#hey thanks for reading my rambles!

[localtelephonebooth]

Thoughts on Kieran’s relationship with Ogerpon as a previously obsessive teenager:

(I did not proof read this. I just woke up, had the urge, and now it’s here.)

Kieran, to me, is a very relatable character. He is a shy, and quiet teenager in a small town. He lacks friendships and possibly meaningful connections with those who do spend time with him. He’s probably isolated due to the fact that he lacks a phone. Any friends he does make are likely school based only. So, Kieran latches on to anything he can to feel less alone in life. And of course he latches onto Ogerpon. Ogerpon is just like him. A sad “monster” all isolated and alone in the mountains. I’m certain that Kieran has fantasized about meeting Ogerpon and getting into wild adventures with her. I did the same thing with characters I enjoyed.

Princess Luna, for example (sorry to whiplash anyone with that), was a character I heavily related to. She was alone and isolated due to her previous actions. She struggled with fitting in and having a healthy relationship with her sister for awhile. To say I didn’t form an obsession with a character who understood my feelings would be a lie. I think Kieran is the same.

He became obsessed with Ogerpon. He become obsessed with the ideas he crafted of him and Ogerpon. In a way, that fantasy was VERY real to him. So when we come around and lie about meeting Ogerpon, and inevitably become friends with her behind his back, of course he freaks out! We stole his fantasy of him and Ogerpon! And that’s the key point here that people tend to not realize. We didn’t steal Ogerpon from Kieran, we just stole his fantasy and made it our reality.

With my obsession with princess Luna (again, whiplash), if anyone said they loved princess Luna it was a fucking attack on me. Princess Luna was my best friend, and she could only love me! Everyone else was just a jealous thief.

As an adult looking back on this mindset, it’s horribly embarrassing. It’s a mindset I carried into my real life, when I actually started making friends, that ruined so much for me. I lost friends because I was so angry that my fantasies were not reciprocated. I really do think Kieran does the same. He grows sad and frustrated over what happened with Ogerpon. His fantasy is just a fantasy, and that’s fucking with him. So naturally, he finds a new fantasy to, hopefully in his mind, make a reality. And so he chose battling and winning against you. The thing we used to “steal” Ogerpon away from him (Even though Kieran technically suggested battling for Ogerpon, I don’t doubt he used it to rationalize why she didn’t want to come with him). To him, being the best battler will solve everything. Kieran will get his revenge, he’ll finally be recognized, everyone can’t lie to him because they fear or admire him, and he’ll prove to Ogerpon he was the right choice.

.

Now, I want to say something about Kieran. A detail that, for whatever reason, people don’t like to acknowledge: He’s just a kid.

I’m not saying “He’s a widdle baby. He can do no harm!” No, Kieran’s an asshole. He became a bully. I can have empathy for his emotions, but not excuse his actions. He’s a dumb and entitled teenager with issues. And, quite obviously, he doesn’t really have a way to deal with his issues in a healthy manner (seriously, his school is based solely on battling. Anyone who’s going or gone to a specialized school can understand how toxic people can get in that type of environment. And don’t even get me started on the incompetence of the adults in Kieran’s school).

Kieran is a teenage boy growing up right now. He’s got a lot to work through, and a lot of people he’s gotta confront about his behavior. He was an asshole, a bully, and genuinely a bad person for minute. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t growing past that. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve recognition for his growth. You can recognize someone has changed and not forgive them.

Kieran is a really intriguing character and holds a valuable lesson in obsession. And I really wish people would recognize that he’s not just an irredeemable prick or an innocent little guy. He’s a kid learning. He’s going to make really stupid and bad mistakes. Just like how I, and probably you reading this, did.

Anyways, hopefully we see him interact with the Area Zero buddies. I think those three have amazing lessons that Kieran can learn from. Maybe Kieran can teach them a few things too!

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #the teal mask #the indigo disk #pokémon #pokemon kieran #kieran #ogerpon #hey thanks for reading my rambles! #I’m really hoping with the epilogue that gamefreak doesn’t use the peach to excuse his actions #but I think the peach only enhances negative emotions that were already there #idk we’ll have to see! #hopefully the writing isn’t too incoherent

[minzart]

I knew Alastor was gonna grow to be the dad figure, it's a given with mentors... but... HAVING A DUET WITH THE BIOLOGICAL DEPRESSED FATHER THAT ACTUALY WANTS TO RECONECT/CONECT AS A CUSTODY BATTLE WAS NOT ON THE BINGO LIST HOLD ON-

#hh #hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel #alastor be treating that duet too personal as someone who had like... zero interactions that can cout as character growth in dad direction #with charlie... i knew he was gonna go there but this is a little too suden but hey we take what is given. the songs a bop #and we do not talk about my 3am crack theory of 4y ago of alastor and lilith #deer in a leach it is very blatantly lilith's work. now. why is he. what was the deal #and i will actualy laugh if alastor did lose to vox and yet the tv is still bitter about a no. their show off makes it seem that alastor le #vox win. but it would be the plot twist of the century if it was actualy a draw and he would be dead if liloth didn't intervened or somethi #i'm rambling #also veggie an ex-exterminator! noone waa surprised and that's a GOOD THING THANK GOD #also why isn't lilith's face in that flashback👁👁.... i'm probably reading too much into it it's midnight and i'm unwell

[thyandrawrites]

Stop saying that Reo refers to his dynamic with Nagi as just a business partner, that's not factually true

Or well, it's out of context and only partially true

I keep seeing this argument brought up in nagireo meta as a way to bring ammo to the interpretation that Reo sees their dynamic as transactional while Nagi cares for him as a person, using the Barou scene as a frame of reference, but. As someone who read the whole manga in japanese, fun fact! There's another time where their relationship is brought up with a descriptor before that scene, and it's in fact Reo who refers to Nagi as his partner first. Not a business partner, just a partner. Someone you spend time with.

To be precise, the word he uses is 相棒 ("aibou"), which, second fun fact, is the same word Bachira used to describe his relationship with Isagi (in the scene where he says "I love you, partner". Just stressing that cause I find it amusing lol). In Bachira's case, this word was officially translated as "buddy". It basically means partner/companion/comrade. As you can see, there's no exploitative subtext, unless you're willing to read that into Bachira's line as well.

This scene was in chapter one of episode Nagi, so it's Reo who sets the tone of their buddying relationship. Nagi just follows.

When Barou accuses him of being a mindless slave that only follows Reo's orders then, Nagi's prompt response is to call himself "Reo's partner, not a slave", using the word 相方 ("aikata") this time. As you might have noticed, it's almost the same word! Same first kanji, almost no differences in nuance as far as the meaning goes. This one too means partner, companion.

So, where does the confusion come from? Well, the thing is, Reo does call Nagi his business partner, too! A whole total of once, and it made more sense in context. The reason why this got more attention than the line in chapter one, I believe, is because Reo says it shortly after Nagi candidly called him his aikata, so it jumps out more and makes Reo sound so much colder than he is.

But again, context!

