressphere. 🤭

Overall

I love this game. I think it's adventurous, sad, mysterious, reflective, and inspiring. Yes, there are silly moments sprinkled in, but it's fine. This is a different time than Final Fantasy X! After all, Sin is gone.

While Sin may no longer attack, in his wake he left behind a haunting in the hearts of Spira. Individuals and communities are no longer connected from the universal fear they once felt, the glue that tied them together as one.

In Final Fantasy X-2, we see the people of Spira dealing with this new freedom from fear, joining groups to find identity and life purpose. From The Gullwings' perspective, specifically playing as Yuna, we witness Spira's grief, hatred, confusion, friendship, and healing, not just from those in the present but from the past, too.

As mentioned above, it's a story that plays out best when as much of the completion points can be achieved.

#final fantasy x-2 #final fantasy #game review

[justaboot]

idk if ur still doing the bingo cards but I'm BEGGING for your thoughts on fenton or Kit Cloudkicker?

Goonies never stop doing bingo

Fenton!!! My son!! My boy!!!

I love him so much! I will say, I think it’s so funny they got Lin Manuel Miranda, and I think he’s great, but never once have I ever seen Lin Manuel Miranda in something and not thought “Hello, that is Lin Manuel Miranda,” instead of his character. Which is just a mountain of comedy. In my head, his entire acting career he’s just playing himself in ridiculous positions. Lamplighter Lin. Science intern Manuel. Hot air balloon cowboy Miranda. My best friend he’s so dumb.

Kit Cloudkicker

OKAY stay with me we literally watched this episode last night, but I think it would have worked way better at a different point in the series? Like, that’s the last Adventure™️ episode of the entire show, and it really just felt like one long inside joke for people that watched his original show. Darkwing Duck had a great sideways introduction for people who were unfamiliar with the original, but Kit isn’t…quite likeable enough (for me) to be a standalone NPC type without knowing a bit more about him? I don’t actually think I mind him as a character, but his use was weird, the writing was heavy handed, and his relationship with Della was muddy, which is fine, but in a character driven episode hinging on 3 central characters and bonus Huey as a moral sounding board, it just felt a little offside.

That being said!!! I do love watching it!!! The jokes are funny! I think it’s a really interesting concept! It just felt a bit off.

[autumnbrambleagain]

okay let’s do this. Dark Souls NPC rankings. bosses not included unless you interact with them in some way other than fighting them

Dark Souls 1:

The Fair Lady: Unquestionably top tier. Donate 9999 Humanity every playthrough. 11/10.

Solaire: Jolly, friendly, iconic. Introduces fundamental parts of the setting to you, joins in your adventures in parallel, two tragic endings. Enduring legacy. 10/10.

Siegmeyer: In quite a pickle! Iconic, fun, tragic. Also joins in your adventures in parallel. Two tragic endings. Great armor set. 10/10.

Lautrec: Didn’t pop off in memes like Solaire or Siegmeyer, but I think easily just as good. 10/10.

Patches: YOU. 10/10.

Quelana of Izalith: Great character, good lore, fierce fashion. Endearing relationship that develops as the game goes on. 9/10.

Priscilla: Mysterious and tragic and also like yeah she’s cute. 9/10.

Alvina: One woulds’st best not think not so unpoorly of this dear cat, no? [Yes][No] Plenty of story, strong presence and personality. Is a cool cat monster. 8/10.

Laurentias of the Great Swamp: Chill dude, good friend, teaches you how pyromancy works. Tragic ending you really feel sad for. 8/10.

Eingyi of the Great Swamp: His devotion is admirable. Sweetest simp. 7/10.

Domnhall of Zena: Aye simwae. Story is pretty sparse but what an impression. 7/10.

Big Hat Logan: Iconic hat. Iconic naked fight in the Archives. Doesn’t bring too much to the table but what he does is great. 7/10.

Frampt: *clacks teeth together* 7/10.

Gough: Great personality, tragic boy, great shot, 7/10.

Ciaran: Incredible fucking fashion and weapons. Shows up on-screen for 10 seconds. Would be way higher if she was more than an easter egg. 6/10.

Anstacia of Astora: Minor role, huge impact, great outfit. 6/10.

