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norabrice1701 · 1 year

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Falling - Pt. II

A Sam Neill!Vasily Borodin (The Hunt for Red October) x Fem!Reader Fic

Mini-Series Main List

Pt. II Warnings: Misogynistic, controlling and abusive behavior towards the reader; self-worth issues; pregnancy and infertility topics; lost love and associated heartache

Vasily must have made the right connections that night. It’s the only explanation that you can find why he, among Ramius and a few other officers, are present at so many high party official events over the coming months. And without even trying, you pick Vasily out of the crowd every time.

You glimpse the strong line of his shoulders beneath the crisp uniform. You hear his easy, elegant tones. You connect with those sharp, clear eyes that always pierce you through the heart.

If Mikhail notices, he says nothing as he works the room and keeps you in tow. But a hushed conversation finds you with a rare moment of peace, and you take a sip from your champagne flute. As you lower the glass, glancing around at the evening finery that surrounds you, your breath catches as Vasily melts out of the crowd at your side.

He nods in silent greeting, but his eyes hold a fond warmth that neither of you could vocalize in the current setting. Tender memories stir in your chest, along with your long-held admiration for his quietly pensive nature. You tighten your grip on the champagne flute as you search for something to say. “I’m glad to see that you’ve done so well in the submarine fleet. You said it was what you most wanted to achieve in the service, and now,” an edge of pride curls the corner of your mouth. “Now, you’ve done it.”

His expression tempers with modesty. “I’m hardly at the pinnacle of my career goals, but I am well positioned.”

“As a captain, do you command your own vessel?”

He nods gently. “The posts come from high command, and yes, I have been fortunate to command several over the years. My current post, however, has me as Ramius’ Executive Officer.”

You return the nod. “I don’t know exactly what that means, but it does sound important.” Pausing, you dart a quick glance up, glimpsing your husband still occupied in conversation, before you turn back. “How long until you go to sea again?”

“We’re told a couple of more months yet.” The corner of his mouth tightens with veiled frustration. “All new vessels take time to outfit, and the Red October is no exception. While the delay is… unfortunate, the captain, myself and other key officers are fortunate to oversee her final appointments.”

“The Red October.” You echo with approval. “It sounds like she will be the grandest ship in our fleet.”

“That is certainly the expectation.” His eyes twinkle with sly excitement, and you can’t help but marvel at him.

“Are you not concerned, though? Or frightened even just the slightest bit?” You hear yourself ask. “The newest ship - as of yet untested on her maiden voyage. Are you not worried about something not working? Or the reactor failing?” The news coverage about the Chernobyl reactor explosion still haunts your nightmares, and the thought of Vasily trapped in a steel tube underwater with all that destructive power sends a chill through you.

His gaze warms with a calm, reassuring edge. “No, I am not concerned. We have the finest engineers and the finest craftsmen. The Red October will be our fleet’s most advanced achievement, and we will prove that to the world.”

Affection stirs in your chest and your heart warms with long dormant feelings. “You…” your voice trails off with a breathy sigh of admiration. “You are so brave to do what you do. You always have been.” Heat dances high on your cheeks as you give a gentle shake of your head. “Braver than I could ever hope to be -”

“You need never doubt your own bravery.” His voice sharpens with a firm edge before he scans the room in a quick, assessing survey. “You attend countless functions like this with a husband who doesn't respect you, and yet you still hold your head high. Every night, every time.”

Your throat tightens as his words shock you. They’re so bold, so inappropriate and so… overwhelming. Your strength threatens to fail and all at once, you want to dissolve against his chest, to melt in his arms. To remember the scent of his skin and the cadence of his impassioned breathing. Everything you’ve ever felt for him rushes back like a tidal wave, and you quickly drop your gaze to your champagne glass, hoping that he can’t see the conflicted torrent inside you.

Slowly you shake your head, fumbling for words. “I, it’s not… it’s not quite like that.”

“Then, I suppose we shall have to disagree.” His voice carries gently, imploring you to look back up at him. “It would be easy to lose your way among all of the superficial drivel that happens here, but you remain just as true to yourself as when we last met. And that’s a strength of character that few possess.”

You force a hard swallow down your throat, wanting to say so many things. So many things that no one should overhear. So many things that your wedding band forbids. So many things that you should have said all those years ago. Taking a deep breath, you try to compose yourself. “Vasily, that’s… thank you. But I’m alright.”

His eyes narrow with skepticism even as he gently nods. “I am glad to hear that. Otherwise, I might have to punch your husband.”

Your eyebrows climb to your hairline. “You wouldn’t dare. He’s - Mikhail is not a bad sort, and he doesn’t mistreat me. Marriage comes with certain expectations, and ours… well, hasn’t met those expectations.”

“So he is keen to tell everyone, as I understand it.” He says with carefully guarded reproach. “The intimate business of family need never be wielded as a political tool.”

An embarrassed flush heats your cheeks at the thought of gossip reaching him. What do the other political wives say about you behind your back? Do they call you a failure of a wife? Do they deem you unworthy to wear your husband’s last name without bearing him children? You dig a nail into the glass of the champagne flute as you try to steady your raging thoughts. “My apologies for not asking sooner,” you say, hoping your voice isn’t too uneven. “But do you have a wife and family?”

His mouth pinches to a thin, modest line and a startling blush dances high on his cheeks. It de-ages him by at least decade, back to the young man of your memories. “Not as of yet.” He answers gently. “I spend more time at sea than I do on land, and that can have its drawbacks.”

Sadness creeps to the lines of your face. How could that possibly be a fulfilling life? If his only respite from the cold, harsh sea is his cold, empty bed, then… does that satisfy him? It’s an intensely personal question, but it gnaws at you all the same despite the setting. “And are you…” you pause to take a fortifying breath. “Are you happy?”

Despite the busy sidewalk, you’d recognize those hawkish blue-eyes and the closed-mouth, crooked smile anywhere. It was the smile that he reserved only for you, and your heart warmed as you approached him on the puddle-ridden sidewalk.

