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ollypopwrites · 25 days

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From Depths Unknown ; Part 5

Part 1 ⚜️ Part 2 ⚜️ Part 3 ⚜️ Part 4 ⚜️ Read on Ao3

Rolan x F!Tav (AFAB, she/her) *Tav is a Storm Sorcerer, but no actual reference to her appearance.

Rating: E

Tags & Warnings: [18+ MDNI] Injury (including burns, broken bones and scars), child injury, alcohol consumption and baudy yet shanty tunes.

Chapter Summary:

It was over, but there was a trail of tragedies written in the dust on the road to get there. Everyday Tav wondered if her and her friends were going to join them.

Tav’s powers had sometimes been unpredictable in her childhood.

A zap on accident when someone touched her in passing, the boom of thunder knocking things off walls when she lost her temper or sometimes a rain cloud that soaked her and her little sister’s shared bedroom in a fit of teenage angst. Other than the occasional embarrassing magical slip up, she lived a pretty average life.

Her family’s pub and inn lay at the edge of the coast, right on the dock of a small village that only grew when wayward adventurers with nowhere else to go sought out a peaceful retirement. Tav’s mother was one of them. She fell in love with Tav’s father, grew tired of the constant trek and risking of her life. She settled down and ran an inn for weary travelers with him, relieving any wanderlust through the stories of her patrons.

If a story was good enough, Tatianna Caradine would provide a round of drinks on the house.

Her father was less of a wanderer, preferring the simplicity of his life and his work. He had watched his own father set off on too many adventures for months at a time, seen him come back with too many new scars and a haunted look in his eye. He built the inn for people like his father, who needed a safe place to lay their head on the road.

Tav loved the stories told at the pub. She would listen with stars in her eyes as sailors recounted the wonders at sea, and rangers gush about the mysticism in the wilds. Her and Lottie would act out their mother’s adventures for patrons and when her grandfather was still alive she’d sit on his lap as he regaled tale after tale to the gathered crowds.

When a ship of sailing adventurers docked at their humble town, they made it no further than the inn. The youngest recruit, encouraged by the wide eyed gaze of the innkeeper’s daughter, puffed out his chest over a mug of ale and a braggadocious claim that he and his crew bested a kraken. Tav had not understood the teasing of his crew mates, or the sarcastic rolls of their eyes. She was smitten, and naive. Tav was only fourteen, and while the sailor was very young, he was still old enough to drink and set off on his own.

Her father had insisted she was too young for him but Tav hardly cared. She fancied herself in love; he never looked at her like the innkeeper’s little daughter, he told her she would make a great adventurer — complimented her on her abilities instead of warning her to keep them in check.

They made a plan: he would sneak her onto the ship, she could hide as a stowaway until they were too far out to bring her back and she would be with him on his adventures.

Her mother caught her sneaking out of her shared room with Lottie after everyone went to sleep. Tatianna had let her climb out of the window, shuffle awkwardly down the side of the building and take a few steps before she revealed herself. Tav had been a maelstrom of emotions. She loved her jolly sailor and he loved her and they were going to see the world together — she was certain of it. Her mother simply stood by calmly, letting her child thrash and rage while she stood steadfast in her decision. Tav was too young to be setting off alone, let alone running away with some boy who she had known all of two days.

In a fit of hormonal rage, Tav’s powers slipped out of control. With little to no warning, lightning struck the inn and a fire broke out. Her mother had rushed in, screaming to wake up the patrons as she ran through the small hallways. At some point her father had woken, helping clear the building. And Tav just watched.

People ran out, coughing and hacking as the fire spread and smoke billowed out of the open windows and doors. At some point, a crowd had gathered from the village as well, people attempting to help and heal. More and more people filed out until there was a long stretch where no one else exited the building to safety. But neither her mother, father or her little sister had come out yet.

Tav was convinced she was dreaming. Any moment she would wake up, and be able to move her limbs again instead of standing frozen to the spot in shock and confusion. The heat from the burning wood made her sweat and the light of it blazing against the night sky hurt her eyes to look at, and the smoke that rose up into the air filled up her senses. Do something, anything, she told herself. Yet she couldn’t move.

Finally, her mother had stumbled out of the building with Lottie in her arms. She laid the little girl down and immediately ran back into the building, a few people following after her with warning screams that the building would not last much longer. Lottie looked like she was asleep, except she was covered in soot and her skin was charred and bubbled in spots. Her tiny leg was bent wrong, bright white bone showing through broken skin.

