#hence why i still relate to him. why is he me........ i hate this. thanks

[nursemimosa]

I feel like this has been posted before but this is what Larry says if you chose him as your favorite gym leader. (he was who I chose when Geeta asks you questions about the gym leaders post-game. Clever move telling them Geeta!) The detail about going to the park is cute. I wonder what specific park he likes to go to de-stress.

#i am here to collect Larry Lore (c) #sorry if this has been posted by others i have been avoiding every single tag i track for a week LOL #me consulting my sleep paralysis demon in my pink swag room if i should quit my job teehee #it makes me sad he thinks it's a lapse in judgement. no u have a lot of ppl who love u! #(though still real tho. i'm ur fav? sounds fake but ok. been there) #not to be a complete sentimental SAP but the overworked thing struck a chord w/ me.. i am not but i am going thru workplace drama #hence why i still relate to him. why is he me........ i hate this. thanks #pokemon larry #pokemon scarlet violet #pokemon scarlet and violet #larry pokemon #pkmn sv #mine #indigo disk spoilers #indigo disc spoilers

[justblades]

HELLOO I recently found your account a few days ago and I binge read all of your works. Your writing is spectacular. I had a thought, maybe you'd be interested in writing something related to aphrodisiacs? It's up to you who you'd like to write it for. I would be very interested to see how you portray it. (But if you insist on a character, Luocha...hmshdndms. I know you just wrote him, but I'm starving.)

⌕ MORE AND MORE, 18+

⟢ CHARACTER : sub! luocha x gender neutral! reader WC : 1.1k

⟢ WARNINGS : EXPLICIT, MDNI. dubcon, aphrodisiacs, edging, overstimulation, manipulation, foot job, not proofread.

⟢ A/N : thank you so much nonnie! since i received a luocha ask as well, i decided to mesh both reqs into one <3 i wrote this in one sitting as if all the horny inside me took part in this oneshot 😭

"come on, luocha. show me your perverted side." you whisper to your partner, your sultry breath drawing shivers on the shell of his ear. your hands glide from his neat, lush blond strands all the way to the thighs— fingers slowly pressing on the plush the nearer you got to his erect bulge.

he doesn't say anything, just a mere 'averting his gaze' is all that you received in exchange. "i hate seeing you like this because i love you." you close in the remaining spaces away from your lust brewed bodies, "that's why i had this here." as soon as you level your face with his, you immediately crash your lips, barging with an abrupt tangling of your tongue along with luocha's, not in sync. you were rougher, faster, and louder.

you're reaching your limits after all. you could no longer bear beating around the bush just to get into your boyfriend's pants. he loves you and you do too - what's wrong with a little pushing? with one swift thrust of your tongue, you successfully make him ingest the drug coated with your sticky liquids that made the process easier. being patient is not your forte: hence why you chose the strongest, fastest-acting variant and a couple packs of it as well.

luocha's stature suddenly becomes unstable, powerless at keeping himself still that eventually lead to him falling on the farthest edge of the bed, the cushions sinking from his now twice more hefty body, given that the drug circulates in his system at present. you slowly take steps towards your lover's vulnerable state, basking in pleasure pondering about the things you'll do to him.

everytime you're with him, a single moment of not having lewd thoughts about him never once happened. you're just having the delight of human pleasures god gave us, are you not? so there's nothing wrong with this . . . is what became your life motto. luocha's body is now across from you, he's heaving deep breaths every now and then. he throws a hand on his face, heavy pink shades taints his dewy cheeks. you could tell he's growing shameful and overly conscious, asking himself why he feels funny.

"what. . . is this?" how cute. he even struggles to speak coherently, you praise yourself for buying that type or else you won't be in such euphoria. "it's a gift from me, i love you after all." you answer and straddle his abdomen, your index and thumb now making leeway for his heating body for more breathing room. "h-how come . . you're not feeling— ah!"

much to his surprise, you're already sucking his cock, giving it little licks at the top accompanied with saliva slicked hands pleasuring his ballsacks. even though you were dead set on stimulating the male, your eyes continue to brazenly linger on his pretty face: his fluttering eyelashes everytime he winces from your touches, and the way his lips quiver when you take it a step further. he looks perfect.

as you were already reveling in ecstasy getting to see luocha's flustered reactions, an idea crosses your mind. you happened to remember there's another feature of the aphrodisiac: it heightens the person's sensitivity by a dozen times. you quickly halt your actions and thought carefully about the next step.

that's right, it should be like this. getting on top of him once more, you fold your legs in a sitting position - his twitching dick nestled in between your feet. meanwhile your hands are tending to his soft nipples' needs and lastly, to top it all off, you plant stinging kisses along his neck, the type that would bruise his skin for days end. you couldn't restrain any longer and started your rhythm, opening your foot job in lento in contrast to your sloppy kisses.

gradually stroking the most prominent veins of his dick with your toes, you poke luocha's buds deep until they become fully erect and supple. luocha on the other hand, however, could not comprehend what's happening to him: uncertain if he should feel sheepish from having to let out ragged whimpers everytime his dick throbs from your movements or should he be in bliss for feeling these foreign things simultaneously.

you're able to tell whenever luocha's in deep thought from how often you spend time with him. at last, those instincts came in handy as you turn to take a brief look of his face, catching a glimpse of tears burning his viridescent eyes. 'he's so overwhelmed' you thought to yourself. "shh. don't think about anything else. think only of me . . think only of how i'm tending to your body." you momentarily stop suckling on his neck and press a gentle one on his lips, "you love me too . . don't you?"

he nods - basically a signal for you to continue and bring it to another level, this time, pleasuring his chest with skillful fingers and the pointy tip of your tongue flicking around his hardened buds. a deep yet breathy mewl follows suit from luocha's lips, he bucks his hips upwards as well to match your tempo - a sickening fast pace from the adrenaline rushing into your veins. "holy shit! this is amazing, show me more . . more!"

your eyes widen in excitement, noticing the littlest hints that luocha is enjoying the moment. as if your guts tell you the next step, you lean backwards and reach for luocha's hole, teasing his entrance slightly with your digits drenched with saliva and sweat. he rocks his hips in a different pace from previously, you turn to see beads of precum already stream out the little slit.

"today you'll also experience what it feels like to catch that feeling only to start at square one again." your worded it rather slyly and stop, earning a weak growl from luocha's mouth. looking back at luocha again, he looked . . helpless.

impotent sexual frustration washed over him, blinded by the lascivious thoughts flaring inside his mind. having a quick rest lets you admire the sight underneath you - luocha's flaxen hair is all disheveled and messy, his naked body is glazed of sweat mixed with your slick juices, and most of all, his eyes seem different. eyes are window to the soul, a lot of people say so. but now as they've turned into blank slates of green shades, the corners of your lips tug upwards.

he's definitely whipped of love and lust as you can tell there wasn't a single thought behind those eyes. "i'll train your body not to cum eagerly, okay?" you ask rhetorically although you weren't really expecting an answer. luocha couldn't form any rational thoughts the longer the session dragged on, making him nothing but a tool to quench your satisfaction.

my masterlist !

#ꨄten thirsts #luocha x reader #luocha x reader smut #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail luocha #hsr luocha #hsr x reader #hsr x reader smut #honkai star rail x reader smut

[bruisedboys]

congrats on 4k!! you’ve quickly become one of my fav writers. i always go back to you when i want something to read especially all you’re shy!readers! i’m shy and anxious as well and the way you write it is very relatable <3

may i request eddie or steve (your choice) with “do you trust me?” “yes”?

thank you baby! you’re too sweet omg. I changed the dialogue up just a tiny bit but the idea is the same! I love u and thank u for the ask x

shy!fem!reader join the celebration!

You’re nervous. Steve can tell, not because you’re being loud about it, because you never are about anything, but because you’re the quietest you’ve been since your first date with him. A first date which, although Steve thought he’d blown it the moment he’d called you pretty and you wouldn’t look him in the eye for five whole minutes, turned into you being Steve’s very new girlfriend.

He watches you pick at your nails, a frown pulling at your pretty lips. He knows exactly why you’re nervous, even though he’s not an expert at reading you just yet. It’s not rocket science — anyone would be nervous for a job interview. Unfortunately, you get nerves in unfair and extremely large dosages compared to everyone else.

Steve shuffles closer to you on the hood of his car where you’re both situated, his thigh almost touching yours. “Y/N?”

You must hear him because you stop picking at your nails, but you show no other sign of acknowledging him. Steve knows you’re not being rude, ‘cos when are you ever? You’re the sweetest girl he’s ever met. Sweetest and shyest. Hence the silence.

“Hey, look at me?” He asks gently, sliding a hand in between yours and taking your much smaller hand in his. He squeezes it for good measure. “Wanna talk to ya.”

You squeeze his hand back, albeit much less confidently, but it still makes Steve’s heart race. He’s new to your affections, shy but sweet and totally endearing. Every time you do something like this he ends up liking you even more, which is saying something.

Steve waits for you to look at him. When you do it’s like all the air’s been knocked out his chest. You’re so pretty it hurts, and even worse, you don’t even know it.

“You look really pretty today,” he says without really meaning to — he sometimes (always) forgets to hold his tongue around you. It becomes a problem when he starts dishing out compliments and you get all flustered from them. Speaking of flustered, you go all shy and blink at him adorably as if he’s the sun.

“Steve,” you say, almost exasperated.

Steve really likes how you say his name. It shows in his smile. “What? It’s true.”

You duck your head and cover your eyes with your free hand. “Stop,” you murmur, but you sound like you’re smiling.

Steve laughs. You’re the cutest. He’s called you pretty and you’re acting like he just hung the moon for you. He’d hate to see your reaction when he really gets going.

“I’m sorry,” he says, still grinning like a madman, pulling at your wrist gently to get you to uncover your face. “Hey, come out, I still wanna talk.”

You oblige, letting him unmask you till you’re flushed and smiling in the late afternoon sun. He pulls both your hands into his lap with no intention of letting them go.

“I know you’re feeling nervous about the interview,” he says slowly. “And I know nothing I can say will really help, but I promise you it’s gonna be okay.”

Steve waits for you to say something. When you do, you’re frowning. “You don’t know that, Steve. I’m probably gonna get all awkward and mess it up.”

Steve tuts at you, his thumb finding a stretch of skin on your hand that he can rub circles into. “You won’t. You won’t mess it up, hun, I promise. I’m gonna be there the whole time, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you repeat back softly. Your eyes follow Steve’s hands as he pulls one of your hands to his lips, his mouth to your skin. A whisper of a kiss. You go hot under his affections.

He drops your hand lest you explode into a million pieces. “I can even whisper all your lines to you to help you remember,” he suggests, half joking and half not.

“Steve,” you mumble, embarrassed now. You steal your hand back to pick at the rip in your jeans, a tangle of frayed threads just above your knee.

Steve laughs and is delighted when a smile works it’s way onto your lips. “Okay, maybe I won’t do that. But I will be there if you need anything at all, okay? You do trust me, right?”

You smile for real then, a staggering smile that makes Steve want to kiss you silly and then some. “Yes. Of course I do, Steve.”

Steve grins, feeling proud of you and in love with you all at once. He’s definitely taking you out for ice cream and a movie after this. No matter how the interview goes.

#★ mal writes! #⟡ 4k celebration! #steve harrington #steve harrington blurbs #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington au #steve harrington headcanons #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington x reader fluff #steve harrington fic #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington oneshot #stevesmixtape!

[writingfics-passingtime]

Hello my love!! For the mistake prompts:

Miracle Baby by Nothing but Thieves + Dealers choice!

This is such a fun idea😮‍💨 Happy drabbles!

Wasting My Time

This drabble is part of JJ’s Mixtape - a mini series based on my followers’ favourite songs and characters. You can read more of them here!

Song Prompt: Miracle Baby

Pairing: Matt Murdock x reader (romantic, no pronouns used but disclaimer that this one feels more female-implied than others)

Word Count: ~1450

CW: Swearing, mentions of drugs, explicitly implied sex

Note: First, I love the subtle roast calling this a “mistake prompt” thank you Ella 😂 this song is so cool and gave me hazy dive bar feelings, and going-home-with-hot-stranger feelings. Hope you enjoy!

Matt hated things like this.

His fingers idly tapped against the cool condensation blanketing the beer bottle on the bar in front of him, halfway torn between thinking about his trial in the morning and debating whether to go out tonight. Either way, he was itching to leave.

It was loud. The obnoxious kind of loud, not the kind where you could feel the appreciation for life and joy and merriment. Being dragged along to these stupid law school alumni mixers was the worst way to spend a Sunday evening. Yeah, you hated things like this.

But you’d just spotted the perfect distraction.

At your 10 o’clock. Tall, dark, handsome, sitting alone at the bar. Better yet, he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but here, so, common ground.

You made your way through the masses, through the thick and clogged atmosphere saturated with terrible work-related jokes and the desperation to impress. Everyone else was in a sea of familiar faces but not you. You didn’t go to Columbia for law school. You only came because your roommate was too shy to come alone and promised she wouldn’t abandon you the exact way she did about five minutes ago.

Besides, you’d only lived in New York for three months and you’d spent so much energy settling into your dream law job that you hadn’t given much attention to making friends. Or to sex. But that was about to change.

Hence, the lone wolf at the bar.

After ordering some kind of sour cherry and lime cocktail with an over-the-top name, you settled on the stool next to the man. He didn’t acknowledge you and a quick glance at his walking stick gave you an indication as to why not.

“Let me guess,” you turned your head towards him and he looked your way. “Criminal law?”

He nodded, smiling with half his mouth. “What gave it away: the cheap suit, or the air of constant dread?”

You laughed, and the sound of it made Matt’s smile crack open. “You didn’t hand me a business card the second I sat down. And the lack of white powder around your nose.”

He laughed back, and you were successfully distracted.

His name was Matt, you soon learned. Past knowing he practised criminal law and that he graduated from Columbia you learned nothing more about his law career. You told him you were new in town, he told you he’d lived here his whole life, you told him you were grateful to meet someone so normal who’s been around forever and still thinks this city is worth staying in. He asked you why you chose New York and you said it just seemed like the right place to be. You couldn’t explain in. You blushed when you admitted it and your heartbeat picked up, so maybe you were doubting that decision.

He asked you about your hometown and turned his body completely towards you. You told him about it, about escaping on scholarship to Princeton, and your knees were soon gently resting against his. Somewhere throughout the course of the conversation, he rolled the sleeves of his white dress shirt up to just below his elbows. He took his time, made a subtle show of it.

You sipped slowly, Matt noticed; you weren’t here to get drunk. The citrus of your drink complimented the lavender in your shampoo, body wash, whatever the fuck it was that was the calmest thing in this place. It was clear you two were getting on well. So much so, no one bothered you.

Finally, he asked: “Where do you practise?”

“Nuh-uh,” you shook your head and pulled a knotted cherry stem from your teeth. “You and I are having a nice conversation here, Matt,” you chuckled. “All I do, all fucking day, is talk about law, think about law, breathe the fucking law-”

He grinned and held up an apologetic hand. “Message received.”

“Let’s talk about anything else.”

“Okay,” he held up that same hand towards you, putting the ball squarely in your court. “Shoot.”

You narrowed your eyes and twirled the stem between your fingertips. After a moment of contemplation, knowing very well where this may lead, you decided that this tall, dark and handsome distraction was worth the risky line.

“Do you think you could beat a grizzly bear in a fight?”

His eyebrows shot up but he didn’t stutter. “Excuse me?”

“No weapons. Pure brawn. One-on-one. Who wins, you or the bear?”

“The bear,” he waved his hand decisively. “No question.”

“Thank god,” you breathed in relief, nursing a smirk behind the stem in your fingers. His puzzled look was his question, so you answered. “Six percent of American men think they could beat a grizzly bear in a fight. Which means, there are about…” you looked around in a estimate head count, “four men in this bar who vastly overestimate their abilities.”

Matt bumped his eyebrows. Another question.

“I’m just making sure you’re not one of the four,” you said after another sip. Your glass was almost empty.

“Oh?” Matt cocked his head and found himself drawn in closer. “And why is that?”

You placed your now-empty glass down, letting it hit with a finality against the wooden bar. “Forgive me if I read you wrong, just seemed like you were searching for a reason to get the hell outta here too.”

Matt let your comment linger, and lifted the bottle to his lips to take another swig. He drained the last little bit and placed it on the counter next to yours. Your heart was beating pretty fast and you tried to calm your cherry-stained breathing, tried to look cool and collected. You wanted him, and you were the perfect distraction.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

Your breath in was shaky. Risky. No one else would’ve heard it.

“I’m just making sure I’m not wasting my time,” you said. “It’s not usually that fun, going home with a man who thinks they’re more capable than they actually are.”

He laughed once through his nose and pulled his beaten leather wallet from his coat pocket, placing thirty on the table to cover his beer, your cocktail and a tip for the bartender. “Trust me, sweetheart,” he stood and held his open palm out to you. You took his hand and left your stool with your coat and bag over your other arm. He leaned down, leaned in, so you could hear his husky promise over the sound of the bar. “You have no idea what I’m capable of.”

Sufficed to say, you had never met a more capable man.

His place was nice, his sheets were clean, he was strong and generous and attentive and that was a big problem. Because this was supposed to just be a distraction. A one-night thing. But it was hard to leave his bed at two thirty in the morning, it felt like tearing yourself away. And that was a problem.

Stay, he’d said. He had fresh towels, a toothbrush, he’d call you a cab in the morning after he’d made you coffee. I can’t, you said. On any other night you would have, but tomorrow was a big day. He understood, didn’t press the matter, and he called you a cab after wishing you a twenty-minute goodbye.

It was only at quarter to nine that same morning, when you were walking up the front steps with a takeaway coffee in hand, that you realised you didn’t have any way to contact him other than through your roommate, who might have his information. You didn’t even know Matt’s last name.

Matt thought about you as Foggy prepped the client in hushed whispers from the defence table. As he straightened files and pens and his personal voice recorder, he wondered when he’d run into you again. You’d been a good distraction. Too good. It was like you were still next to him, like he could still smell the cherry and lime, the lavender and honey and-… wait.