“Ugh,” you groaned even as you summoned a smile for him. “Thank you for waiting, though you didn’t have to stand out here.” You casted a quick glance up at the heavy rain clouds that have loomed all day.

“I’m a sailor,” he quipped, arching a teasing brow. “Water doesn’t bother me.”

You shook your head through a soft laugh as you leaned in to meet him for a hug. For the past four weeks, you had been seeing Vasily Borodin, and you hoped – you thought maybe it will be soon that he kissed you. It was almost odd – certainly old fashioned but you found it strangely quite endearing. You’d never met another man like him, and that suited you just fine.

His arms came around you with tender strength, squeezing with fond affection as you embraced him for the space of a breath. It was rare that you got to see him out of his uniform, but he always managed to look effortlessly good, and the fabric of his jacket felt soft under your fingertips. Your nose brushed his neck as you both pulled back, eyes meeting as your breathing hitched and… will this be it? His gaze dropped down to your lips and desire flashed in his eyes before he quickly broke away to glance around the grey, damp street.

Your heart fell with disappointment – but for everything you knew about Vasily, he was just romantic enough that your first kiss wouldn’t be on some busy, rain-soaked sidewalk. The thought buoyed your mood, helped further when his hand found yours and you joined the queue for the ticket counter.

“How did the evaluation go?” You asked, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“It went as expected – plenty of calisthenics, a good dose of cardio. These physical fitness evaluations are required every six months or so, and the only thing that differs is which station you’re assigned to first.”

Your gaze raked up and down his trim, lean form. The strength of his muscles had been obvious in your fleeting embraces and even rarer glimpses of his forearms despite how well his clothing disguised it. It only made your blood heat to think of pulling him back to your dormitory room and discovering the dips and slopes of his muscles for yourself.

Heat flushed your cheeks, and you hoped that he couldn’t read the direction of your thoughts as your gazes reconnect. “Well, I’m sure that you still did great. Top of the class, hmm?”

Despite the humble slant of his mouth, he didn’t quite hide the pride in his eyes as the queue advanced. “Close enough. Though, it’s more of a comparison between your marks and the national guidelines, than it is a direct competition between fellow officers.”

You arched an incredulous brow with a teasing laugh, taking another step forward. “You really expect me to believe that a group of super-ambitious young officers aren’t measuring their stats against each other? Aren’t you all wanting to outdo the other for the highest ranking commands?”

That endearing flush returned to his cheeks even as his eyes turned sly. “It takes far more than just physical prowess to rise to the higher ranks and captain a vessel.”

“At those ranks, you would think they’d value command acumen far more than physical fitness.”

He gave your hand a fond squeeze as the last patron finished up at the window. “Some of those hatches are a half-meter wide. You may have all the qualities of a natural born leader, but if you can’t squeeze through that opening, you’ll never get onboard.”

A shiver crawled down your spine at the thought as he let go of your hand and stepped up to the ticket counter. You couldn’t imagine what it must be like to live in such close, cramped conditions under the water for months at a time. Despite the open air, phantom claustrophobia quickened your breathing, and you quickly shook the thought away. The last thing you wanted to do tonight was ruin your date.

With tickets in hand, you stayed at his side through the cinema hallways and settled into the numbered seats. The opening reels already ran the upcoming looks at new films and you glanced around, taking in the sparse attendance. A private grin teased your face as it felt more like a private screening for you and Vasily than a public outing when the lights went down.

As the film began to play, you slid your hand over in the darkness, seeking out his. Your palm connected with his and he spread his fingers to interlock with yours. Contented warmth grew in your chest as his thumb stroked your skin and you watched the events unfold on-screen.

Or, well… tried to watch. You couldn’t stop stealing little glances over at him. The flickering light danced so handsomely on his refined profile, catching his perpetually neat hair. What would it be to ruffle it between your fingers? To glimpse it first thing in the morning, all sleep worn and pillow mussed?

All at once, you realized that he, too, had turned towards you with the film all but forgotten. His eyes roamed over the curves of your face with open appreciation and affection. Your heart skipped a beat and you squeezed his fingers, hoping it conveyed the encouragement that you couldn’t vocalize. Anticipation sang in your blood as his gaze lingered on the shape of your mouth for an impossibly long moment.

A private grin relaxed his face before he glanced down at your conjoined hands. With a gentle squeeze, he raised your hands and slid his gaze back to yours. His eyes burned through you as he pressed a slow, tender kiss to the back of your hand. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as your skin tingled, and your breathing quickened.

You leaned forward without thinking, bringing your other hand to cup his cheek. A trembling breath left you as he drew close in the cinema’s shadows, and your lips finally touched. The firm, delicious pressure and slightly dry texture of his kiss shot sparks down your spine that curled your toes. Your mouth curved to a giddy smile against his as you both exhaled with audible, excited relief. His hand raised to cup yours that still rested against his cheek, and as he kissed you again, your heart soared from unbridled happiness.

The delightful memory surfaces as you watch his bright eyes cloud over with distant memories of his own. Regret and heartbreak temper the lines of his face as he regards you with too many other emotions to name. Anticipation constricts your chest as you wait on baited breath. There’s no other answer that you want in the universe, and as he dips his head, wetting his top lip, you want nothing more than to reach out for his hand.

“Ah, there you are.” Mikhail’s voice cuts between you, and you gasp as you look over at him. Carefully concealed irritation darkens his brow as he looks suspiciously between you and Vasily. “My apologies, Captain. It seems that my wife cannot understand the concept of monopolizing someone’s time at an event like this.”

Vasily’s face hardens with a look that must make enlisted men quake in their boots. “Your wife is not the one in breach of etiquette here, Comrade. You might consider refraining from making such assumptions in the future.”

“With all due respect, Captain,” Mikhail’s tone sharpens with indignation as he spits out the rank like an insult. “I will take my considerations from elsewhere and conduct my marriage as I see fit.” He wraps a hand around your arm, squeezing with unmistakable insistence. “Come along, my dear. There are too many other people here this evening worth speaking to, and you’ve already set me behind schedule.”