Oswald of Carim: What the fuck this is just like a jumpscare from Five Fuckers at Uncle Festers. 6/10.

Crestfallen Warrior: The classic in full form. 6/10.

Andre of Astora: Sure he’s all right. 6/10.

Darkmoon Knight: Good armor, memorable but doesn’t do much. 6/10.

Petrus of Thoroland: Fuck this guy, weird rapist-vibes asshole. Deeply memorable, very hateable, 6/10.

Giant Blacksmith: Yeah all-right. 6/10.

Shiva the East: MORE LIKE SHIVA THE DEC--eh decent fashion but that’s it. 5/10.

Ingward: I literally dressed as him for Halloween once. Otherwise not much to say about him. 5/10. 

Marvelous Chester: ... okay? 5/10?

Griggs of Vinheim: Stuck in a barrel. Chasing Logan’s shadow. Some lore implications with him being an assassin? Mostly memorable for the barrel thing. 4/10.

Undead Merchant, Male: Kind of a jackass I guess. 4/10.

Dusk of Oolacile: Memorable, but only because of her circumstances. Kind of a non-character. 4/10.

Blacksmith Vamos: Eh. 4/10.

Rickert of Vinheim: Being in an underground jail is memorable, and he gives you your first sorceries, and I guess he does magic weapon upgrading? But not much else going on. Eh. 3/10.

Reah of Thorolund: Kind of bland. Damsel in distress. She’s there, I guess. 3/10.

Elizabeth: That’s a mushroom. 3/10.

Undead Merchant, Female: Eh. 2/10.

Crestfallen Merchant: Who. 2/10.

Dark Souls 2:

THE RAT KING: MY KING. The hottest Dark Souls character. Runs the COOLEST fucking covenant in any Dark Souls. Has an entire character arc where he starts out reluctantly allowing a human’s service to you becoming “one of the good humans” to you changing his mind and letting him dream that someday humans and rats can live and die together in peace and his voice fucking BREAKS several times with emotion as you change his entire life and fill him with pride, you, his dear SERVANT. AAAA. 99999/10.

Sweet Shalquoir: Whimsical sarcastic fae cat jerk holy fucking shit 11/10.

Weaponsmith Ornifex: Skee hee! So now the boss-weapon vendor in this game is not only a hot monster but she’s adorable and friendly and likes to make spooky dolls too? 11/10.

Lucatiel of Mirrah: A character who adventures with you the entire game AND whose storyline is not only about what it means to be cursed with undeath but asks questions of memory and legacy and identity? With a great fashion?? 10/10.

Gavlan: Gavlan Wheel. Gavlan deal. When you with Gavlan? You wheel. You deel. 10/10.

Titchy Gren: I can’t cum unless you tell me how much you like blood, tell me more about blood please ooh hhhhh blooodddddddd 10/10.

Shanalotte: A lot of cut content keeps her story too secret. But it’s fun to have a guide with a mysterious past that’s with you the whole game. Bearer seek seek lest. 9/10.

King Vendrick: OOO dark souls 2 is just a pointless repeat of dark souls 1 fuck you Vendrick shows there’s an entire new paradigm of Kings with Manus-Shard wives and his story is weird and sad and you spend the entire game chasing after him and when you finally reach him you FINALLY discover... there’s nothing left of him. And then you go back in time and talk to him and it’s even sadder. 9/10.

Head of Vengarl: Talk to a decapitated head in the middle of a foggy, haunted wood, about finding peace in life. 9/10.

Straid of Olaphis: Asshole frozen for a thousand years continues to be an asshole to great applause. Ha ha ha ha! 9/10.

Crestfallen Saulden: This time the Crestfallen Warrior gets a happy ending and it’s wonderful. 9/10.

Laddersmith Gilligan: Gives you one of the nicest looking weapons in the game. Gives you one of the funniest looks in the game if you short-change him and he sets up a death-trap while glaring at you for being stingy while you WATCH him do it. Hilarious. 9/10.

Alsanna, the Silent Oracle: Powerful tragic queen defying her nature out of love. 8/10.

