hello( ╹▽╹ ) im onyx (he/they)i identify as demimale and also gay! im just kinda here for the hell of it
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my favorite video games are splatoon, a hat in time, fortnite, neon abyss, project diva series and quite a bit others my fav genres are rhythm games, shooters, platformers, simulations and rougelikes/lites
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my favorite shows/movies (which are mostly cartoons) are madoka magica, powerpuff girls, amazing world of gumball, bee and puppycat, my little pony and panty and stocking
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my fav books are bloom into you, this one summer, untill i meet my husband, boy meets maria and kitchen princess (not really into books without pictures)
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my fav music artits are banshee, poppy, within destruction, yameii online, 7xvn and many many others
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general things i like are stuffed animals, posters, toys from my childhood such as lalaloopsys, mlp etc.
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anyways this was a lot not entirely sure how this works but whatever here have this image from my gallery good bye
my entire newmainideas.txt file (2/7/2023|7/2/2023, 3:03 PM EST)
gumdrop splatling: gumball machine
brand: annaki
shots spread over a wide range like a spray shooter
can recharge while firing, can't hold charge
each shot costs 0.1% of the tank, and it shoots 6*11 times per second
the 6 shots will always differ from where they previously were and where the other shots are
takes 0.6 seconds to half charge (giving full damage but not range) and 1.2 more to full charge (full damage (+10% at fullest charge) and range)
full charge lasts 5 seconds
0.8x strafe speed
altkit: crimson gumdrop splatling
featherbrush: feather duster
brand: deco
falls 60% slower while swinging and 30% slower while rolling
has no speed decrease midair
2 shot from a range, 1 shot up close
instakills when rolling, but only rolls over 2.3 tiles per second
0.4x strafe speed
altkit: featherbrush deco
quickbrush: mop with jet engines attached
brand: dolphin
rolls 6 tiles per second
increased gravity when rolling
can't jump while rolling (legs always lifted up)
rolling deals 3 tiles of knockback to the one who rolled and the one who was rolled into
despite its speed it only has octobrush swing speed and inkbrush damage
1.1x strafe speed
altkit: port-okali quickbrush
quickbrush pro: mop with only one big jet engine attached
brand: custom
rolls 5.3 tiles per second
still has increased gravity
can jump while rolling (although low)
rolling midair 1shots
rolling deals 5 tiles of knockback only to the person it hit (it only deals 2 tiles to the one hitting)
has octobrush swing speed and painbrush damage
0.9x strafe speed
altkit: port-okali quickbrush pro
autumn longbow: literally just a fucking bow
brand: nouveau and stringer collab
only 1 shot to fire
0.4s to half charge, 0.8s to full charge
half charge 1shots (120 dmg) but has slower shot speed
full charge takes 6% of your ink tank, half charge takes 3%
no charge time penalty midair
7 tile range
1.5x object damage
paint of a burst bomb on full charge, paint of a goo tuber tapshot on half charge
no strafe speed decrease
0.6s charge hold
altkit: spring longbow
gold plated constructor: wrench
class: sword
brand: deco
increased paint at a range
quick slashes, 0.5s slash cooldown
wants to have its special badly (ideally something like a turret or wave breaker)
11 tile range
1 tile one shot range, 2 tile two shot range, 4 tile three shot range, 11 tile four shot range
charged slash has 2s of endlag (but no strafe speed decrease (or swimming))
no white ink frames (designed to use its kit a lot)
altkit: iron plated constructor
inkharpe: harp crossbow from minecraft dungeons
class: stringer
brand: uhh umm hmm uh deep cut
5 spread out shots
doesn't charge; shoots every 0.3 seconds like a blaster
line marker paint
each shot deals 68 damage
shooting takes 1.88% of your tank
makes funny noise when shooting
altkit: lightning inkharpe
zapper brella: lamp with lampshade that covers the bulb
brand: sorella neo collab
1 second to charge a 66 dmg shot, after releasing the shield launches if you don't click zr again within 9 frames
shield moves at 3 tiles per second and deals 44 damage when it hits something
full charge paint is thrice that of a goo tuber tapshot
gun can charge hold for 3 seconds
shield has 200 hp
2.7 tile range
0.8x strafe speed decrease only at full charge
altkit: port-okali zapper brella
rainblaster: pom poms and pipe cleaners arranged into a colorful cannon
brand: nouveau
shoots every 0.7s, small 60 dmg indirect range but powerful 130 dmg directs
3.3 tile range, 0.92x strafe speed
shots consume 5.3% of your tank with 12 white ink frames
9 degrees of jump rng, perfect grounded accuracy
line marker paint
instantly fires quick shots when shooting out of swim form (also applies to swim rolls surges and walljumps); these shots have no endlag but if you don't swim again after firing then your firerate will return to normal (as well as accuracy, as it will always be perfect
shooting out of swimming)
altkit: bi light rainblaster
porcelain roller: toilet paper handle for the frame, toilet paper roll for the cover
brand: neo ig
rolling puts a 1 tile high wall of ink in front of you that blocks shots
deals 200 dmg when bumping, rolls at 3 tiles per second, consumes 10% of your tank per second of rolling
horizontal flick takes 0.8 seconds (which it spends with the roller directly in front of you) to fling ink 5 tiles and deal 80 dmg (120 up close)
vertical flicks take 2 seconds to fling ink 12 tiles (locking onto the spot it wants to fling to) with no strafe speed decrease and the roller blocking shots all the way behind you
wind up for its roll is 1.8 seconds of moving only 1 tile per second
altkit: gilded porcelain roller
bowl blaster: bowling ball return system
brand: ttek
clicking zr will lock onto a spot (assumed always as your max range (of 5.3 tiles)) and you have 0.43s to aim away from that spot and have your shot curve to the original target
it will always take exactly 0.3 seconds for the shot to curve
directs deal 120 dmg, indirects deal 40
object damage is 2.5x
there is no jump rng as the shot homes in on a target
strafe speed is 0.8x but 0.2x when midair (you're carrying an entire bowling ball return system of course it's heavy)
altkit: pro bowl blaster (its shots have stars)
nozzlespray 20: hose
class: semiauto
brand: dolphin
clicking zr will make it start spraying one large aoe shot constantly, spending 5% of your ink tank every second
can be cancelled by swimming
the ground below and around your line of fire will be painted as if rain was above it