Mini-Series Main List

#sam neill #the hunt for red october #the hunt for red october fic #captain vasily borodin #vasily x you #vasily x reader #sam neill x you #sam neill x reader

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argyrocratie · 2 years

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“Without connections, without means, alone with my ideas, lost in the middle of a foreign crowd, I had only one companion: faith; and I said to myself that faith moves mountains, overcomes the insurmountable, creates the impossible, destroys obstacles; that faith alone is already half the success, half the victory; joined to a strong will, it gives birth to circumstances, arouses men, gathers, unites, fuses the masses into a single soul and a single force; I said to myself that, believing myself in the Russian revolution, leading others to believe it too, persuading the Europeans and particularly the Slavs of it, finally persuading the Russians themselves, was to make possible and even inevitable the revolution in Russia. In a word, I wanted to believe, I wanted to make others believe. This lying, artificial, forced faith, I did not acquire it without effort, without painful struggles; how many times, in the hours of isolation, heart-rending doubts took hold of me, doubts in the morality and in the possibility of my enterprise; how many times have I heard the reproaches of the inner voice, how many times have I repeated to myself the words addressed to the apostle Paul, when he was still called Saul: “It is hard to kick against the sting” , but it was in vain, I stifled within me the voice of conscience and I dismissed my doubts as unworthy.”

-from Mikhail Bakunin’s “Confession” to the Tzar Nicholas I (1851)

#thinking of linking that with stirner on thruth and moral #Mikhail Bakunin

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freeseafirefly · 3 years

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A lot of thoughts are eating at my brain... The Final Stroke RH spoilers!

Wondering about the possible resolution of the RH fight, i can't help but think we are being led the "adults must make rational decisions and it's ok" route, where at the end it's Haru who will have to accept Rin's choice and at the same time find his own motivation to swim that isn't Rin (or at least, isn't swimming with Rin on the same event.) It is too sad to think about, because competing in free has always been the most RH thing, they originate from it, that incomparable fire only they could ignite in each other has always been the essence of their relationship, and to accept that they can't have it anymore? Rin says it wasn't an easy decision, Haru denies "you always decides things lightly" and accuses him in running away, in choosing the easier option since there is no Albert in fly. They both are right and wrong in their selfishness in their own way, and for Rin this decision is indeed rational--going for a more realistic way to secure his position in the pro world, but. Rational adult decisions often mean giving up on something bigger, like your dream and passion. And ironically, it's not Haru who follows Azuma's advice to sacrifice smth first, it is Rin. Following Mikhail's advice. Which turns out to be the same, and that was really unexpected, given how he seemed to oppose Azuma's ideas. But in the essense, Rin's decision to sacrifice free, to sacrifice them in order to become stronger, is the same "you can't win if you don't throw something away." Only Rin believes that " them " means them both swimming as pro, swimming for the National team, sharing the dream and the future in a larger sense, whereas for Haru...it's not enough. He feels betrayed and abandoned again. His outbreak just confirms that this is how he felt all the previous times, suppressing his feelings either for being scared of them or believing that Rin must be free. (Continue under the cut)

So, the ultimate question, will Rin's decision be proved right or wrong? Because on the other side of rationality, there is the heart and soul of the sport, and what can RH do if they ARE the embodiment of that for each other? Is it their weakness or their strength? This codependency. Probably both. Quoting Rin, "our relationship can't be sumed up in such simple terms", and indeed, they as much motivated each other along the way as they caused each other's setbacks, with so many strong emotions tangled up that one indeed might think it'd be healthier for them to try and find a way in pro that isn't as dependent of each other. "If you're not there, swimming ahead of me, i have nothing to aim at" by Rin always kind of hinted at that, that they would have to address it at some point, and although Haru didn't explicitly stated it, it had always been the same for him. Competitive swimming always meant Rin for him, he couldn't do it without him on his mind, as his guiding light even when they were apart. So, i LOVE the new movie for actually going there and digging right into the core of RH conflict instead of inventing some artificial challenge. Gosh, i even wrote about the same thing in my RH fanfiction (my native language one), posing the same question--is their codependency their strength or their weekness? Being that guiding light for each other, how can they evolve or regress when they're forced to? Rin fails to qualify there as well, it even has the similar angsting in the shower scene, that's also why I'm wheezing because who knew they would actually go there?? I also like how this problem is addressed in In pursuit of Olympic dreams by ladyzeia, but fics have the privilege of bringing their relationship on a different level while i doubt the canon will dare go that way.

Ok, back to the point. Even though rational and mature, I strongly dislike the idea of Rin throwing free away, for a few reasons. It will mean the RinHaru as we know and love them will be destroyed. And i can't even call it evolution (not unless KA somehow manages to do it in a veeery convincing way that won't leave me any doubts that they are happy like that.) Their unique, inspiring and precious relationship getting dismissed as something immature, something they must grow out of, i just can't stand this thought. But then again, i can't help but think about MakoHaru situation from S2, where they had to separate and go different ways as a part of a natural growing up process, and Haru took it bad at first as well. Yet there and then, it felt right, their future paths had to be different, after all, and they had to take a step on their own. I can't tell if it is the same with RinHaru now. I need to actually see the movie, to feel it, it's hard to choose the side rn.

I also hate the idea of Rin giving up on free because i hate when Rin gives up. Like, since S1. (Maybe only Haru hates it more lol.) I get that he isn't a genius of Haru level, yet he's pretty damn good, and their close times speak for themselves.

So, what i think could be a compromise solution is Rin focusing on fly for the next tournament, grabbing that sponsor contract, while in the meantime Haru goes through the process of finding his own motivation, and not the desperate one "I'm scared of losing i must beat Albert before i turn 20", but a positive one, something to do with loving the competition, reconnecting with water and the nakama spirit to complete it all, maybe digging up that time capsule which probably contains those recorded messages from the beginning scene? So, what i mean is a temporary separation to figure things out, and then reunion. Rin picking up free again once he's more confident in where he stands. Haru enjoying what he does, free of his fears and assured he won't break even if he's alone. And then...no longer being alone. Please, KA. This boy has suffered enough. Let him have his Rin at last, in whatever way they both want it. Please.

