jjk men and jobs!!
summary:
jjk men and there modern jobs!!
characters:
gojo, geto, choso, nanami, toji, megumi, yuji, ino
authors note
wow this was a lot more than i was thinking id wrote for my first time! let me know what you think!
CONTAINS! nsfw, fluff
bartender! gojo
-i just see gojo as a bartender, i have literally no clue why i just do.
-just imagine him standing behind the bar, muscles showing through his tight dress shirt, sleeves slightly pulled up🤭🤭
-thats definitely how you guys met, him standing behind the bar on your 21st birthday, your friends long gone partying and you just sitting there, looking all sweet.
“aww look at the little birthday girl layin down and takin my cock so well” all you can do to respond to the man pounding into you is clench your pussy around his cock. “to fucked dumb to say anything? its okay baby we’ll be finished soon and i can send you back to your friends” when you do end up going back to your friends, gojo is back behind the bar serving drinks and your walking out of the bar with cum dripping down your leg.
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tattoo artist! geto
-i have such a love hate relationship with this man😞
-he looks like he would genuinely be so talented, and so skillful with his hands(🤭)
-his favorite tattoos to do are definitely the more intricate ones he can really put his heart into
-you probably came into his shop, no appointment and wanting your first tattoo. normally, he probably wouldnt have done it for anybody else, but you’re just to cute to refuse.
“hold still princess, it’ll only hurt for a moment” geto says, pressing the needle to your skin, a loud cry leaving your throat. normally, this wouldnt bother him but today its just different. no matter how many times he tells you to stay quiet or for you to not move, you dont listen, you cant help it after all. “y’know what if your gonna keep bitchin i’ll make you quite”
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piercer! choso
-this man has my heart he could literally do anything to me
-choso is such a sweetheart, he really is, but he doesn’t necessarily look that sweet.
-with his strong build, arms covered in tattoos, several piercings, he looks a little more rugged.
-this certainly wasnt your first piercing, but it was one of your more painful ones, and based on the reviews, choso was your best and safest bet.
-you were definitely nervous but once you saw choso you almost turned around and left. but your committed, your going to get this piercing.
“just lay down on the chair and it wont take very long” you lay down, ‘to late to turn back now’ you thought. as you lay back choso takes his seat in between your legs, preparing everything to complete the piercing. his hands slightly lifted up your shirt to expose your belly button. you would be lying if it wasn’t a great sight. “so pretty, ready for your piercing?”
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ceo! nanami
-i know, i know “ceo? everyone puts him as that” its just what he is😞
-he looks so good, sitting at the desk in his office, one foot crossed over the other propped on the desk, working on paper work
-your just his little secretary bringing him coffee every morning and checking up on him every so often. i guess you wouldnt want colleagues to know what you always do at your 2 o’clock meeting.
“such a good girl bent over the desk for me” he says, fingers plunging in and out of your tight cunt. “nanamin p-please give’m more” you slur out, then feeling a sharp slap across your ass, causing you to whimper. “if you dont shut up your not getting any of my cock”
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plumber! toji
-oh god he can come clean my pipes whenever 😊😊 (please send help)
-definitely fucking hates his job😭 wishes he didnt have to work but knows he needs the money bad.
-you would think he would half ass shit to get it done but he’s doing everything the best he can so he never has to come back.
-and then he came to your house, or, your daddys mansion.
“m’better hurry up before your daddy gets home” toji says, holding your hips as you bounce on his cock. “t-toji your too big., m’gonna cum soon- ah” you cried out, but your sobs fell to deaf ears as toji started fucking up into you harder “c’mon baby lets make this quick, we can do more next time”
toji didn’t fix all of your houses pipes this time, looks like he’ll have to come back to finish the job.
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actor! megumi
-he’s a pretty boy so ofc he’s gonna be on screen
-all the girls want him, he’s literally the josh hutcherson of his universe. constant edits being made of him, always being shipped with someone new.
-what they wouldnt expect is the one he wants isnt an actor, a producer, another celebrity of any kind, but his own personal makeup artist
“hold still megs i have to put more blush on you” you say, slightly sticking your tongue out to concentrate. megumi’s hands find there way to your hips, and pulling you down onto his lap, causing you to accidentally get to much blush on the side of his face“megumi! now im gonna have to redo your base” you whine, but megumi doesn’t care, pulling you into a slow kiss “as long as i get to spend more time with my favorite girl”
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delivery driver! yuji
-i felt bad for giving him a delivery driver (no hate to delivery drivers obvi) i feel like its so much less glamorous but it kinda fits him😭😭
-yuji is a little pizza boy, driving around the city in his busted, broken toyota camry, but whatever pays the bills right?