Given how Reo's the first to put a friendly label on their relationship, clearly the intent here is not to tell us he secretly only sees Nagi as an asset whose potential he's investing in. More like, this line was in response to this,

Nagi's ego rearing its head at long last, and him taking the initiative in a play for the first time. Here he calls him his business partner because Nagi's finally rising to meet him as an equal, instead of simply trudging along because of Reo's pushing. It's Nagi who requests an assist, and Reo enthusiastically provides it, and remarks upon it with this term. But, and please note, in all the three different occurrences, no matter the word in kanji, the furigana always spells out "partner", cause that's what's the focus

So please stop saying that Reo doesn't give the same weight to their friendship as Nagi does, that's just untrue. They both obviously care about each other, and their actions show it better than their words, tbh.

I guess one might still overanalyse the fact that they don't use the same exact term for partner, and wonder what the difference is, as one (me) does. This is what I found (with a japanese source for more accuracy):

「相棒」と「相方」の違いとしては、「相棒」には「ひとつの目的を達成するために共に助け合う相手」といったニュアンスがあり、「相方」には「人柄や性格を理解し合いながら、苦楽を共にする相手」といったニュアンスがあります。

Inputting this into a machine translator cause it's 1am and I don't have the brainpower to translate it myself:

The difference between "buddy" and "partner" is that "buddy" (=aibou) has the nuance of "a partner who helps each other to achieve a goal," while "partner"(=aikata) has the nuance of "a partner who understands each other's personality and character and shares hardships and joys.

Which I feel is a much better distinction that makes a lot more sense with their respective motivators/feelings. Reo sees Nagi as the person at whose side he'll be able to win the world cup, thus it makes a lot of sense for him to use aibou. Nagi gave him the confidence to think himself world class despite his father's scorn. He's his partner in crime, so to speak. While Nagi sees Reo as the first person who saw past his weirdness, understood him better than most, and as the companion he can always circle back to and tell him about the joys and hassles hardships he went through

Signed: a pedantic nagireo fan who thinks they're both the same shade of simp

#Nagireo #Nagi seishirou #Mikage reo #Episode nagi #Bllk thoughts #I have been stewing on this for weeks now #I was planning on writing a better post on it #But hey this is what you get #If you want to laugh I could still expand on this topic #Cause when I was digging in my liguistic research hole I found an article #Dissecting how japanese speakers feel about calling their romantic partner aikata #And some of the stuff it said was amusing when you read it through the lenses of nagi calling reo his romantic partner with that word lol #Anyway I'll stop rambling now thanks for reading #They live rent free in my head

[cacaocheri]

shout out to all my friends and mutuals and followers who interact with me and put kind notes in the tags and drop by my inbox and send me messages. you guys are so so appreciated and my heart is full. thank you for existing thank you for putting love in the world. it is seen it is known

#my heart is very full right now #so many people have been messaging me lately and sending me funny memes #and reaching out and being like 'hey! i wanted to befriend you! so i thought id send a message!' #it is so appreciated #and i want everyone to know how appreciated they are!!! #but there are so many people and i cant send an individualized note to everyone (or maybe i can...) #but for now #have this textpost #i want to cast my net wide #and i want everyone to feel this love #if youre reading this i love you #if youre reading this thank you for being loved #thank you thank you thank you #i hope everyone who needs to see this sees this #cherry rambles

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

fire and the thud came on my spotify shuffle while me and my sister were listening to music this afternoon, and at the end of it she turns to me and goes “who was that? the lyrics sound like the kind of thing you’d write” and honestly i think it’s one of my favourite unintentional compliments i’ve ever received

#the fact that she’s been reading my writing since we were both kids and knows that side of me better than anyone too #idk it just made it really hit with that bit more weight #also something about it was weirdly validating #because like that whole album has such a special place in my heart #i have never heard anything that connects me so fundamentally with my creativity in the way humbug does #and so to have someone who knows nothing about am go ‘hey these lyrics remind me of the way your mind works’ #when hearing those songs for the first time sometimes felt like someone had reached into my brain #was just #yeah #i don't even know actually #i'm not trying to claim i can write like alex btw #i'm not delusional lol #but i do hear echoes of myself and the way i connect with creativity so often in his writing #which is i think why i connect with it so much #even if i express that creativity differently #(and with less skill) #sorry i'm just rambling at this point #i feel like i'm not explaining this well at all but my brain is so foggy rn #so i'm going to shut up now and go back to my book #thanks/apologies to anyone who's read their way though this whole ramble #humbug #lulu posts

[oh-gh0st]

im normal

#ghost's doodles #ghosts rambles #hey. whoiever sent that i am THANKING U #for not having him directly say i love u. u are reading my mind like a BOOK #sopt u know i wouldnt burn this. id pin it up somewhere and look at it everyday #and the fact he catches himself. GOT DO U WANT ME TO DIEEEEEEE #take ur clothes off. now #<- who said that

[waterfallofspace]

Smoke In The Breeze, You In My Lungs.

The one where V/ash gives W/olfwood a gift, and W/olfwood gives V/ash a show. Feat. sneezy W/olfwood, and smitten V/ash. (Shipped, though not entirely ‘dating’, just more like ‘will be dating.’ Pre-dating. Also known as head over heels for each other, secretly). Also there’s totally a few not so secret moments about it~ 

First time attempting T/rigun S/tampede, so the characters voices are still new to me, hopefully this will be an acceptable addition to the AMAZING collection of V/ashwood fics already on here! For anyone bothering to read this, thank you~ Hope you enjoy~~

(References to smoking and swearing, incase you don’t like those) 

Characters: V/ash, W/olfwood, and a surprisingly cool desert night.  Word Count: 3.5k ~~~~~~~