So, what do you guys think? Is Haru being selfish here, kinda pulling the S1!Rin's "you must swim for me!", or is it Rin who's wrong, cutting away something that inspired him so much and connected them together? Could he do both strokes and succeed, say, if he actually swam with Haru on one team, every day, drawing out each other's full potential? And if he sticks to his decision, after all, what should they do to save their bond? Will swimming relay together be enough?

We still have that S2 ending scene with them both competing in Rome in the same event, in the adjacent lanes, though. Unless they retcon it, or unless Haru swims fly, it is them swimming free together in the future.

#free! the final stroke #fs spoiler #SPOILERS #rinharu #harurin #free!#sea rants

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alphabravocharliedelta · 3 years

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Therefore I Am | Russell Adler x Bell!Reader II

Series: Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War

Therefore I Am | Russell Adler x Bell!Reader

Chapter II

Word Count: 3400+

[Chapter I] [Chapter III]

Summary: [Y/N] “Bell” [L/N] was content with dying. Shot by the person whom they admired and left to die, the world was now left in the hands of the team they once thought as family. However, it seems that fate had other plans in mind…

Content Warning: mature content, gore, vulgar language, blood, injuries

Notes: Thank you so much for your comments on the previous chapters! I can’t respond to them but reading them is very heartwarming. This chapter’s a bit short, and if your wondering as to why I chose a certain character over the other, it’s just of preference. Besides, they need more appreciation :)

[Y/N] “Bell” [L/N]

July, 1983

North-West, Soviet Union

The weeks passed without anything new. The weeks eventually turned to a month.

It was during July 1983 that everything changed.

4th of July, actually.

Even if rations were running low, you all managed to pull through eating crackers and pulling eggs from nests. There were a few starving nights, but efforts would often be rewarded through some animal caught in one of the traps.

Today, everything started off as normal. It was usually dark out when you woke up, so you had the daily program of watching the sun rise as you did laps. You engaged in your daily routine of exercise, before spending some time alone at the makeshift practice range. Majority of the time you lay on the ground, staring at the bluish white sky above while trying to wind down from your work out. The snow has long stopped, humidity starting to move in.

Afterwards you walked around the facility until Vadim requested you to check the animal traps on the west side of the base. No strange activity like usual, and the traps were either bare or activated, but with nothing inside. The wildlife around were beginning to play it safe and smart— The bait was always missing now. You covered them with a bunch of twigs and old leaves, making sure it was obvious enough for the group to notice.

You returned to see Artyom working on his new weapon: a bow. He managed to find some old logs previously, in which he spent the next few weeks hacking at it and carving it into shape. It was nearly finished now.

"Nice craftmanship," you remark. The bow was fairly nice and sleek, a light yellowish tan with brown streaks. It was a bit shiny too, which you could only assume he polished with some oil.

"I used to help do woodwork with my wife before the war started," Artyom describes. "Making tables and furniture."

“That so?”

“Yeah. Good business. Handcrafted and original design, you won’t find it elsewhere.”

Vadim strides in mid-conversation, holding a large hare by the ears. A rifle hung over his shoulder. "Got a big one!" he exclaims proudly.

If there was one thing about the seasons changing, at least it brought some more animals around. Even if the animals were getting smarter, there would be at least one unfortunate soul that would be caught.

Vadim headed over to the kitchen area to prepare it for cooking. You watched Artyom test the strength of his bow by pulling the string back, and making any adjustments.

Having nothing else to do, went over to the computer that sat in the corner of the room. It was dingy and yellowing with age already, most likely one of the earlier models that was released. It was surprising to learn that it was still connected to the database, all info easily accessible to you with just a tap of a few keys. The password was no problem for you, as some forgetful person decided to write an obvious hint on a yellow post-it.

The terminal mainly consisted of daily updates, a few logs written by Anton himself. The logs went all the way back, more than a year ago. It was a tad boring, as it mainly talked about the same topic: mission reports, suspicious activity, intercepted communications. Reading through it only reminded you of the time you went to Ukraine with Woods, only to discover about Operation Greenlight. Then it went all downhill from there.

The recorded conversation between Black and Hudson was here as well. Hearing how easily they spoke about it, despite literally placing bombs around Europe as a defensive mechanism was astonishing. You skimmed through other calls, much of them not really catching your attention.

If there was one thing that you didn’t like about this lifestyle currently, it was the days were mundane. You couldn’t even comprehend that you lived at an abandoned base for two years. Even if you wanted to take a joy ride around, any modes of transportation were destroyed when the base was attacked, and there was no way of salvaging any parts.

0000

Night time eventually came after spending your time breezing through the database. Dinner was small, and it would probably be another day or two before any of you could eat again in order to ration. You stared at the ceiling of your white room, following the grooves with your eyes until the lights were shut off. Diverting your attention elsewhere, you started listening to the noise of water dripping from outside the hallway and counted each drop, hoping to lull yourself to sleep.

You were about to hit the two-hundred mark but a loud crash made you lose count.

Shooting up from bed, you sat in the darkness waiting for any other noise to follow up.

It’s probably nothing.

That's what you told yourself, and yet there was an unsettling feeling that you couldn't shake. Your instincts were telling you to get off your ass and investigate it. But you were out in the middle of nowhere at an old, barely operable military base with four Soviets. No one came then, so what are the chances they would come now?

For fucks sake...!

You stood up, running your hand against the wall. You felt around until you found your knife and flashlight. Flicking it on, a bright beam came from the end of it, temporarily blinding you.

Letting your eyes adjust, you decided against getting suited up and left the room. The beams of your flashlight stretched until the end of the highway, dust particles floating around. Whatever made the noise wasn't nearby. If it was an animal, and you highly doubted it, it would have left by now.