-but, hes a broke college student and this is the only way to pay off all his loans.
-its his last house for the night, he walks up to the door and sees you, teary eyed and holding a tub of ice-cream in one hand and a spoon in the other.
“fuck.. you like that? do i fuck you better than he ever could” he said, your pushed against the wall with yuji fucking you at a pace you cant keep up woth “mmmhm.. m’yes- y..uji soso good!” you cry out, tears spilling from your face as he keeps going “good, i’ll fuck the thoughts of him out of your mind”
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firefighter! ino
-oh my lord imagine this man in firefighter gear, AWOOGA, that hose aint the only thing spraying🥰(im sorry that was so bad😭)
-ino is a caring person, putting others safety before his own, i mean thats his job as a firefighter.
-so when someone sets your apartment on fore, ino is the first one rushing in to help, even tho he has no clue who you are
-he helps you out, and then theres the investigation, but ino is the only one you trust to talk to about what happened! looks like you’ll be spending a lot more time with him!!
“cmon baby im only fucking you in here cause you basically begged for me infront of those police officers “ he says hips snapping against your own, balls slapping your ass. “i only wanna talk to that firefighter ino! cant i talk to ino!” he says in a high pitch tone meant to be mocking you. “well now im here so talk to me baby, tell me how you feel.”
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I have seen people question whether dios apate minor really needed to happen the way it did. it's the 'this could have been an email' of htn. 'augustine this did not have to be a threesome', I hear people saying. and boy do I have an obnoxious amount of things to say to protest this perfectly sensible assertion so here we go haha
1) yes it absolutely had to be like that. It says so on this piece of paper *hands you a piece of paper that says "because I said so and also it's narratively and thematically Sexy"* in my half-legible handwriting. seeing tamsyn muir describe harrow the ninth as a book about being a kid and realizing your parents probably had sex has given me such validation, I am unstoppable now. (to be serious for a moment, harrow the ninth is essentially a bildungsroman, and the threesome scene does a whole lot of thematic heavy lifting around harrow glimpsing elements of adulthood, relationships, and sexuality she clearly finds at the same time repulsive, bewildering and fascinating, and around opening her and especially our eyes to how much john is just a man with human longings still, under the god stuff. dios apate is crucial plot- and character-wise too -- it's a loadbearing threesome in terms of delivering the clues you need to piece together the mystery plot of the book, which is simply delightful -- but even more so thematically. and then the scene at the end where they confront john gives gideon some of that same opportunity to peek into adulthood and go '...well shit I guess', as a sort of mirror, just without the french kissing that time and more murder. the things magnus and abigail model for the girls about love and adulthood? mercy and augustine are providing the opposite-day batshit insane version of that fhdskjfa, you know, for contrast and spice)
2) listen... it gets lonely out there in deep space with your 'legendary unamorous' brother, two infant pathetic baby kitten sisters who you'll probably have to kill one day when you take another stab at god if they don't manage to get themselves killed along the way on their own, and the two people you've spent the last ten thousand years having separate yet connected married & divorced arcs with and also btw one of them is god... honestly a threesome over the dinner table is probably The most well-adjusted reaction one might hope for under those circumstances
3) on a characterization level I think Augustine is actually doing something incredibly deliberate with it: he's presenting John with yet another chance to admit what he did. which is notable especially since the deal he and mercy agree on as a condition for the threesome to happen at all seems to be that they're going to give the ol' godslaying another game try sooner rather than later. (I get the sense that it's not so much that he disagrees with her ultimate goal so much as that he thinks she's being dangerously indiscreet and hasty going about it, before. “though I think it will be the death of us,” huh.)
