#he be struggling and it's his fault)

[gardenofnoah]

cw: implied sexual trauma, panic attack, intimacy struggles

You don’t notice it happening until it’s buzzing under your skin. Loud and unavoidable, the only thing you can pay attention to is the irregular flutter of your heart and the way it seems that all the air has been vacuumed from the room—

“Hey.”

You blink, and Katsuki is no longer above you. He’s not touching you at all—you turn your head to find him next to you, propped up on an elbow and only worried.

“Too much?”

The panic flares at the question, because what if this is the last time? What if he’s tired of this?

Your exhale is shaky—your laugh is forced and sounds out of place. “No, it was fine, I just—“

“Oi—“ he says, gently, “tell me the truth.”

The truth burns your eyes and keeps them on the ceiling, away from his. You nod, helpless and resigned to whatever comes next.

“What’s goin’ on in your head?”

You feel the tears spill over before you can catch them. You swipe them away with the back of your wrist. It’s still numb. “I’m just sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin it.”

He grunts a little in acknowledgment—a displeased, ugly sound—and then there’s movement that finally draws your eyes to him. You watch him cover himself with your duvet—all the way up to his chin.

“S’it okay if I hold you?”

He reaches for you and you let him pull you in. His hands stay above your shoulders and pointedly avoid your neck—cradling your head, letting you hide in the curve of his throat. His pulse is steady and constant against your forehead—or you imagine it would be, if it wasn’t muted by the fabric.

“Nothin’ is ruined,” he murmurs against your hairline, “s’my job to keep you safe.”

Your chest shudders against the cushion of the blanket and you feel a little guilty about crying all over it but Katsuki keeps you there, tethered to him. The ringing in your ears subsides, just a little. Just enough to hear the panic in your own voice.

“I promise I want it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m sorry—“

“Hey, hey,” he shushes you, careful not to tighten his arms around your shoulders. “Nothin’ to be sorry for. S’too much today—that’s all.”

It’s quiet, then, save for your sniffling. He keeps his mouth pressed to your hair, and his arms wrapped around you. There is a noticeable absence of his fingertips tracing along your skin—you don’t feel them there at all, and it’s on purpose. He’s considerate and it makes you anxious.

“Can hear you thinkin’.”

“I just—“ you inhale, trying to be brave, “I don’t want you to leave. I know I can’t—give you this—“

“Oi,” he gruffs, a little sharply, “I don’t give a shit about that. M’not a barbarian.”

You feel the expansion of his lungs as he draws in a slow exhale, and lets it out against the crown of your head. “Don’t think so little of me,” he murmurs, tone laced with hurt.

“You’re right,” you whisper, because he is, “I love you.”

“Love you.” He kisses it into your skin, soft and barely there. “Always will.”

#i have beat this horse to hell but I really do love writing about struggles with intimacy #because ~i~ struggle with intimacy and I write for me ya know #but idk i think it would be hard for him!! he just wants to care for me and keep me safe and i have a tendency to self sabatoge. #if you can believe that. #he just wants to help and he knows that what happened before him is not his fault of course. but it upsets him when I project onto him #which is like. a very human thing? #i have been thinking about that post from the other day a lot about believing the people that love you #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou hurt comfort #bakugou comfort #bakugou fic #mha fic #bkg it’s the little things

[turtleblogatlast]

No but like every time I think about Splinter and what he had to go through just to keep the boys alive, my heart hurts for him so badly. Is he perfect? No not at all, but none of them are and by god does he love his sons.

The fact that all of them are alive, and grew to thrive despite the circumstances surrounding them is a testament of how much Splinter loves his boys. He raised four babies following the most traumatic time of his life, all alone with nothing but the sewers to house them (to hide them.) I feel like he’s not given the credit he deserves for all he’s done.

And I get that it’s easy to hold up his flaws and faults when it comes to parenting, I myself like looking into them because flawed characters are super interesting and said flaws make them more realistic and engaging, but he tries, and again, so many others would have given up on the boys or failed along the way but Splinter didn’t.