You settled next to your boss and put thoughts of last night out of your head, ready and focused to take on the day. It was a big one. For the first time since moving to New York, you were the lead on a case.

Matt’s mind raced as he listened to every whisper in the courtroom, and as he listened to them hush as the judge kicked off proceedings from the bench.

“Are we ready to begin?” Judge Wallace asked in a deadpan, looking straight to the defence’s table. Foggy stood.

“Defence is ready, Your Honour.”

From fifteen feet away, Matt heard the prosecutor stand. He closed his eyes behind his glasses and held in a sigh when he heard your voice say:

“Thank you, Your Honour. The State is ready to proceed.”

Oh… fuck.

#spicy matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock Drabble #matt Murdock x you #daredevil x you #daredevil x reader #i love enemies to lovers but is this the opposite ??? #Yes I’ve been gone for three plus months #But im just in the mood to write today #and I’m on a Matt Murdock high right now #Marvel x reader #JJ’s mixtape

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

🗒️ Vandal 🗒️

Word Count: 16,000+ (And nobody asked for any of it!)

Summary: A quiet high school student looks a little too closely at the tragic events afflicting their hometown. Can you uncover the truth while keeping your own secrets hidden? Or will a lapse in judgment expose you to a world of hurt? || Kol x disabled!reader || Here lies my Masterlist

Warnings: Some language, references to blood and gore, Kol being a psycho, and some dubious consent but nothing violent or graphic. This turned out a little more Yandere than I intended. Just expect ya gal's general tomfoolery.

A/N: Howdy-doo, this is your captain speaking. I know I promised a lot of you that I would have the sequel to Run for Your Life finished last week, but it's still not done and I'm really sorry. I wrote this instead. Please forgive me. I hate letting y'all down but inspiration has been really low as of late and, as some of you know, I've been facing some very serious struggles with people in my life. My sense of self-worth has been suffering, but writing this fic has been my best escape. So again, I'm really sorry to those who were expecting the Klaus fic, but I hope you like this one nonetheless.

🗒️ Story Begins Below 🗒️

When Niklaus Mikaelson confined himself to his studio, it was common knowledge among all parties of blood relation to the original hybrid that any sibling who valued their breathing privileges should promptly vacate the premises until such a time as that tortured artist ceased muttering his internal monologue aloud. 

Kol, for one, was quite fond of his breathing privileges, thank you very much. 

Ugh, breathing. 

The one thing he’d never thought would require adjusting to through the centuries was now yet another factor among a dozen others that required getting used to. 

The air of this new age he’d found himself in was thick and hazy with chemicals and other nonsense he didn’t care to think about. Drawing the filthy mixture into his lungs required significantly more effort from him than it used to. He wondered vaguely how the humans surrounding his seat at the bar of this stodgy town’s only decent restaurant did it with such ease. It must’ve been tiring. Perhaps that was why so many of the patrons around him seemed content to spend their morning religiously devoted to quaffing down as much of that - oh, what had Mary-Alice called it? - caffeine stuff as they could possibly contain. 

Though the name would suggest otherwise, Kol figured the only way the Mystic Grill, as the place was called, could remain in business was to serve breakfast, lunch, dinner, and drinks. Hence why the place was packed with half-conscious teenagers at the ungodly hour of six in the morning, stopping off for something to eat on their way to school. How did Rebekah enjoy this? Though she’d accompanied him to the grill, Kol’s sister had been quick to grab her coffee and ditch him. She wanted to arrive to school early so she could “talk”. (The notion tempted Kol to impale himself on a billiard cue.) 

Rebekah was also rather upset with him, or more specifically, his newfound enrollment in her high school. There was nothing he could do about that, however. If it was up to him, Kol would choose to spend his time literally any place else. Unfortunately for him, after that little incident with Rebekah’s date, mother dearest had been contemplating ways to keep him in line. High school was evidently what she’d come up with. It was Finn’s idea actually. Kol’s eldest brother - dull lout that he was - had suggested that perhaps attending high school with his sister would provide a convenient way for Kol to catch up on recent history, as well as assist him in developing some control over his appetite seeing as each family member had given their word not to shed the blood of any locals. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Esther had done more than just readily agree. She’d also cast a tracking spell on him. If he strayed beyond the town’s limits, she would know. 

Rest assured, he would find a way to weasel out of it - that was certain. But for now, Kol was stumped. This resurrected version of his mother wasn’t quite so dismissive of him as she’d been in Kol’s human life. He should have liked that - should have reveled in it. Yet, having her attention this time around came with a cold harshness he wasn’t so fond of. For now though, he would have to endure his punishment. Thanks to Klaus, he couldn’t even skip out.

Thus Kol found himself in an overly crowded restaurant, at six in the morning on his first day of school, surrounded by teenagers.

Kol desperately wished he could eat one or two of them. 

They were so rowdy and obnoxious. The whole world it seemed had grown significantly louder since he’d been daggered in nineteen fourteen. So much information assaulting his senses constantly. It was maddening. Being surrounded by thirty or so warm bodies didn’t exactly help. The chorus of their heartbeats fell on his sensitive ears like the cresting of ocean waves and like a riptide, he would surely be carried away if he allowed himself to listen much longer. 

The boy’s throat burned. He was hungry. Always hungry. He could practically taste the relief on his tongue. The high he could get from just one little cheerleader…

Kol got up from his seat, grabbed his bag, and shoved his way out the door, cursing Finn’s name to Hel and back. He reached the end of the street and stopped. Raking his fingers through his hair, Kol rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath.

Wrong move.

A gentle autumn breeze swept past and carried with it a hint of something sweet. No, that was too tame. That scent on the air was like pure sugar and spring water, something like berries and roses and cotton candy all rolled into one supremely tempting aroma so overpowering he nearly choked. White hot pain shot through him and his mouth watered. He was standing in the midst of town square before he even realized he’d moved. 

There, kneeling hunched over on the ground, all alone in the early morning, was a young woman who looked about the same age as he did. Any view of her face was obscured by the curtain of her hair as it fell around her in something of an untamed mess. Her clothes, nothing fancier than a t-shirt and shorts, were rumpled and irreparably stained with just about every color one could imagine as she focused intently on whatever she was doing. Scattered all around her were about a dozen cans of paint and at least a hundred individual sticks of chalk in a variety of shades. She was decorating the walkways, Kol realized as he watched her dip her hand directly into one of the cans of paint before slathering the color over the flagstones she was working on. Once satisfied that the area was evenly covered, she sat up.

The girl paused to wipe her hand on a wet rag before shuffling back around to a different section where the paint looked a little drier. 

Kol had just enough time to register the pattern of scrapes that decorated her hands and knees before that delicious scent washed over him again. It was stronger now that he was so close and like a punch to the gut, just a whiff of it knocked the wind out of him. His throat seared and his fangs ached. She was right there in front of him, trickles of blood seeping from her hands and knees - rivers of temptation. Whatever ichor was rushing through that girl’s veins would certainly be divine. Kol wanted it. He wanted to taste her warm human skin - wanted to lick the scarlet from those teasing little scrapes she’d made. No one was around. He could have that sweet, sweet crimson ambrosia all to himself. 

There was just one problem. This girl was a local. Her residence was clear from the tags dangling from her backpack which she’d tossed a few feet away. Kol couldn’t eat any of the locals, he’d given his word on it. 

Unfortunately for him, that boy’s sense of honor apparently wasn’t enough to keep his legs from moving. He was standing over her shoulder in a matter of seconds. His looming shadow must have caught her attention because the girl paused her work (she was rubbing lines of chalk into the paint now) and twisted around to look up at him, squinting against the rising sun at his back. Her cheeks were twinged with a delicious shade of pink, likely due to the warm, humid morning, and she smiled in a friendly, albeit slightly confused way.

“Hey!” She greeted - voice practically a chirp. The girl lifted a hand to her face in an effort to further block out the sun, but the offensive light couldn’t dampen her smile. Kol fought the urge to roll his eyes at her sunny disposition.

“Good morning, darling.” He flashed her a grin - the crooked one that made girls like her faint. Kol gestured to the swirling mix of hues currently stinging his eyes. “What’s this going to be?” 

The girl blinked and tilted her head. “Could you say that a little louder?” She asked. Her voice was soft but rich with a delicate, wispy quality to it like a warm caramel stretched apart. He supposed it wasn’t entirely unpleasant to listen to.

“Are you painting something specific or is it more abstract?” He wondered, raising his voice a little. Abstract was certainly the most polite term for eyesore, he thought. 

“Oh, uh, yeah! It’s Mystic Falls,” She said brightly. Then she paused. Her face scrunched up a bit and even Kol could admit it was a little endearing. “Um, I mean, not the town, but like, the falls as in the waterfalls… yeah.” Her voice tapered off into a whisper at the end and she cast her eyes away. 

Kol hummed. “I see.” He didn't actually care, however. He’d seen enough. This girl, tantalizing as her blood might be, wasn’t worth his time - nor his mother’s wrath should he break his oath. There was no thrill in chasing someone like that, girls like her gave in too easily. 

Without warning, the little artist stiffened and whipped her head back up to face him, drawing Kol from his thoughts. 

“Say, what’s the time?” She wondered, biting her lip anxiously. Her lips looked rather tasty when she did that.

Kol raised a brow and checked his watch. “Ten to seven,” He answered. 

She cocked her head again. “Sorry, what?”

“Ten to seven,” He repeated a little louder.

“Huh?”

“Bloody hell!” The boy huffed. “It’s six-fifty! Are you Deaf?”

She snorted. “Uh, huh. Yeah.” Kol’s eyes narrowed but the girl only turned her head, shoving a lock of hair back to reveal some technological array perched over her ear. The artist shrugged and faced him again. “It’s the accent, I think. Plus, it ain’t my fault you mumble. What time did you say it was again? I forgot.”

It wasn’t the disability that annoyed him, he wasn’t that shallow. It was her attitude he couldn’t stand. 

“Six. Fifty. One,” He ground out through clenched teeth.

Her eyes widened. “CRAP!” 

The annoying little artist sprang to her feet, scooped her bag from where she’d flung it, and dashed off just like that. He huffed at her lack of tact - not so much as a word of thanks. It was probably best for both of them if they never saw each other again. That mouth-watering ray of sunshine was unlikely to survive another encounter with him.

As he debated whether or not to just wander around aimlessly for the remainder of the day, Kol caught sight of an object that must have tumbled out of the artist’s bag. Only the slightest bit curious, he bent down to pick it up. Upon taking a closer look at it, Kol raised a brow. Well worn and faded, the sketchbook in his hands was nothing special - almost every artist had one, that was no surprise. What caught his attention, however, was the design on the cover, or more accurately, what had been made of it. Whereas the front of the sketchbook had once depicted a quaint scene from what he recognized to be the story Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, with little Alice looking up at the Cheshire Cat perched lazily in a tree, the girl had turned it into something far more sinister. 

For one thing, she’d given Alice a broadsword. Her dress had been redecorated with dirt stains and blood. As for the Cheshire Cat, the artist had transformed the feline into a marionette with blood-stained teeth and dreadful claws. The background had been scribbled out with a black marker. All save for a grinning silhouette, tugging at the strings of its Cheshire Cat puppet, and a line of bold, bloody letters spelling out the phrase: “We’re All Mad Here.”

It was a delightfully grotesque perversion of a story Kol had rather enjoyed reading when it was first published. Perhaps that girl wasn’t quite so boring after all. 

Kol smirked and slipped the sketchbook into his own school bag. Serves her right for being so disrespectful. Besides, the book was steeped in that exquisite aroma of hers, and if he couldn’t devour the poor thing then keeping a little memento was his next best option. If she wanted it back, she’d simply have to prove herself deserving of it. Until then, that little book of horrors was all his.

Who knows what he might do with it?

No matter what, this was bound to be… entertaining.

***

You’d never liked cheerleaders. They’d always seemed so shallowly chipper - the sort of nice that giggles behind a person’s back. Most people said you were just jealous, wishing you could have their beauty, body, or popularity. They were wrong, of course, cheerleading simply wasn’t your thing. As for appearances, at least you were confident enough in your looks that you didn’t require validation from fellow minors. You never corrected the masses though. You let them think whatever they want. (After all, you had other, more important things on your mind.)

All feelings about cheerleaders aside, they were excellent subjects for drawing poses. It was them or the football team and you couldn’t be paid enough to go anywhere near them. Besides, you had already obtained permission from the members of the cheer squad to sit in on their practices. They figured you must have been lonely and seeking their approval. You didn’t correct them either. The girls on the squad were nice enough, though you didn’t know any of them very well. Just some first names. 

Caroline, Bonnie, Amber, Laura, Rebekah. 

Now that Rebekah was an odd one. She sort of unnerved you. Like the rest, the British blonde was nice enough, but something about her wasn’t quite right. She’d just dropped off the map for a month and a half and then showed up today as if she’d never been gone. Then there was her relationship with the other cheerleaders. Half of them avoided her like the plague and the other half worshiped the ground she walked on. It wasn’t normal.

Life isn’t like the drama shows all over tv. Kids in the real world don’t act that way. 

You hadn’t grown up in Mystic Falls. Your parents moved your family into town one year ago. Though you were just a sophomore then, you knew enough to understand that something about this whole town and everything that had been happening within the last year just wasn’t right. Within your sophomore and junior years alone, no less than twenty-six kids were reported missing. At least six were later confirmed dead.

Was it really any wonder you kept to yourself? 

You were fine with being alone. It didn’t bother you. 

What bothered you was that you had somehow lost track of your sketchbook. That bundle of pages hardly ever left your person. You never went anywhere without it, and yet when you had sat on the bleachers and reached into your backpack to pull it out, lo and behold, it was nowhere to be found. Who knew what small-town hic had gotten their grubby little hands on it? 

Alright, that was mean. You just wanted your book back. The idea of someone else flipping through your sketches irked you to no end.

“Well hello again, darling!” A semi-familiar voice rang out from behind you on the bleachers and you twisted around to face him. Had that kid been up there all this time? The boy grinned down at you. “Fancy meeting you here.”

You offered him a tight smile. 

“Yeah,” You said quietly. “Fancy that.”

The boy was pretty, that was for sure. Dark hair, dark eyes, a strong brow, and a sharp jawline. Not to mention that smile, you’d sooner light yourself on fire than call it “dazzling” but you would like to draw it sometime. All in all, he was probably the closest thing to masculine perfection you would ever lay eyes upon. But you weren’t dumb enough to judge a person off of looks alone. 

Though you had nothing to go off of aside from your brief meeting that morning, you didn’t quite like that kid. On the surface, he seemed alright. A little impatient but still pretty normal. It was the way he looked at you… it reminded you of the feeling you got back in your old town whenever you noticed that your best friend's pet boa constrictor was watching you from inside its tank - how its eyes would follow you no matter what you did. It wasn’t an exactly pleasant sensation. Those onyx eyes of his - when you looked into them, you couldn’t see much of a person looking back. His eyes sparkled when he smiled but behind them… behind them there was nothing. A charming grin without a person inside.

The boy’s odd smile only broadened. 

“You know, I-I didn’t take you for the cheerleading type,” He said. You tucked a strand of hair back behind your ear, squinting against the sun in your eyes. Did he always have to position himself so you had to blind yourself to look at him?

“I’m… not.”

He chuckled. “Obviously.” Climbing to his feet, the boy hopped up onto the seat in front of him and walked gracefully down to your level - at least, as gracefully as one can while walking on bleachers. You should probably warn him about the-

“Careful, that next one wobbles,” You spoke up. Your voice never seemed to come out as loud as you intended, yet he didn’t seem to have a problem catching it. 

“Ah-” He tested the next row with his foot and stepped over it lightly. “Thank you very much.” He grinned again as he jumped down beside you.

The boy was much too close for your liking. 

“You’re welcome,” You mumbled, shuffling away slightly. He only leaned in closer.

“So, if you’re with the cheerleaders, but you’re not one of them, then what does that make you?” He wondered, oblivious or insensitive to your discomfort. You couldn’t tell which. “Unrequited lover or wannabe?”

He raised a brow, smirking in a way that appeared bemused but you could sense its condescending edge. You just shrugged. He could think whatever he wanted. 

He was baiting you, that you were sure of. The dark-haired senior wanted you to answer. He waited for you to answer. But his was a lure you weren't going to bite.  You just kept on drawing - filling in lines, and fine-tuning expressions. You were sure he would give up eventually, kids like him always did.

“Are those your chemistry notes?” He asked finally. 

You hummed and nodded. You’d never been too much of a talker. It had nothing to do with your hearing loss, or maybe it did. That was just who you were either way.

“And you’re sketching in them?”

You shrugged. “Lost my sketchbook.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” At least he had the decency to sound sympathetic. “Did you have it this morning?” You nodded. This boy was persistent, you would give him that. He kept talking. “I see… Well, I'm sorry to hear that, darling. I would have loved to see it,” He said. 

Your lips twitched up in a smile. You wouldn’t have shown him anyway, but that didn’t matter.

“Thanks,” You whispered.

"You never answered my question," He pointed out. He was trying to get to you - get closer to you - and while any other girl would do backflips for the attention of a boy like him, you weren't any other girl. If he wanted to know you, then you couldn't let that happen. If you did, he might figure out your secret. Then you could lose everything - your education, your clean record, and the only money-making opportunity you were likely to get in this tiny, provincial town.

"I know." You sighed and closed your substitute sketchbook, just a little fed up. Maybe it was time to let the sunny, shy-girl facade drop. Perhaps a quick glimpse of who you really were would deter him. "But you're here too. So which are you? Unrequited lover or wannabe?"

The boy threw his head back and laughed, loud and clear. His laugh sounded like a stone splashing into a calm pond. Sudden and unique - one of a kind. When his gaze returned to you, he seemed to look you over as if reevaluating his previous judgment of your character. After a moment, he gave a slight nod and shrugged. 

"That's a fair point you make there, darling. I'll have to disappoint you, however, as I am merely here to pick up my sister." He gestured to the girls practicing on the field and then shot you a smirk. The boy held out his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, darling. I'm Kol, Kol Mikaelson.”