notice how he's structuring the whole thing: he's invoking the intimacy and love in their strange little threeway relationship and how long it's been by truly playing along with john's 'we're a happy family really when we're at home! :)' delusion (helped along by lowered inhibitions via enormous amounts of alcohol and what I've previously described as a joint mercy/augustine leyendecker themed thirst trap. ah, a classic). he brings up alecto and what happened to her -- or rather, he is clever enough to make john bring up alecto and how she is totally dead, right?? by seeming to make a careless statement that leads there and then acting contrite about it after. he (helped along by mercy, who I think realizes exactly what he's doing -- this is very much a two-man con) brings up how much they all loved their cavaliers, and wow funny how that's been haunting us for ten thousand years now huh :) wow, a lot of our other lyctor friends slash family sure are super dead in the name of some unknowable greater reason neither of us quite grasp and that you won't fucking tell us, aren't they. these are all the main grievances he and mercy confront john about at the end of the book, but put forth much more subtly and not phrased as an accusation -- he's baring his and mercy's vulnerabilities as bait, essentially. if john had, say, a conscience where his conscience should be instead of a black hole, it probably should have stirred something in him.
(also let me just say... the way augustine just takes a pneumatic drill to the TWO tender spots g1deon seems to have and then has the audacity to be like 'oh dear. did that upset him. ooof my bad *loooong dead-eyed slurp of his wine*' is just sooo... he's such a bitch!!! he's the only person who could ever have held their own in a ten-thousand-year bitch-off with mercy and I love him so much. well even if it wasn't all to get g1deon into murder range for harrow I think he wouldn't enjoy sticking around for the 'getting our tongues on god' part of the evening so maybe it's a kindness, really, and totally not pent-up aggression from the last twenty years or so breaking through)
he is all but shaking john by the lapels begging him to just... come clean about it already, to stop thinking he's still kidding everyone else along with himself. it's clear throughout the book that augustine knows exactly what john is at this point -- and all of the most cynical things he does say about it turn out to be distressingly right. john is always less sentimental than you'd think. john wouldn't forgive mercy, he will abandon in a heartbeat anything that isn’t necessary to him anymore, whether emotionally or in some other way. and still he seems to hold out some desperate absurd hope that the man he wants, the man he thought was there, is in there, somewhere deep deep down, if he just gives him the chance to show himself.
(mercy definitely has her own side of this whole thing, I'm just focusing more on augustine because this evening was like. his idea in the first place and I feel like we can Read Some Things into that fact lol. now that we have both ntn and htn to go from I sort of have this sense that the things augustine wants from john are more... personal? more interpersonal? they both love him equally, but mercy's love seems tinged slightly more towards the religious (augustine accuses her of knowing 'only worship without adoration', which like... also the eight house's entire Vibe lol) -- mercy at the end of that book is totally a person breaking up with GOD, not just with john -- while augustine's vibe is more like a man in the last not-with-a-bang-but-a-whimper days of a marriage that sort of felt like it could have been something real and good once but all your illusions about it have since been taken from you and trampled underfoot into the mud and you've had the divorce papers signed and ready in a drawer for over a year now, hell, as it turns out, is other people etc. lmao)
having a threesome over the dinner table with god is one thing, having a threesome over the dinner table centered on the one man and god who has yet again let you down in a way so fundamental it can barely fit into words and who you both still love in a way anyway, miserably, and also just reaffirmed your joint resolution to murder (all under the pretense that it gives your baby sisters the chance to murder your brother of ten thousand years yeah that's why this is happening no other underlying aching emotional motivations here haha)... listen mercy and augustine are simply on a different level, theologically. they've added horny shrimp colours to the religious spectrum. who else does it like them
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Ya’ll I used to jokingly consider this, but nah, there is enough evidence in the book to suggest:
Henry ruins Dorian out of spite and jealousy towards Basil for moving on from him.
Let’s get right into this.
I went back into the book because I wanted to review the post I made about Henry and misogyny earlier. Besides the usual annoyance at Henry’s dumb stupid rant, I noticed this line:
“I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.”
And then it hit me that Henry’s worst rants about women only come after the topic of marriage, but more specifically, commitment. Which then led to an even more interesting idea: I’m pretty sure Henry mostly uses ‘women’ as cover to complain about Basil and Basil’s ‘lack of commitment to him.’
I want to note that there’s a lot of interesting things in regards to Henry and his relationship with women that I’d love to go into, but this will focus solely on him and Basil.
Here’s what Henry says in his misogynistic ass rant after Sibyl dies. (This is from the 1891 ver):
“But [Sibyl] would have soon found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her. And when a woman finds that out about her husband, she either becomes dreadfully dowdy, or wears very smart bonnets that some other woman’s husband has to pay for.”
