#grasshopper cake

[morethansalad]

Vegan Grasshopper Cake

#vegan #desserts #cake #grasshopper cake #american cuisine #cacao #plant milk #apple cider vinegar #frosting #vegan butter #vanilla #shortening #peppermint #cane sugar #vegan food coloring #chocolate #coconut oil #kawaii food

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Tasty cake. No grasshoppers needed.

When I was in high school, I took cooking as an elective. I'm not any great shakes at it, mind, but I can toss a cassarole dish in the oven and get something edible in the end, generally. There was one recipe, however, that I absolutely adored and was sure the hang on to so I could make it again in the future.

Naturally, the recipe was missing the next time Mum and I went to make it, so we have to sort of re-invent a little every time.

But the recipe is:

GRASSHOPPER CAKE

Now, for those of you who are unaware, at least in America 'grasshopper' in cooking normally means chocolate-mint. No actual grasshoppers involved. You can, occasionally get little boxes of grasshoppers as novelty food items, but they're not a protein staple here. So if you're wondering how on earth you can have grasshopper cake without grasshoppers, there's your answer.

(If, for some reason, you would like to add actual grasshoppers for protein content, try your local pet supply store. You may have to make due with crickets though.)

Now, the recipe goes something like this. You will need:

1 box white or yellow cake mix 1 jar hot fudge topping 2-4(?) tsps mint flavored stuff 1 pint whipping cream Food colouring (optional)

The original recipe specifically called for a white cake, because you were supposed to add green food colour to it. Yellow works just as well and, fun fact! Yellow is one of the primary colours that makes up green, so you can still add food colouring if you want to. Also, the original recipe called for creme de menthe as the mint flavor. Mum and I just use regular old extract.

You make the boxed cake according to the instructions, only you add food colouring if you like and some mint flavouring. How much? That's one of the things Mum and I can't remember. It's one or two teaspoons and every time we have a debate over which and every time, I'm pretty sure we do something different. Never had the cake taste bad, though, so I would say two tsps if you really like mint and one if you're a bit shy of strong mint flavor.

Once the cake is partially cooled (but not all of the way) heat your fudge topping to the point you can easily get it out of the jar and spread it over the top. You don't need the topping to be completely melted - the warm cake will help it move.

Let cool. Possibly refrigerate, if you're in a hurry.

When your cake is good and cool, mix up your whipped cream. Add more food colour if you like, whatever you prefer for sweeteners (if any) and another teaspoon or two of mint flavor.

If there's anything left once you and the entire family have sampled it, stick it in the fridge.

Variations:

At one point I did this with orange instead of mint. I forget why, but it was also tasty.

At one of my former jobs I had a coworker who loved choco-mint and cake and was sadly diabetic. I discovered that Pillsbury makes a very nice sugar free boxed yellow cake and Smucker's has you covered on sugar free hot fudge topping. Sweeteners, of course, have lots of options. TASTY CAKE FOR ALL!

#cake #grasshopper cake #tasty food stuff #chocolate mint #diabetic friendly

[allyooops]

Have a page of warm up doodles and a bunch of memory drawn ponies from a discord chat the other night!!

#mlp #My little pony #mod doodles #Mod draws #Grasshopper Pie #mod draws #inquirymod #inqmod #mlp ocs #my little pony #mlp fan art #peppermint twist #cheese sandwich #Pound and pumpkin cake #sweetie belle #Marble pie #Zecora #Fleetfoot

[thecomet-and-themeteor]

would you eat a bug

Hell yeah

#bucket list is fried scorpions chocolate covered grasshoppers and cake made with ant flour #bug mention

[gallusrostromegalus]

Funky Muguruma Kensei AEIWAM headcanons? Spare serotonins with the blorbos? /j Also what's AEIWAM Mashiro like? She's one of the only characters I genuinely get annoyed by in the canon oof

:)

So the friendship between Kaname and Mashiro is one of my favorite things in the fic so far. Have a spoilerific Scene (Part 1 of ?)

Crickets and Grasshoppers

Scene One of ??? Approximately 7K words Fluff that goes South and won't get (sort of ) better until part 2, warnings for body horror, referenced torture and Emotionally Devastating Betrayal

:)

It was Tuesday November 5th, 1901, Scheduling Day in the Ninth Division and Mashiro was standing in front of the vending machine just down the street from the Ninth, choosing her armaments for the coming battle. 

In other divisions, the actual drawing up of rosters was the job of lower-seated officers and the specific parts of the Division they were responsible for.  Tousen’s friend Komamura has told her once that the 7th Division’s schedule was so predictable, they only looked at the roster once a year when people retired or were hired. A fascinating concept to Mashiro, who listened to Komamura’s tales of the 7th with the rapt fascination of an anthropologist privileged to hear the folklore of distant and largely unknown people. 

The Ninth was… complicated for the sake of simplicity.  Information did not move the same way people did, and while the seventh could pass an inbound soul from the Intake Team to Queue Management to the Registry Office, passing an information project from one subdivision to another was a great way to lose said project. So instead of projects moving from subdivision to subdivision as they reached different stages, subdivisions went from stage to stage, following projects. 

This meant scheduling had to be done every month, but it beat the hell out of a major archive loss or communications failure. 

And it meant that Snackage was in order. 

Mashiro surreptitiously glanced over her shoulder to make sure Captain Muguruma was still overseeing drills in the courtyard, then selected 37 cookies, chips, snack cakes, bottles of pop and juice and other goodies from the machine and paid out of the Division Purse.  

Kensei, bless him, was a deeply honorable man who was so reliable you could set a watch by him and would probably cross actual Hell to help a friend, but he did not understand scheduling, much less the kind of caloric requirements it held. 

-- “You’re just sitting there!  What do you need all that for?” He’d asked her once.

“The brain’s the most expensive organ to run in terms of calories.” She’d explained, rolling her eyes and opening a bag of Barbecue-flavored corn chips. “-I know your brain is a plodding cart horse, but you can’t do scheduling.  You need my thoroughbred racehorse brain, and it needs snacks!”

He’d given up with a disgusted groan of defeat, which was good, because the other reason she needed the snacks would have actually made him snap.  -- Mashiro shoved the snacks into her backpack, checked that Kensei was still distracted by drills, darted back across the street where he might spot her, ran around the back of the division, and jumped up to the third-floor window that had been left open for her. 

“The level of subterfuge this perfectly normal administrative process requires…” Fifth-seat Kaname Tousen groaned from where he was lying on the floor, partially under his traditional low desk. 

“-Is half the fun, you dork!” Mashiro giggled, closing the window after her as she climbed in. “All the autumn stuff is in the shops and vending machines now, and I made sure to get every persimmon-flavored thing they had just for you!” She grinned down at her chosen assistant for scheduling. 

The other purpose for the snacks was Bribery. 

Kaname Tousen was, by Mashiro’s estimation, definitely the smartest person in the Ninth Division, and possibly in the entire Soul Society.  If the world was a fair place, he’d be lieutenant and she’d be fifth seat, but the world wasn’t a fair place and in the week between Graduation with every honor Shin’o academy had and starting as the 9th Division’s 20th seat, Kaname had been struck down with some sort of horrible spinal infection that damn near killed him, made him miss his entire first month and a half of work, and left him with occasional bouts of crippling pain, like today, when he’d decided to risk worsening Kensei’s already low opinion of him by doing his work lying flat on his back on a hot pad. 

Kaname’s services as a Brainiac were much in demand and his availability highly limited, so Mashiro guaranteed her place on his schedule with confection-based compensation.

“I mean, Kensei’s a mean old sack and that’s not great for the division too, but the spy shenanigans and scheduling snacktime really is like, The Highlight Of The Month sometimes.” Mashiro shrugged, flopping down on the floor beside him and  dumping the snacks out between them. 

“Captain Muguruma’s sense of discipline is intense but very necess- ow. Yeah, that’s not happening.” Kaname sighed, laying back down from trying to sit up. “-He’s a good man.  Difficult, sometimes, but a good man.”

“You’re way too nice for your own good. Here’s the Persimmon castella cakes.” Mashiro grunted, handing Kaname the small package and the payroll notes to read. 

Kaname groped across his desk for a clipboard, attached the payroll notes to it, propped them up on his stomach so they were balanced on the edge of his desk, and laid all the way back down, face pointed at the ceiling rather than the notes.  Mashiro opened up a packet of Amakara rice crackers, watching him with interest as Kaname took off his goggles. 

The goggles were what convinced Mashiro he was the smartest man in the Soul Society.  Kaname had been born totally blind, but he had figured out how to mount a pair of tiny cameras in the frame of a pair of safety goggles, which were connected to… he’d explained that the little bricks behind the opaque white lenses of his goggles contained something like an obscenely long and complicated Kido spell that spotted readable characters, ‘read’ them, and turned the resulting text into words that played out of the tiny “Microphonogram Speech Players or ‘speakers’ “ hidden in the legs of the goggles.  So he could read pretty much anything printed with enough contrast (and decent enough handwriting, Captain Urahara) because his goggles would read it aloud for him.  They were much slower than most people read, and sometimes he had to stop work to “charge” the spell that made them work, but they worked a damn treat, and had the added advantage that Kaname himself did not need to be looking at the thing he was trying to read, only the goggles.

So now he unwound the coil of wire that connected the Kido brick to the microphonogram, placed the ‘speaker’ back in his ear, and set the glasses on his chest so he could read the notes while keeping his back and neck pressed to the hotpad. 

True Genius, that.

“I love how the cameras wiggle.” Mashiro grinned, watching the two lenses shift and dilate as they focused on the notes. “They move the same way cicadas and grasshoppers shift their eyes independently to focus. It’s so clever to have them operate like that.”

“Hm.  That was Kakiyo’s design, not mine.” Kaname smiled.  Kakiyo was his adopted and now-deceased sister.  “She was always more of an entomologist than me.”

“Weird that you ended up with Suzumushi the cricket for a Zanpaktou then.” Mashiro pondered.  She liked Suzumushi- that sword, and her own Musabori Kuu Batta (Devouring Locust) were two of less than One Hundred insect-type Zanpaktou in the court guard, and fewer still that weren’t butterflies. She couldn’t really see Suzumushi- no shinigami could perceive another’s Zanpaktou Spirit- but she could hear Batta’s half of the conversation the two would chirp to each other sometimes.