Your eyes flicked to his outstretched hand, weary.

"I…" 

Glancing up, you met the endless black pits that were his eyes. Your stomach felt queasy. Better to be safe than sorry.

You pushed his hand away. "I… don't particularly care." 

Without another word, you packed up your things and skipped down the bleachers. Exiting left of the football field. 

Perhaps you'd left him stunned. You didn't bother looking back to check.

You started seeing Kol quite often after that, which wouldn't have been weird had he not been a year above you. If it wasn't coincidence that saw you sharing both lunch period and study hall with him, then you didn't want to think about what it was. He kept his distance, which you appreciated. Kol didn't approach you for a while, but whenever you were in the same room with him you couldn't seem to shake a feeling that you were being watched. Closely. 

The day that pattern changed was the day you walked down the hall and found yourself greeted by photocopies of your art taped to every locker. A chill ran down your spine as your eyes landed on that first row of metal doors. The papers fluttered in the wind generated by passing students but you would recognize your art anywhere. 

It was one of the pages from your sketchbook - one of the sketches no one was supposed to see. 

This one depicted the football team, gathered on the field for practice. The sky above was dark and they had their helmets off. Each player's complexion was ghostly pale and their glowing red eyes all stared soullessly at the viewer. Their expressions displayed no emotion, but together they stood in a threatening formation. You had taken inspiration from both classic zombie movies and The Matrix for that sketch. In the top left corner, you had etched the title. You called it "The Hive." 

The only problem was, you hadn't exactly obtained the team's permission to draw it. 

To make matters worse, someone had added an inscription to the image that read: "Members of The Hive possess no individual thought or personality. Furthermore, they acknowledge only other facets of their collective consciousness." The words were scrawled across a crumpled sticky note attached to the top right-hand corner of the page. You hadn't written those words, but it sure looked like your handwriting. Your name was even signed at the bottom.

Someone had stolen and altered your sketchbook, and now they were using it against you.

Panic and paranoia welled up inside you. Clutching your books to your chest, you quickened your pace, catching glimpses of more and more hallways decorated with your sketch. Whispers followed you as you rushed down the hall to your locker, hoping to escape and find solace in your first class of the day, but you had no such luck. Reaching your destination, you gasped at the sight before you, recoiling in shame and confusion. It was like a shot taken straight from a television drama. This thief - whoever they were - had covered your locker with copies of that picture. 

Who would do something like this? You had only been in town a year - you wouldn't have thought that long enough to garner this degree of animosity from anyone.

"What the actual hell, Y/N?" A student exclaimed from down the hall.

Your mouth hung, gaping in shock and you floundered for something - anything to say. There was nothing. No defense. 

"Yeah, Y/L/N! What did Matt and the team ever do to you?"

Your eyes widened. "What?" You shook your head, blinking rapidly as you tried to explain, but your voice refused to rise over the commotion, accusations, and judgment. "N-no, they didn't. I mean, I wasn't trying to-to…"

"You realize how sick this is, right?" Another kid demanded, closer to you this time. "Like, seriously. Judgy much?"

"No, it's not like that," You insisted. It felt like your whole world had been tossed upside down. "I-I just-" You stammered, hapless. For once, it was the people around you who couldn't seem to hear.

"What a creep," Muttered someone else as they passed close enough for your hearing aids to register. Was that what everyone thought of you?

"No! Y-you don't understand! I-I didn't mean it like that. I-" Your heart sank. Shame overwhelmed you and you buried your face in your hands, sliding down the wall to the floor.

Your heart felt like a voodoo doll, impaled with all sorts of pins. You'd never felt impressed to explain yourself to anyone. You had never cared what anyone else thought of you. But when you had imagined all the ways your life might fall apart, this wasn't one of the ways you had envisioned. That drawing and the dozens of others like it - they were yours. 

You wished you'd never made them in the first place.

Shaking your head, you switched off your hearing aids and hugged your arms around yourself, perfectly content to stew in your own misery. A dull roar met your ears as students passed by. None stopped to address you. A few of them tossed crumpled-up photocopies of your sketch at your head but you ignored them.

Then a hand settled itself on your knee. 

Startled, you peeked between your fingers, expecting someone like the assistant principal or guidance counselor to be kneeling in front of you. Instead, you were met with the concerned countenance of none other than Kol Mikaelson. 

You froze, staring at him with wide eyes. 

He proffered a gentle smile and said something, but his words were lost to the prattling hum that encompassed your world without hearing aids. You preferred it this way. It was your natural state. You saw instead of listened, it was what made you such a good artist. Or so you'd thought.

You shook your head at him weakly, pointing to your ears, and mouthed, "I can't hear you."

Why was he here? Was he just going to tease you as he had a few weeks ago on the football stands? 

Kol nodded. "I know," He signed. His movements were small and lax - nonthreatening. 

Unsure how to interpret his sudden kindness and understanding, you shifted to sit up a little straighter, eyeing him. Kol's lips pressed into a thin line that tried to look like a smile. Without warning, he removed the textbooks resting in your lap and stood.

"Let's get you out of here, yeah?" He sighed, offering you his hand. Hesitantly, you reached out and took it, allowing him to pull you to your feet. You stiffened as the boy let go of your hand and instead wrapped his arm around your waist. He pulled you swiftly against his side, shielding you from the view of others in the hallway as he hastily but gently herded you down crowded hallways and out the heavy steel front doors. 

Just outside the school, there were picnic tables set up where students could sit to study or eat lunch. Those were deserted by now as first period was speedily approaching. Kol guided you to one of them and dropped your books on the table, gesturing for you to sit. You weren't overly fond of being told what to do, but you figured this was probably Kol's best effort to be nice so you obliged. He sat down in front of you and cupped your jaw in his hand. With his brows furrowed and expression drawn the boy seemed to be inspecting your face, though for what you couldn't be sure. 

Absently, you noticed that his hands were very warm despite the changing season. (Why that thought made your stomach queasy was a question for another time.)

Kol's thumb brushed over your cheek and you wanted to look away to hide the flare of heat that consumed your cheeks, but he wouldn't let you. 

"Well, you're not panicking," He observed after what felt like an eternity. "That's good." 

His words were muffled without your hearing aids but now, away from the commotion of the bustling hallways, you could understand him well enough. 

You gave a small nod and, refusing to meet his eyes, focused instead on the grass beneath your feet. 

"I'm fine," You whispered. Your voice was a little hoarse but he didn't know you well enough to recognize that. 

"Are you sure?"

The question was inevitable, yet you found yourself scowling anyway. 

Of course you were fine. You were always fine. 

You wanted to tell him that you didn't want his pity, that you weren't some distressing damsel and that he needed to mind his own business. You weren't some charity case he could use to prove to all the senior girls that he could be a sensitive boyfriend. (You'd been there once. You weren't going through it again.) But, as always, the boldness in your head could never seem to leave your lips.

"It's not your responsibility to take care of me," You told him instead. In your lap, your hands fiddled and tugged on the too-long sleeves of your sweater. You'd gotten chalk on your jeans again.

He let his hand drop and the swirling autumn winds cooled your cheeks. You sort of missed the warmth.

"I know that." Kol's concern morphed into a smirk. This was it. You prepared for the incoming ridicule. It never came. "You don't like anyone getting close, do you?" He guessed, casually leaning back as though he already knew the answer. (And respected it.) "Makes you uncomfortable, I'd imagine."

You shrugged and picked at the loose threads on your sleeve. Honestly, he was right - you were just a bucket of trust issues in a Technicolor wrapper. But was that any of his business? No.

"Why are you here?" You wondered in lieu of an answer. 

Kol raised a brow. "Apologies, darling. I was unaware that it's illegal for a bloke to be a good friend 'this side of the pond." 

"It's not illegal," You said. Your eyes narrowed. "But we're not friends."

You'd made a handful of friends since moving to this town. None of them had come to your aid. Then again, none of them knew about your sketchbook.

Kol smirked. "Consider this an application then!" He surmised, eyes glinting. Those unnerving tar pits seemed a little less dead today than they had before. What changed? He chuckled, amused at your loss for words, and continued. "Besides, I get the feeling I'm just about the only one who knows that sketchbook of yours was stolen from you. The only thing I want to know is, what made you draw that picture?" 

Maybe… if you told him the truth about the sketches, he wouldn't look any closer. 

"I don't like Stefan Salvatore," Came your quiet answer. 

That didn't seem to be what he was expecting, but he didn't look disappointed. Kol's lips twitched and he wet his lips in a way that betrayed a certain excitement. 

"Go on."

You took a breath.

"He and I were the only two new kids last year," You began. If you said this, you were going to sound like a lunatic, that was why you'd always opted to draw it out instead. "Strange things happen in this town, and they happen around him. No town has as many "animal attacks" as this one and those only started when he showed up. People started going missing. Some were found dead. Mr. Saltzman is our history teacher because the guy before him got ripped up right over there in the parking lot just before Stefan's first game as part of team. The police said it was a mountain lion, but I was there; I saw the body and there were no scratches. Then there's the way some of his friends a-and Mr. Saltzman look at him sometimes - I've seen them do it - like he's about to murder everyone in the room and they don't know how to stop him."

Kol stared at you. His expression had grown increasingly weary the longer you kept on rambling. When you finally closed your mouth, he nodded slowly, brows furrowed. You bit your lip, awaiting his response.

"That is…" He trailed off. To your great surprise, however, he nodded as if he actually believed you. "Deeply disturbing, darling." Kol's eyes narrowed and he leaned in closer. "You say you saw your teacher's corpse?" He asked.

You nodded. "The "bite" on his neck looked a lot more like buck-shot to me."

His eyes widened. "You think someone killed him?" He hissed.

"And the police covered it up."

"So why draw the football team?"

You hugged your arms around yourself. "Because Matt Donovan is in on it. It's him, Tyler Lockwood, and Stefan Salvatore - they've been acting so weird. Two months ago, Tyler and Stefan started acting really mean all of a sudden and the rest of the football team just started acting like zombies, doing anything they said. It was really freaky."

"And you drew it so you wouldn't have to be afraid." Kol nodded, smiling softly. "Put all the horrors in a little book and out of your head."

This kid had you dead to rights.

You tugged on the sleeves of your sweater. "I never meant to hurt anyone," You sighed.

"I know," He said. "For the record, I quite liked your little interpretation."

"You don't think I'm crazy?"

"I'm not sure yet," The dark-haired boy admitted with a shrug. "Honestly, I've never known another town to have as many functions as this one."

"Right?!" You exclaimed. Finally, someone else saw it! "Smells like organized crime to me…"

"Or cult activity."

"Or that."

"Or maybe you're just a little paranoid," Kol surmised. "But if that's the case, then who am I to judge?"

For the first time in a while, your shoulders shook with a genuine laugh. 

"Thanks Kol."

"Anytime, love."

And that boy lived up to his word. Over the span of the next several weeks, more of your sketches were spread about the school. It wasn't long before your so-called friends had all cut contact. Kol became the only person in town willing to talk to you. Every time a drawing was leaked, no matter how dark, twisted, or gruesome the image, Kol was always there to comfort you and compliment your art style. 

Each drawing that circulated the school was more damaging to your reputation than the last. Anyone you thought was in on the secret of Mystic Falls' suspicious deaths, you turned into a monster in the pages of your sketchbook. 

Jeremy Gilbert became a tortured Voodoo doll. 

("Well, there's an odd comparison," Kol commented idly, inspecting the array of pages that had overtaken your locker. "I quite like it."

A student shoved past you on their way to class, ramming painfully into your shoulder. You winced, aware that the action was purposeful, but you didn't say anything. Kol, however, glared at the kid - a cold, chilling sort of glare. 

You shrugged, readjusting your backpack.

"He just always seems so pained lately. 'Looks at everyone like they're gonna kill 'em.")

Elena, his sister, you portrayed as a prim, psychotic puppet master. 

("I'm sorry, but have I done something to you?" The popular and gorgeous former cheerleader asked when she confronted you about the sketch she clutched in her hand. Seniors Stefan Salvatore and Matt Donovan stood with their arms crossed, flanking her on both sides. The sight only served to reinforce the role your imagination had given her - the girl wore her ex's around her like accessories. They were always there to cover for her strange behavior.

"N-no, it's not like that. I-I-I swear!" You stammered, eyes flicking between her broad-shouldered bodyguards. You swallowed thickly. 

"Look, Y/N," Elena sighed. "I'm not mad at you, but whatever is going on in your life, you can't take it out on me. Or anyone else." 

"That's not what I'm doing," You mumbled, shuffling your feet. She didn't seem to hear you. 

"You know, if there's something bothering you, then you need to tell someone about it," Elena said. You were only a few months younger than her, yet she talked down to you as though you were a toddler. You wished the anger that flared and frothed inside you, didn't look like shame as it stained your cheeks. "I know we're not close, but you can always tell me if something's happening, okay?"

"No thank you, I'm fine." 

"Y/N, it's okay to let someone in." The girl pressed. 

You gritted your teeth, wishing she would just go. "I-"

"Pretty sure she doesn't have to tell you anything, sweetheart," A melodiously snide voice hummed from behind you. Glancing over your shoulder, you shot Kol a relieved smile. He dropped a quick wink in return before focusing on his fellow seniors. Elena and her posse seemed to tense up around him for some reason. 

"What's it to you, Kol?" Stefan demanded. 

"Oh, I dunno. Basic human decency? Nothing much," He replied. The dark-haired senior shoved his hands in his pockets and smirked, smug as a bug. 

"How 'bout you mind your own damn business for a change," Matt snapped. He almost made a move toward your friend but Elena stopped him with a hand on his arm.

Kol snorted at their reactions. "Why so defensive? 'Weren't expecting this lovely young lady to have some back-up?" He slung an arm around your shoulder and began twisting a lock of your hair around and around his finger. You sort of liked him tugging on it the way he did.

"We were just a little concerned," Elena claimed.

"Right." Kol smiled thinly. Releasing his fingers from your hair, he took a threatening step forward. You hadn't realized before just how tall that boy was. "Well, as Y/N said, she doesn't need your concern. So why don't you run along and take your puppets with you." 

The three seniors reluctantly surrendered under the force of Kol's steely glare and you watched them go, hugging your arms around yourself and shivering. Kol turned back to you. His hands found their way to your shoulders and he stopped down a little to look you in the eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked. His eyes were still dark, but not the pits of tar they'd been before. They were more like soft dirt now, holding the promise of future life. 

Kol gently smoothed his hands over your arms, spreading a gooey, molten warmth everywhere his skin touched. There was something bubbly in your lungs and the shudder that ran down your spine this time wasn't from nerves. 

You took a breath and tried to ignore how his touch made you want to melt.

"I'm fine," You lied. You were fine. You were always fine.

The boy smiled as though he didn't quite believe you. "That's good." He tilted his head in the direction Elena and the others had disappeared to. "You were right about them, though. There's definitely something strange going on there."

You nodded. "Thanks."

"Of course, darling.")

Bonnie Bennett, by the grace of your overactive imagination, had been transformed into a wicked witch. Ancient runes glowed in the air, surrounding her dark ritual. Oddly enough, the thief had changed a few of them, though you weren't sure why.  

("If I might ask, why a witch for that one?" Kol asked as the girl herself scowled venomously at you from the other side of the gym.

He sat with his arm wrapped firmly around your waist, leaning in close so you would hear him though he spoke softly, having stayed a little longer after school to help you with your chemistry homework now that no one else would. You could smell cinnamon and something tangy on his breath as his lips brushed over your ear and you tried not to shiver. The whole school probably thought you were a couple, but you knew that wasn't the case. 

"There's some weird looking stuff in that girl's locker," You whispered back, pretending to be blissfully unaware of the daggers she was glaring at your head. If you didn't know better, you would have sworn the temperature of the room dropped a few degrees. "At the fundraiser we had last year, there was this car that just caught fire outta nowhere. The thing wasn't even running and it just exploded. Everybody was freaking out and running but Bonnie just stood there, staring at it like she was possessed."

Kol glanced up at the Bennett girl again. "You know what?" He decided, tilting his head. "I can see it." He sent Bonnie a little wave and turned back to your homework. "I loved the runes you included in that drawing, though," The boy added. 

"Yeah?" You couldn't help but smile.

"Absolutely. Most of them were even correct," He shot you a crooked grin. "It was impressive."

You raised a brow. "Can you… read Runic?"

"Mmhm," He hummed, checking off another problem on your homework. "Remind me and I'll teach you sometime."

You were about to ask where and when he would have learned something like that, but the question was plucked from your brain before you got the chance.

You drew in a sharp breath as his hand, which had previously rested like a ghost's on your hip, slipped deftly under your shirt. Unsure whether you liked it or not, you couldn't decide as your brain had simply quit functioning properly. All you could seem to register was that Kol was touching you and it wasn't a "just friends" sort of touch. Your cheeks felt like they'd caught fire as you glanced up at him, blinking owlishly, only to find that he was already watching you with an unexpectedly sweet smile. He studied your expression, waiting for you to protest - to say no. 

When you remained silent, that sweet smile twisted into a smirk. Leaning down, you felt a soft, tender kiss to your cheek just as Kol pressed his fingers firmly into your skin, wasting no time before he began to explore. His hand was warm, gentle, and soft as he stroked and petted your stomach. Something warm and jittery built up in your chest. It climbed up your throat, threatening to spill out. You whimpered quietly, unable to hold it back. Yet, that only seemed to encourage him. Kol hummed and slid his hand lower with another kiss to your cheek. What was that boy doing to you? Your whole body burned as he continued to fondle and caress you shamelessly. Shuddering, you bit back a moan and curled yourself closer to him, fisting his jacket as though he could hide you from the world. Kol just smirked and continued going over your homework. 

He didn't let go of you - didn't stop touching you - until the bell rang. Then he just got up, shot you a wink, and left without another word.)

Slowly, that boy earned your trust because, though you didn't know exactly how to define your relationship with him, he was always there for you. It was nice to have someone who knew why you had drawn those pictures. Not because you were self-righteous and judgemental, but because there was something very real and very disturbing going on and you needed a way to purge the constant fear from your mind.

