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oftincturedwords · 1 year

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Title: Ties Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: Star Wars : The Bad Batch Rating: T+ Chapter Warnings: ¡Spoilers! Crying , Grief/Mourning , Implied Canon Character Death , Angst , Nightmares , Explicit Nightmares , etc. Characters: Crosshair & Omega Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort , Brother - Sister Dynamics , Holding Hands , Crying , etc. Timeline: Based off of Star Wars : The Bad Batch series three trailer ; scene with Crosshair & Omega in cells beside each other Pairings: Gen. None. Word Count: 3034 Overall Summary: Crosshair doesn't allow his gaze to drift towards the cell next to his, the open slates between them allowed him some view of the entrance and within the cell the kid usually occupied. It was too great risk for familiarly to be used as leverage against them. But he can't remain distant when he knows something is wrong. Chapter Summary: Crosshair wakes in the middle of the night to hear Omega crying. He tries his best to help. A/N: These ideas just sprang to my head once I heard of the scene between Omega & Crosshair in the Star Wars Celebration trailer , thus add my apparent enjoyment of causing turmoil for my favourite characters , I couldn't help but write this ficlet up. I wrote it & the next chapter ( which will be posted in a few day ) up in a single night because of the inspiration so here's to hope it's coherent & in-character as I think it is ! Thus consider this a small collection of interconnecting one - shots of Crosshair & Omega whilst they are held on Tantiss. If more ideas come to mind , the chapter count will go up & the tags will be updated. I have no beta this all mistakes are mine. Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Star War : The Clone Wars & Star Wars : The Bad Batch. Neither am I associated with Lucasfilms , Disney+ , nor any of the actors who portray these characters. I make no money off any of my stories , this is purely for entertainment purposes. Read On : ao3 | under the cut

Wakefulness came instantaneously to Crosshair. Much like the times when on a mission he would be woken to take his turn of the watch, a near silent whisper of his name from one of his brothers and he was roused enough to fight if it had been needed. The instincts and habits born during combat, or from combat training, hadn't lessened any in the countless weeks he had spent as a prisoner. For his eyes were open and mind alert before he knew exactly what had woken him.

Drawn from the depths of sleep by the softest of out-of-place noise. A breathy, hiccuping sound that was familiar in the sense he had heard it before. Although the memory of it was distant, it had happened years ago in what seemed like another life, and any recollection was immediately dismissed when it registered that the stifled crying was coming from the kid’s cell.

Tensing at that realisation, Crosshair listened a moment more to the muffled sniffles and shallowly exhaled sobs from the cell directly next to his. They were quiet in a way that was deliberate and purposefully, yet desolate and grieved sounding to the point, he knew there was nothing the kid could have done to stop crying altogether. They were the tears of the emotional wrought, which never heeded logic nor yielded to restraint or threats, they wouldn't stop until they were spent.

Normally, Crosshair would have left the kid alone. He knew he wasn't good with words of comfort at the best of times and the barrier separating their cells, despite the slats that were vented through the durasteel and allowed them to see into each other’s room, it still physically barred any actions of comfort he could offer. Not that they had much to offer in way of amenities anyway, but he could have at least added his blanket to hers or sat beside her until her tears ran dry as he had done before for his brothers.

However, he wasn't sure if it would even work for her if he had been able to do that.

But after what had happened only a handful of days ago, Crosshair wasn't going to leave anything to chance with the kid if he could help it. Just because he thought he knew why she was crying didn't mean he could be wrong, he had been intimately shown that he could and had repeatedly been wrong before. Thus he, quickly yet equally as quiet, turned on his cot until he was laying on his belly and could look towards the apertures between their cells.

The lighting was dimmed to the point of blackness, aside from the red glow the shielding of their cell entrances gave off, but Crosshair had zero issue with seeing that the kid was sitting up on the bunk. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and she had her head buried into her folded arms, all but consumed by the sole blanket they had all been issued that she had lain and tucked over herself.

He could visibly see the blanket shift with every hitch of her breaths and jolt of her small frame. The greyed fabric quavered with the strength of her trembling in-between every jarring sob she fought to restrain and quiet.

“Kid.” Crosshair called out in a whisper, which caused an instant cessation of the repressed sobbing and a stillness to overcome the kid as if his voice had physically froze her on the spot.

Seeing such a reaction had Crosshair’s lips twisting moreso into a frown. The response had been a fearful one, instinctive to the point it was nearly innate. Although, he wasn’t surprised at it given how Kamino raised its clones and their current situation as captives to scientists of even less compassion than those who bred them to begin with. It felt wrong to see, and sparked at that bitterly simmering anger that always burnt within his chest.

“Crosshair?” Came her choked whisper, thick with tears and broken between the syllables of his name, as if she had spoken in the middle of a sob, whilst she tilted her head up a fraction to see over her arms and from under the blanket she had draped over her head.

“What is it?” He asked in way of an answer, his voice a sibilant murmur.