He’s their father, for all his faults he did his damndest to make sure they survived.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt splinter #rise splinter #he’s not perfect as I’ve said #and he’s got a whole slew of flaws and faults #but he’s a person - we are all flawed #he loves his sons dearly dearly dearly even if he struggles along the way to show that #parenting is not easy! especially as a traumatized mutant who is forced to do it alone #side note but I think this is one of the reasons why it kiiiiiinda ruffles my feathers to see so many people assign parentification to Raph #and in turn make Splinter out to be way worse and way more distant than he is in canon? #like idk I just don’t see what so many others see ig but maybe that’s just me #i guess my thoughts are like- let parents have flaws without villainizing them? #they’re still parents even if they mess up? #we can discuss the repercussions of a parents actions on a child while not casting that parent as an awful person #parents are peopleeee #I could go on but yeahhh #idk it bothers me seeing splinter’s efforts undermined when he’s been through so much #idk if ppl realized this by now but I love me some flawed characters #tho I do think in this fandom the ones whose faults are discussed the most are like #Splinter mostly then Draxum then Leo #of the main cast #and in Splinters case in particular his faults are made to cover his good qualities which makes me sad #because he is SO INTERESTING #they’re all flawed characters and tbh so interesting because their flaws are ALSO their strengths in many aspects

[comradekatara]

ok so the thing about sokka is. if he didn’t have a little sister, i don’t think he would’ve spared azula’s life (twice!), since he justified wanting to let zuko die because zuko was “constantly trying to kill them,” and azula came much closer to achieving that goal. but also, if sokka did not have a little sister, he would simply not be sokka.

#and maybe also because game recognize game #whereas sokka thinks zuko is a schmuck. a loser. an idiot #but yeah i think it’s actually about the little sisterism of it all #ppl talk abt zuko collecting little sisters (and he does) but he is a SHITE big brother (not his fault tbh) #whereas sokka is the most big brother to ever big brother #i think he would treat azula exactly like he treats katara except he would also explicitly make digs at her intelligence when he wants #to annoy her #he’d invent rubiks cubes just to watch her struggle to solve them #zuko would solve it by sheer luck and it would ruin azulas whole week #anyway. #sokka #azula&katara #katara&sokka #sokkaxzuko #<- it counts

[antianakin]

The constant pervasive ideas about the Jedi, that they're repressed and bad at relationships and isolated from the world and its realities and stuck in their ways, is actually just... Anakin.

Like people looked at Anakin Skywalker and assumed that because he was the protagonist that the way he acted was somehow a symptom of the Jedi's teachings or upbringing instead of just... Anakin's personality?

Anakin is repressed, more than almost literally any other character in the entire franchise. Anakin chronically refuses to really acknowledge how he's feeling and pretends he ISN'T feeling it while multiple other people might be begging him to do the opposite.

Anakin is bad at relationships, he pressures Padme into a relationship by constantly ignoring her stated boundaries and disrespecting her. He complains about his OTHER relationships to Padme and Palpatine, particularly his relationship to Obi-Wan. He's awkward and overly melodramatic, incapable of truly expressing himself in a way that isn't immediately off-putting to normal people or being able to express his more positive feelings towards someone in a way they might recognize or accept.

Anakin isolates himself from the world and its realities, refusing to see nuance anywhere, and preferring to view things from an entirely black and white perspective, particularly in order to make himself out to be the hero of any situation (the Tuskens are animals, the Separatists are evil, the Jedi are evil, etc).

Anakin is stuck in his ways. Similar to the last point, Anakin refuses to accept that any way but his own could possibly work or be worth considering. He thinks he's extra special and therefore people like Obi-Wan have literally nothing to teach him of any worth. Anakin doesn't WANT to think differently about the Separatists even when Padme tells him otherwise. Anakin does things in a certain specific way and refuses to change even if it might be better to do so.

I dare someone to try to come up with an accusation made about the Jedi's culture and lifestyle that "needs to change" that isn't literally just ANAKIN'S personality flaws projected onto the Jedi at large.

Maybe the Jedi don't need to change at all and Anakin just as an unhealthy toxic personality that even the Jedi couldn't fix.