The first time Vash remembered seeing Wolfwood smoke was almost immediately after meeting him. Since then, he seemed to always be either stuffing a cigarette between his teeth, crushing one on the ground, or somewhere in between. Despite this, cigarettes remain just as expensive as always, and Wolfwood remains the same short on cash grifter. Turns out addiction doesn’t pay for itself.  That’s why when Vash saw the pack of cigarettes sitting on the counter of a bar they had passed through on their last round of plant repairs, he had asked the man they were attached to where he’d found them. Turns out, there was a peddler in this town that sold rare and exotic types. Vash had gotten his money together and managed to afford a single pack. Tonight was the first time since then that the opportunity had presented itself to offer the gift without too much explanation needed as to its meanings.  “Hey, Nicho-” Vash starts, a light shove in response nearly sending him over the edge of the rock they find themselves balanced on. “Watch it Blondie, I told you, unless we’re alone, it’s Wolfwood.” Vash lets their eyes meet, before gesturing to the desert around them, barren aside from the car they’d ‘borrowed’ for this little trip. “Oh, yes, of course, I must have forgotten about the invisible forces watching us from- ouch! Okay, okay, sorry.”  The laughter in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed, a sharp smile in response forming on Wolfwood’s face. His smiles always had this edge to them, as if simply a touch from his lips would be enough to slice you open. Staring at him in the moonlight, Vash nearly thought about testing the theory. “Hey, blondie?” “Hmm?” “I assumed you had an end to that sentence you started before? Unless it was just a veiled attempt at getting yourself sent careening off a real high rock for the fun of it?” “Right, sorry. Yeah, I just… here.” Vash reached into his pocket, pulling out the pack of cigarettes and sticking them in Wolfwood’s hands, not missing the baffled look that slipped across the normally fixed features. “As payment, for that bread you spotted me the other day.” “You mean… the piece of bread that we got as payment for the job…?” Vash feels his hand graze the back of his neck before he even registers that he’s moved it. “W-well… I mean I guess… just consider it a gift then!” Wolfwood looks like he’s planning to say more, but once his eyes have finished tracing Vash’s face, he’s decided against it. Settling instead for flashing him a smirk, and pulling out the first one. Sticking it between his teeth, Wolfwood leans towards him. “Light me up, blondie.” A blush spreads like wildfire against Vash’s cheeks, and he pulls out the lighter Wolfwood had tossed him a few towns back, bringing it carefully to the cigarette. The glow of the flame lights up the mischief in Wolfwood’s eyes as he inhales, then gently blows the smoke right at Vash’s face.  “Hey-!” Coughing, Vash waves his hand in the air, giving Wolfwood a playful punch in return, laughing a bit at the grimace he receives. “Bit rough there, Blondie. Hm.. these taste a bit different than normal, are they the regular packs I get?” “You’re the one who blew smoke in my face! You’re lucky I’m wearing my sunglasses, or that would have gone right in my eyes! And um… I think they’re a different brand maybe?”  Wolfwood hums lightly, choosing to focus his attention on the first part of what Vash said. “Why are you wearing them at night? Are even the moons too bright for you?”  “Wha- no! I just got so used to the feeling of them on my face that…” Vash rubs his neck, offering a sheepish smile,  “It starts to feel weird without them. Not quite like being naked, more like walking around without a shirt on. Technically acceptable, but still quite weird. Feels vulnerable almost. Though sometimes if I- hey, you alright?” Wolfwood’s eyes have been captured by a far off look, his head slightly tilting back until- “hIH’ktsSHH’yue-! hAH’ZSHH’oo-!” “Oh, bless you!” With a rough sniff, Wolfwood brings his wrist back down from where it had assumed position under his nose. He gives Vash a sharp grin, taking another drag from the cigarette in lieu of a thank you.  “What were you on about then?” “Hm? Oh, it was nothing really. Honestly I don’t even remember where I was going with that.” “Alright.” And with that, they’re back to staring out at the desert sky. Not a cloud in sight, but somehow, it was darker than usual. ‘That wouldn’t normally be a bad thing, but… it makes it harder to see him’ Vash thinks, allowing his eyes to trace over to Wolfwood. The light of the cigarette glows faintly against the darkness of his clothes. His eyes though… they shine without any light at all. Somehow, despite being dark, Vash has always noticed the glow they seem to give off. “Hehh- hH’kttZSHH’yuee-!”  “Ble-” “Nohhht- not done Blondieehhhh-! hEH’ZZSCHH’OO-! hahh’ASHH’yuee-!”  “Triple bless you!” “Cute, needle-noggin.”  Vash smiles, the laughter dancing in Wolfwood’s eyes filling him with warmth, despite the cold air. “You alright though? Something setting you off?” Wolfwood gives a deep sniff before answering, apparently trying to see if he can smell anything unusual. Unfortunately, he’s already way too stuffed up to let anything pass, including air.  “Can’t tell. Doubt it though, likely just something irritating my allergies.” “In the middle of a desert…?” “You’d be surprised at the kind of flowering plants you can still find ‘round here. One time I walked into a town that had a full blooming cactus- flower- thing. Still don’t know exactly what it was, but damn it was potent. Was sneezing nearly the whole night, but it was too late to go find another place to stay.” Wolfwood seems to shudder a little at the memory, his hand coming up to rub at his nose as if even the thought of it was starting to irritate him.  “Pretty sure I woke everyone in that motel, got some real dirty looks the next morning.” Vash laughs, dodging a punch thrown at his good arm. Wolfwood gives him a glare, but there’s no fire in his eyes. Only warmth. The cigarette he’s been smoking has reached its last legs, and Wolfwood crushes it, before pulling out another, leaning in once again for Vash to light it. “Might as well treat myself to a few tonight, it’s a gift after all, right Blondie?” Vash obliges, lighting it up and letting his head tilt with a nod, partially to agree, mostly to hide the flush starting to fill his cheeks at the mention of the gift. Thankfully, he’s soon distracted, as Wolfwood lets out another itchy gasp, this time barely managing to turn away from Vash before the sneezes break free. “hihh’ZZSH’yuee-! heHH- hAH’ktSHHH’ooo-! hh’RRUSHH’ueee-! Fuck- hah’ASHH’ooo-! Hehh… ihhh’hEH’ZSHH’OOO-!”  “Jeez, Nico. Bless you, are you alright?” A shiver runs through Wolfwood, his cheeks slightly pink as he turns back to face Vash. “‘Scuse me. I’m alright. Just somethin’ tick-hhH’ZSHHH’OO-! Oh god, not doohhhne!”  Vash wants to turn away, give him some privacy, but something about the vulnerability of the display has him captivated. Wolfwood’s eyes are fighting to stay open, fluttering against the depth of the tickle. His mouth hangs open, breath hitching wildly as his nose practically trembles. “hHH’KSHH’yuee-! Huhhh- hEH’RSHHH-ISHHH-ZSCHHH’ooo-! Wheww~ Ohgod- iHh’NGXttt’shiew-!”  Desperate to stop the onslaught, he attempts to stifle the last one, Vash not missing the shivers it sends down his spine. Both of them know what a stupid choice that was, as Wolfwood can do nothing but gasp against the cold air, before ducking into his arm with another rapid, yet softer, fit. “hhH’ishh’iew-! tiSHH’iew-! hehh’ASHH’iew-! Hehh- hH’DTshhh’iew-!”  “Bless you. You really shouldn’t hold them in like that, you know it just makes you sneeze more afterwards.” A blush spreads across Wolfwood’s face, Vash not missing the way the dark eyes refuse to meet his own. “Yeah, yeah. Thank you Dr. Blondie, I’ll keep that in mind.” The tone is light and teasing, but there’s a deeper mood to it that Vash can’t quite put his finger on. This isn’t new to him, Wolfwood quite often uses humour or charm to mask deeper, actual emotions. Deciding to let him keep what dignity he has left after the fits, Vash just offers a sweet smile, and a tissue from his pocket. Wolfwood greedily reaches for it before pausing, and gently handing Vash the cigarette to hold before grabbing the tissue.  Offering a ‘thanks’ over his shoulder as he turns away, he roughly blows his nose, Vash wincing at the congested sounds. Turning back with his mouth still slightly hanging open, ‘likely to breathe’ Wolfwood gives Vash a tight smile, before taking the cigarette back. “Are you sure you don’t know what’s causing this? You’re not getting sick, are you? You could tell me if you were, ya know. It’s not a bad thing to admit-” “I’m not sick. Just itchy.” “And stuffed up.” There’s a pause, Wolfwood seemingly taking stock of his symptoms. Vash attempts to do the same.  “Yeah. Still, it feels like allergies. If I was getting sick I’d be feeling it in my throat by now.” “Hm… normally you’d be coughing by now too.” Wolfwood shoots him a look, and Vash blushes a bit, rushing through an explanation before he can stop himself. “We just spend a lot of time together, and I noticed that usually when you get sick you get a cough pretty quickly- not first though, first comes a sore throat- usually I can tell because you don’t talk as much- not that you talk too much! You just talk more than I do sometimes, and well, when you’re sick you don’t, and that’s how I can tell it’s starting- but yeah usually the coughing starts before the sne-” “Blondie, take a breath.” Vash chuckles nervously, aiming his gaze at the ground where the crushed cigarette lays, still slightly smouldering, so he grinds it a bit further into the rock. “hH’ZSCHH’ooo-! hehh’ktCHH’iew-! haHH’DNNGT’shhh-!”  “Didn’t we just go over th-” “hIH’ISHH’iew-! Tishh’iew-! hH’ZSHH’iew-! heH’ashh’iew-! HH’zshh’IEW-!” “-this. Bless you.” His tone is teasing, and Wolfwood shoots him an exasperated look, rolling his eyes dramatically, though Vash can’t quite tell if that was meant for him, or the sneezes that seemed to still be dancing through his sinuses. “Hehhh- hH’HDT- guhhh…”  “Still need to sneeze?” “Whaahhhht do you hehhh…. hH’IHH-uhhhhh what do you think?”  