His words again had an instant effect upon her. And he could only watch as she swallowed back another sob, a pair of crystalline tears falling from her reddened eyes and slipping in twin rivulets down her already damp cheeks before she shut her eyes tightly and shook her head in the negative repeatedly. Dropping it back into her arms whilst her whole body shuddered, he heard her give a gasping breath that was only muffled by how vehemently she was pressing herself against her mouth to silence the noise.

The split second all that had taken to occur had sent a lancing of panic through Crosshair’s chest. His mind involuntarily conjured up the images of days prior and brought forth the very same helpless terror he had felt then, thus he’s shoving down his blanket without caring where he lay and throwing his legs over the side of the bunk to get up in the next instant.

Soundlessly crossing the short expanse of the room in hardly the time it would take to breathe his next breath, Crosshair came up to the adjoining wall of their cells that held a small space between it and the end of his bunk that he could crouched down by yet still see through the lower ends of the open slats on the wall. It was less conspicuous to any passing guards if they happened to walk by or check the cameras since it would afford him the sparse few seconds to return to his bunk or appear to be anything other than talking with the kid.

He moved automatically, an ingrained habit to conceal and hide that hadn't left his muscle memory from the years he’d spent in the main barracks on Kamino before he and his brothers had been given their own privately shared quarters. Yet if something were dangerously wrong with the kid, his secrecy wound proved unneeded for he would ensure the guards brought medical up and to her if she needed it. After last time, he doubted he would have to make much of a racket to get them to obey.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his harsh whisper laced with a steeliness that sharpened his tone, the underlying of heightened concern was buried beneath its acerbity.

The only answer he received were the chocked sounds of her muffled weeping.

“Omega.” He called, an urgency within the sole whisper of her name that held every ounce of worry and tension he was feeling.

“‘M not hurt,” She finally answered after a stretched handful of moments, her words a tad garbled by her tears but understandable enough, “Or sick. Just, just had a nightmare.”

Crosshair felt himself practically wilt against the wall before him, a relief it wasn't anything more serious and potentially life threatening washed over him with an immediacy that left him feeling shaky. But he simply breathed out the stress of the last several minutes in a muted exhale, willing his mind away from the images his memories held of a few days ago.

Pausing only a moment to contemplate her words further, nothing physical was wrong, but it didn't make her distress any less. It'd been a few years since Crosshair had helped any of his brothers with nightmares of this extent. Since leaving Kamino they had all dealt with them differently than they had as cadets, never alone still, unless any of them professed the want to be alone after them.

But it was more of waking them if they couldn't on their own, then offering a sip-pack of filtered water and sitting nearby until the haunting images faded enough for them to return to sleep. If sleeping again wasn't an option, then staying up till the terror or ill feelings weren't so pressing. Or so Crosshair had always done. He wasn't one for many words, nor comfortingly eloquent, and so he didn't offer much assurances that way. Actions usually spoke louder than words anyway.

Thus Crosshair simply turned around from where he knelt and shifted so he could sit down, cross legged with his back against the thin openings between their cells.

Leaning his head back against them, he quietly turned to sit on the durasteel flooring. It's coldness seeping through the fabric of his trousers to chill the flesh along his legs and arse, but it was negligible and not an unfamiliar sensation since he had camped out on the deck beside bunks and berths multiple times throughout his eleven years of life. Slept even on worse surfaces.

He couldn't be there next to her, but he could still sit with her as close as he their physical confines allowed him to. Attempting to offer her the silent comfort he had afforded his brothers numerous times before; the voiceless succour he’d provided hunter whenever he had migraines so painful he was entirely incapacitated yet couldn't be left alone, the same quiet amity he lent tech whenever his brother would narrate the process of a complicated project whilst he verbally worked through the issue, the soundless presence he had given the reg whenever he sat with him on his bunk during sleepless nights.

With Wrecker it had been less about crosshair offering a silent support and more about rising to meet his older brother’s energy, engaging in and initiating contests and games that they routinely fought for place as victor. It was usually Wrecker who worked to be the calm and steady company whenever Crosshair had needed it.

He wasn't certain what would best work with the kid. His options were limited as is, he knew, especially given there were eyes upon them more often than not, but perhaps this would grant a modicum of solace? If anything he would remain awake alongside her, she wouldn't be alone.

A modified silence reigned around them. No noise except for the distant humming of the buildings’ systems, the air vents cycling and the low humming that always came from the multiple glowing shields that held them all within their prisons. Only accompanied by the smothered hiccuping sobs and wet snuffling that came from the kid as she continued to quietly cry.

“I dreamt of that day on Eriadu,” He heard her speak up suddenly after several minutes had passed, explaining the reason for her upset in a subdued voice, softly heaving a stuttered breath thereafter, “The, the day that Tech...”

Crosshair stiffened at hearing her admission, startled by the onslaught of heartache hearing his little brother’s name had shot through his core. Eyes closing on their own accord, he strove to keep his own breathing even. Measured and counted.