Kaname paused from opening the persimmon cake packaging with his teeth. “...Yes. Bizarre.” he said, with a rueful finality that Mashiro took as her cue to change the subject.

“Right. Where are we on the Agricultural Practices census?” She sighed, pulling the active projects list and next month’s calendar out in front of her. 

“Maegawa-san has requested travel permissions to-” Kaname replied, flipping through the pages, the goggles faintly reading off names as he tracked them with his fingertip. “Ah, ‘pull the damn report out through the East 36th Daimyo’s nose if I have to’, which I think we can call a requisitions expense rather than reconnaissance. Unless you think Lieutenant Fon would enjoy the catharsis as well.”

“She WOULD, actually, that girl is wound tighter than my grandpa’s pocketwatch.”  Mashiro nodded, placing the card for “3rd Seat Maegawa” in the “Out Of Office” Pile. 

And so it went for a pleasant hour, eating snacks and solving the five-dimensional time, space and payroll puzzle of scheduling, with Kaname helping her keep track of the process and who was not supposed to be doing overtime or couldn’t be trusted to work with someone else or on maternity leave or whatever. 

“Alright, I think that’s nearly everyone sorted…” Mashiro muttered, going down the list of all 200 division members to make sure they’d made it onto the roster. “Oh wait, we didn’t put you down!” She giggled. 

“I believe my schedule should be identical to last months while we are still doing data entry into the archives, but I do have a request- May I have this coming Friday off?” he asked. “I have an engagement.”

“Who’s getting engaged?” Mashiro teased, erasing him from the roster that day.

Kaname tilted his head a bit, pointing his ear at her with a conspiratorial smirk. “...Can you keep a secret?”

Mashiro blinked at him in surprise, then gasped with delight and leaned in  “Cross my heart and hope to die!” She whispered back, giggling. 

Kaname regarded her for a moment, teasing. “Love- Captain Aikawa has finally worked up the nerve to propose to Lieutenant Yadomaru.”

Mashiro made a noise like an asthmatic teakettle as she tried to not shriek with delight and deafen Kaname as well, rolling onto her back and kicking her legs in the air with excitement.

“-He wants it to be a surprise though, and Lisa is always going through his bag for his water bottle or whatever at kendo practice and she will notice if his schedule changes, so I need to duck out during lunch today and pick up the ring for him to propose with on Friday.” Kaname elaborated.

“A conspiracy!” Mashiro balled her fists with excitement. “When? Where? Can I come?”

“You got an invitation to Captain Kyoraku’s next moon-viewing party, right?”  Kaname asked and she nodded.  “It’s then.”

“EEEK!” Mashiro giggled with delight. 

“What’re you two giggling about?” Kensei grunted from the doorway, still sweaty from training. 

“It’s a SECRET!” Mashiro glared imperiously, sweeping the snack wrappers out of sight off the desk as Kaname sat up with a small grunt of pain and bowed his head in salute.

“Whatever.” Kensei rolled his eyes. “Tousen. Read your report on the dodgy census statistics and possible disappearances in West 66 and I think you’re right.  Something stinks on ice out there.”

Kaname gasped sharply with relief and bowed his head in gratitude. “Thank you, Sir.”

“I gotta attend a captain’s meeting this afternoon because Urahara has some harebrained new project to show and tell-” Kensei continued, glaring at his battered fingertips where he’d caught a bokto the wrong way during training. “-Saw that Maegawa is gonna be in East 36 and Fukuda’s on maternity leave, so I’m sending every seated officer from you to 15th seat Shizawa out there to investigate and deal with it.  You all need to be at the Kido Corps for teleportation at three. Mashiro, don’t burn the place down.”

“OH COME ON!” Mashiro shouted with disappointment. 

“HEY! No backtalk!  I know you wanna go but someone’s gotta hold the fort-” Kensei glared down at her. 

“It’s not me!  Kaname has to- I mean-” She sputtered, abruptly remembering his request for secrecy.

“It’s alright!” Kaname tried to smile but ended up grimacing at her as he got up. “I’ll just go get it now and it’ll be in my pocket when I get back!” 

Mashiro glared at him for a moment, but sat back down. “Okay. I guess.” She pouted. 

“Get what?” Asked Kensei. 

“A surprise for Captain Kyoraku’s moon-veiwing party!” Kaname grinned at him as he collected his belongings into his satchel by touch.

Kensei pondered that for a long moment, glaring at Kaname. “...How’d you score an invite?”

“Captain Aikawa invited me along.” Kaname explained over Mashiro’s offended scoff. “We were roommates when we were at the academy and he has very kindly kept inviting me along to things despite my not really being able to keep up with him anymore.” 

Kensei regarded him a moment longer. “Huh.” he eventually decided. “Well, see you when you get back from the investigation.” He waved, dismissing Tousen.

“Thank you Sir.  Lieutenant Kuna.” Kaname bowed before jogging off. 

“See you later Kaname-kun!” Mashiro called after him.

“-Even if he won’t technically see yo- OW!” Kensei yelped as Mashiro clipped him sharply under the ear. 

“Why are you so MEAN to him!?” Mashiro glared up at her captain as he rubbed his jaw. 

“I’m not mean! I’m just- it’s just office banter!” Kensei growled back. “I can just not like a guy and still be colleagues with him, okay?”

“No, apparently you can’t!” Mashiro “You’ve been really hard on him and getting on his case and teasing him since day one!”

“-More like day thirty-two, he missed the first six weeks of his appointment.” Kensei grumbled.

“That was literally FIFTY years ago and he was in the HOSPITAL. BECAUSE HE NEARLY DIED!”  She bellowed, probably loud enough for Kaname to hear in the street but it didn’t matter. “Yeah, it sucked, but it wasn’t his fault! I don’t get why you were mad at him back then, and I really don’t get why you’re still mad about it NOW!”

“I’M NOT MAD ABOUT THAT, I JUST-” Kensei bellowed back but then stopped, hand over his mouth. “...He keeps secrets.”

Mashiro stared at him blankly for a moment, face slowly collapsing from bewilderment into disgust. “OH. MY GOD. You’re the one always going on about operational security!  He’s just careful- all the details are in his summarial reports, if you ever read them…”

“I do!” Kensei barked. “And they’re-  I mean, All the information he’s required to fill out is there, and then some.” He sputtered, deflating. 

Mashiro leaned in close, eyebrow cocked at him. 

“...But I keep getting this feeling it’s not the whole picture.” Kensei muttered. 

“Ugh!” Mashiro shouted, throwing her hands up and turning away. “So you don’t like him because you have bad reading comprehension?”

“Shut up! I don’t- there’s just something off about that guy! He’s always taking weird days off-” Kensei started, ticking off a list on his fingers. 

“You mean the sick days from his spinal infection?” Mashiro glared, arms folded across her chest.

Kensei continued to count his grievances “-and taking secret calls in weird corners-!”

“You mean privately scheduling his medical treatment? For his spinal infection?” Mashiro continued to glare.

“-And getting him to go to the fifth or third division is like pulling teeth! What the hell is up with that?” Kensei demanded.

“You mean the divisions that have A) Lieutenant Iba, the woman who has a weird horoscope-based personal grudge against him-” Mashiro asked, mimicking Kensei’s earlier counting, “-and B) Lieutenant Aizen, who also keeps forgetting he has a spinal injury and slaps Kaname across the shoulders every time they meet?  Yeah, I don’t blame him for wanting to avoid two of the most annoying people in the whole court guard!”

“Whatever.” Kensei waved her off. “I’m still right. There’s something off with him. Now get that roster updated and posted!”

“Yes, sir.” Mashiro groaned, rolling her eyes at him and stomping back to Kaname’s office for the Roster.

***

Kaname hadn’t felt this light in years. 

Oh god.

Oh, GOD!

Please, please, please please let this be happening?

He sprinted down the road, back towards the apartment that he and Sajin shared, the small box with Love’s ring in his chest pocket.  He allowed himself an ounce of elation- After all, I am just a young man who has picked up the engagement ring of one of his best friends!  It is exactly what anyone would expect to see-

That was the tricky part of The Curse. 

He couldn’t talk about it, like many curses, but it had the added complication that anyone who looked at him- or listened to him, or put their hands on him, or- 

Well, they’d only find what they expected to find. 

Certainly not a curse. 

But curses cut both ways- The broader and less specific a command for someone bearing a curse was, the harder it was to enforce, and it was harder to come up with a command broader and more open to interpretation than “Help Me Kill God”. So as long as Kaname could argue to the curse that an action did “help” some aspect of Aizen’s plans, he could be inefficient, neglect to mention something important, do an assigned task sloppily, fail to cover his tracks and so on-  Sometimes Other times, the curse would take effect and cripple him until he relented and obeyed Aizen’s command again. Or at least, managed to convince Aizen he was doing what Aizen wanted. 

Aizen hadn’t quite realized it, but he was also subject to his own illusions, and there was a gap- a mirror image, if Kaname understood mirrors correctly- so long as he appeared as Aizen expected, Aizen wouldn’t notice him sabotaging Aizen’s machinations. So for the last three years, Kaname had done his best to appear tired and overworked and failing from exhaustion rather than malice, or like he was starting to agree with Aizen, which is exactly what the narcissist expected after fifty years of mental, physical and spiritual torture. 

It was finally  paying off. 

He’d managed to make the kidnappings Aizen and Gin had been conducting on the villagers of West 56 appear by conducting a census that showed the discrepancy of expected versus actual population.  -And made sure the increased hollow activity in the area from Aizen’s experiments showed up in the 10th Division’s monitoring statistics. - And the weird waves of reiatsu visible on the 12th’s monitoring equipment- not what people expected to see, but by keeping all the evidence noticed by unrelated parties, he kept it out of the scope of Aizen’s Illusions. 

Kyoga Suigetsu took a lot of energy to operate, and Tousen was pretty sure Aizen could only passively fool about 150 at a time- he chose mostly his own division and people he saw daily, like his neighbors and cross-division colleagues, and could only actively alter the reality of maybe 20 people at once- the other captains and a few key would-be witnesses.   So a rural census-taker, and two members at the bottom ranks of other divisions weren’t actively subject to the illusion. 