Vash blushes, the desperation in Wolfwood’s words simmering in his stomach in ways he’d rather not dwell on. Instead, he reaches over and runs a single finger down the bridge of Wolfwood’s pronounced nose, smirking at the way his eyes tear up immediately. He manages to keep enough wits about him to aim away from Vash’s hand, but doesn’t even attempt to cover as the sneezes blast out of him. “HH’ZSCHHH’OO-! hah’ASHH’ooo-! RRUSHHH’UEE-! HAHH’ZSHHH’YUEE-! Hehh… hehH’KTSHH’ooo-! hh’zzUSHH’ooo-! Jeez, ‘scuse me. Thanks for that, Blondie. They were really tormenting me there.” “Bless you. Seemed like you needed a little help, is all.” “Yeah. Damn, still itches something fierce. Really don’t know what’s got me so irritated.”  Vash glances around the desert once more. Nothing catches his eye, the vast open space still empty of anything more than sand and their car. “We seem to be the only things around. Unless you’ve suddenly developed an allergy to sand. Oh god, that would be- “hEH’KISHH’ooo-!”  “Exactly! Took the words right out of my mo- ouch! Okay, okay, jeez. No need to beat me up! I’m not the one causing this.” They pause for a minute, Wolfwood’s eyes watery and glossed over, but Vash’s suddenly wide and frantic. “Wait, you don’t think you’re allergic to me, do you?! I mean, I’m the only thing around, and you’re having an allergy attack, so it figures that you have to be allergic to something nearby, and since I’m the only thin-” “Blondie, you’re giving me a headache.” “Sorry…”  “Don’t worry so much. I’m not allergic to you. I’d be long dead by now if I was, what with how much you cling to my side.” “I’m pretty sure you’re the one who just decided to invite yourself along on everything I do.” “Regardless of the details, my point stands. I can’t possibly be allergic to you. Besides, it only started recen- hehH- hold on-” Wolfwood pauses, voice entirely air. His breath catches, then releases once more, stuck right on the edge of sneezing and hitching. Vash feels a pang of sympathy at the desperate look in his eyes as they flutter between closed and open. Wolfwood is stuck, mouth ajar, head slightly tilted. One hand is hovering in front of his face, lightly fanning, the other holding his cigarette as it burns closer and closer to his fingers. Noticing the pain that’s sure to occur soon, Vash knocks it down, crushing it beneath his boot, not missing the growl of protest Wolfwood manages to slip out between gasps. “You’re a bit too preoccupied to be smoking that right now, and I don’t think either of us want you getting burned by it.” All he gets are hitches in return, the groaning starting to air on the side of moans as Wolfwood tries frantically to get the sneezes to come out. Finally he reaches over, grabbing Vash’s hand, sending chills down his spine. He’s too far gone to speak, but he doesn’t need words. Vash knows what to do. Gently taking his finger, and running it down the bridge of his nose like he did before, Vash nearly faints at the deep and airy moan that escapes Wolfwood’s throat, before he lunges forward with a harsh fit, lightly misting Vash’s hand as he attempts to move out of the way. “hEH’ISHH’YIUU-! ASHHH’YUUE-! ZSSHHH-DTSHH-KTSHHH’OOO-! hehh- heH’kNXGT’SHOO-! heH’ISHH’iew-! hh’zzSHH’ooo-! What the fuck- RSHHH’ooo-! hh’ktSHH’ooo-! heH’RSHHHH’yuue-! Oh thank god.”  “Bless you Nicholas. Better?” He receives a desperate sniff in response, wet and heady, and Vash searches through his pockets for another tissue, handing over a pack he forgot he was carrying. “You been holdin’ out on me.” Wolfwood mutters, crushing his nose into them and letting out a harsh blow. “Forgot I had them, sorry ‘bout that, I woulda handed ‘em over sooner if I remembered.” Wolfwood comes up for air, his nose twitching in the cold night air, before pressing it back into the tissues for another blow. Finally, seeming to get enough relief to satisfy him, his watery glance meets Vash’s, an itchy sigh releasing from his chest. “All is forgiven, feels much better now. Except that you crushed my smoke before I was finished with it!” “Ah, sorry ‘bout that too, but it was for the best.” Already pulling another out, Wolfwood gives him another sharp smile, this time laced with something that makes Vash’s heart flutter before he has a chance to stop it. “At this rate I’m gonna finish the pack before morning.” As he reaches over to get it lit, Vash gently pulls it out from between his lips. Wolfwood raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say a word, and doesn’t move back either, their faces close enough to feel the other’s breath. Vash places the smoke in his mouth, lights it, and takes a drag, ‘Hm, it does taste a bit different… what is this, I wonder.’ before letting Wolfwood remove it, and place it between his own lips.  Neither moves, Wolfwood breathing in too, Vash still holding his breath, though not by choice anymore. They stay like this for a beat, before Wolfwood turns to the side, blowing out, before turning back, eyes aglow. Vash finally realizes he’s still holding the smoke in his lungs, and goes to exhale, before pausing. ‘Time for a little revenge for the earlier smoke blowing’.  He lets his breath go, smoke drifting right into Wolfwood’s face. The reaction is instantaneous, Wolfwood using every fiber of his being to aim for Vash’s shoulder instead of his face as the sneezes burst out of him, forcing the cigarette to drop onto the ground where Vash crushes it. “hhH’zzSHH’ooo-! hh’ASHHH’ooo-! heH’ihhDSHH’ieew-! hUH’RUSHHH’yuee-! B- Blond- hAH’KTSHHH’ooo-! hihh’ZZCHH’OOO-! hH’EDDshh’yue-! RSHHH’ooo-!”  “Oh god, bless you Nico!”  Vash pauses for a second, before realization sets across his face, immediately replaced by panic as he turns over the pack in his hand, reading the label. “Shit- Nicholas, oh damn it-” Through congested sniffles, Wolfwood manages to shoot him a questioning gaze, before another desperate sneezes rips through him, this time giving him enough time to aim for the ground. “hEHH’KTSHH’shiew-!” “Bless you. I’m so sorry!” “What are you sorry for, I’m the one who just… juuhhhst… hhh’ISHH’yue-! ktSHH’ooo-! Scuse me- just sneezed against your shoulder.”  “Bless yo- huh? Oh, that’s nothing, don’t worry about it. It’s my fault anyways, I really should have seen it sooner, I was just… kinda distracted… I’m so sorry!” “Seen what…? What am I missing here Blondie?” Vash blushes, this time deep enough that Wolfwood can’t help but raise an eyebrow at the colour shift.  “T- the… the pack of smokes I gave you… you said they tasted different, and I thought it was just the brand, but when I had one I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was- it tasted like more than just a different brand- I mean I should have smelled it in the smoke but I wasn’t paying attention- and you were too stuffed up to smell or taste it anymore- I’d heard of flavoured cigarettes before but I’ve never seen them around here so I didn’t even think to-” “Blondie, rambling again. Is there a point you’re gettin’ to?” “.....They’re cinnamon flavoured. Which means the smoke is cinnamon scented too.”  Wolfwood stares for a moment, before letting out a laugh that nearly startles Vash off the rock. “That’s all? Blondie, with the way you were goin’ on, I thought they were poisoned or something!” “B- but… you’re allergic to cinnamon..? That’s why you’re sneezing so much, and… and it’s all my fault…” Vash feels his face flushing again, tears starting to form in his eyes before he can fight them off. ‘Why are you crying, you’re the one who caused this, you don’t get to cry-’.  His thoughts are cut off by the feeling of soft hands against his cheeks. One hand wipes away the tears, lingering just a moment on his cheek, while the other runs up into his hair, eliciting a soft sigh that he can’t stop. “I’m not angry at you, Vash.” Vash manages to clear his head enough to recognize the hands belong to Nicholas. The voice that spoke up belongs to him too, and there’s a gentle tone in it he’s never heard before. The eyes staring back at him belong to the man as well, and the kindness seeping through them nearly starts Vash crying again. “Y… you’re not…?” A light chuckle breaks through, and Vash feels his heart drowning in longing. “It’s just some sneezing, Blondie. We both know I’ve had worse. Plus, I was still enjoying the smoke, even with the unfortunate byproduct.” Vash stares, head filling with thoughts he can’t ignore. ‘Why isn’t he angry?’ ‘He was still enjoying them?’ ‘Is he okay with this?’ and front and center, ‘His hands are still touching me, does he know that?’  One hand still cups his face, thumb running along his chin, while the other seems content to pet through his hair. Vash can’t help but gasp as Nicholas suddenly pulls back, both hands leaving his skin, prompting his own to reach out for them. “hihh’KTshhh’iew-!”  ‘Oh.’  With that, Nicholas lets Vash’s hands grab his own, returning the grasp. Neither of them pulls closer, but neither pulls away. They just sit there for a minute letting the contact send burning chills through their bodies, almost as if they were being electrocuted. And yet… it was the most soothing feeling either had ever had.  After a few minutes of this, Vash broke off first, barely catching the airy sigh that escaped between Nicholas’s teeth. Vash could see his nose was still twitching, a red sheen on it glowing in the moonlight. ‘When did it get so much brighter out here?’ “We should get you some allergy meds, or you’re gonna be sneezing the rest of the night. Neither of us will get any sleep if that happens.” “Right, Blondie. Lead the way.” Neither of them says a word about the contact, the electricity, or the burning urge to do it again that bangs against each of their chests. Somehow, an unspoken agreement has been made, one that both of them seem desperate to keep. ‘That didn’t happen, I didn’t love it, and it will never happen again.’  Of course, both of them also know it’s a lie, and are eagerly awaiting the next excuse to feel that softness again. Somewhere, in the middle of a surprisingly cool desert night, under a dark sky, one touch lights a spark, and two cold hearts start to thaw in the heat. 