It took two people to carry her father out. Her mothers arms were red and angry, her father’s entire body was so badly burned that Tav felt sick at the smell of charred flesh that filled her nose when he was placed on the remains of the dock. He was unrecognizable.

Tatianna was permanently scarred, her forearms and hands taking the brunt of it but her neck had a sprawling mark where the flames had caught her clothes. She had destroyed the skin when lifting a burning beam of wood that had fallen on Lottie. It broke the little girl’s leg badly enough that it had to be amputated, and she would live the rest of her life with scars on the lower half of her body. Tav’s father succumbed to his wounds a few days after the fire.

The woman at the bottom of the stairs certainly looked a bit like Tav, and the teenager next to her could have easily passed for a younger version of his hero. As the older woman impatiently read a small letter in her hand, the young girl’s eyes seemed to take in the store with quiet wonder. Rolan made his way down, cautious and ready to send them away but somehow nervous. Historically, Rolan knew he wasn’t very good at first impressions and if this was Tav’s mother he didn’t want her to think he was an ass.

With his shoulders back, his chin up high, he greeted the two newcomers.

“I’m the master of this tower,” he said evenly, “I’m told you are looking for one of the ‘Saviors of the Gate.’”

“Tav,” the woman nodded her head once, “she goes by Tav. I’m her mother, I have proof.”

She handed him a letter. Addressed to Tatianna Caradine from one Tav C. The woman’s name matched the letter Tav had written just a day ago, now on its way to an empty home.

“I sent off a letter to you on Tav’s behalf just yesterday, Mrs. Caradine,” Rolan smiled a little. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“So she is here?” Tatianna asked urgently, grabbing his arm. “She’s alright?”

“Yes,” Rolan replied, not entirely sure what to do with the contact. “I saw her just yesterday, she’s fine.”

Tatianna looked close to tears. “Thank the Gods,” she breathed.

“Mama,” the young girl touched her shoulder, but the woman was trying to regain her composure.

“You must be Tav’s sister,” Rolan commented, trying to give Tatianna a moment.

“Yeah, I’m Lottie,” she said with a little smile.

“Rolan.”

“Are you really the master of this place?”

“I am,” he said.

“You’re younger than I thought an archmage would be,” Lottie tilted her head a little.

“Am I?” It was a dumb response, but it seemed better than admitting he was not quite qualified to be the owner of the tower.

“Unless you use magic to look younger,” she raised her eyebrows.

“I assure you I don’t,” he replied

“I don’t believe you.”

“Lottie, stop,” Tatianna waved her hand. “Where is she?”

“She should be out with her party working on rebuilding efforts,” he said. “They’re staying at the Elfsong Tavern. I could escort you there?”

“Yes,” she said quickly. “Please.”

The walk would have been awkward in its silence, but Tatianna had a steadfast focus on her task that made it less so. Lottie had a slight limp in her gait, which her mother seemed to naturally accommodate in her speed but Rolan had to adjust his long strided pace for.

“How did you get into the city?” Rolan finally asked. The gate had still been closed, only opening for supply deliveries and for refugees to leave if they wished.

“I have an old acquaintance here in the city,” Tatianna said cryptically. “They got us in.”

“They snuck us in. They were a Harper or something,” Lottie added.

“Lotaryne,” Tatianna scolded, the use of the girl’s full name making her clamp her mouth shut.

Rolan stifled a smile. “I'm sure there’s no harm done. The head of the Harper’s is one of Tav’s traveling companions.”

“Jaheira? The Jaheira?” Tatianna asked in disbelief.

“The very same.”

“So it’s true, what they’re saying?” Lottie asked him. “About mind flayers taking over?”

“Yes,” Rolan replied, “I’m sure the stories are wildly embezzled, but I saw it myself.”

There was a pause before Lottie said, “our Tav? saved the whole city?”

“The world, really,” Rolan corrected. “An Elderbrain with an army of that size would not have stopped with Baldur’s Gate.”

“So when do I get to go on an adventure to save the world ,” Lottie asked her mother.

“Never. I’m locking you in the pub until you die.” Tatianna said grouchily. “My nerves can’t take any more heroes for daughters, I’ve aged twenty years since I got your sister’s letter.”

“Rolan can you teach you a spell to hide your gray hairs,” Lottie joked.

Rolan snorted.

“Don’t laugh, wizard,” Tatianna snapped.