Maughlin the Armorer: You watch the undead curse destroy this man’s mind as the game goes on and it’s fucking heartbreaking but at least he’s happy. 8/10.

Three Firekeepers: Insult you the moment they see you. Tell you it’s Dark Souls and you’re going to die. Also respec you and come to respect you just a little bit. 8/10.

Bellkeeper Mannikin: UNDEAD! UNDEAD! What an amazing, insane jackass. What a GREAT covenant. 8/10.

Grave Warden Agdayne: What the fuck is your deal what is going ON in this setting tell me more I want to know more why is your sword SO BIG why are you so HOT. 8/10.

Jester Thomas: You can summon him AND he invades you so I’m counting it. He doesn’t talk but oh my god the personality this one asshole brings to the table. 8/10.

Darkdiver Grandahl: Darkness Grampa, I’m ready for the bonus dungeons. 7/10.

Felkin the Outcast: Gives you lore about the Dark, gives you cool spells, has the hat that everyone wears because it increases your casts. 7/10.

Benhart of Jugo: Your Siegmeyer equivalent. Uses the Moonlight Greatsword but OOPS it’s a counterfeit. Hilarious. 7/10.

Blacksmith Leningrast: Isn’t Andre. Good dad, faintly tragic story, dumbass locked himself out of his own house. 7/10.

Merchant Hag Melentia: Gives you backstory dump, helps Majula feel less empty, AND is creepy and old? 7/10.

Licia of Lindelt: Fucking miracle scam artist hilarious. 7/10.

Camptain Drummond: Appears in one scene really, but gives a good feel of the history of the world and that it isn’t just about your quest to kill bosses or whatever real people have lived and died between the cycles. 7/10.

Manscorpion Tark: Assigned malewife at birth by Seath. 6/10.

Magarold of Lanafir: I want to fuck this twink violently that’s all. 6/10.

Royal Sorceror Navlaan: Oh THIS asshole again. 6/10.

Rosabeth of Melfia: Vomits on screen for way too long and it’s hilarious. Can dress her as you like. Not unmemorable personality. 6/10.

Stone Trader Chloanne: Tragic story, but doesn’t go much of anywhere--but it’s DS2, part of the point is it doesn’t have a tragic ending. 6/10.

Dyna and Tillo: Gimme the FUCKING whip already. 5/10.

Blue Sentinel Targray: Absolutely average in every way. Nice armor though. Give it to me. 5/10.

Creighton the Wanderer: Nothing special on his own, but pared with Pate their storyline is at least interesting. 5/10.

Mild Mannered Pate: Well, he isn’t Patches that’s for sure, but he does have a fun bit of story. 5/10.

Nashandra: I love you get to talk to her before she’s the final boss, but I wish it was far more substantial than what we get. 5/10.

Ancient Dragon: Incredible lead-up to a confusing pay-off. We all thought he was Aldia but I guess he’s not? Why is he the same as the corpse by Freja? What’s going on. 4/10.

Chancellor Wellager: Eh. Gives you good exposition I guess? 4/10.

Steadyhand McDuff: Shape up, shape up. 4/10.

Carhillion of the Fold: Asshole. 4/10.

Milibeth: Hits you with a fucking ladle. Otherwise not much going on. 4/10.

Cale the Cartograher: I’m going to be honest even looking him up I barely remember anything useful about him. 3/10.

Cromwell the Pardoner: Wishes he was Oswald of Carim. 3/10.

Dark Souls 3

Patches/Lapp: At his absolute peak, the pinnacle of his storyline. 11/10.

Anri of Astora: You go on parallel adventures and they suffer the loss of their friend; then they either die avenging the creepy monster that raised and abused them as kids, or you hijack their story and turn them into your thrall-spouse in a weird mirror emulation of the cycle of kings and their dark-brides. Could have been better served not using the Elite Knight armor. 10/10.

Greirat of the Undead Settlement: He’s just a little guy and he wants to help! Oops--uh oh--oh no. 10/10.

Karla: Shard of Manus that never found a king. Great character, sarcastic but endearing and genuine. 10/10.

Ludleth of Corland: I may be small, but I die a colossus. 10/10.

Singing Cage: Has 4 lines of dialogue and they will never leave my head. Another nana’s disappeared... 10/10.