#waterfallwrites #oh god guys another one this week??? ive lost my mind i apologize #it just wouldnt leave me alone so i wrote it #and then bc i have a problem i decided i should post it too #i like other people seeing what ive wrote okay??? is that so wrong???? #well it certainly FEELS wrong #but im gonna try to get past it and just put this here #hey maybe only i will like it but thats okay #gotta be able to enjoy your own stuff sometimes right #okay okay okay ill stop rambling to stall like i do every time and just post it #if anyone reads these tags- hello- thank you for reading- i hope you enjoy this!! #snz #snzkink #snzfic #t/rigun s/tampede #v/ash and w/olfwood #my beloveds

[insertsona]

psst. hey. hey. do YOU 🫵 want to see more of my art . including things that never make it to tumblr (a looot of it) . or perhaps . do you want to see more of sale + my other addison ocs . because if so . you should totally check out my toyhouse

ooooh you wanna check it out so bad . you can even find sales lore in there . oooh you wanna look at it

#LOOKAT MY TOYHOUSE #ESP IF YOU LIKE MY ART !!! MY TH IS FULL OF IT #i dont post here often bc its usually really discouraging since not many people even see or reblog it #BUT MY TOYHOUSE !!!! YOU CAN SEE ALL KINDS OF FUN ART THAT DOESNT MAKE IT ON HERE !!!!! #AUS!!!! OTHER OCS!!!! MORE AUS!!!!!!!!!!!! SALE!!!!!!!! RECAPS OF ASK EVENTS!!!!!!!! #EVERYTHING IS THERE!!!!!!!!! #and then. once youre done checking that out. you can come back 2 my blog with more information abt my characters :3 #if anyone does actually look at my th because of this post you should totally tell me btw #just send an ask or something saying like hey i looked at your toyhouse #but even if you dont . thanks for taking th time to read my post and tag ramble #casinos words: talking #casinos ramblings

[amphibia-a-day]

....whoops

Hiiiii I accidentally messed up the numbering of the past few posts since like... The 4th, I'm glad it wasn't longer than that but I finally had time to sit down today and draft and queue more posts and actually add things to the sheets I made (yes I have a Google sheets file with so much info about each post and the dates and numbers and stuff- anyway) and I noticed, huh that's weird, why aren't we near 1000 yet..... Oh no

So uh yeah somehow on the 4th I posted 998 instead of 988, I guess I can see how that would happen, but then the next one was 899? Then 900, then somehow 801, and then I've been counting from there.... Whoops ... This is what happens when I've been working 2 jobs and also opened a show at the beginning of February so I haven't actually had time to sit down on my laptop and queue stuff, I've just been doing it on my phone in passing moments of free time... Whoopsie 💀🧍

Anyway it's fixed now! Today isn't 807, it's 997, which means day 1000 is soon! I should've known something wasn't right when Tumblr told me I hit 1000 posts on this blog a few days ago .... H m

Anyway, things should be back to normal now! ...and hopefully with a little more variety in episodes I post, I've just only had what I had drafted already to work with and not been able to pull things from my laptop, but now there's a few more options! Which, speaking of....