He had to do it on faith, that someone would notice-

Kaname felt like he’d been holding his breath for weeks now, doing his best to tell Aizen and the constantly-itching nails in his spine that this was a Perfectly Normal Database Cross-referencing project- very boring, but it will be missed if it’s not done, Lord Aizen- and nothing to draw attention to the horrible Laboratory…

…By some miracle, Mugurama had read the report, understood and believed it- Kensei had a naturally suspicious mind, so Kaname made sure the report was full of “It's entirely possible this is all a weird coincidence!” to make him suspicious.  The curse only showed people what they expected to see, and for once, Kensei’s natural pessimistic expectations allowed him to see the truth. 

24 hours.  That’s all I have left.

The only people in the Ninth Aizen had under his Active Influence were Kensei and Mashiro, so he wouldn’t be able to hide the nature of the laboratory from the investigation team without dropping the Active Illusion on someone else and risk discovery- and so long as Aizen didn’t find out about the expedition, he wouldn’t know to make that shift in time.

24 hours. I only need to keep Aizen distracted for 24 hours. 

In Aizen’s personal quarters, The Distraction Apparatus waited.

Aizen was mistaken to force Kaname to do his lab work for him- Kaname understood it better than him now, and had pulled aside a little trick to confuse him. The Hogyoku bonded with its user, almost like a zanpaktou, and communicated with them- it purred when Aizen fed it, and whined when it was hungry.  Aizen knew about Suzumushi’s Bankai- he’d insisted Kaname develop it under his supervision, so he would know of all Kaname’s abilities.  But he only knew it from the inside, and hadn’t realized that not only was anyone inside blind, deaf and without any form of sensory input, neither could anyone on the outside sense anyone within. It was worth it to break Suzumushi like that. It was actually her idea, to break the guard of his Zanpaktou and separate the ring from it.  That’s where the Bankai was stored, and with a hell of a lot of practice, he’d learned to cast it remotely.

It had been months before he had an opportunity-  Kaname would never forgive what had been done to that poor angel, but during one of the The Sessions where Aizen was using the Hogyoku to change the angel, Kaname was able to get ahold of the little Illusion box Aizen kept the infernal device in, Secure Suzumushi’s ring to the floor, disguise the tampering with a false floor, and return the box to it’s place without Aizen’s notice. The Ring had been waiting there for months.

24 hours, and the secret will be out. 

He’d memorized Aizen’s schedule- in 22 minutes Aizen would be entering the reiatsu-locked laboratory of the 12th with his own Captain Shinji for Kisuke’s Demonstration, and would not be able to feel Kaname activate his Bankai. When he came back out, it would seem like the Hogyoku had vanished. And for all Aizen would be able to tell, it had- he wouldn’t be able to perceive the Hogyoku or it’s illusion box until Kaname released his Bankai. 

So for now, Kaname acted exactly like Aizen would expect him to act- a little tired, a lot in pain, but elated that two of his best friends were getting engaged, and that he’d be able to help. That was a natural source of excitement, and definitely not any kind of counter conspiracy-

Kaname jogged down the stairs to the apartment, ring box in his pocket, heart hammering, hands shaking a bit as he took out the keys to unlock his door, grabbed the knob that was not there and was suddenly off balance and falling- Into something soft and steady that carefully picked him up like a child’s doll and set him back on his feet, gently taking his hands.

“Are you alright?” Sajin asked, soft, deep voice tinged with concern. “My apologies, I was just trying to do some house cleaning while the weather is mild and had the door open for ventilation.”

“Y- yeah! I’m. I’m alright. Just- distracted. I’ve had some good news!”  He grinned up at his friend. 

“Oh?” Sajin asked, tugging lightly at Kaname’s fingertips to indicate he should step inside.  “Mind your way, I have all the chairs out in the living room so I can sweep.”

They had been living in this garden-level apartment for the forty years since Sajin had followed Kaname into the court guard, and under the same roof at the Akaido City Library for many years before that, and their domestic arrangements settled into a comfortable and comforting routine- Kaname was incapable of seeing grime, so Sajin did the housekeeping, and Sajin would eat raw, expired meat if left unattended, so Kaname did the cooking and shopping. 

Kaname followed his lead, hand reflexively on Sajin’s instinctively proffered arm to keep balance while he unbuckled and took off his boots- the gestures of proximal intimacy had calcified into a secret language between them.

“Thanks-” Kaname stood up and stepped in with a guiding hand on the wall. He could normally navigate the apartment by memory alone. “-I’m only here for a few minutes, I’ve also got a deployment I need to pack for.”

“Deployment?” Sajin asked, following after him, voice slightly muffled from the cloth mask he wore over his face- at least when the door was open.  Being mostly underground had it’s advantages- Kaname didn’t need much light and Sajin possessed almost superhuman darkvision, and the small, high windows that were obscured by bushes gave them enough Privacy that Sajin could relax and keep his face bare at home. 

24 hours.  

Maybe. Maybe when it all came out, and the dust settled--Assuming they don’t hang me alongside Aizen, which was a big If--But once it was all said and done and I still draw breath- Maybe I will have the courage to ask Sajin what it is he feels he needs to hide.Surely, he is far too gentle to be half so monstrous as he claims.

“Kaname?”  Sajin prompted, and Kaname realized he’d been silent for nearly a minute. “S-sorry. I just. Captain Muguruma finally read my report on West 66 and ordered and immediate investigation, so I have to be at the Kido corps by three-” “Kaname.” “Ah, No don’t worry,  I’ll get dinner prepared so you only have to put it under the broiler, and There’s um-” “Kaname.” 

“-I’ll be back by Friday for Love and Lisa’s- Right- Here, I need you to-”  He sputtered, dozens of ideas baying for his attention at once, patting his chest for the ring box- “Kaname!” Sajin snapped, and his giant hands were on Kaname’s shoulders again, turning him around in place to face his friend, gloved hand suddenly under his chin, holding his face up for Sajin to glare at. “...When was the last time you slept?”

“I’m fine!” Kaname tried to jerk back, laughing defensively. 

“You’ve gone to bed after me and gotten up before me, if you went to bed at all for at least a week, and I’m doing maximum overtime. You don't have bags so much as matched luggage under your eyes and can’t finish a sentence coherently.  You’re not touching anything in the kitchen.” Sajin rattled off, giving Kaname’s chin a light shake. “...it’s not yet eleven, and the Kido Corps is less than ten minutes from here. I’ll see to your packing. Lie down. Please.”  

Kaname sighed, shoulders slumping. “Sajin, I- I need to-”

“You need. To sleep.” Sajin rumbled, no room in his voice for argument.

Kaname panted for a moment, realizing that if Sajin wasn’t holding him in place he’d be swaying with exhaustion. 

24 hours.

…I can spend one or two of them resting. 

If I don’t manage to prove my innocence, I’ll want to have at least this to think about on the gallows.

“...Stay with me until I fall asleep?” Kaname asked, voice soft. “It’s just. It’s been a lot.” “Of course.” Sajin hummed, rubbing his cheek. “I also need to, ah- use facilities, first.” he grimaced, and Sajin let him go. 

“I’m coming in after you if I think you’ve passed out on the floor.” Sajin threatened. 

“That happened ONE TIME-!” Kaname protested, following the wall to the bathroom.

Once inside, he checked the time again. 

If the meeting had stuck to schedule, they should be inside the 12th’s labs now.  

Kaname sent Aizen a test message to his Soul Pager. 

> Mandatory Status Report: Muguruma handed me a sudden assignment. Won’t be back until Friday.

If he was outside the Reiatsu-locked lab, that missive would have Aizen furiously calling him in under five minutes. He timed it, relieving himself and washing his hands as he waited-

Nothing.

“Here goes…” he muttered, hoping the sound of the bathroom fan and the running water would cover his voice. He focused, feeling the silver ring start to rotate in his mind, the way it multiplied and stretched, the rings dancing a circle on that which needed to be concealed-

“-Bankai.” He whispered, skin tingling- 

-And suddenly he was keenly aware of the hogyoku and it’s illusion box, as though he were holding it, both wholly contained and hidden by his Bankai.  

It is done The distraction is set. In a few hours, all will be revealed to the rest of the court guard. There. All I need  to do now was follow the assignment like I was told and investigate the- the-

-He suddenly he felt the Bankai’s draw on his power and he collapsed over the sink, retching and knees shaking with how weak he felt. The skin on the back of his neck prickled and almost tasted like vinegar in the back of his mind,  high-pitched ringing between his ears. 

The nails sizzled ominously but there was no power behind it- It’s alright- I can- I can deal with this. Just breathe, come on dumbass, you just need to keep breathing for another 24 hours.

“Kaname? Sajin called.

“Nothing broke!” Kaname called back, forcing himself to his feet and stumbling back against the wall.  He tested the Bankai again- It holds. Very convenient of you Suzumushi, that I only need to cast and feed it, rather than concentrate…

Suzumushi chriped distractedly, her focus on maintaining the Bankai. With her concentration, the illusion would hold even as he slept. Cold water on his face and neck, trying to make himself vaguely presentable and the room stop spinning as he stumbled out- oh, Sajin is right here, how thoughtful of him…

“It’s alright, just follow me…” Sajin soothed, guiding him along to the Thick Futon and large collection of pillows they used as a couch- nothing with legs would bear Sajin’s weight for long. He allowed Sajin to pull him down, settling beside Kaname until he was wedged between Sajin’s giant body and the collection of cushions, head on his friend’s chest, listening to his heartbeat- A little slower than mine, and steady- always so steady- so- 

Kaname was asleep before he completed the thought. 

---

Scene two: 23 hours later

“It’s just up this way Mister Shinigami!”  The boy said, his hot little hand pulling Kaname along. 

They’d gotten to West 66 and Kaname had realized he’d been wrong to worry about looking like he already knew the way to the Laboratory- Iruka Village had taken some fairly extreme defensive measures against the kidnappings since the last time he’d been forced out here- Barricades errected, bridges taken out, and even the road torn up and replanted to hide the route to the village. Kaname was entirely turned around before they even set foot in the Village and started asking the peasants if there was anything unusual nearby.