anyone caught within this line of fire will take 8 dmg every 0.1s
your range is 4 tiles, and there is no strafe speed decrease
altkit: watercolor nozzlespray 20
marble slosher: sink except the faucet is gone (and the controls are on the back and ink spews out of the drain)
brand: neo
when on the ground, the ink will be warm, dealing 78.3 damage but not having droplets
when midair, the in will be cold, dealing only 21.7 damage but having droplets (with really good paint and the main slosh also having increased paint (the paint of a burst bomb))
warm range is 3.5 tiles, cold range is 2.3
can slosh every 0.4s (0.21s midair)
0.9x object damage (1.4x midair)
0.7x strafe speed grounded; no strafe decrease midair
altkit: port-okali marble slosher
sharp sniper: sharpie
class: charger
brand: nouveau
takes 0.7s to charge, full charge costs 5% of the tank
2s charge hold, releasing zr while swimming will fire the shot
8 tile range
0.5x strafe speed at full charge
sniping someone or something will paint like half a reefslider and double the paint output of the shot itself
tapshot is fully charged fizzy bomb paint, full charge is curling bomb paint
120 base damage, 2.1x object damage
altkit: aquamarine sharp sniper
brass funneler: trombone
brand: yoko and the gold bazookas
takes 2 seconds to charge, full charge costs 7% tank
no charge hold
shots take 0.4 seconds to travel allowing them to be dodged after they're fired
shots deal 570 damage
range is that of ballpoint's longranged mode
opponents within 2 tiles of the fired shot will have 2 seconds of -15% run speed and -25% intensify action (and taking 20 damage)
paint is the same as if two curling bombs were launched out next to each other
object damage is 0.7x; although the debuffs of being near a fired shot are increased by 20% (hp specials in particular will have their duration reduced by 30%)
altkit: port-okali brass funneler
brass brella: cymbal
brand: yoko and the gold bazookas
shield cannot be damaged, although hitting it decreases the shotgun's accuracy by 7% (stacks; takes 3 seconds to adjust back)
shield does not get launched, but you cannot fire while it's up
firing instantly puts the shield up
no strafe speed decrease
shots travel 2 tiles and deal 34 damage
paint is 12% less than undercover
object damage is 1.2x
altkit: port-okali brass brella
inkjector: syringe
class: blaster
brand: neo
has 11 tiles of range and deals 56 damage on directs
fires every 0.9 seconds
directs have the paint of a burst bomb if it hits less than 5 tiles away and the trail of a curling bomb if it had a fizzy bomb on either side
directs also have knockback of 0.3 tiles
paint will increase by 0.4 tiles per every tile the blast moves after it moves past 5 tiles
damage will also increase by 7.3 per every tile the blast crosses
literally no object damage (although 5 tiles of object knockback (which also applies to stationaries))
when it kills someone it recovers 6% of its ink tank (can be buffed with iru) and instantly paints its feet (with the paint of a fizzy bomb burst)
altkit: inkjector neo
turbo dualies: two jet turbines
brand: custom
has one 3 tile long roll that you can cancel by swimming or steer with the l stick
keeps momentum from rolls allowing it to move midair in turret mode
7 bullets per second; each bullet deals 26.6 damage and costs 0.7% of the ink tank
0.8x strafe speed (1.1x strafe speed after a roll for 1.2s)
0.3 tile paint radius (paints as much as a curling bomb explosion when it hits a target)
range is 4 tiles (6 in turret mode)
roll endlag is 0.6s
altkit: platinum turbo dualies
dualie spacers: https://twitter.com/taroko02/status/1644926248013946881
brand: deco
fires at 2.8 tiles of range and twelve 27 damage bullets per second (with each bullet costing 0.2% of the tank)
has 3 rolls which can cancel each other (though each one has 0.24s of endlag where you cannot fire or walk (swimming still works))
paint is 0.1 tile radius (although it's 0.3 tiles in turret mode)
no strafe speed decrease
1.3x damage in turret mode
0.3s of endlag after using all 3 rolls
the amount of rolls you have left is reset after spending 0.5s in turret mode
2x object damage (1.5x in turret mode)
turret mode has a scope
altkit: port-okali dualie spacers
splatana chipper: twigs vines and iron combined into a sword
brand: stringer
can swing every 0.4 seconds, horizontal slashes deal 20 damage while verticals (which take 0.6s to charge and have 0.8s of cooldown) deal 63 (126 up close)
while vertical slashing, it can dash in any direction (doesn't have to be to where the slash ends up)
0.6x strafe speed
5 tile range, wiper paint x2
clicking zr midair allows you to slam the sword to the ground and deal 2 tile aoe damage (of 320.5)
slam slashing fully paints the area around you (but has 0.9s of endlag)
altkit: birch splatana chipper
splatana jabber: silver spear
brand: foil
swings every 0.7s, horizontal slashes deal 36 damage up to 7 tiles away
doesn't vertical slash, instead it readies a jab with a 3 tile long dash slash (that 1shots anything in the way and paints well)
instantly readies its jab but has 0.4s of endlag
0.3x strafe speed
can have dashslash distance reduced by holding l back for 50% less distance and not holding l for no dashslash
jabs have 1 tile of range (that can be increased by dashslashing)
1.7x object damage (although jabbing will always adjust damage to 1shot its target)
altkit: copper splatana jabber
silverspurt: spray paint bottle
class: semi auto
brand: nouveau
clicking zr will shoot out five 34 damage bullets over 0.5s (clicking it while it shoots will extend its firing duration by 0.2s or 2 bullets)
each bullet has sploosh paint and 4.3 tiles of range
15 degrees of jump rng
no strafe speed decrease
0.12s of endlag after firing (firing can also be cancelled by swimming)
4.7x object damage
altkits: goldspurt & copperspurt
steam roller: steamroller
brand: custom
can only roll, rolling deals 180 damage
rolls at 4.6 tiles per second (5.4 tiles holding b), roll width is 1.5 tiles
rolling costs 4% of your tank per second (6% while holding b)
holding b also makes a loud sound alerting people to your position
ok I lied, it can do a horizontal flick with 2 tiles of range and dynamo paint midair
1.8x object damage
altkit: port-okali steam roller
classic soaker roller: color swapping Y shaped handle with sponge as the thing that uh the uh um hm the uh the paint
UPDATE:
it's called a cover
brand: dolphin
3 tile long, 2 tile wide, 0.5s, 73 damage horizontal flick
5 tile long, 0.6 tiles wide, 0.7s, 146 damage vertical flick
horizontals paint like a swig, verticals paint like a flingza
60 damage when it rolls into someone
rolls over 2 tiles per second but accelerates to octobrush speed over 6 seconds
uses 1% of its ink tank to roll over one tile, though rolling over a tile of enemy ink will refill the tank by 4% and fill your "sponge meter" by 11%
