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piedinthepiper · 5 months

Text

You owe me ☆

Mafia!Jungkook x psychologist!reader

Summary: It’s your job to help people, but is he really suffering? At least it’s a case of the crazy and obsessive syndrome.

Warnings: yandere!Jungkook, dub con, guilt tripping, description of murder and crime, mention of stalking, cursing, weapons (one singular gun), mention of male masturbation, descriptive smut, probably wrong use of psychological terms (oopsie)

Wc: 6.9k

A/n: This is my first post on my bts fic blog! If you like it please show your support! Don’t be a silent reader! My requests are open, share your ideas!

Disclaimer: This is 100% fiction. I am in no way saying that this is how any member of bts would act. Nor do I condone the actions detailed in the story. This is purely for entertainment purposes only. If any of the warnings trigger you, or you’re under 18 ¡do not read! I’m not your mother, and I don’t take any accountability for what you decide to read online!

Another disclaimer: I am not a licensed psychologist! Everything related to psychology in this fic is off Google, do not use this to diagnose yourself or anyone else!

Parts: | 1 | 2 |

He clutched the gun close to his chest. Hiding it under his pyjamas. His fathers words ringing in the back of his mind. “Your brother is too soft for this industry, but you son, you’re my perfect descendant.”

He walked into his family’s suite. It was dark, except for one light in the living room. His mother sat there head propped up on her hand reading a book.

“What are you doing up so late, baby?”

She asked, putting the book down in her lap and taking off her reading glasses. He looked over at the white sofa placed next to the large windows. His brother was sleeping there peacefully. Not aware of his presence.

“I let your brother sleep in the living room tonight. His nightmares have returned.”

She continued when he didn’t answer her. He slowly turned his eyes towards his mother again.

“Weak.”

He answered lowly. Her look turned concerned.

“Is something wrong, baby?

His eyes continued to stare at her. He didn’t move a muscle, not yet.

“You know I don’t like it when you look at me like that.”

She continued when he yet again didn’t answer. There was a sturdiness to her voice now. The kind of sturdiness mothers have before scolding you. He started smiling. Not in a sweet innocent way. Not in the way 11 year olds should. But in a sinister and dark way. His hand moved out of his pyjamas top. She looked at the object in his hand.

“Drop that gun right now, Jungkook!”

A scream. Three shots. And silence.

15 years later

“Your patient is here.”

Your assistant, Erin, said through the slightly ajar door to your office. You looked up from your lunch. Quickly glancing over at the stationary computer to check the time.

“I don’t have an appointment. Not in another thirty minutes.”

Erin looked back to the waiting room before slowly stepping inside the office. Closing the door quietly behind her. She walked closer to you.

“He’s been sitting here for an hour already. I told him his appointment wasn’t until 1 pm. He just said ‘I know’ and sat down.”

She hurriedly whispered afraid of whoever was sitting out there.

“Please, Erin. Don’t act like he’s crazy. Send him in, I’ll eat later.”

She gave you a look before holding up two fingers. The signal that the two of you created. Working as a psychologist you meet with all sorts of people. Even criminals. The signal signalised that she would call the police if you hit the button that called directly to the front desk.

“Stop it, there will be no need to call the police. He’s harmless.”

“If you say so.”

She shrugged and walked out the door. The next time it opened a familiar figure entered.

“Good afternoon, Doctor.”

“You’re early Mr. Jeon.”

You had been treating Jungkook Jeon for a little over a month now. And you had come to the conclusion that he had PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. After he had witnessed a series of murders and crimes during his childhood. He was vague about the past, but a few things came out here and there. You only knew about his absent father and that his brother and mother had both been killed. No description of how or when. Which is common at first. It’s hard to re-live your trauma.

“I’m sorry I disturbed your lunch. Just eat, I don’t mind.”

He said as he sat down in the white sofa across your desk. You gave him a small smile as you reached into your drawer.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll eat after our session.”

You said as you fished his file up and opened it on you desk. You quickly read your notes from the last session as you continued talking.

“How are you doing? Still having nightmares?”

You looked up from the file maintaining eye contact as he answered your question.

“Sometimes, but not as often as before. I dream of you instead now.”

His eyes never left yours as he bit his lip, playing with his piercing he had there. You nodded.

“How often do you dream about me? And what are the dreams about?”

You asked as you scribbled it down in your notes.

“Every now and then they occur. Especially after our sessions. Or after I read your books. You’re a good writer Dr. y/l/n.”

He started smiling. His smile wasn’t sweet, it was different from how he had smiled at you before.

“As for what they’re about, I don’t think you’d want to know, Doctor.”

You tried concealing your confusion at his last statement. Curiosity taking over you.

“Dreaming about people you frequently surround yourself with is not uncommon. If you don’t like to talk about it we don’t have to. I would just like to know if they’re good or bad dreams.”

He nodded, still not breaking his smile nor the eye contact.

“Oh they’re good, Doctor. Don’t worry.”

You smiled back at him.

“That’s good to know. I’m glad to hear your nightmares are slowly being changed with good dreams.”

It went silent for a moment as you wrote down the good news. When you looked up again he wasn’t looking at you anymore, and for some reason you felt relived. His eyes were big and doe like, and when they focused on you for too long you would sometimes feel uneasy. You wondered so what those eyes had experiences in the past.

“What about your sudden outbreaks, are you able to control your anger better?”

He focused on you again the second he heard your voice. His smile returned.

“Sort of, I’ve been letting out the aggression in the gym, after you adviced me to try to stay active. I’ve started boxing.”

You smiled and nodded, writing down boxing in your notes.

“That’s good to hear. It seems that you’re getting better Mr. Jeon, much b-“

“Jungkook, call me Jungkook.”

He interrupted. You stopped and looked at him for a second.

“And no, I’m not cured. I still need you.”

You slowly nodded.

“Well there is no cure for your diagnosis, it’s a matter of being at peace with living with it. But I can understand that you still have things you would want to talk about. Maybe you would like to open up to me about your past?”

The room grew quiet. His eyes now focused on his hands in his lap. His demeanour changed completely.

“I have told you about my past. If I didn’t you wouldn’t have been able to diagnose me in the first place.”

He answered with a bit of underlaying annoyance. You sighed. Something felt off, but you couldn’t figure out what.

“You have told me some parts yes. If you want to go more in detail you can, I’m not forcing you. As your psychologist I would advise talking about it with me. It could be nice to have an outsiders perspective.”

You said in a soft tone. Trying to get your point across at the same time as being gentle. You didn’t want him to feel pressured or as if he had to say anything. When he didn’t open his mouth you understood you crossed his personal line of what he feels fit for you to know. You spoke after almost a minute with silence.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to. You can think about-“

“You’re a smart one.”

He interrupted you again. His eyes raised to meet yours.

“That’s why I like you. You know to some extent what is going on inside my head. I could never do that. I never know what is going on inside your head. If you think I’m weak or even crazy.”

“I don’t think you’re crazy nor weak. It’s not your job to know what is going on inside my head. But it is my job to know what’s going on inside yours.”

He nodded before patting the sofa seat beside him.

“Come here.”

He simply said. You don’t know why, but you had a bad feeling in your stomach. He was acting differently today, compared to other sessions. Either way you got up from your chair, knowing that doing what he said would get you an insight of what you wanted to know. You slowly walked around your desk and sat down in the small sofa next to him. You crossed your legs trying your best not to get too close to him, but he seemed to man spread even more. Making your thighs touch. You placed your notebook in your lap, ready to write down exactly what he told you. He took a hold of your wrist.

“You’re not writing this down, Doctor. I need your full attention.”

It was the first time he had touched you, beside the first time you met when you shook hands. It made you think that you usually never have any sort of physical contact with your patients. Maybe that’s exactly what they need. What he needs to open up to you. You put your notebook down, and continued holding his hand. He looked down at your hands intertwining. Your smooth small hand was a sharp contrast to his bigger tattooed one.

“Tell me whatever you feel comfortable with telling me.”

You said to get his attention back to reality. He went quiet for a few seconds.

“I grew up in a hotel. It was a nice hotel, four stars, good breakfast. My father was almost never home, I didn’t mind though. I had my mother and my brother there. It was perfect in the beginning.”

He stopped. You looked down at his hand, it was shaking. You started drawing small circles at the back of his hand. Trying to calm him down. He looked down at your hands again.

“One night when I was sleeping I was woken up by a loud bang. The door to our home was broken down. A man entered and started shooting. My brother was still sleeping on the sofa and died instantly. My mother reached her gun and shot the man in the shoulder.”

He looked into your eyes.

“But he shot her in the head.”

You nodded, looking down at the floor. You knew he was looking at you, but you couldn’t meet his eyes in that moment.

“Did you find out who that man was? Why he would do such a thing.”

He went quiet again at your question. His grip on your hand tightened, as if what he was going to say would make you pull away.

“He was a mobster. Like my father. After the incident he trained me as the next leader of his group. I was 11.”

You looked at him. His childhood was worse than you thought, but he wasn’t saying all this as if it was a traumatic experience. It seemed like he was bragging about it. You would have to go through your notes and his file after work to see if there was something you were missing about him. You couldn’t jump to conclusions just yet.

“Thank you for telling me.”

You smiled at him. He looked back at you with those big eyes. You looked at the watch on your wrist. The session was over.

“Look at the time.”

You were about to let go of his hand to get up from the sofa. But he grabbed you harder. Forcing you to sit still.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon. But our session is over-“

“I’ve told you to call me Jungkook.”

“Jungkook, I have other patients today as well. We can continue this next week.”

You tried to assure him. He still didn’t let go.

“I’ve never told anyone about this, and you decide to end the session this quickly?”

You grabbed his hand with your other hand as well.

“You know I usually don’t end sessions like this. But I can’t let my other patients wait. You’re free to sit in the waiting room for as long as you want to.”

He frowned at your comment, but relaxed his hand nonetheless. You got off the sofa and walked to your desk again. Before you could say anything else he got up from the sofa and hastily walked out the door. Slamming it shut behind him.

You had two more patients that day. You waved goodbye to your last patient of the day, a young girl named Olive Thomson who was suffering from severe anxiety, as she walked through the door. You got up from your chair and collected your things. You turned off the computer and the light. You made sure to lock the door as you always do. The only thing you had to do now was say goodbye to Erin by the front desk, and you could go home. You walked into the waiting room.

“Finally.”

You turned to find the owner of the voice, as it was clearly not Erin’s.

“Mr. Jeon what are you doing here?”

You asked as you looked at the man seated in one of the waiting chairs.

“I told him he had to leave, I promise.”

You heard Erin whisper behind you.

“You said I could sit here for as long as I wanted to, Doctor. And please, just call me Jungkook.”

He was clearly upset. You remembered your words from earlier, but you didn’t think he would spend almost four hours just sitting there.

“I did, you’re right. I’m leaving now, Erin will be here for another two hours. But after that we’re closed.”

He got up from the chair.

“I was waiting for you.”

He simply said.

“I’m sorry our session ended so brutally, but I promise we’ll talk about it next week.”

You said and patted his shoulder as you walked past him towards the exit.

“Goodbye, Erin!”

You said as you made your way outside. The wind was cold and you clutched your coat closer to you as you walked towards your car.

“The least you can do is eat with me.”

He had followed you outside. You turned to look at him.

“I’m not that hungry, I just want to go home.”

You was going to open your car door, but his hand suddenly blocked the door. You were about to cuss him out. Tired of his antics.

“You haven’t eaten all day, I hardly doubt that one bite you had for lunch filled you up.”

He sounded threatening, something he had started to do recently.

“I just want to hear your thoughts on what I said. Don’t you think you owe me that? Or do I have to wait a week and dread finding out your opinion of me?”

He was desperate, you could see it. What he was saying was true. He would walk around overthinking for the next week and his health could worsen. You had to take action according to your diagnosis.

“Ok, I’ll eat with you.”

The two of you were sitting at some restaurant. The lights were low and to everyone around you, the two of you looked like a couple on a date. This was obviously not something you would do with your patients, you like to keep things professional. Something about this whole situation felt anything but professional.

“Get whatever you want, my treat.”

He said deeply focused on the menu. You shook your head.

“No thank you, I can pay for my own food.”

You answered.