Fortunately for the expediency of the investigation, one Young Shuuhei Hisagi was extremely eager to help, giving them a detailed accounting of the strange activities at the old foundry, where someone had turned one of the kiln’s back on and there was “An ‘lectric” generator and it smelled a lot like someone was cooking rancid pork but he’d never seen anybody there, even when he went into the basement because he wasn’t ascared of it, weird that there’s a basement, nobody makes basements here as it’s a swamp-

Kaname felt his skin go cold when he realized the boy had somehow gotten inside and made notes and even poked some of the machinery, but given he hadn’t tried to actually chew Kaname’s arm off as he lead the Ninth Division Investigation team to the Lab, he was probably uncontaminated…

“There’s a hill an’ it’s on the other side- mind the branch.” Young Shuuhei was one of the great tragedies of the poor parts of the Rukongai- whip-smart and observant and thoughtful, but illiterate from the lack of teachers, and likely destined for an early grave if the statistical average lifespan out here held true.  His Reiryoku shimmered at the edges- with a little training and a better diet he might even make for a good Shinigami. 

Maybe if I live through this I can get him a scholarship.  Kaname mused, trying to think about literally anything but the nauseating familiarity of the smell creeping over the hill. 

“Mr. Hisagi?” he asked in the polite voice he’d cultivated as the Head Librarian to indicate to children he was taking them very seriously.

The Boy snapped to attention. “Sir?”

“Thank you for leading us here, but I absolutely cannot allow you any closer. It’s extremely dangerous here-”  he started to explain.

“I been in before! An’ the door’s trickylike you gotta pull the handle up and in and rattle it to get in and then prop somethin’ in the gap or it locks back behind you-”  Shuuhei explained, gesturing  like Kaname could see him demonstrating. 

“-And you were lucky to get out in one piece! I also need you to do a very important job.”  Kaname sighed, familiar with this kind of kid- slightly too bright and kind-hearted for his own good, but reliable at a task- “-I can hear that some of your friends have followed us from the village.  They’re about a quarter mile behind us-”

“Dangit Suichi-!” Shuuhei muttered under his breath. “-Yeah that’s probably my little brother and his friends. You want me to go chase him back home?”

“Precisely. Also, tell everyone to get indoors and stay put until they get an all-clear.  Just in case something goes wrong, I need everyone to stay safe until re-enforcements arrive.  So go get everyone back home and inside, alright?” “Yessir!” Shuuhei snapped a salute and Kaname heard some of the other Shinigami giggle behind him.

“I’m glad I can rely on you.” He nodded, and shooed Shuuhei down the road. The boy took off, hollering for his brother.

“I didn’t know you were so good with kids.” Laughed Sixth Seat Todo Izaemon. “Cute little thing too-”

“Being in charge of the West 51 Children’s Intensive Literacy School teaches you how to get along with them.”  He shrugged. “Alright, I can’t sense anything, but that doesn’t mean danger is not present.  Even numbered seats- go west and approach from the north. Odd numbers, we go east and approach from the south.”

“Sir!” Izaemon nodded, the next ranked officer. 

Kaname approached the building at a crouch, straining to hear- the brief nap Sajin had insisted on and six-pack of illicitly acquired 4th Division “Stamina Supplements” were doing what they could for him, but everything  hurt and Suzumushi’s Bankai was even more draining than he’d anticipated and he could barely sense more than a few feet around him. But he found the door- Shuuhei was right, the Handle was starting to go out of alignment- Up and in, right? Yeah- and when nothing behind it exploded, he cautiously stepped in. 

“Nobody ran out our side Sir!” Izaemon called and Kaname acknowledged him with a nod. 

“What the hell IS this place?” Seventh-seat Akishita asked, looking around the room.  This was the main floor of the laboratory, where the bulk of Aizen’s butchery was done- the whole place reeked of rotting flesh and sulfur- byproducts of the ‘Hollowfication Process’, and Kaname very nearly tripped on a groove gashed into the floor that hadn’t been there last time. 

“That looks like an office or control room up there-” Kaname said, pointing to the partial second story that took up the west third of the building that he REALLY hoped was still there. “-Akishita, with me. Lets see if there’s a schematic or something.”

“Sir!” She agreed. 

Oh good, it is still there. He thought, trying to not pant with pain- oh god, his eyes were burning and spine felt like it was actively dissolving he was so TIRED- He touched his watch, checking the time again. 

24 minutes.  Come on, just a little more-

He got to the door at the top of the stairs, Akishita behind him. 

“Are you alright Sir?”  She asked.

“What?” He jerked towards her. 

“You seem… really off today.”  She frowned. He could sense the shape of her this close, and the way her hand on the hilt of her Zanpaktou. Maybe just resting, maybe not. 

“I- I haven’t been sleeping well. Nightmares.” He gulped. That was actually entirely true.  Still the nails sizzled louder and he winced. “-I -I might need to put in for sick leave when we get back.”

“You really should.  You look awful.”  She nodded, hand off the hilt. 

Kaname nodded, and carefully opened the door into the control room. He felt Akishita turn, making sure nothing unexpected followed them as he stepped in- no traps, but a strange sort of coldness- not a draft, like a there was a block of ice in here-

The door slammed shut behind him. 

“Heya Goggles!” a boy’s voice drawled behind him. 

-Or a snake. 

Kaname froze, skin going cold as Akishita called for him from the other side of the door.

“Gin?” He asked, trying to keep his voice even.

“She’s right, you look like shit!” the boy laughed, activating a Kido seal that barricaded them in the room.  “-Boss sent me to talk to you because the CRAZIEST thing happened at the Captain’s meeting this morning!”

“-Please tell me Urahara’s latest crime against nature maimed him?  I could use some good news.”  Kaname groaned, complaining like usual, like nothing was wrong. There was more shouting from the main floor. He braced himself, feet under his shoulders, feeling Gin’s aura twist as he decided on an angle to strike from.

“Oh nah, Aizen-sama is wrapping things up and planting evidence over at the 12th right now, that’s why I’m here!” Gin laughed. “No, Your Boss Muguruma stopped everyone before Urahara’s demonstration to tell everyone about this report you submitted sayin’ several hundred people had vanished in West 66!  The other haoris were all horrified, I tell ya- Captain Hirako just about shit bricks!  Hollerin’ Aizen-sama’s ear off about it the whole way back to the fifth!”

Kaname gripped Suzumushi’s hilt.

“Oh now don’t be unfriendly!  I even got somethin’ for ya!” Gin laughed, and tossed something his way. Knowing better than to catch anything he threw, Kaname waited for it to hit the floor-

PING!

-Stomach turning over as he recognized the metallic chime of Suzumishi’s ring. 

“Neat trick by the way- Aizen must have spent ten hours turning over the fifth looking for the Hogyoku!!” Gin laughed. “-He didn’t actually find it neither, if it’s any consolation. But he has me, and I got…Abilities.” The boy leered as Kaname Swiped the ring from the ground- Suzumushi had been strangely quiet, and only now did he realize that at some point the sensory illusion of his Bankai had been reversed. Louder yelling from the main floor and the sound of Akishita preparing a Hakudo Kido to blow the door in on the other side. 

“-Shit.”  Kaname growled, reconnecting the ring to the hilt, Suzumushi whimpering in pain. 

“Madder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory he is!” Gin chuckled, then surged forward. Even on a good day, Gin was nearly impossible to block and tonight-

“-Sorry goggles, but I got orders. Rikujokoru!” he hissed fingertips on kaname's sternum, and Kanane was slammed to the ground, six beams of Kido energy hitting his middle, paralyzing him completely. “Aizen-sama says if you can get outta this and get home you can live, but if I’m honest, I don’t really like your odds-” Gin explained, walking over to the control panel and flicking it on, the machines whirring to life and something rumbling beneath them. 

…Basement. Kaname realized. The boy said there was a basement- there wasn’t one last time?

There was a loud hissing as vents opened and gas streamed out of the floor into the main room, the sickening scent of rotting fruit comingled with melting plastic- The Hollowfication Compound? It’s a gas now!?

The shouting turned to screaming.

Oh God.

The screaming turned to roaring. 

Oh god, no. Please-

“- 'Specially not now.” Gin leered, patting him on the shoulder as he turned to leave. “Bye-Bye!  See you tomorrow-! …Maybe.”

Kaname could hear Gin leaving out the small fire window up at the roofline and he struggled, concentrating his reiatsu in his mouth to speak the counterspell- “-Horses of wind and gale, river of thread- 

-Akishita screamed in the hall, and there was the terrible wet sound of tearing flesh and breaking bones-

“- By Shadow and storm, unbind me!” He hissed, and the spell dissipated with the loud sound of shattering glass. Kaname scrambled to his feet, standing up in time to feel the gaze of ten newly-turned hollows fall upon him. His watch pulsed against his wrist, the timer for 24 hours Going off. 

“Well. I did say it would be over one way or another, didn’t I?” He grimaced, drawing Suzumushi as his former colleagues charged the plate glass that separated them. 

---

Part two approximately whenever I finish it :)

#AEIWAM #an elephant is warm and mushy #kaname tosen #Kaname Tousen #mashiro kuna #kensei muguruma #Sosuke Aizen #gin ichimaru #Bleach #bleach fanfiction

[miasmaghoul]

*ahem* edelweisss, edelweisss . . .

Swiss leans in the doorway to the common room, arms crossed over his chest, tail idly swishing behind him. He's been here for a few minutes now, left his book dog-eared on his bed with the intent of grabbing a snack. He'd found the kitchen occupied, though, and the smile he wears is exclusively thanks to the sight before him.

The kitchen is a mess; the small island is occupied by an ancient stand mixer and a few dirty bowls, while the counter lies covered in open containers, half-empty ingredient bags and not-small pile of used measuring spoons. The scent of sugar, citrus and something floral hangs heavy in the air, and Swiss can feel the heat of the oven from across the room.

At the center of the mess, though, lies what holds Swiss' attention.