“Apologies, ma’am.”

By the time they made it to the Elfsong, most people in the city were either done with their work for the day or taking a break for a hot meal. As one of the few bars still standing, it was crowded, people spilling out into the streets with their food and drinks. Inside, he looked around to find the group. Their usual spot was in a mostly secluded corner at the end of the room, close enough for Lakrissa to join them and listen to Alfira’s performances. He heard Minsc’s voice over the din of the crowd, and spotted Halsin’s broad frame sitting next to —

“Tavryna!” Tatianna shouted, breaking off into the crowd with Lottie not far behind.

At first Rolan was a bit shocked. He had just learned Tav’s last name a day or so ago when he sent off her letter. It never occurred to him that ‘Tav’ was short for anything. But he brought up the rear, as Tatianna made her way through the crowd. Another loud yell of Tav’s full name had her looking up in bewilderment.

“Mama?”

After her father’s funeral, the pub had been rebuilt and Lottie had been fitted for a fine prosthetic leg that cost nearly everything they had left. Tatianna never outright said she was scared of Tav’s magic, but she made it very clear that it needed to be controlled. Wizards, sorcerers and any magically inclined patron was offered a free stay for a passing lesson or word of advice when it came to wielding magic like hers. There was talk of sending her to an academy in Silvrymoon that specifically taught sorcerers, but tuition and travel would have been more than they could ever afford.

So Tav took what meager advice and one time lessons she could get. She learned how it felt when her magic was clawing at the surface, how to live in the eye of the storm that raged inside of her instead of being swept away by it. She was never perfect at it, but above everything else she never wanted to hurt anyone with her powers again unless she meant to. That was enough drive for her to keep it under control until it was a second nature to her, until her magic was an extension of herself and not a constant force chewing at her insides to be let out.

Her mother never blamed her, which only made Tav more inclined to do whatever she could to make up for the fact she'd made her a widow. She couldn’t be her father but she could step in to help raise Lottie, and keep the pub running. Her life in the village was one of piteous stares and a constant need to show that she was helpful and not a threat, but that wasn’t what mattered. Her mother and sister were all that mattered: if it meant the rest of her life would be dedicated to atonement, then so be it.

Once she was sure of her ability to control her magic and old enough to feel comfortable on her own, Tav left their village at the behest of her mother. To see what was out there before she settled down to live and die in the same place she was born. Tav had been away for two months when she got kidnapped in Baldur’s Gate by mind flayers. By the time she saved the city it had been nearly a year since she saw her mother and sister.

—

Tav was almost sure it was a trick. Maybe the tadpole wasn’t gone, and the Emperor was hiding in the corners of her mind and wanted revenge. But her mother was there in front of her, coming around the table and pulling her out of her seat.

“I could throttle you,” Tatianna said fiercely. “A note and some gold coins? ‘If I don’t make it home, please know I love you both’ — what kind of message is that!

“I wanted to —“ Tav was cut off by seeing her sister come up, followed by Rolan. Lottie was at least an inch taller than when she left home.

She was overcome with emotion. The last thing she expected was her mother to follow her to Baldur’s Gate. Tav wrapped her arms around her, and Tatianna kissed her hair before holding her like she thought Tav may slip away forever. The only time she broke away was to grab her little sister and hug her as well, nearly knocking her off balance. She looked to Rolan quizzically over their shoulders.

“They showed up on my doorstep asking for the Savior of the Gate,” he smiled.

“Oh gods, you know about that?”

“I don’t know nearly enough,” Tatianna hissed. “Explain. Now.”

Tav took the time to introduce her friends to her family, and with their help explained the last handful of months. Her mother looked horrified the entire time, and Lottie was on the edge of her seat. By the end of it, Tatianna had requested someone grab her a large glass of whiskey.

“Tav was leading you this entire time?” Lottie piped up disbelieving. “How are you all not dead?”

“Excuse you,” Tav balked. “You are so rude!”

“It’s an honest question!”

“You’ve been here for five minutes! It only took you five minutes to be a little shit!” Tav said. “I literally saved the world, you know, you could be nicer to me.”

“It’s been way longer than five minutes, first of all,” Lottie said, “and second, I still don’t understand how the world didn’t end.”

“You’re such a —,” Tav retorted.

“Girls! Please!” Tatianna broke it up immediately.