He had been informed of what happened by Hemlock. The kriffing bastard had brandished the remains of Tech’s shattered helmet to him as if it were a trophy meant to be shown off and smiled at with revenance.

Later when he had been returned to his own cell and saw the kid was in hers, looking worriedly over at him, he had whirled on her once the guards had left them alone. Not shouting nor anywhere near loud, but demanded he did. Low and severe, he relaid what Hemlock told him to her and pressed to know if it was true. Yet he hadn't needed any verbal confirmation from her since the expression on her face and the welling of tears in her eyes had told him everything.

Shuddering, Crosshair drew a slow breath against the icy-grip of grief that reached out from his heart to clamp vice-like around his chest, intertwining its talons between each and every rib. It strove to stutter his next inhale and constrict the rest to nothing.

The ire he had initially felt when he had found out had tapered, he couldn't remain angry long enough to stave off the tide of grief anymore these last several days. Extinguished by a resurgence of memories, likely brought up by exhaustion and grief, from their years as cadets and from their graduation onwards to an elite squad in the GAR.

Stupid moments during the dull moments of missions or in-between assignments, idle chatter of conversations he hadn't remembered until now to petty arguments that felt all the more trivial to shared silences of companionship and solidarity.

Recollections of smiling, and outright laughing a few rare times, with his brothers. Of games and tears and jokes and the grittiest of missions where they barely made it out by the skin of their teeth. Memories of every sort, good and bad, had coalesced and come to the forefront of his mind unbidden. Each one worked to erode at his anger and the bitterness he had felt, it all felt frivolous and inane now. Regret had seeped in heavier than ever before, mingling with guilt and his grief to the degree he felt ill with it.

Learning of his brother’s death in an attempt to rescue him and then seeing the kid had been captured only to have her confirm his warning had been received just not followed had twisted something deep inside Crosshair. He had clung to the rage at their continued distrust of him, that they wouldn't even listen to his wanting, and had been snuffed out almost immediately.

For their squad had never been one to follow orders or adhere to any strict rules, anything ‘by the book’ was a joke they all smirked at. He shouldn't have expected anything less, even if the kid was involved. she was off the same stock after all, and living with those four for so long had to have had an influence.

Maker knows Wrecker, Tech, and the reg. held no impulse control if Hunter wasn't actively present. Thus he doubted the kid was any different.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was closer now, directly at his back, so lost to his reminiscence he hadn't heard her get up nor walk over towards where he sat, “I know you’re mourning him too. That's why I didn't want to say anything.”

Her words felt more akin to a hit to the solar plexus than the expression of sympathy that they were. And again he had to work to steady his breathing lest he lose any control over the amount of oxygen he drew in, shoving back against the pressure welling within his own chest.

Focussing instead on the faint sounds from her side of the slatted wall, hearing the soft shuffling of the kid’s clothes along with the dull thumps of her sitting down behind him. The faint warmth he could feel from her back through the slits in the wall told him she had mirrored his posture.

“But I miss them so much.” She said after a breadth of silence between them, nearer a broken whimper that continued through the wobbliness of tears to whisper, “And I want to go home, but when we get out of here and see Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo again, Tech won't— No rescue plan or any amount of credits can bring him back to us.”

Clenching his eyes closed at hearing her words, spoken so plainly and bereaved yet still she held out hope for rescue based upon her use of ‘when’ rather than ‘if’, and she remained adamant in her wish to have him return with her it seemed since she only ever referred to them instead of just herself when it came to escaping or being rescued. ‘We’ never ‘me’ or ‘I’ when she spoke of it. Believing in it so heartedly she didn't seem aware she had used such verbiage.

It brought forth another form of sadness to Crosshair's chest, the grief over knowing Tech was gone nestled beside the misery of knowing her hopes would not be met.

Omega held such belief in their brothers and in everything turning out with them reunited, even if it wasn't better or all right, that they would all see each other again. But Tech had already lost his life in an effort to rescue just him, thus locating this place and infiltrating it was a challenge unlike any they had encountered before. Too many variables to calculate against and the highest of secrecy about this place, along with the Empire’s sheer numbers and degree of control. Add to the fact, Hemlock held a sadistic ambition when it came to his experiments…

It was unlikely they would be found before something worse happened. If they could be located at all, there was an even less chance of everyone surviving that rescue attempt. In one piece or at all. There was little accuracy in her hopes, but Crosshair supposed that was why they were called hopes. They weren't actuality nor truths, simply wishes that were based upon a small shard of reality. And after everything that had been taken from her, he couldn't take that from her. Not yet, not now.

Venting a muted sigh, Crosshair bowed his head and moved a hand of his to reach back beside him through the lower end of the opening between their cells. Although his hands were lithe, he could only reach through to the knuckles nearest his palm before the edges of the slat stopped him, but it was enough for him to brush the fabric of her sleeve.