#jedi #star wars #this goes for obi-wan SPECIFICALLY too #like everyone looks at ANAKIN'S flaws and manages to project them onto obi-wan #obi-wan doesn't actually struggle with attachments #obi-wan does not actually think he's a bad jedi #obi-wan is not actually repressed at all and seems to know and understand himself quite well #obi-wan doesn't really seem to struggle in his relationships aside from with satine a little which is like 80% her fault anyway #between anakin and obi-wan only one of them appears to have any real successful friendships #not even just among the jedi either #he's clearly friends with bail and dex as well #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical

[visenyaism]

all of the targaryens had so much doomrot packed into their brain stems like it’s just absolutely bursting through the walls in the bloodstream out of the ribcage. that being said i really think the inflection point for the specific seeing things that are not there/they are out to get me flavor of brain problems was definitely maekar

#i just feel it in my bones he had it bad #through no fault of his own obviously. but like. he has struggling with something he can’t say out loud energy #it’s the keeping a lid on everything and self isolating and being incredibly emotionally distant from all of the kids. #asoiaf

[silvyslayer42]

kuusuke as a character is 1 billion times better if you view his words here as genuine (like how i do) . the way you see these scenes is very important to how his character will read to you in my professional opinion

like 😕😕😕 he literally cares about kusuo so much. that’s his cute brother he couldn’t hate him even if he tried (and he knows because he DID try and that’s-) . he literally just wants to play around with his brother and have bonding time but he doesn’t know how to do that normally so he does it in his weird unintentionally destructive way but underlying everything is that familial love.

this post is so gibberish but yeah saiki kuusuke im your biggest fan in the whole wide universe….

#they’re literally siblings #the siblingest siblings to ever be created #kuusuke immediately becomes so much less likeable if you think he actually harbors any hatred towards kusuo #or worse if you in any way imply that he loves kusuo in any sort of perverted way (mangaka’s fault) #both of those are WRONG he simply loves his little brother that’s literally his cute baby brother #there’s something so deep and meaningful about kusuo and kuusuke’s relationship #and i struggle to put it into words but like. i care them so much 😭😭😭 #PLEASE listen to me im normal im so so normal #talking at 42 words per second #saiki k got me fucked up #saiki kuusuke #kuusuke #that blonde IDIOT #the blonde guy from saiki k #weird headband ass

[magnaflourious-nerdity]

People who excessively hate on lan xichen and paint him as some kind of villain in a quest to simplify a complex, open-ended narrative are both boring and incorrect

#its not his fault if you subscribe to moral absolutism!!! #dont push that on him #isnt that just reinforing the lan methodology we all condem so much for punishing wangji so ruthlessly #for the same crime his brother commits?!?! #ie loving someone whos fundamental understanding of the universe syands against those principles??? #the mistake of all lans!!! #tthe only problem being that xichen and jgy stand as narrative foils to the same struggles of their younger generation peers #in you know probably an effort to adress the intergenerational trauma of war and what not #so theyre doomrd from the jump!!!! #im just having dome feelings please be nice to my sons #cql #the untamed #jin guangyao #lan xichen #like yes his inaction led to tragedy!! much like lan wangji!!!!!!! #but we dont all get to start over via the magic of necromancy! #some of us have to be sacrificed to the purpose of the narrative!!!!! #sorry #im just feeling protective of my lil guy #is he free of crime?!?! no!! #but he should not be unilaterally condemned for failing in the same moral pilgramage lan wangji had to struggle with for 16+ years!!! #also for anyone wondering who lan qirens tragic love that bound him to someone fundamentally opposed to the world view he was raised under #its xichen and wangji #like its always been them #his failure is the failure 2 commit tonthat same kind of moral pilgrammage and willingness to fail inthe effort of keeping a so called peace #that worked only for the oppressive party #ok NOW im done probably