Despite the flash of irritation, it was such a mundane interaction that Tav realized how much she had missed them. There was never any time to linger on it, if she did she probably would have crumbled under the weight of it. It was the only way to survive, putting one foot in front of the other and trying not to wonder if their shared hug when she left to go on a small tour of Faerûn was going to be the last time she ever saw them. But they were there now, and for the first time Tav saw her mother starstruck when she introduced her to Jaheira and Minsc.

At the end of the night, after most of her friends had gone up to the suite and the tieflings all left for the night, the Elfsong was quiet. Even Alan was in the back with his remaining crew to clean up and prepare for the next day. Lottie had fallen asleep, face pressed into her folded arms on the table as Tav rubbed her back absently while she talked to her mother.

“I’m sorry I didn’t write earlier,” Tav said. “I had no idea where we were, all the towns in every direction were razed to the ground. The moment we made it to Rivington I headed to the post.”

“One of your wizard friends needs to teach you Sending,” Tatianna said. “It was invaluable in my adventures.”

“I’ll ask one of them,” she smiled.

There was a quiet moment, filled only by dishes being moved and cleaned in the other room. It was strangely nostalgic. There were countless nights they had all three done the same back home after all the patrons left or went to their rooms. It was the same and yet she was so far from her home.

“Darling,“ Tatianna touched the side of her face. “I am so proud of you.

Tav shrugged, looking to the back of Lottie’s head to avoid eye contact. “All of this — there was no choice. I had to do it.”

“There was a choice,” Tatianna gently turned her head to meet her eyes. “There were hundreds of choices on the road to where you are now. And you did it. Nothing I taught you could have prepared you for this.”

Tav suddenly felt her emotions bubble up to the surface. What praise was she deserving of? She had taken more lives than she could count at that point, met new people and watched them die within weeks, and she had failed to make good on her promises to so many others. To top it all off, every step of this journey had been a struggle. The entire time she was certain she would fail at any moment.

“Mama,” she choked. “I was so scared.”

In the Shadowcursed Lands she felt like a little girl hiding from monsters under her bed. In the Bhaalist Temple, seeing Yenna suspended over an altar of blood, for a moment she had felt like the same teenager who stood frozen in shock while her little sister lay broken on the ground. The burnt bodies on the beach when she emerged from the nautiloid, finding Arabella’s parents dead in the House of Healing, the caravan of tieflings leaving a trail of bodies to the Last Light Inn, Karlach and Wyll jumping through a portal to the hells –

It was over, but there was a trail of tragedies written in the dust on the road to get there. Everyday Tav wondered if her and her friends were going to join them.

Tatianna’s eyes welled up and all she did was pull Tav into her chest, kissing the top of her head. Tav cried, clawing at the worn cloth of her mother’s traveling coat in one hand. Her hand steady on her little sister’s back with the other. It didn’t matter if the setting of an empty pub at night with her family was familiar. It didn’t even matter if Tav went back home or not, she was never going to be the same person she was when she left.

She’s never had a moment to mourn her.

Tatianna and Lottie stayed for a while. Alan needed the help at the Elfsong with so many new patrons and hungry displaced families to feed. The two easily managed to fall into step with the hectic pace. In fact, Tatianna’s sharp smiles and ability to bully even the most belligerent patrons into submission was an entertainment Rolan hardly expected. Alan would not allow someone as young as Lottie to serve drinks regardless if that was what they allowed back at their own establishment but she was more than happy to pester Chef Roveer in the back and run out food orders.

Very slowly, Baldur’s Gate was beginning to be a city again. Commerce was slow to start, but it was happening, and Rolan could start running Sorcerer’s Sundries as a shop rather than a triage center. There was still a lot to be done, sometimes he felt the work would never cease, but at the very least they had a small bit of time for their own personal lives again.

As usual, Rolan got no chance to speak to Tav alone. He had even invited Lottie and Tatianna to come have a tour of the tower, in an attempt to get even a minute with her. At some point, Cal’s excitement to show their new home encouraged Lottie and the two ran off to see the tower’s defense mechanisms. Tav followed after them, not fully convinced the two wouldn’t set the cannon off.

It left Rolan alone with Tatianna.

“My brother is… excitable,” Rolan said in an apology.

“Lottie’s never seen anywhere but the village she grew up in,” Tatianna said with a fond smile. “I know she’ll appreciate getting to see some wonders.” After a moment, she looked at him, “be a good host and offer me some tea.”