“I’m the one responsible for you not being able to eat your lunch right? You owe me this meeting and I owe you food. Two birds with one stone.”

You sighed when you didn’t have a rebuttal. The two of you ordered, and the silence grew more and more awkward.

“I’m sorry again, Mr. Jeon I’m-“

“Jungkook. Please y/n! Just call me Jungkook!”

He was clearly upset now. You were a bit taken aback from the sudden use of your first name. He had never called you by your first name before. And the feeling of the professionalism fading away became more apparent.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to remember your request.”

“Say it. Say my name.”

For some reason you didn’t feel like you had it in you. It felt so strange to call a patient by their name, the same way it felt weird to be called your name by a patient.

“Jungkook.”

You managed to get it out, but you couldn’t look him in the eye saying it. The food luckily came quickly, you were starving. Plus it saved you from whatever he was going to answer. You decided to take the lead. Wanting to stay on track for the actual reason you said yes to join him.

“You said your father was a mobster. Do you know if he’s still living that lifestyle? Do you have any contact with him?”

You asked after taking a big bite of your pasta. Jungkook swallowed before answering your question.

“My father is dead. He’s been dead for 7 years now.”

A question came to mind, but you didn’t know if you dared ask him. You remember he said his father trained him to the life of crime at a young age. For him to take over his fathers legacy. With his father gone he would be next in line to whatever group his father had built. He got the image. Tattoos, piercings, the black clothes. But you couldn’t imagine him being a mafia boss. Maybe it was some sort of stereotype that strong, tough men don’t go to the psychologist. But you were starting to rethink his intentions.

“You’re thinking about something.”

You looked up from your food. He was staring at you.

“Look at you, you do have the ability to understand my mind.”

You said lightheartedly. He chuckled.

“I think you’re brave. Not many people survive the kind of neglect and trauma you’ve experienced in your childhood.”

You said, trying to give him an answer for his entire life story. He nodded and suddenly reached for your hand across the table. You jumped, but didn’t remove your hand. You didn’t want to make a scene with this many people around.

“I’m fine, y/n. I think the only cure I need is you.”

His statement combined with his eyes staring into your soul, gave you chills down your back. Something was off about him. You had to ask. You just had to.

“When your father died, did you…?”

He smiled. The same sinister smile he smiled at you earlier that day.

“I did. I took over his legacy. Me and my father were actually great friends the years before he died. Not that I cared for him. I don’t think I’ve ever cared for anyone in my entire life.”

Another shot of chills froze your body at his statement. You had overlooked it this entire time. His calm demeanour, his tendency to physically violence, his intelligence and charisma and now his lack of empathy. He didn’t suffer from PTSD, he had been lying this entire time.

“At least not until I met you.”

He interrupted your thoughts. You pulled your hand out of his quickly. You took a deep breath trying to compose yourself.

“That’s nonsense. You must’ve cared for your mother.”

He shrugged.

“Not really, she wasn’t exactly the best mother.”

“You don’t really have those nightmares do you?”

You asked, looking at him. It took him a few seconds to answer. Probably contemplating if he should continue his lies or tell the truth.

“I don’t.”

“You didn’t really have a problem with your mother or brother dying either right?”

He let out a small laugh.

“I just told you.”

“Just answer me.”

He poked his tongue into his cheek and leaned forward onto the table.

“What is this? Are you trying to diagnose me, Doctor?”

He said mockingly.

“Answer me.”

You commanded. He sighed and started smiling at you again.

“Everyone has to die at some point. Doesn’t matter when or how.”

You nodded. Your instinct was true.

“You don’t have PTSD, you have ASPD.”

He licked his lips and cocked his head.

“And what does that mean, Doctor?”

“You’re a sociopath.”

He looked taken aback from your bluntness for a second. He probably wasn’t expecting you to crack his code.

“You’ve lied this entire time for your own personal gain. I must admit your acting was really good. But my question is, what do you want?”

He was quiet for a second. You knew he was fighting a war on the inside.

“I really underestimated you y/n. I knew you were smart, but personally I don’t think PhDs make a person smart by default. You’ve really proven yourself to me.”

“My efforts were not made to impress you. You think too highly of yourself Mr. Jeon.”

His gaze switched, you had aggravated him. Not only by calling him by his last name, but by attacking his self image.

“Why don’t you come home with me, we can continue our conversation there.”

You shook your head, and arranged the cutlery neatly by the side of your half empty plate.

“I do not go home with patients, and I definitely do not go home with mobsters. You have already challenged my professionalism by taking me out to eat.”

He smirked.

“What if I stop being your patient? In all honesty I don’t really need your advice, Doctor.”

You grabbed your bag and got up from your seat.

“In all honesty I think you do. We will continue this conversation in my office next week. Good night Mr. Jeon.”

With that you walked away from the table. Not looking back.

The next few days you were on edge. Constantly overthinking everything that had happened that day with Jungkook. You almost wanted to call in sick. Terrified of what would happen next. But regardless of that you had to continue working. You couldn’t let your other patients get affected by whatever was going on with you. You said goodbye to Mrs. Humphrey. An elderly woman that had fallen into depression after her husband had passed. Once the door closed you fetched your lunch out of your bag. You didn’t feel like eating, but you knew you had to. If not your energy would be drained at the end of the day. After the first bite you started hearing noises outside. Erin was almost yelling outside your door. You stood up, wanting to investigate what the commotion was. Before you could take one step the door swung open. And there he stood, your nightmare for the last couple of days.

“I told him you were busy, Dr. y/l/n! I told him he couldn’t enter!”

Erin said hopelessly behind him. He was soaking wet from the rain. His hair plastered itself to his forehead. And his black shirt did the same to his abdomen. He didn’t move, he was just staring at you with a furious look in his eyes.

“It’s fine, Erin. I’ll handle this.”

Erin looked at Jungkook worriedly before looking back to you. She held up two fingers. You nodded, and she left.

“Sit.”

You said, as you yourself sat down behind your desk. He closed the door behind him, but didn’t sit down. He continued to lure near the door.

“You interrupt my lunch again, I don’t want this to become a habit.”

“Please, spear me the bullshit.”

He said, and you went quiet. Wanting him to say whatever he came here for.

“How did you do it?”

He said after some time. You looked confused at him. Not understanding what he was referring to.

“Did what?”

You asked in almost a sharp tone. You were annoyed. He let out a small laugh, it almost sounded like a sneer.

“You’re cute when you’re angry with me.”

He started slowly walking towards you.

“But I need to know how you did it, y/n.”

He stopped once he reached the end of your desk. You looked up at him.

“What did I do?”

You ask again. He puts his palms on the table and lean closer to you. You don’t move, trying to prove to him and yourself that you’re not scared.

“You figured out a side of me I never understood I had. If I, the person that’s bearing this disease didn’t know. How come you knew?”

You leaned back in your seat and crossed your arms. He was clearly distressed. Maybe even more than what you had been for the last days. And for some reason it pleased you.

“I told you, this is what I do. This is my job.”

You could tell he was conflicted in what to do next. You could practically see the way the wheels were turning inside his head. But eventually he sat down.

“I studied the human mind for six years to be able to understand things not even you are aware of.”

He scowled at you as you talked to him in a harsh tone.

“I’ve done research, and I’ve written books about this, that you have read may I add. What made you think that I wasn’t capable?”

He didn’t answer. The two of you just stared at each other.

“This is not a session, I demand answers, Jungkook.”

His eyes lit up when he heard his name fall off your tongue.

“Like I said, I underestimated you.”

He answered short.

“You didn’t answer my other question.”

You stated. He looked confused at you.

“The question from the other night. What do you want?”

He started laughing. You did not find it funny, and watched him as his fit of laughter died down.

“Y/n, you can’t be serious! You’re telling me that you were able to diagnose me with some bullshit, while I was pretending to be something else. But you’re not able to see the fact that I want you.”

The room got quiet. For the first time in a long time you felt completely speechless. He moved to get up from the sofa, but stopped the second he saw you roll your chair further away from him. He could tell you were afraid now, there was no point in acting tough.

“Come here.”

He said with a smirk and patted his thigh this time. There was still fight in you though.

“You’re disgusting.”

You uttered. He sneered at your comment.

“You’ve exploited me for your own satisfaction this entire time.”

You looked strictly at him, as he sighed.

“What was I supposed to do? You’re constantly on my mind. Day and night. And it’s awful!”

“That’s called an obsession.”

“I know what it’s called!”

He bit back. You went quiet, waiting for him to give you more information.

“The only way I can get a break is after i come to the thought of you. It usually takes around three times until I’m too tired to think of you.”

You couldn’t hide your disgust from your facial expression anymore. Looking at him as if he was a rat on the street.

“And then I thought if that helps, the real deal would help even more.”

He got up from the sofa now. You stayed seated, your hand slowly moving across your desk towards the telephone.

“I need you, y/n.”

You broke eye contact and looked down to hit the right number for the front desk. Jungkook quickly understood what happened and pushed the stationary phone off the desk. It fell to the floor with a bang, breaking it on impact. You got up quickly, wanting to distance yourself from him.

“How did you know? About the phone, about me. We never met before our sessions. Why? I don’t understand.”

You blurted out in pure stress of the situation. He smiled as he started walking towards the side of the desk. You walked the other way, wanting to keep the desk between the two of you. He chuckled.

“You’re cute when you’re confused too.”

You continued walking backwards. Trying to keep as much distance from him, while he tries to close it.

“I’ve followed you for a long time, baby. A very long time.”

The two of you had walked an entire round around the desk now. He jumped down onto the sofa again. His hand gracing the sofa cushions beside him.

“Do you want to know the full story?”

You knew what he was hinting at. Your entire body was screaming not to get anywhere near him. But you needed to know. He didn’t have anything to hold back now, you were certain he would tell you the truth. So you walked towards the sofa, carefully sitting down beside him. You took a second to compose yourself before looking at him. Signalising that’s you were ready. He smiled.

“I have known you since we both were children. Your father was my brothers shrink. He´s the one that had PTSD. I saw you for the first time in the hotel lobby after your father had finished his session with my brother. You were maybe 6 and sat there for so long, waiting for your father to return. When I saw you, I knew we were meant to be. We were soulmates. And for the first time in my life I felt something for someone.”

He grabbed your hand. You quickly out of reflex tried to wiggle yourself out of his grip. He tugged your hand harshly towards him and your entire upper body followed. Without your hand to catch you, you fell straight into his chest. His other hand sneaked around your waist as you composed yourself.

“Let me go.”

You said annoyed, placing your hand on his chest to keep a distance.

“If you want to hear the rest, you have to play by my rules, baby.”

His eyes focused on your lips as he whispered to you. You shook your head.

“I don’t need to know the rest. I can make out the sob story on my own. Boy falls in love, boy doesn’t get girl.”

He shook his head and let go of your waist. You quickly sat back up, brushing off imaginary dust from your lap.

“You should show me some respect.”

He said with a serious tone. You rolled your eyes and crossed your eyebrows.

“I’m not scared of you.”

He chuckled at your comment, placing his hand around the back of the sofa.

“I don’t want you to be scared of me either. I just think that you should show the man you owe your life to some respect.”

He touched your shoulder, drawing small circles on your jumper.

“I don’t owe you anything.”

He smirked.

“Oh, but you do. I made you the person you are today. Without me you wouldn’t be here.”

You sighed tiredly at him.

“You’re unbelievable.”

You got up from your seat and walked back to your desk. Starting to pack up your stuff. You were so done with him. He needed help, but you would no longer treat him. You decided as much.

“I need to get out of here, if you’re not gone when I’m back I’ll call the police.”

You put your bag over your shoulder, ready to walk away.

“How did you get into Yale, Doctor?”

He asked out of the blue. You stopped in your tracks.

“What? Why?”

He shrugged.

“Just seems so weird that someone with your grades would be able to attend any Ivy League school. Don’t you agree?”

You went quiet. Not knowing where he wanted this conversation to go.

“And don’t you think it’s weird how you always got A’s even when you were out partying instead of studying?”

You thought back to the years when you were studying. You originally did only apply to Yale just because your father went there. You didn’t think you actually was going to make it, because your grades were mediocre.

“What are you saying?”

“You have no idea how many people I had to blackmail to get you there. How many men I had follow you constantly. How many professors I had to bribe to make them give you a good grade. I’ve spent millions on you, y/n!”