Firekeeper: Vaguely tragic. Sticks with you even if you decide the entire system is broken and it’s time for the quiet gentle of nothing to settle upon the world. 9/10.

Freide: Lots going on with her, from pretending to be a Priscilla to rule Ariandel, to abandoning Londor’s search for a Dark Lord, to being a failed Lord of Cinder who never linked the flame. Also, yes, fine, one of the best boss fights in the series. 9/10.

Company Captain Yorshka: Oh don’t do this to me oh no don’t ask me how Gwyndolin’s doing oh no oh no. Yes, though, I’m probably a bird don’t worry about it. 9/10.

Irina of Carim: Yeah okay let’s all get super depressed and miserable. 8/10.

Hawkwood the Deserter: This time the Crestfallen Warrior regains his crest and he tries to kill YOU! Okay. Decent twist. 8/10.

Yuria of Londor: You get TWO maidens guiding you this time, and this one’s got a katana and wants you to bring an age of dark. Neat! 7/10.

Eygon of Carim: Oh, THIS asshole. Yeah. Yeah this asshole. 7/10.

Holy Knight Hodrick: Great fashion, great asshole, gets killed by his own daughter. 7/10.

Knight Vilheim: A maille MANTLE? Yes I love that fashion. Doesn’t have much presence beyond appearance and threatening you but like, yeah it’s a good presence. 7/10.

Archer Giant: Okay you hardly interact with him but he’s a MEMORABLE set-piece oh god my standards are so low the NPCs in Dark Souls 3 fucking suck. 7/10.

Yoel of Londor: Does a good job establishing the stakes and setting this time, and is a neat dude. He dies, it’s surprising and sad. 7/10.

Shrine Handmaid: Time-travel fuckery and a cranky grandma make her a fun experience yeah. 7/10.

The Painter: Priscilla’s... daugther? Reincarnation... narrative continuity? It’s good to know the painted world can continue outside of the cycle of light and dark I guess. 7/10.

Horace the Hushed: Basically an accessory for Anri but nah he’s got his own backstory implications going on. 6/10.

Pickle Pee: Pump...a--RUM! 6/10.

Orbeck of Vinheim: Basically a retread of the mage assassins from DS1. Eh. Not a bad remix though. 5/10.

Ringfinger Leonard: At least it’s a covenant with someone to tell you what the covenant is about. 5/10.

Forlorn Corvid Settler: It’s painful to see Ornifex’s people became a bunch of rotting birds dragging their poop around, but that’s a good thing. 5/10.

Drowsy Forlorn: Okay, he only has a few lines of dialogue but it’s such a strong introduction to Ariandel. 5/10.

Slave Knight Gael: Kind of shows up once, then you summon him, and then there’s a few messages he left, and then he’s... what, the final fucking boss of the ENTIRE franchise? Excuse me? Yes, he’s one of the best boss fights in the ENTIRE franchise, yes, but why, who, what? He’s just the Dark Soul at that point, and YES sure the point is he’s a nobody like you who managed to last until the end of time or whatever, sure, I don’t care. My reaction to him being the final boss of the series was not “Oh hell yeah” but “... huh? What? Why?” 5/10.

Rosaria, Mother of Rebirth: ... are you Gwynevere? Who are you? I want to know more, and I don’t know if that’s a good mystery or just a frustrating lack of content. 5/10.

Cornyx of the Great Swamp: ... eh? Okay? 5/10.

Sirris of the Sunless Realms: ... okay? Sure? Okay. I guess killing your mad father is a story at least? 5/10.

Pilgrim Butterfly Nascent: That’s... neat? She becomes an immortal angel dream supported by a cocoon of her own flesh? Why? Because it’s neat? Sure, it’s neat. 5/10.

Old Woman of Londor: She’s in the game I guess. 4/10.

High Priestess Emma: She tells you what direction to go I guess. Guess she raised Prince Lothric? Okay that’s nice. 4/10.

Blacksmith Andre: Hey remember dark souls 1 you liked dark souls 1 right you like andre right we brought him back please like us. Why is he here. How is he here. What is any of this? 1/10.