[dollsuguru]

love delving into suguru’s overthinking brain <3

#i think his paternal instinct is natural and that it affects the way he interacts sometimes (shows itself in good and bad ways) #i think it’s a genuine struggle for him in terms of nature & nurture. he wants to take care of you/fix things but doesn’t want to make you + #feel like he’s controlling you in that way… it’s a fine line i kinda wanna explore that w him #i underthink to a fault sometimes 😭 so it’s cool to write about a character who’s a constant overthinker #MIND YOU THIS IS FROM MY V-DAY WIP FIC 😭 wanted to add a lil conflict/a look into the way suguru’s brain works #still a bit messy/choppy but i’m just writing stream of consciousness rn #snippets #personal

[syncast-err0r]

arkin, waking up from a collector related nightmare: the mask stays OFF during sex

#the inconsistent lighting is not my fault tho that is between me and god #the collector #the collector 2009 #the collection #the collection 2012 #asa emory #arkin o'brien #collectkin #it's an ugly ass mask ok. he's struggling to get thru it like that #he also just really likes seeing his boyfriend's face #day 273959282 of being delusional #my art xoxo

[rolandapostatize]

cannot get over how theodore 7th time loop is written actually. 13 year old's suicidal tendencies resolved by having polite conversation with the person he loves most and whom he was doing all that for, and who has never before in his life clearly communicated with him at all, and who due to his own emotional immaturity decided that the best way to protect his desperate younger brother is to never talk to him and act as terrifying as possible around him. one unwell child eliminating another unwell child's problems, that he was contributing to, in a single conversation

like i cant get over how quickly the conflict was introduced and resolved.

#v*ncent n*ghtray is crying in my brain as i write this #not to say that that was his exact situation he just lives in my brain so that subplot reminded me of him #i just wish 7th time loop was more fucked up and better written. like arnold is gonna commit patricide in a few years #youd think thered be some atmospheric tension regarding the complete absence of his father in the plot (when we know hes right there in the #same palace) #im just imagining a version of it thats more fucked up and better written and also with less generic alternate-europe worldbuilding #generally when i fing myself wishing a story was more fucked up i do stop to consider that maybe thats my fault and im expecting it to be #something it isnt. and that fair on its own #however the writing IS bad - disregarding my own preferences #and i suppose its just that when im thinking of how it could be better my preferences affect my ideas #however if i WAS well written - just not to my tastes - my brain would not be complaining about it #also the economics in this show are so nothing. like again no effort put in. i struggle with understanding money related concepts #all the time but even i can see that

[filibusterphil]

Okay not to defend the hot irredeemable murderer but it is real funny Juliette is out here thinking that Elinor killed Theo to ruin her relationship. I’m sorry babe not everything is about your doomed Shakespearean love. Sometimes your sister wants to hook up with a hot hunter too and then his brother shows up and she thinks she’s been set up so she pisses off both of them and they try and kill her and so she moves out of the way and lets one brother kill the other then wipes his memory so she won’t get blamed or be roped into the mess that will inevitably come from getting a hunter killed.

#first kill #elinor fairmont #look I know she is irredeemably evil or whatever #and a full trophy taking serial killer #but I just think that maybe hot fictional people can have that as a treat #as much as I loved the lesbians #Elinor and Talia were real standouts for me #anyway #this situation really truly got out of hand but I don’t think it’s Elinor’s fault #a lack of intent all around #Theo was struggling with his visions and needed answers and pushed too hard #Apollo was struggling with constantly being told he was not measuring up #so being called stupid by the girl he had just almost successfully seduced and schmoozed for info #pushed him over the edge #and ya girl is a psychopath so as soon as something isn’t going her way #she kinda seems to go for max pain and casualties #and well she’s very good at what she does #but she didn’t walk into that bar thinking wow I hope my sister’s girlfriend’s brothers show up so I can kill one #and break up my sister’s relationship #not even she is that ridiculously manipulative