Kol believed you. There was something wrong with this town. You weren't crazy.

But no one else could see that. 

The day a sketch of Sheriff Forbes - Caroline's mother - made its way around the student body was the day you were called to the principal's office. The picture displayed Sheriff Forbes as a creature like the Other Mother from Coraline, dutifully sewing shut the mouths of townspeople and stitching buttons over their eyes. The Sheriff was a kind woman. She didn't deserve to be depicted that way. But at the same time, you knew she was hiding something.

So there you sat on the wrong side of the principal's desk, eyes locked firmly on your lap as the graying woman watched you with a disappointed frown.

"Y/N, this is not acceptable," She said, tight-lipped with tired eyes.

"I know," You mumbled.

"Then why did you draw these pictures in the first place?" The woman demanded. 

You shrugged haplessly. She wouldn't believe you if you told the truth. She'd probably recommend you to a mental health institution. 

The principal sighed. "Y/N, it's not my business what you do in your free time, but this has to stop. You need to stop."

"It's not me!" You protested. "Someone stole my sketchbook."

"Well, then you had better find a way to get it back, and once you do I highly recommend you burn it. Otherwise, I will have no choice but to suspend you," She said, folding her hands atop the desk. "The mayor has also been made aware of these sketches and she asked me to warn you that, should another one of these offensive images appear, you can consider her commission canceled."

Your heart stuttered and sank. 

You wanted to scream and cry and tell the world it was all so unfair but all that came out of your mouth was, "Okay."

The principal nodded. "Good afternoon, Miss Y/L/N."

That was your cue to leave. 

You exited her office and shut the door behind you, letting go of a long sigh. Kol was sitting outside, waiting for you. He was always there for you. Upon seeing your distraught expression, the boy got up and wound his arms around you, holding you close. You clung to him, squeezing your eyes shut and grinding your teeth as you buried your face in his chest. 

Kol pressed a feather-light kiss to the crown of your head. “Are you alright?” He asked, just as he always did.

You took a deep breath-

(You were fine. You were always fine.)

-and let out a string of cuss words so foul they’d make a sailor blush.

He hissed in sympathy and hugged you tighter. “I take it that’s a no.”

Kol was a good friend. True, his words sometimes carried a sting to them and some of his touches lingered a little too long to be just friendly. But he was good. The two of you had come a long way since you'd first met him. When he pulled away, he probably should have rested his hands on your waist but Kol grabbed you by your hips instead. His hands were very warm and you found yourself blushing. But if you were being honest, you liked the way he was touching you - the way he had been for a while now.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, hesitantly watching your face though you refused to meet his eyes.

"No," You answered. 

Kol offered you a strained smile and tugged you back into that tight hug. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" He said, gently.

Kol had been such a good friend to you. The least you could do was show him some trust.

"I'd rather show you." 

***

Her hand slid down his arm to his hand which Kol reluctantly lifted off her hip. Then, without another word - because she didn’t talk all that much - she led him off down the hallway. He allowed her to pull him along, amused (and two other things he was trying really hard to ignore.)

There was this funny feeling he got when he looked at that girl sometimes, with her chalk and paint-stained clothes, messy hair, and tired eyes. It was warm and pleasant and it reminded him of how he felt after a really big feed, except not like that at all. He felt satisfied, content… full, but there was nothing sinister about it. Kol found himself unsure how to label that sensation seeing has he’d so rarely felt it and when he had it was fleeting - gone before he could enjoy it. 

This time, however, when it came, that feeling lingered.

And not because he’d killed anyone recently! Kol Mikaelson had not rubbed out a single soul in that miserable little town. (A surprise to all, certainly.) That odd feeling stayed with him day to day, and he tried to ignore how pleasant it was because surly it would disappear any day now… But it never did. Kol knew it had something to do with his little artist but, honestly, that just confused him further. More baffling still was the notion that, over the past few weeks, he hadn’t found himself craving the high that exacting death always afforded him. Sure, he felt a little… hungry (that didn’t seem like the right term) on the weekends, but then he’d see her in the hallways and he felt content again. It wasn’t the sort of satisfaction he took from any of his games either.

That’s what this whole thing had started as - what it was. (Just that he had to remind himself of that fact was unsettling.) It was just a game. He’d played it hundreds of times before with hundreds of girls like her. It was the game where he came into their lives from out of the blue, stripped away every single thing they cared about - robbed them of their friends, their reputation, their comforts, their dreams - and did that all while making them love him for it. Then, once he got them into his bed, he shattered their illusions right before he killed them.

He was so close to winning this one too. Her friends had all abandoned her, half the town was convinced she was schizophrenic, and her dreams were one little sketchbook page away from being crushed. There was just one problem. 

This time, he didn’t want the game to end.

This time, he felt an uncomfortable stabbing sensation in his chest (not unlike the point of a dagger) every time she flinched. Every time she switched off her hearing aids, every time she hugged herself and sighed, every time she pursed her lips on the verge of tears - Kol felt something he hadn’t felt in well over nine hundred years. Guilt. Because he was the one spreading that girl’s naughty little pictures through the halls just so she would want him around. 

Kol simply didn’t understand what made her different. She was human. She wasn’t strong or powerful or even witty. The girl was shy, she hardly said a word to anyone but him, and when some kid shouted abuse in her face she just stood there and took it. She was so plain and boring that Kol often found himself wondering why he hadn’t eaten her yet. 

Sometimes though, she surprised him. 

She surprised him when she shoved her way though the front doors in the middle of the school day. Previously, Kol was convinced that girl had never broken a rule in her life.

She surprised him when she cussed like a sailor and didn’t apologize one bit. Was a girl like that even allowed to say those words? Legally?

But most of all, she surprised him when she tugged him along by the hand in the drizzling rain through the backwoods of Virginia, off the hiking trails, and down into a ravine where she only stopped in front of a looming chain-link fence. That fence had a big, red “No Trespassing” sign attached to it.

She suprised him when she was always fine. That girl accepted his hugs, his touch, his comfort - but she didn’t need it.

Thus, Kol was well and truly floored when his tiny sweet, delicious little artist dropped his hand and scrambled up and over that fence like a monkey scales a tree. He couldn’t believe his eyes. She had absolutely, positively, and without a doubt just broken a law. That couldn’t be right. She was too shy to break the law. This was the same girl that apologized when she broke her bloody pencil.

"You coming or not?" She challenged. And then... Then, she smiled.

The sight of it took Kol's breath away.

That smile. He didn't understand it. Y/N was no witch - he knew that for certain. But somehow there was something magical about that smile.

There were moments - only a handful of them - like the one he was in right then. Those times were so rare but when they occurred, Kol's tiny, sweet, piquant little artist would look back at him, usually over her shoulder, and send him this... this smile. The twist of her lips he'd seen her wear when he'd first met her, the one she passed out to her so-called friends, was a fake he came to realize.

This real one was so much prettier.

Words had so rarely failed him, but there was no language Kol knew that could quite describe just what that smile looked like - what it made him feel or why. That smile of her's was just so real - so deeply heartfelt - that it always made him want to smile back. Her's was never never a silly or obnoxious grin that she gave to him. It was this tiny quirk of her lips that made her eyes sparkle and her cheeks glow a subtle, appetizing pink. Her beauty wasn't like that of the models in those magazines Bekah liked - she wasn't spectacularly eye-catching. That girl's smile didn't light up a room, but it lit a fire in his chest the likes of which he'd never known. It twisted his stomach and Kol felt so hungry every time he got to witness that smile. Except that hunger wasn't the sinister kind he was so familiar with. When she smiled at him, he didn't want to hurt that girl.

He just wanted to pin her against a tree and kiss those beautifully curled lips until the taste of his extraordinary artist was seared into his infallible mind for all eternity.

It wasn't just lust either. It was more than that. Kol didn't want her just because she had a pretty smile. He needed her because that smile only appeared for him - no one else. Kol could make that girl smile and it had nothing to do with his physical appearance. His little artist's smile was reserved just for him simply because he was there to see it. She smiled because he existed and that idea was one he couldn't help but revel in. After all, when was the last time he got something all to himself without having to fight tooth and nail for it?

“Say, love, are we getting close to the bridge?” He wondered. It was the bridge or the falls, but he couldn’t be sure. Y/N didn’t reply. Her lovely, perfect, scrumptious little laugh was all he got in response. After a few more minutes of walking in silence - which he found he liked better than all the other girls he’d ever played with who always felt a need to fill the gap with meaningless prattle - they reached their destination.

So, Kol grinned. That was his real smile too. Only she could bring it out. "Of couse, darling."

He jumped and scaled the fence with the same ease as his quiet companion who took off again as soon as his feet hit the ground. It wasn't long before his enhanced hearing caught the sound of water rushing nearby.

Once free of the tree line, Kol glimpsed the dreary silhouette of Wickery Bridge breaking through the haze of rain and gloom. His little artist glanced back at him with something wild and ferocious gleaming in her eyes. For a moment, he was taken aback by the sight. But that moment was swiftly overtaken by sheer, lucidious excitement. He returned her smile and she bounded off down toward the water. He followed, enraptured and curious as she came to a stop underneath the bridge. 

“Alright, my sweet, I think I’ve let you go on long enough,” He said upon catching up with her, not that doing so was any struggle. “What’s so important that you brought me all the way out here?” 

The girl didn’t say anything. Instead, she began climbing up the mess of rocks and driftwood that had collected on the banks of the river, making her way up to the crevice where the bridge split from the shoreline. As she did, her hand slipped on one of the rocks and she spat out another string of cuss words that would peel the scales off a snake. Normally, Kol would have been impressed; however, he was a little too busy focusing on the minuscule part of him that didn’t want to rip out her throat. 

She’d cut her hand on those rocks and it wasn’t just a little scrape, like the ones he’d grown accustomed to. This was a long, jagged slit across her palm and her all-too-tempting blood was spilling down her arm in beautiful crimson rivers. 

And terrible, awful, horrid reality came crashing back in on him.

For a while there, Kol had almost forgotten the two of them weren’t the same. Somehow he’d felt full enough - full of something, full of her - for long enough that he’d forgotten he wasn’t who and what he was pretending to be. He’d forgotten about what he was doing and why he was there and what he was supposed to be doing with her. He’d forgotten that he was the predator and she was the prey. 

He was there solely to charm her into surrendering her blood and her body. That was it.

THAT. WAS. IT.

Kol hurt people. That was what he did. He screwed up, and he hurt people, and he laughed about it.

So why did the thought of sinking his teeth into that artist’s pretty little neck seem to tear his lungs to shreds? No - not his lungs - that thing between them. That thing he ignored. That thing he didn’t have. Most people call it a heart.

What was that about? Kol was a monster. He hadn’t felt anything in years, aside from rage, hunger, and the occasional apathy. One thousand years of never giving a damn about the value of human life. And now what? His heart suddenly decided to garner affection for one lonely, miserable, pathetic, perfect, baffling, innocent, gorgeous, plush, soft, disillusioned little artist? Now?

Why now? Why her?

(It had been so long. And he’d had no one.)

She was the only one who ever smiled just for him. The only one who ever trusted him enough to let him see how terrified she truly was. She was scared, so scared all the time that something would spring from the shadows that lurked around every corner to snuff out her soul. She should be, he knew. She was right to be scared. Because Kol was right next to her and he was the only person not in her sketchbook. Sure, she’d never had the chance to put him in there but he’d asked her once what he would look like if she were to draw him like she did everyone else, and his tantalizing little artist had told him she didn’t see Kol that way - that he was her friend. She didn’t know it, and he didn’t want her to know it, but she should be scared of him. 

Kol wanted to kill her - needed to kill her. He craved so desperately to ravish that appetizing girl right where they stood. Bloody hell, she should be terrified! 

Yet, he didn’t want to scare her - didn’t mean to. He was just hungry - that was all. No one was around. No one could stop him. She didn’t need to be afraid. He could make her feel good. She might like it. Kol was just hungry - he didn’t want to hurt her. One taste wouldn’t hurt her so bad, would it? She would forgive him. One bite would be enough and then he’d stop. Except he wouldn’t and Kol knew that. He would drain every last drop of scarlet from her body and he knew she would be the most exhilarating high he’d ever get. But he didn’t have to feel bad about it. He could dump her body in the river and he’d never see her again. 

Oh.

That was it.

He’d never see her again.

No. No, he wanted to see her smile again. Wanted to hear her laugh. Wanted to listen to all of her secrets and wanted that girl to let him touch her for real. No. No, no, no, nonononononononononono.

And all this ran through his head before his artist had even finished cussing. 

Y/N waved her hand in the air, displaying her cut. “God hates me!” She called down to him cheerfully. That sunny demeanor that had once annoyed him so now brought him a laugh.

“That’s on you, darling. Perhaps if you were to tell me what it is that you’re trying to achieve, I might be able to assist,” He pointed out, still chuckling to himself. The girl shrugged and reached into the crevice, feeling around for something. “If you get bit by a snake, I’m going to laugh,” Kol mused. She twisted her other hand around and flipped him the bird. After another moment of watching her grope around in a dark hole, his little artist let out an exclamation of success and retrieved her arm which was now attached to a large, black duffle bag. Carefully, she climbed down and tossed the bag on the ground. 

“Ta da!” She grinned at him. It was an odd expression - like her face didn’t quite know how to express her current joy to another being.

Kol raised a brow. “Wow,” He deadpanned. “Color me impressed.” 

Her smile didn’t falter.

“The council just finished renovating this bridge,” She said as though that explained everything.

“And?”

Instead of answering, she simply bent down and unzipped the bag at her feet. Meanwhile, ever the gentleman, Kol forced himself to turn away from admiring the exquisite view of her cleavage this action presented him. He wanted her, yes. Kol delighted in reducing his little artist into a blushing puddle when he touched her. But if he was going to have that girl, he was going to have her everything. Her smile, her heart, her mind, her body, and her respect. Everything. Not just empty lust.

From out of the bag, Y/N drew a pair of gloves, a mask, and two cans of what Kol now recognized to be spray paint. Then, donning the gloves and mask, she marched down to the concrete trusses of Wickery Bridge and got to work. The giant concrete slabs were practically one perfectly untouched canvas for her to exploit.

Suddenly, all those strange behaviors made a whole lot of sense.

“Bloody hell, the girl’s a vandal!” Kol barked a laugh. "I wondered what it was you were so desperate to keep me away from,” He said, shaking his head. “I had my suspicions but this… was not one of them.”

“Oh really,” His artist scoffed. She started out her mural with layers of red. “And what were those suspicions?”

“Abusive parents was number one,” He listed, stretching out casually on the ground, back against a rock. Not the most uncomfortable position he’d ever held. “Self-harm was number two, and number three was a sordid drug habit.”

“Do I really come off that pathetic?” She wondered blithely. 

“Most of the time, yeah.”  

The girl snorted. “Good for me!”

“That desperate to hide your little crimes, are you?” He chuckled.

“Yep!”

“Why?”

“Well, mostly-” She paused to switch colors, going with black now. “-because if Mayor Lockwood ever found out I was the one painting her little town red, I’d lose my commission to paint town square and uh… I like money.”

“Understandable.” He nodded. “I sense an “and” coming.”

“And,” She continued with a slight laugh. “I might have possibly tagged a few properties worth a lot more than a bridge.” She hesitated. “Or a town… or a castle.”

That last remark was enough to have Kol sitting up straight. “So you were the miscreant who wrote out “Blood Money” on the side of my house!” He exclaimed, wide-eyed. It was impressive as no one in his family had heard anyone approach the house that night, yet the message had been there in bright red the next morning. How had she pulled that off?

The girl froze in her painting. “That was your house?”

“Indeed it was.”

“Whoops.”

Kol waved a hand. “Eh. No harm done.” 

“So… not a mafia base then?” 

He wished she was wrong. Kol really wished he wasn’t everything that terrified his precious artist. But he was. And that wouldn’t change.

So he laughed.

“Well, if I told you that, I’d have to kill you,” He joked. Except it wasn’t a joke. But he could let her think it was. He could pretend he believed that too. He could pretend he was just a normal kid, enjoying the company of a beautiful girl. He could pretend that.

She threw her head back and laughed. 

What a beautiful thing.

“Okay! I’m done talking now!” She announced without providing any segue whatsoever. He liked that about her though, that she was blunt and direct. It amused him. 

“Well, what am I supposed to do then?” He protested. He wasn’t all that broken up about it. Just being around that girl was enough to sate his hunger for her. That's what his little game had turned into. 

She shrugged and flipped her hearing aids off, so he supposed that was the end of it. 

“You know, I’m actually a vampire,” He told her. Kol knew she couldn’t hear him and his words fell on deaf ears. He figured he should tell her the truth though. Even if it was only this once. At least then he could say he had. 

“I’ve murdered hundreds of thousands of people - plenty of them for no reason at all. As for you…

“Well, I’ll probably kill you one day. Hell, I almost did just now. I’m not all that great at self-control, you see.” He let go of a bitter laugh and scooped a pebble off the ground, laying back he tossed it over his head and caught it again and again. “But I’m really great at screwing things up!”

“I stole your sketchbook,” He admitted, a little quieter. “It was just supposed to be a bit of fun, but it’s not fun anymore. I-I don’t like to see you hurting. I could stop. That bloody school would never see another picture.” 

He lifted his head, watching her back as she continued painting. 

“But would you still love me if I did?” Kol sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t think you would. You don’t need me.”

This time, when he tossed the rock, he didn’t catch it. The stone flew and landed in the river, lost to the moving water.

“Nobody does.”

He was glad she couldn’t hear him. He could talk to her and she would never know. Blissfully ignorant, he could watch with a lazy smile as she swung her hips and just kept on painting, without a care in the world. His horribly lovely artist sang quietly to herself as the light of the setting sun bounded off the water and carded through her hair, casting an ephemeral glow all around her. He wondered if her quiet verse might be meant for him. He knew that wasn’t the case. For someone so observant and suspicious, she could be quite blind. He doubted she could be in love with him or that she understood how he felt for her. But like with the rest of this bittersweet scene, Kol could pretend. 

“Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows

Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together

Brighter than a lucky penny

When you're near the rain goes, disappears, dear

And I feel so fine

Just to know that you are mine…”

***

Robert Frost had been right, you decided the day your world fell apart. You would have preferred your world had been destroyed in one giant, raging fire. Of course, you didn't get to choose. Your world froze over slowly. The cold strangled your opportunities and relationships one by one until you were left entirely alone.

You stood in front of your locker that day, staring at the final nail in the coffin of your reputation and future. This was how it was to end. In ice. You felt like ice as you stared at that final drawing - cold and despondent. 

That sketch was of Alaric Saltzman, your kindhearted history teacher who believed in infinite chances for a student's grades. He always wore a pained smile - it was a smile for everyone else because he was still hurting but wanted the kids he taught to look forward to the rest of their lives as he no longer did.

You had drawn him differently.

No smile. Just the pain. Pain that had morphed into bitterness and bitterness into hate. He was sitting in his desk chair, facing towards the door - toward the viewer - with a bottle of bourbon in one hand, and a gun in the other. Smoke rose from the barrel of that gun, and the viewer's perception was tinted red.

You had drawn your history teacher murdering you in cold blood. 

Who does that?

"So…" The silky lilt of Kol's gentle accent tugged you from your thoughts and brought just a little relief. Even if you had nothing, you had Kol. "Do I want to know what inspired this one? Or would I rather sleep tonight?"

You shrugged, apathetic. The weight of the moment yet to sink in.

"I saw a gun in his desk," You answered tonelessly. 

"No shit?"

"Uh, huh." You nodded. "Right next to the colored pencils."

The boy whistled. "I'm regretting some of the things I put in my essay now," He said. 

A tiny smile tugged at your lips. "As if you did it."

"Ouch, darling. That hurts." He chuckled lightly and you felt his arms encircle your waist from behind. He tugged you close, resting his head on your shoulder. "You don't know everything about me."

He was trying to joke, for your sake. But nothing could make this better.

"What do I do now?" You asked with a sigh. Kol pressed a kiss to your cheek - light as a feather. For whatever reason, it felt like an apology.

"Well, if I were you," He said. "I'd go out with a bang."

You nodded and shrugged - indifferent. "A bang sounds good."

Kol released you as you slipped your backpack off your shoulders. Eyeing you with a mix of confusion and anticipation, your best friend's eyes flew wide as he watched you wander over to the nearest window, arms reeling back. 

With all your might, you flung your back through the window.

It shattered into a million tiny pieces.

The raucous hallway fell silent and a few dozen pairs of eyes locked on you.

"One of you bastards stole my sketchbook," You told them, not bothering to raise your voice in the slightest. "Is that what you wanted? To see me fall apart?"

No one answered of course as you glanced between stunned expressions.

"Well, I hope you're happy now," You rasped. Shoving a few kids out of your way with the harshness that had been building inside you for months now, you left that school behind you and didn't look back.

The only sound to be heard was Kol's low whistle as the heavy steel doors swung shut. The tears streaming down your face were silent.

You sprinted home through the driving rain, the sky dark and close, almost like a blanket. Perhaps the whole world was crying with you. After all, it always seemed to rain when you were sad.

To your relief, your parents were still at work. You had the comfort of crying in peace. Slamming the door shut, you pressed your back against it, slid to the floor… and screamed.

This was your life and it was crumbling in your hands. What else were you supposed to do?

A light knock tapped against the door. So quiet you wouldn't have heard it if the vibrations weren't centered right next to your ear. 

"Y/N?" Kol's voice called from the other side of the wood. You didn't say anything, though your ragged breathing was far from quiet. "Y/N, I know you're in there. I can hear you crying." He laid his hand flat. You could hear that ring he always wore scraping against the wooden surface. "Please let me in?"

You shook your head. "I'm not some charity case," You choked out, throat raw.

"Perhaps to someone else you are," Kol said. He must have been kneeling on your front porch. "But not me. I don't have charity, darling. I'm rather selfish actually."

You huffed a laugh. It was humorless.

"Then why come?"

"Because I'm selfish," He replied. Then quieter. "I don't like to see you cry." His ring tapped against the door a few times. "Darling, please let me in? I want to help."

Your teeth clenched like a vice.

"I don't need you."

For years you'd longed to say those words. Finally, in this haze of fury and anguish, they weren't so hard to speak.

"I know." He sighed. "I know you don't, darling. It's part of why I like you so much."

Well as long as he understood, perhaps it was alright 

You scraped yourself off the floor and opened the door. Kol stood outside, drenched to the bone, same as you. His eyes weren't dead anymore - not the distant black holes they'd once been. No, his eyes were warm chocolate now, melting with something sad. He really did care.

"Come in," You signed, too worn out to speak. 

Kol's brows furrowed. He seemed worried for a moment, though you couldn't guess why. Then he took a tentative step through the door, smiled, and stepped closer, closing the door behind him. 

You watched him take his shoes and coat off through the dim light. Your house was dark. You hadn't bothered with any lights. Once he'd finished, Kol glanced up at you questioningly. You regarded him for a moment. After all, these sorts of situations never seemed to turn out well in the books you'd read and the shows you'd watched. The characters in those stories always seemed to end up doing something they'd regret.

Or maybe they didn't regret it. 

You thought you would though. 

So, contrary to what Kol was likely expecting, you didn't throw yourself into his arms. You just turned and shuffled into the kitchen. You finally switched on some lights. After a moment, he followed you, watching intently. Milling about in science, you collected the supplies required to make the two of you a cup of tea. Your quiet nature combined with your parent's distrust of humanity meant you'd never really had a friend like Kol before - someone you brought to your house and shared food with.

"You hungry?" You asked, waiting for the water to boil. Your hands shook a little, but you didn't feel like speaking. He leaned against the counter opposite you and offered a thin smile you felt you didn't quite understand.

"I'll be okay," He signed back after a moment. He took a deep breath. "I'm more worried about you."

You grimaced involuntarily, eyes shifting to the kettle on the stove. Inside, the pressure would be building until it all rushed out.

"I'm not broken, Kol," You whispered, voice hoarse and thick with more emotion than you'd ever known how to say.

"I know that-" He began, lifting his hands defensively.

"Then why do you look at me like I am?"

Kol's lips pressed into a thin line, nodding. You'd caught onto his ways a long time ago. That boy had been eyeing you like no one you'd ever known since you'd first met him. The only difference was now you were brave enough to call him out on it. So what if he saw you for who you really were? He'd seen enough of it by now. You were sick of hiding anyway.

Kol sighed and pushed off the counter. He made his way toward you with soft eyes and tentative steps until he stood just inches away, boxing you in. You met his dark chocolate eyes and refused to back down even though you knew your cheeks were stained pink. You'd never let anyone this close before.

Pursing his lips, the boy glanced down at the space between you and lifted his hand. He trailed his knuckles hesitantly over your side, then met your eyes again as if to ask permission. You swallowed thickly, but didn't tell him no. With a ghost of a smile, Kol laid his hands on your hips and squeezed firmly. You couldn’t withhold a shudder. His thumbs slipped under your shirt and rubbed your skin softly as he'd done for you a few times before, knowing how much you liked it. His hands seemed to fit perfectly over your hips as though he'd been made to hold you. 

Your eyes fluttered shut and you relaxed into his touch, letting go of a sigh. His searing hands felt nice when the whole world felt so cold. You needed him closer. 

Reaching up, you fisted the collar of his shirt rather harshly and dragged him toward you, pressing your whole body against his. He flinched slightly, surprised by your newfound eagerness, but he quickly reciprocated. Kol chuckled softly and you felt his lips graze your temple before he clinched your hips tighter and lifted you to sit atop the counter. Your heart stuttered and raced in your chest and you gasped sharply, drawing back enough to catch the smirk dancing on his lips. Your cheeks reddened further as he urged you to spread your legs so he could stand between them. His arms circled around your back and you hesitated.

So what if he was a senior? So what if you were a couple of months younger than he was? He'd been a good friend to you. 

Shaking your doubts away, you wrapped your legs around him and rested your head on his chest. Kol hummed quietly and pressed another soft kiss to the crown of your hair.

"I know you're not broken, darling," He said. His hands ran up and down your back, massaging a blazing heat into your bones. "I'm just trying to figure out what it is that you really are."

Your hands on his shirt clenched tighter.

"I'm angry,” You admitted. 

“Why?”

His question prompted your lips to twist into a scowl as a hysterical laugh bubbled past your lips.

“Really? You’re asking me why?” You huffed, shaking your head. “How ‘bout why not? I’m sick of it, Kol. All of it. The lies, the expectations - nothing is right in this town and I hate it! I’m seventeen! I should get to feel safe but I see people and they’re dropping like flies. And you’d think I’d at least get the luxury of being terrified, but no! I have to act like nothing is wrong!” You looked up at him, tears returning to sting your eyes. “I tried to. I really did. But it was too much and I couldn’t and I had to put it all somewhere. Now some idiot who thinks they’re funny just up and ruined my whole future. I’ll never get a job here now, not like it matters because mom and dad are shipping me off to some mental institution-”

“What?!” Kol cut your rambling off suddenly. Reeling back, he stared at you with wide eyes. You just shrugged. “Your parents are sending you away over this?” He demanded.

You raised a brow. “Kol, this is kind of a big thing.”

“How?!” He exclaimed. His grip on your hips tightened. He seemed agitated - more than you would expect. “You drew some creepy pictures. So what?! Who cares?!”

“A lot of people care,” You deadpanned. “I drew the likeness of people around me without their consent. That's a big no-no. My parents are worried I’m overstressed, narcissistic, and paranoid. They say I need help.”

“No, that’s not-” He cut himself off this time, teeth grinding. He wouldn’t look at you, just squeezed his eyes shut tight. You waited for him to gather his thoughts. 

“They can’t take you away from me.” 

Finally, he looked up. Smoldering black eyes met your own with a determination that couldn’t possibly have belonged to an eighteen year old boy. It was etherial - hard to capture and even harder to understand. His eyes seemed darker all of a sudden. An odd trick of the light. 

“That’s a nice sentiment,” You said quietly. “But unless you’ve got some hard-core magic up your sleeve, it’s not gonna change anything.”

Kol nodded stiffly. “Magic, eh?” His voice was dry - strained almost. He let go of you and took a step back, bracing his hands on the counter. The breaths he drew were long and deep - shaking. His eyes flicked back to yours, blazing with something needy. He cursed. 

“Screw it.”

The boy surged forward and his lips caught yours before you could even blink. His arms wound around you again and held you tight and close. One hand wove itself into your hair, tugging on the strands greedily. You couldn’t seem to focus enough to keep your eyes open, they fluttered closed as Kol pressed closer to you. You weren’t sure what to do or how to react, so you just tentatively kissed him back.

Kol flinched. Actually flinched, like he hadn’t expected his affection to be returned.

He pulled away, chest heaving with ragged, uneven breaths. 

Had you done the right thing? Would you regret this tomorrow? Would he?

“Kol, wha-”

His lips on yours shut your doubts up pretty quickly. 

“I’m so sorry about all of this,” That boy whispered into your mouth. “But it’s okay. You don’t have to worry anymore. I’m going to fix everything, darling. I promise.”

He left you no time to think. He just pressed you closer - as close as he possibly could and you felt warm. Warm and safe and wanted. His fervent kisses grew increasingly heated and desperate by the second. It was like you were in a haze, possessed almost. There was a sweetness and hunger to him that you were entirely unaccustomed to. Holding the back of your head with a gentle hand, Kol was tender and patient yet determined as he licked at the seam of your mouth. You gasped, flinching as you felt his arm around your waist constrict almost painfully. Seizing the opportunity, Kol swiftly deepened the kiss with a hum of satisfaction. He wasn’t harsh or forceful about it. You just weren’t sure. A tiny whimper escaped your throat but he just swallowed it eagerly. Did you really want this? Were you ready? 

You felt suffocated, trapped, and unable to breathe. You pulled back, trembling. But Kol wouldn’t let you go. He broke away, shaking his head.

“No, no. Darling, shhhhhh.” He combed your hair back with his fingers. It was comforting. “You’re alright. I’m not doing anything.”

“Kol, please-”

“No, you’re fine. Everything is going to be alright. Just trust me,” He promised. The boy smiled and settled his lips on yours again. You didn’t fight him. All you could seem to do was shudder as he captured your lower lip and bit down. On his shirt, your hands relaxed. It was almost as if he’d drugged you. Something about that was disturbing, yet you clenched your thighs around him nonetheless.

“See?” Kol flashed you a soft grin as he broke away this time, pressing a sweet kiss against the corner of your mouth. “You’re okay, love. This isn’t me hurting you.”

Then what was?

Kol’s hands slid beneath your shirt and they were so warm as he ran them over your waist and higher onto your ribcage. You had half a mind to let him do anything he wanted, but something wasn’t right. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks at terminal velocity. 

On the stovetop, the tea kettle screamed a warning.

Magic was your first clue. That and he’d said he’d fix things. 

What if he already had?

You stilled. All the warmth in his touch faded in an instant and you let go of him. You didn’t cry out or shove him back. You just quit moving.

Kol’s mouth slowed soon enough. He pulled his hands away and stepped back. The boy eyed you for a moment, but you wouldn’t look at him. Then he cursed. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I-I don’t know what happened.” Throwing his head back, he scrubbed a hand over his face and groaned. “I don’t even know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have pushed you. That was a disgusting thing to do. Please forgive me?”

You didn’t. You just drew your knees up to your chest, curling into a ball. The tears came back. Your ribcage shook with your pained breaths. 

“Y/N?” His voice was faint and far away. “Y/N, please look at me?”

You hardly heard the words that left his lips. You were too busy processing his greater sin.

The declaration came out as hardly a whisper. 

“It was you.”

Kol blinked. Then he frowned. 

“Darling… what are you talking about?”

You shook your head. Tears streamed down your face.

“Why?” You seethed. “Why would you do it?!”

He took a step back, seeming hurt. “Sweetheart… I’m sorry but you’re not making any sense.”

You weren’t going to play that game. Wordlessly, you hopped off the counter and strode over to the kitchen doorway. Kol had dropped his backpack there. You tore it open and rummaged around until you found it. A little book covered in black Sharpie. 

“How many high school students do you think know Nordic Runes?” You challenged softly.

“I dunno.” He shrugged. “Probably quite a few. I suspect it’s a relatively common niche interest.”

You hummed. “Let me rephrase then: How many high school students in Mystic Falls do you think are fluent enough in runic languages to correct it when they see a mistranslation?” You whipped around, displaying your oh-so-precious stolen sketchbook in your hands.

The color drained from Kol’s face.

“Darling… I can explain that,” He tried, voice raw - desperate for you to believe him. You wouldn’t. 

You offered him a smile. That same fake, hateful smile you offered to all the people in this town who lied to you. 

“Leave.”

Kol looked as though he’d been shot. 

“Y/N, please. Just let me explain.”

You shook your head. 

“I won’t say it twice,” You spat. Then, switching off your hearing aids, you turned away and started for the stairs. “You know where the door is,” You called over your shoulder, half growling the words. “Don’t let it hit you on the way out… bastard.”

Upstairs in your room, you locked the door and cried. This time you didn’t make a sound.

***

Kol had screwed up. Royally. 

In fact, he was convinced that this was even worse than that time he’d accidentally played god on the continent now known as Australia. (Mammals shouldn’t lay eggs and none would if not for his hubris and an escaped lab rat. Or in this case, a lab platypus.) However, this time, Kol couldn’t just run away. Of course, there was mother dearest’s spell to consider but, that wasn’t the only thing keeping him from leaving that girl and her stupid precious tears behind. For whatever reason, he couldn’t stand what he’d done. He knew this for a fact because he’d had all night to think about it.

Her face, sparkling with fresh tears, was an image burned into his memory. Kol couldn’t seem to forget the tremble in her voice as she’d pulled that bloody sketchbook out of his bag. He could still hear her crying on the other side of her bedroom door. No matter how long he’d begged her to let him in, that door had remained locked. 

This wasn’t how things were meant to go - not when he’d been so close. He couldn’t stand it. 

She’d almost been his. Kol had finally held his sweet little artist in his arms and nothing, nothing - no drug nor blood-induced high he’d ever experienced - could ever compare to finally getting to touch her. He could have had more. He could have won his prize - could have kept her forever.

But he’d screwed up. Now, she loathed him.

He could stand losing a game every now and again. That was what kept things fun. But this wasn’t a game anymore. It hadn’t been for a long time. He couldn’t lose. Kol refused to lose.

Luckily, his delicious little artist was very, very human. 

He would go to her one more time, he resolved, to try to explain things. Truthfully, he knew there was no excuse for what he’d done, but that couldn’t change the facts. Kol needed her. He wouldn’t give her up just because he’d been dumb enough to let her snatch that sketchbook from his satchel. It wasn’t her fault. Had their roles been reversed, he wouldn’t forgive himself either. But luckily, his steel-spined artist was human. Luckily, Kol could erase his little mistake. 

Perhaps he could grab a quick bite from her too before he wiped her memory. A little taste might aid his patience for her - he didn’t fancy slipping up again like he had the night before. If he hurt her without realizing what he was doing, Kol knew he would kill his little artist far too soon.

He’d made his decision. The only thing that gave him pause was the wrinkled sheet of paper Bekah found that morning. 

“Kol?” Her voice rang through their brother’s mansion carrying confusion and worry. “I think you might want to see this…”

He’d been at her side in a split second, snatching the paper from her hands. It was a drawing, and Kol recognized its style of it instantly. Her lines were intimately familiar to him now, even as harsh and erratic as they were in the sketch he held. 

His beloved artist had finally drawn him. 

The twisted image was startlingly and horrifically accurate. Something clenched in his chest at the sight. She’d drawn his countenance pale, his hair was a wild mess and his eyes were black, empty holes. A vicious snarl warped his lips, accompanying razor-sharp fangs that looked all too real. In the picture, he knelt in the driving rain, cradling a limp corpse. His lips were coated in thick, crimson blood. Enamored as he was with his nightmarish likeness, Kol’s eyes were drawn to the most lifeless part of the image. He would have recognized those paint-stained clothes anywhere.