the "sponge meter" basically enhances your flicks and flings, giving the following buffs:
0.2 more tiles of horizontal flick range
9% better horizontal paint
1.3 more horizontal damage
12% less horizontal endlag
4% slower horizontals
0.4 more tiles of vertical flick range
11% better vertical paint
3.9 more vertical damage
12% more object damage on verticals
9% less vertical endlag
8% slower verticals
0.2 more tiles per second of rolling
6.3 more damage when rolling
0.6% better rolling paint
15% less rolling endlag
3% quicker special charge (in general)
for every 6% (per second of roll) 4% (horizontal) or 8% (vertical) of the meter that is full
0.3s of endlag after a horizontal, 0.51s after a vertical
0.8x strafe speed
1.3x object damage
altkit: fresh soaker roller
splatana slugger: baseball bat
brand: ttek
horizontals are balls (with a diameter of 0.2 tiles)
5 tile horizontal range with 15 dmg falloff
swing speed is between wiper and stamper
horizontals have stamper paint and deal 30 dmg (20 extra when the bat hits them)
verticals take 0.3s to charge, 0.4s of england, and aim 15 degrees up
verticals have 7.3 tiles of range, 65 damage, and 3 tiles of knockback (1 tile of upward knockback)
25 vertical falloff damage
funny sound when you closeup vertical someone and it also deals 3x as much knockback (and 90 damage)
horizontals cost 5% of your ink tank, verticals cost 8%
1.6x object damage
altkits: dark splatana slugger, light splatana slugger
blade roller: lawnmower
brand: custom
rolls 2 tiles per second and takes 11% of your tank per second rolling
rolling does no damage grounded but does 6 tiles of knockback
midair rolling does 123.45 damage but moves 60% slower
1 tile wide roll trail
horizontal flick costs 9% of your tank, deals 67.89 damage, and swings like a sword (chaining horizontals acts like mashing zr with wiper)
h flicks take 0.4s to wind up and have 0.2s of cooldown
vertical flicks have the entire lawnmower behind you
they also have 14 tiles of range and 99.99 damage (and cost 20% of your tank)
verts take 0.8s to wind up and reduce your strafe speed to 0.12x what it was originally
hitting someone with the actual lawnmower will always adjust to 1shot them
0.3x object damage
altkit: diamond blade roller
splatana rainblade: remember how you'd connect markers together when you were a kid and pretend they were a sword
brand: nouveau
slashes every 0.24s, range is 5.7 tiles, damage is 34 (68 within one tile), ink consumption is 2.3%
paint is that of pencil
verticals take 0.35s to charge and have an infinite charge hold
releasing zr during the charge hold forces you out of swim form and releases the slash
vertical range is 6.9 tiles, damage is 42 (126 up close), ink consumption is 8%
vertical cooldown is 0.23s
vertical paint is that of two pencils
vertical cooldown is negated by jumping but it has 25% less paint midair
strafe speed in both attack modes is 0.6x
dash is 1.5 tiles (1.3 tiles midair) with 0.3s of endlag (during which you move 30% slower)
1.2x object damage
altkit: flashy splatana rainblade
aerosplatling: air fryer
brand: neo foil collab
takes 0.9s to charge
fires 10 shots per second, has 3.6s of firing at full charge
charges and fires twice as fast midair
has 3 phases of charging each of which taking 0.3s to charge and lasting 1.2s
midair range is 6.5 tiles, grounded range is 8.3
midair damage is 40, grounded damage is 20
midair ink cost per shot is 1.1%, grounded ink cost per shot is 0.7%
rechargeable but every recharge takes 15% longer than the last
you can't recharge past the phase you started recharging on
6 white ink frames per shot
0.8s charge hold
0.8x strafe speed when grounded
1.75x object damage
altkit: 3mix aerosplatling (foil + neo + port-okali)
w-snipe 09: wii fucking bow
class: stringer
brand: niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiintendo
scoped and takes 0.5s to charge
6 degree shot rng
one shot that travels 8 tiles per second
full shot costs 6% of your tank, deals 40 damage with indirects (I'll explain later), and has 8 tiles of range
0.72x strafe speed
full shots have a 0.1 tile indirect radius that deals 40 damage and gives you 5 "points"
hitting indirects will not cost "points" that you already have
hitting directs will deal 65 damage then have ((points*shots hit)/1.5) added to the damage count with your points being subtracted, before giving you 10 points in return
getting points will display the amount of points you got above your head (for indirects in blue and for directs in yellow)
no object damage multiplier
altkit: w-snipe 07
gale wheeler: the crunchlabs disc launcher
class: "wheeler"
brand: deco
click zr to launch a circular ink blot forward
the attack deals 42 damage and has 6 tiles of range (which it travels through over the course of 0.6 seconds)
each pop costs 5% of your ink tank and has 0.2s of endlag
30 white ink frames
3 degrees of jump rng
pops paint in a 0.5 tile radius and leave a 0.4 tile wide trail
1.5 object damage
altkit: port-okali gale wheeler
(At a Dockside warehouse a shady deal was being done-apparently the only places this shit goes down-and the Metal Organic Chip,accompanied by his graduated Disciple Fluffers took the lead and decided to see what was going down)
Chip:What you see Fluffs?”
Fluffers:(Looking through the binoculars)Fluffers sees…..a ton of guys in black suits and some in regular street clothes….and they got a small silver case”
Chip:Drug deal...should’ve known,well(get’s out his swords)time to get these cunts…..(sees two figures)and here’s our first victims”
(Chip signals Fluffers to try and do a sneak attack)
Chip:I take the big guy,you take the tiny one(he whispers as Fluffers nods in agreement)”
(They walk up and grab their victims but before they could stab them…..)
????:Chip it’s me…..”
Chip:(Bringing them into the light)Gumball???”
Colonel Gumball:Yes it’s me...and Lil Sting”
Lil Sting:Bzz Bzz Bzzzzz(*What the HELL MAN?)”
Chip:What the Fuck are you two doing here?”
Colonel Gumball:We got a tip from an Anonymous email that something was going down,why are you here??”
Chip:Same shit as you…..except email??”
Colonel Gumball:Yes what’s wrong with that?”
Chip:Well it’s 2019,where’s your Iphone?”
Colonel Gumball:In one of my pouches,besides I only use it to talk to my kids and grandkids...not tech savvy”
Lil Sting:Bzz Bzz Bzzzz(*I offer to teach him but he refuses)”
Colonel Gumball:I’m 63 years old and a War Veteran I think I can handle a damn Computer Phone….”
Chip:Well since it’s just us wanna…..”
Lil Sting:BZZ BZZZZ BZZZZZ(*Guys they’re bringing out a crate)”
(As the two sides make a deal the Street guys bring out a crate)
Street Leader:The Thing you guys want is in there,I lost a lot of my Amigos to get it so your boss best pay a hefty fee for their Familia…”
Black Suit Leader:I assure you Senior Odega,your um……’men’ won’t have died in vain….”
