#holy shit fuck christ god

[kingofthe-egirls]

BUTTERFLY: LUFFY x Y/N (modern au part 7)

modern au

(cw: mma!luffy, celebrity, dress shopping, flirty banter, food mention, interview w Teen Vogue reporter, reader is a camgirl)

(a/n: help)

Songs: “The Louvre” by Lorde

words: 1.4k

****

“I’m not askin’ what I look like,” Luffy drawls with a crooked smirk. His hands are loose in his pockets as he steps closer, space minimizing between his heated body and yours. “I’m askin’ if ya like whatcha see. Cmon, kitty, how’re the threads?”

He leers at you in his fitted black suit, paired with a deep red, satin button down the color of a dry cabaret sauvignon. A silver chain with a skull-and-crossbones hangs around his neck. It glitters between his exposed collarbones. You want to take it off with your teeth.

“Sexy.”

He snickers, and rushes back into the changing room. “Awesome,” is all he says as he finishes redressing.

You’re standing outside the velvet curtain holding the socks, tie, and pocket square that match the suit.

He adds a Rolex to the mix.

You both check out of the swanky menswear shop, and head down the sparkling strip to find you a dress.

****

You stand in the fitting room, obscured by a black door with a chalkboard sign that says “#2” in a curly, squiggly font.

You’d decided to hit one of the local thrift stores, decked out in miniature Calico Critter toys, porcelain tea sets, vintage dresses, and strange plants. Luffy seems comfortable enough, chatting with the elderly saleswoman at the counter.

You squirm.

You’re wearing a deep red velveteen dress with a gathered waist and a slit up the side. It’s heavy, and smells like mothballs. You shimmy out of it; the texture is abhorrent.

“How’s it goin’, dollface?”

Luffy asks you through the kitschy little door. His sandals scuff the uneven floorboards on the other side of the fitting room. You’re tangling your limbs in an emerald green

cocktail dress with too-tight sleeves.

“Struggling!”

You huff with an honest sigh.

“What’s wrong? Need my help?” He asks cheekily, and you snort.

“Not yet, Prince Charming.”

He laughs, but lays off the banter. It’s a sorta sweet balance that you two have found with each other.

Luffy knocks on the door.

“How’s this one? Saleslady said—,” he stops as you open the door, still half-dressed in a champagne gown. It’s pale pink with diamond shimmers. The sweetheart neckline dives between your breasts, tapered empire waistline revealing the goddess-like, Boticelli version of your pear-shaped body. The long, flowy skirt wraps around your legs in waves. There’s a subtle slit to your thigh, and you found a rose gold clutch to match.

You slowly turn, sweeping your hair to the side so he can zip the back of the slinky, incandescent gown.

His fingers are slow as he clips the zipper up your exposed back.

“What jewelry d’ya want?”

He asks, raspy.

****

You decide on a single, Swarovski swan pendent with a rose-quartz center. The wings of the silver swan are outstretched behind her, with a diamondesque eye sparkling at the center of her graceful face.

You spray Daisy by Marc Jacobs at your pulse points. You curl your hair. You apply eyeshadow, lip liner, and gloss. You contour and highlight: blush, false lashes, winged eyeliner, everything.

You stare at yourself in the mirror of Luffy’s luxurious bathroom.

Sparkling.

Glittering.

Insane.

****

The dinner lasts so long.

You find yourself picking at the fabric napkin in your lap: undoing scratchy threads as you fiddle.

There’s so much social labor.

You have no idea how your boyfriend does it. It’s so many hours of smiling, chatting, answering questions, social media marketing, and more.

Everything said is scrutinized. Laborious. Every single face you make has a chance to be photographed. Immortalized. Tweeted. Instagrammed.

Commented on.

You scrunch your nose to the side, staring down at your green tea sorbet. A dessert that is so light and refreshing actual tears spring to your eyes as you taste the light green ice.