Basil is often considered ‘unfashionable’/‘dowdy’ by Henry’s standards. This is only further proven in what he says about Basil’s disappearance:
“Why should he have been murdered? He was not clever enough to have enemies. Of course, he had a wonderful genius for painting. But a man can paint like Velasquez and yet be as dull as possible. Basil was really rather dull. He only interested me once, and that was when he told me, years ago, that he had a wild adoration for you and that you were the dominant motive of his art.”
But that isn’t all. The last part of that quote matches one to one to Henry’s claim about women (or Sibyl, specifically). Basil was not only ‘dull’, but his only ‘fashionable’ attribute, his art, grew ‘dowdy’ once he discovered Dorian’s indifference to him.
Henry also says this about women:
“Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely nil.”
And later:
“But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is entirely over, they propose to continue it. If they were allowed their own way, every comedy would have a tragic ending, and every tragedy would culminate in a farce. They are charmingly artificial, but they have no sense of art.”
Guess who makes resolutions regarding goodness? Basil, who refuses to believe that Dorian is nothing but a good, pure man.
“[Basil] could not bear the idea of reproaching [Dorian] any more. After all, his indifference was probably merely a mood that would pass away. There was so much in him that was good, so much in him that was noble.”
Basil’s arc traditionally should have ended once Dorian rejects him. Between that chapter and the chapter where Basil dies, there is no mention of Basil in any form. By all means, Basil’s role in the story is over—and then he demands the ‘sixth act’ to confront Dorian.
And finally:
“Besides, nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all. Yes; there is really no end to the consolations that women find in modern life. Indeed, I have not mentioned the most important one.”
“What is that, Harry?” said the lad listlessly.
“Oh, the obvious consolation. Taking some one else’s admirer when one loses one’s own.”
Now before I point out the obvious irony of Henry literally 'taking someone else's admirer' (henry actually has a lot in common with his 'criticisms' of women), I want to bring your attention to a key part we don’t discuss enough about in the book.
““Life has always poppies in her hands. Of course, now and then things linger. I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form of artistic mourning for a romance that would not die. Ultimately, however, it did die. I forget what killed it. I think it was her proposing to sacrifice the whole world for me. That is always a dreadful moment. It fills one with the terror of eternity. Well—would you believe it?—a week ago, at Lady Hampshire’s, I found myself seated at dinner next the lady in question, and she insisted on going over the whole thing again, and digging up the past, and raking up the future. I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.”
So I’m gonna make an educated guess and say Henry is lying his ass off here. He did not have a ‘romance’ with a woman. He certainly did not get an emotional, romantic attachment with a ‘woman’. I feel comfortable saying this because 1) his general distaste for women literally points to this being bullshit and 2) a significant change that was made from the 1890 version of the book to the 1891 version.
This is the quote in 1890:
“I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as mourning for a romance that would not die.”
This is 1891:
“I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form of artistic mourning for a romance that would not die.”
Well, well, well, who is the arti—It’s Basil. He’s literally talking about Basil here. AND GUESS WHAT VIOLETS MEAN IN VICTORIAN FLOWER LANGUAGE?
A couple of things actually, but the top three are:
‘Faithfulness, Modesty, and Love.’
Henry emotionally had been faithful to Basil. While I doubt he was monogamous in anyway, Basil held a special place that no else would ever have. Not even Dorian.
And this brings me back to the quote that originally sent me down this rabbit hole:
“I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.”
In the 1890 version, it says:
“I had buried my romance in a bed of poppies.”
Poppies are known to mean death and would have fit perfectly if Henry was saying he felt nothing for the relationship, but what does asphodel mean?
‘Love Beyond The Grave’, ‘Remembered Beyond The Tomb’ and sometimes, ‘My regrets follow you to the grave’.
(NOTE: please keep in mind floriography could mean certain things based on the color and the type of flowers. That being said, considering Wilde described the shit out of every setting he wrote, the lack of detail about the flowers suggest the most broad meaning is meant to be taken.)
Henry isn't over Basil. He couldn't kill the love, so he buried it and took Dorian as a consolation and revenge. He will never be able to get over Basil until Basil or himself dies.
BOY DO I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR HENRY/s
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