“Sorry Gentle-Pricks….(Chip,Fluffers,Lil Sting,and Colonel Gumball pop out and the carnage begins)”
Odega:YOU SET US UP JAPANESE MAN!!!!!”
Jukio(Black Suits Leader):YOU WERE TIPPED OFF BUT NOT BY US!!!!!”
Odega:Well too late(points a gun at him)adios muchacho”
(A loud bang is heard but it wasn’t from Odega…...it was from another shooter)
Jukio:(Standing up)I thank you Mighty Metal Organic for-(shoots Jukio in both legs)GAAAAAAAH”
(The scream can be heard from all over the docks)
Chip:There is only one guy I know who shoots so precise it can make a man scream that loud….”
(The figure comes out dragging the now crippled Jukio)
????:Hello Chip”
Chip:Cross-Shot you son bitch”
Cross-Shot:I take it we all got the same message?”
Chip:Seems like it…..”
(On the other side 2 of Odega’s men flee to the crate)
Thug 1:Dios Mio,Senior Odega is dead…..”
Thug 2:This is a failed sting cous,we need to get the Hell out of here…..”
“I seriously doubt that”
(Chip,Cross-Shot,Fluffers,Lil Sting and Colonel Gumball look at the 2)
Cross-Shot:Come quietly and give us answers we’ll let you live…..”
Thug 1:We don’t know shit man……”
Thug 2:Boss Man just said give what’s in the crate to the Jappos….”
Chip:Huh….”
Cross-Shot:Curious to see what’s in the crate?”
Chip:No...that a Mexican used Jappo….I thought I was the only one that had beef with the Japanese?”
Cross-Shot:Still won’t let it go….”
Chip:I look like Fucking Elsa to you?”
Colonel Gumball:Boys shall we return to our mission?”
(They go inside the Warehouse and Lil Sting gives a crowbar to the Street Thugs)
Thug 2:Da Hell you want us to do?”
Fluffers:He wants you to open it”
Thug 1:OH FUCK NO….the thing killed our Amigos….(he heard the click of guns)well maybe it’s asleep now….”
Chip:The Fuck is in that thing anyway?”
Thug 2:All I know is 15 of our crew found it in the sewers…..only 6 came back….”
Chip:Shit that sucks….”
(Thug 1 opens the crate and looks inside)
Thug 1:I…..I think it’s(just then a claw comes out and grabs him)EEEEEEAAAAAAH(loud scrunches can be heard)”
Chip:OH FUCK!!!!!!!”
(And in a flash the thing Jumps on Thug 2)
Thug 2:(Screaming like a bitch)AAAAAAAAH GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF(but the thing rips a chunk out of his throat and chest)GLUUUHBUUUGUUUUH”
(The 5 Anti-Heroes stare at what appears to be…..a Hammerhead Shark but with the Arms and Legs of a man)
Chip:Holy shit it can’t be…..?”
Colonel Gumball:I reckon you know what this is?”
Chip:Yeah,.....He’s a genetic experiment for this...Hammerhead Shark fan who was an Evil geneticist,made tons of these little bastards to do this bidding,Heard the Weirdos took him down his experiments were captured,this one must have been a lucky one”
(Just then the Shark Man’s lips began to move)
Shark-Man:You…..you with them????”
Chip:These Fuck-Faces?”
Cross-Shot:We are not….how..how did they?”
Shark-Man:They...came for me….Squinty eyed yellow men one side…..brown men other…..they shoot at me,I get mad…..I attack,next I knew they shot me and I wake up in crate,scared…..and cold…..”
(Everyone looks at each other in sad faces)
Lil Sting:Bzz Bzzzzz Bzz(*You poor thing…..)”
Cross-Shot:Do you have a name?”
Shark-Man:Huh????a what?(He says confused)”
Chip:A name you know….like I’m Chip,this is Cross-Shot,Fluffers,Lil Sting and Gumball…”
Colonel Gumball:Colonel Gumball…..”
Shark-Man:I…..don’t have a name…..”
Chip:Well we gotta think of something…..because ‘Shark-Man’ makes you sound like if Taylor Lautner wanted to be a grown up version of his old character Shark Boy…..”
Shark-Man:I remembered...watching a show….a ‘Car-Toon’.....had a boy with….flying wish granters…..”
Chip:He talking about ‘Fairly Oddparents’?”
Colonel Gumball:My Grandkids love that show….”
Shark-Man:I liked the boys name……’Timmy’.....”
Cross-Shot:Would you like to be called Timmy?”
Timmy(Shark Man):Yes….yes I do…..”
Chip:A shark man named Timmy…..well weirder shit has happened before….”
Fluffers:(Holding Timmy’s hand)Stick with us and we’ll show you the ropes”
Chip:WOAH WOAH WOAH-we came just to stop a potential drug deal…...not adopt a homeless Shark Man”
Cross-Shot:Speaking of which…..anyone get the case”
Everyone:(Thinking and altogether said)SHIT!!!!!”
Cross-Shot:I take that as a No……”
(In truth a small copter picked up the case and flew off,it flew all the way to Japan and entered a building through a secret compartment as a muscley Gentleman grabs it,and walks into a very dark office,he then walks up to a desk with his employer)
Muscle Gentleman:Excuse to bother you but it seems Jukio’s negotiation with the Sand-Mutts went……’off script’ as they put it Miss”
????:Were they on to them?”
MG:Someone was…..but it wasn’t the Sand-Mutts….(takes out a small usb from the plane and gives it to his boss)”
????:Let’s see what stories you hold Lil’ Friend(she puts it in and sees a video of Chip,Cross-Shot,Colonel Gumball,Lil Sting,Fluffers and even Timmy the Shark Man when her people went hunting for him)My My….”
MG:Seems like someone tipped off some…..heroes I suppose… and they made away with Professor Hammerhead’s pet…..what should we do Miss Siskue Marisaki?”
