#honestly I think the breakup will be good for Crowley - I hope he gets to experience Aziraphale fighting for him

[ineffectualbookseller]

It just really GRINDS MY GEARS the way Crowley is keeping so much from Aziraphale this season but also I TOTALLY understand why he's doing it

The thing is we saw Aziraphale keep a huge secret from Crowley in season 1 after he got his hands on the Nice and Accurate Prophecies and went to heaven with the information about Adam rather than telling Crowley, but then we saw him grow from that mistake. He realized how wrong a decision that was and that's why he's SO committed to them working as a team in season 2. The way he immediately goes to Crowley when Gabriel shows up and keeps him updated whenever he talks to heaven and even calls from Edinburgh to tell him about the new Clue (and maybe to brag a little because he's feeling proud)

and YEAH Aziraphale lies. I'm not saying he doesn't. He's a liar. Lies to himself, to heaven, to hell, to god's face, and sometimes to Crowley. But in my opinion, the biggest lie he tells Crowley about the occult/ethereal goings-on this season is not telling him about Shax on the drive back to Edinburgh. And I think the reason he doesn't is the same reason he's SO nervous to tell him about Gabriel at first; he's afraid Crowley will overreact - will totally freak out when he realizes Aziraphale is being threatened. Which is, frankly, justified. He would.

But then Crowley is over here lying about SO MUCH all season. And some of the lies are about his own pride (i.e. not telling his self-described bestie that he has been UNHOUSED for YEARS during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC) but mostly he does it because he thinks it is protecting Aziraphale. Because he is so obsessed with saving Aziraphale.

Everyone knows it - Demons are using threats against Aziraphale as a way to intimidate Crowley all over the shop (a good tactic tbf, far more effective than threatening Crowley himself), and Aziraphale openly speaks it.

But the actual reason he does it is because he's so concerned about proving his worth to Aziraphale. We know Crowley has self-esteem issues. He's all smoke and mirrors - not a man (nb) just a flashy jacket wrapped around a bundle of insecurities and anxieties. He still thinks he needs to prove himself to Aziraphale, that he needs to make himself worthy of his partnership. He cognitively knows they should be equals, a team of the two of them on their own side, but he just can't shake the notion that Aziaphale needs a reason to fraternize with a demon.

And of course, Aziraphale doesn't. He loves Crowley as he is and sees just as much worth in the small acts of bringing him chocolates at the bookshop opening or clearing them a table at the Ritz. True, he does love that Crowley loves saving him, but not because he actually needs it, because it's part of the flirty game they play. But he's not honest enough to tell Crowley as much clearly (not that speaking it would solve Crowley's self-worth issues).

The thing is, "Saving me makes him so happy" is so much cuter when you're fully PRETENDING to be stuck in the Bastille and don't know any other way of asking your crush out on a lunch date. Because now the forces of heaven and hell are knocking on THEIR bookshop door and all they have is each other but Crowley hasn't been honest with Aziraphale about the seriousness of this threat and Aziraphale didn't warn him about Shax BECAUSE he knew he would be overprotective. Crowley needs so badly to be the hero he's undermined their power as a team.

And that's the dramatic irony of it all. As an audience, it is spelled out so clearly for us that they are at their best, their most powerful, as a team. They are a whole greater than the sum of its parts. The fact of Crowley's incessant need to prove himself, to be the hero, to "protect" Aziraphale from all this information that he has been choosing to lie about all season - it's just making them weaker.

TLDR; Crowley is lying to Aziraphale to keep him safe because he still feels like he needs to prove himself to be worthy of Aziraphale's partnership but this makes it impossible for them to truly work as a team and is hurting them both

#Im always thinking about how Crowley idolizes James Bond in the book #he wants to be Aziraphale's hero so badly #Good Omens #good omens meta #Crowley #And the thing is Aziaphale could absolutely do more to dispell this type of thinking by being more honest about his feelings #but the words of your partner cannot fix your deepseeded problems and insecuries - thats not healthy or sustainable #honestly I think the breakup will be good for Crowley - I hope he gets to experience Aziraphale fighting for him #even when Crowley is offering nothing in return #and it will help start his healing process #Good omens 2 #gos2 spoilers #ineffable husbands

[actual-changeling]

if god did not want me to over-analyse a two second video clip she would not have given me video editing software, so welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner with me, alex, as your host.

we're going off the deep end with this one.

let's have a look at a. well, you cannot really call it a scene at this point. more of a collection of frames - aziraphale's face right after crowley leaves but before the bell above the door rings. this has been on my list of metas to write anyway, but someone kindly pointed it out which gave me incentive to make this post.

now, my leading theory is that much like his mouth movement before saying "i forgive you", which looked and sounded a lot like the beginning of "i love you", aziraphale is mouthing a silent "don't". presumably, the complete sentence would have been "don't leave".

first things first, why do i think he would say it? well, if you look back at their breakup in the park in season one, aziraphale calls him back when he says he will leave.