I've been meaning to make a post like this for a little while but haven't gotten around to it - what episodes do you want to see screenshots from?? I've been posting screenshots I like, or I think people will like, but I wanna know - what would you like to see? ...to anyone that may read this anyway. Feel free to write in the notes, or send me an ask, or do whatever feels comfortable for you! Or you can submit screenshots and I'll queue them up if they haven't been posted yet - I've had people send me some before, and apologies for not responding to your asks, but I do definitely see them!!! And I appreciate them so much!!

tl;dr, I goofed on the last 10 days of posts, but I fixed them now, and now I'm going to sit down and queue more for at least a little bit so more screenshots can actually get posted on time instead of when I realize before going to bed 😔 and I'd love to hear from you all on what you'd like to see on this account! I love running it, and I love seeing people come back day after day - thanks for being here! :)

#this turned into me rambling lol oops #....also if you see random posts non amphibia related thats cause I meant to reblog it to my main account but misclicked or didn't notice #usually I catch it right away... but while doing this I just noticed one that had been there since January 14th.... #so hey uh mistakes happen lol #thank you for reading this all if you have #thanks for sticking around! I appreciate it :) #almost at day 1000; wow #that's wild to me #and here's to 1000 more lol #... hopefully

[dye-it-rouge-et-noir]

Welcome to the Elliot Carver as Elektra King's weird uncle figure agenda by yours truly, Rouge/Elliot!

The concept for these two has been in my head for quite some time now and I've just gathered the motivation to write this. I would not consider this to be a proper analysis, but rather a long ramble written in one night. (Roughly 900 words?) Now, let's get right to it!

Introduction

The Brosnan era of films introduced a notable set of villains to act as adversaries for James Bond. Particularly, Elliot Carver from Tomorrow Never Dies and Elektra King from The World is not Enough hold a myriad of similarities that would make them ideal for a relatively affable relationship. Moreover, these similarities also emphasize narrative aspects within Brosnan era such as the malignancy behind given positions of power that are left hidden from the eyes of others.

Parallels

Charming the Media

They are masters of the masquerade, feigning innocence for the world with their charisma. With deception, they draw attention to themselves but as a strategic tactic to mask their thorns. Elektra knows her ability to charm others well as a femme fatale character, using it to manipulate others in order to have the world at her hands. Likewise, Elliot appeals to the media by acting like a benevolent figure that seeks to unravel the truths of the world as a facade for the underlying malignancy of his networks. 

Though Elektra's charm is more oriented towards seduction and Elliot's charm more oriented towards the usage of a media personality, they both use charm to achieve power over others. It is a subtle yet effective means of control that nobody else notices. Before people know it, they will already have the upper-hand.

Mirroring Blofeld

In some ways, the both of them mirror Bond's nemesis Ernst Stavro Blofeld. The similarities are more intentional with Elektra. A notable phrase from Barbara Broccoli herself is that she notes: "With Elektra, Bond thinks he has found Tracy, but he's really found Blofeld." She is a person that manipulates others under the guise of someone contrary to who she really is. Here is an article from License to Queer by Sam Rogers that details the connections between On Her Majesty's Secret Service and The World is not Enough far better than I could: (Click here!)

Regarding Elliot Carver, there are prominent similarities with Blofeld such as his intolerance for failure and desire for control with his influence. Aesthetically, he adorns the similar attire to Blofeld as well to allude to a similar position of power. Moreover, the connection with Blofeld demonstrates how he serves to be a formidable foe in terms of his influence with his media empire.

By acting as foils to Blofeld, both characters showcase a special form of cruelty the espionage world holds for Bond. They epitomize a malevolent longing for control and the influence they hold beneath exterior appearances.

Familial Distance and Disdain

With both of their father figures, these two have a certain degree of disdain towards them. Though a trait exclusive to the novelization of Elliot's film, he was abandoned by his biological father and sought to confront his father to create the legacy he thought he deserved. Made more explicit with Elektra, she holds a disdain for her father due to how he handled her kidnapping. The both of them resorted to violent means that resulted in both of their fathers death.

However, there presents the additional layer of how her culture is being impacted by her father's operations. Though Elektra is a character who should not be taken at face-value, the lines "The new pipeline will guarantee our future, but it would be a crime to destroy what little is left of our past" and "His kingdom he stole from my mother, the kingdom I will rightly take back" cue into the importance of her mother's heritage and preserving it. Thus, this introduces the potential that Elektra would hold some distance from her father on this factor even without the kidnapping.

In a way, they are both people that will take back that should have been theirs. They will maintain their legacies for the world regardless of what it takes.

Application of Similarities

Considering these similarities, they are able to understand each other better than anybody else would. The two of them understand the power they hold over others, but also understand why they want said power in the first place. They would know the truth lurking beneath the lies they tell. They would be able to create a form of family to take the place of where there is none in a way. In terms of a business relationship, they could mutually benefit from it. With the power of the media on Elliot's end, he would be able to spread Elektra's influence along with his own. 

(Breaking the formalities to say that I believe in Elliot Carver being the "cool uncle" archetype for Elektra King in which the latter has outrageous stories to tell and maybe end up roping Elektra into. They essentially get to "live a little" in a way, especially in Elektra's case. What's the point of living if you don't feel alive?)

Though not a necessity for constructing potential interactions, the fact that they share a Bond era allows events to be placed chronologically in a tidy fashion. As King Industries and the King family hold some recognition in the media, it would be highly likely that the Carver Media Group Network has personally reported on the firm. Prior to the events of Tomorrow Never Dies, it is plausible that the two were at least familiar with each other even if they didn't actually interact.

Conclusion

Thank you for attending a ramble of mine and I would very much appreciate further discussion! I wish that this was longer, but it is past 3 AM here as I type this and I barely have enough energy to continue any further. (Apologies if anything sounded off due to being sleep-deprived) Additionally, I cannot think of much else to say so I will end things here.

#(if anybody reads this please do not tag as ship [other than platonic/familial] for my comfort- thank you ^^') #james bond #007 #elliot carver #elektra king #my ramblings #(these two are an important duo for me for very personal reasons and i needed to gush about them! i just love them both) #(and hey gotta put the characters i like together and make connections! plus i just missed elektra a lot-)

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.