Siskue:For now…...we wait(as she looks at the screen of the group’s first mission…..and maybe their last….”
for 3 years I’ve been content with only following OW shit loosely cause i hate shooters like this & now they DARE to release an actual star-eyed gravity-defying nerd and i’m now CONSIDERING getting this shit just so i could go be a space grandpa and throw gravity gumballs at folks
So i saw Matpat’s latest video about shared universes (starting with Doom and somehow connecting it with Kingdom Hearts) and my crazy brain thought it would be a good idea to expand it even FURTHER all because he used Spider-Man to connect to Thanos in Fortnite (yes seriously)
So behold, all the shit i had to go through to make connections to everything i can find and think of
So since all Spider-Mans are in one multiverse, that means all versions of Spider-Man are canon, so let's look at two cases of alternate Spider-Mans. Theres the Japanese Spider-Man, which was created by Toei as a collab by Marvel, Toei also created Super Sentai, which has connections to Kamen Rider (Super Hero Taisen), Metal Hero (some crossover movies), and obviously Power Rangers. Power Rangers had a crossover with TMNT, which has connections to not only other versions of TMNT but also other series like Batman (basically the whole DC universe is involved), Archie, X-Files, Ghostbusters, Rabbids (they were an extra character in a fighting game, as like a promotion for the new game), and all the toons that showed up in Cartoon All-Stars, like the Smurfs, Alf, Garfield, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Winnie the Pooh (which is already tying back up to Kingdom Hearts), Muppet Babies, Looney Toons, and Ducktales.
Now Muppet Babies is part of the Muppet franchise, the Muppets are connected to Sesame Street, which opens up a can of worms for connections. Some characters cameoed in Between the Lions, Mr Rogers' Neighbor Hood, The Electric Company, Reading Rainbow, Poky Little Puppy, and a bunch of these characters appeared in a We are Family music video, which has *inhales* Bear in the Big Blue House, Barney, Arthur, The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, Rugrats, The Magic School Bus, SpongeBob SquarePants, Dora the Explorer, Blue's Room, Blue's Clues, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Kim Possible, The Proud Family, LazyTown, Lilo & Stitch: the Series, Madeline,Little Bill, The Fairly OddParents, Zoom, AND a whole bunch more shows.
Obviously Jimmy Neutron and Fairly Odd Parents had a crossover (three in fact), but those other shows had crossovers too, like Rugrats having a crossover with Wild Thornberrys, Lilo and Stitch had crossovers too, they had crossovers with The Proud Family, Kim Possible, Recess, and American Dragon Jake Long. Spongebob is connected to a lot of Nicktoons shows through the bumpers on the channel and had a major crossovers with Fairly Odd Parents, Danny Phantom, Jimmy Neutron, Tak, and Invader Zim in the Nicktoons Unite games.
Looney Toons is connected to all other Hanna Barbera property, which had crossovers as well (look at Scooby Doo and Tom and Jerry, they're LOADED with crossovers with other series), as for the Looney Toons cast themselves, examples include Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Pokemon (in a commercial in Kids WB), The Justice League, Wild Kratts (Kinda? The two characters, Road Runner and Wild E. Coyote, were pretty much referenced as a way to say that real life coyotes can catch up to road runners), and The Amazing World of Gumball. And Pokemon had a crossover game with Nobunaga's Ambition called Pokemon Conquest. AND Ducktales is connected to Darkwing Duck and the same goes with the reboot.
Okay now back to where we started, Power Rangers had a crossover episode with Masked Rider, which is an adaptation of Kamen Rider Black RX, Kamen Rider had a FEW crossovers with other series, like Crayon Shin-chan, Pac-Man, Osomatsu-San, Hello Kitty, Pretty Cure, and a few others. Pretty Cure only had crossovers with itself but there is one pic floating around the internet showing one of the Cures standing in front of Arresterdramon Superior Mode, so it might hint to a commercial happening during that time. Hello Kitty has a ton of crossovers with different series, such as Sonic, Cookie Run, Pac-Man, Puzzles and Dragons, Doraemon, Yokai Watch, and several others. In Osomatsu-San Hesokuri Wars, they have costumes/sets of the six brothers being yokai, magical girls, monsters, angels, knights, super heroes, greek
gods, and others. Yokai is also connected to Yokai Watch, which has it's own crossovers with other series, like Final Fantasy, Terminator, Inazuma Eleven (which had commercials that crossed over with Despicable Me), The Seven Deadly Sins, Detective Conan, Hello Kitty (which brings this back to Hello Kitty and its crossovers), Inuyasha, Professor Layton, and several others. Professor Layton had a crossover game with Ace Attorney, which has many references and a small amount of crossovers.
Now let's move on to another Spider-Man, the one from Ultimate Spider-Man, obviously he's connected to the other Marvel shows that take place in that universe, but Spider-Man had crossover episodes/specials with Phineas and Ferb and Jessie, Jessie having connections with other Disney Sit-com shows like Austin and Ally, Good Luck Charlie, Liv and Maddie, and a few others, HOWEVER Mr. Moseby from the Suite Life of Zach and Cody appeared in one episode, which means that Jessie is in the same universe as That's So Raven, Hannah Montanna, Cory in the House (yeah yeah yeah, i can hear the anime memes from a mile away -_-), and Wizards of the Waverly Place. Phineas and Ferb also had crossover specials/episodes with Star Wars and Milo Murphy's Law, Star Wars has many crossovers and references in other shows, like the Muppets, Seasame Street, Captain N, Mario (in that old Mario cartoon episode where they parodied it), Putt-Putt, Megaman, Duke Nukem, Star Trek, Indiana Jones, Dragon Ball, Transformers, Metal Gear, Angry Birds, Lego, Club Penguin, and several others.
The Star Wars references were in Megaman V and Megaman Zero, sprites from Megaman Zero were used to create sprites of TV Tome Adventures, which then became TOME: Terrain of Magical Expertise and then it turned into the video game version of that show, the creator of the show, Kirbopher, did an animation related to Super Mario RPG, and had many voice roles like in Mob Psycho 100, Pokemon, and other series. Dragon Ball is the prequel of Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball Z Super made it clear that there's other universes so all of those are connected as well, and Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z had crossovers with other shows like One Piece, Dr Slump, Astro Boy, Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo, and a few others. Metal Gear had crossovers and references in Terminator, Gundam, Castlevania, Mario, Zelda, Ape Escape, Yugioh (which connects itself to the other seasons like GX, 5D's, Zexal, Arc-V, and Vrains), Monster Rancher, Yoshi, The Standley Parable (only in the demo), and several others. Transformers, since it's made by Hasbro, is also connected to other Hasbro property, such as My Little Pony (and Equestria Girls), and they had references to other series in both the show and in the IDW comics, like pony versions of Rick and Morty appearing in one episode, pony versions of characters from Sailor Moon, Gravity
Falls, Kill La Kill, Scooby Doo, Powerpuff Girls, Frozen, and few other shows and even pony versions of IRL people like Gordon Ramsey. Transformers had crossovers and references to other series as well such as G.I Joe, Doctor Who, Spider Man, Star Wars, Marvel, and several other shows, and apparently Jem, Inhumanoids, C.O.P.S, and Robotix takes place in the Transformers universe.