Rounding the corner there was no one, and the walk to the meeting hall was dead silent. Mikhail and them must have heard the noise as well unless they were heavy sleepers. So where were they?

You went to flick on the lights, only to remember that it was past eleven. Everything else was running fine.

"Guys?" you called out in a hushed tone.

Hearing no response, you didn't linger any longer than you needed to. Shining the light into every passing room didn't reveal anything either, and everyone else had yet to make their entrance. It was probably safe to assume that they were well asleep by now and slept through the noise. But now that you were up, you couldn't fall asleep easily without knowing what caused the noise.

The base was rather big, and would take more than three hours to go through every room. Storage, cafeteria, the main terminal…

You were about to call the quits until you crashed into someone as you turned the corner. The flashlight fell to the floor, and you dived to get it.

“Fucking bastard–”

“Vadim?”

“Quiet!”

Vadim grabs your shoulders, shuffling you back into the direction you came from. You aimed your flashlight at him, and saw that he was clutching at his side, blood seeping through his fingers. He leaned against the wall, trying to keep himself up but struggling to do so.

“Shit, what happened?!”

Unable to stand up any longer, he slipped onto the floor with his back to the wall before he could answer your question. In a rush, you set the flashlight down, ripped off the bottom part of your shirt and placed it over his wound while applying pressure. The warmth of blood quickly seeped through; it was deep. It was only then that you realized that he had way more lacerations than you initially thought: one in the shoulder, leg, and arm. How he even managed to get away, you didn’t even know.

"They came back to clean up their mess," Vadim croaks. You looked up at him and already saw his eyes were beginning to lose the life in them. He already lost too much blood. "They, they got Artyom… We tried to get to the escape route, but they cut us off... I don’t even know what Mikhail was even thinking–"

The sound of distant footsteps echoed from down the corridor.

Vadim grabs your arm. “You need to go.”

Uncertainty raced through your mind. The footsteps were getting closer. “I can’t just–”

“You need to go!” he repeats, mustering up any strength to push you away. “Don’t waste your time on me!”

You gulped, seeing the desperation on his face. He was clinging to life, using his final bated breaths to tell you this, and in the end, there was nothing else left for you to do.

“Thank you... for everything.”

Taking a final look at Vadim, you decided to follow his wishes, and left him. You could hear him cock back a pistol behind you, yelling cuss words and calling out to the intruders.

It was probably best to better arm yourself with something other than a knife, so you made your way to the armory. Though it was quite the distance, you luckily didn't encounter anyone on the way there. The sounds of gunfire would echo out occasionally, and you hoped that everyone was alright.

Before you could turn the corner of the hallway leading to the armory, something flashed just right at the edge of your peripherals. Glancing, you saw a tiny red dot dancing along the floor and walls.

Shit!

You flicked off your flashlight.

There were two of them.

To make things worse, they weren't talking. No communication between them whatsoever. It was dead quiet and you could hear your heart beating in your ears. Whoever they were, they were professionals. Or maybe they were dumb. You hoped it was the latter.

Without a weapon, you had no chance of winning. Sure, you had a knife, but against two? It was possible if they were slow to respond, though you highly doubted it. You had to separate them.

Tracing back your steps you decided to head to the control room.

It was circular in shape. The terminals inside followed the shape of the room, curving around the center floor. They were on standby, light brown next blinking repeatedly, just waiting for a password.

Keeping a low profile, you searched around for something distracting. There was a little panel on the wall, and on it was a giant red button. A glass pane covered it.

Well damn.

Biting your lip, you winded up your fist and twisted your body. You took a deep breath before letting your waist unwind itself. Your knuckles met the glass, the shards digging into your skin as the button sunk onto itself.

"Fuck!" you couldn't help but yell, pulling your hand out as red began to trail down your arm.

Sirens began to go off, lights beginning to flash. The screens around you began to blink rapidly with the words "emergency" in Russian. An irritable sound of high pitched wailing came from above as bright neon red covered the room.

While things weren't going to plan, at least their attention was drawn to you instead of Mikhail, Artyom, and Anton.

As a matter of fact, where were they?

You didn’t even have time to think as a sudden spray of bullets came, shattering the glass windows. Ducking for cover, your breath hitched as you heard the door get kicked open.

With the loud siren masking their footsteps, and only a knife to your name, you were trapped.

Taking a peep around the corner, you could see two armed large figures situating themselves deeper in the room, parting and circling around the terminals. You couldn't make out their faces very well.

At least there were two– you could handle them. Maybe take one as a body shield, threaten to cut their throat.

There was a faint sheen of red on your left, and you found a pair of boots right next to your hand. Before they could even react, you sprung up violently and threw yourself at them.

You flipped the knife in your hand, making sure it was pointed downward.

Using every ounce of your strength in the attempt to make your knife plunge into the intruder's chest, and they in turn tried their best to prevent you from doing so.

Your grip on the handle was incredibly tight, to a point you were beginning to feel light headed and your chest beginning to constrict as the scar you bear stretched out. You could tell that they were stronger than you in terms of strength, so you needed to get this over with quickly.

Just when you were about to push your weight onto the knife, you saw it.

The siren lights momentarily illuminated their face, and you felt all feeling leave your body. You forgot to breathe, and your grip lessened on the handle. This couldn’t be happening. It’s been two years.

But there was no mistaking it. Those piercing grey-bluish eyes belong to someone all too familiar.

Lazar.

Eleazar Azoulay.

“Bell?” he whispered in disbelief, and his grip on you lessened significantly. You couldn’t see his expression, but his voice was enough. It was him.

You choked up as he said your name. Your nickname almost sounded foreign. Lazar must have seen your face at the same time you saw his.

Before you could respond, something blunt and heavy hit you square on your temple, knocking you off. Alarms were ringing inside your head, telling you to run as far as possible. You could already hear that man's voice at the depths of your mind.

"Woods, wait!" you heard Lazar cry out in warning.