"you can't leave, crowley, there isn't anywhere to go".

then, after the fucking mess that is "nothing lasts forever", aziraphale also calls out. "come back". it is also perfectly in line with his previous behaviour to try and keep crowley from leaving again. especially because he almost tells the metatron he will stay just a few minutes later.

some other important things to keep in mind: aziraphale is shaking and about to cry, and also probably still in shock. so his face is doing a number of things and any words he may or may not mouth are slightly skewed due to that.

the first few frames are him taking a breath, so far so good.

this is the part where it looks like he is about to say something and silently begins to mouth don't. if you pay very close attention to his lips, you can see that they get pushed forward just a little bit as one does when saying "do".

you can try it yourself to confirm, i certainly did several times while rewatching the same two seconds like an absolutely sane person.

the last few frames are him closing his mouth again and breaking off whatever he was going to say, but in my opinion, you can still see the ending of that "don't".

alex, you might ask, how do you know that's what he was trying to say? i don't, although i hope once the strike ends someone will ask michael sheen some much needed questions. however, i wouldn't be a scientist if i didn't have evidence to present nevertheless.

i compared two of the frames from above, one from the "do" part and one from the "nt" part with another instance of michael/aziraphale saying "don't" - "i don't think you understand what i'm offering you".

the mouth shape and the movement of his facial muscles looks very similar even taking the whole sobbing and crying business into account.

interestingly enough, once the bell does ring, signaling that crowley has left the store, he not only closes his mouth but also physically steps back even more. he almost says "don't leave", restrains himself by physically pulling back, and then inches even farther from the door.

that is also when his face shifts from completely openly heartbroken to angry/spiteful and heartbroken.

the camera angle changes a little bit but not enough to explain the discrepancy, so yes, he steps backward before turning away and touching his lips. that pillar is honestly a very helpful point of reference. also completely unrelated but the face he makes at the end cracks me up it is LITERALLY >:(

to summarize: someone get michael sheen on the fucking phone before i lose my mind. also you can pry this meta from my dead, cold hands, he almost said "don't leave" and i will die on this hill.

lastly, said two second clip at half speed if you want to have a look for yourself.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #good omens meta #every time i write a post like this i imagine myself as the red string meme dude #i have CONNECTED THE DOTS too

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! I very much love this blog, it is an absolute delight. I couldn't find it in the masterpost - but this might just be me misreading it! - but do you have a tag for flower shop AUs? Wishing you all the best!

Hello! We have #florist crowley and #florist au tags, and you might also be interested in our #crowley's plants tag. Here are some more florist fics...

Honeysuckle and White Jasmine by Dannye Chase (E)

While on a bad blind date at a coffee shop, bookshop owner Aziraphale meets a gorgeous red-haired barista. Also Aziraphale knows flower language and he's not afraid to use it.

So now Aziraphale was going on a date with someone Tracy knew. Since Tracy had arranged it, Aziraphale let her pick the place as well: Double Double, a new coffee shop. Tracy had promised that the shop was lovely and had a selection of rich desserts, which was honestly the part that had convinced Aziraphale.

Aziraphale’s one bit of defiance was the flowers. He had a book or two in his shop on flower language, and he’d decided that the bouquet was going to be the sweetener for the day (besides the dessert), the spoonful of sugar that helped the medicine go down.

Yellow carnations: Disdain, disappointment, rejection. Red snapdragon: Deception. Purple columbine: foolishness. White candytuft: indifference. And finally butterfly weed, a bright little orange cluster flower, which meant Let me go!

Armed with his passive-aggressive (but quite lovely smelling) bouquet, Aziraphale took a cab to Double Double.

Flowers Are Better Than People (Angel Don't You Think That's True?) by MJ_Spooks (T)

He liked plants more than people, hence his decision to become a florist, and if he liked something, he was utterly incapable of not obsessing over it. When he committed to the study of something, he committed wholeheartedly.

So, naturally, he was well-versed in The Language of Flowers.

And, looking over his notes, it almost made sense. Almost. There was, in fact, a pattern, between what Mr. Ezra Fell liked, and did not like.

The thing was, if the pattern was in fact there, and wasn’t just some insane coincidence, then Mr. Ezra Fell was more than a little bit of a bastard.

Tea For Two by ICanSingNoRequiem (T)

Aziraphale is living his life in London's Soho District when he's summoned to the sleepy town of Eden to settle the affairs of his recently deceased childhood friends.

Second Chance at a First Try by Fallinfromgrace (E)

Aziraphale is happy in the life he’s living. He has his books and his shop, and his cocoa, what more could he want? Until one day a small boy hides in his shop, his eye bruised and his hope shattered. His eyes are hauntingly familiar but Aziraphale knows he’s never met this small boy before.

It doesn’t take long to unravel the mystery of why the boy is there. And when his father shows up, looking for him, bruised and bloody Aziraphale realizes what he recognized in the small boys eyes. Now his life will never be the same, and perhaps that’s good?

A Study Of Rose Petals and Ink Stains by teardrops_on_ghostly_wings (M)

After a painful breakup Crowley goes to the tattoo shop down the road from his flower shop to get a bad breakup tattoo but instead meets tattoo artist Az who talks him down from his terrible idea and helps him start to heal.

where dwells the breath of all persisting stars by grayscaleTestimony & ranichi17 & temporalSilence (T)

They still meet, whatever the universe.

Or, a florist, a bookseller, and a chance meeting in the rain.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #florist crowley #florist au #human au #mod d

[daughter-of-melpomene]

I heard you'd like some asks? What about 7, 19, 23, 40, 51, 63, 79 and 90 from your Spotify Wrapped for the OC association thingy? Giving you lots of numbers to think about, hope that's what you're looking for. Get well soon <3

Evie, I know I say this pretty regularly, but I absolutely love you, thank you so much for this!! <3

So, number seven on my Spotify Wrapped is "You Should Probably Leave" by Chris Stapleton, and I definitely associate this with Wyatt Friedman and his relationship with Kelly Severide during their hookup phase! The repressed longing in the lyrics, the wanting to push the other person away a bit so you don't catch feelings but also wanting them to stay with you... it all just screams this phase of Wyatt and Severide's relationship to me!