Angry Birds had crossovers with other series like Rio, Star Wars, Puzzles and Dragons, Transformers, Sonic, The Muppets, and many levels in their games make references to other series. Lego Dimensions is full of crossovers, like The A-Team, Adventure Time, Back to the Future, Beetlejuice, DC Comics, Doctor Who, E.T, Fantastic Beasts, Ghostbusters (both the original and the 2016 reboot), The Goonies, Gremlins, Harry Potter, Jurassic World, Knight Rider, Legends of Chima, other Lego property, Lord of the Rings, Midway Arcade, Mission: Impossible, Portal, Powerpuff Girls, Scooby-Doo, Simpsons, Sonic, Teen Titans Go!, and The Wizard of Oz. Speaking of The Simpsons, they had crossovers with other shows like Family Guy and Futurama, AND they cameoed appeared in South Park, and Family Guy is in the same universe as American Dad and The Cleveland Show. The Simpsons also had crossovers with The Critic, X-Files, King of the Hill, Robot Chicken, Bob's Burgers (which means it's also connected to the Archer Show), Rick and Morty, and several series get mentioned in the show itself. As for Sonic, he had a crossover comic series with Megaman, he had crossovers in the comics with Sabrina the Teenage Witch and DC (it was part of a Sonic Super Special comic but for some reason the Wikis won't tell me if it's generally DC or some part of it >:/ ), Sonic had levels in Sonic Lost World that were crossovers with NiGHTS, Legend of Zelda, and Yoshi's Wooly World, in Sonic Forces, there's DLC costumes that are based off of NiGHTS, Beat from Jet Set Radio, AiAi from Super Monkey Ball, and Joker from Persona 5. Sonic had crossover games with other SEGA series, but in Sonic Dash, they had events that had crossovers with Angry Birds, Hello Kitty, and Pac-Man. In one of the Vocaloid games, Miku had a costume that was a Sonic hoodie, to celebrate Sonic's anniversary, Vocaloid made many songs and some of these songs branch out into their own series, one of them being Black Rock Shooter, and i swear BRS was a guest character in some fighting game but i don't remember what the name was.
Okay, now let's head back to Marvel, one of the characters that's paired up with Spider-Man (except for the Movie universe) is Deadpool, and in one comic, he takes a girl to see Hamilton. In one of the Hamildrops, they did a crossover song which was a mix of Story of Tonight and You'll be Found from Dear Evan Hansen called "Found Tonight", one of the actors from Dear Evan Hansen is now playing the role of Jeremy in Be More Chill, and in the original 2015 performance of BMC, the actor who played Jenna also played Martha in Heathers, and Eric William Morris, who played Squip, also played Jordan in The Ballad of Little Jo. And since we're using actors to connect series...*inhales* Lin Manuel Miranda (who plays Alexander in Hamilton) also had roles in In The Heights, 21 Chump Street, Mary Poppins Returns, Ducktales Reboot, Do No Harm, Looking for Maria Sanchez, Sesame Street, House M.D, and a few others. Mary Poppins Returns is a sequel to the original Mary Poppins so they instantly connect, and i'm gonna make a crazy theory of House M.D taking place in the same city (or state) as Blue Bloods and Forever, both shows have characters played by Eric William Morris, who had roles in Trust, Greed, Bullets, and Bourbon, Royal Pains, As The World Turns, and few other small roles. But one of his current roles is Carl from King Kong Broadway, which is based off of King Kong, and King Kong had a crossover film with Godzilla, and there's a short film that had Ultraman and Kamen Rider (i think it was Godzilla?? It was a giant lizard thing :/). However, King Kong was the inspiration behind Donkey Kong, which now has connections to both Mario and Donkey Kong series. Donkey Kong had crossovers/references with Frogger, Pitfall, Qubert, Mickey (from Disney), Punch Out, Mother, Earthworm Jim, Kirby, Crash Bandicoot, Banjo Kazooie, Pokemon, Animal Crossing, Scott Pilgrim, The Fast and the Furious, Class of 3000, Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!, Big Bang Theory, Metroid, Pushmo, Minecraft, Gravity Falls, Wreck It Ralph, Pixels, Skylanders, several others, and had japanese exclusive songs in Donkey Konga that had songs from Super Sentai, Pretty Cure, Pikmin, Naruto, Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo, Fullmetal Alchemist, Dragon Ball Z, Star Fox, Fire Emblem, Kid Icarus, Ice Climbers, and several others.
Minecraft had a Super Mario texture pack in the Switch version of Minecraft, plus a Steven Universe texture pack as well, there are console exclusive skins based off of characters from Gears of War, Halo, Banjo-Kazooie, Dust, Tony Hawk, Left 4 Dead, Boarderlands, Conker, Half-Life, Portal, Assassin's Creed, Mass Effect, and several other shows. Steve from Minecraft can be an unlockable character in games like Super Meat Boy, Choplifter, Retro City Rampage, and Creepers can be found in Blocks that Matter, Boarderlands, Torchlight, and Minecraft is refernced in Adventure Time, Octodad, The Stanley Parable, Skyrim, and South Park. And since Minecraft has Halo skins, this ties into Red VS Blue, a show that uses assets from the Halo series. And Red VS Blue appeared in a promotional video alongside the main cast of RWBY. Mother (or Earthbound) is the inspiration for Undertale, which had a sequel called Deltarune, and in one of the locations in Deltarune is a place called "Ice-E's Pezza", and Burgerpants mentions a guy named "Purple Guy" which is a reference to Purple Guy from Five Nights at Freddies. Crash Bandicoot had two crossover games with Spyro the Dragon and had references in Uncharted, Futurama, Johnny Test, Family Guy, Jimmy Neutron, The Country Bears, Jak and Daxter, Friends, The Simpsons, Tomb Raider, and several others. And Mickey is one of the characters in Kingdom Hearts, so now we come in full circle with Matpat's theory.
So started with Spider-man (well two versions of Spider-man) and ended it with Mickey, i'm sure there's other series out there that i forgot to bring up but eh, this is long enough :/
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It is hard to find a person in this world, who doesn’t know the most famous plumber – Mario. We know him from the first days of consoles and remember both a great soundtrack and addictive gameplay, where you need to run and jump on the heads of mushrooms-predators. The green tubes to get down to the dungeons, golden coins, monstrous dinosaur-boss, and of course – a charming Princes, who is always somewhere in another castle. Sorry, Mario. This surely was an experience of our childhood, so bright and thrilling that it is impossible to forget. A slight touch of psychedelia was so amazing and fairy-tale-looking. Now we play this game because of that sense of nostalgia, but the developers don’t let us get bored and enjoy our warm emotions only. They have prepared something really new, fresh, unique and great. Saving the best old features we all know.
