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#heterodynes
leletha-jann · 2 months
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Headcanon on reasonable evidence, actually: Every Heterodyne gets their own specific pack of Jägermonster guards.
Yes, the Jägermonsters are all sworn to the family in general, but Heterodynes do unreasonable and dangerous things on absolutely no notice, and it's helpful to have a specific set of personal guards who know them as individuals well enough to respond immediately. (Of course, Jägers think this sounds like fun.)
Agatha having Dimo, Maxim, and Oggie on more or less permanent assignment to her isn't unusual; it's normal. They know this, and have encouraged her to fall into a pattern they were expecting, actually, and she didn't take any steering at all. On some instinctive level she was expecting it too. Even if Dimo keeps his promotion to General, he'll be a General on the move, from wherever Agatha happens to be. They'll be with her for the rest of her life.
Consorts get their own squads, too. At some point in the future, Gil and Tarvek both acquire a handful of their own personal Jägers, sottle-like. (They notice it happen anyway.)
Jorgi is absolutely one of Tarvek's squad, because there's no way he wasn't designed to be Tarvek's personal guard Jäger, and it will be hilarious.
I'd also love to see Agatha assign Jenka to him, because Tarvek's recently on record as missing his personal spy network, and he and Jenka would have that up and running in no time flat. They'd have fun. (Jenka doesn't hold "being Andronicus Valois' descendent" against him, because Tarvek's loyalties are firmly with Agatha, and they share a "to hell with that family in particular" attitude.) Also, it would be a neat little parallel with Tarvek giving Violetta to Agatha. Agatha could give him a sneaky lady who can kick his ass (and will if when needed) right back. For maximum humor, Füst should take to Tarvek exactly the same way the wasp eaters did.
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(this, but with JAGER BEAR)
I don't know if Gil ends up with Vole as one of his pack, because I don't know where the Foglios are going with him. But I nominate this guy from book one:
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And this guy from book 14:
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to follow Gil around and be reassuring to him periodically.
Higgs has sort of ended up as immediate supervision of the entire triumvirate. Whichever of them is in reach, or all three of them at once. Insert Higgs looking really deadpan tired here. This face. Forever.
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Jägers get EXTREMELY excited when they learn a new baby Heterodyne is on the way, and start campaigning to be on the baby's personal guard squad immediately. Of course, being Jägers, there's a lot of biting involved. I imagine months of Jägers challenging each other, not just to fights, because they did all that already, but to increasingly ridiculous and pointless challenges that they're both making up on the spot and obsessively keeping track of. The only real rule is that if you challenge someone to something, you have to do it too (otherwise how will you know who won?) They challenge each other one on one, or everyone in sight. This leads to things like most of the Jägerhorde running a screaming, pushing, biting, brawling egg-and-spoon race down the longest street in Mechanicsburg. The townsfolk line up to watch and cheer. (They're considered a course hazard, so they get to throw things.) Whoever's currently winning (don't ask me how that points math works) when the baby is born gets assigned to the baby.
Bill and Barry both had their own Jäger squads and never knew it, because their guards weren't allowed anywhere near them. Theodora was pretty much out there with a shotgun if she heard even the hint of a Jägermonster accent. Those Jägers still resent it. They feel robbed of their (most recent) chance to be trusted favorites. They might get special-pleading rights in the next tournament-to-guard-the-new-baby, assuming their brothers aren't completely fed up with their whining about it by now.
Klaus Barry had his own guards, but Bill didn't know because the Jägers were barely even allowed in the Castle by that point, so they just didn't tell him. Master of Mechanicsburg or not, the Jägers didn't trust him not to send them away even further (and rightly so).
Nobody volunteered to guard Lucrezia. Bill didn't understand the insult in that, and the townspeople didn't tell him. But every single one of them NOTICED. Ho yez.
There are only so many Jägermonsters, so by this point everyone who's still alive has been in a personal guard squad at least once. Collectively, the Jägermonsters know all the gossip, going back centuries. They'll never tell. If pressed, they suddenly lose the ability to remember last week, much less 1528. They can't be bribed, not even with alcohol, although they encourage people to try.
Canon: Jenka was in Euphrosnia's personal guard.