Number nineteen is "Wendy" by Maisie Peters, and to me this song is definitely one of my new Ted Lasso babies, Day Harvington! For most of her romantic relationships before falling in love with Roy and Keeley, Day has been content to just stay in the background and let her partner be the main character in their story, even when it meant she just wound up getting hurt. After her most recent breakup before her story starts and she and her two friends move to Richmond, though, she makes a promise to herself that she is never going to play a background character in her love story again, if she ever manages to fall in love again, and I think this song is a really good showcase of that.

Number twenty-three is "Somebody To Love" by Queen, and you just know I have to give this to my Good Omens girl Luci Evans! Not only is Queen's music a big part of Good Omens and therefore part of Luci's story, but she's a pretty big fan of the band herself, and "Somebody To Love" is definitely one of her favorite songs from them.

Number forty is "First Burn" by Ari Afsar, and while this one was a little bit harder to figure out, I think I'll have to give this one to Ivy Kekoa, seeing as she's my resident show tunes girl! I can definitely see her singing this with some of the other Glee girls when she first finds out Sam has sort-of kind-of cheated on her by kissing Quinn, because even though they're not married and this isn't even on the scale of Alexander Hamilton's cheating she is just that dramatic. She would definitely sound amazing singing it, though!

Number fifty-one is "Cell Block Tango" from the musical Chicago, and honestly I'm going to have to give this one to my boy Will Welton, purely because I think it would be funny if he convinced Rebecca and Keeley to join him in a performance of this number to try and help Rebecca get over her feelings about Rupert.

Number sixty-three is "ocean eyes" by Billie Eilish, and I definitely associate this with Ivana Morozova and her reluctance to fall in love with Dick Grayson! Dick really does have those beautiful blue eyes, and as much as Ivana would like to resist them and resist falling for him (for many reasons, not the least of which being that the whole reason she came to Gotham was that she was sent there to kill his brother), she always winds up staring deeply into those ocean eyes and getting herself even further in!

Number seventy-nine is "Born This Way" by the Glee Cast, and maybe this is cheating, but I'm gonna go ahead and say my girl Bailey Taylor for this one! This would definitely be one of her favorite performances with the New Directions, and it's also a song she resonates with, having struggled with her sexuality and self-worth before. So on top of being a fun song to sing, it's really helped her and made her feel good about herself!

And finally, number ninety is another Queen song, "Another One Bites the Dust," and I figured we'd stick to the Good Omens OCs theme and go with Zazzadon! I can totally picture this being her intro song the first time she struts up to Earth to help out Aziraphale and Crowley, and it would definitely be playing during the fight in Aziraphale's bookshop in season two while she tries to keep Muriel safe and kick the asses of the lesser demons who are part of the raiding party!

send me a number 1-100 and I’ll tell you the song it corresponds with on my top 100 spotify wrapped playlist, and the oc/ship it reminds me of!!

#asks about my ocs #ship: sevman #oc: wyatt friedman #oc: day harvington #oc: luci evans #oc: ivy kekoa #oc: will welton #ship: nightwhisper #oc: ivana morozova #oc: bailey taylor #oc: zazzadon

[mikkythehamster]

GOOD OMENS 2 SPOILER RANT

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED by church crowley ! (ALSO JFC PEOPLE THE SHOW CAME NOT EVEN A WEEK AGO AND UR FILLING THE INTERNET WITH SPOILERS LET PEOPLE SEE THINGS AT THEIR OWN PACE I HATE YOU ALL)

I can't stand people saying the "breakup" between crowley and azi was out of nowhere or that is was badly done. BITCH they are the living proof that gays be having breakups without even dating. I LOVE IT! i think it's perfect, neither of them have expressed directly what they want and sure you can say "what about the kiss", well crowley only kissed azi when he was surely to depart, that seems like a desperate declaration rather than a good hearted developed confession and discussion about love. It would have been very cheap if they just solved all their issues with one kiss.

Besides come on, you have been swallowing heterosexual misunderstanding/breakup stories for years and now the gays do it and it's suddenly wrong? shut up. Besides clearly metaton had something to do with azi's mood change, many people have pointed out that metaton can influence people's minds, control and also AZI DOESN'T DRINK COFFEE! and you could say he accepted due to fear of metaton but what if he was counting on that and put something in his coffee? in the scene before the elevator we hear a miracle queue sound and suddenly azi's face change. Other theories point out to OMELAS (oat meal latter with almond syrup) "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas"  is a 1973 short work of philosophical fiction by American writer Ursula K. Le Guin. With deliberately both vague and vivid descriptions, the narrator depicts a summer festival in the utopian city of Omelas, whose prosperity depends on the perpetual misery of a single child. <-. tho i must admit this was very obscure lmao

Azi was heavily promoted with TEA! i feel it was a weird thing he just accepted coffee like that and how much emphasis they put on the coffee

So idk i feel it was all too in the nose to be just a coincidence personally. BESIDES neil said that this was always had planned to be more than just 2 seasons so honestly if it ended here it would have been shit, like oh just a kiss and its done? NO FUCK THAT. we didn't watch centuries of mutual pinning for it to just suddenly get together like that NO SIR. that would be boring as shit, there is so much more to develop and i am happy with how things ended, i am a sucker for hurt comfort so the next season will truly reveal if i am happy with the story or not cuz so far i am very happy.

idk why you all mad idk man you want fiction to be boring and predictable or characters to not have growth. CROWLEY finally did the first step now they need to develop that romanticism , that human love. they must otherwise its just cheap and easy. Azi didn't say "you move too fast for me crowley" for you to want him marrying him after 1 desperate kiss god damn. anyway i love aziraphale stop slandering him, why do you think this was out of character for him? THIS IS SO IC FOR HIM! (i am only a series watcher i haven't read the book so i will base him off that only). Aziraphale has always had issues verbalizing feelings,needs and understanding underlying wants. What me and my friend call the angelic autism of aziraphale. He won't sit there and take a "there is no nightingales" as a sign that he hurt crowleys feelings and neither can he say i love you too so instead he says i forgive you. It was perfectly in character for him to do and react the way he did. I love them i am very happy personally i am just sad we have to wait so long for another season because ofc you must respect the writers and actors strike and production takes long anyway.