Now, Kol had added little notes to the drawings he’d stolen from his sweet artist’s sketchbook. This time, she had included her own. 

The harsh, hate-filled words read: “Vampire - a creature that feeds off the misery of others.”

At the bottom of the page, his artist had left him one more note.

“I hope you’re satisfied.”

Rebekah, peering over his shoulder now, whistled lowly. 

“That’s not Nik’s work,” She noted.

“No.” His voice came out sharp, clipped. “No, its not.”

“So who’d you piss off this time?”

Kol shrugged and tucked the drawing in his pocket. “No one important,” He lied. 

Shortly after that, he arrived beneath the trusses of Wickery Bridge. He knew where that girl would be - knew his artist couldn’t leave a piece unfinished. If she noticed him coming from a far ways off, she gave no inclination. Kol, however, noticed quite a few things. The tremor in her hands as she moved a can of paint back and forth in front of her. A used sleeping bag laid out among the rocks. A banana peel displaying the only proof she’d eaten any sort of meager breakfast. He noticed. He always noticed. 

His feet crunched on the gravel as he approached but he doubted the girl heard it - more than likely she had her hearing aids powered off. He could see the appeal in it. After all, it got quite loud in his head sometimes. Turning off the sounds of the world might be nice, but such was not his curse. 

Kol wound his arms around her waist from behind and leaned down. Her skin was so smooth and perfect, it was hard to resist simply biting down and taking her all to himself, but instead of piercing her throat he opted to kiss her a few times, gently. He knew how she would react by now. Y/N wouldn’t fight or squirm, she wouldn’t even scream. 

She just relaxed. 

Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. 

A spitfire when angered, she could be quite impressive; however, when confronted she would always resort to that last option.

He could scent her fresh tears as they slipped down her face, while in his arms her body shuddered, though not quite the way he would prefer. Only one word could seem to manifest through her pain. 

"Why?" She didn't say it out loud, just signed it. Kol held her tighter, shrugging.

"Because I'm an attention whore," He answered simply. It was the truth too. "And I don't know when to stop."

He would always need that artist more than she needed him. From the first moment he'd met her, that was how their story had gone.

If it was even possible, that girl melted further into his embrace. Her head rested against his collarbone and she sighed.

"So you think I'm crazy too, huh?" She smiled and it was a miserable thing.

"I never thought you were crazy, love," He admitted, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I just didn't care for a while at first."

"What changed?" She wondered, brows furrowing.

"You smiled at me."

The girl barked a laugh. "Oh, well that's nice." She rolled her eyes.

Kol pulled her closer to him, as though he could make her feel the emotions he couldn't explain. "Don't believe me?"

"Nope." And she never minced words.

"It does sound rather cliche, doesn't it?"

"Ya think?" She scoffed. Her chest still shook with sobs she tried to suppress. He twisted her body around to pull her into a proper hug. Again, she didn't resist. She'd completely given up. 

Kol didn't like this hopeless, hysterical version of the strong, dagger-sharp artist he'd come to adore. He'd seen this sort of apathy before and typically it bored him. In her, it only seemed to hurt. It impressed him to hold her close until she finally understood that he was bloody sorry!

"Can you ever forgive me?" Kol found himself asking. Funny, he couldn't seem to remember another time he'd wondered such a thing. 

Y/N snorted humorlessly. 

"Maybe in a million years," She replied sourly. "Or maybe when the nut-house straightens me out - whichever comes last."

Those words stung like poison. It had been so, so long since he'd made a mistake he couldn't fix with a snap of his fingers. Accountability was a nasty, uncomfortable thing. 

A voice in the back of his mind reminded Kol that he could always compel his pretty little artist. But… he'd rather hoped her affection for him might be real. He didn't want to ruin that just yet.

Kol groaned quietly and tucked his face into the crook of her neck, fixing his lips over that girl's pulse again. The effect was somewhat calming despite making his fangs ache like nothing else. 

"I care about you, darling," He mumbled into her skin. 

"And I trusted you."

He understood. That girl didn't trust anyone. Now he was just another reason why.

A police siren flared to life in the distance, drawing closer. The artist in his arms chuckled dryly.

"Sounds like my ride's here," She observed, void of all life or emotion. The wheels of a police cruiser pulled to a stop not far off. She'd be caught in the act and Kol happened to know the police force had been set on vervain. 

"I won't let them take you," He swore, tightening his grip on his little artist. A car door slammed shut. Footsteps began approaching.

"And what are you gonna-"

Kol picked her up and ran. Consequences be damned. That girl was his. 

He stopped on the pretentious front porch of his brother's mansion and allowed her to absorb her new surroundings. She trembled in his arms, eyes round as saucers as she glanced around.

Her eyes met his and she shook her head, taking a step back. "Kol?" Her voice was thick with dread. "What… just-"

"You're okay," He assured her in lieu of an answer. He spoke calmingly, but she wouldn’t allow him to step any nearer. "You're safe now."

"No." Her voice was bold and firm. She held out a hand, increasing the space between them. “Tha-that wasn’t right. We-we-we were, uh… We were there… a-and now we’re here. What happened? Tell me. Tell me what you did!”

“Relax darling, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” He lied. The boy smiled disarmingly, voice a honeyed guise - it had worked before, back before she’d trusted him. “It’s just me.”

“No… No, y-you’re not-” She bit her lip and retreated further, blinking rapidly. 

He took another step closer, shushing her disoriented protests. “You’re alright, love. It’s. Just. Me.”

“NO!” The girl cried out with a tone forged from steel, but Kol watched as her resolve warped and cracked. He could see it rise to the surface - that all-consuming fear in his delectable little artist that he so relished and despised. “No… Kol, stop. Please.” Her sweet melody of a voice came out as a hoarse whisper now. “Y-you were my friend, and… I-I still want you, I do. But you need to stop. You’re not supposed to be like everyone else. Stop lying.”

Kol sighed heavily. His artist had been betrayed, time and time again. He couldn’t be like the rest of this godforsaken town - not if he wanted her. Yet… If he told her the truth - if he revealed himself to be everything that terrified her so - how would she possibly stand his presence?

“Do you truly wish to know?” He asked, unable to meet her gorgeous, all-too-perceptive eyes.

"I have to,” She whispered, almost to herself. “I’m not crazy. I-I didn't just imagine that!"

“You’re right.” He nodded and offered her a slight, halfhearted smirk. "You see too much for your own good, sweet thing. But please remember, you asked to be shown this part."

Kol thought about her - about his gorgeous, perfect artist. He inhaled deeply, taking in her mouth-watering scent. He focused on her heartbeat - wet and strong - let it lull him. He pictured that adorable, appetizing blush that always spread across her cheeks when he touched her. Kol allowed himself to imagine just how sweet, how lush, how devastatingly succulent that girl would taste just beneath her soft, warm human skin.

Then, welcoming that corrupt temptation, surrendering to it, he opened his eyes. 

His little artist screamed.

Tagging: @yn-ymn-yln @r13mar @rootbeerfaygo @iiskittles16ii @fandomrulesall-blog @dark-night-sky-99 @railingsofsorrow @apolloroid @thatweirdoleigh @misswe03 @eat-cake @felinegrate @cute-freak27 @fayeatheart @archangelslollipop @aonungs-tsahik @sleepneverheardofher @heartbreakgrill @whatsupb18 @enchantedlandcoffee @trikigirl271 @dreamingwithrafe @her-violent-delights @witchcraftandgeekness @dreamingwithrafe @acixsracix Comment or DM me if you want to be added to my tag list!

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[shootingstarrfish]

Hi I wanted to ask one of my fav obey me artists this question: Least favorite to favorite characters? If you wanna say why, that'd be cool. If anything! Please have a nice day!

hii there!!! dearest anon stop being so nice you're going to make me cry AHSHDHD thank you,,, <33333

but what a fun question! for anyone who doesn't want to read my stupid long explanation for each character i will leave this tierlist here! all tiers (except the first tier) are organised by most to least liked within the tier from left to right

no i dont hate lucifer, it's just facebook relationship status (aka complicated <3)

i have plenty of opinions though so i'll go ahead and give some explanations too!! >:D under the cut because there's a lot of rambling here LOL

some of the list is a bit boring because i cant really say i hate or even dislike any characters, and i don't wanna be mean about any characters just cause they're not necessarily my favourites so!

that being said lucifer pisses me off to a comical degree and he absolutely doesn't belong at the bottom but my feelings about him are so ridiculously complicated i don't know where else he belongs? i wish so badly that i could hate him in an uncomplicated way and move on but as an eldest sibling he's such a personal attack on me and i hate it. he's me, i'm him it's horrible. every time i start to think "ahh he's not that bad" he opens his mouth and makes me regret thinking that. i still think about the time i chose to kiss him on the ferris wheel and he held his hand out after and i took it and he said it reminded him of his dead sister, i will never stop holding it against him. he deserves to be loved and taken care of and he also should be thrown off a cliff. im quite certain if i had to assign myself a sin i would pick pride and i hate it >:( (this is all very lighthearted lol)

diavolo used to viscerally annoy me for no good reason when i first started the game, but over time he's grown on me and i'd say now i'm neutral-positive on him!! no idea why i hated him, i was just very salty for no reason hahaha i've recently come to appreciate his character a lot more, im very :( about how lonely he must be and i want him to have more genuine friends please solmare

i think mephisto really is just the kind of character i need to see more of to like, he's very interesting to read character analyses of (and kinda relatable tbh?) but i just need more in game is all! i love his silly lil poses those are real fun, and he is pretty

levi is another i also used to hate out of nowhere? i was neutral on him initially and then i suddenly hated him with a burning passion until one of my friends told me she really loved him and im physically incapable of hating a character my friends love so we're chill again HAHA slowly beginning to like him though! what a pathetic sopping wet cat of a man, it's GREAT

OUUGHH i so badly wanna be able to love beel more, it hurts me to have to put him here but unfortunately this is the way it is... i think it's more accurate to say i love the idea of beel? and ive noticed i really like him everywhere that isnt the game, which again is unfortunate :,)))

LUKE IS MY SON he is babyyyyyyy that's all i have to say <333 my precious lil sonboy he deserves the whole entire world

everyone loves mammon, and i am no exception :D he's not necessarily my type hence why he's neatly placed right in the middle but ugh i love a guy who tries and fails miserably to act tough but is super sweet inside, what a guy <3 ok i flip flopped between putting satan and simeon in the love tier because i am so very fond of both of them, but that's too many characters up there so imagine they're both in a weird tier purgatory between the 2 LOL

i am in fact going to marry simeon and then we will raise luke together it's a fact simeon is everything he's pretty and beautiful and a very complex and interesting character ahhh

SATAN MY LOVE he's a very interesting case to me in that i feel on paper he should be the kind of character who would be on the top of the list! he's smart and kind and unhinged and would kill for you and he likes cats!!! truly husband material i adore him

im going to marry thirteen, thanks for listening to my ted talk <3 my darling beautiful wife who would laugh hysterically if i fell down the stairs i love u thirteen <3333333 we will be wed tomorrow and we will live the dream in her silly lil cave of pranks and curses

i dont know what it is about raphael but i adore him??? is it the wet kitten swag? the done with life expression? his ridiculous outfit? i couldnt tell you but i saw him for the first time and i was immediately obsessed everything i learn about him just makes me more obsessed, i love the fact that he enjoys solomons cooking, the way he's good at sewing and is kind but kinda scary, what a fun character

i could talk endlessly about solomon oh how i love this silly househusband wizard guy i was pretty neutral on him in the og game, and then he swiftly stole my heart in nightbringer and now i would eat his terrible cooking any day of the week just to see him smile <3 if i die seeing him happy that's probably the best way to go out all his calls and messages are sooo cute and they make me melt im in love please just one chance...

barbatos and solomon are typically equal on the list i'd say? but the barbatos brainrot is hitting harder now so he gets to be ever so slightly higher this once hahaha barbs is another that took a while to grow on me, not that i ever disliked him or anything but i definitely overlooked him at first! design wise i absolutely LOVE him, his demon form is definitely one of my absolute favourites. the unique but still put together suit?? the ruffles?? the bone wing horns?? ugh he's just very pretty, and SO interesting as well love a calm collected guy who totally has the potential to destroy you if he so wishes but has a soft spot for you

and of course, real shocker im sure, at the tippy top of the list would be asmo and belphie my beloveds <333 i love them both equally and i could never put one above the other i actually started playing obey me for belphie because one of my favourite character tropes is The Tired One TM, and im absolutely not immune to a cute emo boy either. i've grown to really love his sass and the way he hides his manipulative nature behind his sweet and innocent appearance hehe i also do love how ridiculously forward and blunt he is at times, what a silly guy while belphie was very predictable, asmo was a very out of nowhere character for me! i distinctly remember seeing him initially and thinking "avatar of lust?? i guess he's pretty but he'll probably just be the fuckboy character who makes nonstop innuendos and has no character beyond that, and i'm too asexual for this" so i avoided him a lot at first, but i'm very weak for how kind and gentle and charismatic he is, and the way he puts his all into everything and everyone <333 it didnt take long for me to realise that he's almost exactly the kind of person i aspire to be more like

also miura ayme gives me so much gender envy its not fair send tweet

#if u read all this.... thank u sdfhjhd i am high fiving u right now <333 #AND THANK U FOR ASKING ANON this was fun to consider #i like overthinking categories and lists so this was delightful for me #ask box #obey me

[izzyhandsrightglove]

The Izzy Hands Is Autistic PowerPoint Essay

(this is the essay i submitted to the above all else zine (@izzyhandszines ), the exclusivity period of which just ended. enjoy!!)

Hello!!

I would like to start off by saying I’m absolutely fucking terrified to write this essay for a variety of reasons. But I want to express my love of Izzy Hands and how important he is to me, and the best way I’ve found to do so is to express the weird ways I relate to him as an autistic person. I’ve joked in a couple friend circles that I was going to make a PowerPoint presentation about why Izzy’s autistic (hence the title) but I decided to write an essay instead.

Disclaimer: I’m not diagnosing anyone, nor do I want this essay to be used as a diagnostic paper. This is by no means an academic paper, it cites exactly one (1) study, it’s based on my own experiences, light research, and the experiences of my fellow autistic friends. I’m just a dumbass who likes imprinting themselves onto the characters they hyperfixate on.

Reason one why I think Izzy is autistic: because I’m autistic and I said so. *cue end credits*

I’m kidding.

The real first reason comes from Izzy’s interactions with Stede FUKIN’ Bonnet. For one, Stede hates Izzy almost the second he meets him. Now, you could argue that it was because Izzy “stole” his hostages but we’ll set that aside for a sec. It’s been proven that people inherently don’t like autistic people if they don’t realize they’re autistic (Neurotypical Peers are Less Willing to Interact with Those with Autism Based on Thin Slice Judgements by Noah J. Sasson (2017)). Traits that are often put towards “untrustworthy” or “creepy” people tend to describe autistics too. It’s entirely possible Stede caught a vibe and hated Izzy because of it. Stede is kind of an asshole after all (and we still love him for it). Another reason is Stede’s entire existence throws a wrench in Izzy’s routines as a First Mate. He whisks Edward away to do pirate-y things while Izzy is left to deal with a crew who frankly want nothing to do with him because he’s introducing structure on a ship that didn’t have any to begin with. Sure Izzy came off as an asshole (emotional regulation is a bitch) but he’s just a lil guy trying to follow his routines so nobody dies. He has the worst case of sense of justice. He’ll complain that an ambush is “unprofessional”, he’ll play fair in a duel even if it’s to his detriment, he’ll chase Edward around asking for a plan because Bad Things happen without a plan, the list goes on.

I’d like to dedicate this section to his stimming/eye contact/other little habits that make me think he’s autistic. Izzy has a tendency to touch his face when he’s stressed. Not just that, he’ll wrap an arm around himself and rest his hand on his chin so he can fidget with his beard, as if to self soothe. When he’s talking to people, unless he’s threatening them or yelling at them, he doesn’t look them in the eye. Often he’s not even facing them. When he is facing them, he often looks down at their lips, as if he’s struggling with eye contact. He walks around with his hand resting on his sword either because he’s short and the sword will touch the ground if he doesn’t or because it’s more comfortable for him to have his arm up near his chest. This is often referred to as T-rex arms and a lot of us find it more comfortable than letting our arms rest at our sides. He’s a little pyromaniac, he seems to use candle fire to soothe himself. He’s done it at least twice, once while he was lying to Edward about Stede’s response to meeting Blackbeard and once while talking to Spanish Jackie about Stede in her bar. He sleeps in his underwear like a WHORE (affectionate) which could be argued is temperature regulation because a lot of autistics (myself included) H A T E being overheated. Then there’s the ooh daddy scene. From my little list I made prior to this essay, “ooh daddy scene (thank u conbert), yes i have an explainiation for this. a weird ass intimidation tactic? sure. however what if he can’t read social queues and doesn’t fully realize how fucking weird it was to do that”.

Then there’s his glove. I could dedicate an entire essay on speculation on that fucking glove. Is it hiding something? Is it just to look cool? Is it a sensory thing where he doesn’t like the texture of his sword so he wears the glove to make sword fighting easier? We may never know. Or we might in s2 who knows. Speaking of sword fighting it could be argued by me that because Izzy is supposed to be the best swordsman in the world, sword fighting could be his special interest. He probably spent hours perfecting every move until he got to the level of carving his name into a man’s shirt without leaving a single scratch on him.

We’ve seen Izzy have at least one meltdown re: the duel. He’s losing the duel, the crew are jeering at him, Stede isn’t helping, he finally screams at him before his sword breaks. We’ve also seen him have a shutdown where after Edward goes below deck after realizing his plan against the Spanish isn’t going to work because it’s a leap year, Izzy is in the foreground of Frenchie and Lucius staring off into space. It’s possible that after everything he went through that day and the realization that he’s going to die made him completely shut down.