Your mind was racing. You didn’t understand anything. Was your entire life a lie?

“I have to give it to you. Your first book made it without my help. But when you came out with your second book, and it wasn’t a success right away. I bought almost half the copies and payed a hefty amount of money to make it a New York Times best seller.”

You dropped your bag in awe. What he was saying made a lot of sense. You started rethinking every significant moment in your life. Wondering if he was behind it all. He got up from his seat and started moving towards you. But this time you didn’t step back. You let him come close to you.

“I’ve done so much for you, baby. Why are you so ungrateful?”

You looked up at him. He was now standing right in front of you. So close that you could almost feel his breath on your skin.

“I didn’t ask you to do any of this. You can’t keep me in debt for something I-“

You struggled with continuing the sentence. The reality of his words hit you, and your tears threatened to spill.

“It’s ok, baby. I’m not asking for much, considering what I’ve given you.”

He whispered calmly. His hands found your waist. He took one step closer to you and placed his forehead against yours.

“All I want is you, right here on this sofa, showing me how grateful you are.”

You couldn’t hold your tears in anymore, letting them slowly drip down your cheeks. One of his hands abandoned your waist to wipe away the hot tears on your cheek. You looked into his eyes as he continued to hold your face.

“If I do it, will you leave me alone?”

His eyes focus on your lips and how close you were. He had never been this close to you.

“I can never leave you. You’re my soulmate.”

He simply answered. You looked down at the floor.

“Jungkook, you’re delusional. You have to stop.”

“How can I stop? Huh? You’re the only one that matters in my life!”

You continued looking at the floor, even when he pushed himself off you in his fit of rage.

“I fucking love you!”

You shook your head, looking up at him this time.

“You don’t love me! You don’t even know me! You’ve created this illusion in your head that we are meant to be, but we’re not!”

You yelled back at him angrily.

“You’ve interfered in my life when I didn’t ask you to! You don’t have the right to do that!”

“And where would you be without me?”

He argued back.

“You act like you don’t care! But you know that without my help you wouldn’t be anything. You would’ve been a nobody.”

His words stung. What he was saying was the truth. The hard truth. You would have never made it to college. Never gotten this job. Never been a successful author. Never followed in your fathers footsteps and made him proud. You heard Jungkook sigh.

“I’m sorry baby, but it’s the truth.”

He said dejectedly. You took a deep breath. Realising what you had to do.

“I’ll do it.”

You simply said and met his eyes.

“I’ll have sex with you once, but after this I need you to stop.”

“Baby-“

“Listen to me! I’ll find you another psychologist. I want you to go to there and get help. When your treatment is over-“

You stopped for a second. Contemplating if you wanted to commit to the promise you were about to make.

“I’ll meet you again. To talk. I can’t promise you more than that.”

His eyes lit up and he swiftly lifted you in a hug. Letting out small sounds of excitement and shaking you around a little. You couldn’t help but smile at his boyish action. After a moment he put you down again, but continued to hold your waist.

“I’ll do whatever you say, baby. I’ll do anything for you.”

Your hands found his strong chest. You kept the eye contact, but your eyes couldn’t help but flick down to his lips for a split second. And that’s all he needed to kiss you. It started slow, but quickly got hotter. Your hands slid around his neck, unconsciously pulling him deeper into the kiss. He stepped backwards. You were taken aback by the sudden movement, but followed his lead. He guided the two of you to the sofa. The same sofa he had sat in every time he came to your sessions. He broke the kiss to jump down on the sofa. He looked up at you with nothing but lust in his eyes. He had been waiting for this for many years, and finally he had you. He reached out for you as you straddled his lap, feeling his already hard cock between the fabric of your trousers. His hands moved down to your ass. Grabbing it the second he had a chance, and letting out a satisfied groan. You reached down to the hem of your top and pulled it off.

“You’re so fucking hot.”

He said with half lidded eyes as he watched your bare skin. You smirked at his comment and reached for his shirt as well. He lifted his back off the sofa to help you get it off. Once it was off you started examining his tattoos. Tracing his arm with your finger all the way up to his shoulder. You stopped once you saw the little circular scar. Your entire body froze as you remembered his words from your last session. “My mother reached her gun and shot the man in the shoulder. But he shot her in the head.”. He looked at you confused for a second, before he looked at his shoulder where your eyes were glued. He understood what you were thinking.

“You killed your family.”

You said and looked back at him. He was already shaking his head.

“The man was you. You killed them.”

You tried to get up from his lap, suddenly scared of the killer you were straddling. But he held you down with a strong grip.

“Baby calm down, let me explain.”

You continued to struggle. Not listening to his words.

“Y/n!”

He suddenly screamed. Getting your attention. He sighed.

“I didn’t kill them.”

“I don’t fucking believe you.”

You started struggling again, now hitting his chest as well. He quickly flipped the two of you. Pushing you down onto the sofa with his own body weight. Holding your wrists harshly.

“So what if I killed them? It doesn’t take away from the fact that you still owe me this!”

He looked dangerous on top of you like that. A single tear fell down the side of your cheek. He was right yet again. He kissed you tenderly. It was a sharp contrast to the tone in his voice.

“You still owe me your body.”

He started kissing down your neck. Eagerly taking one of your boobs in his hand. His crotch grinded against you for a second before you heard him curse under his breath.

“I’ll have to taste you another time. I can’t fucking wait any longer to be inside you.”

He started working on your jeans. Ripping them off in a hasty speed together with your panties. He quickly loosened his belt and repeated the action on himself. His cock sprung free, but you weren’t able to look at it for more than a second before he lifted your legs over his shoulders and pushed into you. The two of you moaned in unison. He was big, but he took little to no time for you to adjust, as he started thrusting into you with brutal force.

“You’re so fucking tight.”

He moaned, stopping his motion to spit on your pussy. Using it as lubricant. He continued quickly after. Moans and heavy breathing filled your office as the two of you strived to reach your orgasms. He reached down and started rubbing your clit. Almost overstimulating you.

“I’ve waited for this for so long, baby. You feel better than I ever imagined.”

You felt a familiar knot building in your lower stomach. The rapid speed of his hands and the stretching of his cock making you come closer to release quicker than ever.

“I need to come inside you. I need to fill you up, baby.”

You nodded. Not knowing or caring what you said yes to. You were already on cloud nine and needed him to continue whatever he was doing.

“Say my name.”

You understood he was close, and you were too.

“Jungkook!”

You moaned as your orgasm washed over you. You legs clenched around him, and your hands found his arms. Digging your nails into his skin. He came the second he heard his name escape your mouth. He let you ride out your orgasm, before he fell on top of you. You felt his breath go back to normal as he nuzzled into your neck. The two of you laid there in serenity for a while. Just feeling each others heartbeats and listening to each others breathing.

He would do as you told him. He would go see someone. He would do whatever it took to have you like that again. He would never let you go. You owed him this after all.

Thank you for reading! Do you want to read more?

Masterlist

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ao3commentoftheday · 28 days

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If you find it difficult (or annoying) to post on AO3, considering changing from the default HTML to the more familiar Rich Text. You can find these buttons at the top right of the box where you enter the text of your fic.

If you dislike the Rich Text format, or if you're having issues when you copy/paste from somewhere else such as Google Docs, then I have a post over here with a tool (and instructions) that will convert your fic into html for you so you can just copy/paste it in without any worries or additional effort.

Also, AO3 recommends that you don't write your story directly in that AO3 form because your work isn't saved until you hit the button at the bottom of the page. To avoid the risk of losing your work, consider writing your story somewhere else and copying it over into AO3.

#welcome wattpad #how to ao3 #I have so many meme-related ideas for presenting information XD #how do you do fellow kids?

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batwynn · 8 months

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In 2019 I made a complaint to an office that handles complaints about accessibility about a ramp and door at a local post office that was not accessible at all for people who use wheelchairs or walkers. I am not a walker or wheelchair user, but I noticed that there was a large gap in the ramp that wheels could get trapped in, the ramp itself was short, and provided no space for someone to turn to enter, and the door had no button AND could not even open completely to let someone through.

It’s hard to see from the Google Maps, but it was BAD. And it pissed me off. So I made a report. I got passed around from office to office for a few months, then nothing. 2020 comes around and the pandemic is hitting a high. I’ve moved towns and I’m dealing with a kind of shitty living situation that’s driven the ramp out of mind. I got a call one day from a man in one of the many offices the complaint was forwarded to. He is adamant that this ramp and door will be fixed. I mean, he assures me with passion that this will be fixed. At the time, I was really impressed and happy to hear something like that because I didn’t think anyone would still care while so much bad stuff was going on in the world.

And then I get mistreated and harassed by people based on my disabilities and gender. I become homeless because of it. I made an official complaint about discrimination, and the offenders lie through their teeth. The office handling my complaint says it didn’t happen, and closes the case. So I don’t exactly believe in these protections and offices that promise you’ll be helped so much anymore. I checked Google Maps one last time to see no changes sometime in 2021. It’s been a bitter, shitty feeling to hold on to for years now.

And then I checked my email just now.

Ideally, they’d have added a door with an automatic opener, but they actually fixed everything else! They fixed it!

They fucking fixed it!

So, make those complaints. If a business or building is breaking the law by being inaccessible, fuck them up. Get your friend to report it, too. Maybe it will take four years, but maybe not. Maybe someone will genuinely care and actually fix it.

#ADA #accesability #disability #disability activism #disability accessability #I can’t fucking believe it #I really like after four years???#someone actually fucking cared and did the thing?

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antimony-medusa · 20 days

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How To Set Up An Ao3 Exchange

One of the first things I say whenever anyone asks me about running exchanges is that if you have more than about 30 people in the exchange, do NOT try to match it by hand. That is so much work and takes so much time. Use Ao3's matching algorithm. And people say sure, and then they look at how Ao3 works and they go uhhhhhhhhhh I think we can make a google form work. Because google forms are reasonably intuitive to make work, and Ao3 exchanges are— not.

But the thing is, once you understand the underlying logic for Ao3 collections, they are not that bad, and seriously I can't overstate the benefit of having Ao3 do the matching for you. That's like the difference between 80 hours of curating data as it comes in and then matching it (what happened with hand-matching 325 people for holiday exchange), or 2 hours of double-checking the matching (what happened with matching 125 people for 48 hour exchange). You have to put in extra work to get an Ao3 exchange set up, but it super pays off in the end. So! Here is an intro to how Ao3 exchanges work on the back end. This explanation assumes you know how to sign up for an exchange because I've posted ones like that before, for example, here.

Let's get into it.

THE COLLECTION

The first thing you want to do is set up your exchange collection. If you go to your right-hand drop-down menu, you click on My Collections.

That brings you to every collection you have ever made, and you go to to the right and click "New collection".

That brings you into the back end of the collection. You want to go down and put in a name for the collection that will be the url (so no spaces), a display name, an email for the collection to email when something happens to the collection (this will be public, so use a fandom email), and a basic description.

There's places there to do custom icons and headers, but those are optional, but you can go in and make your exchange pretty later if you want!

We are still in the "setting up" stage of the exchange, so once we go to preferences, you want to select all the tick boxes and make it look like this.

Moderated means that you'll have to manually approve things to be added to the collection (not absolutely necessary but can keep out trolls, and it also means that you can manually check that gifts meet minimums before you let them in to the exchange), Closed means that no one can submit things to the collection yet (once you open your exchange you de-select this), Unrevealed means that any works in the collection will show up as "mystery works" and not be readable (so you keep it unrevealed until the posting date, so people can post early but not spoil the surprise), anonymous means that all authors will be anonymous (this depends on if you have an anonymous portion of your exchange, so it's optional), "show random works" just means that you get a selection of different works when people visit the collection at different times, "send a message to the collection email" is optional but is useful for moderation (like if you're checking people off a list when their gifts get delivered), and "type of challenge" you want to be sent to "gift exchange".

and then on this page the only other things of concern are places where you can put in an FAQ, a description and some instructions, but those are all optional! I normally host the FAQ on tumblr, so I just say "go check the tumblr at [link]".

And then you hit the submit button.

Now we get into the nitty-gritty.