Pinching the material awkwardly between his pointer and middle finger, he tugged it gently twice to gain her attention towards his hand. Hearing her shift behind him, he released her shirtsleeve to splay out his finger slightly in a deliberate motion. Only a second's pause came from her before a quiet sniffle met the air and he felt her small hand encircle his fingers. And he curled his fingers a slight to ensure she felt his attempt to hold her hand back.

A/N: :))) I have made myself sad now… but another chapter to come , so see you soon with more feels <3 The next chapter will detail what Crosshair references in this chapter about what happened to Omega those days prior.

#bayze's writing #my writing #star wars the bad batch #the bad batch #swtbb #star wars the bad batch fanfiction #star wars the bad batch fanfic #the bad batch fanfiction #the bad batch fanfic #swtbb fanfiction #swtbb fanfic #tbb fanfic #tbb fanfiction #crosshair #omega tbb

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thesagedahlia · 4 years

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🕊Cassie: A Caged Bird Set Free🕊

When it comes to Cassie, I do find it unfortunate that all she ever was associated with was being Diddy's girlfriend for a good chunk of her youth. I always felt she could have been a larger star had she gotten from under Diddy, but I always felt she had potential to take other paths in her career. I truly believe it was the lifestyle that kept Cassie with him, because she never struck me as a "happy woman" being with him. Diddy is a pretty toxic individual, that's plain as day, but I don't feel he would ever own up to abuse that he put ANY of his women through, let alone Cassie (when I say 'abuse', I'm speaking generally & not directly relating this to solely physical abuse). Seeing Cassie with Alex & her new family? THAT'S happiness. No matter what I pick up in the cards I put down, I refuse to deny the complete 180° Cassie's story took; from being on the arm of a powerful mogal, to being with a true soulmate & feeling the high of life. I always believed that Cassie was meant to have a certain lifestyle, & I never saw her wanting to be in the public eye all her life. I never wanted Cassie to stay with Diddy because I knew she was going to want her life back one day, & that's exactly what happened.

**DISCLAIMER**

I am not declaring, nor am I insinuating, that anything I say in my predictions are true accounts of any of the parties involved. This reading is for entertainment purposes only, & should only taken as such. All in good fun, folks 🤷🏾‍♀️🧿

🕊What is Cassie's default demeanor/personality❔

She has a lot of compassionate & divine/magical energy, & she is a person that is always seeking for knowledge. She truly has the best intentions in mind for other people, & she is the type of person to help those in need without expecting anything in return. She has woken up to her self & her own personal power, but she is denying her emotional truth. I get there might be a masculine energy watching over her as well, could be a family member or an ancestor. I feel like when it comes to how she is truly feeling, she is able to trick others into believing that she is okay, & I think she does a lot of that with her husband. He is very protective of her & she likes to ease his worries about how she feels, but I feel like he knows when she's trying to brush off her anxieties/sadness. She does this to avoid a confrontation or conflicting conversation that will upset her. She has coping mechanisms when it comes to leaving people out of her emotional current, & again, this is something that Alex is starting to notice. She is still holding onto her trauma & she hides it with excessive enthusiasm, but she could be coping with either depression or deep sadness. I feel she is coming out of it & she is slowly recovering because she still feels a little defensive when it comes to have something that feels like a blessing to be taken away from her; she has up an emotional wall but Alex is helping it slowly, but surely, come down. What is also showing up here is that she has a love for art of all forms, & she is even talented in many pursuits herself; I feel like she has many more (secret) talents that a lot of people don't know. We definitely don't know Cassie as much as we may seem, there is definitely so much more to her.

🕊What is surrounding Cassie at this time❓

I'm actually getting a gross energy trying to get to her (I have psychic reasoning to believe it's Diddy), & it honestly feels like it is something that's trying to distress her. I have a feeling Diddy, people from Diddy's camp, who are mutual friends of Diddy, or people close to Diddy, try to get through to her via social media, but they may be people trying to keep tabs for Diddy or he may be trying to get back in with her as a friend, through others. I feel she is suspecting that this person (we can speculate that is Diddy; this person has had a possessive, deceitful energy, & she has a history of love with) well try to gain sympathy for their past together in the public eye. She doesn't seem to trust this person due to a checkered past (now who else would that be?). Meanwhile, Cassie is in a more stable/secure place in her life, & this kind of stress is the last thing she needs. It really feels like a dark cloud that is looming over her & trying to get to her. Either she has been hearing from him recently or she is going to be hearing from him soon. I feel she tries not to let it get to her, but I feel it interferes with her focus on her marriage at times. She has been coming into her own since she released herself from the past, which allowed her to neglect herself by being devoted to a fault. Since releasing from the past, Cassie has been redirected on to her correct path all at once. I still feel she has her days, but her marriage with her husband helps her to heal. She's awakened a lot since Diddy, & she is seeing the truth of her past with him through the emotional fog. She's been working hard to heal her heart chakra, & she feels like she's finally reaching a place of emotional security. I feel a big worry for her is allowing herself to open to abuse, as she's done in the past. I feel there are times where she can't be open about these things with her husband because she doesn't want him to worry about that. She is wanting to move on from the hurt that has been having a hold on her, & she doesn't have any intent on rehashing her past, since there is a lot of sadness she still feels; stuff like trauma that doesn't go away overnight, that will take her some time to heal from.