The champagne is sweet.

Your stomach is sour.

Luffy is standing off to the side, doing an interview. The reporter is smiling, seemingly kind.

Luffy kicks ass at interviews.

The social media burnout seems to roll off his back. Like staring into flashing lights doesn’t dizzy his head. Like he can still focus through the humming buzz of food, conversation, drinks, and laughter.

You feel like a scared rabbit.

Someone bumps your elbow, and you squeak out a frozen gasp of terror. Someone laughs, and the tension leaves your body as you force yourself to breathe. You’re safe, here.

It’s just new, is all.

“Sorry bout that,” someone says, as they hover next to your seat. You force yourself to see past lights and sounds and system overload. Person. Individual. Someone is standing next to you and you must learn their name. “Is this seat taken?”

You shake your head, and shift so they have room to sit in Luffy’s vacant seat. They’re lovely: dressed in sky blue and silver accents.

“Maria.”

You smile wide at hearing her name, her pronouns, her career as a social media manager. She’s working at Teen Vogue, something you particularly respect. “Is it okay if I ask you some questions? It’s super interesting to see your social media presence as an egirl,” she smiles, “And I’d love to see what you have to say about it! It’s okay if you’re a little overwhelmed,” she allows. She had a gap between her front two teeth.

She is sparkling.

“Sure! I’m an open book, really. My social filter is all outta wack,” you admit, shyly. But you hope your open body language and softer voice help get the “friends” message across.

Expression. Communication.

Honesty.

Sweetness.

Swiftness.

She starts:

“So, how long has it been since you started camming?” She licks her lips, iPhone recording the conversation. She sets it on her knee, face up. She had a daisy-patterned pop socket.

“I started in 2020, once the pandemic started. I started an OnlyFans, and I haven’t really looked back since. Although, I take some breaks now and again.”

She smiles, “Breaks are healthy,” she assures you, as someone starts filming you over her shoulder. You scoop another bite of sorbet.

“So, what would you say is the most interesting thing about your career?”

“Mm!” You hum through a mouthful of green tea ice, “So many things! It’s so creatively expressive. I get to assign myself whatever roles I want,” you start bragging a little, “Since I choose whoever I wanna cosplay. It’s also so sweet to see what content people vibe with. Like, someone said they listen to my ASMR as they fall asleep! It’s amazing, seeing that someone sees you as their comfort content, y’know?” You smile, rambling a bit.

She smiles, though. She seems to enjoy listening. So you smile, too.

“Awesome, that’s super cool. What are some challenges about sex work?”

You nod, sober.

“The shame. People want to criticize me so much for showing my body onscreen, but burlesque has been around for centuries. The art of the striptease, the art of pornography, the skills of prostitution—it’s all so gorgeous. It’s got its shadow side, like everything, so when I speak about sex work as a career, I am always only ever speaking about consensual sex.”

She nods sagely, listening.

“So, um…ah—is it okay if I speak more on this?” You ask nervously. The napkin is scrunched into knots in your fists. The reporter—Maria—nods. She is smiling, and focused. Her eyes are deep brown, with fluffy eyelashes even without mascara.

She is not wearing makeup.

You smudge at your own lipstick, wishing you could swipe it off.

“Okay, so…it’s a way for me to flirt with strangers on the internet. It’s like, a very fun thing to do for me,” you smile, honestly. “And that’s how I met Monkey D. Luffy! Oh, I hope that’s okay to say,” you suddenly fret, social filter glitching out. “It’s so hard to understand censorship,” you confess, “I’m an adult performer so like…all the stuff I say is gonna be, like, eighteen plus. Or like, how do you decide what’s private and what’s public? It’s all so discomfortable,” you huff.

She smiles, laughing softly.

“I understand. Is there anything else you wanna say?” She has her hands folded in front of her, with several silver rings on her slender, piano-player fingers.

“Don’t say he met me through my day job, please.”