First up is some optional stuff— you can add in the times that you're going to do things! This is useful for communication, but not necessary. We're still setting everything up, so you do not want Sign-Ups to be open, that is only selected once you have everything ready to go.

Then scrolling down, you get to Requests and Offers.

This is where you specify the absolute minimum ships or characters that you want people to give you to sign up. 10 is the maximum Ao3 allows, so I always set it to 10 for both "allowed", which is the maximum the site will allow. And required is the low number. I usually set it to a minimum of three, to make sure someone doesn't sign up with "i will only write one ship" or something. This way, people will have to do a minimum of three separate requests and offers.

The "requests visible" is part of the back end thing, and it's up to you if you want to select it or not. If you keep it unselected, the only person who will be able to see requests is the mods, and eventually each person will see their assignment. If you select it, people will be able to browse everyone's requests and both maybe target offers so they can write for a specific person, and be able to find treats (extra bonus gifts) to write for people whose requests they like. Each side has its own benefits or negatives, it's up to you which ones you want to go with!

And here we get into more of the matching info! Let's look at Request Settings.

Now this is what the settings would look like for a multi-fandom exchange. The "details/description" box you want to make mandatory because that is where people will put their DNW and their prompts (and you absolutely want to make sure everyone has a DNW), and the url is an optional one which lets people link an off-site letter on google docs or dreamwidth.

Fandom allowing up to three fandoms means that people can do crossovers if they want (or tag a request something like 3rd life/hermitcraft), and if I wanted to say that people had to request 3 separate servers I would say "must be unique" but I'm okay if people sign up with three Dream SMP relationships in this idea hypothetical exchange, so I'm not selecting the unique button.

I'm ignoring the characters button cause that's extra complication, the only other thing I want to look at is the relationship button. A minimum of 1 ship per request (and there's a minimum of three requests), and let's say you can go up to 20, so people can request LOTS of different ships. I did select "must be unique" so someone can't sign up with the same ship three times. The "allow any" button is off, which means that I will have to select relationships that fit under the fandom that I selected one up, I can't request Shubble/Niki Nihachu (Origins), and put it with a fandom request for Hermitcraft. This has set it so that the absolutely minimum someone can sign up with is 3 relationships (3 requests * 1 relationship each), and the absolute maximum is 200 relationships (10 requests * 20 relationships each).

Requests will look much the same, except I am not putting down details/description or a URL, because I'm not letting people submit requests about what ship they "really" want to match on, they are going to be equally matchable to everyone they offered. Some exchanges will let you submit a requests DNW, but honestly that is so much extra work for the mods, I would not recommend it unless you think it's necessary to stop people from dropping their gifts later.

Okay, so now we take a brief digression into a tag set.

THE TAG SET

Okay so basically a tag set is an extra set of sliders that lets you fine-tune your exchange. If you do not use a tag set, when people sign up they will be able to use every canon tag on the archive, and only canon tags. Which is a LOT of tags, but when I ran an exchange without a tag set there were multiple times of hitting non-canon relationships or tags. But it's also a definite extra complication, tag sets are extra fiddly work and they are even less intituive. If you just want to go without a tag set, skip down to the matching segment. If you do want to avoid hitting people signing up with non-canon tags, keep reading.

I'm gonna say right off the bat that tag sets are the single most like "oh I am getting into the GUTS of the machine" part of running Ao3 exchanges, but if you can make them work they can super streamline both the sign-up (for your participants ) and the matching process (for you).

Oh boy, tag sets. Here we start getting into how exchanges start squeezing the interface to make it do what we want it to. I'm using a tag set, so first I clicked on the "tag set" url there and I made my tag set, and then I came back and selected its name from the drop-down menu on the collection. I leave all the tick boxes open, because selecting them will again restrict you to canon tags, and we specifically want to be open to noncanon tags both because of issues like "ijevin & tiny tim" not being a canon tag, and because the way MCYT tags are wrangled and made canon does not work for how the exchange machine reads information. We specifically want a collection of non-canon tags tuned for our needs. More on that later.

So, I started a new tag set, and I'm over there on that screen, looking at it. What does that screen look like?

Okay so, part of the appeal of a tag set is that your participants are able to specify the difference between "Rendog & InTheLittleWood" and "Rendog/InTheLittleWood". You don't have to worry about people getting undesired shipping, because people were specifying if they wanted shipping when they signed up. You can reduce a great deal of people getting matched badly by using relationship matching, because most of the time even if people want a Tommy-centric fic, there's a pretty big difference between people who want "Tommy & Technoblade" and "Tommy & Dream". By specifying who you want the gift to be about, you remove a big hurdle of matching right away. That's why most exchanges run on relationship matching.

However, if there are 37 people on a given server, that's something like 2,600 possible combinations of people if you include both romantic and platonic, and that's before you start getting into trios, and that's just way too many tags for the mods to enter manually. So what you do is run a nomination period, and for a week or two weeks you go to all your participants and you go "do you want to sign up for this exchange? Nominate the tags you want to use now! If it doesn't get nominated, it can't be used!" And then people head to the tag set to nominate.

So, on this page, you want "visible tag list" to be selected, because you want people to see what's already been nominated so they don't duplicate, and you want "currently taking nominations" to be selected because you will be taking those nominations instead of doing them all yourself.

So you have to set up limits on those nominations.

The point of taking nominations is to make matching easier, so people normally use the same fandom and relationship limits as they are going to use on the sign-up, to make sure there aren't dozens of tags in the tag set that nobody's using, just cluttering up the space. It also helps stop the issue where someone sees a tag in the tag set, goes "oh man I love that ship" and signs up, but its an extra tag that no one intended to offer, so they don't match to anyone. That's why sometimes people keep the amount of tags that can be nominated low, I've seen people limit this to 10 tags, or even 7, so that's up to you.

And you save, and now when you link your participants the tag set, they will have a "nominate" button.

They will hurry over to press that button, and then they will see a page that looks like this.

This is a thing where you absolutely want to give your participants detailed instructions, because what Ao3 will try to do is auto-fill people's nominations with canonical tags. WE DO NOT WANT CANONICAL TAGS. CANONICAL TAGS ARE THE ENEMY OF EXCHANGES. CANONICAL TAGS ARE THE ENEMY OF MCYT EXCHANGES IN PARTICULAR.

Remember back when we clicked the button that says tags have to be unique? The canonical tag for Philza & Technoblade doesn't have a server on it, and people might want to be requesting that relationship for SMPEarth, Dream SMP, Origins SMP, or arguably even QSMP. If you only have the canonical tag, people can only request a specific dynamic once, for one server. And that is a problem for every situation where people interacted on multiple servers, and with the network of overlaps that is Empires/SOS/3rd Life/Hermitcraft and DSMP/Origins/SMPEarth/QSMP, that's going to lead to unhappy participants. So you tell people to nominate the ship and also "disambiguate" it, and add the server in parentheses. And then all your participants will hit the button to submit, and you will go into the "review nominations" button, and you will let those tags into the tag set.

Now I just distributed the tag set to a couple friends, so let's look at what this looks like behind the scenes.

Brace yourself, it's gonna be wild, but I believe we can get through it.

Now here is a perfectly standard look at tag set nominations after a few people have gotten into the tag set. This is why they pay tag mods the big bucks.

As you can see, there are a few things to be gathered. The first things is a bunch of people used the canon tags (because that's what Ao3 tries to get them to do), someone else nominated an x-reader ship, we have one tag there twice (spelled differently), and the tags are Piped (they have both the person's tax name and the username). (You can let tags in that are Piped, but I find that it makes the tag set harder to read, and usually exchanges are character-focused unless you're writing video blogging rpf anyways, so I ask people to submit tags unpiped, using usernames.) And for the tags that were nominated in a way that I want (unpiped, and disambiguated so they're unique), Ao3 is trying to get me to use the canon tag. But I don't want the canon tag, I want a unique tag, with the server on it, with no pipes. So.

So were I moderating the tag set, after a few minutes it would look like this.

That's going through and disambiguating the tags (adding the server, which I could tell because of the fandom it was nominated under), removing the piping and using the usernames instead of tax names, and then re-ordering the names so they're alphabetical so people can find them on the list later, rejecting the x-reader tag, rejecting the duplicate and allowing the one that's spelled correctly through. Amazing. I have tags that I want to use (I did some other tags that were ready to go in other fandoms as well). I hit submit. Am I ready to go?

No, because tag sets are the most complicated part of exchanges.

I open up my tag set, and if I scroll down to "Unassociated characters and relationships" there are a bunch of tags that are are lost, Ao3 doesn't know where to put them. This is because we very carefully made unique tags that have not been wrangled anywhere, and Ao3 said "i don't know where these go" and shoved them all together in a garbage bin at the bottom of the page. So we have to manually go in to associate them to the right fandoms.

You hit the Edit button on the tag set, and scroll down to the bottom, to "tag associations", and start selecting where tags go.

Honestly this is a great time to be listening to a stream or a podcast or something, and then you have the tag set open in another tab so you know what all the unassociated tags are, and you just go down the list like a databasing machine. It is not hard, cause you disambiguated each tag with its own server, it's just time consuming. Note. This is why people go in and accept tags regularly during the nomination period, because if you do this all at the end you've got a BIG job ahead of you.

So, you turned on your VOD playlist and you associated all your tags, and all the tags are where they are supposed to go. You have a beautiful tag set.

But wait, you say, looking at this beautiful tag set. Some of those tags look at little different. What is the "Dream smp and only dream smp" that a couple of them have?

Well.

You see.

Ao3 designed tag sets to work a certain way, and nobody uses them that way. It turns out that "Quackity/Wilbur Soot (Dream SMP)" is a wrangled canon tag, and the system goes "ah, I know where this goes, this is a sub-tag of the major tag, and the top-level tag is Video Blogging RPF, so it goes under Video Blogging RPF, as all MCYT tags do. I am very smart. I have stuck this Dream SMP tag under Video Blogging RPF. I am a good machine". And then you go AUUUUUUUUGH, and then you turn up the podcast a little louder, and then you sit down and you delete the old tag and you write out a new tag that the system doesn't know what to do with, and it goes uhhhhhhh and sticks it in "unassociated tags" and then you go in again and you manually associate it into the right server.

It's not hard, it's just time consuming. Shouting at the tag set like STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO as it helpfully tries to stick dsmp tags in SMPearth and you wrestle it out of SMPEarth and into the right fandom bucket.

Deep breath moment. Honestly that's the most fiddly part of a fiddly process, so if you can get through this you're absolutely golden.

Anyways. You got clean disambiguated unique tags, and then you associated them in the right spot, and then you found the ones that got sorted to the wrong spot and you associated them yourself, and now you have a beautiful tag set ready to go. It's a thing of beauty. Shed a tear. Your participants can select from anything in this tag set, and you know they want to use these specific relationships, because they submitted them to you. What next?

THE MATCHING

Okay. You have your tag set set up and it's accepting nominations. Your participants are filling it out right now. You go back to your collection. it's time to tell it how to match.

This is the "minimum number to match" pane, and this is the minimum numbers to make a successful match. You want 1 for Fandom, and 1 for Relationship, and that's it. People will show up to the machine as a viable match as long as they have submitted a fandom and relationship that matches someone else's offered fandom and relationship.

This is a minimum viable exchange. You're ready to go. As soon as your tag set is done (or immediately if you're not using a tag set), you're ready to go back and open your exchange to sign-ups.

Congratulations!

FURTHER TWEAKING

HOWEVER. There is more that you can do. For example, do you want to allow people to request or opt into NSFW? There's an easy way to do that! First thing is you go back to your tag set, and you scroll down to the "ratings" section that you've been ignoring.

You select G and E, and that way, if people are opting into explicit that means they're okay with NSFW, and if they only select G, that means they only want a non-explicit piece.

Then on the collection you switch the requests and offers sections to include a place to specify a rating.

You want them to definitely specify at least one, and if you maximum allowed is 2, people can opt into both and say "i'm good with whatever"!

Then you scroll down to the matching section, and you tweak that to make sure that people will match on Fandom, Relationship, and at least one Rating.

Bingo. You now have a toggle to turn NSFW on and off.

But a lot of people like to match by TYPE of gift too, specifying if they want art or fic or playlist or web weave etc. How do you do that? Ah, at this point you are master of all you survey, and you can make tag sets do absolutely anything you want. You go back to the tag set and you scroll down to "characters".