[charmac]

x

#gonna go on a parasocial rant for a man i barely care about bc thats where i am #but honestly its actually a little heartbreaking #when you think about the fact that rob #who we know struggled in school and with behavioural issues #was a neurodivergent kid who had no idea what that even was #no resources or labels to help him #is now an adult figuring this all out #and seeing #holy shit this sports team i grew up with and love knows about this too #and theyre doing all of this #like do you realise he was a kid in the 80s with no knowledge of any of this #used sports as an outlet and to bond with his dad #probably imagining if this foundation had existed when he was a kid what that could have done for him #and i now have the money and ability to support this all #so hes donating and posting to raise awareness and encourage support #and he's spending time and money with his soccer team in wales to do this same thing #so neurodivergent kids who love sports are growing up with what he didnt have #and their parents are able to recognise and understand what his couldn't (no fault of their own) #im sorry but youre a very blindly heartless person to think that doesnt matter because rob is NOW rich #why are we acting like hes elon fucking musk #he came from nothing you ALL KNOW HOW SUNNY STARTED!? #yes hes stupid spending his money on nfts and the metaverse #can you not see hes fucking growing... and learning. like. probably through his own kids.... #i dont even care if you dont care #i dont think it matters at all but adamantly shitting on him to his (social media) face is so beyond loser behaviour #holy fucking christ most of twitter now has clearly been educated in the tiktok school of anti capitalism #that they think the moment someone breaks 1mm they lose their history and soul #rob is a centrist he posts copganda he owns a gun and is proud of it but youre biggest issue with him is he won at capitalism? #via doing something not only he loves but YOU love? and have a whole account dedicated to?????? #everyone in his quotes is britta perry from community

[mxtxfanatic]

So I follow the mdzs subreddit, perhaps cuz i like torturing myself (that place is filled with jc and jgy stans), recently there have been a few more people in it with actual reading comprehension tho which is nice.

But to the point, in the last few days there have been quite a bit of posts by jgy stans whining about “why do people hate on jgy so much, when other characters also committed crimes like wwx” and “jgy only killed nmj out of self defense because the man was always trying to kill him so it’s justified” oh and the best one “actually jgy is too compassionate, he didn’t kill qin su or sisi and his life would have been so much easier if he had”

So Jin Guangyao killed Nie Mingjue, ok we can give him that one. Was killing all those sex workers he used to rape his father justified? Was burning the sex workers alive in the brothel justified? Was killing the He Clan justified? He takes credit for killing Qin Su by purposely waving a knife in her face that amplifies negative emotions and also permanently traps the souls of its victims after she refused to accept that he knowingly pursued an incestuous relationship with her, was that justified? Was killing Jin Rusong justified? Imprisoning Sisi for life in the darkest corner of the Koi Tower dungeons, was that justified simply because he didn’t kill her?

And I know folks like to stan the rich and powerful, but hurting a rich person’s feelings or challenging their authority doesn’t count as a crime. Wei Wuxian did nothing wrong.

#mdzs asks #anon #and no jgy COULDN’T just kill qin su before #are they stupid? #jgy STRUGGLED for approval for that marriage and the alliance it brought to him #qin su was the apple of her parents’ eyes #particularly her father’s! #if ANYTHING had happened to that girl during that marriage #jgy’s fault or not #that would’ve thrown all his hard work to get the qin clan on his side in the toilet #like he didn’t kill qin su because in his mind incest was better than being judged #power was more important than not marrying his sister #which is why he chose to just kill their child instead

[ectonurites]

ZACH TAYLOR & DARYL HARPER | HOLY GHOST BY MODERN BASEBALL

#my zach & mobo agenda strikes again #super dark times #zach taylor #daryl harper #charlie and josh are there briefly but. this is largely abt The Dream #sam edits #tw blood #tw stabbing #or well. pulling the blade out after a stabbing #also to ramble a sec bc i think using the ‘third wish has always been three more’ bit with the flashbacks may be confusing #using ‘a third wish to wish for three more’ feels like a plea for more chances to change things—smthn about #regretting the choices you made and wanting the opportunity to make better choices or #fix the previous ones. like… it feels like a line about hindsight/regret/wasted opportunity & chances #which to then apply that to Zach here—that is certainly the sort of stuff plauging his #subconscious in relation to how he handled the Daryl situation. even though awake!Zach is #obviously struggling to deal with The Guilt/the role he played in things (see: my post about #’blood on hands’ from the other night) his dream here literally SHOWS that this situation #with Daryl is crushing him (see: Daryl sitting on top of him) and a part of him KNOWS that #he is partially at fault (see: the copious blood all over him but the FOCUS on it on his hands) #+ the idea im getting at is: he not only wishes things could’ve gone differently but that HE could’ve DONE things differently