It’s very easy to play free Mario games, you do not need to download or install anything, you can play Mario games online right in your browser window. The only thing required is Adobe Flash Player, which is mostly embedded in every browser. Play now Super Mario Maker Pc online on Kiz10.com. Have fun playing Super Mario Maker Pc One of the best Adventures Game on Kiz10.com. Adventure Time Games Arcade Games Crazy Games Family Games Friv Games Horror Games Mobile Games Police Games Retro Games Tom and Jerry Games.io Games Dragon Games Five Nights at Freddy's Games Monster Games 2 Players Games Aliens Games Cartoon Network Games Lego Games Gumball Games Minecraft Games Mario Games Motorbike Games Parking Games Power. New Super Mario Bros 3 Date Added: 2020-01-16 Genres: Adventure Games,Mario Games Description: A complete homebrew remake of Super Mario Bros 3 created by Pacnsacdave. This game features all-new graphics, new levels, and all new music. An awesome new take on Super Mario Bros 3. It's also a short game so can be beaten pretty quickly. Free Super Mario Games for Computer, Laptop or Mobile. In this section FreeGamePick team collected a games with Mario from the classic fully replicate platformers to modern Mario games with interesting tasks and missions. Mario - is a legendary carachter well know among gamers. You can meet him and become friends in our Mario games!
Try Mario Maker, a platform title, where you have an access to the game-creation features. As such, this is your chance to build levels, arrange adventures for Mario and his friends, and become a real designer of the entire process. There are two parts of the game that already have gained incredible success around the world. Both of them are available at our platform and you can play them for free! However, there are more good news for all Mario fans – the third part is also awaited and we will see it approximately in 2020. As always, our website will be the first one to locate the third part for your enjoyment, so track the updates! And now let’s get back to the existing titles and discuss their pros. You will see that they are worth your attention for sure! So, here we go.
The first part of Mario Maker was a real hit in the world of gaming. Numerous positive reviews from players and professional reviewers were literally snowing. The reason is simple – Mario Maker is one of the best sandbox titles ever existed. You have an access to a large collection of editing and creative tools to use. Mario will put a helmet on his head and change his qualification a bit – now he is not just a regular plumber (or not so regular, maybe) but a builder, creator and an artist. The time has come to create worlds, so join him in this amazing activity. You can tailor the levels of your dream, deciding how to place the platform, where to locate prizes and enemies, and this your field for fantasy. After you are done, you can publish your masterpiece and play it. Other gamers, who are online at the moment, can check your creation as well. There are various game modes and these modes decide how the enemies and bosses will behave. The physics are also variable. There are numerous elements to include in your levels, but you will have to try them all in practice before you understand how they all work together. Yes, the game doesn’t give you any tutorials and samples, everything depends on your own ideas and decisions. Chances are that you will have to make a couple of tries before you figure out how to create something that you planned from the very beginning.
The second part of Mario Maker is pretty much the same as the first one. The main difference, of course, is that the developers added numerous new tools and instruments here, so your levels will become even more customizable now. The number of possible combinations grows, so the quantity of variants of levels grows as well. You can make the enemies trickier than they are in the original Mario games. For example, the mushrooms can be increased in size and even become flying mushrooms, because you can add wings to their bodies. Can you imagine what types of monsters you can create now? So check this award-winning title right now and we bet that you will have a really good time with new Mario!
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In this section FreeGamePick team collected a games with Mario from the classic fully replicate platformers to modern Mario games with interesting tasks and missions. Mario - is a legendary carachter well know among gamers. You can meet him and become friends in our Mario games! These games are good for all ages.
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Help Mario avoid obstacles riding on a motorcycle in the Mario Bike game! Shoot your enemies down in the Mario Shotgun Adventure and much more! Also you can meet a famous game hero who named Sonic in the Sonic Lost in Mario World game. You can go to the sky in the Super Mario Sky Shooter! If you are looking for some fun just try Angry Mario game. You will never be bored with colorful and exciting Mario games! Plunge into amazing adventures with this heroes of the game industry beginning. Explore wonderful Mario world and his story. Save the princess Peach from an evil forces.
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Monday Chat #5 – Video Games: A Constant Cycle of Rehashed Ideas?
So today’s topic originates from this Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/gamedev/comments/6slno9/cartoon_network_stole_my_game/?utm_content=title&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit
Basically what happened is that the creator of the flash game A Dance of Fire and Ice found that their was a Cartoon Network flash game strangely similar in concept released on their website…
Now, to be fair, A Dance of Fire and Ice is one of the top rated (and most played) Kongregate rhythm games whereas Cartoon Network tends to throw out their flash games every month or so to make way for content more relevant to the current programming; so overall, this specific instance isn’t that big of a deal. But what about the concept in general? After all, this has happened plenty of times – Bejeweled and Candy Crush, Crush the Castle and Angry Birds, and Pandemic and Plague Inc (just to name a few). So is there something inherently and morally wrong with the concept of “Great artists steal”, or is there some justification in it after all?
Now in order to really get a case on what a true “rip off” is, we need to focus on two things: style and substance. Let’s take an example with the CN debacle. A Dance of Fire and Ice and the CN game both have the same core gameplay element – rhythm based timing game based on two constantly rotating sprites that one has to time correctly to keep on the path. However, in style, both games differ – Dance has more of a concrete, minimalist style that models after the two elements which the game is named after, whereas the CN game… just has a bunch of shitty Gumball sprites. Secondly, there’s the substance – there’s the fact that its clear the CN game doesn’t run on Dance’s stolen code, cause the game runs like shit. That means that there’s only on real similarity between the two – the gameplay. But is gameplay copyright-able?
As you’ve probably been able to tell, of course not. There’s plenty of turn based RPGs, or first person shooters, or 3D collectathon platformers. Once one person makes a subgenre, its free for people to refine and edit themselves – as long as they make their own source code. After all, we don’t see people paying royalties to the creator of Wolfenstein, do we?
Another thing though, and perhaps a bit bigger of a deal, is with the size of the business. Bigger businesses can market better than individuals, and thus the mainstream appeal of two very similar games can go to a later game rather than an earlier one. Rovio probably had a much bigger budget to advertise Angry Birds than Armor Games had for Crush the Castle, and Armor Games had a bigger budget than all the other small developers doing similar games way before that! There’s also the choice of distribution. Crush the Castle was originally flash exclusive, which only has the audience of the every diminishing minority of those who play flash games. Rovio, however, took a chance with the ever expanding mobile app market and it ended up paying off big time. So, although people might not like it, business sense does play some part in it.