Now we were matching on relationships, so the character box is unused. And it lets you put in your own tags. So what you do is you start to add in custom tags.

And then you go back to the Collection settings, and on the requests and the offers you go in to the "characters" section and you say "must select at least one, can select up to six".

And then, you guessed it— you go back to "minimum number to match" and you set that "characters" tab to 1 minimum, 6 maximum. Now people who specified that they wanted Art can be matchable to artists who Offered Art. You have unlimited power, the world is at your fingertips.

There's even more customization that you can do, too! There's "additional tags", which is entirely custom tags you add yourself, that can be anything from specifying if people want fluff or horror or hurt/comfort etc— with the recursive exchange we used it to specify the works people were recursing— I'm considering using it for holidays with the holiday exchange. You can let people opt in or out of major archive warnings by selecting "archive warnings" as a thing that's in the tag set and that you're matching for. Once you understand how the underpinnings of how the machine works, you can wrestle it into almost any shape you want.

So. Whew. That's how exchanges work, under the hood. When I say that this is significantly easier than hand matching the holiday exchange, I ask you to picture just how complicated hand matching gets. Go forth! Thrive! Set up exchanges if you want! The world is your oyster!

Feel free to message me if you have further questions.

#mcyt on Ao3 #fandom exchanges #ao3

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probablyasocialecologist · 5 months

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Ex-Meta employee Madelyn Machado recently posted a TikTok video claiming that she was getting paid $190,000 a year to do nothing. Another Meta employee, also on TikTok, posted that “Meta was hiring people so that other companies couldn’t have us, and then they were just kind of like hoarding us like Pokémon cards.” Over at Google, a company known to have pioneered the modern tech workplace, one designer complained of spending 40 percent of their time on “the inefficien[cy] overhead of simply working at Google.” Some report spending all day on tasks as simple as changing the color of a website button. Working the bare minimum while waiting for stock to vest is so common that Googlers call it “resting and vesting.” In an anonymous online poll on how many “focused hours of work” software engineers put in each day, 71 percent of the over four thousand respondents claimed to work six hours a day or less, while 12 percent said they did between one and two hours a day. During the acute phase of the Covid-19 pandemic, it became common for tech workers to capitalize on all this free time by juggling multiple full-time remote jobs. According to the Wall Street Journal, many workers who balance two jobs do not even hit a regular forty-hour workload for both jobs combined. One software engineer reported logging between three and ten hours of actual work per week when working one job, with the rest of his time spent on pointless meetings and pretending to be busy. My own experience supports this trend: toward the end of my five-year tenure as a software engineer for Microsoft, I was working fewer than three hours a day. And of what little code I produced for them, none of it made any real impact on Microsoft’s bottom line—or the world at large. For much of this century, optimism that technology would make the world a better place fueled the perception that Silicon Valley was the moral alternative to an extractive Wall Street—that it was possible to make money, not at the expense of society but in service of it. In other words, many who joined the industry did so precisely because they thought that their work would be useful. Yet what we’re now seeing is a lot of bullshit. If capitalism is supposed to be efficient and, guided by the invisible hand of the market, eliminate inefficiencies, how is it that the tech industry, the purported cradle of innovation, has become a redoubt of waste and unproductivity?

#meta #google #silicon valley #bullshit jobs #Innovation

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wannabanghwang · 4 months

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~Pillowtalk

was fighting demons for 2 months over whether or not to post this cause it’s kinda unfinished

Summary : hyunjin and Felix are models, and when they come over after a shoot a messy, hot threesome ensues followed by a whole bunch of fun sex related pillow talk that I loved writing (self indulgent)

Word count : 4.7k

Warnings : substance use, sex under the influence, unprotected sex, blowjobs, handjobs, all the jobs, bunch of dirty talk, mlm themes yup

Without further a due…

You were already a little drunk when you sent Hyunjin the message, two wine glasses deep as you hit send.

“Do you guys wanna come by my place after your shoot?”

You drag your hand through your long dark hair, letting your head fall back against the couch as the strap of your white silk slip slides down your shoulder. You tilt your head to look out the tall window of your apartment. The final few remnants of sunlight cling to the sky as the night creeps in. The sky is a blueish gray and there’s a slight chill in the air that makes you shiver as your phone dings.

“sure thing. want us to bring a line or two?” The reply reads. You smile slightly as you type.

“Pretty please if you can.”

“got u ;) see u soon lix says hi.” You smile, dropping your phone on the couch next to you. It was far from a habit, the drugs, but those two had a way of loosening you up every so often. They were much more accustomed to it than you, using it as a way to cope with their restrictive diets and packed schedules. When Felix texted you that they were on their way, a familiar nervous excitement filled your body. Them coming over was hardly new, but it never failed to make you jittery in anticipation. A while later you hear Felix’s rhythmic knock on your door. You grin, jumping up off the couch to let them in.

“Hi.” You say coyly as they step inside.

“Hi.” Hyunjin smirks, kissing your cheek as he snakes a hand around your waist.

You giggle, leaning into his touch.

“I hope we didn't keep you waiting too long.” Felix says, sliding his shoes off.

“Of course not.” You reply, using the moment to really take them in. The sharp lines of Hyunjins features and jaw. His long, jet black hair was tied half up, strands falling perfectly to frame his face. He wears a sheer black button up, adorned with lacy roses, complimenting his milky white skin. Felix looked so opposite, everything about him soft and angelic. The dusting of freckles across his pale cheeks, his white blonde hair and big brown eyes. He’s wearing a light green cashmere sweater that makes him look like a fairy. They trail behind you as you walk into the living room, dropping onto the floor next to the glass coffee table. Hyunjin across from you on the couch while Felix moves to sit next to you on the carpet. Hyunjin pulls a little baggie full of white powder from his pocket, shaking the contents around with a grin before tipping them onto the table.

“Hey google, play room on spotify.” Felix half shouts, having been around enough to have his voice connected to your sound system. A slow, sensual song starts to echo from the surrounding speakers.

“Setting the mood huh?” Hyunjin grins, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Felix as he leans over his spread legs, reaching out his hand. Felix wordlessly hands him his black card, which he then uses to cut even lines for each of you. Hyunjin leans forward, dropping to his knees and tugging his hair back as he snorts his line. He grunts, throwing his head back and pinching his nose to prevent it from bleeding.

“Fuck.” He curses, shaking his head before sitting back down on the couch with a lazy grin.

“God, I'll never get tired of watching you do that.” You say, ogling him shamelessly, your jaw wide.

“Makes two of us.” Felix agrees, neither of you taking your eyes off Hyunjin who smiles at the praise, sinking back into the couch as he spreads his legs further.

“You two are so cute.” He coos, his eyes sparkling as they gloss over.

Felix’s hand rubs up and down your back as you take yours, whimpering a little when you finish, harshly wiping your nose.

“Agh.” You shake your head, scrunching your face, far less accustomed to the practice than the men before you. Felix giggles, leaning down in turn to snort his. He wipes his nose, grinning as he looks at you, his gaze flickering shamelessly to your plump pink lips. You grin, knowing exactly what he wants, more than happy to give it to him. Your fingers find his chin, bringing him ever so slightly forward enough for your lips to meet. You part your lips, eagerly letting his tongue explore your mouth. He pulls you forward so you’re on top of him straddling his lap, your knees digging into the soft carpet on either side of his thighs. The warm feeling inside you feels like it’s bubbling as you start subconsciously grinding against the growing tent in his tight pants.

“Okay now.” Hyunjin rolls his eyes, getting up from the couch. “You two done yet or what?” He grins, cocking his head in the direction of your bedroom. You quickly rise from Felix’s lap, hopping onto his back as he stands. He carries you to your room, your legs locked tightly around his waist, one of your hands linked to Hyunjins, who follows closely behind as you giggle. Felix drops you on the bed, rolling on top of you, your laughter echoing in the clouded daze. Hyunjin looms, standing at the edge of the bed, watching you guys with an amused expression. You playfully stick your foot out, pressing it against the semi forming in his pants. He grins down as Felix shuffles to sit on the edge of the bed in front of Hyunjin, eye to eye with the bulge in his pants. You follow suit quickly, sitting behind Felix, wrapping your arm around his waist as you softly slide your fingers underneath his sweater. Felix reaches up to slowly undo Hyunjins belt, letting it hang with a click. Hyunjin finishes the job, sliding it off in one smooth motion, letting it fall to the floor with a clink. Felix starts to unzip his pants before Hyunjins hand finds his head, stopping him.

“Take this off.” He breathes, a cool, sultry air in his tone as he tugs on Felix’s sweater. You help him pull it over his head, letting it fall to the floor, discarded alongside Hyunjins belt. You leave sweet kisses on the warm skin of his back and up his neck as he shivers. When he gets Hyunjins pants undone, he carefully undoes each button of his shirt, the loose, sheer material flowing at his sides. Felix’s hands wander shamelessly over the milky skin of Hyunjins toned, slim abdomen. He licks a stripe below Hyunjins navel with a grin as his fingers slip into his waistband. Hyunjins stomach flexes subconsciously as he grips Felix’s hair with a grunt. Felix tugs his boxers down enough for his cock to spring free, hitting his stomach. Precum beads at the tip, spilling onto his soft skin. Your mouth waters a little at the sight of him. Hyunjins cock is just like him, long, slim and way prettier than it needs to be. Unable to resist, you sit up on your high knees, reaching over Felix’s shoulder to grab hold of his length. His slender eyes stay narrowed as he watches you squeeze him, pumping him up and down slowly as before using your thumb to gather the precum from his tip. His lips part in awe as he watches you suck the sticky substance from your fingers with a smirk, returning to sit behind Felix.

“That was so fucking hot,” he grins, “you gonna do better than that Lix?” He teases, his thumb

tracing the blonde boy’s lips.

“He wishes, he can’t suck dick for shit.” You tease, poking Felix in the side.

“You can’t be talking, you have the worst gag reflex I’ve ever seen!” He retorts, turning his head to face you, laughing.

“It’s not even that bad.” You retort, rolling your eyes. “What do you think? It’s usually your dick anyway.” You say, turning your attention to Hyunjin as you raise your eyebrows suggestively.

“I dunno…maybe I need a memory refresher first…” he smirks teasingly, cupping Felix’s jaw to put himself in his mouth.

He groans, sliding slowly into Felix’s mouth, tangling his fingers in his blonde hair. You take this as a sign to start kissing Felix’s neck, your nails raking up and down his abdomen. You drag open mouthed kisses along his shoulders and back, your hand trailing to find the bulge in his pants.

“Off.” You mumble, tugging on the waistband as you suck in his neck. He pulls his head back briefly, releasing Hyunjin’s cock with a wet pop as it hits his stomach. You help Felix out of his pants and boxers quickly, leaving them to pool around one of his ankles as he sits back down.

“Why am I the naked one right now?” He questions, an innocent smile in his voice.

“We like you like this!” You giggle, pressing a kiss to his pink cheek.

“Yes we do.” Hyunjin smirks, his eyes raking up and down Felix’s body, who blushes further, the tips of his ears turning pink. Felix’s hand finds Hyunjins thigh, kneading the hard muscle as he licks a stripe up Hyunjins length. Meanwhile, you drag your hand down Felix’s abs, grabbing hold of his length. He groans around Hyunjins cock, who in turn mumbles a string of strangled curse words. You start to stroke him slowly, using his precum as lube. The following few minutes are a filthy mess of sounds. A mixture of groans, curse words and wet sounds fill the room, mingling with the slow, sensual music playing in the background. Felix pulls his head back, lulling it against your shoulder. A string of saliva connects his swollen pink lips to the tip of Hyunjins cock.

“Gonna cum, ‘s okay, don’t stop.” He mumbles, his eyes falling closed as he presses his face into your neck.

You keep your strokes steady, squeezing him every so often at the tip. He spreads his legs further, leaning up against you. You and Hyunjin make eye contact, smirking as he whines. You feel him twitch in your hand as a breathy “fuck” leaves his throat. White ropes of cum paint his belly and your hand, all three of your eyes falling to the rapid rise and fall of his stomach. You fall back onto the bed, pulling Felix with you. He’s panting as he sits up onto his elbows, opening his eyes. You stick your finger into a puddle of the cum coating his stomach, swirling it around.