I have no proof of this since we never really see izzy by himself but I don’t believe in the entire time Izzy has been subjected to the constant torture of being alive and autistic in the late 1600 early 1700s he has unmasked even once. When living in such close quarters with other people and being First Mate to the physical embodiment of ADHD he probably doesn’t get a lot of time to himself. Therefore he has to cope with his existence in other ways, as mentioned above. And the crew of The Revenge have ruined almost every way he uses to cope and manage his autism. We’ll have to wait and see what other horrors unfold for this poor little autistic man, but for now all we can do is pick him apart and see what’s under the hood.

#above all else zine #izzy hands

[roobylavender]

Omg I'm glad I found a fellow new teen titans hater (or at least critic) because while I think Wolfman had some really neat ideas it really amazes me how so much of what he's written for Dick is like the polar opposite of his character for 40 years and how people ignore that simply because they don't read golden/silver age batman... like I hate reboot Nightwing as much as anyone but it's crazy to me how people think he's always been the most anal about his moral code as if it didn't take years for him to develop it after watching Bruce (like in canon: https://64.media.tumblr.com/f20ae729d626788129a371dab7f790db/5b84ba907a5dc5f9-ac/s1280x1920/e0e719108502d4fa51364eb748450141fd1bcedd.png), or how he'd give up college/a day life to be Robin when in canon he was the one all gung-ho about going to college while Bruce hoped for him to stay home (and ironically enough Bruce quit Wayne Industries himself so he could focus full-time on being Batman lmao: https://64.media.tumblr.com/48945b33fa70a2bfbded0fe6c83017d0/68e853c82fce0d82-5a/s1280x1920/32e3b3ab44fa7364ca82eb63bb8c6d5bbbbb7132.png), or even that Dick wouldn't have the patience to mentor children or something when the literal purpose of creating Robin was to be a role model for children to relate to and sef-insert themselves as his friend, hence why he always excelled in school and sports and stuff...like Bill Finger even created this concept of "Robin's Regulars" to show that Dick liked kids and inspired them (https://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wpPLG-yJpJw/S5v2_3KXjdI/AAAAAAAADnM/1aOMBWuCmT0/s400/robinsregulars.jpg)... the good part is that NTT took place when Dick was just 18-19, I can easily pass it off as his angsty phase that he grew out of in the same way Peter's Ditko era is passed off as his edgy college kid phase in-universe that he outgrew thanks to his friends lmao

admittedly i think trying to ascertain any kind of moral code from bruce or dick in the golden age is a bit of a directionless endeavor bc the writers switched things up soooo often depending on whether they want to pander to morality or comedic value 😭 like there's a golden age issue where bruce quite literally lets= someone die in an electric whirlpool of some kind omds it was hysterical. but yeah interestingly with wolfman i like a lot of the things he did with dick as a character if i view them as developments resulting not only from his personal foray into adulthood but also from the distance that started to grow between him and bruce. it was completely logical for dick to reassess a lot of the things he wanted back when he thought it was going to be him and bruce forever versus at present when bruce clearly no longer wanted to sanction him being robin and dick took that to mean he wasn't good enough (even though bruce was merely being protective and trying to respect dick's own ability to choose his own path in life). the problem with wolfman is that rather than portray it as a series of newfound assessments made in context of newfound developments in dick's life, he wrote these assessments as if they had been lodged in dick's mind since the day he was taken in. which to me at least seems to diminish the significance of dick's development into a more agitated, hyper-emotional control freak. it's not supposed to be something that's always been there. it's more latent. dick's belief in himself with respect to his relationship with bruce sort of hung by a thread for the entirety of their tenure together. that's what happens when you let a nine-year-old become a vigilante and spend nearly nine years together thereafter fighting crime with him as your exclusive partner. it builds expectations, hopes, dreams. for his entire life dick was building up to this.. fantasy almost. and when he went to college it still wasn't so bad because even if there was a desire to be independent he still felt like he had bruce's support. the fantasy remained intact. it was only when dick started to realize that being in college hindered what he really wanted to do with his life, and then bruce opposed him on it, and then they proceeded to disagree on a number of other things—as respectfully as they could admittedly. that was the nice thing about the early 80s. they actually talked in the truest sense of the word—and then bruce finally cut the cord (so to speak) on robin existing as a required extension of batman, that the floodgates really opened. every latent positive emotion that dick had ever felt in his life because of what he believed bruce had given him unconditionally was suddenly up for dissection. and that's how you proceeded to get the neurotic ticking time bomb we know and love so well today. or at least that's how i like to conceptualize it in my head

#outbox #dick age eighteen: i'm coming out.. as depressed #also love the panel about bruce quitting his management position at wayne industries bc you know he's lying to himself lmaoo #he doesn't love the management work obv. but we know full well he only sacrifices things for himself in the civilian world #bc he feels like he isn't doing enough in the vigilante world. he likes being bruce wayne. but he can't Justify being bruce wayne #and that subsequently makes it a lot easier (well. that's debatable) for him to be a helicopter parent with respect to everyone else #he's fully entitled to rob himself of his little civilian joys. but it'll upset him if anyone else does the same for themselves

[dicktat]

For Dying Light 2 ask

If u can change one the aspect of the story, what would it be?

Ty :3

Sorry this is talking forever but I really wanted to write a personal take on this. So below is my essay of an opinion and why I think Aiden should’ve been Waltz’s biological son

To start off, I think “Mia isn’t even his sister” is a god awful twits on Aiden’s behalf. Imagine spending the entire story finding some family member of yours and she’s not even related to you. I get the concept of found it adopted family but this is…how do it even put it, anticlimactic. It’s a twist but it was at the expense of logic and satisfaction and hence in my humble opinion a very bad decision. Twists made for only shock factors are usually considered bad and frankly this is a case of just that. Some twists should have buildups and foreshadowing and while I acknowledge that “Aiden has memory issues” is somewhat hinting towards him being an unreliable source of info, it was not made explicitly clear that, he would’ve misremembered something this crucial…while family is such an important factor to his character. His entire arc and personality was built on him finding his sister. And Hakon even asked what his plan was after finding his so called sister while Aiden outwardly admitted, he doesn’t know. His goal in life had very little foresight and his sole purpose is no more than just that. I understand Mia was no more than a macguffing and severs little to no purpose as a character, it’s still incredibly dismissive of a player’s effort as they worked towards a goal that perishes within five minutes of meeting.

I think it’s no less than obvious that I hated this ending, but this also ties into my next point of god damn it, a cliche twist doesn’t mean it’s a bad twist. I get the “I’m your father” shit had been done to death, yet when it’s effective, it really is. Imagine the shock we could’ve gotten, this paired with Aiden’s discovery of holy shit the mad scientist isn’t even a bad person would double the dramatic factor.

Also this completely deprived me of a universe where Aiden was raised by Waltz. We could’ve gotten a fucking Dr. Caldwell doing mad science shit but no Techland was a coward for this.

This is something that’s been on my thoughts for a good fucking while and I just can’t shake the idea of a mad scientist Aiden equally as brutal as Waltz but with a little sense of playfulness and sadistic tendencies. Meanwhile I feel so isolated with my evil Aiden ideas besides the few cool people actively supporting it.

And can we talk about how much, Waltz’s facial structure is similar to Aiden’s.

(Image taken from Techland’s website lol)

I’m not sure how to explain it but the bone structure, the nose and lips just…well you know? And I can actually see them being semi related. This is only a small part of fake evidences that supports my argument but nevertheless fun. I know it’s not completely valid but it’s not a bad opinion right.

Also off topic but look at this Waltz art he’s just so

I think Mia and Aiden would make for a fucking cute family and wether Aiden gets poisoned by Waltz and becomes completely evil is up for debate. Either way I think it’s just a concept that could be executed better. And in my personal opinion makes for a good twist. Sorry for the rant, but I just have so much to say around this topic. I think if this was implemented by the fandom it could make things a bit more fun and we have a new variety of au to play with. This is just a theory, a game theory. But if you find even a little entertainment in reading this, we’ll I’m satisfied.

Thank you so much for asking!

#cracken whispers #as you can tell I’m extremely passionate about this #raaaaaah scientist Aiden

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

I think it's really rich how the Loki series showrunners like to talk about Loki's problems and emotions as if he were some moody, hormonal teenager, while currently in the show Sylvie is acting like some sullen, edgy, emo bitch-brat, hating everything and everyone, sticking safety pins in her armor and working at frickin' McDonalds. And this is supposed to be seen as cooler than Loki because her "trauma was worse and her scars are deeper", yadda yadda yadda. Like??? Do they not see their own double standard??? Do they not smell their own bullshit???

I know you aren't watching the show, and the Loki series is your least favorite subject right now, it is mine too, but every time I see something related to it I just. Want to put my fist through a wall. Everything these people have said about Loki is so wrong it's like my brain can't comprehend it. Anyway thank you for being so incredibly patient with all the Loki-related anons, including mine!

And on the subject of Sylvie's armor, I can't stand seeing her wear that design. If she is so special, being "her own person" and all, then she really should stop co-opting Loki's costume and find something else. Something that's just as, um...."original" as she is. 😒

Hey, I love the anons so keep 'em coming! (I know I'm super slow with them though, so sorry about that)

I couldn't agree more about the double standard. It genuinely baffles me that they're so uninterested in one of the most complex characters the MCU has ever had. They clearly understand he's like a magnet for the fanbase, hence all the promo centring him, but they seem so keen to grab that complexity and turn it to shreds in order to make him more palatable, and it's like... he already has a lot of fans kissing his ass. You want more? Don't change him, just make a good series! Get the same freaking character acting the same way he's always been, put him in situations and we'll watch the damn thing even if it's not that good just to see him. What's not clicking?! 🤦‍♀️

It doesn't make sense to me. Disney+ needed the Marvel series to be profitable, and they want a bigger audience and more money. Okay, cool. But why, why do the execs think the only way to get people interested is by nerfing the characters and making them simpler? It's such a classist belief that ""people"" will only understand something if it's on its most superficial state.

It reminds me of this idiot minister in the UK who said he was worried people wouldn't be able to understand The Crown is fiction and not a documentary on the actual events in real life. At the time so many news headlines read "The citizens are so stupid, they think TV series are an accurate depiction of reality!" instead of "This minister is so stupid he thinks everyone is as dumb as him".

Sorry about that, I needed to rant too lol I don't know what Sylvie is wearing now but I suppose she will be wearing the Loki armour still. It is funny, she's not a Loki but she has to wear the suit otherwise no one would remember she's supposed to be a Loki since she doesn't act like one at all. See how Loki is wearing stupid TVA clothes and we all know who he is? But she has to wear the Loki suit.

[garlculean]

CHARACTER INFO SHEET

NAME.  Wario Scapelli

NAME MEANING.  The name "Wario" is a portmanteau of "Mario"⸺ and the Japanese adjective "warui" meaning "bad"; hence, a "bad Mario", which is also symbolized by the "W" on his hat, an upside down "M".

ALIAS(ES).  As of right now N/A, may change with more RP interactions

SPECIES. Half-Troll // Half-Human ETHNICITY. Primarily Italian, Sicilian, and about 16% German. Italian and Sicilian comes from his mother's side while his father is almost fully Italian but has a little bit of a German bloodline.

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔’𝐕𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄.  I. In certain mythologies trolls are known for their shapeshifting abilities. Due to this, and seeing how in the Warioland series Wario is shown to be able to have some sort of shapeshifting qualities, I've always headcanoned him from a very early age as being a troll, or PART troll. I also feel that he looks the part and his need and love for gold could very well be a nudge towards how trolls also have a uncontrollable obsession over treasure//gold.

II. Because Wario is only a half-bred and not a pure-bred troll, he cannot shapeshift on command and it is very limited. He also must have contact; i.e touch, be touched, or get physically hurt from an enemy//thing in order to change his own form. He cannot though appear 100% human and will always have pointed ears and a bulbous nose.

III. Lastly, I always loved in the classical games when Wario was SIGNIFICANTLY bigger and taller than Mario AND Luigi, to the point where they are practically half his height. But I wanted to keep some aspect to how now he's a lot shorter I suppose than he used to be in the modern media. For that, I see that in human standards Wario is seen as really immense and big⸺ BUT for troll standards' for how big trolls typically are, Wario is seen to them as on the shorter side. ( also why to me explains how Waluigi is canonly above 7'0". I feel he is a troll too and its why Wario and him aren't related but still share some visual traits. )

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄. I. WRESTLING. Not only does Wario love to participate in wrestling, but he also loves watching it on TV. One of his many dreams is to be able to catch front row seats and watch his favorite wrestler(s), Big Bamba and Undertaker, in a fight.

II. DIGGIN' FOR GOLD. Yes, in both aspects WHWUWHAHAAH!!! Everyone knows Wario's forte for searching for gold ⸺ Some of this includes him actively venturing out into mines to see if there is anything left behind to even metal detecting on beaches to see if he can find any valuable goods that way.

III. SNACKING. Wario tends to eat out of boredom to simply craving something and going out his way to get what he desires. Sometimes he will eat even when he's not particularly hungry. Putting this to the side, even when he isn't snacking and just having a. ordinary meal⸺ Wario naturally eats far more than your typical average person does // is supposed to.

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒/𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒.  I. He, himself and his MONEY. 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒. I. Not being able to fully say his goodbyes to Princess Shokora

II. Not sucker punching toad in the throat when he had the chance to... No further comment.

𝐀 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐒. I. DOCTORS. Wario doesn't fear most of anything. Typically, he is shown and known to be one of the most fearless characters in the entire mario-game series. Despite this, the one thing Wario truly hates facing are going to the hospitals. Due to this, he tends to neglect his appointments there and has successfully not gone to a single doctor's visit in over a decade.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘. @koopzilla thanks for the tag ! 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆. YOU! ... Yes you right there! You have been tagged by me to do this!

#｡*ﾟ+.*｡🧄— $𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄;; #｡*ﾟ+.*｡🧄— $𝐀𝐁𝐓;; #｡*ﾟ+.*｡🧄— $𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃;; #｡*ﾟ+.*｡🧄— $𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍;;

[ecargmura]

My Happy Marriage Episode 2 Review: Supernatural World Building

First off, I want to correct myself on something. Last episode, I said that the anime took place in Taisho Era? Someone on Tumblr corrected me, saying that the anime actually takes place in Meiji era. Thank you to the person who corrected me.

Anyways, this episode is about Miyo adjusting to her life in the Kudou manor. She makes breakfast for her fiancé, but he refuses to eat, suspecting it to be poisoned. Fortunately, he regrets his actions and tries her breakfast the next day; he really enjoys her miso soup, to her surprise.

We learn more about Kiyoka and Miyo throughout this episode. Miyo is someone who lived such a harsh life. Her family is a prominent family with supernatural abilities, but she did not receive any, hence her mistreatment towards her biological father and her stepmother. As a child, she was a bit straightforward as she was looking for mementos of her mother that had gone missing; she had suspected her stepmother and it caused her to be locked in a storage room. Damn, I hate Miyo’s family so much. I think what the most heart wrenching moment was the fact that Kaya was able to see Grotesqueries and her biological father starts doting on her than his first daughter. I just want to punch all three of them.

The abuse has caused her to be so withdrawn that she had to apologize to protect herself. I can actually relate to the apologizing; I once had a bad habit of apologizing a lot when I was a teenager because I had hurt my friends who in turn decided to isolate me. Because I didn’t want to feel hurt again, most of my teenage years was spent me apologizing out of habit. Kiyoka even said that apologizing loses its meaning if constantly said, which is super understandable; I apologized so much that I was wondering if my apologies were actually genuine once I reached my early twenties. Fortunately, I am no longer apologetic now. It was a bad habit to break out of.

Kiyoka seemed like a jerk at first, but it was understandable why he was doubtful. He explained to Yurie that his past fiancees only wanted wealth and status from him, which is a turn off for him. It also seems that he’s the commander of an Anti-Grotesquerie unit. I guess this explains the premise of the show—fighting grotesqueries? Kiyoka has supernatural abilities which he can use easily; it even has convenient usage like heating up a bath. I’m glad that Kiyoka knows that his words had hurt Miyo, so he made it up to her by eating her breakfast. It seems that he is quite interested in her background as she doesn’t look like a daughter from a prominent family.

Yurie is very sweet. She has known Kiyoka the longest so she knows what sort of person he is. She even tells Miyo that he is actually a kind person underneath his ice. Since Miyo didn’t run off, it makes me wonder how many fiancees didn’t listen to Yurie’s words and just ran off.

Meanwhile, at the Saimori house, Miyo’s old room is being used as a storage room. Kouji is determined to protect Miyo however he can. However, it also seems as if the Tatsuishi family was wanting Miyo to marry Kouji and not Kaya as she has Usuba blood or something. It seems that Miyo’s a lot more special than she seems…

I want to talk about the voice acting. It’s amazing. Reina Ueda is known for her soft tone, but to make Miyo a bit older, she makes her voice a bit deeper, but still has her signature soft voice perfect for a soft-spoken person like Miyo. I can hear Ueda also sounding lifeless which also fits Miyo. Kaito Ishikawa is nailing it as Kiyoka. I’ve never heard him use such a calm voice and I think he should get more roles like this in the future! It’s so nice to listen too!

I’m honestly enjoying this anime. I can’t wait to see more now that we have a bit more world-building withe the insertion of Grotesqueries, supernatural abilities and so forth. I can’t wait to see what it is that makes Miyo so special. Most of all, I want to see Kiyoka warm up to Miyo and for Miyo to open up to him. I can see potential!

#my happy marriage #Miyo saimori #Kiyoka kudou #koji tatsuishi #yurie #review #anime #anime review #ecargmura #arum journal

[matbaynton]

tagged by @baynton thank you!! 💙

8 shows to get to know me better

1. BBC GHOSTS

copying nat here to say that this is also where the mat obsession started 😈 my friend hallie (who i will also be tagging to do this obviously) got me into it and i cannot thank them enough for giving me the brainrot! i've watched this show.... idk how many times now i'm constantly rewatching it but i still laugh (and/or cry) every time. don't think i needed to know how absolutely FERAL and UNHINGED and RABID i was capable of being, i swear i was normal before i saw thomas thorne. i WAS, and no one can disprove that so just believe me 🤡 he is my sopping wet babygirl pathetic chewtoy and i love him.... so much..... and i want to d*e on the button house property and become a ghost more than anything in the whole world. anyway this show is fantastic and it changed my life and there isn't a single bad main character!