🕊What was the relationship dynamic between Cassie & Diddy❔

I'll tell you there wasn't much love on either side of the fence within this connection. For Cassie, she is very artistically & intuitively inclined, & she was determined to make a stable foundation for herself. I feel like she was able to keep a professional relationship with Diddy & that was where she wanted to keep it. She even had an entrepreneurial spirit that had plans she wanted to execute. Unfortunately for her, Diddy was in a controlling energy when it came to what was going to be done with her career. Diddy on the other hand had every intention to fulfill a desire, or muse with Cassie. In fact, I'll go as far as to say that he had power to block any opportunities that she could possibly achieved without him. He himself was acting out through a childhood trauma & wounding. Diddy was dealing with a lot of demons (I won't say hes necessarily faced (all of) them) which allowed him to project his saboteur energy on to his relationship with Cassie, which also made its way into her career. Cassie was able to financially capitalize off of the way she looked without compromising the power of her own spirit; then comes Diddy. I won't say that she was forced to stay with him under his will, in fact she was free to do whatever she wanted, but only as long as it was with Diddy & it was within his personal restrictions. She's seen that man's shadow on many occasions, as we can imagine, & as she seen that overtime he allowed them to grow & thrive, much to her disdain. She has thought to leave the situation many a times before actually leaving. Diddy, in many ways, was trying to recapture his youth with Cassie, & it was actually a total drain of her own personal power. They created a toxic trauma/soul tie with each other, which is why Cassie is still uneasy about it & why it took her so long to leave. I don't want to speculate too much regarding pregnancies, but I see a miscarriage or loss of a child being what finally brought her to her senses. She knew she wasn't going to get anything good out of being with him, & she had intense feelings & reasons to believe that he wasn't going to change/grow with her. So their relationship wasn't on a lovey-dovey side, not even in the least bit.

🕊 Will Cassie & Diddy reconnect; as friends❓

For Cassie, right now is a no, & I don't think she's sure about the future for the time being. She's very cognizant of his power & what he is capable of, & she doesn't believe he will change.

As for Diddy, Cassie's expectations seem to be correct, he's not going to be able to grow enough for her. I feel like it will take him to open up his being to heal his trauma; he has too much pride to admit it to himself, let alone heal it. He would not reach out in a genuine manner right now, that's for sure.

🕊 What is surrounding Cassie & Alex Fine's marriage at this time❔

Right now, they seem to be hitting a rough patch, & it seems like there have been instances where Diddy, or people within his camp or close to him, has already trying to reach out & get in touch with Cassie. It feels like they've dealt with the 'elephant's in the room, which was the fact that she is still hearing from him, but Alex still feels a certain type of way about it, though he chooses to mask how he truly feels to his wife. He feels like he is fighting for her, or fighting to be with her, while Cassie finds this connection that she has with Alex to be a spiritually healing one; she has changed a lot, thanks to this marriage. She feels Alex/this connection has rescued her, & she believes this was a blessing/gift from her ancestors. I do feel Alex believes in Cassie's love for him, & he loves/trusts her in return; it's Diddy, & anyone associated with him, is what he doesn't trust. Alex feels Diddy is very unpredictable & unstable, based off of what his wife has told him, but I feel they have been open about nearly everything; what Alex DOESN'T speak on is his disdain & paranoia regarding the whole thing. He has a respect & recognition for her that he heavily rewards her with his loyalty. I feel he is a source for a lot of beautiful words & great advice to offer her as well, & she definitely learns from him, just as he learns from her. I feel Cassie's ancestors come to her & give her guidance dealing with Diddy's pop-ups & she is more aware of how to handle it; which is really to ignore him while she's trying to eject him from her system. It was a point where she would be on the verge of breaking down but her husband has been helping her through that. It really feels like they are trying to get over a dark cloud in their marriage, but they intend to be okay within the connection. I feel Alex has actually posed a threat along the lines of, "If you keep hear from them again, I'm going to say something", & I wouldn't be surprised if he already has. Overall, they're in a happy space together as a couple, & they continue to teach & uplift each other.