[lobotomyladylives]

people often assume when we all go out together that I'm my half brothers mom (I'm 20 years older than him) & that his parents are his grandparents & it's so funny bc I know it bothers them. old ass idiots

#my dad was 49 & his wife was 45 when they had him #the story behind his birth is actually extremely fucked up like everything else about their relationship #so my dad left her like a million times to try to go back to my mom (who kept telling him no unless he sorted out his issues) then he #would always run right back to her & she always took him back. anyways i guess he said smth along the lines of #''my wife (he was still married to my mom) will always be the love of my life bc shes the mother of my kids'' #and...she went off bc & on fertility treatments without telling him. then shes pregnant & he is still saying he wants to come back to us #so she said he will never see their kid & her son from a previous marraige THREATENED MY DAD AT GUNPOINT #and said if you ever leave my mom again ill fucking kill yoi #so then the divorce was finalized & they got married & my half brother was born. rest is history #for the record i dont feel sorry for my dad at all it was his fault too. the fucking hypocrite was having sex before marriage #and he knew she was nuts & far too attached to her #what a fucking idiot. all he had to do was get on meds & in therapy & admit he was wrong & he could have stayed with us #but he needed constant validation & to be in charge of everything & thats what his new wife gives him. she converted to his cult & now they #raise my brother in it. and she just does whatever my dad wants & lets him treat her like shit. i would actually feel sorry for her if sh #if she werent such a fucking awful person. and she tries to be all nicey nice w/us despite being a literal homewrecker. #and doing things like telling my dad he cant spend more than 50 dollars per year on each of us #while having him buy her a third car & a 1500 dollar fur coat. lol #theyre so much better off financially than us that its unreal. my mom doesnt get a penny despite how much we are struggling #but if i want a relationship with my half brother i just have to pretend none of this is weird or wrong. #anyways i just hope he never finds out the circumstances of his birth bc god can you fucking imagine

[theloveinc]

This may be an unpopular opinion about Todoroki but I feel like if you were dating and you didn’t want him to come over to your home because it’s not extravagant and maybe not the cleanest he’d be like the last person to judge you for it

GODDDDDDDD YEAHHHH, this is such an interesting take🧐🧐🧐 because like on one hand, he comes from money which makes it even harder to wanna open up in That Way to him, but then... he's so far from like noticing anything being wrong so long as you're happy that it's so relieving when you finally get to the point of like .. "okay u can come in sorry it's not much / messy blah blah" 🥺... ik he just sits down on your bed and is honestly happy to be there after weeks/months of outdoors dates that he couldn't care less abt the look of things.

(plus if u do wanna clean or organize or renovated he's SO prepared to help. buys all the supplies needed and any new furniture if you want it and it's like... PLEASE U DON'T HAVE TO !! GO AWAY !!! and he literally refuses to take no for an answer....

has this man ever picked up a sponge in his life? put together a piece of furniture? NO, but for he's gonna make it happen...)

also lmfao he's so sick of you acting like you can't touch anything in his OWN house. You know when you go to those extremely, neat richie people houses and it feels bad just sitting on their couch? Sho is truly like .... knocking stuff over just show you that it's okay.

you spill a drop of wine on the carpet and look like you're about to cry and he's tipping his whole glass over to just make you feel better !!!! and truly going ? huh ? when you scream

#todoroki #and if its ur parents/roommates fault he's just like. ok so move in with me hello? #and then you're like HELLO? too and he's like “hi.” #lmfaooooo he is so dajfsdfdahfkjdhfkj #kiri is also my messy house comfort character #my poor boy projection like i know he has struggle meals and a ymca membership still #or the equivalent you know #anyway REEEEEEE todoroki x you = best adhd / autism couple hands down #hehehe ty anon for this! #caitie things #gen