Mountain's humming, swaying in front of the stove along with the album playing on the common room turntable. Something jazzy Swiss recognizes but can't name off the top of his head. Whatever it is, Mountain is clearly lost in it while he rather vigorously stirs something Swiss can't see. What he can see is the smattering of floury handprints covering Mountain's jeans, and the streak of something pale yellow that's somehow ended up in his hair. Swiss can only imagine how much worse Mountain's front must be, but there's one more detail that keeps him from wondering too hard.

The few delicate white flowers that have made their home at the base of Mountian's antlers have Swiss' eyes crinkling. He'd know those pale petals anywhere.

Swiss pushes off the doorframe and drags his feet just loud enough to announce himself. Sneaking up on Mountain in the kitchen doesn't usually end well. He sees the other ghoul's ear flick, sees him pause in stirring, and Swiss feels safe to speak.

"Thinkin' about me, grasshopper?"

Mountain peers at his over his shoulder, raises an eyebrow. Swiss gestures at his head as he strolls into he room, and Mountain rolls his eyes as though he can see his own antlers. He makes a chuffing sound and resumes his mixing, but Swiss doesn't miss his little smirk.

"Might be," he replies with a half shrug. "It's happened once or twice, against my better judgement."

Swiss laughs as he hops up onto one of the bar stools at the island, one leg tucked up under himself. He rests his elbow on one of the few clean spots by the mixer - the remnants of whatever Mountain has in his hair sits in the bowl closest to him, so Swiss picks it up and gives it a sniff.

"What's on the menu today, peaches?" Swiss swipes a fingers through a blob on the side of the bowl. Gives it a cursory sniff.

"A lemon and lavender cake," Mountain supplies, just in time for Swiss to pop his finger into his mouth and find out for himself.

The batter is delicious, sweet and tart and wonderfully smooth. Delightful on all counts. Swiss isn't surprised; Mountain is as good a cook as he is a messy one, and judging by the splotch of egg yolk Swiss can see on the ceiling this has been particularly inspired session.

"Fancy," he says, gathering another bit of batter. "If you need someone to taste when it's baked, my mouth ain't busy."

Mountain snorts, and together they say,

"For now."

Swiss playfully tosses a dirty tea towel at his back, and Mountain catches it without even looking. Tucks one corner into his pocket while his tail meanders towards the fridge.

"Already baked," he says, nodding towards the appliance while his tail tugs it open. The middle shelf holds three identical rounds of cake, the loveliest shade of yellow speckled with what must be flecks of lavender. "You'll have to wait for the finished product, I already trimmed them down. For quality control. You know how it is."

Swiss nods sagely. He slides from his stool and wanders over to the stove, humming when Mountain's tail sways up to greet him, the tufted end caressing his jaw. Swiss leans against the counter, and now he can see what Mountain is working on.

"What's, uh," he waves at the odd arrangement on the stove - a pan beneath what appears to be the stand mixer's bowl, which must contain whatever Mountain is tirelessly stirring. "What's this all for, then?"

"Frosting," Mountain tells him, lifting what turns out to be a whisk. "Eventually."

Something thick and gooey drips from the whisk and immediately gives Swiss several indecent thoughts.

"Don't say it looks like cum," Mountain says before Swiss can so much as open his mouth.

"Wasn't gonna," Swiss lies, tongue poking out between his fangs. Mountain gives him a look. "I wasn't!" Swiss insists, pushing away from the counter. He slips behind Mountain instead, wraps his arms around the taller ghoul's waist. Swiss kisses the back of his shoulder. "But I was gonna ask if that was why you were thinkin' about me."

Mountain barks out a laugh.

"Gross," he complains, but his tail wraps around Swiss' calf all the same. "But you're actually half right." Swiss makes a questioning sound, and Mountain points a thumb behind them. "Look at the recipe."

Swiss will, eventually. He indulges in holding Mountain first, just for a moment. Presses his nose to his sweat-damp shirt and breathes in the the homey scent of warm earth and something herbal. It blends beautifully with the lemon and sugar surrounding them, makes him feel a little fuzzy around the edges. He gives Mountain a squeeze, and stands on his toes to kiss the back of his neck before he lets go; another soft, white blossom pops up behind Mountain's ear.

Mountain picks up humming again while Swiss hunts for the recipe he mentioned. He piles dishes as he searches, stacks bowls and gathers measuring spoons. He finds it after a minute, an index card stained with vanilla and sticky with egg.

"A-ha," he holds up the card triumphantly, a light dusting of flour raining down from it. "Let's see what got you growing me."

Swiss wipes the card on his pants, and recognizes its looping, cursive script as Cumulus' handwriting. Lemon lavender layer cake with -

"No fuckin' way," Swiss says through a laugh. He looks up to find Mountain watching him with a glimmer in his eye. "That's all it took?"

"Yep," Mountain sighs, turning back to the task at hand. "That's all."

Swiss stares at the back of his head for a beat, and then the goofiest smile cracks his face. He tosses the card to the counter and returns to his place at Mountain's back, wrapping him up just a little tighter this time.

"Lucifer, you're a sap," he teases, but they both know it's true. Swiss reaches up and plucks one of the flowers decorating Mountain's antlers, spins it between two fingers. "Not that I'm complaining about bein' on your mind."

"Neither am I, edelweiss," Mountain rumbles. He briefly abandons his dutiful whisking to turn and knock their horns together. "Neither am I."

Mountain ducks down just enough for Swiss to catch him is a leisurely kiss, one that tastes like summery sunshine, and then he's gone again. Leaves Swiss grinning dumbly at the back of his head while warmth trickles into his belly. He settles against the taller ghoul's back, and in no time at all the pair of them start to sway to the music as one.

"So," Swiss murmurs into his shirt after a long moment, "what's a Swiss meringue buttercream, anyway?"

#miasma's work #the band ghost ficlets #swiss ghoul #mountain ghoul #swiss/mountain #swiss x mountain #SURPRISE BITCH HAVE THE CAKE IDEA >:) #jk ilu crow <3

[zenmasterlover]

Sad we never got to know what Hyde calls Jackie😔 here are some nicknames I think Jackie might’ve said if Hyde didn’t shove that cake in her mouth: his doll/ dollface, his grasshopper/ young grasshopper, angel eyes (yes, based on that ABBA song because here eyes are 2 different colors and so gorgeous), Jackaroo (like kangaroo)

#jackie and hyde #jackie burkhart #jackie x hyde #that 70s show #zenmasters #hydejackie #steven hyde #t70sedit #whipped hyde is my favourite hyde #that70showedit

[sairitaikutsu]

FINALLY WATCHED MK 2021

So a few things

I did not cry. Im sry but it was prolly the pacing of the movie cuz it was a little too fast, or because my brother’s asleep and it’s 2am and i’m not supposed to be loud, but i did not cry (uuu internally i did but im sad that i didnt cry). However i did feel hyped especially at the ending :D

LIU KANG RAGGHHH HE’S SO FUCKEN BABEY. I LOVE HIM. I WANNA RUFFLE HIS HAIR AND SQUEEZ HIS CHEEKS URHRHHRHGGG. HE DESERVES ALL THE HUGS IN THE WORLD‼️‼️

The shaolin boiss!! Love them. Kung Lao really said “skill issue” 😭😭 i’m just gonna casually steal that. Liu joining in was the icing on the cake

there’s a next movie coming if i remember correctly? Anyway, i’m looking forward to that as well ueueueu

Love how Kano’s portrayed here. His banter with the others was funny for a while but as the movie progressed, I got a little too immersed and the second hand embarrassment kicked in 😭

I love the idea that Cole’s just standing there while Hanzo’s talking to him in Japanese like “yeah i totally got that (did not understand a single word he said).” It doesn’t really mention that he can understand it soo yep

I FINALLY GET WHAT ONE OF THE REBLOGS ON THE GRASSHOPPER POST WHEN THEY SAID SOMETHING LIKE “(in tears remembering mk21)” THE FUCKING HEADBAND RAHH

Can Kung Lao be brought back as a revenant, pls? I’m under the impression that Bi-han will come back as Noob Saibot, so if that can happen but Revenant Kung Lao can’t, I’m gone

Overall, a solid 9/10 for me. Minus 1 because of the pacing. Again, I’m looking forward to the next :0

Shoutout to @natyoboi for watching with me lmao

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 2021 #mk 2021 #mortal kombat movie #liu kang #kung lao #kano #hanzo hasashi #mk scorpion #cole young #bi han #sub zero #mk movie #spoilers #i am not normal

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

Sasha: *On the couch watching Marcy play a video game* Hey Marcy, you remember our wedding?

Marcy: *Point to wedding photos on the walls* can’t really forget it Sasha, why do you ask?

Sasha: The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.

Marcy: *Dies in game and then looks to Sasha* I got one for you.

Sasha: *Excited* Oooh do tell.

Marcy: What does a baby computer call his father?

Sasha: What?

Marcy: Data.

Sasha: *Smiles* I got a better one, If you see a crime at an Apple store, are you an iWitness?

*Anne Comes home to see Sasha and Marcy having a pun battle*

Sasha: I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a fauox pa.

Marcy: ….. dang it how can you come up with these jokes so fast?

Sasha: Years of training young grasshopper.

Anne: Are you two done? I was hoping to get some cuddles in before dinner.

By training she means trying to find the right opening line/joke to attempt to ask Anne out back in high school. Sasha has enough bad jokes in stock she could write several books

#ask #amphibia #sashannarcy

[guooey]

- deep self-discovery is one of the most fulfilling things in life - so is self-creation - make as many things as possible by hand - learn the names of the trees around you—the birds, bugs, cloud formations, geological formations, constellations, and architectural styles. learn their histories. build depth in your surroundings - make accommodations for yourself. allow yourself to be disabled - sit on the floor more often - listen to music from the 1200s - get into etymology - make a calendar of when wild radish begins to flower and the first-week grasshoppers arrive. become intimately aware of local cycles - remember all the little creatures we used to be before primates evolved. keep them in your heart - create private monthly videos of your life - talk to your neighbors, bake them loaf cakes, offer them a hand when in need, share your excess

some life advice I have as of yet..

[snapthistiger]

found a nice grasshopper while I was mowing

then I baked a cake. all kinds of talent here.

[itsyourstarboy]

Streamer!Honey Headcanons Pt.4

First Part Next Part

It’s been over a month I’m so sorry 😭😭😭 it’s here now, and there are some things that didn’t make it into this post, but that just means more parts!