“Apologies, I’m still — “ he started an explanation. He’d never had the means to be a host to anyone. He was still getting used to it. “Would you like some tea, Mrs. Caradine?”

“Yes,” she said gratefully. “But you don’t have to call me Mrs. Caradine. Tatianna is more than fine.”

They made their way to the kitchen, and Rolan prepared them both tea. Tatianna was good at making conversation, so even Rolan’s awkwardness did not put her off. To his surprise, it was never forced or uncomfortable, and despite his nerves each conversation went better than he could have hoped for. She asked questions if it ever got too quiet, mostly about the tower, the progress in rebuilding the city. At the mention of Jaheira and the newly elected Duchess Florrick, Tatianna scoffed.

“Florrick is the one we met just yesterday? The one who invited us to a coronation ball?”

“Yes,” Rolan nodded. “She’ll do well, I think. Duke Ravenguard was a staple in the city, but his kidnapping by the cultists has the people doubting his strength. Florrick has been involved in stamping it out since the beginning and has been investing in the lower city. Not to mention her close relationship to the ‘Saviors of the Gate’,” he rolled his eyes fondly, “if anyone could take his place, it’ll be her.”

“I have little interest in politics, so I'll take your word for it,” she scrunched up her nose. “I'm just wrapping my head around my girl being invited to coronation balls, and hanging around with archmages.” She shook her head, “I watch her and she’s … well, she’s very good at all of this.”

“Infuriatingly good, in fact,” Rolan smiled a little.

“She says you weren’t her biggest fan at first,” Tatianna smiled behind a cup of tea. “What about my daughter did you find wanting?”

Shit. “Erm - nothing,” he swallowed down some tea for time to think. “Quite the opposite, she was seemingly perfect in every way imaginable.”

“How annoying of her,” Tatianna quipped.

“You have no idea,” Rolan chuckled. “She convinced my siblings and I to stay and fight with our caravan from Elturel when we were faced with Goblin hordes. Cal and Lia got into some trouble on the road and I… didn’t handle it well, blamed Tav even – but,” he cleared his throat roughly, “I would have neither them nor this tower if it weren’t for her. She is… a very dear friend to me.”

Tatianna narrowed her eyes at him, and he dreaded what she was thinking. He had to be even redder, and his whole body tensed up. He wondered if Tav had told her mother about all of their encounters: the selfish cowardly instinct to leave the caravan behind, the drunken raging at her expense in the Last Light Inn or the way he had so rudely stood her up when she asked him to join her for a drink the first time. Tav was a special kind of genuinely kind to have seen past all of that herself, there was no way he would be lucky enough to overcome that bad of an impression on her mother.

“Were you an archmage in Elturel?”

“No, I was self-taught. The former master of this tower took me on as an apprentice.”

“And he retired?”

“Not willingly,” Rolan shifted uncomfortably. “He was after one of Tav’s friends. An aasimar. He was trying to capture her to siphon off her immortality. Tav and her friends stepped in.”

Tatianna blinked at him a couple times. “Well,” she said with eyebrows raised, “congratulations on your promotion.”

“Thank you.” After a long silence stretched out and Rolan began to feel restless, he asked, “how far is your village from here?”

“It takes about three weeks to get back and forth on the road,” she informed him.

Rolan felt his stomach drop. “When Tav is ready to go back I’m sure we can arrange a portal for you all.”

“What makes you think she wants to go back?” Tatianna questioned.

“She’s said as much,” Rolan told her. She was drunk. She was beside herself. But she has said that was where she was meant to be.

“My Tavryna?”

“The very same.”

Tatianna took a sip of tea. “She doesn’t want to go back.”

Rolan had no response to it. Tatianna was , as he was learning, somehow more willful than Tav.

“I convinced her to go see the world a little, it’s what she always wanted. And I know this isn’t what I had in mind,” she laughed, “but it’s not hard to see that she wanted an out.”

“Perhaps being on the road has changed her mind.”

“No,” Tatianna shook her head. “It hasn’t. Any commitment she had for our home was only out of obligation. When her father died, she felt responsible. Tav has lived her entire life like she owes us something.”

Rolan rolled that over in his mind. It explained a lot about Tav. Her instinct to jump up and offer services for little to nothing in return, the pressure she put on herself to stretch as far as possible to accommodate and save people. Like everything he felt for Lia and Cal but exacerbated to the point of insanity, extending to everyone she met.

“I can understand the impulse,” he said. “Everything I’ve done has been for my family.”