Archdeacon McDonnel: Oh, a covenant leader without any dialogue whatsoever. I love not even being given a reason to join a covenant or learning anything about it. 0/10.

Old Wolf of Farron: Oh, a covenant leader without any dialogue whatsoever. I love not even being given a reason to join a covenant or learning anything about it. 0/10.

Siegwhatever: Long may the sun shine! You’re just fucking Siegmeyer YOURE JUST FUCKING SIEGMEYER stop trying to tug at my nostalgia sure you have your own plot with Yhorm that comes out of nowhere but YORE JUST FUCKING SIEGMEYER TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT FUCK YOU 0/10

--

I’m not doing one for Elden Ring because even if I controversially don’t like Elden Ring much, it has a ton of great NPCs and even if it’s fucking OBNOXIOUS finding where they’ve gone in a fucking open world game without a guide without checking every single location in the game every time you do anything spend just 10 hours combing the entire map becausue who knows maybe Alexander is here now maybe Blaidd is inthe fuucking evergoal fuck you--

ahem. excuse me. despite all of that Elden Ring has great NPCs.

BUT MY POINT IS

fuck Dark Souls 3 it has the weakest npcs it fucking sucks

Dark Souls 2? Best NPCs. Best most fun wonderful. Dark Souls 2 best dark souls.

#autumn says things #dark souls #dark souls 1 #dark souls 2 #dark souls 3 #npc rankings

[oofuri2003]

Out of curiosity are there. Other ships. Within the DND game thing or does Naoni live in a sort of harem environment

AAAHAHAHAHAH!?!?!!?! Okay. Well. God sorry this just made me laugh so hard um. Well there are plenty of ships. And plenty of great characters. Naoni just has the unique problem of dickmatizing men into nat 20 rolling on how into him they are. So he kind of. Well he kind of did have a harem going there for a hot minute. Even tho he has a 6 charisma so he fumbled all of those bags. And now his life is going to get worse. He just personally has a lot going on tbh the price you pay for being beautiful and weird and mysterious and skilled

More deets if ur morbidly curious: One of our party members (obie) has a long term girlfriend...one of them (atlas) has a long term uhh what would i call that. Interest. In another npc. Demona has...well she has angela. Poison water isnt rly in our party rn but she gets around [;)] There are a plethora of other npcs with interactions w/ each other or the party members that are ripe for the picking. Lots to think about!

#dnd gsme tjing. 😭😭😭 #dxd #naoni #feel free to ask more this just is so... i smiled #if youre asking is naonis campaign supposed to be a harem simulator the answer is no he just is like that

[uc-beepboop]

Hey quick question, which UC arc was just a ton of milfs? Because I'm looking to get into the Podcast and this seems like a great diving in point.

Hmm okay so there are a couple arcs that are have hot fems but I listed a couple. You could probably call it after you read my bit abt arc 2, but I’ll take any reason to blab.

Arc 2: All four PCs are hot fems planning a heist. In my head only one of them reaches milf energy tho bc I think of most of them as pretty young (also ages are hella weird in D&D so I think that’s tripping me up.) Feisty. I recommend this one if you’re just starting.

Arc 6: I wouldn’t say that all the fems have milf energy here but there is strong milf energy in the arc by like. Two PCs. Also warning: very *very* sad.

Arc 8: The main point of this arc is high politics, building on past arcs. Also 4/5 of the PCs are hot fems. MILFs, you might say, cuz in my head this arc has the most qualified milfs. Do NOT recommend as your first arc bc there’s a lot of worldbuilding needed to understand.

Arc 9: Hmm… lotta morally gray fems. Dunno if it quite reaches *milf* energy because they’re all very young. But, one is kinda sorta a mother.

Arc 10: lots of hot fem NPCs. This would be a cool intro point as well bc it doesn’t have a lot to do with the other arcs (also is DMed by the wonderful Amelia Som)

Arc 12: Reunion arc 2, so of course it will also have a lot of hot fem energy. As of writing this, the first ep (well ep 0) comes out tomorrow!

#unprepared casters recommendations #start with arc 2 #have fun! #shout out to arc 5 with Omen trying to find hot milfs for his mother #of course also the wren/Lily ship