You didn't waste a second getting back on your feet, diving behind a control panel as a torrent of bullets rained on the spot you were at just mere seconds ago.

You couldn't stop yourself from hyperventilating, and your hands began shaking. Balling them into a fist, you punched the ground as fear began to take over you. Fuck!

Somehow, you managed to get a good grip on your knife, holding it with your fingertips before chucking it around the corner from your hiding spot. You heard it collide with something metallic, and you took the opportunity to dash towards the door.

Bullets trailed right behind you, one even grazing your shoulder just as you made it out. You ran down the hall, trying to remember where the exit was. The only advantage you had was the lack of lighting, and your knowledge of the facility's layout, and yet you failed to clear your mind.

After a few tight turns, you tackled the emergency exit door open. You didn't stop for a moment, continuing to run off into the forest that was located on top of a small hill. The snow left indents of your shoes as you rushed to get away, but there was no time to spare to cover them.

Just what were you supposed to do in a situation like this?

Hiding behind a tree, it took a bit for your body to cooperate. Your thoughts were racing at an uncontrollable rate.

You always thought the first emotion you would feel was anger if you somehow encountered your former team again. You ran the scenarios through your head, thinking of every possible outcome, but this seemed to be the most unlikely route to have taken.

Rather than anger, you were scared.

What would they do to you when they found you? You were supposed to be dead. Were you going to kill them? No, you couldn't do that…

Right?

In the end, you wanted to shut your eyes, cover your ears, and wish everything else away. You had nothing to defend yourself, and you couldn't bring yourself to surrender.

You couldn't do anything.

Your military training felt useless in this scenario, and your mind was slowly turning against you. The voices sounded like they were getting closer, but you couldn't tell if they were auditory hallucinations or the genuine voices of the people you had cared for.

Cold wind nipped at the open wound on your forehead, and you could feel the trail of blood that ran down your face drying up.

The sound of a branch breaking went off nearby.

Painfully, you held your breath, and tried to concentrate your thoughts on your surroundings. You forced your hand to stop shaking by grasping your wrist. You listened to everything that could exist, whether it be the cold breeze blowing through, or the slightest movement of a leaf.

Surely enough, you heard the sound of something heavy closing itself onto your position. It was on your right.

Taking a peek from the corner of your eye, you could see a red laser pointing at the ground near you, before it disappeared. The presence was right there.

They knew where you were.

Preparing yourself, you took a silent deep breath, and pulled your legs closer. The sound of a single bell chime went off in your head. You had to be doing something right.

Counting down their footsteps, they were just a pace away.

You bolted out from behind the tree, tackling the person closest to you. They swore in surprise as you both rolled down a short distance.

It was Adler.

A sudden rage overtook you.

The man behind everything, the one who made these voices in your head.

You couldn't see his eyes behind the fucking glasses. Why did he always wear those fucking shades?

You were frustrated. You could have helped them. You could have told them about Duga, but you told them about Solovetsky instead. Your loyalty was to the US at that point, their morals and vision of the greater good heavily instilled on you. It may have been fake, but you eventually sympathized with it. You were even part of the team that prevented the nukes, and this was the "thanks" you get?

“We’ve got a job to do.”

Something inside you snapped, your fear turning into something incomprehensible. You weren’t mad or frightened; it felt like an unearthly force had taken control of your body, and you were just watching it play out in front of your eyes.

Kill him.

Wresting the gun away from him, you tossed it away before positioning yourself on top, making sure he couldn't get up. With your left hand you grabbed his collar. As for your right fist, you didn't hesitate to bring down your fist onto him.

His aviators broke right at the bridge of his nose.

"Bell-"

You didn't give him a second to speak. Pulling back your fist, you delivered another punch. Adler had an iron grip on your left wrist, trying to pry it away, but you didn't budge.

“The red door.”

Where was it?

"The CIA reinvented you, Bell."

"Bell, stop!"

Where was the damn door?

“Why?!” you screamed, tugging Adler at the collar with both hands. Your throat felt raw and dry as emotions began to well up, your thoughts becoming incoherent the longer you stared at his bloody face. “You left me!”

Adler fully understood the words you spoke, and it tugged at his heartstrings.

Your voice cracked as you cried, and tears were running down your face. You truly did think you had a connection with him, working side by side with a man that had your back in the most dire of situations. He fully expected this kind of reunion, but he had long convinced himself that you had actually died on the cliffside. Adler couldn’t even bring himself to fight back against you, agony written all over your face as you confronted him. He took the punches, wishing that it would at least give you some solace.

You were peeled off of him by Woods, whose arms were wrapped around your neck and waist, restricting your movement. You flailed your legs around, just trying to hit something, anything. But Woods' hold on you was too strong, and moving too much would choke yourself unconscious. Instead, you watched as Adler helped himself upward, wiping the blood from his nose away.

Adler rolled his neck a couple of times, and gave up on wiping away the blood on his face. He spat out some substance onto the ground as he reached for the radio, an audible click coming from it. "Sims, get ready. We're heading to exfil."

You could sense him looking at you, but you were unable to decipher his visage amidst the darkness.

"We secured the package."

#russell adler #russell adler x reader #russell adler x bell #cod black ops cold war #black ops cold war #call of duty #bo:cw #text #bell #call of duty x reader #call of duty imagine #fanfic #abcd briefing

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macbetha · 3 years

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So very excited to share this! It’s a playlist for my upcoming Free! fic, This Heart of Mine, the rewritten sequel to Eyes Wide Open All the Time. You can listen to the playlist on YouTube; this list simply helps define who or what a song represents to me. This list also includes some lyrics that you may want to pay special attention to. I recommend reading the lyrics by themselves before listening to the playlist. Mind you - some of these lyrics only act as symbolism. Some mean more. Some songs have connections. Some don’t. ;) *go girl give us nothing* List below!