She meets your eyes, scanning.

“Seriously.”

She nods, satisfied.

“Thanks so much for your time, Miss Hero Butterfly!” She smiles, and stands up. Her dress rustled around her. She has a butterfly pendant in her hair. You smile, and stand to shake her hand.

“I love your butterfly necklace,” you say, grinning.

She winks.

“I wore it for you.”

****

#holy shit fuck christ god #sgsggaba #dumpster dive #kitty speaks #modern au #luffy x y/n #one piece fanfic #luffy fanfic #luffy x reader #luffy x you #one piece modern au #luffy modern au

[faggyangel]

thinking about crowley and "my lover's got humor, she's the giggle at a funeral" and "knows everybody's disapproval, i should have worshipped her sooner" and "if the heavens ever did speak then she's the last true mouth piece" and "the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you" and "my lover's the sunlight" and "i was born sick but i love it" and "there is no sweeter innocence then our gentle sin"

#he was born sick #shoveling dirt into my mouth are you kidding #holy fucking shit crowley looking at aziraphale and thinking if the heaven's ever did speak then she's the last true mouth piece #hozier said this song is about “reclaiming your humanity through the act of love” he literally said “it's essentially about sex” and how th #church teaches people to feel shame about sex and love #jesus fucking christ crowley finds absolution through his love and desire for aziraphale not through god or heaven but through this sin #i will not survive i am weak i am mmmmmmm #good omens #aziracrow #inneffable husbands are being inneffable again #crowley tag

[depravitydotexe]

ok so for thursday date night yesterday he took me 2 build-a-bear again n then 2 korean fusion but i cant believe im saying this but. building a pochacco plush paled in comparison 2 the freak shit he did 2 me after. i said i wanted 2 push my impact play limits n HOLY SHIT. i got kicked arnd on the floor. i had 2 beg him 2 punch me. i got choked so hard that when he let go i hacked up drool all over myself like 3 fuckin times. n getting all ur air cut off w a butch hand arnd ur neck is fucking fantastic n all but have u ever had a boot press so hard down on ur chest that THAT stopped u from breathing entirely??? fucking christ. he refrained from wearing those new boots outside JUST so they can b for stomping n kicking n begging at. he bit me until it bled n left swollen bumps. MULTIPLE kicks 2 the crotch. i had told him at dinner "im not rly feelin the knives or toys 2nite just impact" n then during sex he goes "i dont care what u want. i want the knife." that itself almost made me cum but then he carved DADDYS GIRL n COCKSLUT n DOLLFACE n DYKE BAIT in2 my skin. i was screaming so hard i was pounding against the living room floor n he had 2 gag me which made me even droolier but that wasnt even enough so then i had 2 get almost suffocated w a pillow on top of that. i dont think ive ever cried so hard during sex its some of the hardest ive ever cried that kinda cry that distinctly reminds of when u were a kid all deep n guttural n trembling n uncontrollable. i had put on extra mascara right b4 w the express purpose of crying it all off n by god did i do just that. n then of course when he was done with that he had me crawl 2 the bed where i promptly received the best strap hes ever given me. that mating press worked s2g im knocked up now. im literally gods favorite painslut bc i asked him 2 grab the biggest cock we got n he shoved it in and it was so fucking huge it hurt so much i had 2 immediately shove him out and FUCK I LIKED IT. MIGHT DO IT AGAIN ON PURPOSE. promptly got boycunt all over my face after. straight up the most euphorically agonizing sex ive ever had. i could barely move after n the big plug in me prolly didnt help. god.