-- edit

if there is one complain i have is that i wanted to see more of beelzebub and gabriel i hope s3 gives us more of them because that i felt it was too quickly resolved i need more.

#good omens 2 spoilers

[t1gerlilly]

So I watched season one and season two back to back.

My general take on the writing was: meh. But that’s actually high praise from me, since I came to it as a Terry Pratchett fan who bought and loved the original book when it was first published.

I have so many friends who love Neil Gaman’s writing and have recommended it to me for decades. I’ve tried to read American Gods three times. The only thing I remember is the giant ball of yarn, which is the point I’ve given up every time. I did finish another of his books, but just…didn’t like it. Lovely descriptions, but just no characters I was interested in. I haven’t even managed to make it through the TV versions. I quit Sandman after twenty minutes, at the point that everyone that wasn’t an unpleasant white man was dead. I mean, honestly, I work in tech - if you swing a cat, you’ll hit a white guy who thinks he’s nearly supernatural . It’s too workaday to be entertaining.

So I’m pleased I managed to make it through Good Omens 2 with no complaints about the writing - though I dearly miss Terry’s trademark humor and whimsy.

The reason I’d call it ‘meh’ is probably the same reason I got through it at all. It seemed very much like standard ‘processing a breakup’ fic. The kind of thing you write and you think it’s about something else entirely and then in five years you come back to it and it was CLEARLY you working through your feelings about a breakup unconsciously. And there were real feelings there - which is why I stuck with it. Most of Neil’s writing is too cerebral for me - without the weight and heat of heart. But that’s also why it was just ‘meh’. It was the unexamined heart - a writer is never firing on all cylinders when their head and their heart are working at cross-purposes. It had that feel of stop and start, explosion and silence, that you feel when first learning to drive stick - the unpleasant impact of lack of control or finesse…everything is too raw.

It felt like someone writing about the death of an unconventional relationship. I didn’t mind the ending. There was truth and nuance there, however bitter. Though I’m sick to death of seeing queer love revealed and rejected in the same scene, in ambiguous terms that make it worthy only of hell and damnation, a violating sin revealed by necessity and pushed on an unwitting protagonist. That wasn’t necessary. It was wrong; a sadness.

I will say that it makes my enduring wish for Michael Sheen to record an audiobook of Dylan Thomas’s poetry rather intense. Because his performance was frankly mesmerizing. It was like live theater, when there are moments when you can feel the whole audience holding their breath. When it feels like the actor is holding the audience in their hands, because everyone is so focused and attuned to their voice, their expressions - to the moment. Just really, really amazing.

Einstein has a quote I love “You wouldn’t think it genius if you knew how much work went into it”. And I can’t help but wonder if he was perfectly cast for the role - charming, sweet-hearted chaos agent of a man that he is. Or if he simply is a master of his craft and just put in a tremendous amount of work. I tend to suspect a bit of both.

He just OWNED this role - gave it life and complexity.

David Tennant is a wonderful actor generally, but I’ve seen him do much better work. He seemed lost inside the role - disappearing into the costume and not quite hitting the emotional beats. Like a good singer on a bad night who’s just not quite hitting his notes the way he can. Still good, even amazing, but not the crowd stopper he can be. The one exception being his turn as Crowley as an angel at the beginning. That was just lovely.

Though if you were going to get lost inside a costume- WHAT a costume. Most of what I love about Crowley is his style. His ‘40s suits are sharp enough to cut.

So - nothing really to complain about - but I really hope they don’t leave it here, as it’s quite depressing if left as is.

#good omens #good omens 2 #this is just how I feel about it #doesn’t mean I’m right #feel free to disagree #and yes I’m a bit ambivalent #other than where Michael sheen is concerned because he’s a marvel #and the costume department is AMAZING

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: The Rupture (15x03)

Well... damn?

Cons:

In the first two reviews of this season, I talked a lot about how this season was going to lean really hard into the nostalgia. I had high hopes about the return of some of these characters, and while I did really like this episode, I'm getting a bit concerned. Last week, Kevin showed up only to immediately leave again. This week, after Ketch's close call last week, he's killed off, Rowena dies, and then Belphegor also bites the dust. So a lot of stuff that was just getting set up is suddenly off the table. On the one hand, I like it when things are unpredictable and move at a quick pace. On the other hand, this feels a bit too familiar to me. Supernatural has a pattern. The first three episodes are all A-plot focused, and then we've got to ratchet back the tension so we can do some monster-of-the-week stuff. That's fine, that's expected. But we've already rushed through so many of the things I thought this season was going to focus on, and I have a feeling that the tension and drama is going to drop off. We've only got seventeen precious episodes left! I don't know if it was Rowena or Belphegor or even Ketch's time to go just yet.