THIS HEART OF MINE: PLAYLIST GUIDE

Theme: Bring Me The Horizon feat. Halsey - In The Dark (MTLT / amo version) Oh so tall, it broke the fourth wall Guess our fairytale had a few plot holes Don’t you know you’ve lost control ↳ Honorable Mentions: ✧ grandson - Bury Me Facedown When I go into the ground I won’t go quietly I’m bringing my crown I won’t get tired Set the town on fire Thinking that they’ve won It’s only just begun ✧ Lorde - Everybody Wants to Rule the World ✧ Ry X - YaYaYa ✧ Rihanna - Goodnight Gotham

CHARACTERS

✦ Haruka ✧ WDL - Monster vs Angel Got my own monster Nobody but me Got my own angel I would never call him enemy He’s the good god I need But both of the sides Fight for me ✧ Mumford and Sons - Broken Crown I’ll never be your chosen one In this twilight How dare you speak of grace But in this twilight Our choices seal our fate I’ll crawl on my belly till the sun goes down I’ll never wear your broken crown ✧ Lia Marie Johnson - DNA Dark as midnight 6 Pack Coors Light You don’t look the same Past my bedtime Blue and red lights come take you away I won’t be like you Fighting back, I’m fighting back the truth Eyes like yours Can’t look away But you can’t stop DNA

✧ Cat Power - Sea of Love Come with me, my love To the sea, the sea of love ✧ Al Green - Love and Happiness (side note: this if my favorite song of all time) Love and happiness Something that can make you do wrong And make you do right

✦ Makoto ✧ The Oh Hellos - Soldier, Poet, King There will come a soldier Who carries a mighty sword He will tear your city down Oh ley, oh lei, oh lord ✧ Labrynth - Still Don’t Know My Name I took your heart I did things to you only lovers would only do in the dark I made you a god Priests, popes and preachers would tell me I did wrong ✧ The Civil Wars - Devil’s Backbone Don’t care if he’s guilty Don’t care if he’s not He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I got Oh lord, I’m begging you, please Don’t take that sinner from me ✧ Sleeping At Last - Make You Feel My Love (Cover) I could make you happy Make your dreams come true There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do Go to ends of the earth for you To make you feel my love ✦ Sousuke ✧ Angel Haze - Detox You dance in a cage with some rats in it I’m about chemistry, you just react to me God might turn us to ash, baby I might just taste your last stars tonight We were gods in a world that did nothing but doubt us But fuck it, I got us, from the dirt with the flowers Put in work in the shower ✧ Kaleo - No Good You better start runnin’ When you hear the man coming It won’t do you no good Kiss your baby goodbye Come on love, it’s all right Heaven knows they wanna break you apart ✧ The Oh Hellos - The Lament of Eustice Scrubb Brother, forgive me We both know I’m the one to blame When I touched the water They told me I could be set free ✦ Rin ✧ Halsey - Young God (Lullaby / Music Box Intro, Live from Webster Hall) Running, running, running And we’ll be running, running, running again ✧ SZA - Good Days Tell me I’m not my fears, my limitations I’ll disappear I gotta keep from losing the rest of me Chasing a fountain of youth that’s in the present I’ll await my armored fate with a smile Still wanna try, I still believe in good days ✧ Lola Blanc - Angry Too Does it get your blood boiling? Does it make you see red? Cause it gets my blood boiling It would eat you like poison if you knew what I knew I don’t wanna drink the venom they made me I don’t wanna be controlled by the past But boy, if you were me Could you really blame me? ✧ Kendrick Lamar - u And if this bottle could talk: I cry myself to sleep, everything is your fault Because you shook as you knew confinement was needed I know your secrets Don’t let me tell them to world About the shit you thinking And the time that you - I’m ‘bout to hurl I’m fucked up But I ain’t as fucked up as you ✧ Halsey - More Wooden floors, little feet Flower bud, concrete A little screen, a photograph Mine to take I still believe it won’t be like before I’ve loved you for all of my life ✦ Nao ✧ Johnny Hollow - Worse Things Anger grew like ecstasy And Leda threw the swan on me There are worse things, perverse things You should answer when the phone rings There are worse things I could do ✧ Young Heretics - Bones of a Rabbit You play with wolves But you sleep with the bones of the rabbit You have conquered cities And torched the mighty sea You may keep yourself afloat But you cannot outswim me ✧ Phantogram - Black Out Days (Future Islands Remix) Hide the sun I will keep your face out of my mind I’m hearing voices all the time And they’re not mine Haunting my mind ✦ Natsuya ✧ Gang of Youths - Achilles, Come Down Remember your virtue Redemption lies plainly in the truth Where you go, I’m going When you jump, I’m jumping There is no me without you Today of all days See how the most dangerous thing is love ✧ Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love The stars, the moon They have all been blown out You left me in the dark ✦ Ikuya ✧ Penelope Scott - Cigarette Ahegao So like, I guess I call it the sophomore slump Always crying and always drunk A few dead, more gone, the rest well on their way Thanks! I hate it Everyone that I love is stuck Because this, that, the other, and the state fucked up We covered it in a class that I’m about to fail ✧ 100 gecs, Laura Les, Dylan Brady - Money Machine Tell me what's the deal, I've been trying to go to bed I've been up for days, I've been trying to get ahead Said it all before, and I'll say it once again I'm better off alone ✧ Halsey - Clementine Through a breakdown or a blackout Would you make out with me Cause I don’t need anyone I just need everyone and then some ✦ Hiyori ✧ Florence + The Machine - Seven Devils Holy water cannot help you now A thousand armies couldn’t keep me out I don’t want your money I don’t want your crown See I’ve come to burn your kingdom down ✧ Michael Buble - Feeling Good (Cover) It’s a new life for me This old world is a new world And a bold world for me Freedom is mine And I know how I feel I’m feeling good ✦ Asahi ✧ Sam Henshaw - Broke If I wasn’t broke Would you spend more time with me Like you said you’d do Tell me what I’m supposed to do Cause the only thing I need Is to be loved by you ✧ Mikky Ekko - Smile Smile, the worst is yet to come We’ll be lucky if we ever see the sun ✦ Aki ✧ Aly & AJ - Church I did bad things, can’t you see it on my face? I get caught in every lie I need redemption for sins I can’t mention For all the things I can’t reverse For all the places where it hurts ✧ ZZ Ward - Ghost Here the devil call out my name I’ve broken promises, burning flame God knows, darling God knows I gave Now the truth cuts like a knife ✦ Nii ✧ Of Mice and Men - My Understandings Keep in mind that I’m a sore eye With blurry vision ✧ Neoni - Outlaw They say that I’m wanted Hear the whispers in the street You better start running Cause nothing scares me Faster, faster You’re the one I’m after You built a fortress But I’ll never kiss the ring I’m my own king

