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#his scream when he knows he has to let his dad go is always heartwrenching
theabcsofjustice · 4 years
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Day 17 (September 16): “Putting the D in Destiny”
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stark-tony · 3 years
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today is my 22nd birthday so i’m celebrating by reccing 22 of my favorite fics and giving my general thoughts about them.
atla
 i'm still here by owedbetter (77.7, T, zutara) "You see me."And somehow, that makes all the difference.
thoughts: One of the first zutara fics i ever read and it’s still one of my absolute favorites. The characterization of all of the characters is superb and the gradual development of zuko and katara’s relationship is amazing.
 such selfish prayers by andromeda3116 (47.6k, T, zutara)  Katara's ambition, so long set aside for the good of others, breaks free and sets fire to her soul. Or, Katara has a vision of her canon future, casts it aside, and becomes a world-changing politician instead.
thoughts: while this fic is a zutara fic, the majority of this fic is centered on katara and her helping rebuild the world after the war and it does an astounding job of portraying just that. and honestly this probably has my favorite characterization of katara i’ve ever read in a fic.
 Southern Lights by colourwhirled (501.8k, M, zutara) A world where the Avatar has disappeared from memory. Where Sozin’s Conquest was successful. Where the unsteady order of the empire is threatened as members of the royal family are picked off one by one and lines are slowly drawn in the sand.One last chance for peace forces an unlikely alliance between a homesick waterbender, a carefree Air Nomad, a runaway Earth Kingdom heiress, and the fire lord's inscrutable son. Together they must learn to shed old enmities and become the balance they seek to restore to the world.OR:The avatar has four heads.x[[Chapter 4: "And always, his eyes, cautiously watching her. Even when he thinks she isn’t looking. It drives her mad"]]
thoughts: when i say i was unable to put this fic down i genuinely mean that. like i’m pretty sure i was hooked from the very first chapter and i never looked back.
bnha
  stickers and stars by aloneintherain (1.9k, G, gen) “Aizawa, are you sure I’m the best person for this job? There are a lot more qualified people on campus. People who have been teachers for years, and—”As All Might spoke, Midoriya Izuku crawled the length of the couch, ducked under All Might’s arm, and made himself comfortable on his lap. All Might’s hands rose into the air, as though unsure of what to with his arms now that he had a toddler curled against his stomach like a cat seeking the warmth of its owner.“Um,” All Might said.
thoughts: is it not enough to say ‘baby deku’ and leave it at that?
 Butterfly by aconstantstateofbladerunner (198.8k, T, gen) The first over-night trip off campus since the training camp was supposed to be a fun break from more intense work back home. But between a bleak introduction to chaos theory, a chilly reception from the locals, and the looming threat of a villain attack, Izuku has too much on his mind to properly enjoy the fresh air. But those worries are a light breeze compared to the hurricane that accompanies what he finds on the outskirts of town.Or rather, what finds him.
thoughts: it’s incredibly well written and the horror aspect is so good. also the dad might in it is top tier.
villain eradication plan 5C: let them attack budding heroes mothers, wait appropriate time for mother to defeat them (3.4k, G, toshinko)  Targetting the civilian families of hero students should be cakewalk. Pity they decided to go with Inko first.Or the one where Inko accidentally defeats the League of Villains.
thoughts: this fic is basically inko accidentally being a badass and it’s as hilarious and awesome as it sounds
 see it all in bloom by aloneintherain (57.2k, T,  tododeku, kiribaku, momojirou, bullying) Midoriya looked over the occupants of the room with butter soft eyes. “We should do this again. Seeing everyone in one place … it’s like we’re back in school again.”Todoroki said, “It feels like a family reunion.”(Social media fic, counting down the five months to Class 1-A's ten year reunion.) 
thoughts: this series deals with social media + the lives of class 1a after they become pro heroes and it is amazing.
 remember from here on in by aloneintherain (8.1k, G, gen) Aizawa glances from All Might to Midoriya quickly. It sounds impossible—he’s never heard of a quirk that can be handed down like a family heirloom—but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. Midoriya’s inability to use his quirk at the start of the year. The strange, familial relationship between All Might and Midoriya. The slow malnourishment of All Might’s body, like his power was being siphoned away.“You’re …” Aizawa begins.“I’m All Might’s successor.” Midoriya’s proud but shaky voice rings clearly down the empty corridor.Aizawa finds out about One for All. 
thoughts: this fic deals with one for all being revealed to aizawa + midoriya getting more quirks and it is amazing
could i but teach the hundredth part by terra_incognita (5.2k, G, gen) Ito Matsu knows three things about her neighbor, Mr. Yagi: he's very skinny, he's very kind, and he has enough children to overthrow the Japanese government.Or:All Might is retired, but his former students keep coming up with reasons to visit. 
thoughts: this fic is so lovely and i adore it so much
mcu
 the talk by parkrstark (3.1k, pepperony) “Wait, man, what’re you doin’?” Rhodey asked, leaning forward.“Giving the kid his talk before he goes off to college.” Duh.Rhodey blinked. “At 3am when you’re probably too drunk to even spell your name, months before he actually has to leave?”“Yeah.”Rhodey blinked again. “Okay.”
thoughts: this fic is absolutely hilarious and poor peter is suffering throughout all of it
 call you home by Madelinedear (19k, G, pepperony) sometimes family is who you're born with.and sometimes family is a spider boy, a rich not-dad, and a kickass aunt.(or; tony, may, and peter find a place in each other's lives)
thoughts: to me, this fic is the tony may co-parenting fic. like i honestly don’t think that anything can ever top it
I Never Lived 'Til I Lived In Your Light by losingmymindtonight (38.4k, T, pepperony, character death)  As the world shifts to make space for Morgan Stark, everyone around her shifts, too. (As it turns out, this also includes Peter Parker's sleep schedule.) 
thoughts: this fic is both fluffy goodness and heartwrenching angst and it handles both beautifully.
 Lazarus, come forth by iron_spider (47.9k, T, pepperony) Tony's mind is a chaotic mess but he remembers the moment—remembers his death, remembers the red hot pain and Peter screaming, Rhodey rushing to his side. How he knew he’d never see Pepper again—but they’d fixed it. They’d fixed the world, erased the lost time, set things right—and the kid was back. The kid was crying, the kid hated him for doing what he did, but he was back. He was alive.Tony Stark was dead. But now he’s breathing again, trying to think, gasping, hands tracing the box surrounding him, covering him, suffocating him.He’s in a coffin. He’s under the ground. He’s under the fucking ground.(Tony Stark dies defeating Thanos. But then he comes back to life. He has to find out how, why, and how to live again. And how to deal with the changes in the people he's coming back to.)
thoughts: although this fic was written and finished pre-endgame but to me this fic is the fix-it fic for film.