I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃

#hi bg mutuals 👋 i'm gonna vent about this from time to time. if any mutuals dont want to see it block the 'apostake' tag #trying not to read too much into it b/c I think I did last time something like this happened #and i dont want to make an ass of myself even if neither time would actually be in front of my parents #but like...i know that they know that one of my sisters is clearly PIMO #they went through her phone a couple weeks ago and i have no idea if they read my texts w/ her #but if they did they probably saw the conversation i had with her about some of the really common shelf-breakers #and telling her to take looking into it at her own pace b/c it's scary and overwhelming #(a conversation SHE started btw) #and when i talked to my parents about the larger context of that whole situation i talked about not having space to step back #and their response was that they give plenty of space b/c they dont make her go to seminary??? #that's not the same thing as letting her openly question & potentially leave the church idk what to tell you #like. besties i dont know for sure what caused it (which is NOT making things better. it just feels potentially passive aggressive) #but from my end? it sure looks like it might be a reaction to that. probably not JUST that (friends exist) but. #if you think I'm whispering anti-mormon rhetoric into my siblings' ears just ask me. i'm very much NOT doing that #i'm just. talking? to them? when and if they come to me with questions? #and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️' #(an actual argument given in the article my mom sent) #hate it. thanks #apostake #jay rambles #ok to interact #im not challenging anyone's faith. my patience though? INCREDIBLY challenged #gotta figure out how to work my way around a 'hey please dont send spiritual thoughts to the gc *I'm in*' talk tactfully #they've been pretty chill about me leaving over-all?? at least to my face #haven't pushed me to go to church w/ them; was fine with me not visiting for easter; didnt try to convince me to not drink coffee; etc #it's just. frustrating that they're not giving my siblings that still live with them that same grace #my sister's 17 ffs #it's very possible im way overreacting to the article. but what is tumblr for if not screaming into the void #religion #mormonism

[the-furies]

on one hand. loottta ideas 4 sk!llshipping art rn bc system things. on the other hand we r procrastinating on drawing them bc will people be Normal,

#normal as in dont be like 'hey those two together dont make sense' we don't control who gets with who here okay #i wanna sketch a specific couple rn but im worried people r Soooooo going to be like That makes no sense abt them #and I'm like. Listen. if you just hear me Aout abt some headcanons #[read: things tht r just Tru abt them in lur system] it'd make so much ssense #but alas. Anyways #pk;m Electrochemistry🔴 #also to draw them i need to teach myself how to draw mobility aids better. hmmmmmb. this is doable #actually now that i think abt it all tho outside of maybe like One pairing sk!llshipping is just. possibly a mess sorta #in that there's 24 [26? sorta?] of us so it's like mix and match hauve fun w it. what im tryig to say is that #it's not That serious and afaik again outside of One Pairing [iykyk] it's like WHO'S shipping pt with phys instrument?? #who tf is shipping drama and encyclo? etc etc. #and the answer is ME MOTHERFUCKER! BC OF SYSTEM SHIT AUSUSIDJDIDIDIKZ #speaking of wr do have a sketch of shivers & concept in the works. but it was started by HL but it hasn't front3d in a whileeee #perhaps i shall finish the drawing for it bc it's a cute drawing. ok im done rambling #does any of this make sense?? like my point is theres so many of us and we're kinda rlly minor characters in the grand scheme of things #so like. gestures vaguely!! im running out of words. #anyways i judt need people 2 not be weird abt our next drawings ok? ok thank you

[palukoo]

i love watching a semi obscure and often not very good old movie bc uh. woman. and then walking away with niche and in depth queer interpretations of the film and like having a mental conspiracy board and being like do you see it? do you see the vision? but like no. you haven’t even seen the movie lol

#tkb and otzi thanks for seeing my visions lol… #if you want to know what I am vaguing about. there are in fact a lot of things. I was going to make a list but there are a lot and I’m also #like well this is sometimes me thinking about the women (a good and fairly well known film) as a dyke drama (not a wide held or strongly #textually supported take) and sometimes this is me talking about sylvia scarlett (not a good film semi well known) and its many #layers of queerness in terms of both gender and sexuality (some of which are like. textual and some of which I am pacing and explaining to #anyone within hearing distance lol) and SOMETIMES this is me talking about like. fours a crowd (a very meh movie not #well known) and being like hey. polycule! (it’s called fours a crowd lol but other than that not a ton of support for this theory to the #layman who isn’t always grasping at gay little straws) #if you do actually want specifics or elaboration my ask box is always open lmfao #anyways I know this reads as sarcastic but I do genuinely enjoy this. I just also wish that I could have a captive audience that I could #make watch these movies and then explain the vision to and have them yes and me. hire me as a film professor I have no #qualifications for it and probably wouldn’t really do a curriculum anyone is asking for but I #sure would personally have a lot of fun! #my post #ham rambles (hambles) #old hollywood

[whysamwhy123]

As the wise scholar Fred Durst once said, it's just one of those days.

Send me stuff maybe?? Questions, headcanons, prompts, FMK, good news - anything that'll take my mind off of *gestures around wildly* everything

#Help me magical queers trapped inside my computer! #Help me escape my own mind! #Also if you're reading this even if you don't send something in - #Hey there I think you're cool and I appreciate you thank you for being here and putting up with my weird ramblings <3 <3 <3

[cathalbravecog]

Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.

before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.

definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)

and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about

because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)

and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.

and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...

and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)

some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.

it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).

like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...

anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.

it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!

but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.

it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.

not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.

there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.

this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.

one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.

i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.

every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.

i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.

why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...

i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.

like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...

not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It

like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.

there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.

but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.

#long #ramble #cathalposting #i...may delete this later i dont know. i both wanna talk to ppl i know about this #but also Do Not Percieve me. I am Afraid Of What People Think #Stay Back Foul Beasts ! #alsoy eah i had other stuff to talk about...more on the negative side i guess but??? its. a bit difficult to #give and .. angstier things? negative thoughts? to a character who you see a lot of comfort in. they make you happy #they help you feel better about yourself. you want to see them happy. if theyre happy #youre happy. if theyre sad...well. you are sad. sadness is natural. its a real thing. it happens sometimes. its a part of life #and i have attached some of these things to cathal already. but a few things are hard for me to consider because of The Brain Worms. #i dont want to see him hurt either yknow. #anyways i hope you enjoyer my mental illness ramble. im not normal and you shouldve known that when you followed me #thank you for existing cathal ray toby braveswag #hey fun fact remember how i said i get tired of stuff myself easily well this whole thing made me tired. i was gonna #answer an ask but now im like. man. (melts into a puddle) #(doesnt take a break bc i need instant stimulation and makes things worse for myself) #do yall see why i like cathal so much now gamers? #ya. sorry this got personal. if any of you can handle reading this u deserve a reward. #and maybe i need to start talking about personal things this much. but whatever #this is my blog i can talk about anything and thats the COOL THING! #MWAHAHAHHAHAHA! #dies #ivegot a lot going on in my brain rn cant u tell