“Ah fuck.” He says, shaking his head with a grin on his face.

“Lix, sit up against the bed frame.” Hyunjin says, gesturing towards it. He obeys shuffling backwards until his back hits the wood, stacking a few pillows behind him for comfort. Hyunjin walks around the side of the bed until he’s standing next to you and Felix before shedding his pants and boxers.

“You have such a cute butt.” You say, grinning as you watch him in the closet mirror behind him.

“I do not have a cute butt!” He says, shuffling to avoid being in the reflection.

“You totally have a cute butt.” You reach out to give it a smack but he catches your wrist in his hand, ruffling your hair.

“Shhh.” He grins, rolling his eyes in reply.

“C'mon take this off.” He says, tugging at the material of your silk slip. You pull it over your head, the chilly air hitting your bare skin. Hyunjin strokes his thumb over your hard nipple, cupping your breasts with his big hands.

“Those too.” He adds, looking at your lacy underwear. Hyunjin climbs over, joining Felix in the middle of the bed. He settles in between his legs on his knees with his back pressed to Felix’s chest.

“Cmere.” He smirks, raising his eyebrows as he taps his inner thigh between his spread legs. The fact that he’s still wearing the sheer, lacy black button up is ridiculously sexy for some reason. One side is hanging off his shoulder, the fabric pooling around his soft pale skin. His cock is flushed and rock hard against his belly, drooling precum onto the skin. You eagerly crawl over, your knees on either side of their thighs, hovering over Hyunjin’s cock. You kiss him first, his mouth opening to welcome your tongue immediately. Kissing Hyunjin is different from kissing Felix. Felix is gentle, it’s sweet and soft. Kissing Hyunjin is dirty, it’s a messy blur of lips and tongue, your salivas mixing as he bites your bottom lip. You grind down against his cock, the pressure feels delicious against your clit. You pull away from the kiss, tilting your head over his shoulder to kiss Felix. Hyunjins lips find your neck as you do this, whispering into your ear.

“Mm good girl, use me,” he purrs, his big hands finding your waist, helping you move against him. You moan into the kiss with Felix, pulling away and letting your head drop against Hyunjins bare shoulder.

“Can you cum like this before you ride me?” He whispers, sin laden in his tone.

You whimper a small “mhm” in response, grinding your hips desperately against his cock.

You wouldn’t normally be able to come like this, at least not this quickly, but something about the drugs in your system intensified every single nerve inside you, making you hornier and more desperate than you would ever be otherwise. He rolls his agile hips against you in time with your own needy thrusts. You feel the familiar heat pooling between your legs as you move against him faster, whining with each thrust.

“Fuck, ‘m cumming,” you whimper in his ear, your mouth wide open in ecstasy, drooling a little onto the warm skin of Hyunjins shoulder.

When your orgasm hits you it hits you hard, you’re panting, mumbling words that vaguely sound like Hyunjins name. He pulls you flush against him while he helps you ride out your high. You collapse against his chest, your sweaty skin sticking together as you try to calm your ragged breathing. You sit back, pressing your hands to his bare chest as you flip your hair back over your head.

“You’re so fucking hot it’s stupid.” You smile breathlessly, gazing in awe at Hyunjin. He smiles, looking down.

One thing you loved about Hyunjin was that he knew how desirable he was, but he didn’t let it get to his head. He carried himself with an air of casual confidence that was just so attractive. He simply owns the sexual power he knows he has. When he wants something, he doesn’t just know how to get it, he knows how to make you want to give it to him. Hyunjin reaches back to caress Felix’s head, who peppers kisses against his neck and jaw in return. You sit up, grabbing hold of his length with one hand, the other on his half clothed shoulder to steady yourself. You align him with your entrance, slowly sinking down onto his cock. He curses followed by a shallow grunt, letting his head fall back against Felix’s shoulder. You start to ride him slowly and shallowly, still trying to get used to his size inside of you. Fucking Hyunjin is also different from fucking Felix. Fucking Felix is usually slow, intimate and careful. Hyunjin on the other hand…

You two have a history. A long one. One full of breakups, arguments, parties, hookups, drugs, drunk texts and a whole lot of sex. You know each other's bodies better than you know your own at this point, your body endlessly receptive to Hyunjins touch. His eyes are glued to the spot where your bodies are joined, watching his length disappear inside of you over and over. His big hand comes to grip your waist tightly, guiding you up and down. The other finds your thigh, stroking it softly in tune with your movements. He rolls his hips expertly, his cock hitting that perfect one spot again and again as you ride him. You’re moaning, tangling your fingers in his hair as you kiss and bite his neck, trying to get as close as humanly possible. It’s dirty, your skin is sticky with cum and sweat, your hair is a mess, there are hands all over your bodies, Hyunjins, yours, Felix’s, grasping at every inch of bare skin. Hyunjin gazes up at you with big, fucked out doe eyes. A smirk finds his lips as he drags his tongue slowly over his teeth. He takes the hand holding your thigh and grabs one of yours off his shoulder, bringing it down to rest on your tummy. He pushes your hand down as he fucks into you, willing himself

deeper.

“Can you feel me here baby? Feel all of me?” He questions teasingly as you gasp, moaning.

“Yes, so,” you breathe, “fucking big.” You whine.

He’s hitting that one spot so deep inside of you it almost hurts, but the ache feels so good.

“I’m gonna cum.” Hyunjin groans breathlessly, letting his head fall back against Felix’s shoulder, who purrs, dragging his fingers up and down the sweaty skin of Hyunjin’s abs.

“You gonna let me cum inside you pretty? Hm?” He says, his eyes meeting yours as he lifts his head slightly.

All you can do is nod and mumble in response, moving against him faster and faster as you chase your high.

“Mmm,” he half chuckles. “That’s my girl.”

“Just like that, just like that, don't stop.” You mumble over and over.

A few more thrusts and Hyunjin is gripping your waist, holding you down as he fucks into you. You can feel the warm spurts of his release inside you as he shudders, cursing and groaning while Felix kisses his neck. You’re all breathing hard as Hyunjin slowly loosens his grip on your waist, the marks from his fingers sure to leave faint bruises. He laughs a breathy laugh as you sit up onto your high knees, sliding off of him as his softening cock lies flush against his belly. You flop down onto the bed, crawling to settle in between them both. For a few moments you all lay panting side by side. The room smells like sex and Hyunjins fingers toy with the stickiness between your legs. You push up onto your elbows, leaning down to either side to softly plant a kiss on either boy's shoulders before lying back down between them.

“I wanna hear some stories.” You say matter of factly, your eyes on the ceiling.

“What kind of stories?” Felix asks.

“Sex stories. Funny ones, hot ones, embarrassing ones…up to you guys.” you reply.

“Hmm.” Felix mumbles, adjusting himself to rest on his hands behind his head.

“I need a prompt first.” Says Hyunjin.

“Okay, the best orgasm you've ever had.” You reply after a brief moment of thought.

“That’s so hard,” Hyunjin says, contemplating. “That one time, after I cut my hair, like the undercut,” he starts. “When I came home and surprised you with it you sucked me off for like an hour and wouldn’t let me cum, but when you finally did I was convinced I actually saw heaven.”

“Oh my god I remember that, that was like, one of the sexiest hairstyles you’ve ever had.” You reply fondly, tucking a long black strand behind his ear. “This ones pretty sexy too, I will say.”

He grins, reaching over you to poke Felix in the side. “What about you Lix?” He questions.

“To be honest I think it was the first time I ever tried coke, after that one half naked shoot with the blue curtain fabric thing.” He chuckles, pointing to Hyunjin who also laughs at the memory.

“We went to this party after a shoot and one of the other models ended up coming back with Hyunjin and I to our room. She cut a few lines and those two did them no problem and then they looked at me kinda like “what are you waiting for” and I had to tell them I’d never tried it. My nose started bleeding and I was so embarrassed, but Hyunjin just wiped it off while she went down on me. I was so disoriented but it felt so good and I came so hard.” Felix blushes, wincing slightly as he smiles.

“We ended up fucking while Lix just kind of sat at the table half watching half knocked out.” Hyunjin giggles, ruffling the blonde boy's hair.

“What about you?” Felix says, turning his attention to you.

“Hmm,” you say, mulling it over in your head. “I went on a trip for two weeks with my girl friends and I didn’t touch myself once the entire time, so when I got back he went down on me for ages, I think I came three times.” You blush, shyly covering your face as Hyunjin laughs.

His fingers paint shapes on your belly with his own cum, collecting it from between your thighs before trailing it up and over your navel.

“How did you two even start the whole threesome thing together?” You question curiously, “I can’t believe I’ve never asked this before.” You add, kind of shocked.

“Welll…” Felix starts, trailing off with a laugh as him and Hyunjin make eye contact.

Hyunjin winces slightly, rubbing his eyes. “It’s kind of a long story.”

“Like a long one.” Felix adds.

“It’s okay, we’ve got time.” You shrug. “Plus, I wanna hear it now.”

“Okay, well in highschool we were pretty close, we danced under the same company for years and we hung out sometimes.” Felix starts. “I kind of had a crush on him cause like…well, look at him.” He adds, grinning as you both turn to look at Hyunjin who smiles as a blush creeps up his cheeks.

“But at that time I wasn’t even entirely sure of my own sexuality, let alone Hyunjins, and every time we talked he’d be on about some girl he was hooking up with or seeing, so I kinda figured there was no chance there.” Felix continues, looking between you both.

“I was kind of a slut in highschool.” Hyunjin deadpans, looking at you before Felix continues.

“But this one night he slept over at my house cause my parents were out of town and we got talking while we smoked a joint. We were sitting on the roof outside of my room and he asked me if I’d ever kissed a guy, I said yes and then asked him if he ever had. He said no, but he would, which kinda took me by surprise. The next time I passed him the joint he blew smoke into my mouth and then kissed me and to this day it was one of the hottest fucking things someone’s ever done to me.” Felix smirks, looking at Hyunjin who chastely kisses his knuckles as he winks.

“That story is both so cute and so sexy. I'm intrigued, do tell me more.” You say, grinning as you cuddle up to Hyunjin, both of your eyes on Felix.

“High School was a little wild, but it was tame compared to Uni.” Hyunjin begins, continuing the story. “I was also kind of a slut in Uni. Especially first year.” He adds, making Felix laugh.

“We kind of just experimented a lot.” Felix adds, shrugging.

“Then in Uni, I had this girl over in my dorm cause I thought Lix wouldn’t be back until later, but he walked in at like 10 pm cause some girl spilled her drink on him and he had to change. It was actually her idea, she asked me if I thought he’d wanna join and I said it had never occurred to me but sure. I called down the hall and was like “Yo come here!” Hyunjin laughs, throwing his head back.

Before he can continue, Felix interjects. “Just to reiterate that is actually what he said.” He says with a wide eyed smile, reaching his hand over at Hyunjin as he speaks.

“That is the least sexy proposition I’ve maybe ever heard?” You say teasingly, laughing alongside them both.

“You and me both.” Felix grins, rolling his eyes as he continues the story. “I went into his room to see what he wanted and this girl was literally on her knees in front of him and he just casually goes “come here” so I was like…okay.” He says, shrugging with a small laugh. “We kissed for a bit and then, well I dunno, I was kinda drunk to be honest but we all fucked around for awhile until she left. Then we kinda just started doing it from time to time, usually after parties until he introduced me to you.” He finishes with a wink and a gentle poke to your side.

“My pretty girl.” Hyunjin grins, planting a kiss on your forehead.

“I have one,” Felix continues, sitting up onto his elbows. “What’s the story of your first time?”

This makes Hyunjin laugh and you cringe at the memory.

“It was so bad.” You whine, dragging your hands over your face. “I was in highschool, I think I was 15 and I lost it to my first real boyfriend. He came over one day while my parents weren’t home and we were messing around and he asked if I wanted to have sex and I was like sure. It hurt like a bitch and he came in like 30 seconds and then asked me if I finished. I didn’t.” You say rolling your eyes and sighing as you flop back down.

Felix laughs. “Having sex in highschool makes you feel so grown up and mature until you get older and realize how bad the sex you were having actually was.”