Identity Saga by KitCat992 (400.7k, T, pepperony) An organically developed, platonic slow-burn of Avengers-fam dynamic with a heavy hand of Irondad & Spiderson. Throw in an overdose of whump, a couple of cunning villains and a big-bad hiding in the shadows, and you got yourself this hot mess.
thoughts: i just love the avengers dynamic in this series and the whump is medically accurate which is amazing.
college applications: the biggest meme by sagemb (3.3k, T, pepperony) Tony covered his face with both hands and screamed very gently. “Can I just bribe the school to let Peter in?"
thoughts: this series is absolutely hilarious and i love it
hp  
 The Changeling + Armistice Series  by Annerb (586.6k, M, hinny, rape) Ginny is sorted into Slytherin. It takes her seven years to figure out why.
thoughts: this fic is absolutely golden and i adore it so so much. the characters are so well written and the worldbuilding in this fic is fantastic and it actually has an original aspect of hogwarts (aka the parlor) that i practially consider to be canon at this point. also the depiction of slytherin house + house unity in this fic is just *chef’s kiss*
 boy with a scar by dirgewithoutmusic (208.7k, T, hinny, romione, jily)  A series of "what if" rewrites of Harry Potter, books 1-7. Cross-posted from tumblr (ink-splotch).
thoughts: every single one of these fics are exquisitely written and i wish that i could experience the beauty of this series again for the very first time.
  Hogwarts, to welcome you home by gedsparrowhawk (FaceChanger) (11.1k, G, ginny) “You understand, Professor,” Harry began, after a moment, “that I don’t have my N.E.W.T.s. I never even finished seventh year. Between everything, I never had a chance the first time around, and then afterwards there didn’t seem to be much point. Hermione argued for it, of course, but I was so tired of Britain. So technically, I am completely unqualified for the position.”“Quite a way to begin an interview, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall said, dryly.Or, three years after the war, Harry Potter becomes Hogwarts' newest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.
thoughts: this is my favorite harry as dada professor i’ve ever read. no doubt about it
 And the Unethical Binding Contract by justafandomfollower (14.6k, G, gen) AU. What if the Triwizard Tournament took place in Harry's first year, not his fourth? 
thoughts: this fic is beautifully written and i love the relationship that forms between harry, cedric, krum, and fleur.
Regulus Black and the Way Things Changed: A Not!Fic by imaginary_golux (8.8k, T, wolfstar) What if Regulus Black, and not Severus Snape, ended up being the turncoat Potions Master of Hogwarts?A not!fic written in bullet points, ignoring the Deathly Hallows entirely because they annoy me.Beta by my immensely patient Best Beloved, Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw, and by the delightful starbirdrampant.
thoughts: this fic may be ooc at some points but it’s so funny that that makes up for it
spn
 Broadway Musical by Griftings (12.5k, M, destiel) This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.
thoughts: this fic is quite possibly the single most funniest thing i have ever read. like i was straight up cackling when i was reading some of the scenes.
  Down to Agincourt by seperis (1 million+, E, destiel) There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.
--Harry Takes the Field by bratfarrar (AO3 link here.)
thoughts: this fic is an absolute work of art. the characterization dean and cas and all of the ocs is astounding the world building is immaculate and the writing is so detailed and in depth. a fair warning though to the first time reader as this fic can get very confusing at times but trust me it is worth it. 
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True Love is a Lie pt. II
Request: Can I please have a part two to “True Love is a Lie”? The first one was so good! Can I have it where it’s been a couple of months and you’re dating Sam and Lucifer comes and asks you to take a walk through the woods while Sam and Dean follow behind, just in case, and you tell him that you’re pregnant with Sam’s child and can you name the child Diana from Wonder Woman and also include the young Diana Prince?
Read Part 1 here!
Word Count: 1892
Warnings: Angst, pregnancy, fluff, cursing, terrible writing, idk what else since it has been too long since I’ve read this, the format got messed up when i posted this from my google docs
Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Past Lucifer x Reader
A/N: I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Shit has been so crazy the past few months/years but I’ve got my mojo back! It has been so long since I’ve done anything but I am hoping that with this pandemic I can finally post and write all the requests I have been getting, sequels to my other stories, as well as new stuff I’ve been working on. I am still not taking any requests until I have finished those in my inbox. I love you all and I am so happy to be writing again!
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A year went by since your last heartwrenching encounter with Lucifer.  You nearly forgot about it because of your new life with Sam.  Sam always made sure to be attentive and by your side at a moment’s notice.  He made you trust in people again after your confrontation with Lucifer.  He knew after that experience you’d be broken, so he made sure to be there to mend the pieces.   
You did not want to dwell in the past and think yourself into a  depressive mood, especially with the Winchester boys and your new best friend, Jack, gone on a hunt.  You would’ve went with them had you not felt so nauseous and tired.  It was a typical salt-n-burn so you weren’t exactly missing out on anything important.  Nevertheless, Sam hated leaving you, especially with Lucifer still out there, but you were safe. 
Just as the thought of the moose enters your mind, your phone buzzes.
Sam: Hey baby girl, we’re on our way back.  Need anything?
You: Just some warm cuddles from my moose. 
You: Actually, I need oranges like right now. Not joking, I feel like I’ll die without oranges.
Sam: Is everything ok? You’ve never asked for oranges and I’ve never even seen you eat oranges since I’ve known you.
You: Yeah I’m fine, just a bit nauseous.  Also I’ve just been having a weird craving for oranges for some reason.  Oh well.
Sam: Hmm, I’m no doctor but maybe you should get checked out.  I worry about you, honey.
You: I know sweetie, but the doctor is expensive. It’s probably just the stomach flu or something.  Btw, how much longer?
Sam: Probably an hour, give or take 15 minutes.
You: Ok, Love you! See you soon!
Sam: Love you too! Can’t wait!
“Ok, so I have about an hour or so to check and see if my suspicions are correct.” You say aloud to yourself.
“What suspicions?” Cas suddenly appears out of nowhere, scaring you half to death.
“What the hell Cas?!” You all but screamed.
“Sorry, I thought you were praying to me.” Cas was never any good at lying to you.
“Umm, no I wasn’t just tell me why are you here?”
“I heard something on angel radio, and I needed to know if it is true.” He places a hand on your stomach.  “So it is true.”
“What? What is wrong with me?”
“(Y/N), your suspicions are right.  You’re six weeks pregnant.”
“How is that possible? Sam and I were so careful! What will he think or say? No, I can’t tell him. Not yet.”
With Sam and Dean still not home, you made Cas get a pregnancy test.  You trusted the angel’s words, but you needed concrete evidence.  You made Cas leave for a few days; you knew for sure that Cas wouldn’t be able to keep the secret.  The plus sign emerged with seconds to spare as Sam’s heavy footsteps could be heard approaching your shared room.