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Seen elsewhere on Tumblr but I forgot to reblog it: Vole was one of Saturnus' pack, which is why he tried to kill Bill and Barry. Saturnus had tried, after all, and Vole was most loyal to Saturnus in particular. (If this was your theory, let me know! Credit to you.)
TL;DR: Jägers running an egg-and-spoon race through Mechanicsburg. There. Now you have the highlight of this post.
Also: ä is alt-132 (using the keypad). NOW YOU KNOW. (hopefully I also now know, because this is like the fifth time I've tried to memorize that)
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inbarfink · 3 months
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It’s really fascinating to compare the way Agatha handles the Heterodyne Legacy compared to her father and uncle. Because these are the two known generations of ‘Heroic’ Heterodynes after a long, long legacy of the Heterodyne family being known primarily as Evil Bastards - but they have such a totally opposite relationship with that villainous legacy.
Bill and Barry grew up deep inside that Evil Heterodyne Legacy and know all about how truly rotten it really is. Their father was an Old Heterodyne to the bone and an Extremely Reprehensible Human Being. Like, not just Cartoon Evil Overlord stuff - according to the Novels, he forced Bill and Barry’s mom to marry him by threatening her family. And he tried to kill them because they weren’t evil enough to his tastes. 
And when their mom killed him to protect her sons, the Castle killed her in retaliation. The very manifestation of the Heterodyne Legacy has cost them their beloved mother who just saved their life. And all of this in addition to the fact a non-evil Heterodyne was really an unthinkable concept when the Boys started - meaning they had to work extra hard to distance themselves from their family if they wanted anyone outside of Mechanicsburg to trust them.
And Heterodyne Boys worked very very hard to prove to the world that they’re not monsters. Both to fight off against the constant suspicions that they were monsters, and because they most likely wanted as little to do with their father’s legacy as Spark-ly possible. For them the Heterodyne Legacy was mostly kind of a Curse, the thing that tormented their mother and killed her and almost killed them, the thing that makes people wary of them.
And as such, they distanced themselves from anything that’s even remotely to do with that old legacy of monsters, from anything evil or scary or messy or ugly. Much to the chagrin of the Castle, the House of Heterodyne’s many other monsters, the Jager Horde Mechanicsburg’s proud Evil Minion population and many others who felt abandoned by them for the sake of PR.
Then there’s Agatha Heterodyne. And it’s not just that Agatha grew up in a post-Heterodyne-Boys world where the general populace associates the family name less with evil barbarous mad kings and more with good-natured heroism. Where even those who remember the Old Heterodynes are at least willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Where even those who would like her to be like the Old Heterodynes are at least willing to give her some wiggle room to express herself....
It is all of that, but more importantly Agatha didn’t grow up as a Heterodyne at all.
She grew up as Agatha Clay, with the Spark-Suppressing Locket that dulled her mind and made her a miserable klutzy mess who couldn’t do anything right. She grew up hating the constant feeling of being powerless.
And discovering that she’s a Heterodyne came up… pretty close to realizing she’s a Spark, and both of these revelations gave her a certain kind of Power that she never got to have before. She is now both a powerful Spark and a powerful political player in this grand Europa political chess board. 
And as much as she has the same heroic values and upbringing as the Boys did (courtesy of Barry and the Construct Duo), not growing up so up-close-and-personal with the worst consequences of the Old Heterodyne’s evil means she’s not as immediately repulsed by it like the Boys were. 
She encountered all of these old monstrous pieces of the Heterodyne Legacy - the Jagers, the Castle, Mechanicsburg, even just the fear her name can put into people’s hearts - not as the Evil Legacy Forced Upon Her. But stuff that was taken away from her, and she had to earn back. And in a world stacked so heavily against her, so determined to rob her of her agency and newfound sense of power, these things represent the assertion and security of her power.
For the Heterodyne Boys, the worst thing they could ever imagine being was monsters - like their father and the rest of their family was. For Agatha Heterodyne, the worst thing she could imagine is being powerless again. She would take being seen as a monster a thousand times over being condescended and ignored ever again. 
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Being seen as a monster isn’t actually all that bad at all, she discovered. 