2. STRANGER THINGS

not sure if it's because i watched this show the year it came out (and on the night before/night of my 18th birthday, so it ended up being the best birthday i've had in years which is. still true lmao) but it continues to hold such a special place in my heart, and i can't truly explain why. gonna be honest seeing that winona ryder was in it immediately made me want to watch (and i love joyce byers + jopper a normal amount) i'm also really into horror and gross shit and this show really delivers on that sometimes, it's fantastic 🫡

3. THE OWL HOUSE

i don't think i can talk about this show for too long without crying lmao, but for a silly starter: THERE IS SO MUCH GOD DAMN FUCKING PURPLE IN THIS SHOW IT IS VERY PLEASING TO MY EYEBALLS!!!!! i'm a huge blubbering baby when it comes to the found family trope and this show has that! not to mention the incredible lgbt+ rep that truly shocked me to my core. i've also never related to a fictional character more than luz noceda, it's almost unsettling. still haven't watched the finale because i'm in denial about it being over and fuck disney channel for cancelling it.

4. DOCTOR WHO

besides glee and pretty little liars (that i'm surprisingly not putting on this list for reasons) this was one of the first real tv shows i've gotten into. my friend and i stumbled upon it on netflix (back in the ancient times of the early 2010's) she wasn't into it AT ALL but when i went home i immediately started watching the rest of it. i love all of the doctors/companions/eras in so many different ways, and every time i rewatch this show it feels like home <3

5. YONDERLAND

99% of the characters in this show are complete dumbasses and i'm truly here for it,. also seeing mat as so many different freaky sexy characters fixed me made me worse. HOWEVER.... the felt puppets still strike fear into my heart, i've gotten somewhat used to it but i still want to scream and poop my pants whenever i see them.

6. COMMUNITY

as we've established i'm a fan of the found family trope (even the FUCKED UP PROBABLY MENTALLY BAD FOR EACH OTHER kind of found family) besides how funny this show is (and how much i love troy and abed AND WANT WHAT THEY HAVE MORE THAN ANYTHING) it was also the first time i interpreted autism portrayed in a somewhat better way than i had ever seen before on television (of course abed being autistic isn't technically canon, hence "interpreted") but i really appreciated it and the fact that he IS canonically the most mentally stable in the group is incredible and i love it. will NEVER forgive them for making a felt puppet episode though, it haunts my nightmares.

7. SANTA CLARITA DIET

drew barrymore plays a zombie milf and timothy olyphant plays her hot husband who helps her kill shitty people to eat. wtf else do i need to say? it's a masterpiece and i wake up every day hating netflix for cancelling it

8. TOO MANY SPIRITS

YEAH THIS IS A SHOW! I'M COUNTING IT AS A SHOW! i knew i was going to put at least one watcher show on this list because i love these idiots so dearly. i chose too many spirits because the amount of times i've almost (😐) pissed myself from laughter watching these morons get drunk and tell stupid stories is TOO MANY..... spirits! like the name of the show! too many! too many times 🤡 anyway

tagging (no pressure to do it!) @larryrickard @reysorigins @softdavidrose @karura @captainsjack @jugheadscrowns @bejeweledantihero @hannamarins

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

I also really relate to renegade (one of my closest friends has been struggling with severe depression and suicidal thoughts for a really long time and while I will always be happy to be there for her and help her in any way I can, it really does take a toll on you mentally to have to be a person’s main lifeline in that way). The part that always gets me is “you fire off missiles cause you hate yourself but do you know you’re demolishing me?” because that’s just… so accurate. She’ll say these horrible things about herself that also could apply to my life and I know that’s not how she means it but it still really hurts sometimes. I feel like Renegade isn’t something meant to actually be said to a person— it’s the thoughts that you struggle with that you can’t voice because you know that they’re unfair. That’s why she says “is it insensitive for me to say” before the get your shit together part— she knows it’s insensitive and she feels guilty about it, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a frustration she’s feeling. Because i definitely do have those kinds of thoughts sometimes, and immediately feel horrible about it and would never voice them. Maybe I’m just projecting, but that’s how I take it. This song actually took a huge weight off of me, because for a very long time I thought I was just a uniquely horrible person for getting frustrated or overwhelmed with someone who’s struggling through no fault of their own— I was afraid to even tell my therapist about it because I thought she’d judge me (she’d never do that, I just have very bad anxiety lol)— but Renegade made me realize that this isn’t a unique experience. And to be clear— I love my friend so so so much. I would much, much, much rather struggle with this and have her in my life than the opposite, and I would never ever ever ever ever let her know the toll that this sometimes takes on me. I know it’s not her fault and I don’t blame her for it. And I think Taylor understands that too — the conclusion drawn at the end of the chorus is “you wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody.” There’s frustration throughout the whole thing but it ends with the acknowledgement that he needs help and she doesn’t blame him for that— she’s been there too.

Thank you for sending this anon! I wanted to let you know that you shouldn’t in any way feel guilty for having the same thoughts that Taylor expresses in Renegade.

It’s also important to note that most people will never be just “Renegade Taylor” or “Renegade Joe” in their life. Most people will go through life sometimes being a “burden” because of their mental health, and sometimes bearing the burden of someone else (hence “you wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody”, as you pointed out).

You’re absolutely NOT alone in feeling the way you feel (and I’m not saying this to minimize your feelings, but rather hoping it will make you feel less alone). Sometimes, no matter how much we love someone, it becomes too much to deal with them, and we shouldn’t sacrifice ourselves to the point of suffering so much without even letting the other person know what they’re doing to us. You should find a compromise that works for you and your friend ❤️.

#renegade

[xaerais]

⠀⠀⠀⠀Billy Hargrove.

⠀⠀⠀⠀Let’s talk about him.

We’re gonna start this off with a 𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚. This post will absolutely mention some dark && mature themes such as gun violence, racism, homophobia, narcissism, murder and abuse. Audience discretion is advised. Now let’s get into it.

For the longest time, I felt I couldn’t quite yet speak on this topic out of irrational fear of getting bullied or targeted over a fictional character. But now I’m at the point where if that does happen, at the end of the day, he’s still a fictional character and people are more than welcome to block me if they see fit. After all, this post is only for those who are willing to listen, have a conversation and keep an open mind. Thank you.

So, everyone knows that Dacre Montgomery’s character, Billy Hargrove, is an asshole. He was written to be that way in the rawest form, and it’s nothing new. He didn’t try to mask it—anyone could’ve guessed just by meeting him that he wasn’t exactly the friendliest guy to be around. And boy did a LOT of people start hating him for his horrible actions throughout the course of S2 of Stranger Things. All of which were completely valid, mind you. Most people only really seemed to like his character not because they particularly enjoyed the way he acted, but rather how “pretty” he was. And that’s about as far as any love for him went.

The hate, however, stemmed from the horrible things he said about the same girls he attended high school with to the blatant racism targeting a young Lucas Sinclair, threatening him and intimidating him to stay away from his younger step-sister, Max Mayfield. Then there was his abusive nature towards Max, herself, when the two had scenes together, displaying their very clear, very obvious dislike for one another.

Why would anyone like someone like that? Why would anyone forgive someone like that?

It made Sadie Sink’s character super relatable right off the bat for some people, and that’s purely what the writers wanted. After all, more often than not when a new character is introduced in a series as young as Stranger Things at the time, there’s bound to be some sort of hesitation from the fandom as far as acceptance goes. But there are too many people who live in tough family situations, that giving Max a shitty older brother made her seem like the perfect person to attach to because she made those of us in similar situations feel seen. Hence the intense love for Max, and the only evergrowing hate for Billy.

Furthermore, as someone who’s followed up with the show since 2017 ( the release year of S2 of Stranger things ) with every single season after the fact, I agree with many who strongly dislike Billy’s character, and saw how wrong his actions were. He shouldn’t be forgiven for them, regardless if it was the 80s, and regardless if that behavior was a lot more normalized than it is today ( although even now that’s a little up for debate, but that’s a different conversation entirely ).

But what I don’t particularly like is the plain and simple fact a lot of Billy haters out there like to cherry pick what they focus on in a character, bringing out only the problematic aspects of him specifically, and not his full character potential. Especially after the release of S3, which has been out for officially three years now since July 4th of 2019.

When I continue seeing Billy hate/slander today, it makes me wonder if people watched the same show that I did, or if they completely skipped S3 as a whole.

For starters, I’ve seen people claim things like,

“If that was your son, would you support him if he acted like that? Would you raise him to be that way? No, because it’s fucking disgusting.”

and...

“Billy is a racist and abusive piece of shit... be serious, not every white horrible man needs redemption.”

“Billy never cared about Max.”

“Did ya’ll not listen to Max’s monologue?” ( in reference to S4 ).

All of which I’m upset about because these claims, to put it plainly, downright don’t make ANY sense. The first quote, especially, because it just goes to show that some people straight up ignored Neil Hargrove.

Neil Hargove, played by Will Chase, made his appearance briefly at the end of S2. It was a confrontational matter between him and Montgomery’s character, asking about where Max may have disappeared to since it was late at night and her bedroom window was wide open with her nowhere to be seen. For context, Billy was supposed to watch over her while Neil and Susan, Max’s mother, went on a date. Billy claimed that Max was old enough and suggested she went to the arcade and that he didn’t feel the need to watch over her after apparently doing so all week, and Neil grew angry with him and that’s where it all went downhill. Here’s the scene below.

As we can see, Billy must’ve retained his abusive and homophobic nature from him. We later find out in S3 through Billy’s memories that he primarily grew up with his father after his mother abandoned him due to no longer being able to handle the abusive nature Billy’s father displayed. And for those who don’t remember that scene either, here it is below.

Neil Hargrove had a huge part to play in Billy’s actions now as an adult, and why he’s such a hateful person. So, to see people sit there and say that he actively chose to be that way, that’s... not entirely true. He has trauma of his own, and the best way any man of the 80s knew how to take that out, was through anger. And that’s what we saw between him and Max, and him and Lucas.

Referencing back to that quote, the answer is yes. Neil did, in fact, raise Billy to be that way through abuse.

Onto the second quote where it states Billy being an abusive, racist piece of shit not in need of any redemption—I both agree and disagree. We already know his actions for being abusive and racist were unacceptable. We no longer need to hear people tooting that horn over and over again. However, to say he didn’t deserve redemption goes to show how many people are willing to deny someone who’s hurting deep down the love and compassion they clearly need.

Billy was traumatized and abused by his father, hence why he’s become the abuser. Because in his eyes, that’s where power comes from. Holding fear over others, especially Max and Lucas, and proving to people that he’s the top dog since showing up in Hawkins. ( Cue the intense stare-down he had with Steve after beating his record as Keg King, and the comments he made to him during their basketball session back in S2 ).

But as we go further into S3, he completely loses all that power he had the second he became flayed. And damn near every scene we’ve seen him in after the fact, he’s always been crying. Now we don’t know for sure since it’s never been confirmed, but it could be safe to say he was aware and regretting every uncontrollable action he ever made after losing himself to the Mind Flayer. Automatically, those actions became quickly excused/dismissed by the fandom because at least they knew that much. That he wasn’t to blame for what he did.

But, that’s as far as that goes. Because despite all that, and despite his ultimate sacrifice in the end—this now ties into the third quote—there are still people out there preaching that Billy never cared about Max.

Clearly, a lot of people don’t understand how important that scene was between him and Eleven when she reminded him of his mother, how much he missed her, and how happy he was. It was the first time in a very long time, if at all, that someone finally understood him, and showed him affection he’s never had before since being a child. If you’re unsure what I’m talking about, here it is below.

Immediately after she temporarily breaks him free from the Mind Flayer’s control, he gets up and protects Eleven, Max and Mike from the Mind Flayer, sacrificing himself in the process and dying.

I don’t think someone who didn’t care about Max would go out of his way after being freed to save the three of them. But he did, and he died for it, and I’m sure he knew he would.

Furthermore, his last words to Max when it could’ve been anything else, was “I’m sorry.”

I firmly believe that he deserved a redemption arc because those two scenes right there proved to us as the audience that he did have a heart, and that it would’ve simply taken a little bit of effort to see it had he lived. I’m sure he would’ve been trauma bonded to Max, too, after the fact, and would’ve grown to care for her more as a little sister than some girl he feels he’s been forced to take care of since a young age. And Max who could’ve helped encourage him to stray from being such a terrible person like we knew him to be from S2.

Unfortunately, however, that’s not how things played out, so last but not least we push ourselves to S4 of Stranger Things, referring to Max’s letter to Billy and later her monologue in the season finale.

As we know, Max wrote several letters to several characters in Ep. 3 of S4 after figuring out she had been cursed by S4’s antagonist, Vecna. She even wrote a letter to Billy, and there was an entire episode named Dear Billy to focus on what she wrote in her letter to him before she was tormented by illusions of Billy thanks to Vecna’s curse.

In her letter, she talked about how since he’d been gone, life for her and their family had gone completely down the gutter. Neil left Susan and Max behind, Susan became overworked and an alcoholic, and she continued on with her letter saying she deeply regretted never attempting to save Billy or pull him away the night they fought the Mind Flayer. She even included wishing that if she had, they might’ve been able to have a real brother and sister relationship like she wanted. To start over and try to become good friends with him to achieve that.

Here’s what she says in her letter:

Max later adds on how she thought it might’ve been silly given they hated each other, but it goes to show she really did care about him in some way, and wanted to be a true little sister to him.

There are people, however, that choose to brush off what she said in this letter. Because somehow her monologue during the season finale suggests the exact opposite. How she wanted him dead for ruining her life, and that she remained hopeful it would happen. That she hesitated to run to him for that very reason. But it should go without saying that she didn’t really mean any of that.

Why?

Prior to her sitting down in the attic with Lucas at her side, she was calling out to Vecna. She was going to be the bait to lure him out so Steve, Robin and Nancy who were in the Upside Down at the time, could find their opening and kill Vecna once and for all per their plan. She was REPEATING what Vecna had said to her after reading Billy’s letter so she could draw his attention towards her. She manipulated Vecna just as she clearly manipulated a large portion of the audience with her monologue.

Let’s keep in mind that, again, Lucas was at her side. He heard the entirety of her “confession,” something that if she truly meant what she said, would’ve kept to herself exactly how she did with her letter to Billy. Both times, mind you, she knew she was going to potentially die.

It was a trap designed for Vecna, because otherwise, why wouldn’t she have included any of that in her letter to Billy in the first place? Especially when it was her sitting alone at his grave. That was a perfect time for a confession like that, but instead she wrote and talked about wishing she saved him. Not wished him dead.

This isn’t something that should have to be explained because it’s quite literally common sense at that point, but it’s there for people who didn’t understand and continue to bash both Billy and Max for it off of either side.

All in all, those were just a couple key points and huge examples of excuses I’ve seen so many people use when wanting to hate on and slander Billy.

And in no way am I trying to encourage people to love Billy after this post, because that’s not what I’m after. I more so want people to fully understand that he’s not as bad of a person as he’s often believed and depicted out to be. He was heavily traumatized and misguided, and S3 showed us he had the potential to be put back on the right path as a decent human being had he lived.

However, just a final note if some people do choose to continue to send hate, slander or paint Billy as a terrible person. I am gonna include a small list of some pretty terrible things SUPER LOVED/SYMPATHIZED characters of the series have done. And I fully expect said people to hate on them and keep the same energy for them, too.

⠀

⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗩𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗧𝗢𝗡

Slut shamed Nancy Wheeler.

Committed vandalism.

Publicly humiliated Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers.

⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗕𝗬𝗘𝗥𝗦

Committed candid.

⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝗝𝗔𝗦𝗢𝗡 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗩𝗘𝗥

Hunted after Eddie Munson, an innocent teenager, and got the whole town of Hawkins in on it.

Threatened one of Eddie’s bandmates, Gareth, to tell him where Eddie was. Nearly broke his hand knowing he was a drummer.

Threatened Nancy Wheeler.

Had his friend tackle an 11 y/o to the ground and threaten her.

Pulled a gun out on Lucas Sinclair and threatened his life. He also shot at him, then fought and nearly strangled him to death.

#Youtube #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #stranger things season four #max mayfield #stranger things season 4 #billy hargrove #billy hargrove hate #harringrove #steve harrington #stranger things vol. 2 #max mayfield death #max stranger things #billy stranger things #dacre montgomery #sadie sink #joe keery #jonathan byers #jonathan stranger things

[witch-of-the-sands]

Romeo + Juliet Modern HCs (but it's just Tybalt and Mercutio bc I only like them)

No one on my writing side blog wants to read these so they're going here bc no one in my real life wants to hear these either. These r probably going to be pretty goofy without having read my fics but c'est la vie.

Mercutio

Plant guy™️

Probably seems pretty easy to tell, but he's def not immune to vices in the slightest, dude is the kinda guy to get wasted I say with love and affection

Massive overthinker probably has some kind of anxiety

CALLOUSED PALMS I SWEAR ON THAT

Black coffee drinker, probably grew up that way

Grew up in the shadow of Valentine, hence why he's kinda extra at times, because he didn't get the proper amount of attention from his parents

Terrible at most sports

Got that sprinkle of toxic masculinity in him, he doesn't believe in therapy/doesn't think he needs therapy

Silly little guy syndrome this man

Tybalt

Has done a shit ton of traveling across the globe, he has that vibe

He and Rosaline are related, and they 100% wrestle every time they meet each other in person

Kinda guy who would say no to a request and then do it

Messy as fuck but calls it "organized chaos" feel this one in my bones idk

Anger issues still fs, but is in therapy and getting better

Hates admitting that his therapist is right a lot of the time

Competitive as hell. He says it's a way for him to let out anger in a healthy way but the dude is just silly

PERIODS AT THE END OF ALL OF HIS TEXT MESSAGES

Okay okay final one, he seems like this really intimidating guy when you first get to meet him, but he tends to just be relatively quiet and has an RBF, he's pretty nice once you get him to crack

Okay I'm done thank you tumblr for letting me decompress all of that

#romeo + juliet #mercutio #tybalt #headcanon