“(Y/N) I’m home!” Sam yelled as he collapsed onto the bed. You run out from the bathroom, pounce on him, and kiss all over his face.
“I missed you, Moose.”
“I missed you too, sweetheart.  I got the oranges you asked for.” 
“Thank you, baby…” You said as you chewed on the inside of your cheek.
“What’s wrong, baby girl?”
“Sam, have you ever thought about having kids?”
“Well yeah of course but… Isn’t it a little dangerous given our profession?”
“Yeah that’s true, but we’ve got out once, we can do it again.  Besides, I know I am safe when I’m with you and when I’m here in the bunker.”
“Enough with the chit chat, we have company.” Dean interrupts 
You and Sam follow Dean to the lighted table, sitting there was God himself, dressed oh so casually and a look of nervousness graced his face.  He twiddled his thumbs and a small smile made its way to his features as his eyes locked with yours.  
“Uh hehe, hey (Y/N), Sam, Dean, Jack.”
“What’s up, Chuck?” You said, holding onto Sam.
“Um, Lucifer asked me to tell you that he’s outside and would like to speak with you.” You grabbed onto Sam a little tighter.  
“I’ll talk to him, but I want Sam and Dean to stay close to me.  Jack should stay behind since it’s his father.”  
“He knows, he said that they could.”
You make your way outside and there he is, dressed in a nice suit and tie with a bouquet of (f/c) (f/f) in his right hand, but one thing was different: you couldn’t see his wings.  Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, but Sam gave a reassuring squeeze to your hand.  You began walking toward Lucifer, Sam and Dean close behind.  Lucifer handed you the bouquet of flowers and gave a quick peck to your knuckles.  This apparently didn’t sit well with Sam as he cleared his throat with anger. 
“Will you join me for a walk through the woods, (Y/N)?” Lucifer asked and you look to Sam and Dean. “Don’t worry, they can follow behind.”  
You all walk to the edge of the woods in silence, your heart beat faster with every step closer to the treeline.  Through your peripheral vision, you could see Sam clench and unclench his jaw.  He was just as nervous as you were, if not more so.  You and Lucifer finally enter the woods. Sam and Dean follow a minute behind to give you some form of privacy, while still able to barely make out your conversations.  
“First of all, I want to say I’m so sorry for what I did to you.  I should have asked for your permission and talked it through with you.” Lucifer says, breaking the silence.  
“It’s alright I guess. I did some research and I now understand that I would not have survived through labour.  However, that does not justify your actions, what you did really hurt me.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry.  I never meant to hurt my soulmate.”
“Soulmate?”
“Yes, you were my soulmate.  That’s why you were able to see my wings.”
“Then why can’t I see them now?”
“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about.”  There was a pained expression on his face, you’ve never seen the devil quite like this before.  “I had God make Sam your soulmate after what I had done to you.”
“This isn’t like you Lucifer, why would you do this?”
“I have to prove to you that I will always love you and do what’s best for you, even if it meant letting you go.” He sighed and placed a hand on your stomach. You could hear Dean hold Sam back as he spewed threats if Lucifer were to harm you.  
“Hurt the baby and I will not hesitate to pluck every feather from your wings.”
“I swear on my Father that I will protect yours and Sam’s child. It’s the least I could do to make up for everything.” He said as he kisses your forehead. “Name her Diana.” With that he disappears.
Sam finally breaks away from his brother and runs straight to you. He sees you place a hand protectively over your stomach and smile to it.The words of Lucifer finally make sense to him as he asks “You’re pregnant?”
You shake your head and smile, afraid to say anything.
“I am going to be a father!” Sam shouted with excitement as he picks you up and spins you around.  Tears of joy threaten to spill from both you and Sam as you lock eyes.  As he goes in for a kiss, you both are interrupted by Dean, yelling incoherently and excitedly about him being an uncle. You and Sam look at each other and giggle. It’s not a perfect family, but you can’t live without them.
Time Skip to Wedding Day (3 years later)
You look at your engagement ring then to your flower girl, Diana Prince Winchester, waddling down the aisle leaving flower petals in her wake.  She looked so adorable in her little white dress and you couldn’t help but to tear up.  The audience gasp and awe as they watch your daughter.
The wedding was surprisingly large for a pair of hunters.  Hordes of hunters (friends and some you’ve never seen before), the Winchesters’ monster “friends”, a few angels, and some family came from all over to see you two get married.  With God sponsoring your wedding, you expected something extravagant like a wedding at the Vatican. However, this was not the case.  The ceremony was held in a beautiful meadow that somehow matched your (f/c) wedding theme. The icing on top of the cake was Chuck himself officiating the wedding.  
The wedding march began and Gabriel walks you down the aisle.  Sam couldn't help but let a few tears slip as he watches his two beautiful girls in white.  Dean, the best man, elbows him slightly but he too couldn't help the tears.  Cas, Lucifer, and Jack all smile at you and then to Sam.  They know you two are perfect for each other.  You weren't phased by Sam asking Lucifer to be a groomsman. Besides, it was your idea to have him as Diana's godfather.  You finally reach the altar, and neither of you seem to care about the sniffling and hiccuping. You were finally marrying each other so let the waterworks happen. 
You were hardly paying attention until you hear Chuck say it's time to share your vows.  Sam clears his throat and begins: 
“Y/N, I've known you for as long as I can remember.  We've been fighting side by side since we were little and our dads would go on hunting trips together.  I would always tell myself, that one way or another I will marry this girl and protect her from any and every monsters.  You may have not been my soulmate then, but you are my soulmate now. And as your soulmate, I'm never letting you go.” There was a slight pause and an awkward cough from Lucifer. “I will love you until the end of time.” 
He slips the ring on your finger as you begin:  “I’d never thought I would be standing here with the infamous Sam Winchester, yet here I am with a ring on my finger.  You were my first best friend and my first crush and my first protector.  you’ve saved me from being broken in more ways than one, and for that I owe you my life.  While it is true we were not soulmates before, we are soulmates now and that’s all that matters.  I will love you forever until the end of time.” 
After the expression of the “I Dos,” you hear the words you’ve been dying to hear since you made it to the altar: “You may kiss the bride.” Sam grabs you by the waste and pulls you to him.  With the passion of a thousand suns, he kisses you and everything melts away.  It was just like the first time you two kissed.  
In the back of your mind, you could hear Lucifer whisper “I will always love you” but that didn’t matter to you anymore. You are Sam’s and he is yours.  Nothing will change that.
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The Pull (27/?)
Summary: The Ragnulf’s are one of the oldest lines of werewolves known. A gift from ancient times was given to the line. Though not all of the line will experience it. There are some who will experience a Pull. This Pull leads them to their true mate, a soulmate. The problem is, just because the wolf finds their true mate does not mean that they are the same for that person.