All of these things together make Agatha not quite the second generation of Actually Heroic Heterodyne or just another link in the Old Heterodyne Legacy - but another new kind of Heterodyne altogether. One that can both retain a moral code and embrace the family’s monstreness at the same time. 
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professorsparklepants · 3 months
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Hyper specific poll time!
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yutaan · 1 year
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Papercraft commission of Agatha, Gil and Tarvek from long-running juggernaut of a webcomic, the wildly creative and gleefully madcap Girl Genius! I’ve loved this comic for years and years, and was SO excited to get to depict characters whom I’ve enjoyed for so long in all their sparky glory. 
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big-ass-magnet · 18 days
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If I never manage to post this fic, I want everyone to see this line I think is very funny.
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bigasswritingmagnet · 2 months
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Stop. Talking.
Fandom: Girl Genius Pairing: Gil/Tarvek/Agatha Summary: Tarvek and Gil are perfectly happy sharing Agatha. They're getting along really well these days. Except...for some reason, all of a sudden, Gil just can't seem to stop insulting Tarvek. He's not even trying to do it! It's just like when he was trying to propose to Agatha-
Uh oh.
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‘The consorts are fighting again.’
Agatha didn’t look up from the clockwork spread out on the workbench in front of her.
“They do that,” she said, distractedly.
‘In my experience, such restlessness is usually caused by particular needs going unfullfi-’
Without looking up, Agatha picked up a small death ray from a nearby stool and pointed it at a particularly pretty mosaic on the wall.
“What is my rule?” she asked, using her free to hand to rearrange the cogs.
‘My presence and opinion are unwelcome in the bedroom,’ the castle said, quickly.
“Correct,” Agatha said, and set the death ray back down.  “Don’t worry about it. Bantering is how they communicate.”
‘It seems a little one-sided for bantering…’ the castle said, uncertainly.
.
Gil’s plaintive calls fell on deaf ears as Tarvek stormed down the hallway.
“It was a compliment,” Gil insisted, hurrying after him.
“It was not,” Tarvek snapped, white-faced. “My family practically invented the art of devious, backhanded fake compliments so believe me, Holtzfӓller, when I say that that was an insult.”
Gil winced. Tarvek only made that particular nominal slip-up when he was really, really mad.
“Well, it was supposed to be a compliment!”
Travek entered his study and slammed the door shut so abruptly Gil nearly walked right into it. Gil opened the door and immediately ducked as a letter opener sliced by, directly where his ear would have been.
Gil stared in shock at the letter opener—apparently having been sharpened more than Gil felt was necessary for merely cutting paper—vibrating half-buried in the wood of the far wall.
“Were you trying to—”
Stars burst in his eyes as something heavy slammed into the back of his head.
“Ow!”
Rubbing the back of his head, Gil turned around and had just enough time to dodge volume 2 of the Encyclopedia Horrifica (which covered chanting, ominous through corn)
“Get! Out!”
“I’m trying to apologize!” Gil protested.
“No, you’re not!” Tarvek shot back. “You’re explaining to me why I shouldn’t be angry! That is not the same thing!”
“I—! Okay, fine! I’m sorry that you thought my compliment came across like an insult!”
He managed to avoid volume 3 (cosh through dzyzxs) but not volume 4, 5, or 6 (all of the letter E), which knocked him straight off his feet. Before Gil could rise, Tarvek slammed the door shut again. This time, Gil heard him lock it.
.
Agatha’s tongue stuck out in concentration as she picked up the fragile blown-glass bulb with the tips of her gloved fingers. Slowly, she lifted it up and set it in the gap between two pipes, holding it in place with one hand. With the other, she turned a dial, fraction by fraction, slowly increasing the pressure on the seal that would lock the whisper-thin—but extremely necessary—bulb into place.
Gil burst into the room with a crash of the door.
“You have to talk to Tarvek!”
Agatha didn’t even flinch.
“What did you do now?” she asked, keeping her eyes fixed on the task at hand.
“Wh-! Why do you think I did anything?” he demanded, indignantly.
“Because when he starts it, you have no problem finishing it. You only ever come to me when it’s your fault.”
“Wh-! You-! That-!” Gil sputtered.
“There!” Agatha said, as the pressure gauge clicked green. She locked the mechanism in place and stepped back, tugging off her gloves and looking at Gil.