“It’s more than that,” Tatianna seemed to be working something out, piecing things together. “It’s not just about loyalty and family. It’s about atonement.”

“What could she have to atone for to her family?”

Tatianna seemed unsure if she should speak. “Tav’s powers were sometimes… wild. It’s my fault really. I came in contact with a very old, very tricky elemental during one of my adventures. I went from no magical abilities besides very shotty summoning of familiars to having it at my fingertips, not very strongly, mind you. But it was there.” She shook her head, “after Tav was born it was just gone. And then one day little rain clouds used to form over her bassinet when she would cry. If a doorknob was too high for her to reach she’d pound on the door and it would feel like thunder was shaking the whole building —“ she broke off into a half laugh. “But as she grew older… well, it grew more powerful. There was an accident, and her father didn’t make it.”

Rolan felt the frown forming on his face.

“All of this is to say,” She fixed him with a stern look, “I don’t know what’s between you two, she won’t say what it is. But I need someone besides me to tell her that if she wants to stay here, she can, and we will be fine if she does.”

Rolan was clinging to the spark of hope that Tav may have wanted to stay until her family showed up. The last time she spoke of them she seemed so desperate to get back home, but now her own mother was looking him in the eye and giving him something to hold onto. She may just want to stay.

“I see where she gets her meddlesome tendencies,” he said.

“I run a pub,” she smirked, “everyone’s business is my business.”

Cal and Lottie were getting along so well, Tav found herself hard pressed to end the tour of the tower. She knew Alan would need Lottie and her mother’s help for the night shift, but the excitement on her little sister’s face was hard to deny. Cal kept pointing out the few highlights of the city that were still standing, sharing what little tidbits of Baldur’s Gate he had discovered.

Finally Rolan and her mother appeared. The sun was coming down and it was time for the dinner rush at the Elfsong. It was routine now for everyone to gather there, and Rolan needed help shutting down the tower for the night before they joined them.

Tav had been feeling a familiar sense of guilt and uncertainty. Each day the city was in better shape, at some point the recovery efforts would no longer need her. It was strange, being the city’s hero, but a part of her felt like the new beginning of the city could also be her own. However, Halsin started planning the trek towards Reithwin with Shadowheart, Gale was coming closer to find the Netherese Crown to return to Mystra so he and Astarion could head back to Waterdeep — Tav was beginning to realize that she had a choice to make.

She could stay. She could even go with any of them if she wanted. She had enough friends now to start a life wherever. But her mother and sister working at the Elfsong to help out Alan was a reminder of what she took from them. Suddenly she felt like she needed some air.

Excusing herself, she made her way out of the bar, ready to take a stroll just around the block so she wouldn’t be missed. Just enough to clear her head so she wasn’t bad company. As she left the door, Cal, Lia and Rolan were arriving for the night.

“Where are you off to?” Lia asked.

“Need some air,” Tav said. “It's as loud as ever tonight.”

“I’ll join you,” Rolan offered quickly.

“Okay,” Tav breathed. She had wanted to be alone with her thoughts, but she found herself very amenable to his company.

“Lottie’s meat pies go quick, I’m not missing out today, I’m starving,” Cal went past them.

“I have to make sure he doesn’t eat away our new fortune,” Lia smiled, but it was a little too mischievous for Tav to feel like she was telling the whole truth. “Enjoy your moonlit stroll!”

“Are you alright?” Rolan asked as they began their slow walk.

“Fine,” Tav said. “Just thinking too much.”

It was companionable, the quiet between them. The streets were still riddled with potholes made by nautiloid blasts in some places, rubble still pushed aside to be repurposed, but the bones of the city were still there. Kids played in the streets after their meal, anyone not at a pub could be seen gathered in front of broken homes. Despite all the carnage, people were getting along, helping each other out and nourishing what was left of their communities.

“Cal and Lottie have become quick friends,” Rolan said, a playful smile on his lips.

“Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” Tav smiled back. “They nearly set off the defense canons today.”

“We should maybe hire a nanny.”

“Even with the tower’s impressive coffers, I doubt we could pay someone enough for that job.”

Rolan laughed. “As if you’re one to talk, I recall you and Astarion breaking into a highly dangerous vault in the tower.”

“Ugh, my hair smelt for weeks after that one.”

They stopped at a spot Tav had found. Mostly secluded between the graveyard and a set of stone steps going towards another block of currently abandoned shops. At the landing was a stone bench, and from that spot you could see the docks, full of ships with supplies for the rebuilding efforts.