Yo... Dean wicked needs to apologize to Cas. That was rough stuff. I loved the angst, don't get me wrong, but I hope Dean is held responsible for his actions. I hope we get a real in-depth look at Dean's anger issues and he realizes that he's the one in the wrong here. This isn't so much a problem with the episode as it is a worry for the future - I hope they do this plot thread justice.

And for my one and only petty complaint - it bothers me that they insist on sticking to their guns with the stupid idea of spelling Castiel's name "Cass." Like... stop. It's wrong. We all know it's wrong.

Pros:

Ketch gets this totally depressing yet oddly bad-ass death where he refuses to turn on the Winchesters even when facing down death. There's a part of me that wants to say it doesn't really matter, because he's done so many terrible things to the boys that this act of sacrifice doesn't redeem him. But maybe redemption isn't the point. Crowley and Rowena both also died to help the Winchesters, and that doesn't erase the harm they've done over the years, but it does show that they're capable of change. If Supernatural has a single unifying thesis statement, it's all about free will. And that means that Sam and Dean fight to make their own choices. But it also means that people don't fit into prescribed roles. Villains can do heroic things, heroes can do villainous things. Ketch can't erase his evil past, but he can do what he can to help the people he believes in, here at the end. I was oddly touched by his loyalty, there in his final moments.

Belphegor... honestly, I wasn't quite ready to say goodbye to him. He was a lot of fun. We got that teaser at the end of Season Fourteen showing Jack with Billie, so we can assume that Alex Calvert isn't gone-gone. But honestly, while I was a little sad to say goodbye to such a fun character so quickly, this was the one subversion of my expectations that I ultimately think was a very smart move. If Belphegor had stuck around, he would have felt like Crowley 2.0 in all the bad ways, instead of just the good ones. By that I mean that he would have been a kind-of-sort-of adversary who would hang around in the background and be available whenever he was needed, to conveniently provide a power-up to a Winchester in need. All of the fun and snark gets sucked out of a character like that pretty quickly, the moment you realize they're not a real threat. This way, we see that he was playing nice for a specific and nearly-achievable goal. Cas stops him, and the price is Rowena's life, and there it ends. That was pretty satisfying.

Rowena. I wish we could have had more time with her. But if she had to die, what a way to go. I mean, I'd be remiss if I did not point out how annoying it is to lose one of the few female characters still remaining on this show. It's annoying. But so many women have died in a way that can only be classified as being "fridged." And this was not that. Yes, Sam is going to have his "man pain" over Rowena's death or whatever, but she made a choice. She sacrificed herself, going against a lifetime of selfishness and an imperative desire to live no matter the cost. And the fact that it had to be at Sam's hands was just the perfect amount of heartbreak.

I seriously adore the way they portrayed Sam and Rowena's relationship. It's not textually romantic, but... it could have been. And there's an open acknowledgment of that. Sam hasn't experienced a lot of tender affection in his life, and you can see from his behavior with any and all of his love interests over the years that it's something he really craves. Rowena was genuinely kind to him, in her own strange way, and that's something Sam is going to miss terribly. It's strange, because on paper this scene plays in to so many story-telling cliches. A man forced to kill his girlfriend for the greater good. But Rowena wasn't Sam's girlfriend. She wasn't there just to be a female character for him to cry over. She was a fully realized character and the decision that she and Sam came together to make was one of great sacrifice and integrity. Rowena was a fantastic and surprising character on this show. She came to mean more to me than I would have expected, and if she had to go, then this was a pretty bad-ass way for it to happen.

We had a nice little moment of Dean checking up on Sam. I like that once again there isn't anything explicit being said here - Dean doesn't say "I know you were kind of maybe in love with her a little bit, so sorry man." He doesn't have to say that. It's implied, and Sam knows that Dean knows, and maybe that's enough. It was a nice little understated moment.

As much as my heart broke for Sam here, let's end this review with the Destiel breakup. Because holy moly oh my God. As I said, I'm not about to get my hopes up about anything like a real reciprocal confirmation. But what they're giving us is just... everything I never knew I needed. There have been plenty of legitimate criticisms over the years that Cas will do anything in the world for Dean, and that Dean doesn't appreciate it, and treats him like a tool to use to solve all of his problems. In this moment, Cas is at the end of his rope. He did his best, but he's grieving for Jack, and his powers aren't working, and Dean doesn't have the time or the inclination to listen to anything he has to say. No wonder he's fed up, no wonder he's heartbroken. No wonder he leaves. I can't wait for Dean to make amends for this. I can't wait for Sam to take him to task for pushing away their best friend.

Everything about the scene - Misha's performance in particular - was just so achingly tragic. It was a break-up. It was Cas saying that for his own mental well-being, he needed to break up with his toxic boyfriend. They even played the sad Supernatural theme as Cas walked away. And I think it's telling that the episode ends on that note. You could have flipped the final two scenes - had Cas leave dramatically, and then end with Dean comforting Sam, telling him that they've succeeded, and commiserating about Rowena. But no - the final beat is Dean standing there, as the camera pulls away and shows him alone in the bunker, with Castiel walking away from him. Jensen's performance was great as well. He's so angry with Cas, and so unwilling to bend. But maybe this will be the moment that he realizes that he takes Cas for granted. That he expects him to always do what Dean says, and be there when he's wanted. I just adore the fact that here, in the final season of this show, the problems in Dean and Cas' relationship are getting a real focus. Even if it doesn't go as far as I would ideally like, it will still be so much fun to explore!

And that's that. What a sad episode of Supernatural! It got me feeling all sorts of feelings, let me tell ya. And my complaints were actually not about this episode in isolation, more about my worries for the middle section of this season. So for that reason, this is getting a pretty high score!