#just. holy shit. #i know thats a ramble but like jesus fucking christ??? hello??? #god. #n yes this was like the first thing pochacco saw after we brought him home ajgsdkds #slut.txt #blood.raw #wlw nsft #trans nsft #sapphic nsft #t4t nsft #lesbian nsft #bloodplay #knifeplay

[lycanr0t]

*eyes snap open* laios' love language being consuming something. making it yours. making it a part of you. laios being so in love with chil that he has to eat him in the 100% literal sense. laios cutting him up and tearing him open with his hands and teeth and eating his flesh and organs and maybe even sharing with chilchuck himself. laios eating all of chil to make him a part of laios forever because that's what love is

#is chil SUPER into this or does he think this is crazy shit? umm yes. #chilchuck torn because OH GOD THIS GUY IS EATING HIM? but also oh the euphoria of being loved so intensely. #chilchuck has never felt so WANTED !! but holy shit oh god christ fuck ?? #rot posts #i feel deranged rn. about them. #chilaios #<- came back to tag this bc its sexy and everyone should think about fucked up chilaios

[wordy-little-witch]

Absolutely unhinged hot take

I know that like. Technologically, it makes NO sense to have video game systems, but hear me out here.

Cross Guild gets contacted by a smuggling black market business for a partnership between goals. It would be mutually beneficial. Crocodile handles most of the meeting, between his general demeanor and also because he knows the boss of the other group from his Baroque Works days. The guy offers a gift as a sign of good will, a VERY expensive gift at that to demonstrate his ability to perform and make profit. It's essentially a flex on his part.

Croc can't actually decline it, lest he be rude. He also can't throw it away. Ergo, he makes a show of passing it off to Buggy.

The item in question? A specialty made game system designed for entertainment. It's got the same viewing and audio capabilities as the transponder snails, but it offers far more - interactive tech, a plethora of game options, etc. These things are RIDICULOUSLY expensive, circulating only in the highest echelons of society.

Buggy has always wanted to get his hands on one. After the meeting, Buggy and smuggler boss man discuss the system- Buggy quite bluntly asks if they have schematics of them. Smuggler nods, and offers one to Buggy with a charming smile. "On the house for a lovely man such as yourself."

Buggy, blinded by his own excitement of a New Toy To Tinker With, completely misses Croc and Mihawk tensing with dark scowls.

They manage to interject themselves into the exchange, and later on,Crocodile asks Buggy to 'set the damned thing up'. They tease him lightly for being a nerd, but they remain as he browses the catalog.theyfind a dance game. Buggy thinks it sounds fun.

He plays it.

He absolutely KILLS IT.

He stands there in his tight little yoga capris and crop top, hair almost windswept, cheeks pink, a light sheen of sweat, absolutely beaming.

Mihawk and Crococodile are white knuckling their pants legs or the armrest respectively.

Buggy now has a new fun pass time!

Croc and Hawk, meanwhile, have a few realizations, crises, and a love-hate relationship brewing with a little game system.

#buggy headcanons #i bet that man can DANCE #his body control HAS to be next level #between his DF and circus stuff #let buggy be cool #but also cringefail #Mihawk and Croc while Buggy was dancing: oh. oh my god. ohhh holy shit. ASS. holy FUCK he's flexible. jesus. fucking christ. oh my gOD- #cross guild polycule #cross guild poly #cross guild #not canon not sorry

[apatheticrobots]

i'll make it worth your while~

#little shop of horrors #little shop #lsoh #lsoh twoey #audrey ii #audrey 2 #sal art #so um. guess what i saw at Westside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #holy shit. oh my god. jesus christ #ive never seen a professional production before #and like more power to the volunteers/students whose productions i HAVE seen #by god they did their best considering the challenge this show presents #BUT THE SHEER SCOPE OF THE OFF-BROADWAY ONE??????????????? #first of all i have to shout out to everyones vocal performances because they were absolutely stellar #it was corbin bleu and constance wu and i had no idea the latter could sing?? but she killed it as audrey #AND AARON A. HARRINGTON AS TWOEY.................MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #THE RAAAANGE HE HAS IT ALL #but with that said #Jesus Christ The Puppetry Was Fucking Otherworldly #no pun intended i swear #like. again the volunteer performances did so well considering #but the sheer breadth of the skill difference between them and the professionals #GOD!!!!! GOD. #SHE HAD SO MUCH LIFE. SO DYNAMIC. AND SHE WAS *SILLY* #a lot of twoey's mannerisms were like a combination between a snake and a cat and it was delightful every time #in her final stage especially she had all these little like. head tilts and minute reactions to things #and it just made her feel so ALIVE. #her full-bodied laughs mean everything to me #EVEN WHEN CORBIN WAS DOING THE HANDHELD SHE WAS SILLY!!!!!!! ya never know funniest fucking choreo EVER #UGH ive said enough. ive said enough. i will talk until my tags start getting deleted if i keep going so ill leave it there