After a while, Rolan pulled out his spellbook.

“Am I that boring? You’re going to study?”

“Boring is far from the word,” he snorted. He fiddled with the book for a moment and then held out his hand.

Her necklace was nestled safely there.

It’s not as if she had forgotten it. Many times her fingers would come to her chest, seeking its familiar presence as a comfort. She had been actively avoiding asking for it back; saving it as an excuse to drop by the tower, or to get any moment with him. Even after the fall of the Absolute she had been so busy, and he had been around so often she was keeping it in his possession as a last resort.

“You kept it with your spellbook?”

Tav was no wizard, but she saw the way Gale protected his own spellbook. He didn’t need it very often, but he always had it tucked away safely. Even Minsc had mentioned the importance of Grimoire’s to wychlarans.

“Safest place I could think of,” he said bashfully, avoiding her gaze. “Except maybe the vaults but it seemed better to have it where I could see it.”

“Thank you.” She reached out to take it, but bit her lip in reconsideration and asked, “help me put it on?”

Rolan’s eyes met hers, and he licked his lips. “Must I do everything for you?” He teased slightly.

“I know. I ask so much of you,” she smiled back.

“Turn around,” he rolled his eyes.

Stifling a giddy little giggle that was not becoming of a battle tested hero, Tav turned. She felt his warmth at her back before she saw his hands come around to wrap the chain around her neck. His fingers were deft, the practiced hands of spellwork, so it didn’t take long but she felt him trace a finger down the nape of her neck, nails scratching gently leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“There, happy now?”

“I am,” she turned abruptly. “Thank you for keeping it safe. I don’t think I would have been able to dive for it in the Chionthar. Mama will be happy to know it’s safe.”

“Your mother had mentioned his passing,” Rolan said gently. “I understand its significance to you now. Almost enough to justify your diving into undead infested waters to find it.”

He was teasing but her stomach turned over uncomfortably. “What did she tell you about it?” She asked quickly, “why would she even mention that?”

Rolan seemed a little taken aback by the shift. “She mentioned an accident. Tav?”

Tav had turned away from him. She felt herself closing off. The only other person in her new life that had known was Gale. He had been thrown on accident by a thunder wave spell, and after making a not unwarranted comment about her aim when she was fussing over him the tadpole connection had spilled her secret. To her surprise, Gale had been incredibly understanding, and when she unintentionally started to cry at his kindness, had offered to help her hone her power — from that moment on he had been one of her closest friends in decades.

But they had the tadpoles, he wasn’t just told of her life’s greatest mistake, he had experienced it as if it was his own. The same way she had experienced his folly with the Netherese Weave in order to appease Mystra. It was different than just telling someone and expecting them to still see her as more than a stupid girl who couldn’t control her own magic. A girl whose stupidity had been dangerous and fatal.

“I was young and stupid,” she explained shortly. “I lost control.” She bit the inside of her cheek, letting the pain anchor her, “lightning struck the inn and a fire started, Mama was scarred for life, Lottie almost didn’t make it — lost her leg — and my papa.” She shook her head, “she’s never forgiven me. I know it. Why else would she tell you about —“

Tav huffed a breath. Her chest felt too tight, her mind reeled as to why her mother would expose her to this kind of judgment. Especially to him, who Tav so fondly spoke about and admitted her feelings for. If she couldn’t tell her mother about them, who could she tell?

“I won’t pretend to know your mother well,” he said thoughtfully, “but nothing about what she said felt like blame, Tav. It was an accident.”

All anger seemed to rush out of her. It was complicated, as always. Tav was never sure whether her mother’s resentment was real or imagined. Sometimes she thought it was a projection of her own shame, a lack of understanding why her mother didn’t blame her for it. By all accounts, Tav deserved it. Someone had to hold her accountable for what she’d done, even if it was just herself.

“It’s not how I wanted you to find out,” Tav said simply, playing with the necklace. “I can save the world but I can’t take that moment back.”

Rolan was quiet for a while. Tav thought bitterly that she could have seen this coming. Everyone’s hero had their failings, had a reality to them that made them disappointing somehow. She thought the night on the roof of the Elfsong would have been hers, at least for him. Yet he never treated her any differently. This revelation might just have been the last straw.

She felt his warmth at her shoulder almost touching but not quite, he was facing the view in front of them. Only risking looking at him out of the corner of her eye, she saw the familiar pull of his face into a deep frown.