—

Guy started showing up on stream more often than he did in chat. Though, to protect his privacy, he wears sunglasses and a face mask.

Every time he seems to have a different set.

A face mask with a smiley face, or maybe it's rainbow colored, or (his favorite) a pizza pattern. Sometimes he wears one that is plain black with a small heart in the middle (honey likes to kiss the heart but not on stream ofc).

As for the glasses, I made this post talking about those ;w;

Every time he buys a new pair Honey has to go in and change out the lenses for darker ones so no one can see his eyes. They are very particular with Guy staying anonymous, they care about his safety more than they care about anything.

And unless he's willing to carry pepper spray and a pocket knife with him while he works, he is not allowed to show his face.

He loves how protective honey is, he thinks it's the cutest damn thing.

—

The first time he showed himself, he and Honey had planned it beforehand. In the middle of their stream, he knocked on the door.

Honey made a big show of faking a dramatic gasp, and saying "whoever could that be??"

They open the door, and Guy steps in like 💃💃

"Oh my god, is that the Guy??"

Guy T-poses, "it is I, The Guy."

Chat lost their shit.

MY BOY ITS HE

GUY REVEAL [NOT CLICKBAIT] *EMOTIONAL*

Oh my 😳😳

HOT DAMN

loOK AT [HONEY'S] SMILE IM FUCKING SWOONING

beautiful beutiful butiful BETTYFUL BOOOOOYYYYYY

WHY HE DANCING LIKE THAT

DAMN HE GOT CAKE

Guy had quite the ego boost after that…

—

Sometimes while sitting next to them on camera he'll slowly start to lower his face mask just so Honey will hold his face "to keep the mask on".

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Honey looks to their right to see Guy eyeing them while slowly lowering the face mask. They roll their eyes and huff, practically throwing their controller onto the desk in front of them. They take Guy's face in their hands, squishing his cheeks, and give him a hard glare.

It goes on for a few seconds, Honey's intense gaze boring through him. They lean a bit closer and their forehead presses against his, never breaking eye contact.

"Stop doing that shit," they say in a low voice that makes Guy's knees feel weak. "Please," they add quietly, and all he can do is nod.

—

The fanart increased, and this time it wasn't weird because people had more of an idea as to what Guy looked like.

Guy still thinks it's adorable, and he has taken to finding ways to share this incredible art with the world in many ways.

He likes to print out the pictures and hang them on the fridge.

He calls the people in chat his children.

Or, at least, he did until they started calling him daddy…

Now they're just his chaos squad.

—

Guy made a second Instagram account to post on without showing his face (as if he ever even posts on his personal acc)

His stories are… interesting

First there's a picture of a grasshopper he found outside with the caption "look at this dood", then you see a really blurry photo with the caption "ASGFKDGFGSJ HALP ITS EVIL".

He posts little videos of Honey 🥺

They're chilling on the couch, their legs draped over Guy's, and he turns the camera towards them with a cat face filter.

Honey makes eye contact with the camera and sticks their tongue out a little bit anD THAT LIL BLEP WITH THE DOODLE CAT EARS AND WHISKERS WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE GUY FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM ALL OVER AGAIN

Before the video cuts off you can hear him make a little gasp and the caption is "I love them"

Fans think this confirms their relationship until they see Honey's story has a video of Guy in the kitchen humming the macarena—and half ass dancing to it—while making pizza rolls with the caption "if there was a zombie apocalypse, he would die first", and it makes them think maybe not…

—

Ever since Guy's debut, he joins chat less often (much to their disappointment), but what Honey doesn't know is that this was all part of an elaborate plan cooked up by none other than their menace of a boyfriend.

He wanted to spoop them. That's a harmless little prank, right?

WRONG

Honey has the most VIOLENT reactions when they get scared, you DO NOT want to be on the receiving end.

But nooooo, Guy just wants to be a little shit.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Honey was playing The Mortuary Assistant. It's one of the few games that actually scares them from time to time, because of how unpredictable it is.

It was quiet, Honey wasn't really talking with chat. They were invested, double checking everything to make sure they were burning the right body.

Chat was basically left unsupervised, like a small child lost in the McDonald's play place.

Why do the feet have jiggle physics

✨realism✨

wouldnt the bodies be stiff tho? rick-a-morris or something?

RICK A MORRIS?!?!??!?

It's rigamortis, sweetheart

Ihatethisgameihatethisgame

EW EW NO GET THAT LIPLESS NO EYELID HAVIN ASS OFF MY SCREEN

WHY IS IT NAKED

Boy out here looking like salad fingers 🥗☝️👅👅

I’d smash ngl

Hi [Honey] <3 hope you're having a good day xoxo

That does not look like salad fingers

🌝✨rUstY💫🌚 💦🦴spOOnS🦠🥄

Baby girl got some mommy issues 😘💝😚

Lmao same 🤣😂😆

R u ok?

No :')

Can't have mommy issues if you never had a mom 😝😝

PLEASE-

Y r u joking abt this?? 😢😢

Where are the therapist people in chat?

Laughter is the best medicine ☺️☺️❤️

There they are

Alright, now everyone say 5 positive things about yourself

No

What if we don't?

I SAID 🔫🔫🔫 EVERYONE SAY 5 POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF🔫🔫🔫

HoneysHeaven: hello :)

Still no

GUY

GUY

MY GUUYY

BABY BOY BABY

HELLO 👋👋👋👋👋

HE HAS RISEN

GUY

PRAISE JUGULAR

HoneysHeaven: shh 🤫

EEEE

shh?

Ooh we be sneaky now

Y shh?

HoneysHeaven: everyone keep [honey] distracted I'm gonna spook them >:)

OOOH OK OK

SHHHHH

Oops

Pranky time 😈😈😈

Spoopy scary skeletons

Go Guy Go

On camera, you can see Guy verrry carefully open the door. He sneaks in, ever so gracefully, only tripping over himself a maximum of two times.

Despite his few hiccups, he managed to get in without Honey noticing (somehow)

Y'know that meme picture of Jason Momoa sneaking up on Henry Cavill? Yeah, that's what it looks like right now.

Honey was in the middle of a sentence when Guy pounced on them.

He wrapped his arms around them from behind and went, "BOO!"

Honey yelped and swung an arm behind them.

They've never had any training, but like… they've got a pretty damn good right hook…

They punched Guy in the face.

He fell to the ground, holding his nose, and laughed out a groan in pain.

JESUS FVCKING CHRIST

NOOOOOOOO

LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣

GUY NO HIS FACE IS BROKEN

I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA 😭😭😭

Honey immediately realized what they'd done and a hand flew over their mouth. They were kneeling next to Guy within seconds.

They cupped his face, "holy shit, are you okay!? Let me see-"

Guy's glasses had been punched off his face, but since he was on the floor, Chat couldn't see.

He had tears in his eyes though he was laughing and saying he was fine.

Honey felt so fucking bad.

"No, Honey, I'm fine really. You don't have to- no! Oh noo, Honey don't cry!"

They weren't crying, they were just… teary.

A lot just happened all at once. They got scared, and they punched their boyfriend in front of around 200k people, and they're pretty sure his nose is broken. Leave them alone.

Guy pulled off his face mask, revealing his bruised, bloody nose. Yeah. That's broken.

Honey's eyes were full of so much guilt, you'd think they murdered someone's puppy.

They did.

Their puppy.

They said sorry so many times, they sounded like a broken record. They held Guy, with their face buried in the crook of his neck, mumbling apologies, before finally coming to their senses and turning off the stream to take Guy to the hospital.

He wasn't mad at them. Of course he wasn't.

But Honey was mad at themself, because how could they ever hurt Guy like that!?

He insisted it was fine, that he understood it was a reflex, and that he shouldn't have scared them (because he knows they react violently).

Regardless, Honey sucked up to him so much while his nose was healing, let me tell you.

They babied him, they coddled him, they waited on him hand and foot.

Guy hated that they felt so guilty, but he was getting so much love and affection, so…

He wasn't even that badly hurt, these two are just dramatic

—

After that little fiasco, Guy's account now has a special alert to let Honey know that he's in chat (so he doesn't go do something stupid like that again).

At first the sound was a little ding noise, but then Guy changed it.

Now it starts playing the jaws theme.

#i know this wasnt as interesting as the other parts T^T im sorry #these were the things i was able to write down while off my meds #but since im back on them hopefully part five will have some more fun stuff #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted headcanons #redacted honey #redacted guy #redacted pizza guy #redacted streamer!honey #redacted fanfic

[tryan-a-bex]

A Reunion in the Dreaming

1274 words, Gen, fluff and cheesecake, no dragons. Thanks to @aetheltrythh and @best-wishes for beta reading! Based on this post by @windsweptinred and a prompt by @violetoftheendless; thank you! @themirokai also wrote a version of this reunion, how cool! More cake! Unity's situation is based on Desires well-tended are a hearth by @dancinbutterfly. Read it on AO3.

“Rose! Jed!” 

Unity’s eager greeting floated from where she stood waving beside the picnic she had spread out under a stately maple tree in Fiddler’s Green. Rose blinked as her mind adjusted from regular dreaming to the lucid dreaming state that let her visit with her great-grandmother in the Dreaming. Looking around, she saw Jed beside her also blinking, and watched his face transform into a huge smile as he saw Unity.

“Nana Unity!” he cried, running over to give her a big hug. The joy in her eyes as she snuggled him almost brought tears to Rose’s eyes as she walked over more sedately, joining them in a group hug when Jed and Unity refused to relinquish each other. Laughing, they finally separated and turned to the picnic. 

“Ooh, cherry cheesecake!” Jed exclaimed. Rose had shared with Unity that Jello cheesecake from a box had been Jed’s favourite when he was little, and Unity had asked Lucienne for help replicating it in the Dreaming. It seemed to have turned out well, and Jed’s reaction was especially gratifying. Enthusiastically, they all settled down to catch up over an open-air meal. 

“My manuscript is almost ready to go to the editor,” Rose shared excitedly. At least this was one deadline she wasn’t late for! She reached for a fresh strawberry in celebration.

“And how is your application for grad school going, dear?” Unity asked, pouring some lemonade for each of them.