[gregoftom]

TO ME, THAT’S CINEMA

#tomgreg #so i've seen this around a lot and ppl have already made points but like holy fuck. hoooly fuck lmao where do i begin #TOM THOUGHT THE ROOM WAS EMPTY FOR UH ... FOR WHAT BITCH?? #empty for what. you two just going in there ALONE. what for. strategizing? ok but then why was greg showing you tonight's selection. #even if it was girls it's still sus bc like who tf goes specifically to a room to show that shit. #oh by the way i listened again and tom says first ''why do we have to...'' so GREG asked for the room? #greg asked them to go to an empty room. slut. #anD THEN AFTER SAID ''I WANNA GIVE YOU'' BITCH!!!!!!!!1 #are we sure it's girls though...... like does it say later. i'll keep watching but Christ. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK #how am i supposed to read this other than an affair lmfao and then he says ''go on'' and sends greg off away like a little pet #sick to bastard death of them god #so it's like. greg says can we go somewhere private and tom says why do we have to #greg says i wanna give you... and tom says what do you wanna give me annoyed like #girl we are at work and we are trying to stay alive can't you wait til we are at home for me to clap them cheeks #and then greg says a preview of tonight's selection... of what? could be alcohol could be sexy stuff could be mf. clothes idk #and then they look up like O FUCK the room is in use and it's fucking SH*V and immediately tom is like GO ON and greg #doesn't even stutter or say anything like usual he's just like SORRY and leaves immediately bc he KNOWS he gotta gtfo #sorry i'm just. poetic cinema indeed

[aranthegenderfluidbastard]

HEY

HEY LISTEN TO ME

THIS POST CONTAINS SEVER TMAGP EP.8 SPOILERS

GO LISTEN TO THE EPISODE BEFORE READING THIS

GERRY IS ALIVE

GERRY IS FUCKING ALIVE

Gerry is alive, and happy, like, he sounds GENIUNLY happy, and he paints, and he drinks tea, and just sounds SO normal, and he isn't alone, and GERTRUDE FUCKING ROBINSON is his grandma (just hoping that she hadn't done what she did in TMA or I'll go back to hate her with a burning passion). And you know what? Yes, I did cry, and yes, I did screamed, and YES there is A LOT more to unpack in ep8 since all the Alice-Gwen conversation was soooooo.

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON CELIA MAN.

WHAT. THE. FUCKKKKKKKK.

AND OF COURSE SHE IS WITH GEORGIE IN WTG!!!! 'CAUSE WHY NOT?????

#im going insane #the magnus protocol #tmagp #what the fuck #jesus christ #holy shit #im not okay #oh my fucking god #tmagp spoilers #spoliers #ep8 #tmagp ep 8 #dear lord

[gummy-axolotl]

:333 I wasn’t lying when I said Jax liked bondage

Cube. Cube honey. Bestie. Darling. I. Am so normal. About this. I am completely chill and not dying. I am vibing. All good. Nothing. Yes.