This makes you and Hyunjin both laugh. “Cheers to that.” He replies, throwing his head back.

“I lost mine to my pre calc tutor when I was in like grade eleven. She was two years older than me and to be honest it was great.” Hyunjin says, grinning as he wiggles his eyebrows. “I was on the verge of failing because I was practicing so much I didn’t have time for most of my schoolwork. I also just hated my pre calc teacher. They got me a tutor from one of the colleges and she was smoking hot. My grades actually did get better after a few sessions but I honestly only remember the one where she asked me if I’d ever gotten head and I said yes and then she asked me if I had ever had sex and I said no. She asked me if I wanted to and being the sixteen year old boy I was, I said yes. It was awesome, no regrets, great first time.”

You laugh and roll your eyes. “I wonder if she thought it was as great as you did.” Which makes Felix chuckle.

“Definitely not.” Hyunjin grins, folding his arms behind his head. “This is fun, give us more.”

“Hm, okay,” you think, “what’s a kink you have or something that turns you on?”

“How much time do you have?” Hyunjin jokes, cocking his eyebrow.

“I like getting my hair pulled.” Felix says, grinning.

“Mmmm.” Hyunjin hums in agreement. “Hurts so good.”

“I think seeing and feeling the bulge when we fuck is the hottest thing in the universe, like it makes me wanna cum on the spot.” You whine, twirling a lock of Hyunjins hair as you look back and forth between them.

“I like that too, sometimes I actually have to try not to cum on the spot.” Hyunjin replies, grinning. “I’m kind of into recording now? I’ve jerked off to the video of you giving me head at least 10 times. It's amazing.” He winks at you. “Guys, let's make a sex tape. Please.” He whines, wiggling his eyebrows at Felix.

“With what?” He raises his eyebrows, amused.

“I have an old camcorder.” Hyunjin grins as Felix rolls his eyes.

“I dunno…sounds pretty adventurous.” He replies teasingly, his eyebrows raised.

“Being in front of a camera is hardly adventurous for either of you.” You snort

“Ok but fucking in front of one is.” Felix retorts, playfully smacking you on the shoulder.

“I’ll bring it next time we come over.” Hyunjin winks, pressing a kiss to your forehead and then to Felix’s shoulder.

#hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin #hyunjin smut #skz smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids hyunjin #skz hwang hyunjin #skz felix #felix smut #lee felix smut #hyunlix #hyunlix smut

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johnslittlespoon · 4 days

Note

thinking unholy thoughts of gale making john come untouched with only his fingers in the biker au… maybe john didn’t even know it was possible so when gale keeps going he gets confused and is like “i’m good im ready” but gale keeps going 😅

au post | ohhh man okay. yeah feeling super extremely sane and normal about this, never been better! thanks! ~2k words of nsfw filth below the cut sighhhh

okay, prefaced with a little more world building in my last post since we're really diving into this au now LOL. ofc things might change when i actually write it, but this is how i'm feeling things will go rn!

re: 'maybe john didn't even know it was possible'– like i said in the drabble before this, he's fooled around a little with curt, but nothing more than getting a bit handsy. he's had a girlfriend for around a year, so they were probably serious enough to get up to things too, but straight sex is very different from gay sex obviously.

the internet exists, and during the time john is pining(thirsting) over gale, he probably does his fair share of googling 'blond man with tattoos fucks brunet man', but really he's kinda intimidated by a lot of stuff, so he doesn't delve too deep into that world. when he and gale start seeing each other and john realizes they're gonna move past making out eventually (because gale is almost such a gentleman sometimes that john wants to bash his head in in his impatience), he probably psychs himself out a bit and gets into his own head and is like fuck.

gale's had years to gain experience and what if he's not good enough or does something stupid or or or, on and on. obviously these worries are completely unfounded because gale adores him and would never pressure him and doesn't expect them to just jump right into things; half of the reason he probably drags things out is because he wants to be absolutely certain things are on john's terms, and that john's not just being horny and impulsive.

john probably ends up trying to do some research so he can yk. pick up some tips, because he's got all the enthusiasm he needs when he thinks about getting to drop to his knees for gale, but he has no idea what he's doing and he doesn't realize everyone learns as they go because he's dumb (/fond) and overthinks everything. (whatever he ends up learning doesn't matter anyway, because all coherent thought leaves his head when they do start doing stuff together and gale is so encouraging and easygoing that he feels ridiculous for ever worrying.)

all that is to say that yeah, he's got like no firsthand experience when it comes to anything past the basics or anything he hasn't been doing by himself. everything is fresh and exciting and as much as he loves just hanging around gale, he's also always needy and horny (gets told he's "insatiable" quite a few times by gale) so they get up to a lot of shit and it's unfair how good gale is in bed and how he knows exactly which buttons to press to get john worked up.

at the time this incident happens, gale's already fingered john a few times, but it's always just as a build up/foreplay, usually followed or joined with gale's other hand or lips around john's cock. they haven't had sex yet, and it feels really nice when gale does this, but john always just kinda sees it as foreplay and it doesn't last for long.

so when gale's got john laid in his bed one sunny afternoon and they're making out and john starts getting whiny and squirmy from the stimulation of his fingers in him, and gale doesn't switch things up like he usually does, john's heart leaps because in his mind, surely gale's getting him ready for something else.

but he's frustrated because it feels like gale's purposefully avoiding hitting right where he needs him to, pants out gale's name against his lips, grasping the back of gale's shirt. starts rocking his hips down against his fingers, seeking it out, and gale rumbles out a "needy thing" before pressing a kiss to his cheek and crawling down the length of his body, settling himself between john's legs.

john props himself up on his elbows to watch, cheeks flushed and eyelids heavy, digging his fingers into the blanket instead. he lets out a little whine at the slow drag of gale's fingers, and that finally makes him cave, crooking his fingers just right, and john's lips part at the way the sudden surge of pleasure zings up his spine.

lets his elbows slide out from underneath himself, dropping back down into the pillow, satisfied he's finally getting what he's been waiting for since gale worked him open ten minutes ago. he waits for stimulation on his cock to join the fingers in him as usual, assuming that's why gale moved to lay there, but gale just keeps up the slow in and out and consistent brushes against his prostate and its embarrassing how much he's leaking all over his own stomach.

but then he has the thought that maybe gale's actually properly prepping him and his cock twitches and his breath catches and he props himself up again to find gale already watching him. he waits expectantly, too shy to ask, and gale doesn't offer him any confirmation, just pressing gentle kisses to his thighs and smiling when john's hips start to roll down against his fingers again.

john thinks that maybe gale's waiting for him to say he's ready, since he does often make him ask for what he wants, so even as his cheeks go hot, he gets out a breathy "gale, i'm– that's good, 'm ready."

but gale only chuckles quietly, nipping at his thigh to feel it twitch away, watching john in a way that makes him feel somehow even more exposed than he already is, and now he's even more confused and he feels like he's melting into the bed and gale's putting a little more pressure into each crook of his fingers and the sounds he's making are so whiny and high pitched that he wants to cover his own ears out of embarrassment.

"does it feel good, doll?" gale purrs, dragging john's eyes back to him, and he nods, twisting his hands in the blankets harder. it does feel good, enough so that heat is pooling in his stomach in a way that's both familiar and foreign, the sensation all different with no friction against his dick.

gale's working his hand a little faster and john's face burns at the realization that he's being finger–fucked like a girl and he drops back into the pillows, arms going too weak to hold himself up. his thighs are starting to tremble and gale murmurs that he's "making such a mess on yourself, baby, look at you" and john immediately reaches down to take his dick in his hand, but gale catches his wrist with his free hand, slowing his movements down, much to john's dismay.

"no hands today, john," he says gently, letting go of his wrist. "i want you to keep them at your side for me, can you do that?"

and john lets out a near hysterical noise but he obliges, grabbing fistfuls of the blanket again, head spinning at being given an instruction, biting down on the inside of his cheek when gale speeds his fingers up again with a "good job, baby."

the heat builds and builds as gale's fingers hit right where they need to each time, and it feels like he's just hanging on the edge of an orgasm for so long, unable to tip over that edge, eyes blurring over from how overwhelming the drawn out sweet–hot pleasure is. he's mindlessly rocking his hips down and panting out little "ah ah ah"s with each thrust of gale's fingers and he's so close to lifting his hand from his side when a sob of frustration slips out.

but gale presses his lips to his thigh again, sucking at the sensitive skin there, pulls back to murmur a stream of "c'mon sweet thing, come on my fingers, show me how good you feel, you can do it" and john chokes out a cry as he clenches around his fingers and comes so hard he nearly blacks out, back arching and hips stuttering up like he can get friction that way.

gale's hand chases his jerking movements, continuing to fuck him on his fingers as john paints his own stomach, cock pulsing, feeling like he's just going to keep coming and coming, mewling desperately and shaking like a leaf and seeing stars behind his closed eyelids.

he closes his thighs against gale's sides when it starts to be too much, hands shaking when reaches down to tiredly push at him, hips stuttering away from the stimulation, hiccupping as he tries to catch his breath. he can feel hot tears soaking into the hair at his temples, lips parted in surprise, shuddering when gale lets his movements slow down until his fingers go still.

john whines when he pulls them out, despite his efforts to squirm away from them moments before, and gale presses a kiss to his hip before he crawls back up his body, cupping john's face with the hand not covered in lube, and john's eyes flutter open, bleary when they focus in on the expression of awe on gale's face.

"fuck, john," gale sounds almost as breathless as him. "you're crying, baby. was that okay?" john nods shakily, tilting his chin up for a kiss, and gale leans down without missing a beat, kissing him so deep it feels like he wants to devour him. mumbles "you have no idea what you do to me" against john's lips, brushing his fingers over the tear streaks on either side of his face, peppering his red cheeks with light kisses before pulling back again.

"felt good?" he murmurs, and john chokes out a laugh at the understatement, draping his wrist over his forehead. "really good," he breathes out, flushing when he opens his mouth again, "didn't know that was, um. a thing." and gale half laughs, half groans at the admission, rolling his hips down, and john sucks in a sharp breath at the drag of his pants, cock twitching even after all that.

gale doesn't mind; he's more than happy to watch his pretty boy fall apart on his fingers, mouth, cock, as many times as john lets him.

#a boioioing sound effect played when i read this ask #i kept going oh my god oh my GOD under my breath #felt like a fly rubbing my hands together maniacally #this is just filth but are we surprised. probably not #NOT PROOFREAD YET ALRIGHT i need a Snack #leaving bikeriders au #johnslittlespoon asks #johnslittlespoon brainrot #johnslittlespoon spicy #buckbucky

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little-emerald-snake · 3 months

Text

Piercings - Sebastian Sallow X F!MC

🔥 NSFW 🔞 MDNI

Well, I meant to post a request today but I came down with a raging case of strep a few days ago and have been in bed trying to keep my fever down. So instead I’m posting this spicy little number I had pre written.

Warnings: modern college au, hookup app, oral m receiving, protected p-in-v, unprotected p-in-v, first time piercing sex, squirting, experienced Sebastian, gentleman Sebastian

3.2k words

She was supposed to be doing homework, sprawled across her bed while laying on her stomach, head propped on her pillow as she swiped through her tinder account.

Weekends had been boring for her since this semester she’d sworn off of parties to focus more on school. That meant when her roommate that she shared the two bedroom apartment with would be out every weekend while she was stuck at home, missing socializing.

Tonight, her roommate was home seeing as it was Wednesday and they both had classes in the morning. Her roommate was holed up in her room cramming in study time to get ahead before the weekend.

She had tried to focus on getting some studying in but her attention span was on anything but her school work. Instead she combed through profiles of boys who went to her school or lived in her small college town.

Most guys she swiped past without a second glance while others she’d dig into their profile or social media before swiping left or right depending on what they were looking for and if they seemed interesting.

Most profiles blended the same as she swiped and chatted with her matches, attempting to get to know them a bit. None had caught her eye like the man on her screen now though.

Sebastian Sallow

21 - M - 5 miles away

Looking for: casual, maybe long term

About me: I read more books then you’d care to hear me talk about. I study literature and history at HU. I’m a twin. I have a reverse PA piercing. No you can’t see a pic. You can see it when we meet in person 😉

Her eyes widened as she scanned the profile. He seemed to give just enough information that it intrigued her and didn’t come off dickish but not enough so that it would keep her guessing.