“My father hit my mother,” Rolan spoke evenly, almost thoughtfully. “More often than not, it was because she took the blame for something I did.”

“Rolan, you don’t have to —“ she started.

“After she died, he turned his anger on to me,” Rolan continued on. “I was never strong enough to fight back, not until I used magic. One day I walked out, showed up on Cal and Lia’s doorstep and just never left. Their mum — our mum was everything to me. When she passed I promised I’d take care of them, it was the least I could do, after all she’d done for me.”

Tav swallowed past a lump in her throat. “And you have. You’ve done so well – .”

“Sometimes when I lash out,” he started quickly, “like I did back at Last Light, I feel like I’m no better than him. I look at myself in the mirror and sometimes I see him.”

“You aren’t him,” she insisted, “you aren’t, Rolan.”

“Even now you offer me comfort, despite having laid bare your worst shame,” Rolan took a deep breath. “I’m only telling you this because you saw the worst possible version of me in that moment and thought me worth saving, worth helping.” Cautiously, he met her eye, unwavering in the truthfulness of his gaze. “There is nothing that would change how I see you. Not the Savior of the Gate. You.”

There was nothing for her to say to that. The lump in her throat threatened to crack any sound she tried to make. She had spent so much time crying in the wake of the battle, she felt spent of tears, despite how moved she was. Too much heaviness in the air, she felt the usual need to break the tension.

She bumped him with her shoulder, but didn’t move to recreate the distance that kept them from touching. “You’re maddeningly sweet sometimes, you know that?”

“Don’t tell anyone,” his smile was evident in his voice, “I’ve a reputation to uphold.”

When she looked at him, he was smiling at her. This was it. She could feel it. The electric tension that always stood between them could crest at any moment. Not like her magic, but its own special spark that she only ever seemed to feel with him. He was leaning down, tilting his head, and she could just lift her face up and meet him. He whispered her name, and she swallowed hard, her mouth dry and her whole body thrumming with heat.

“The wind won’t move, without the Bitch Queen’s will!”

The sound of drunken singing snapped them out of the moment. Both of their bodies turned toward the sound, jumping and readying for an attack. Coming up the steps was a pair of people, a tall half-orc and a human, arm in arm as they staggered up the steps, singing in unison.

“We’ll wait gladly, years and days, til the Bitch Queen brings the waves!”

“Hey! Ho! She told us so!” The human sang.

“Hey!” The half-orc yelled, catching sight of the two of them. “Didn’t know our spot had been found out!”

“Oops,” the human hiccuped.

Rolan let out a scoff, and Tav sighed at the realization that they were not being ambushed. There was no threat but she felt the adrenaline dump take hold.

“Wait,” the half-orc wobbled closer, “I know you,” he pointed at Tav. “They drew you taller in the Gazette.”

“Ah,” Tav shifted awkwardly, “did they?”

The Human peered with barely open eyes, as if seeing them for the first time, “you’re the Savior of the Gate!” He gestured widely, “and you’re that new wizard what lives up in the tower.”

“Indeed,” Rolan said stiffly.

“We bow to your greatness,” the half-orc laughed, nearly falling over in an exaggerated bow.

Tav couldn’t help but laugh with him, “no bowing necessary. Please, take your spot, we were just leaving.” She pushed at Rolan, “and keep singing! It's one of my favorites!”

“Hey! Ho! She told us so!” The pair of drunks screamed, rather than sang as she ushered Rolan away.

Half-giddy due to the adrenaline and amusement she felt at their collective jumpiness, Tav was laughing the entire way back to the Elfsong, singing the Bitch Queen’s shanty the entire way. The moment had passed, but she had grabbed his hand in hers to hold on the walk back. Eventually she made Rolan begrudgingly laugh by intensifying the drama in her performance of the song, swinging his arm widely back and forth.

“You enjoyed that attention entirely too much.”

“No,” she grinned, “I enjoyed the shade of scarlet you turned when you thought we had been caught.”

“I do not turn scarlet, I am scarlet,” he protested.

“You're more a crimson,” Tav said, “you turn scarlet when you blush.”

“I think I know the shade of red of my own skin, thank you. And the Master of Ramazith’s Tower does not blush.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Master Rolan.”

If possible he turned even more scarlet than before.

Thank you for reading!

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#bg3 fanfiction #rolan x tav #rolan fanfic #holy rolan empire #olly writes

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