#ahem #........................................................................................................................................... #HOLY FUCKING SHIT #HOLY FUCK #SHIT #HOLY HELL #MOTHER OF GOD #JESUS FUCKING CHRIST #JIMINY CHRISTMAS #OH MY FRILLIAM #GOOD LORD #HNNGHFSAJDGAGDHDHJDAGGSDKJ #JAGZGSAHKAKCHAHDKC #AKDHAGDJZLCKSHSDJ #LAJDHAGAJXGAGDJFK #ASKFKDJAHDGSKGKL #BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME BITE ME #CHAIN ME UP SO I CAN'T MOVE AND ---- ME TIL I PASS OUT #HOLY SHIT #CUBE #OH MY GOD #...... #gummyanswers #suggestive

[pettyprocrastination]

ellie going from snarling and spitting blood while throwing a meat cleaver to screaming in fear because as ferocious as she can be she’s still a scared little girl jesus fucking christ 

#tj talks #i KNEW that scene was gonna happen but oh dear god it still fucking tore me to shreds my poor baby #bella better get ALL the fucking awards holy shit #hearing her cry out like that fucking christ #tlou spoilers #the last of us spoilers

[christiangeistdorfer]

JOCHEN RINDT smoking a cigarette at the 1970 AUSTRIAN GRAND PRIX

#holy shit oh my god what the fark oh dear god holy moly jesus christ bloody hell holy fuck #butter my butt and call me a biscuit! #LADIES AND GENTLEMEN........ HOW WE FEELING ABOUT THIS????? #the little hand on hip too!!!!! THE LITTLE HAND ON HIP !!!!!!!!!!!!!! #jochen pls one night i'm begging uuuuu #jochen rindt #classic f1 #f1 #formula 1 #1970s

[elias-weed-socks]

He took his fucking eyes

started Malevolent, and I'm only on episode 15, but love them so far

#malevolent #malevolent arthur #arthur malevolent #malevolent john #john malevolent #arthur lester #john doe malevolent #malevolent fanart #ARTHUR. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ARTHUR. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. CHRIST ALIVE. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. FUCK.

[apollos-boyfriend]

#icarus speaks #oh my fucking god??? boomer’s latest tweets #and i think stream?? i didnt watch it but holy shit 😭 #for those who haven’t seen it xenbe (played bedwars w tiredtwt often) literally lied about like #every aspect of his life #including lying about being black and muslim #jesus fucking christ can this community catch a goddamn break

[transboykirito]

i got an anon in like november or december last year saying they thought i’d like attack on titan because they thought i’d like eren’s character based on my meta posts about kazuto and i never posted it because i didn’t wanna deal with All That and also didn’t care about snk and now i just want to say thank you to that anon because eren is everything i’ve ever wished for kazuto and more

#except kazuto actually got with asuna but. #it was incredible. holy shit. i’m going to be thinking about it for a long long time. #there’s definitely some stuff in there!! definitely some topics and content!! #but the story of it was just. jesus christ. and the ENDING. and the CHARACTERS. #and the foreshadowing… i’ve never seen foreshadowing that fucking good my god.

[locklylemybeloved]

hey so real quick question why is NO ONE talking about how absolutely stunning kat looked at the fittes and fifty ball????

like ok rhianna go off 🙇‍♀️

#sorry not sorry for cropping out bobby and kipps #this isnt abt them ok #i see so many ppl thirsting over jack and im just like. ok bUT. kat. #like not to be gay but shit. oh my god. holy fucking jesus christ sjsjdhehebebsgs #lockwood and co #lockwood & co #kat godwin #the fittes and fifty ball

[softquietsteadylove]

Both are attending a meeting with some business partners but soon they insult and make fun of Gil getting himself shot. Thena isn’t having it at all and soon they are begging for mercy and forgiveness 😈

For the tyrant king au of course 😁

"Then we're agreed."

Gil stood, although he hadn't said nearly as much in the meeting as Thena had with their associates. The businessmen in question were mostly interested in Thena's assets, after all, it was just that some of their 'goods' would be distributed through Thena's channels, as well as through Koreatown and Chinatown.