Author: @lettersofwrittencollective
Pairing: Stiles x Hale!Cousin OC (Reader)  
Word count: 2854
Warnings:
A/N: Okay so a couple things, this is going to be the last posting of The Pull for at least two weeks (Unless I can find time in between all the crazy to get a scene out). I have finals coming up and recently there was a family thing that has come up that needs my attention and may require more attention. In the meantime, PLEASE let me know what you think of this scene/ story! Let me know if you want to see more! Truthfully, interaction makes me so very happy and I love to hear from all of you! So, comment, reblog, send me smashed keyboards, anything works 😘
Also - I do not speak Japanse. I did want to use what was actually said in the show but could not find a translation in the time that I had. So, I went with a taunt. I will put what the taunt should be after the tag list. If someone who reads Japanese sees this and knows it’s wrong, please let me know I am happy to adjust/ fix.
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Panting, Stiles uses what he has left of battery on his phone to turn on the flashlight. The cold felt like it was seeping into his bones but his leg was starting to feel numb and he was worried about what that actually meant. Turning, he shined the light on his leg and found a bear trap in his leg. The sight terrified him and the scream that left him turned into a sob. What had happened? How had he gotten here?
The sound of scraping caught his attention and he moved the phones light to where the sound was coming from as it continued. When nothing was immediately visible, he shakily asked: “Who’s there?”
Merely watching the boy was becoming quite satisfying. It had been years since he’d been fed and then these children had decided to go ahead and make themselves a sacrifice. It had been the perfect opportunity to get back into the world.
He continued to move around the space, without responding to the boy, reveling in the horror, fear, and pain that radiated off him.
“I know you’re there, I can hear you.’
Sitting down, Void watched as the light moved through the created room. A smile formed on his features as he felt the boys panic rising. The light had almost passed him when it suddenly flashed back to his position.
“Who are you?”
Standing, he drew a kanji on the wall before stepping back into the shadow. As the fear spiked he feasted on the gift before him.
Stiles’ heart was beating as the figure had stepped away. Looking at what had been drawn, it took him a moment but he realized that it was the kanji for “self.” He wasn’t sure how he knew that but he did.
He watched as the seemingly innocent chalk then flew away in particles of the flashlight moved away. A feeling of dread crawled down his spine.
Watching the brunette from the shadows, he waited. This host was stronger than the hunter. Stronger than the previous host it would seem. There were qualities that even he wasn’t aware of and it made him giddy to know that some of those very qualities would be what would allow controlling the situation so much easier.
The best part? The pain of the supernatural was always more potent than the pain of the human.
You’d barely parked your bike when you were screaming for the sheriff as you ran into the police station as Scott called after you. You could feel your control slipping as you turned to growl at him.
The three of you must have made a sight because one of the deputies had a hand on his gun and was asking what you were up to and how he could help.
“We need to see the Sherriff,” Scott tried and when the deputy went to answer, you could tell he was going to give you some excuse as to why you couldn’t so you cut in and informed him that The Sheriff's son was missing.
The blood drained from the deputies face and you moved past him towards the offices.
Kindness. This is his dad, he’s going to care and it’s going to hurt him but he is cool but he has to keep his cool,  your instincts reminded you and you slowed to knock on the door.
Hearing the words come in, you pushed open the door with Scott and Isaac right behind you. You looked at Noah Stilinski and your heart broke. He was just a man whose son had managed to get caught up in the supernatural and who probably worries for him more than Stiles actually knows. This was going to be a nightmare come true for him.
You’re not sure what Isaac and Scott were thinking but neither of them said a word at first and the room must have been silent for too long because a moment later, Mr. Stilinski was looking up from his paperwork.  As soon as he saw the three of you, his face dropped.
“Where’s Stiles?” he asked, the fear in his voice ensuring you that you were right, this was his nightmare.
You want to answer, you really do but you know it would be better to hear it from Scott so you turn to look at him. Scott looks like he would rather not be the one to deliver the news but you watch as he falls into the role of the Alpha. Stepping past you, he tells the Sheriff that he’s not sure.
Mr. Stilinski’s heart stops for a moment before it resumes beating much faster. He takes a moment to breathe and get his heart beat under control and he calls out for Parrish.
A younger looking deputy comes into the room, “Sir?”
“We have a missing teenager.”
Parrish pulled out his notebook, “Who?”
“My son.”
Parish stopped and looked at the Sheriff and then the group of you before nodding his head, “I’ll get everyone gathered.” He turned around and left the office.
“Scott, what happened?”
Scott tells him about the phone call and going to the house. How Lydia had had one of her feelings and been there as well. How she had stayed behind because she said there was something going on in the room. He didn’t, however, tell him aout the terror in Stiles’ voice or how he’d begged that you all leave is dad out of it.
“But his jeep was still at the house?”
Scott shakes his head. Before Mr. Stilinski or Scott can say anything else, Parrish is back in the room letting him know that the deputies are all gathered.
You watch as Mr. Stilisnki changes right before your eyes. He’s still a terrified dad but he’s put that to the back and is the Sheriff. Stepping out of the room and in front of his group, he begins, “We have a missing 17-year-old caucasian male.” Immediately, every deputy in the room is writing down the information, “He’s 5’ 10”, about 150 lbs,  brunette hair.”
He then turns to you, “When was the last time you saw him?”
You had to think about it for a moment, “I think it was about 10ish. He was tired and had said he wanted to call it a night.”
You could see the look of confusion on some of the deputies faces and you were sure that someone probably thought that you had done something but you didn’t say anything.
“The missing boy is my son.”
From the reaction of the deputies, you figured that Parrish hadn’t said who the missing person was because you were sure that a few of them had whiplash.
“If his Jeep is gone, that’s where we start,” the Sheriff tells you and you’re not sure why he does though you suspect it’s so that he can stay focused on the task at hand. He then turns to the deputy from earlier and starts assigning tasks, “Parrish, let’s get an APB out on a blue 1980 CJ-5 Jeep. Cordova, I want a list of any kind of industrial basement or sub-level of any building that he could’ve gotten into while sleepwalking.”
The Sheriff then turns to the rest of the deputies, “It’s the coldest night of the year so far so if he’s out there barefoot in just a T-shirt, he could already be hypothermic. Let’s move fast, let’s think fast.”
As everyone gets up and moving, he turns to the three of you, “The three of you, come with me.”
Following him back into his office, he closes the door and looks at the three of you, “Is there anything you need to tell me that I can’t tell everybody out there?”
“Only that Lydia knew he was missing, but we already told you that.”
“Can she help find him?”
“Well, she’s working on it,” Isaac points out and while he doesn’t sound hopeful he does sound like he thinks she’s a good bet.
“Anything else?”
Scott points out that he called Allison for help.