9/10

#review #supernatural #supernatural review #spn #spn 15x03

[rpg-queen]

So in the trailer for Good Omens the moment we now think of as “the bandstand breakup” is edited to appear comedic and this is emphasized by the upbeat melody of “Under Pressure” playing beneath it. Clearly the actual tone of the scene is much different than in the trailer and it got me thinking about how much the score added to the show, and perhaps that some very deliberate music choices were made.

Firstly, I completely adore Michael Sheen’s decision to have Aziraphale fall in love with Crowley in the Germany flashback. And this moment is perfectly accentuated with an upsweep of romantic violin - full of longing and hope. I read in another post that the composer added this specific music cue because of Michael’s acting and I love that he was so willing to emphasize the romantic intentions of the scene.

I was ecstatic to then realize that the music that underscores the bandstand breakup is the exact same melody, but much more sombre and dark. It no longer has the positive upbeat of the possibility of something beginning, but rather a note of finality as Aziraphale refuses Crowley’s offer of running away together. 

The next scene of significance is the reunion between Crowley and Aziraphale’s discorporated form. This scene begins with light and tentative piano music as the pair reconnect and slowly navigate coming together again. At the discovery of the book being saved the music swells and becomes more resolute and confident as they begin to plan how to save the world they love together. This theme is honestly so sweet and genuine that I struggle to listen to it without getting emotional. It manages to speak volumes of the fragility of their relationship in this moment, but also of the hope they have that everything will work out once they reunite for good.

The final moment was the scene where Crowley and Aziraphale wait for the bus. David Tennant’s acting in this scene is extremely tender and this is only heightened by the music. Somewhat tremulous and wavering, it speaks to the uncertainty of their future, but still has something uniquely hopeful in it.

Anyway am I definitely not an expert on musical analysis, I just have a lot of feelings about how the score really made a point to highlight the complexity and depth of Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship throughout the show.

Also David Arnold is an extremely smart man who knows a love story when he sees one, and chose to score it appropriately.

**Quick honourable mention to “Somebody to Love” playing as Crowley exits the flaming book shop. It’s not part of the score, but it was an extremely sexy and romantic choice nonetheless.

***The songs I’m specifically referencing are “We're Not Killing Anybody”, “Is That You?”, and “Life After Death”. I unfortunately can’t find the ‘Aziraphale falling in love’ song on the official soundtrack so it might have just been a musical cue, not a full song.

#sorry if this makes no sense #i've been thinking about this the last few days and needed to get it out of my system #unintelligible rambling #good omens #good omens tv #ineffable husbands #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #michael sheen #david tennant #my post

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 6X21 Let it Bleed

whelp let's see what happens

oh it's chuck isn't it

oh it's not

it's the past

oh this man is dead

and this is why we don't live alone

LOVECRAFT??

that is 100% not how howard Phillip Todd Screwdriver lovecraft died

DEAN'S SAD AFTER THE BREAKUP ASAPIFDJAS

Moishe

"or read the copy I had already made"

"hi, bobby singer, paranoid bastard, nice to meet you"

oh nice I love that

HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO HP LOVECRAFT IS

Who wrote this

ah sera gamble

man she's a good writer but she doesn't like Dean and it SHOWS

Take Lisa and Ben and kill her bf

man Lisa does NO deserve this

Dean went Dad Mode SO QUICK

This scene HURTS ME

SHIT IT'S CROWLEY

ah shit mans is spiraling

is...Crowley hitting on him

to be fair, Crowley at least understands when somethings a threat

oho RITUALLL

FUCKING BALTHAZARRRRR

I LOVE HIMM

his face??

he's bluffing

Balthazar is all they had huh

Isn't...HP lovecraft...taught in schools?

what?

mans is a fan

any lovecraft fan is Red Flags

the other guy?

CASSS WAS HERE!

THAT EXPLANATION WAS SO FUNNY

the trench coat really does help as a descriptor

ahaha "it's never friendly...I imagine"

ah so it must have worked

Cas took them

Angel powers and No Morals is...heh

they summoned and then it killed them

mental ward, that's comforting

the dual angle is fun though

"we're making a few inquiries" *GRUFF SCREAMS*

shit hell did a number on him huh

whiskey and coffee DEN NO

yeah he's taking this how you'd expect

Sam calls Cas huh

oh he's THERE BUT NO ONE SEES HIM OH MPGIDFAPIFA

I love the invisible thing it hurts so bad

Crowley...

Crowley they're actively looking for you

Crowley this didn't work

call on the bat phone huh?

BalthaZARRRRR

YA BOI

they placed him taller

...oh he sucks up the souls

ah

godstiel

aw he's grumps

"That won't happen"

well he picked up ultimatums from dean at least

Cas has been there too

"do you believe in monsters" "yeah" OOO

ah possessed his mom

first person who believed him :(

SHIT DEAN THE DEMON TRAP

the man is running on f u m e s

cAS?S?

he has a point, Dean cannot trust for SHIT

and he HAS earned the trust

come on Dean, you do have to

D E A N

I hate you

ah the professor

of course Bobby dated her

o H SHIT IT'S THE BOY'S MOM

900 YEARS?

aHH

THE SETUP

ah he's also mad because he slept with her

she wants purgatory closed Neat

I changed my mind I LOVE HER

EVEN MORE

"drinking your feelings Sam" BALTHYYYY

BALTHAZAR WINCHESTER TEAM UP

"I'm officially on your team...you bastards"

yeah cas and crowley...do not trust each other

BALTHYYYYY

whoopsie sam

sjskss

the thudding noises

jesus christ Dean

hey

hey remember the exorcism you used in season 1

DO YOU REMEM-

jeez she does know how to pick her insults

shit she used herself as leverage

female bodies in supernatural are

glass in mouth yum

...dean is...out of character I think

everything else is ok?