“So. What did you do?”
“I gave him a compliment!” Gil said. “And he got mad at me!”  
Agatha gave him an I do not believe you look.
“We were talking about that big conference with the neighboring city states, and he made a couple of suggestions that were, y’know, Tarvek level sneaky.”
“Mm-hmm…”
“And I said…I don’t remember exactly what I said, but he asked me what I meant and I said we all know you’re a devious underhanded weasel, but this is the best double-crossing you’ve done since Sturmhalten’. And he—” Gil paused at the look on Agatha’s face. “What? It was a compliment! He managed to outplay the Other! That’s impressive!”
“He was also outplaying me!" 
Gil scoffed.
“Well, yeah, but I wasn’t talking about that.”
“You didn’t specify!”
“Why should I? We forgave him for that, he knows that!”
Agatha shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“He’s sensitive about it.”
Gil snorted.
“Yeah, no kidding.”
Agatha pointed back at the door.
“Go apologize.”
“But I didn’t do anything—!”
“You know what he’s like! He expects double meanings and power plays everywhere, all the time! You gave a compliment; he heard you trying to dig in the knife by reminding him of what he considers one of the worst things he’s ever done.”
Gil opened his mouth, outraged. Gil considered what Agatha had said. Gil closed his mouth.
“What is with you lately?” Agatha demanded. “It’s like every time I turn around you’ve said something stupid enough to make him go storming off—Gil?"
Gil had gone pale.
“Oh no,” he whispered.
“What? Gil, what is it? What’s wrong?”
Gil did not answer. He was staring into space, gazing at some unseen horror. Agatha took him by the shoulders and shook him.
“Gil!”
“It’s pathological,” he said, hoarsely. “It has to be. I thought it was just you, but no, this is, this is just what I’m like—”
“What are you talking about?” Agatha exclaimed. He lowered his head slowly to look at her, his eyes haunted and hollow.
“I’m in love with Tarvek.”
Agatha stared at him for a moment...then she put her hand to her mouth and let out a soft gasp. “Oh, it is pathological.”
“This is all my father’s fault,” he snarled, fists clenching. “All that work he put into protecting me and making me physically stronger and faster and he didn’t do anything that could save me from my own big fat mouth!” He collapsed forward, head on the workbench, arms flung over his head.
Agatha put her hands on his shoulders, patting reassuringly.
“I’m doomed,” Gil wailed.
“No, no, you’re not. Come on, Gil, you weren’t thinking about it before, but now that you know—”
“No!” Gil said, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. “Don't you understand? Tarvek and I hated each other for years! It took dying to get us to have a civil conversation, and now—!”
He clutched at his face, his imagination dancing nightmare scenarios before his eyes.
“I’m going to ruin everything,” he moaned. “I’m going to destroy everything we’ve built. You’re going to have to choose between us. When we have dinner he’s going to ask you to ask me to pass the salt because he won’t even want to talk to me enough to–Ack!”
Agatha spritzed him with the squirt bottle again.
“Stop that!” she said.
“You stop that!” he said, blinking water out of his eyes. “What is that?”
“It’s von Zinzer’s. He uses it when I start talking about dismantling the town for parts. Now listen to me.” She set the bottle down firmly and put her hands on her hips. “You are not going to ruin everything. You managed it with me, you can manage it with him.”
“Are you joking? We had to be trapped in the castle and almost permanently die about ten different times before you could trust me! And then we had all the–" Gil waved his hands around in a gesture that quite succinctly managed to sum up the overlay, his father freezing the town, two years of Agatha being missing in time, the collapsing empire, Martellus, Paris, England, god queens, inter-dimensional disasters, exorcism engines, and Martellus again. "–everything before we could be together!"  
"You and Tarvek were mad at each other for years, and it took you two days in the castle to get over it."
"By dying!"
'If you think it might help, I could always kill you again,' the castle suggested.
Without looking away from Gil, Agatha picked up the death ray and shot out a light.
"Gil, relax. You're overthinking this. Give Tarvek time to cool off, then go to him, and tell him you love him. No big explanation, just 'I love you'. You can do that, can't you?"