“And I texted Derek and Peter, they’re going through the Iron Works right now to see if there’s any scent of him,” you said reading the message on your phone.
“Alright,” he says slowly, “Can you find him by scent?”
Before anyone can respond, Parrish is opening the door and informing that the jeeps been found. The Sheriff and a few deputies run out of the station and are in their squad cars. You see Scott get in one but hop on your bike and follow them, Isaac not far behind you.
You pull up to the hospital and see the jeep just as everyone else does and as soon as you’ve removed your helmet you get Stiles’ scent. The confusing part, though, is that it the strongest part of the scent seems to be coming from above you. Taking a deeper breath, you make sure that’s what it is.
The Sheriff’s already confirmed that he’s not in the jeep. They’re rushing inside and you run past Scott and the Sheriff towards the stairs. Running up them, you come to the roof and have to stop. That feeling of foreboding has increased and you’re sure, for some reason, that whatever is on the other side of the door isn’t gonna be Stiles.
Stepping out, you’re immediately hit by the scent and it makes you whine. Like most wolves, you’d never liked the scent but this was something different, it wasn’t just bitter it was heartwrenching. But, you kept walking onto the wolf. Even though you knew he wasn’t here you had to see it for yourself that Stiles wasn’t here before you walked away.
As you’re searching the rooftop, Derek shows up. Turning to him, you watch as he registers the scents as well. He begins to walk the roof, in the opposite direction of you.
“You notice it’s just his scent?”
You nod your head before you realize that Derek probably can’t see you, “Can you feel how tortured he was?”
“Why do you think that would be?”
You stop searching and come back to the middle of the roof with Derek. “I don’t know,” you whisper softly before closing you’re eyes and taking a deeper breath. As you do you open yourself up to the emotions.
There’s torment and anguish and you’re feeling them in a way that you haven’t before. It’s almost as if the building itself has absorbed the emotion and you’re about to let it go when suddenly there’s a voice, “Remember, Little Wolf, we are trying to save you.”
“Why would you say that?” you ask Derek, confused at his choice of words. Before he can respond, though, Scott and Isaac are on the roof.
“He’s not here,” you tell them.
“Not anymore at least,” Derek points out.
Scott clarifies that you two do, in fact, mean the whole building.
“He’s gone.”
Scott shakes his head and then turns to Isaac who is offering to go tell the Sheriff and nods his head before reminding him to find Allison as well. She apparently hasn’t picked up her phone.
Isaacs gone and you’re left on the roof with your cousin and Scott. Scott comes to stand next to Derek and you again close your eyes, trying to focus on the scent around you. It is Stiles’ scent but at the same time, there is something off about it.
Derek asks Scott if he notices the scent on the roof, how strong it is and then asks him if he’s ever heard of chemosignals. You have but you’re not sure what they are and you’re hoping Scott hasn’t heard of them because you’d really like to know. Derek, however, doesn’t give Scott a chance to respond before he says, “Chemical signals that communicate emotion. Just our sweat can give off anger, fear, or disgust.”
He tells Scott to take a deep breath and tell him what he feels. Scott follows instructions and you’re glad that he also recognizes the stress and anxiety. But he misses the terror and it’s then that you realize Derek hadn’t mentioned what he smelled just that he did smell things.
“Is there anything else either of you are getting?’ you ask them, unsure if you’re losing your mind. They both shake their head, Derek turns a questioning gaze on you but before either of you verbalize anything, Scott’s asking what Stiles’ had been doing on the roof.
“We don’t know, “ Derek says with a shake of his head, but there was definitely some kind of struggle.”
“With who?”
“Himself,” you say. Scott turns to look at you and you shake your head, “We need a game plan.”
“Isaacs going to find Allison to see if she can help more. Argent will come with them and he’s petty good at tracking,” Scott begins, “Lydia’s with Aiden at Stiles’ house to see if she can find anything in his room with all the strings. I’ll stick with the Sheriff and help him with any other leads he’s got. You said that Derek and Peter were checking the Iron Works earlier?”  
You nodded your head and looked at Derek, “We found nothing. Peter’s asking around downtown to see if anyone's seen anything or to see if he can catch a scent,”  he tells you guys and Scotts annoyed but nods in agreement anyways.
You figure that he just wants to find Stiles and figures that there’s no point in arguing it. It leaves just you and Derek.
“What are we not covering?” you ask.
Scott turns his gaze to you and the three of you have the same idea, “The high school, you two go check the high school.”
Nodding your head, you and Derek make your way out of the hospital pretty quickly and are, thankfully, not stopped by anyone on the way.  You follow Derek out of the lot on your bike.
He can tell that she’s worried but the boy has no idea, it will make the destruction all the sweeter. His phone’s dying and the little bit of light that he had is now disappearing from him. He watches as the boy tries to pull the bear trap off his leg again and he steps back out. If he’s going to get his feast, he needs to push this one to stay alive and reach his potential.
The sound must have caught his host's attention because he’s asking, “Who’s there?” and then screaming, “Who are you?”
Walking amongst the things his host has created, he responds, “私は彼女をあなたの手を使って破壊し、あなたがそれを理解したときにあなたが感じる悲しみを祝います”
Stiles doesn’t understand what the man before him is saying and he’s already made it clear but he just kept talking in the same language and Stiles is genuinely afraid that Scotts not gonna make it. That Natasha isn’t gonna make it and he can feel the tears form, “I don’t,” a sob breaks through, “I don’t understand,” he says as he pushes himself against the wall.
Suddenly, the creature with him is speaking in accented English, “Not who are you, Stiles. Who are we?”
Stiles tries to push himself up but the trap digs in and he lets out a pain filled grunt as he falls back. The creature doesn’t help him but continues, “It’s getting colder, Stiles. Did you notice, we stopped shivering?”  The creature sounds genuinely annoyed at that and Stiles has to stop and breathe for a moment before he realizes that his breathing is getting shallower.
“Do you know why that’s a bad sign?”
“It’s the body trying to conserve energy. It was my fifth-grade science report, hypothermia,” Stiles says as he tries to move his body some. He’s going to die in this basement it would seem.
“Our speech is starting to thicken. Then comes fatigue. Confusion. We’re going to die if we don’t get out of here. We have too many things to do to die, Stiles.”
There’s a taunting in the voice that irriates him and Stiles shakes his head, “Stop saying that. Stop saying we.”
The creature just ignores him, “We’re trying to keep you from freezing to death.” He sounds like he’s getting angrier when he says, “You better get up, Stiles.”
“How?!” he yells back and motions to his leg, “There’s a freaking steel-jawed trap on my leg!”
The creature is silent for a moment and then all Stiles sees are silver sharpened spiked teeth, “Is there?” comes the whisper.
Sure that he’s about to die, that his father is going to have to bury him next to his mother, Stiles begins sobbing. He turns his body to sit in a different position.