“I’ve applied at three schools–they all have very good reputations for their Creative Writing Master’s.”

“Excellent!”

“Yeah, my buddy Joe wrote this great story about a monster robot praying mantis!” Jed interjected. “He was telling it during soccer practice. I got a goal that day, it was super awesome!”

“Wonderful!” Unity beamed at Jed’s accomplishment, and Rose glowed with how happy and settled he was becoming. As he dug into the cucumber sandwiches and sipped his lemonade, Rose turned to Unity.

“How about you, Unity? How have you been?”

“Oh, my dear! It’s so lovely to visit with Desire again! They made me happy for over a hundred years while I was asleep, and Dream has been so kind as to allow them to continue seeing me now that I am back!”

“I’m so glad for you!” Rose said. “But I thought Dream and Desire didn’t get along very well?”

“Well, no, you know, they didn’t. But I asked for them specially, and Dream was able to allow it, as long as Desire stays with me. Dream’s been visiting too, you know, at my request.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes! I thought he could use a grandmother, you know. He needs taking care of!”

“Hey, look! What’s that?” Jed pointed as a big green bug leapt out of the grass. “Oh, cool, a grasshopper!” He ran over to see if he could catch it, and crowed with joy as he startled a handful more from the grass. Rose leaned back on the blanket, full of joy at watching him regain the simple childhood pleasures he had almost missed out on.

“For example,” Unity continued, watching Jed chase the grasshoppers, “just the other day, Dream was looking kind of down, when he came for tea, and when I asked him about it, he confessed. He was feeling guilty that it bothered him that Hob was leaving his dirty socks on the floor, and he just didn’t know how (or even whether) to talk to him about it. You see? A grandmother is just what he needs.” Rose and Unity chuckled as they sipped their lemonade, but Rose was actually quite glad that Dream was finally willing to ask for and receive wise advice from time to time. 

Suddenly, Jed came running back to them.

“Look, look, what could that be?” He pointed at a couple of dark shadows high in the sky. “Dragons, do you think? Will I get to see the roc today? What if it’s a pterodactyl?” 

Unity squinted at the sky and nodded in excitement rather than agreement. “No, I think it’s something much better than any of that!”

“What?!” Rose laughed, “Better than dragons?”

“Yes, look!” Unity said as the shapes grew closer and larger. “It’s my friends, Lucienne and Gault!”

“Oh, yes, Lucienne is even better than dragons! I remember hearing Gault’s name before,” Rose mused. ”Wait, was she the one…?”

Rose’s words dwindled off as she watched Jed run toward the two women, raven and fairy wings now clear, carrying them closer to the picnic under the tree. Jed doubled back as they passed low over him, and he ran up laughing as they came in gracefully for a landing several feet from Rose and Unity. 

“Rose! Unity!” Lucienne exclaimed. She came forward to hug each of them in turn, followed by Gault who also embraced Unity. 

“I think we’ve met,” Rose said to Gault as they came face to face.

“Yes,” Gault confirmed, turning to include Jed as well. “We have met, though not under the best circumstances.”

“Wait, I remember you!” Jed tilted his head, scrutinizing the dark, glowing fairy before him. “You’re what mom turned into right before the King of Nightmares took her away.”

“Yes.” Gault smiled gently at him. “I never was your mother, I only looked like her for a time. But I did enjoy the time I spent with you, and I’m so proud of how courageous and strong you were in all of your dream adventures. I see you’ve met your real life adventures just as bravely since we were parted.” 

A thoughtful look crossed Jed’s face and he hesitated–looking around at the four beautiful women gazing at him fondly and surrounding him with love–and found his courage once more. “I have a request. Can you be Mom again? Just for a minute, so I can say goodbye to her?”

“Oh, Jed,” Rose said. “You know it won’t be Mom? Are you sure it will help, and not just make it harder for you?”

Unity nodded. “It’s hard to say goodbye to people. Sometimes saying it out loud with someone else there helps. But living in a fantasy will not help you heal.” 

“I know. But she helped me a lot, when I was at that place, and I want to say thank you.” 

As the women all nodded in understanding, Gault transformed into the shape of Miranda. Jed’s smile broke open like the sun coming through clouds, and he threw himself into her arms. They hugged for a long moment, as tears ran down everyone’s cheeks. 

“Thank you. Thank you so much for helping me there,” he said, his face buried in her chest. “Thank you for not leaving me alone.”

“You are welcome. I’m so proud of you for being so brave, and I’m so happy about how well you are doing now.”

Jed stepped back, knuckles swiping away the tears prickling in his eyes. “Goodbye, Mom.” He nodded, and Gault transformed into herself once more. Suddenly he threw himself into her arms once more. Startled, she embraced him back. “I hope we can be friends,” he said this time.

“Of course!” Gault wiped a tear from her cheek as her face also broke into a glorious smile. “I’d love to be your friend, Jed!”

“Oh, excellent!” Unity exclaimed. “Now that we’re all friends, everyone sit down and help me eat this cheesecake!” They laughed, brushing the tears from their faces, and sat around the blanket.

“So, how have you two been doing?” Rose asked as Unity handed out cake.

“You wouldn’t believe,” Lucienne answered with a smile. “The other day, Merv got himself into such a scrape…”

For the rest of that story, read Fireflies and a Missing Person. @carnelianmeluha I described the food (a little bit) just for you, but it's very simple: cherry cheesecake, cucumber sandwiches, strawberries and lemonade. The cheesecake box link is in the endnotes! @thesandwomen this is really early for your October event and it's not a femslash. But. I was thinking of you.

#the sandman #lucienne the librarian #gault the sandman #unity kincaid #rose walker #jed walker #gaulcienne #cheesecake #tryana find it back

[enemyoflactose]

Here are Most of my Yami Bakura head canons (some of them are kinda angsty)

Yami Bakura is really really good at applying eyeliner and mascara, but is dog shit at applying any other makeup.

When he's really stressed he scratches at his face and arms as hard as he can, which led to Ryou having to cut his nails so he wouldn't come back into consciousness with scratches everywhere because Yami Bakura was overwhelmed.

He has a fear of fire, but because he likes smoking he just closes his eyes when he needs a light.

He gets cold easily.

He loves dogs! If they didn't absolutely despise him they'd be his favorite animal. He settled for cobras because they seem to have unconditional love and adoration for him.

The reason Yugi, Anzu, Jonouchi, and Honda’s dolls all looked so different from Ryou's doll is because Yami Bakura made them.

He loves Godzilla movies and tried to convince Ryou to give Dark Master Zorc an atomic blast, but was shot down due to Ryou not knowing he existed. (Ryou would absolutely give DM Zorc an atomic blast)

Yami Bakura loves sweet things like cake and candy. His favorite pastry is chocolate filled croissants. He prefers it when they have the traditional croissant shape because it's easier for him to eat.

Isn't a fan of horror movies unless it's body horror or really really fucking stupid.

He likes biting his partners. Not just chomping on their skin either, he likes to nibble and really get his teeth all up in their skin. They can't bite back though because he's ticklish and will slap them really hard.

He likes to sleep in weird places. Underneath tables, in front of balcony windows, bathtubs, inside the couch.

He is a certified boob enjoyer. Doesn't matter what size. He likes all of them.

He likes neutral colors. Blacks, grays, whites, browns, and tans. Sometimes yellow.

He ate someone once. Full on cannibalized them. Only regret is that he kinda tasted bad.

He loves cats! They're not his favorite, but he loves them because they are soft and they love him back. (Dogs are the only animals that don't like him)

He doesn't like hummus. No particular reason. He just does not like it.

Completely tuned out everything Marik said after he was told his name. Everything else was in one ear and out the other.

Pretty chill with bugs unless they're flies, roaches, locusts, crickets, and grasshoppers. He doesn't like those at all.

In the situation where he got a redemption, I don't think he'd feel bad for the Yugi gang or almost ending the world. I think he just wouldn't see the point in taking revenge anymore because it obviously just wasn't working out. He isn't killing people anymore though! (He feels a little bad about Ghost and Ryou tho. He went a little overboard on them.)

He can't walk in heels over 2 inches.

He's actually really insecure about his dueling skills since he doesn't like the game that much, but he literally needs to play it.

He really likes flowers and gardening.

He keeps a copy of Tragoedia in his wallet, for memories sake.

He is incredibly touch starved, but he also feels like he doesn't really deserve to be touched in a soft and tender way. He doesn't like being kissed or hugged because that's just too gentle and loving, being bit tickles and that makes him feel too vulnerable. He can't help that he feels this way, but he just can't accept that someone actually loves him.

He stole his black trench coat from Kaiba.

Out of all of Ryou's friends, I imagine that Honda is the one he hates the least. He doesn't really do anything, and he protects Ryou from danger, so there isn't much to hate about him other than the fact he's friends with Yami.

The Yami he knows is the same Yami that burned people alive, blew people up, blew out people's eardrums, fed people to monsters, made people die a few times, and threatened to rip off people's legs. That's the Yami he knows, and he's terrified of him.

His favorite video game series is Dark Souls.

If Yami Bakura accepts the love of someone, he starts to purposely hurt them so they can stay home with him. He's subtle about it, so it's hard to tell if it's on purpose or not.

#yugioh #yami bakura #dumping these on the world

[kendyb21]

Leon Headcanons Part 2:

Hello back again with some more. 😁❤️

TW: Guns

- Besides his mother, Leon loved and got along with his maternal grandfather growing up.

- He got his Dad jokes from his grandfather.

- His grandfather was also a history buff and will give documentary tapes to Leon to take home.

- His grandfather was a veteran

- He was also a gelato guy and would always take Leon to get some in the summer

- Sadly he passed away when Leon was 11.

- Instead of cake for his birthday, they will have pie and ice cream when he was a kid. (He would cry if you gave him pie and ice cream for his birthday now.)

- Leon failed his driving test 5 times but finally passed when he was 20.

- He’s not a bad driver but I feel like when he got older he just became more reckless. (He was a nervous driver when he was younger.)

- His uncle gave him the Jeep when he got his driver's license.

- Leon did go to college but dropped out during his junior year to become a cop.

- I feel like he was studying history or science. (I can kinda see him as a history teacher or a chemistry teacher.)