"Yes," Gil said. "I can do that."
He straightened up.
"I can do that," he said, confidently. Then he sagged "No I can't."
"Gil."
"I'll just start babbling! You know me! I'll open my mouth to say it and explanations will come out! Can't you tell him for me? He likes you." 
"He likes you, too!"
"But he doesn't love me!"
Silence.
Gil swallowed hard, his eyes going overbright.
"I can't tell him," he whispered. "Not when he doesn't...and he doesn't."
Agatha sighed, softly.
"Gil..." She picked up her gloves and began whacking him with them. "Are you joking? After everything you two have been through together? Of course he loves you! That's why he doesn't stab you when you're an idiot!" 
Gil caught the gloves and pulled them out of her hand.
"You don't know that!" he insisted.
"I absolutely do! You, me, and Violetta might be the only people in the world who really know Tarvek, and I hear the way he talks about you when you're not there–" She grabbed the gloves back and punctuated her statement with three solid whacks. "So I am telling you! With confidence! That he loves you!"
She pointed at the door.
"Now go think about what you're doing to say to him. Plan it out. Give him time to cool off. And then go tell him how you feel, or so help me Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, I will tell the Jӓgers you want their help."
.
Gil waited two days. Not because it took Tarvek two days to stop being mad at Gil, but because Gil was sure his nerves would eat him alive if he waited any longer. Tarvek had stopped leaving the room when Gil walked in, and Gil would just have to hope that that would be enough.
Tarvek was in the library, flipping idly through a book on poisons and occasionally making corrections in red ink. He didn't look up when Gil cleared his throat.
"I'm busy."
"I need to talk to you."
"Write me a note."
"Would you please just—" Gil sighed. "Just hear me out?"
Tarvek, every motion extremely pointed and deliberate, set the pen aside, slid the bookmark between the pages, shut the book, and gave Gil his full attention.
Gil's palms began to sweat.
“And let me actually finish, before you start yelling at me.” Gil said, and winced internally. No, that was much too rude, now Tarvek was narrowing his eyes and bristling. Quick, quick, the speech! You practiced the speech! What was the speech?
“The reason I've been so rude lately is because you—” No, no, no, no, you are NOT starting a love confession with it's your fault I'm insulting you. “I know I’ve been acting like an idiot lately—”
He paused, expecting Tarvek to make a comment, but Tarvek just raised his eyebrows.
“The thing is,” Gil said. “The thing is, I…” He took a deep breath. “I’m—”
“You’re in love with me,” Tarvek finished for him.
Gil’s jaw dropped.
“You knew?”
Tarvek snorted.
“Of course I knew. I knew months ago. It was so obvious.”
“It wasn’t obvious to me!” Gil blustered.
“Really? You didn’t notice that you’ve been acting exactly like you used to act around Agatha?”
“Eventually!” Gil sputtered. “So all of this being mad and throwing things at me, you were just winding me up?”
“No,” Tarvek said, plainly. “You were genuinely insulting and I didn’t see any reason to let you off the hook just because I knew why it was happening.”
Gil stared at him, and Tarvek’s mouth curled up into a smirk, the cat construct that ate the mutant canary.
"And I was winding you up."
Gil stared, speechlessly. Tarvek tossed his book onto the cushion beside him and stood. 
"Actually, I was kind of hoping you'd take longer to put it together—it’s fun watching you flail around.”
“I take it back,” Gil said, flatly. “I hate you. I hate you forever and ever and ever.”
Tarvek put his hand on the back of Gil’s head, and kissed him.
It was a very, very good kiss. Gil was relieved to find he enjoyed it exactly as much as he enjoyed kissing Agatha, which had been a concern, but then Tarvek put his arm around Gil and pressed in close and opened his mouth against Gil’s and that was about it for any sort of higher brain function for Gil for the remainder of the kiss.
“Um,” Gil said, finally. “You’re. Very good at that.”
“I am,” Tarvek said, sweetly.
“I still hate you.”
“Sure you do.”