[applestorms]

questions of pacing aside, i actually think the progression from one set of kids to the next in homestuck is quite good, and also at least in part explains why the comic shifts so heavily into the more blood-based relationship/character dynamic focus in Act 6 and onward, as opposed to the more breath-based plot emphasis that was more present in the first half.

the most basic way you can see this is in how the characters age over the course of the story, actually. you start off with the beta kids--13 years old, four humans, related by blood even if not explicitly stated from the start--who generally stick to the plot and keep away from the relationship drama. john doesn't seem particularly interested in romance other than through celebrity crushes and as a plot point in his movies, rose is (presumably) confident in her lesbianism and doesn't converse w/ jade enough in-canon to push much of a dynamic there. dave is the main one that very obviously (and, imo, cutely. d'aww) has a crush on all of his friends, but his latent internalized homophobia (and the uncomfortably Freudian implications of the Other One) means that jade is the only real candidate he can pursue. jade herself ends up being into the idea too, so there ends up not being much of a struggle anyways, at least at the beginning.

the trolls are also 13 years/6 sweeps old, but notably they're coming from an entirely different social context, one that pushes the necessity of relationships much more strongly (note the underlying "fuck or die" implications of the imperial drones). there's also 12 of them, meaning a lot more potential options for romance, not to mention the 4 quadrants for pursuing it in the first place. fitting, then, that the introduction of the leader-ly blood player adds more romantic drama to the story.

karkat bitches about his fears of troll/human sloppy makeouts enough that the story was destined to devolve into some degree of that at some point, but the rapidly rising number of troll/human interactions in A5A2 in general was bound to add to the already present interpersonal drama that drove a lot of A5A1. even looking past the burgeoning powerhouse that is rosemary at this point in the story, terezi, dave, & karkat have enough drama amongst themselves to power a fucking rocket, and that's before you add people like vriska, jade, & john into the mix.

so by the time you get to the alphas it really doesn't surprise me that so much of the plot of their early pages revolves around The Jakestakes and it's corresponding drama. the kids are also 15 going on 16 and a lot more explicitly horny by this point (bound to happen w/ the smuppets & blue women, roxy's overwhelming Thirst aside), pushed to new levels by the similarly new levels of isolation almost every character is surrounded by. the kids want interpersonal connection, and it seems natural to me considering the (human) Society they're coming from that they would default to romance at this age, REGARDLESS of whether or not they are actually interested in it. (i see you, aromantic jake headcanons.)

the same thing happens with the dancestors, actually, who are probably the most explicitly horny set of characters in the comic iirc? or at the very least, the ones who have the most canon basis for that kind of relationship history, even considering how little they show up in general. i see this as a combination of both being around 19 years/9 sweeps old and being stuck in the dream bubbles, honestly. what else is there to do but delve into a bunch of nuanced relationship drama and awkward post-death situationships, really? (unless you're cronus, of course.)

but anyways, alongside the age difference resulting in more relationship drama, there's another thing the progression lends itself to: identity crises!

this is maybe less clear in the dancestors, but it's definitely clear for the first three groups. where the beta kids all have fairly distinct, natural identities revolving around their interests (maybe more strongly stated in the case of dave & rose, fitting considering their level of maturity in comparison to the prospit kids), a lot more of the trolls are concerned with the Image they project out into the world. take rose's pre-grimdark interest in the occult & psychoanalysis, fairly genuine interests i think that do shape her identity into something fairly distinct, in comparison to the fucking Lifestyle Choices of vriska & terezi with their respective mindfang & redglare roleplay. not all the trolls are that level of dedicated so they make for a smoother transition from the betas, but there's definitely a lot stronger of a theme of personal reflection & identity within the trolls, especially in how they view/treat their ancestors.

the alpha kids take this to another level, which again i think is fitting considering their age. the alphas are a bunch of fucking liars, yes, but the key thing to note here is that when they lie to themselves, it's probably just cause they don't really know who they are yet? like, dirk is certainly Aware of some core, unchangeable parts of himself, yes-- but none of these kids have really gotten the chance to figure out who they are yet. when roxy talks about being a sick haxxor bitch, or dirk about being a multitasking, hyper-competent puppet master, or jake about being A Goddamn Adventurer-- they're playing with costumes. they're rp-ing, and trying to figure out who they actually are in the process, what parts they're willing to show the world and what parts they're more inclined to hide. even jane (or perhaps especially jane?) is just fitting herself into the role she's been placed under since childhood.

this is one idea i think the epilogues/post-canon content really missed in its interpretation of the alphas. these kids aren't uniquely terrible, their relationship drama is not world ending (despite how it may feel. looking at you A6A5A1x2), they are not harboring some exclusive seed of evil deep within them. i honestly think that if you had chucked the john/vriska/terezi/karkat/dave/jade love hexagon from hell into a different context it would look no different to the alphas' English Sweepstakes.

which kinda leads to my final point, actually: the third thread. miscommunication.

communication gets more and more obtuse the further along in the story you go. i feel like i've mentioned this before, but hussie really starts taking advantage of the medium of pesterlogs the further in you get w/ the whole concept of Biased Narrators (also see: doc scratch, homosuck), which is part of the reason why i think the story gets more and more misread the further into it you get as people skim more and pay the price even harder.

prospit/derse differences about directly vs. indirectly saying what you mean aside, the kids get more and more cagey as the story progresses. this development is actually the clearest imo when you look at how it goes from the beta kids (friends talking to friends) -> trolls (online strangers, ready to fuck w/ you but ultimately sympathetic in their own right) -> doc scratch (literally just an internet predator). as who you're talking to online increases in potential danger, so too must the required level of Fuckery.

caliborn might be a little shit w/ some violent tendencies & questionable taste in art when he's talking to the alphas (in particular, dirk & jake), but he's also the future (V)illain of The Comic and shouldn't be taken too lightly. at the very least, the power that he and calliope both have over the story as a whole is nothing to scoff at.

as much as it doesn't feel like it at first, the alphas take a lot of the themes previously established surrounding the more personal/emotional/relationship-oriented aspects of the beta kids & trolls and crank it up to 11. everything just feels so much more intense, even if the game mechanics and plot shit is dialed down significantly in turn. it's no wonder A6A5A2 (the tricksters) and A6A5A1x2 (the conversation on the quest beds) play out the way they do-- i mean, those two acts alone basically sum up the Entire dynamic of the alphas & all of their interpersonal problems in one big dramatic swoop. more lonely, more longing, more confused about who they are and who they love and who they want to be. the alphas got it all.

#am i perhaps biased about the alphas bc i too was stuck in the world's worst love triangle at the tender age of 15-16? #who can say. who can say. #astronaut rambles #hs #hey this came outta nowhere but i really enjoyed writing it so yay ^w^ #this kinda devolved into alpha kids love <3 but i dont mind #finishing this up at 1 am oopsie #gotta wake up early to register for classes AND for my actual class but my sleep schedule is fucked anyway so. essay time #hmm hmm hmm #ill read this over again later we'll give a lil late night post #EDIT: AROMANNNTIC JAKE #THANKS CHOC FUCK