He wasn't nearly interested enough in what was being said; he wanted to be at home, with Thena, cuddling on the couch or listening to her read in bed while he played on his phone.

"Indeed we are," Thena nodded. The businessmen offered their hands, but Thena looked over at him. The Ice Queen didn't shake hands unless she was already acquainted with her associate.

Gil sighed, extending his hand to shake instead. The things he did for this woman. "I'm sure our doors will be open if you need to discuss anything else about the plans."

"Thank you," the associates traded looks, "Tyrant King. Your reputation precedes you. We have heard so much about your work."

He wasn't entirely sure what that was supposed to mean, but he slipped his hands into his pockets as they prepared to end the meeting, "great."

"Is it true you killed Kro?" the younger associate of the two asked in a near whisper, a juvenile glee coming from him as he asked.

"No," Gil answered without hesitation. The younger man looked disappointed before he moved his thumb towards Thena beside him, "she did."

"Ah yes, the Ice Queen is not without her own methods."

Gil caught Thena's eye for just a second. Again, he wasn't really sure what this young guy's deal was, but he was more and more eager to wrap things up.

"But The Prince Eternal, that most certainly was you!" the other associate now joined in. Technically, it was bad decorum--bringing up past business that wasn't anything they should be concerned with, Gil thought.

"Uh, yeah," Gil blinked. He wasn't sure how they had found that one out.

"Ah," the older one at least seemed to realise how rude they were being. "Forgive the intrusion. We do have quite a skilled information dealer we consulted before coming. Can't be ignorant to our honourable host's reputations, after all."

"You can be a little ignorant," Gil mumbled, although it was taken as more of a friendly joke than how he meant it--a genuine urging for them to get the fuck out of his office.

"You've had quite the past, Tyrant King!" the younger one chimed in again. "A bungled affair, sending business away left and right!"

"You even got shot last year!"

Perhaps they were unable to read the room--like, at all. But the two seemed elated to prove that they knew the lives of their business associates. They even grinned at him as they said it.

"It happens," the younger one waved it off like it was nothing, "I don't think you're past your prime at all!"

Gil bit his tongue. He didn't realise that was an opinion people had of him. What--because he got shot?! He didn't see how that was his fault.

"It was the fall of one of the great families in the business back in Korea! Their daughter still hasn't been seen in public."

Gil resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Do you know why that is?"

Gil felt a shiver run up even his spine, and he wasn't the one in trouble. He looked at the men who, by the calm looks on their faces, didn't seem to know yet why the temperature had changed so much.

Thena just stared at them, but they didn't make a guess at all. So, she informed them. "It's because I cut off one of her fingers before I sent her back to them."

The two men looked at one another. Apparently that wasn't in the briefing done by their precious 'information dealer' (horseshit). They put on perfectly polite smiles. "We were unaware, Ice Queen."

"Most are," Thena continued to fix them with her icy green glare. She rustled her lace around her shoulders. "I also told her that she would be relieved of her ears next, if I ever saw her near me, or my husband, again."

"Your-"

"We weren't-"

Poor guys didn't even see it coming. They could have just looked down when Thena adjusted her lace to see that she had reached for her hip. Her fingers had grasped the knife she kept around her thigh, which was now driven into the younger man's leg, dangerously close to some key arteries.

She looked at the other one, who flinched just from that. "I take threats - and disrespect - of the Tyrant King very seriously."

"I-I-I would-" he stuttered, trying to back up to the office doors behind him. But he could never have moved fast enough, getting another of her knives launched into the palm of his hand he had been trying to use to show her he meant no harm.

The younger one pulled the knife out of his thigh, but he wasn't in any condition to fight back. Thena used the sole of her heel to push him over in his crumpled posture, like a wounded animal.