HE WOULD NOT HIT KID

that is a lot of blood

she'll be dead by midnight? :(

"she'll wake soon" SHe-S FUCKING INTUBATED

DEAN

Boy this is not how relationships should work

both of them are SHIT at this

ah amnesia

"lost control" uh

at least he still gets to apologize

man the struggle to smile HURTS

boy he has had a SHIT few days

and now he will no longer be talking about feelings

boy he looks miserable

honestly it...bodily autonomy but also...idk

they need to be Out

dammit Cas

ok so

1. Dean and Cas are like. both are exhibiting unhealthy behaviors and the other is too shit at people to figure out that what they're doing is fucked.

2. Female bodily autonomy and lack thereof is like...a running theme here, I'm sure you could track it.

3. Sera Gamble wrote Dean out of character. Just slightly, but it's there.

4. I fucking love balthazar

5. I fcuking love Bobby

6. I love the monster professor lady literally so much more now she's SO COOL

7. I hope Lisa and Ben are safe, and yes overwriting her memories is a shit thing to do, but also getting her killed is a shit thing to do

8. None of you people know how trust works

#pawswatchesspn #6X21 Let it Bleed #My main takeaway is I would die for monster lady

[anonymouscatt]

New Years Fandom Meme

And once again, my annual New Years fandom meme, under the cut.

1. Your main fandom of the year: I'm not sure I... even... had one this year? I can't think of one thing I had extended interest in for more than a month or so. Honestly this year feels kind of like blur at the moment. I know I really enjoyed Good Omens and the Fruits Basket revival, both of which were not really on my radar until they came out and so came as something of a surprise. And then there was the two weeks during the summer where all I could think about was Detective Pikachu... and the two weeks in spring where I was majorly sick and binged all four seasons of the Flash... but something that stands out as my main focus this year? I honestly can't say.

2. Your favorite film this year: Probably Spiderman: Far From Home. It was endearing and funny and a good look at what the Marvel universe looks like after the events of Endgame (all criticisms of how quickly the world went back to normal life after half the population disappeared and returned aside). And then we panicked for a month or so when it looked like Spiderman was about to leave the MCU, but it's all okay now. I also was oddly fascinated Detective Pikachu despite not being a fan of Pokemon as a kid, likely because they hit me with one of my favorite tropes right at the very end.

3. Your favorite book this year: I barely visited the library this year, but I did do a lot of Kindle reading. The series I enjoyed the most was the Raksura books by Martha Wells (the same author who wrote the Murderbot books I loved last year). I found the world-building in these stories fascinating. It's a fantasy series that takes place on one planet(?), but there are so many different intelligent species without any one dominant culture, plus a bunch of ancient civilizations and secrets no one really understands. The main character is part of race of shapeshifting dragon-type humanoids, but he's an orphan who has never met another member of his species until adulthood, and has spent his life looking for somewhere to belong. The writing itself is actually pretty simplistic, so it's not a difficult read, and I got through all five books fairly quickly.

4. Your favorite album or song this year: I've been listening to some David Hodges lately, though I miss the bands he was involved with. Also I enjoy the salty post-breakup song "Happy" by Beth Crowley, despite never having been in a relationship.

5. Your favorite TV show this year: It's a tie between Good Omens and Fruits Basket. I wasn't even planning on watching Good Omens but then all the gifs of David Tennant started flooding my dash and I couldn't help checking it out. It was a compelling story with a fascinating relationship at its core and a lot of heart, and I'm glad I gave it a chance. Fruits Basket has been a favorite of mine since high school, so I was thrilled to see it was returning with updated animation and almost all the original English cast. Watching it was like being back with old friends. I hope they are able to complete the whole story this time!

6. Your favorite tumblr moment this year: Area 51 raid- absurd, sci-fi, humorous, and no one got hurt.

7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year: I guess Good Omens? I ended up reading the book as well after watching the miniseries and it was pretty good, although I think I prefer the TV version. Once again David Tennant is my weakness. It's probably a good thing he spends most of his time doing serious dramas and crime TV that I have no interest in, honestly.

8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year: Let's see, should it be a) the new Lion King movie, an embarrassing parody of my childhood favorite Disney film, b) the expose about the original plan for Dragon Age 4 which was Everything I Wanted but ended up getting scrapped because EA is a terrible boss and game development is hell, or c) the last movie in the "Skywalker Saga" being an absolute mess in which Palpatine came out of nowhere and I had to watch Rey kiss Kylo Ren onscreen?  Currently C hits the hardest but it's hard to say which was the biggest. Runner up: that bizarre fanficcy Target storybook where TenToo gets renamed Corin and Rose barely sees him as a person. wtf.

9. Your favorite male character of the year: My boy Kyo has returned from war with the same grumpy attitude and a newfound love of Adidas.

10. Your favorite female character of the year: My girl Tohru showing unconditional love to all her friends and making me cry like five times.  

11. Your biggest squee moment of the year:

12. Your most missed old fandom: My family had a Merlin rewatch in anticipation of the show being removed from Netflix (boooo). It was very nostalgic but also disappointing in a way? Watching all 5 seasons in a row makes it even more clear that the things that were promised in the first few seasons never actually happen- Arthur never brings magic back to Camelot and his reign as king is at best five or six years, making it hard to see why he became such a legendary character. The writers seem too afraid to shift the dynamic between Merlin and Arthur and wanted to keep to the safety of the status quo, so Arthur doesn't find out about Merlin's magic until the very final episode and the show suffers for it. What a shame.