“Notice something different?” the creature asks. “It was on your right leg before wasn’t it?”
Stiles looks and sees that the trap is on his left leg, “No…” he murmurs softly. The creature asks him if he’s sure and he remembers it being on the right leg. But how can that be? He turns back to the voice, “What is this? What are you doing?”
“We are trying to save you, Stiles. We’re trying to save your life.”
-
-
-
The Taunt: I will destroy her using your hands and feast on your sorrow when you understand what you have done.
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Posted 26 May 2019
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luninosity · 5 years
Text
Okay! Time for a slightly longer Avengers: Endgame thoughts post!
First, I do really, really like the film overall, so let’s get that out of the way right now: I had moments of wanting to cheer, tearing up, all that, and I want to see it again immediately.
Having said that...I do have Some Thoughts, which are not 100% positive.
Spoiler warnings, obviously! Only read if you’ve seen/don’t mind spoilers!
First, the AWESOME. OH MY GOD SO MUCH AWESOME.
--STEVE IS WORTHY OH HELL YES *screams in delight* And Thor’s genuine excitement about this! So perfect!
--STEVE ROGERS STANDING ON THAT BATTLEFIELD FACING DOWN THANOS’S WHOLE ARMY. This is a brilliant Steve Rogers character moment, it’s a brilliant narrative moment, it’s a gorgeous shot visually, it’s EVERYTHING -
--AND THEN EVERYONE ELSE SHOWING UP AT HIS BACK, YES YES YES, I WANTED TO CHEER AND CRY, LOOK AT THEM ALL TOGETHER AND FORMING UP BEHIND STEVE AND “AVENGERS ASSEMBLE” AND *screams more*
--Valkyrie getting to be king! She already has ideas for change! It’s a small moment but so satisfying, seeing where she is now versus her introduction in Ragnarok.
--”AMERICA’S ASS”
--actually everything about that Steve-on-Steve fight scene, Chris Evans’ delivery of every single line, the name-drop of Bucky being what worked
--I actually really love pretty much all the time hops, and Tony going with “Howard Potts” as his alias is both hilarious and heartwarming
--Morgan! Tony being a Good Dad! 3000!
--cheeseburgers, oh god my heart, this moment actually made me tear up
--Tony’s death felt well-earned, satisfying, and in-character, and that “I am Iron Man” - oh god yes, see above about in-character and also heartwarming and heartwrenching simultaneously
--Sebastian Stan continues to be very pretty
--Thor doesn’t magically get his old pirate-angel body back - I have a LOT of other less positive thoughts about this representation, which we’ll get into in a sec - the thing is, I do like this one aspect of it, because he doesn’t need to be magically “healed” of his fatness or anything like that; he’s chubby and damn heroic and still good at being a hero, and speaking as someone who always struggles with weight, that was actually really lovely
--Paul Rudd continues to be weirdly superhumanly likeable
--Gamora’s reaction to Star-Lord
--Nebula! Karen Gillan is fantastic throughout, and so central to the storyline
--Sam taking the shield! I love this - Bucky’s tired of the fight, which Steve knows; Sam has the heart and the will, and he deserves it, and Bucky’s clearly fine with that, and I’m so excited to see Sam Wilson as Cap
--just everything overall felt so fulfilling, like, yes, this is good, thank you, MCU, thank you
The Ambivalent (sure, yeah, okay)
--Clint and Nat: I actually really like Nat’s choice and sacrifice, doing it knowingly, and it also feels in-character for her as a dedicated protector; I don’t quite get why we’re pushing Clint to the forefront so much in this movie when he’s been so absent, and I dislike the implication that he somehow has more to live for because he’s got a biological family, versus Nat’s found family
--Thor’s killing of Thanos and the “I went for the head” and also the arm - yeah, look, you learned something! But also...it really just makes you *not* doing that in Infinity War seem...even dumber. But at least you learned, I guess?
--the Girl Power(tm) moment in the final battle. You know, the super-unsubtle obvious shot. Like, part of me went YES!! and another part of me cringed because WOW, that felt...not at all organic and incredibly staged
--Steve Rogers part one: I don’t actually mind that he took a side trip and saw Peggy and got some closure. It’s a nice nod to the end of First Avenger. And I love Steve getting to retire - not die - as Cap: he can still do so much as himself, maybe art or activism or support groups or all of the above, and he deserves a chance to find out who Steve Rogers is when not Captain America. Having said that, this is ambivalent because I really don’t like how it was done. More on that later.
--I love that Harley showed up at Tony’s funeral, but at first neither I nor Awesome Husband knew who the random person even was. We figured it out, but if you don’t know, it’s really unclear
--Carol. She’s wonderful and amazing in every scene she’s in, but also...weirdly...underused. Were they afraid she was too powerful?
--maybe I’m just kinda over Chris Pratt, I don’t know, but a lot of his dialogue didn’t land right for me? Clunky. Trying too hard to be funny? Maybe.
--I don’t really understand how time travel works in the MCU, but whatever, let’s just roll with it
--Loki! Fantastic to see again, also underused, but I’m very curious to see what’s next
The Not So Positive
--ALL the Thor fat jokes. This is a big one, and it pulled me out of the movie as I was watching it, as this kept happening. It’s obviously a serious manifestation of his trauma and PTSD, and yet pretty much every single character cracks a joke, and no one actually tries to support him. I’m...not a fan of that. (Side note: having just rewatched Infinity War, there’re fat jokes there too, about Quill. Do the writers/directors have an issue with fatness?)
--after Nat dies, there’s a whole lot of scenes of Rooms Full of Only Dudes, and Primarily White Dudes, at that, directing the narrative
--speaking of, how about a memorial service for Nat?
--Steve Rogers part two. (We’ll get to Steve and Bucky in the next point; this one’s about the time travel.) Like I said above, I don’t mind him wanting to take a side trip and get closure; he deserves that. And if I’m understanding MCU time travel right, he created an alternate branch, so “our” reality still all happened and everything. So. My first problem here is that we can assume he spent that alternate reality still Being A Hero - fighting evil, saving Bucky, getting into a happy triad of Steve/Peggy/Bucky if you want to imagine that - but we’re not shown any of that. We’re shown him...suddenly pining a lot for Peggy, which feels odd anyway: part of Steve’s arc has been him finding his place in this new century and his new found family. And then we’re just shown the dance. SHOW US STEVE AS A HERO IN ALL TIMELINES, PLEASE. But I digress. If this is a branching timeline, the way Steve shows back up on the bench shouldn’t work. He shouldn’t just live through all the years and wander over to the bench at the right time, because he’s not in the right timeline for that. (Maybe there’s something we’re not shown, like him tinkering with his time travel GPS? If that’s the case it needed to be much clearer.) There’s also no particular reason he needs to get or stay old (maybe he wants to experience aging, idk?) - we’ve established that we can de-age, for example, Scott. And Steve Rogers is a stubborn kid who will always want to be able to fight whatever might be coming - even if he’s still retiring as Cap, doesn’t he want another few decades with his current family - Bucky, Sam, Clint, Morgan Stark, everybody? Now he’s...much older than everyone, physically and mentally, and I guess that can still work but...it’s going to be a whole strange adjustment for him and for everyone...but anyway, the time travel as it’s shown seems to...break their own rules, and also I don’t like how suddenly emphasized his desire for Peggy is in this film, and I don’t like having to just sort of...guess about what Steve does in that timeline. (Also, side note: why is *only* Steve returning all the stones? Wouldn’t having a partner be helpful? In case things go wrong, as things so often do? AS WE’VE SEEN IN THIS VERY MOVIE.)