🕊 Will the Fine's marriage last for the long haul❓

There is potential for a long lasting marriage, but there is still this conflicting energy that is underlying & leaving one (or both) of them guarded. I'm getting that their meeting was destined & divinely orchestrated & it has room to go far, though there is still an unpredictability that needs sorting out. Despite there being the energy of opposites attracting one another, there is still love here that is unconditional. Concrete emotions/feelings have been established between them, but there is still external strife regarding an expected outcome (of a message). I feel legal action suggested to be taken after concern of this income. This feels like people who have caused stress or who was a part of her past life (with Diddy) that still try to reach out to Cassie, which causes her to have some stresses over it. I feel if a restraining order hasn't already been established, they are in talks with a lawyer about their options; they feel like Diddy is a huge concern for Cassie's mental/emotional health, as if he has ways of getting to her which she may be expectant of (I doubt any of this will be publicized, they plan to have a very private marriage life). I see her ancestors/guides pushing her to heal these parts of her that feels stagnant because of her past. Like I said before, she's getting there despite still having her moments. Despite dealing with this dark cloud energy, Cassie & Alex are actively building towards the future & have a 'wait & see' attitude about everything. There is emotional healing/purging that needs to happen before she could get into a confident place in her marriag, & the sense that she can brief about anxieties from the past. One thing I did see is that Cassie may want to branch out onto her own profession/career that she is passionate about but may be having some fears about how it will go & a part of her is worried that Diddy will be surface in her life in some way. Until she can heal from this trauma, she will be able to fully enjoy her marriage in confidence.

🕊 What lies in the future for Cassie + advice for her❔

Cassie will be facing her own emotional cycles, as well as fulfilling familial obligations. All of this new energy and experiences are able to be teachable on both ends of the spectrum; She is growing & learning with her husband & daughter, & she will be uncovering her true self in the process. She will be going through major changes/cycles that may take her through highs & lows, but it is all in an effort to achieve peace & balance in her life. She isn't finished with dealing with dark days where her emotions are uncontrollable, but she still plans to move forward. She's working through an energy that has made it hard to trust others, but Alex means her well so she is finding it easy to trust him, thereby learning to be open with others again in a more "organically Cassie" way. I feel there is a lot of inner turmoil that she isn't acknowledging or that she is holding onto. Caring for her daughter is helping to teach her patience and love in all forms. There is a duality that needs to be understood instead of oppressed. I also feel she has a lot of ideas/projects that she may want to invest in, but she never acted on that calling because of what she would be up against. I expect her to be very lowkey about her life in the public, as well as her marriage, & she may not even shared these passions or desires with many people. She believes she is destined to heal others through her own healing and that is her exact approach and motive from here on out (a career move she decides to take will probably be a reflection of that). She's allowing her ancestors/spirit team to guide her & she is working on her surrender to trust to the higher workings.

Advice: Cassie may be trying to heal a wounded energy child of hers. She may need to be careful expressing her pain or sadness their self destructive or uncontrolled ways. She has to be careful not to take on the world problems as her own, as well as an undiscovered or unexplored temper/anger that can build-up & manifest into something out of her control. There is also an issue of her being entrapped in her head that may be less than helpful to her. Cassie knees to allow all of herself to crumble what she is clinging on to so she can become inspired again; a 'destroy & rebuild' tactic. She should come to realize all in her life that is beautiful & find faith in being 100% open to any and all possibilities available to her. She needs to focus on lifting the veil around all that she use to allow as truth; she must have more of an questioning approach to everything. Anything unaligned with her spirit will need to be removed from her life, whether by her own doing or by the hand of spirit. She needs to approach things as a mediator for her own personal energy; she needs to be able to have neutral motives or fairness when it comes to herself & others, & she needs to establish the proper boundaries that will protect herself from those who mean her harm.

🕊 BONUS QUESTION:

😤 How does Alex Fine feel about Diddy + his kids (mainly his sons)❓

Alex feels Diddy is plotting behind the scenes, as he has actively tried to get under Cassie, & his, skin. He may be worried that Cassie's grief toward him is romantic, which is far from true. He harbors a lot of resentment for Cassie's past, & he doesn't trust that Diddy won't try to keep resurfacing. He also feels personally that Diddy thinks too highly of himself & his negative judgment of reality. He doesn't agree with his lifestyle, but he feels his motives/actions are coming from a hurt place. Alex's overall view of the Combs' brothers is that they are 'grown up products' of their father & to see them go down a certain route would be unfortunate to him. He also feels grief for 2/3s of the boys' loss of their mother (he slightly feels this grief for Diddy as well, which he feels contributes to his theory), & he finds it unfortunate they don't have a positive influence in their father. He does believe Diddy has some demons & darkness that dwells within him & that he is an unstable person.

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fandomgirl2312 · 6 years

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Saving Cayde

I can't cope with the fact that Cayde dies...

So I write a fanfiction in which my OC, Ferra (Cayde always calls her „Foxy“ because of her gleaming orange eyes and red, short hair.), an awoken female warlock saves him by sacrificing herself. Boom. (If you can't handle mary-sue shit, don't read this... )

Warning: some gore + angst

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*Ferra POV*

I shot every lousy Scorn that ran towards me, and the blood of dozen fallen beasts staining the front of my visor made it harder for me to aim and make clean shots. And even worse, the adrenaline and rush of the fight was starting to make my hands shake. I sensed that something was wrong, and hoped so, so dearly that nothing happened to Cayde.