13. Your fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to: I want to play The Outer Worlds and in fact my mom bought it for me for Christmas... only for us to realize that I can't install it on my computer because I'm not using Windows 10 and there's no way to return the digital copy. Ha. Ha. Ha.

14. Your biggest anticipation of the New Year: The new Murderbot novel comes out in spring! Also hope we will get some info- any info- on Dragon Age 4.

#this is me #new years fandom meme

[girl-in-the-library]

Discussion of sex, genitals, and literary (fanfiction) smut/erotica under the cut

I’ve wondered, for a while, why I prefer reading and writing smut between two people with penises rather than a person with a penis and a vulva or two people with vulvas. After all, I am a person with a vulva.

I’m worried that I’ve been fetishizing. I don’t think I am, but the so called male-male fantasy of cis women is hard to shake off.

But I think I’ve realized why.

I relate too much to fiction where one of the parties involved has a vulva, and it makes me uncomfortable. I’m on the asexual spectrum - I’m demisexual - and even though I consider myself sex-neutral (willing and even enjoying sex when the circumstances are right), I am uncomfortable with the feeling of arousal and the understanding that I could literally be having the kind of sex that the characters are having. I know what it feels like to have sex with a vulva and I honestly don’t like it very much (penetrative sex I don’t like. I do enjoy other sexual acts but I can still not feel great about it). It makes me uncomfortable. I get bored. It hurts. (I know it’s not supposed to but it does 98% of the time). And just...I can imagine myself in that position and I Don’t Like It.

It used to not bother me as much, when I was reading in particular InuKag and Dramione fic. It bothers me more now.

Considering my main fandom has been Yuri on Ice for over two years now, it hasn’t been a problem.

But I’m coming to some interesting feelings when reading Good Omens fic. I love Ineffable Husbands, I love Ineffable Wives, and I love everything in between. But I still find myself reading primarily fic, when it happens to be smutty, where both of the characters have penises. I respect everyone’s gender and sexuality headcanons for the two - but my gender headcanons are Aziraphale has tried on a bunch of genders and generally prefers to have a penis (when he has genitals at all) and use he/him pronouns. Crowley likes changing up his gender, prefers he/him pronouns when he’s with Aziraphale, and prefers all other people/celestial beings to use the pronouns of the gender he is presenting at the time (and Aziraphale to use those prounouns when they are in public together). Those are just my headcanons, everyone can feel free to agree or disagree.

Point is - I do occasionally read fic with Crowley (though also occasionally Aziraphale) has a vulva. And I don’t know how to feel about it. Because I still relate to it in a way that makes me uncomfortable. But in some ways it’s also because of Good Omens fic that I’ve realized that relating is why it’s making me uncomfortable, and I’m trying to work through my discomfort.

But I’m reading a fic right now where experienced!Aziraphale is gently taking virgin!Crowley through his first time. And there’s a line... “... Crowley had the sudden, terrifying realisation that he was about to come.” 

(The fic is called Fine Dining and is absolutely wonderful. I just linked to the second chapter there, make sure you go back to the first chapter. It’s hilarious and well written and sexy, regardless of my feelings on penis-vulva sex. It’s the fact that it’s sexy that’s making me struggle with my feelings.)

But anyway...I’ve had that exact feeling. That “terrifying realization that [I’m] about to come.” I’ve never had an orgasm before because (1) I don’t masturbate so I’ve never brought myself to orgasm and (2) none of my partners have been able to bring me there. With the exception of once. I had that terrifying realization and I made my partner stop. He stopped immediately, and I burst into tears. It was fucking scary. I didn’t like what I was feeling, even though it also felt really good at the same time. And even though Crowley is having a completely different reaction than I did, I’m relating really, really hard. And it’s freaking me out.

Sex is a really complicated subject for me. I don’t like feeling aroused, but I love the feeling of giving someone else sexual pleasure, and that arouses me, and then I’m uncomfortable. It’s why I like sexting, honestly, because I can bring someone to climax and pleasure without touching anyone or myself because I don’t need to. I don’t mind touching my partner, and I do physically enjoy the feeling of being touched sexually, even if mentally I am screaming against it most of the time. (I do love intimate/romantic touch - including kissing, cuddling, and skin to skin contact. Just not so much the sexual touch.) 

I’m still trying to figure out what I want sexually, if anything, and what my boundaries are. I know I’ve gone past my boundaries before and have been very upset by it. I know I’ve had a loving relationship where I enjoyed sexual contact - even if that memory is soured by a bad breakup. But fanfiction is a place where I can explore...and so far my exploration is that reading about characters with vulvas having sex makes me uncomfortable because I relate too much. I’ve always been very empathetic and put myself in the shoes of my favorite characters. I’m always there, I’m always them. And if I’m them, I’m experiencing what they’re experiencing...except my experience with sex in general, and penetrative sex in particular, is so far removed from the experiences of the people with vulvas in the fanfiction that there’s a disconnect in my brain and it makes me uncomfortable.

At the end of the day, sex between two people with penises does not make me uncomfortable. I don’t have a penis, I don’t have a prostate, and I’ve never tried anal so I can’t relate to that. When I put myself in those characters shoes then, I relate to the emotions that go with it - the love and the pleasure of being with someone you love - rather than the physicality.

Maybe that is fetishizing at the end of the day. I hope not. Either way, I’m working through some issues.

#oh the inanity! #I don't know how to tag this