- The gun he has at the beginning of RE2R is his grandfather’s.

- Leon would like to have a dog or a cat but only if he has a spouse since he feels guilty for leaving them all alone.

- He does feed strays or makes sure they are taken care of at an adoption center when he comes back from work.

- Leon can only sleep when there are soft noises in the background. (rain, wind, tv, music, etc.)

- Leon’s apartment is bare. But if you go into his bedroom in his closet or drawers, you will see a little bit of the items he kept throughout his life.

- Ada’s teddy bear keychain, MP3 player, his old flip phone decorated with stickers by Ashley, a blue leather jacket that Claire gave him, a letter from Sherry, and Chris’ note reminding him to take care when he sees him again 🥺

- Leon has different flavors of gum since he has a sweet tooth.

- He hates the mint ones though.

- He dyes his hair every couple of months.

- Also learned to cut and style his hair ever since he was in the military. (This was the only sense of freedom and control he had during that time in his life.)

- He HATES when people touch his hair unless your his spouse. (He'll kick like a horse if you do. 😭)

- Was never a morning person but was forced to be one when he was in military training.

- However, he loves sunsets.

- He is a homebody but if he had a spouse he would love to go out on car dates with them. (Leon the foodie.)

- He HATES bugs. Specifically spiders and grasshoppers.

- The man has an iron stomach but hates anything too spicy.

- Leon loves the summer but hates the winter. (Especially with the holidays.🥺)

- He hates Meatloaf because of its texture.

- Claire gave him recommendations on what type of motorcycle to get.

- Not really into candy but the man loves Skittles.

- He loves hugs but is always so awkward with them and hesitant.

- The reason why he asks people to dinner is not that he wants to date someone but because he generally wants to have human interaction. (He's so lonely.)

- If he ever could retire, he would live by the beach in another country. (PLEASE GIVE THIS MAN A TRUE VACATION)

- PlayStation kid.

Thank you for the support from the last one. I'm thinking about doing Claire or Chris soon.

#resident evil #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil headcanons #re headcanons #leon kennedy headcanons #leon kennedy fluff #biohazard #trigger warning guns

[amjustagirl]

Broken Compass: Fireflies

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x f! reader

genre: parenthood, fluff

wc: 1.5k

summary: tales of a firefly.

a/n: outtake of broken compass

Broken Compass: Tales of a firefly 

Sakusa doesn’t know how the nickname firefly for his little daughter stuck. 

As a rule, he hates insects. Loathes them with the burning passion of a thousand suns, mosquitoes that draw blood in summer (reminding him painfully of Atsumu), flies that buzz about his ears and destroy the sanctity of the cakes you bake on your days off for him (like Bokuto stealing his food from his locker), grasshoppers squatting in his sneakers, beetles crawling over his laundry and he most certainly hates hates hates cockroaches with every inch of his being. 

But fireflies. They’re different. 

He grew up in the city, where trees are scarce and the shift in seasons is marked by nothing much more than a dip or rise in temperature. But he and Motoyo used to be sent to their grandmother’s home in the countryside over the summer holidays when they were younger and their time less occupied by volleyball practice and camps. He’d hate it to bits, moping about the grass stains on his socks, the incessant chirping of cicadas (in hindsight, they remind him of Hinata), longing for his comfortable bed and neat, orderly room back home, even though Motoya would do his best to draw him out of the shell and into the games and fun he’d organise with the neighbourhood kids. 

“C’mon, live a little”, Motoya would always say, a common refrain. 

Kiyoomi tries his best, follows behind his gregarious cousin with a reasonable amount of grumbling, but he truly does not enjoy the rough play and tumble that the other children seem to prefer. 

One summer evening, the heat so stifling it settles on his skin like a scratchy woolen blanket, he’s dragged out of the house by Motoya.  “It’s already dark”, he grouches, but Motoya, used to his cousin’s cantankerous ways, just tugs him along with a steady smile. They walk and walk and walk, wending their way through backyards until they reach an open field where other children are gathered. 

“What are we doing?” he hisses to Motoya, who just shrugs. 

One of the older boys whips a  jar out, a flickering gold light gleaming softly against the clear glass. The other kids ooh and aah as he shakes the jar with a shit eating grin, the light fading in and out, the pathetic creature trapped in a macabre dance. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi is not one to make a scene, but something snaps in him and he stalks forward, grabs the jar away from the boy before he can react, twisting the cap to let the poor creature escape back into the summer skies. 

“Oi!” the boy hisses, taking a threatening step forward. 

Kiyoomi just glares at him, taking advantage of every inch of his already formidable height until the other boy shuffles back and the crowd around them disperses, disappointed that the night is ending without any further excitement. He watches the swirl of gold and amber in the purpling dusk, ends up borrowing books from the library about insects, grimacing until he finds the section on fireflies. 

He reads about how fireflies have special organs in their bellies that absorb oxygen, combining it with luciferin to glow. Each firefly has its unique flashing pattern, designed to communicate with one another, warning predators to stay away, their blood venomous. They’re fierce yet fragile creatures, their existence in the world beautiful yet brief. 

Fireflies should be treasured, admired. 

So when he holds Sachiko for the first time, listens to the sound of her soft warbling cries, the soft shine of her brown eyes, he can only think about the fact that the decades he’ll hopefully get to spend with her is still too short a time,  and he needs to spend every moment treasuring the time he has with her, basking in her glow. 

“Hello firefly”, he breathes. 

She snuffles against his chest. He loses his heart to her light. 

He knows he’s an overprotective dad. For his little firefly, he wears his heart on his sleeve, celebrating whenever she does something new even as he mourns each day passing, texting you with photos of her gummy smile, exclaiming ‘I can’t believe we made this perfect, precious being’, laughing openly when she gurgles, fretting whenever she cries. It’s an easy decision for him to take half a year off work so you can restart your career without worry, even though his boss at the JVA blinks at the unexpected request, but he’s not afraid of walking away from the job - he’s not afraid from walking away from anything but you and Sachiko. 

“She’s too young”, he argues with you when you first bring up childcare. 

He knows that he should get back to his job, that Sachiko will be completely fine in the hands of professionals, that she’ll just toddle happily after Bokuto’s wolfpack of sons, singing songs and drawing pictures and frolicking in the park, watched by doting teachers. But time is a-ticking, and every day that passes is one less day he gets to spend with his little firefly. 

“It’s for her own good”, you reply, softly but firmly. He hates that he knows you’re right. 

She needs to socialise with her peers lest she become sullen and surly like him, and he needs to get back to work so he can squirrel more savings away for her future. 

So he has to let his firefly go, let her share her light and warmth with the world. 

Still, there are tears in his eyes on the first day of preschool when Sachiko runs off ahead, hand in hand with two of Bokuto’s sons. 

You press a soft kiss to the curve of his jaw. “She’s gonna have fun all day, and we’ll see her at home all evening.” 

He’s not even embarrassed that his throat is so tight he can only croak. 

It’s a relief when he picks her up in the evening after work. She runs to him, throwing her little body in his arms, chattering to him about the friends she’s made, the drawings she’s made of her ‘to-san, her ‘ka-san and a dog - cos we should adopt a dog, Kouichi, Kouji and Kousuke just got one last week. He shudders at the chaos a dog would add to the Bokuto household and resolves to send Sachiko over there less for playdates (fat hope, his firefly has turned their trio into a quartet). 

“But I still missed you, ‘to-san!” 

“I miss you too”, he replies, eyes suspiciously wet. “Let’s go home, firefly. Your ‘ka-san’s gonna cook our favourite dinner.”

Sachiko gasps. “Umeboshi fried rice?” 

“Mmhm. Smart girl!” He lifts her up, refusing to let her down the entire walk home. 

So maybe he can’t freeze time, not even for a second. He can’t stop Sachiko from growing up. He has no right to stop her from spreading her wings, from taking flight from their burrow, her absences growing longer and longer. 

But there’s still time for more memories to be made. 

In summer, when the entire family is in need of a respite from Tokyo’s sweltering heat, they spend a week or two back in his grandmother’s home. It’s nice bringing Sachiko to the aquarium where she squeals over colourful fish, picnicking in the mountains with umeboshi onigiris, and visiting the zoo. But the highlight of the trip is when you and Sachiko unearth some ancient camping tent from the attic, identical puppy dog eyes round and pleading for him to agree to a night out under the stars. 

A barbecued dinner later which Bokuto would drool over, they lie down on the camping sheet with bellies full, watching as the sun fades and the night slowly arrives. There’s a flicker of gold at the corner of his eye, and all his effort setting up the campsite pays off when Sachiko sits up abruptly, her face lighting up with a brilliant smile. 

“Look!” 

He drinks in the scene. Sachiko and you, spellbound by the sight of fireflies dancing in dusk, identical expressions of wonder on your faces. 

“What are these?” Sachiko asks, a few minutes later, after sight before her loses its novelty. 

“They’re fireflies, little one”, you reply. 

She blinks, processing your answer. “That’s what ‘to-san calls me too!”

“That’s right”, you say. “Cos’ they’re just like you.” 

Sachiko stares at him. “Why! Am I a little bug?” 

That makes him laugh. “C’mere, firefly”, he says warmly, opening his arms so she can snuggle in. “It’s not cos’ you’re a little bug, silly girl.”

She crinkles her nose up at him. “Then why!” 

“Because”, he boops her nose. “They’re amazing and special and smart and beautiful. Just like you, firefly.”

She’s not at the age where she disavows parental affection which she inevitably will be, which he dreads. So he’s thankful that she chirps a sweet “you’re special too, ‘to-san!”, winding her arms around his neck to pepper his cheeks with kisses. Later, when they get home, you borrow books from the library about fireflies for Sachiko, and he’s absurdly happy when she asks him to read them to her every night before tucking her into bed. 

“Goodnight, firefly”, he says, turning the lights off. 

“Sleep tight”, she mumbles, eyelids already drooping shut. “No bedbugs tonight.”

a/n: hope this little bit of fluff brings some joy to you!

much love, nikki.

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa x y/n #sakusa kiyoomi x you #sakusa kiyoomi x y/n #haikyuu fluff #broken compass #storm chaser universe