That everything would be fine.

My coppern ghost whirled around me, struggling to heal the wounds that were plastered all around my body, but the precise shot of a sniper is what finally made me fall with a pained scream, my head colliding with the ground and helmet shattering in the process, the shards embedding themselves in my skin and barely missing my left eye.

I grunted when I felt the pulsing pain in my leg and squinted my eyes, trying to focus on my enemies through the blur of my vision.

I could almost not escape the snapping maw of a Scorn, it's yellowish teeth only a few centimeters away from my face, and emitted a wave of solar energy from my hand to send the alien flying in the other direction.

As a result of dodging the attack while already sitting on a steep edge, I tilted back too far and began rolling down the ledge, so I reopened the wounds Eve, my ghost, just healed.

She immediatly cursed something in vex-language and swapped back to english after de-materializating from my side:

'Would you PLEASE stay still for just ONE second? I can't do my work if you keep moving and jumping!'

I finally regained control of my fast descent as I got hold of a cable that hung out of the damaged and crooked ground-plate.

I crashed against the now even steeper ground and a pained wheeze for air left my protesting lungs as the wind was knocked out of me.

I had to stop myself from swooning and looked up instead, seeing that the scorn have found a weapon stand.

'easier said than done!'

The sentence left my mouth quiet and pressed, and I looked over my shoulder, down into the now not so deep abyss. A few broken stories underneath me was a quiet battlefield, and I started to feel sick when I saw the precise headshot on every dead prisoner. That could only be Cayde's work. This could mean he is either fine and has already met Petra, bragging about his Kills and how cool he must have looked.

Or...

My ghost materialized directly next to my ear, her voice immediately screeching.

'...been working with you for YEARS now. FOR. YeARS! You know how pissed I get when you don't let me do my job, and you don't...'

I rolled my eyes when Eve's nagging voice brought me back to reality, and I looked up again to see that some scorn began to climb down towards me, gun in hand, already aiming at me and Eve.

My eyes widened as the first salve flew by my head, so I snatched my ranting and now utterly protesting ghost out of the air and let go of the cable, jumping backwards to the lower platform.

A small light-jump curbed our fall, and as soon as I hit the ground again, I limped, as best as I could, into the shadows of the higher floors. The scorn seemed, surprisingly, not interested in following us. Eve has finally turned silent and got to work, so I let myself slump against a wall and slide to the ground, wounded leg stretched out.

I pulled my broken helmet off my face, the shards of the Visor still stuck in my skin.

I pulled on the shards with some light I formed in my Hand, all pieces leaving the cuts clean and net even hurting anymore.

Eve carefully weaved the thin strings of light in the hole the bullet left in my leg, and the light did the rest.

I took the minute to check my ammunition and reloaded my pistol, my eyes falling on the side of the weapon.

It had a cranky, smudgy text written on it, and I smiled when I read it for the hundredth time:

Cayde was here :3

I didn't really know when he has written this, and I didn't really care. But it was from him, and that's all that counts.

Suddenly, oh so suddenly, the single shot of an all too familiar gun, the Ace of Spades, ripped the momentum of silence, and my head whipped to the direction it was coming from, gun raised, panic at high levels.

Eve has already finished her work, and her optic looked troubled, almost scared in my eyes, the coppern shell reflecting the light of the fires around us.

I immediately stood up and ran-floated, as quiet as I could, towards the collapsed concrete wall, where the sound was coming from.

And as I slowly, slowly neared the corner, I focused on the sounds that came from the other room.

I almost didn't hear the faint and pained cough of a mechanic vocal chord, and I snapped around the corner, forgetting all my caution.

I froze.

My gun slipped out of my hand, colliding with the ground soundly, but I didn't hear anything.

My worst nightmares have turned to reality.

It was Cayde.

Wounded.

On the ground.

And his ghost was nowhere to be seen.

As soon as I defroze, I stumbled towards him, tears already threatening to escape my eyes.

This was supposed to be a normal Mission, like all the thousand missions before. Going in, having fun shooting bad guys, going out, laughing. But not this time.

I collapsed by his side, and the vents in his neck immediately whirred a bit louder, his optics refocused on the tears on my face and another pained wheeze left his vocals.

Eve immediately came to my side, scanning him and his wounds, already concentrating: But then, she stopped, looking at me, her shards expressing sadness, and I knew immediately that she couldn't help, even if she tried to. My shuddering hands slowly rested on his chest, feeling the incredible heat of his processors working so hard to keep him alive, and even more tears started leaving my eyes.

'Hey foxy...' another strangled cough left him.

His hand calmly took hold of my trembling ones, and I smiled through the tears, looking into his eyes again.

I saw him give up, finishing up with his live, and it broke my heart to see that.