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iamthedukeofurl · 6 months
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The Gil/Tarvek/Agatha basically-canon Triad in Girl Genius is mildly hilarious from a Doylist perspective if the rumors about these characters are true. So, the rumor is that initially Gil was intended to be the sole romantic interest, and a gender-swapped take on the "Villain's Beautiful Daughter" trope, where he's villainous and untrustworthy but DOES genuinely care about our Heroine and the tension is whether he will choose her over being a villain. But Gil (And his father, The Baron Klaus Wulfenbach) never really developed into proper despicable villains. They were Antagonists, sure, and the Foglios did a good job of putting Agatha and Klaus into opposition despite them both being pretty firmly in the "Good" camp of the setting. While Agatha didn't know if she could trust Gil, we, the audience, saw that Gil was a big 'ol doofus and knew that he was reasonably trustworthy.
So then they try it AGAIN with Tarvek. This time his father is properly Evil, and Tarvek is scheming and untrustworthy and dangerous, he claims to be trying to help Agatha, but his loyalties seem to switch on the wind, like he's trying to curry favor with both sides to see which one comes out on top. But then they remove Tarvek from his position of power, and it turns out he's pretty likable, and so the thrilling "I Love Him...but can I trust him" STILL dosn't work as Tarvek rapidly throws all his ambitions away to help Agatha. Finally, the carve Tarvek again, taking his villainous role to create Martellus, whose like a bigger, meaner Tarvek who just wants Agatha because she'd be a really useful piece in his ambitions and who isn't even on the field as a romantic prospect, even if he's an occasionally useful ally. So it's Agatha, Her Boyfriend, Her Boyfriend who was created to fill the narrative hole left by the FIRST boyfriend when he turned out to be too much of a teddy bear, but second boyfriend also failed to be sufficiently evil so they had to give him a cousin who sucks to fill the role originally intended for First Boyfriend. And also there's Lars, who died like two months ago in narrative, but almost two decades ago real-time, so we don't talk about him much.
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avdmai · 2 months
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the lady of mechanicsburg herself
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elf-kid2 · 2 months
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Girl Genius AU.
So, after Agatha is mugged and loses her locket, events happen slightly differently, and she is successfully sent home before the Baron sees her.
The wasp-engine is discovered, Wulfenbach takes over the town, and Adam and Lilith successfully spirit themselves and Agatha away under cover of night.
(Moloch Von Zinzer is around somewhere, and vengeful on behalf of his brother who was killed by a sparky Trilobite Locket, but that's not terribly important right now.)
So! About a week and some explanations later, Agatha, Adam, and Lilith Clay are traveling through the Wastelands when a dashing you g Madboy falls out of the sky in his amazing falling machine!
Agatha, breaking through, likes the chance to poke at the machine! Adam and Lilith are suspicious about the Wulfenbach sigils all over "Gil Hoffstetter's" flying machine, and are reluctant to let him leave.
Then some Jaegers show up, with orders to bring him home! And things go from there!
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Ta-da! I finished the Triptych!
Animated version (lightning effects!) under the cut (Warning: flashing lights)
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calmingpi · 11 months
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Everyone in this castle is going to die
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leletha-jann · 18 days
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I love Friday's (April 12, 2024) page so much. If I had a top ten favorite pages list (don't tempt me), this one would be on it.
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The body language. The expressions. The simplicity and effectiveness of it.
But most of all, how much this page showcases Agatha as the Heterodyne she is and needs to be.
It doesn't escape me that this particular scene is happening in Mechanicsburg, or at least in a space that, while outside the city walls, Agatha was formally welcomed into as Mechanicsburg.
So yes, she will poke the eldritch creatures with a stick because of course she will, because she can. Because if they talk, they can be talked to, and that needs to be done.
But also because this is her ground, and she's going to stand it. This is Mechanicsburg. It's her home. This is her place, and she will not be intimidated in it.
A thousand years of her family's bones are in this ground, and you will not fuck with her on it.
I love her, Your Honor, the defense rests.
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inbarfink · 3 months
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Actually I think Lars should’ve survived just for the Comedy Potential of Agatha’s OP Polycule being composed of, like, 85% of Europa most politically powerful and most eligible young Sparks and then there’s also “and this is the Lady Heterodyne other other boyfriend, Some Guy Named Lars.”
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owlbear33 · 2 months
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hmmm yes
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That is one incredibly funny panel
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big-ass-magnet · 3 months
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