✦ Gou ✧ Melanie Martinez - Lunchbox Friends We can be friends if you wanna be But only till the clock hits three I don’t want no lunchbox friends, no I want someone that binds the ends, no Come to my house, let’s die together Friendship that will last forever ✧ Maroon 5 - Come to the Water Come away little light Come away to the darkness Away from the life that you always knew Come away little lamb Come away to the water To the arms that are waiting only for you ✦ Isuzu ✧ Jessie Reyez - NO ONE’S IN THE ROOM Spent my whole life being graded, being told I’m not enough Being told go find the one and sit and wait for death to come I don’t want to I need to talk to God There’s things I just don’t understand Like who am I when no one’s in the room EMI - Bad Friends Yeah, I got some bad friends No you cannot have them If you wanna talk to them You talk to me, yeah We don’t fuck around with just anybody, yeah

✦ Takuya ✧ Imagine Dragons - Ready, Aim, Fire Off in the distance, there is resistance Bubbling up and festering Here in the casing Shaking and pacing This is the tunnel’s light Blood in the writing, stuck in the fighting Look through the rifle’s sight ✧ Billie Eilish - you should see me in a crown (acapella) Bite my tongue Bide my time Wait till the world is mine, ocean eyes Count my cards Watch them fall Blood on a marble wall You should see me in a crown I’m gonna run this nothing town Watch me make ‘em bow One by one ✦ Kinjou ✧ Urban Country - Knife and Stone Tell me, have you ever seen a mirror Mirror in the middle of the forest Just waiting for the rain or the crown I’ve been up for thirty days Someone point to lost and found Ain’t no blood in the temple Just a knife and stone

✦ Mikhail ✧ Elsie Lovelock - Friends on the Other Side (Cover) The cards, the cards The cards will tell The past, the present, and the future as well I got voodoo, I got hoodoo I got things I ain’t even tried And I got friends on the other side I hope you’re satisfied, but if you ain’t Don’t blame me You can blame my friends on the other side ✦ Ryuuji ✧ elbow - Grounds for Divorce I’ve been working on a cocktail Called Grounds for Divorce Down comes him on sticks but then he kicks like a horse There's a hole in my neighborhood Down which of late I cannot help but fall ✧ Mumford and Sons - The Enemy I am not the enemy It isn’t me, the enemy I came and I was nothing So why did you choose to lean on A man you knew was falling? ✦ Nadia ✧ Halsey - Castle (Orchestral Version) They wanna make me their queen There’s an old man Sitting on the throne Saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut I’m headed straight for the castle

THEMES: GROUPS

✦ FREEBIRD ✧ Kaleo - Way Down We Go Oh father, tell me Do we get what we deserve They will run you down Down till you fall They will run you down Down till you crawl Till you can’t crawl no more And way down we go ✦ ROUGH RABBIT ✧ Imagine Dragons - Who We Are Up on the mountain Down in the king's den It's who we are Doesn't matter if we've gone too far Doesn't matter if it's not okay Doesn't matter if it's not our day ✦ DIAMONDBACK ✧ Florence + The Machine - Bedroom Hymns This is good a place to fall as any We’ll build our alter here In the wine, the women, the bedroom hymns Such selfish prayers, I can’t get enough I’m not here looking for absolution Because I’ve found myself an old solution

✦ HONEYBLADE ✧ Megan Thee Stallion and Normani - Diamonds I love me this much My pear-shape all dripped up He want me to be a little more lady-like? Come through with my girls and beat your ass on ladies night ✦ BLOODHOUNDS ✧ Angel Haze - The Wolves Nothing left out there for me I left my fucking heart out at the sea This shit sounds like the danger zone I’m the big bad wolf Gonna take the throne

THEMES: PAIRINGS

✦ Makoto + Haruka ✧ Phoebe Bridgers - Smoke Signals One of your eyes is always half shut Something happened when you were a kid I didn’t know you then and I’ll never understand why It feels like I did ✧ Radical Face - Welcome Home Peel the scars from off my back I don’t need them anymore I’ve come home ✧ The Track Team - Heart Chakra ✧ Blackmill - Redemption ✦ Sousuke + Rin ✧ Kaleo - Bang Bang (Cover) Seasons came and changed the times I grew up, I called him mine He would always laugh and say: “Remember how we used to play? Bang, bang.” ✧ Zayn - Good Guy I’m not a good guy But I know you’re mine (bang) I know you’re mine (bang, bang) ✧ L'Orchestra Cinématique - Crazy In Love (Instrumental Cover)

✦ Natsuya + Nao ✧ Cosmo Sheldrake - The Moss But have you heard the story Of the rabbit in the moon? Halsey - Colors Your little brother never tells you But he loves you so I hope you make it to the day you’re 28 years old

✦ Hiyori + Ikuya ✧ Elvis Drew - Where Are You I been trying to figure out where you from Is it the moon? Is it earth? Is it this place, where nothing is worse? Nothing can compare to the life we had My dear just grab my hand and let me take you To my wonderland ✧ Swae Lee - Sunflower Some things you just can’t refuse I’m not tryna lose

✦ Isuzu + Gou ✧ Snow Patrol - The Golden Floor I’m a peasant in your princess arms Penniless with only charm

#thomfic #free! fic #thomplaylist #thom

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