And suddenly, my heart stopped.

Technically, I COULD save him. With some Warlock-magic, it SHOULD be possible.

I knew, Ikora forbid us to perform rituals like these, but in that moment I didn't care, only one thought flew through my mind. And that was saving Cayde.

I repositioned myself and closed my eyes, I crossed my legs, straightened my posture and breathed. Concentrated. Focused on the light in the room.

I felt the robotics light, faint and disappearing, right in front of me, and I laid my hand on his chest yet again, this time calm and not shuddering.

Cayde was too far gone, too close to death to react, and I slowly grasped the light in him, pulling at it, keeping him close and giving him the light that was within me.

At the same time, my other hand floated over his body, forming runes, and I started to feel that the ritual worked. I opened my eyes and saw, but mostly heard, how the metal plates in his face bent back into place, I on the other hand suddenly felt strong and disgustingly stinging pain in my jaw.

I gave him my light and took his injuries.

That's what saves him.

But kills me.

Eve finally realizes what I am doing and her optics change from a confused to a shocked expression, and then to a pained one, her shards loosing all her gleam and all her strenght.

Cayde's optics snapped back to life and he gasped for breath, immediately looking at me, seeing what I am doing.

I already took most of his wounds, and I felt bruises form all over my Body. But when my Hand floated over to the gazing hole in his chest where the bullet of his own gun struck him, he gripped my arm and held it incredibly tight.

'Don't...' was all he could mutter, still too weak to do anything else, and his gleaming blue eyes held so much pain in them. But it wasn't physical pain.

I started to tear up even more, and I bit my lip, forming all my strenght that was left to perform the last ritus. I thought about how the city would need him, the vanguard of hunters, far more than me, a expirable, simple warlock. And I knew, after I have done that last move, there would be no turning back. I would be doomed to die, to really die. But he would live. And that's what counted.

So I just moved my Hand over the point where the bullet sank in his metal form, his hand on my arm not able to stop me.

I wasn't ready for the searing pain that shot in my chest, and I opened my tightly shut eyes again to look at the mech's chest. The hole started to close by itself, and instead the pain in my chest got worse.

There was almost no light left in me, and I stopped the transition of life between me and Cayde, gripping at my chest with one hand and slumping down.

Blood oozed out of the fresh wound and stained my once pearl white uniform, and the dark room around me started to blur out. The sounds turned strange, and I saw the weak flickering light of Eve, who wasn't able to help me because there was no light left in all the three of us.

I was about to tip backwards and lose consciousness when a strong and hard arm wrapped around my back.

But I still only limped against it, my head falling back and my neck arching.

Then I felt a gloved hand in my neck, pulling my head upright and I winced in pain. Bright orange eyes collided with blue optics, both in pain, both troubled.

'No... foxy... dammit Ferra!'

He stopped to look up at the ceiling, his jaw slightly clenching as he suppressed to scream and cry at the same time. And even now, when hand in hand with death, I smiled and couldn't take my eyes off his beautiful face, but at the same time felt sorry to make it look so pained.

He started rocking me back and forth in his arms in a distressed and lost way, and I whispered with unexpected calmness:

'You look really old without your cape'

His optics landed down on me again, oily tears leaving his eyes as he lost control. His head sunk to my shoulder, sobs rocking his body. I lifted my hand slowly and tugged the hood of his cape over his head, pulling him closer, seeking some sort of comfort in the endless cold of death crawling towards me. I tried to comfort him with small words, to soothe him as I faded away, and my eyes fell on my gun I had left at the entrance to the room.

'Eve... my gun...'

She immediately understood my plea and swirled towards the crimson red pistol. The ghost pinched the holster of the gun and lifted it up with great effort, her flight back to my hand strongly swaying up and down.

I sighed when she dropped it in my hand, the familiar feel of it's handle comforting me.

Cayde was lost in my arms, sobbing quietly to himself, gripping me tight, so I gently tugged at the arm that was slung around my neck.

The exo slowly lifted his face from the crook of my neck and looked at the gun in my hand, chuckling low with sad tone to it when his eyes fell on his writing.

'I thought you would re-paint it...'

I tried to smile, but started coughing as the strong pain shot through my chest again.

The blue optics looked at me again, worried, pained, saddened. And when I pressed my gun in his hand, the expression got worse.

'Take good care of Eve for me... and get your gun back...'

He nodded slightly, closing his eyes and pulling me closer again, putting the gun in his empty holster.

I slung my arms around him again, listening to the soft and strong whirr of processors and vents in his body, remembering that he would live, that he would carry on.

I smiled when I felt his warmth, his presence, his entire being with me.

I felt my heart flutter, I felt it grow weaker, I felt it struggle...

The world completely darkened around me, and the last thing I heard

was the pained scream of a hunter.

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Help me I have serious trouble with sleeping since forsaken came out...

That actually was my first fanfic... and english isn't my mother tongue xD

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