--STEVE AND BUCKY. This is the other big one. We all know I am a Steve/Bucky fan, but honestly I’m not even factoring that in here. It’s not about shipping. It’s about the fact that Steve’s narrative arc, Steve’s character arc, has been so entwined with Bucky up to now - and here they barely interact. The person Steve lost - the person Steve keeps losing - is Bucky. The person Steve shares memories of couch cushions and moving in together and Sarah Rogers’ name with - is Bucky. We’ve had to the end of the line, we’ve had even when I had nothing I had Bucky, we’ve had (paraphrasing here, I know it’s not an exact quote) he said Bucky’s name and suddenly I was a kid in Brooklyn again, we’ve had all of Winter Soldier and the relevant parts of Civil War, we’ve established over and over, canonically, that Steve and Bucky save each other. Bucky knows Steve even through brainwashing. Steve fights to save and protect Bucky. They love each other. (Friends love each other. It’s okay to show that.) They sacrifice for each other. And that relationship - in a film that’s meant to be a culmination, a wrapping-up, and closure for Steve Rogers - is almost entirely absent. And I’m not okay with that, emotionally and also as a narrative choice for Steve’s arc - like, as a writer (and English professor!) myself, this legitimately bothers me. I don’t feel fulfilled and I don’t feel happy about it. Especially not - as in the article I reblogged a bit ago - when we’re given other reunions, like Tony’s joy at getting “the kid!” back, with real pathos. I know the film’s already over three hours, choices have to be made, etc. But we could’ve had fewer fat jokes and a few more seconds of Steve and Bucky interacting, y’know? I just...I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel good or right.
Okay! Those are my thoughts.
Once again, I really really like the movie overall, and overall I am left happy and wanting to watch it again. That’s true. There’re just...some things.
I may or may not attempt to write my fix-it fic. There are so many already and I’m not sure what I could add that’s new, and I think I still don’t understand MCU time travel. But I also really want to deal with some of these emotions. We’ll see.
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themomsandthecity · 6 years
Text
A Letter to My Daughter About My Divorce
Dear Daughter: In just a week or so, you will be 4. Your life is full of wonder and fun. You love princesses, fairies, My Little Pony, The Muppets, drawing, singing, playing pretend, dancing, chocolate, stickers, books, and Snoopy. You tell me your opinion on everything, yet still beg me to carry you from time to time and petition to sleep in my bed with me. You still believe in fairy tales and that one day you could legitimately (in your mind) marry your father, yet are already faced with big life questions like, why doesn't Daddy live here anymore? You are old enough to remember Daddy was once in the house when it was the three of us, a little family. You are young enough still that one day this will be a distant memory, and this comforts me. At times it may seem as if the three of us is just a photograph and nothing more, although that's not the case. We are still intertwined, even if we aren't all in the same house. Choosing to divorce was heartwrenching for your father and me. It wasn't just that we had to acknowledge how all our years invested in each other didn't matter. That we didn't work no matter how much we tried. It wasn't just the financial devastation to both of us and the nights spent sitting down at the kitchen table trying to figure out who would have you on what days. It was knowing that no matter what, a part of you will always wish we could all be together and knowing that no matter how hard we wish, we can never make that happen for you. And what mother or father likes going to bed at night knowing she or he can't make a child's wish come true? None of us. Going through the divorce process this past year when you turned 3 meant blowing up the idea of fairy tales in many ways early on for you. And while divorce is the only choice for us at this point, and we will hopefully move on to create lovely blended families for you, it's hard sometimes knowing we put a bullet in your heart. Sometimes the right thing to do isn't always the easiest or most fun thing to do. When you look back at old wedding photos of us, you won't remember the people you see in those images. They will look like aliens to you, but indeed, we were so happy. You will probably wonder how we got from that point to divorce until you get older and see that your dad and I can't help it. We operate on two different planets, but really, I wish I could give you one easy answer to explain, but it is a whole host of things. For now, just know that I will always have love in my heart for your father. He is a wonderful father who wants so much for you to be happy. We do everything in our power to align our goals when it comes to you, even if we fight sometimes. At the end of the day, though, know that there was no greater joy in our lives than bringing you into the world. You might get the notion that you were at fault for our divorce. It's common for kids to feel this way. Let me nip that in the bud right now, though. You are perfectly perfect and you. You had nothing to do with our divorce. Even if you flew down and sprinkled magic pixie dust on us, your father and I do not work. Magic isn't strong enough to make this happen. The divorce has everything to do with who we are, what we both value, how compatible we aren't . . . and nothing to do with how amazing you are. Even if you screamed all day long, every day . . . set our home on fire . . . beat us until we were blue . . . the divorce is not one inch your fault. You are obsessed with fairy tales and still believe that the prince saves the princess in distress. As you get older, you will learn fast that you are no woman in distress, nor do you want to be! No one but you needs to save yourself. Until then, though, keep believing in happy endings and happily ever afters. Keep hoping for pots of gold at the ends of rainbows. Dream on about the ability to fly, unicorns, magical kisses, and talking trolls. Don't ever part with your love for the silver lining . . . the wish fulfilled. There is everything right with dreaming. Keep imagining, my little one. Never, ever bottle all your happiness up in one person. When I met your father, I believed I was not a worthy person. Love and happiness were for better people, not me. And when he chose me, I believed he was better than I was. I believed I was lucky someone decided to love me, rather than believe I was worth that love. I felt like Cinderella when I saw your dad, a Prince Charming look-alike with a sweet, old-fashioned demeanor. I thought I needed to be "fixed" up when really I was just fine as I was. Please always believe that you are wonderful. No one else gets to decide if you are worthy enough. No one else gets to put a price tag or value judgment on how good you are as a person. Only you set that standard. Only you decide how worthy you are and what you deserve. And when it comes to finding happiness, let another person be the icing on your cake, but never let that person, man or woman whomever you choose, be the whole cake. Do not rely on someone else to make your life better. That's your job. Build a life that makes you happy and then when you feel you have met someone who will add a splash of color and joy into your world, invite that person in but remember: you can rescind the invitation. People don't get to stay forever if they can't be good to you. Protect your heart and believe in yourself, and if you find the company you keep doesn't share your vision, find better company. I already know that you are a strong woman. You are one of the only 2-year-olds I know that could tell a 40-year-old man that it "wasn't his turn yet." You are afraid of no one, and you're tough. There were times when I thought, "Oh, wouldn't it be nice if you were a little more sensitive like me," and then I corrected myself and said, "No. Thank God you aren't sensitive like me." You are perfectly yourself and will be yourself without apologizing. You will not waver on what you think or believe, even if the person next to you wants you to. Men will be afraid of this. Too bad for them. Never, ever alter who you are to please anyone else. There is only one "you," and we love you this way. Daughter, you may wish in your mind for all of us to be together again, and I tell you, be glad we are not. Your parents are happier apart, and there is no burden worse than living under a roof with two miserable parents. It may stink at times and having two homes is no small feat, but we promise that while this may not feel like a happy ending today, a few tomorrows from now into the future, it will be. Sometimes, even I forget this. You may see me cry here and there, although I try to put on a brave face. Always know that it's OK to cry and it's OK to grieve, but always move forward and never stop believing. Love, Your Perfectly Imperfect Mother http://bit.ly/2MiD0d3