"Did you find the story thrilling?" she asked so dryly and evenly. Gil watched as she reached into the younger man's suit jacket and pulled out the weapon he had in an arm holster. She held it in a way that was kind of sexy, honestly. "Did you find it amusing?"

"I'm sorry!" he yelped, trying to crawl, but his leg was all but useless. "I'm sorry, I won't say it again!"

"Do you know where he was shot?" she turned to the other one, who sprinted to the doors and pulled on them to escape.

She shot him from behind, two in the ribs and one by his clavicle (if he had been turned around facing her). "Is it painful?"

Gil just whistled to himself, impressed as always. Thena didn't even look back at him; she wasn't done.

She walked over to the man dragging his bloody hand down Gil's nice, solid oak door. Again, she used her foot to nudge him into looking up at her. "I said: is it painful?"

"Y-Yes," the man snivelled.

"Yes?" Thena glared down at him, flipping his hand over and stepping on it (the injured one).

"Y-Yes--yes, Ice Queen!"

Thena emptied the rest of the clip next to his head, scaring him very literally shitless. She left him kneeling on the floor, watching his life flash before his eyes. The completely empty and useless weapon, she tossed at the head of the other one, letting it smack him in the face like tossing a food wrapper in the garbage.

Gil pulled his hands out of his pockets just to clap. "Holy shit, Princess, that was hot!"

She glared at him, "is that truly the adjective you wish to choose?"

"Okay," he chuckled, walking over to her to amend his compliment. He kissed her temple, wrapping his arm around her, "it was ice cold."

Thena rolled her eyes at the silly joke (as the men screamed and cried in agony in the background). "That was far worse."

"Yeah, but that's why you're marrying me," Gil snickered, positively delighted to bring up their engagement at every possible opportunity.

Thena sighed, straightening his collar and unbuttoning his shirt, now that they weren't in a very important meeting. She liked seeing the edges of his tattoo sleeves encroaching on his shoulders. "I would not say that is why."

"Okay, okay," he chuckled, leading her out of the office that was about to stink of blood and evacuated bowels. "My devilish good looks were too much to resist, huh?"

Thena didn't chide him, at least, letting him lead her away from the mess they left inside. She merely let her lace settle in the crooks of her elbows as he led her to the elevators. "I am willing to agree if it gets us home that much faster."

Gil pointed at his office from the elevator doors, "that's gonna need a good bleaching."

"Understood sir!" his guys knew what that meant, and exactly what evidence to wash out of his area rugs.

Once they were in the elevator, away from prying eyes, Thena allowed him to nuzzle her cheek. "What an exhausting meeting."

"I barely remember anything from it," he agreed, and the way she laughed meant that he didn't need to tell her that. He kissed her cheek, "but I do remember you saying that you felt like sushi tonight."

"Something light, please," she sighed, allowing him to unravel the tight knots that comprised her business persona.

"Anything you desire, Ice Queen," Gil purred for her. He would tell her when they were home how sexy he found her whole defense of him. Maybe he could even get her to be a little pushy with him tonight.

#Ice Queen/Tyrant King AU #Thena is a badass #and Gil is a s i m p #he is king simp #he is his wife's number one fan #she said: does it hurt #Gil: oh my god oh my jesus fucking christ she's so hot holy shit god i love her oh my fuck she #Gil was ready to just be like ugh this is so annoying #maybe at most he would be like okay haha bad joke #Thena as soon as they joke about him being shot: I am going to make you shit your pants #they wanna joke about Gil almost dying? #about her biggest trauma to date #about the worst time of her life #okay sure she's going to toss a gun at you like a rock at a bunch of seagulls #(please don't throw rocks at seagulls I do not condone this) #also I don't usually bring up guns in my stuff because what am I american? #but Thena can damn well make good use of one if she really has to #she didn't have to shoot next to that guy's head #she does admit maybe that part was overboard #Gil is like baby there's a hole in my floor #Thena *shrugs*: technically I fired three shots so that's not a bad ratio