Now, all these games discussed so far have been fairly different in style and substance, but there is a possibility of blatant rip offs succeeding over the originals. Such is the case often within the mobile market. For a specific example, back in 2014 the app Bad Apples, a blatant stolen version of Cards Against Humanity, reached the top of the app store, causing it to overshadow Cards by over tenfold. Fortunately, due to some clever marketing by Cards Against Humanity – and the poor development upkeep by the Bad Apples creators – Cards was able to regain its spot in popular culture as the original adult party game. Still, one might consider poor moderation of the App Store like this proven case to lead to many other undiscovered rip offs that succeed the original in popularity by many times.
Now, to go back to the main question – is the original always the best? After all, is it really that much of a shame that the content rich and well maintained Plague Inc is more popular than the fairly barebones Pandemic series? Honestly, I think that as long as there are not blatant rip offs of a game, it’s fine to have a sub genre generate and to enjoy better, later games that come out of it. It’s always good to remember the roots, but it’s not mandatory to love them. So while the developer behind A Dance of Fire and Ice isn’t exactly justified in his worry, I think he’s in pretty safe hands.
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Just a quick heads up – there will be no new Monday Chat next week. I’m moving into university, and then on that weekend am going to a related camping trip, sparing me no time to write. But hopefully after that I’ll be able to make room for continuing to make new posts in my schedule.
Currently reading: I finished Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka in a single night, and damn was it darker than I expected – a great read, and worth spending a couple of hours on. Still, I’ve decided I’m going to chill on the digital library for now, seeing that my physical book collection is pretty sparse and I can probably run through them fairly fast. I’ll probably make this my main backlog goal going into university.
Currently watching: As I mentioned before, I saw Dunkirk in theaters. While I really enjoyed the movie, I still don’t understand Christopher Nolan’s insistence on adding some level of non-linearity to his stories, even if they don’t make any sense. In this movie its particularly blatant – each story takes place a certain amount of time from each other, a la one week, one day, and one hour. But the stories all end up lining up in the end… so what’s the point? It seems like Nolan just added this in since people know him as “the weird mindfuck story guy” and kind of as an afterthought. I feel like the movie would’ve been a bit more cleaner and more coherent without this in place. Still, despite this – I mean, it’s a Nolan movie, right? – it’s still damn good. 8/10.
Currently playing: Mostly Skyrim and Mount and Blade Warband mods… though I DID start running a new NCAA Footbal 09 dynasty game (you know, what all the cool kids are doing right now) with the plan of making a long game that would use the import feature for Madden 09’s franchise mode (pretty basic stuff, everyone knows this), but then I remembered I was going into college and probably didn’t have time to do all this. Whoops.
Currently listening: Been picking up on a few new tracks. INOJ’s Time After Time cover has some pretty bumpin’ aesthetic. My Dead Girlfriend’s Danke is a solid banger. Other than that, I’ve been listening to some miscellaneous KPM tracks.
Well, that’s all for now. Remember to follow Codex of Aegis on Twitter and Facebook for more updates.
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Sala Avenue makes me think of Haik’s Shoe Store and the tight apartment we were stuffed into upstairs of the preJefferson Bank Building. It was between living along the levee in Bridge City and the old funeral home on D and 5th.
The block was our entire world and it made the Earth seem like a galaxy full of things and people alien to us. Our world ended at the curb and beyond there be dragons. We could play outside all day, and would to escape the apartment. We’d pretend the shoe store of a western town bank (it even said BANK in the ledger above the door) and would rob it repeatedly, mostly sporting cap guns shooting blanks.
Home by sundown and you’d better not get caught beyond that curb unless you wanted Daddy’s belt. He worked nights for the shift differential so the threat of Mom telling Daddy of an indiscretion often lasted until he woke in the afternoon or could wake the night till morning if committed late enough.
The anticipation was often far worse than the punishment. I don’t recall my father ever hurting anything beyond my pride with a belt or switch. Though I knew some fathers who did, and mothers too. Mine recognized the power of disappointment and wielded it effectively.
I don’t think he liked or appreciated Mom always using him as and making him the heavy so there were plenty of times where we would aggravate her to the point of calling out for him to ‘speak’ to one of us and he’d jeeringly call out, “Hello [whoever],” and we loved him all the more for being on our side from time to time. He’d wiggle his ears or the tip of his nose and we’d roll with laughter and Mom would turn a boiling red.
I remember, and know that my memories consist of a collective of raw remembrances, the memory of stories of events, and pure poetic license, Mrs. Haik, in my mind, would be a mix of an older auburn haired Jean Stapleton with a mix of the exoticism of Rona Barrett. This could be spot-on or 180 degrees off.
I remember squares of green and black tile, wooden shelves stuffed with boxes and the smell of leather and shoe polish. The amazing technicalities of the measuring devices and the general handiness of a capable shoe horn.
Mrs. Haik and my Mom were friends I think. Mom, always wanting to have her own business, idolized Mrs. Haik in a way and it seems to stick in my head that they saw things eye to eye. I think the friendship at least helped spawn Mom’s idea to open the ‘store’ in the big house.
I kinda remember Mr. Haik being disabled though I couldn’t say what with. We would bother Mom with random, pointless questions while she ‘visited’ with Mrs. Haik. Though there were often times she’d catch us sneaking in like a prowler trying desperately to not disturb the bells and give ourselves away. She’d stop us with a snap and turn us about with a finger, foiled and dejected.
The effort for us was two fold, to get out fair skins into the cooler shadows of the store and hopefully look cute enough to be offered a gumball as big and shiny as a shooter or even better a cold longneck Barq’s or a green bottled coke. With the coke, anticipation often exceeded patience and we’d have to lift the bottle high to discover its exotic origin.
It was best to find a new name you could dream the day away thinking of what such a place held. And if it were worthy of being added to the list of places to visit one day. A world tour of coke factories how cool that would be. The things we dreamed of doing and would do every bit of it the very day we turned eighteen.
I think of the bar next door with what I remember being a Falstaff sign though I have no recollection of the bar’s name. It seems like it was painted on the picture window that was curtained like sheetrock.
I would be out on the thin front stoop of Haik’s playing with marbles or blocks or drawing on the sidewalk with chalk and I’d see the old men speed walk with jittery nerves, tall and chiseled to the bar and later leaning into a hunchbacked stagger as if bracing stiff headwinds on their way home. In their forties or maybe fifties, you know old, their weathered faces held demon eyes eternally bloodshot and they were sickly thin, pants baggy and bunched at the waist.
I think it’d be fun to stand there on the corner of 3rd and Sala just after a late afternoon shower on a hot southern day and soak in the memories rising like steam from the sidewalk. To sit on the low stoop and draw in chalk on the concrete. To remember how small my world once was and how small it still seems today.