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themomsandthecity · 7 years
Text
A Letter to My Daughter About My Divorce
Dear Daughter: In just a week or so, you will be 4. Your life is full of wonder and fun. You love princesses, fairies, My Little Pony, The Muppets, drawing, singing, playing pretend, dancing, chocolate, stickers, books, and Snoopy. You tell me your opinion on everything, yet still beg me to carry you from time to time and petition to sleep in my bed with me. You still believe in fairy tales and that one day you could legitimately (in your mind) marry your father, yet are already faced with big life questions like, why doesn't Daddy live here anymore? You are old enough to remember Daddy was once in the house when it was the three of us, a little family. You are young enough still that one day this will be a distant memory, and this comforts me. At times it may seem as if the three of us is just a photograph and nothing more, although that's not the case. We are still intertwined, even if we aren't all in the same house. Choosing to divorce was heartwrenching for your father and me. It wasn't just that we had to acknowledge how all our years invested in each other didn't matter. That we didn't work no matter how much we tried. It wasn't just the financial devastation to both of us and the nights spent sitting down at the kitchen table trying to figure out who would have you on what days. It was knowing that no matter what, a part of you will always wish we could all be together and knowing that no matter how hard we wish, we can never make that happen for you. And what mother or father likes going to bed at night knowing she or he can't make a child's wish come true? None of us. Going through the divorce process this past year when you turned 3 meant blowing up the idea of fairy tales in many ways early on for you. And while divorce is the only choice for us at this point, and we will hopefully move on to create lovely blended families for you, it's hard sometimes knowing we put a bullet in your heart. Sometimes the right thing to do isn't always the easiest or most fun thing to do. When you look back at old wedding photos of us, you won't remember the people you see in those images. They will look like aliens to you, but indeed, we were so happy. You will probably wonder how we got from that point to divorce until you get older and see that your dad and I can't help it. We operate on two different planets, but really, I wish I could give you one easy answer to explain, but it is a whole host of things. For now, just know that I will always have love in my heart for your father. He is a wonderful father who wants so much for you to be happy. We do everything in our power to align our goals when it comes to you, even if we fight sometimes. At the end of the day, though, know that there was no greater joy in our lives than bringing you into the world. You might get the notion that you were at fault for our divorce. It's common for kids to feel this way. Let me nip that in the bud right now, though. You are perfectly perfect and you. You had nothing to do with our divorce. Even if you flew down and sprinkled magic pixie dust on us, your father and I do not work. Magic isn't strong enough to make this happen. The divorce has everything to do with who we are, what we both value, how compatible we aren't . . . and nothing to do with how amazing you are. Even if you screamed all day long, every day . . . set our home on fire . . . beat us until we were blue . . . the divorce is not one inch your fault. You are obsessed with fairy tales and still believe that the prince saves the princess in distress. As you get older, you will learn fast that you are no woman in distress, nor do you want to be! No one but you needs to save yourself. Until then, though, keep believing in happy endings and happily ever afters. Keep hoping for pots of gold at the ends of rainbows. Dream on about the ability to fly, unicorns, magical kisses, and talking trolls. Don't ever part with your love for the silver lining . . . the wish fulfilled. There is everything right with dreaming. Keep imagining, my little one. Never, ever bottle all your happiness up in one person. When I met your father, I believed I was not a worthy person. Love and happiness were for better people, not me. And when he chose me, I believed he was better than I was. I believed I was lucky someone decided to love me, rather than believe I was worth that love. I felt like Cinderella when I saw your dad, a Prince Charming look-alike with a sweet, old-fashioned demeanor. I thought I needed to be "fixed" up when really I was just fine as I was. Please always believe that you are wonderful. No one else gets to decide if you are worthy enough. No one else gets to put a price tag or value judgment on how good you are as a person. Only you set that standard. Only you decide how worthy you are and what you deserve. And when it comes to finding happiness, let another person be the icing on your cake, but never let that person, man or woman whomever you choose, be the whole cake. Do not rely on someone else to make your life better. That's your job. Build a life that makes you happy and then when you feel you have met someone who will add a splash of color and joy into your world, invite that person in but remember: you can rescind the invitation. People don't get to stay forever if they can't be good to you. Protect your heart and believe in yourself, and if you find the company you keep doesn't share your vision, find better company. I already know that you are a strong woman. You are one of the only 2-year-olds I know that could tell a 40-year-old man that it "wasn't his turn yet." You are afraid of no one, and you're tough. There were times when I thought, "Oh, wouldn't it be nice if you were a little more sensitive like me," and then I corrected myself and said, "No. Thank God you aren't sensitive like me." You are perfectly yourself and will be yourself without apologizing. You will not waver on what you think or believe, even if the person next to you wants you to. Men will be afraid of this. Too bad for them. Never, ever alter who you are to please anyone else. There is only one "you," and we love you this way. Daughter, you may wish in your mind for all of us to be together again, and I tell you, be glad we are not. Your parents are happier apart, and there is no burden worse than living under a roof with two miserable parents. It may stink at times and having two homes is no small feat, but we promise that while this may not feel like a happy ending today, a few tomorrows from now into the future, it will be. Sometimes, even I forget this. You may see me cry here and there, although I try to put on a brave face. Always know that it's OK to cry and it's OK to grieve, but always move forward and never stop believing. Love, Your Perfectly Imperfect Mother http://bit.ly/2yrBeCd
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