She chewed the skin of her lip, swiping through his pictures. He was attractive, a bright smile, curly chocolate brown hair and matching chocolate brown eyes that held something deep.

A picture of him and what she assumed was his twin. They looked similar, her looking smaller than him but a vibrant smile and long beautiful chocolate hair tied up neatly while giving the peace sign to the camera.

Aside from having a relatively nice profile she had to say that a few things stood out more than others. One being that he studied at her university, another being him only looking for something casual, like her, and the final, most interesting part. A reverse Prince Albert piercing.

She’d never seen one in person and never been with a man who’d had one. Or any kind of spicy piercing for that matter. She didn’t know what a reverse PA was so she decided to change tabs and make a quick Google search.

Upon seeing that a reverse PA was the best for g spot stimulation she licked across her bottom lip, returning to his profile. After little debate she swiped yes on him, immediately matching. She smiled, opening the messaging feature to send him a message.

She struggled, typing and deleting the message several times, unhappy with her message each time. She was just about to settle with a simple message when his message pinged. “If you’re interested in getting to know me or meeting up you should text me.” Along with his phone number.

She grinned, copying his number and typing up a message for him. “Hey, we matched on tinder. I’d like to chat and get to know you a bit before we meet up but I’m not opposed to meeting if we vibe well.”

She bit her bottom lip, staring at the screen for a minute before sighing, hitting the button to dim her screen and dropping the phone to the side of her notebook.

She tried to focus back on her school work, rubbing her temples in an attempt to focus. She slightly jumped when the FaceTime ring and his unsaved number popped up on her screen.

Her eyes widened and she jumped up to a sitting position, quickly looking at herself on the screen and pulling loose some strands of hair which were thrown up in a messy bun atop her head.

She groaned at her outfit but shrugged, sliding the call to answer. When those mesmerizing chocolate eyes popped up on screen she smiled immediately which caused him to smile in return. “Hey! I almost thought you wouldn’t answer.”

She bit her bottom lip to nervously hide her shy smile. His voice was rich and smooth. He had a bit of a Scottish lilt which gave her a smattering of butterflies. “Hah, I shouldn’t have honestly. I’m dressed like a slob since I’ve just been working on some assignments.”

He smiled, looking her up and down as far as the screen would let him. “Nonsense, you look great. Plus I’d rather you be cozy instead of trying to doll up and impress me. I’m a fan of women in their natural state.”

She practically swooned, sliding a loose piece of hair behind her ear and admiring what she could see of him through the screen. “That’s refreshing to hear. It’s also refreshing to see you look exactly like your pics. And you respond like a human instead of immediately asking when we can meet.”

He chuckled, looking off somewhere behind his phone for a moment. “I mean I’d love to meet up with you but I’m with you on this one. I’d like to see if we mesh well first. So, you study at HU as well?”

She nodded, lifting her notebook to show him her work. “Yes I sure do. I see that you study literature and history. Is that anything to do with your interest in reading?”

He nodded, pulling up a thick tome that looked nothing like the romance novels or fanfictions she usually read in her spare time. “Yes, you’d be correct. I really enjoy taking in knowledge via reading. There’s so much to learn from different texts. I could go on forever but I refuse to bore you to death before I get a chance to see that pretty face in person.”

She giggled at that, adjusting her phone angle a bit for better lighting. “I appreciate it! I still have way to much to do in life to die now. Especially boredom being the cause. I’m experiencing enough of that as is.”

He tilted his head in curiosity. “Oh? Don’t do much outside of class or something else?”

She pouted. “Exactly that. I took this semester off of going to parties so I’d have more time for studying and to try and cut back on drinking. I think it’s a healthy choice and so far it feels pretty good. How about you? Do you party much?”

He shook his head, looking genuinely interested in her explanation. “Not really. I’m not the biggest socializer but I do have a small group of friends I like to hang out with here and there. But no big parties or anything like that. I think taking time to focus on your studies is an incredibly important choice. As well as not drinking for your health. It’s admirable.”

She smiled, glad he didn’t think she was lame and that he was already being so supportive of her. They ended up chatting back and forth for a while longer before he said he’d have to go but he was really interested in talking more.

She’d quickly promised to text him and keep in touch before they said goodbye and hung up. When he winked at her through the camera before hanging up she had a mad swarm of butterflies in her stomach.

Her phone pinged with a message and she laughed after reading it. “Don’t think about me too long or you won’t get any studying done tonight, Darling.”

She silenced her phone and made a better attempt at studying the rest of the night. A couple hours later she finally was satisfied with what she’d gotten done, setting aside her work and picking up her phone again. “I still thought about you, but I managed to get a good chunk of my work done, thankfully.”

She smiled when his response was immediate. “Is that so? What exactly about me was occupying that pretty head?”

Heat rose in her stomach as she bit her lip. Was he being flirty or something more. She decided to take a small risk. “Do you really want to know or should I make something up?”

Again, the response was immediate which had her heart beating faster in her chest. “Tell me the truth. I can take it.”

She bit harder into her lip, typing the message as fast as her fingers would move over the letters. “I was thinking about your piercing. Just about why you may have it. Is it for aesthetics or something else?”

This time the response wasn’t as quick and she spent the time waiting for the bubble that he was typing to pop up biting at her nail. “Well I got it because I wanted it. But this specific one is meant for pleasure for a companion of the female anatomy. So both technically. I read about how it could enhance pleasure and figured ‘who wouldn't want that?’ So I got it done.”

She grinned, typing out a response. “And? What do the yelp reviews say?”

He responded quicker than any she’s seen tonight. “I’ve had 0 complaints. But maybe you’d like to give a well thought out review?”

She practically melted against her bed. Imaging the positioning of where that piercing would be was driving her crazy. “I mean if you’re down. I have the apartment to myself this Saturday if you’d want to come hang out? I know it’s a little soon but, for the sake of the review.”

He responded immediately again which had her heart racing. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Although I’d like to meet up in public first. Maybe at the coffee shop on campus tomorrow morning?”

They’d arranged to meet after her first class and before her second one, agreeing to work out details and talk some more then.

Meeting him was great. He was smart and charming in person. A total heartthrob with those chocolate puppy dog eyes.

Now it was the weekend and after texting about anything from spicy teasing to a casual conversation, she was more than ready for him to come over.

She’d let her roommate know she planned to have company for the evening and after getting the all clear that she was gone she sent the text, inviting him over.

When he’d arrived she gave him a small tour, offering him a soda before they moved to her room. The conversation flowed nicely. Better than she could have imagined. They soon got onto the topic of his piercing and although she’d tried not to be eager she definitely had decided that if he was down she wanted to feel what that piercing would be like.

Her chance came when she mentioned it again offhandedly and he’d moved forward, placing a hand on the back of her neck, moving in like he was going to kiss her. Instead he leaned in, lips brushing the shell of her ear. “You really want to feel it, don’t you? I feel like secretly it’s all you can think about.”

She couldn’t hide it. She really did want to, so she nodded. It was silly but having talked with him over the few days had really helped her focus as well as given her a libido she hadn’t felt in ages.

He reached down, working the button of her pants open while gently nipping and kissing at her neck. Nothing intense enough to leave a mark, just enough to get her going.

Not that she needed it. She’d been wet since she first saw him at her door, dressed all in black with a small bouquet of colorful flowers in hand.

He slid his hand into her pants, rubbing against her panties with maddening accuracy. The man really knew what he was doing which excited her.

Soon they’d finally moved along, her eyes watching with intensity as he slid his boxers down, letting his erection spring free. The silver jewelry glinted from the head of his thickness.

She licked her lips looking up at him. He nodded his approval, with a half smile. “I’m clean, in all meanings of the word if you’re thinking of doing what I think you are. Just be careful with the jewelry on your teeth. I don’t want you chipping a tooth.”

She nodded, sprawling between his legs and taking his girth in her hand. She gripped his base firmly, sliding the head past her lips, careful of the metal bar near her teeth.

She explored it with her tongue, getting accustomed to the feel of the metal in her mouth as well as laving her tongue over his head generously. He responded in kind, groaning from farther up the bed where his head rested on her pillows.

She bobbed her head, finding a solid rhythm in sucking him. He groaned and panted from above her, hands fisting her blanket as he watched her with a lustful expression.

After letting her get the hang of it for a while he nudged her, urging her off. She was momentarily worried till he asked her to lie down and he moved between her legs, ready to return the favor. “I-I don’t really want head. I-I’m wet enough honestly if you just want to get to it.”

His eyes widened but he nodded, reaching for his black jeans to pull a condom from his wallet. She watched eagerly as he rolled it on swiftly and moved over her. She spread her legs for him and he groaned, lining up with her soaking entrance. “Fuck. You’re so fucking soaked from sucking my cock. That’s the hottest non verbal compliment I’ve ever received.”

She went red, biting into her lip as he slid in with hardly any resistance. He started slow, letting her get used to the feeling. She could already feel the barbell creating a lovely pressure inside her against the top wall of her. It wasn’t as intense as she’d hoped for but she imagined that was from the condom.

His face was locked on hers, searching for any sign of pleasure or discomfort. She met his look with a smile, pulling him in closer and letting a soft moan free when he slid in deeper in response.

The ball of the piercing brushed right against the wall of her g spot, eliciting a gasp from her. Sebastian groaned, picking up his pace and caging in her head with his arms as he worked himself in and out of her smoothly. “You feel incredible.”

She gave a breathy laugh followed by a soft moan. “So do you, t-the piercing really does…mm…feel nice. I-it’s not as intense as I thought but still very nice.”

His eyes met hers and he slowed his hips. “It’s not that good for you is it? Do you want to stop or…”

She shook her head, feeling guilty for not being as responsive as he would have liked. Her hands wrapped around his biceps. “N-no! It’s fine really. I’m just not used to condoms is all. It’s still good I promise. Sorry.”

He bit the skin of his lip, looking down between them in contemplation. “Are you…on the pill? If you are and if you swear you’re clean than I’ll fuck you raw…”

Her eyes widened and she nodded, face reddening at how eager she was to feel him bare. “I promise we’re good. I-I’m sorry I’m so eager…I’m just excited. I-I want to be able to give you an honest review.”

He chuckled, sliding out and pulling the condom off and tossing it into her trash can. “No it’s okay. I get it. I only use them if it hasn’t been discussed previously and as a courtesy.”

He lined up again, this time sliding in and her body lurched upward against him. Her heels wrapped around the back of his knees as the ball of his piercing rubbed torturously against her g spot. Intensity having been ramped up to a 10. A whine of satisfaction left her throat and he groaned into her neck. “God, you feel so fucking good. I’ve never felt someone so wet for me like this.”

He thrust into her, both of them tangled up in each other, sounds of pleasure ringing out in her small room. With every brush of his piercing against that sweet spot her moans were pitching higher.

He fisted the sheets below her, grunting in her ear as his hips snapped against hers urgently. “C-can I try something with you? I promise it’ll feel good.”

She nodded, whimpering as his hips stilled and he pulled himself from her soaking depths. He lifted her hips, sliding a folded pillow beneath them before sinking back into her.

This time the pressure against her g spot was so intense her moans crescendoed. His hips resumed their pace, and her legs wrapped around him again, pulling him impossibly closer. “Oh fuck! That’s so intense! I-fuck. Sebastian! I-I think I’m gonna cum!”

He grinned, groaning as he moved one hand to gently press his palm against her lower abdomen. She cried out much louder now, causing Sebastian to wince at her neighbors expense. One of her hands digging into his bicep and the other covering her mouth.

A gush of wetness between her legs had him grinning from ear to ear. She gasped, moaned and shook below him as her orgasm rocked through her.

Sebastian fucked her through it, whispering praises of how good she felt cumming on his cock and how fucking hot it was that he’d made her squirt. That finally brought her back.

She lifted her head, looking between them and sure enough she’d made an absolute mess of them both. She began to sit up with an expression of worry but he shook his head and began rocking his hips again. “It’s fine for now. I promise. I’ll help you clean up after.”

She swallowed hard and nodded as he pulled the pillow out from under her and began to thrust into her again. She rode the wave of pleasure while he brought himself to his edge. He was nearly panting as she watched sweat roll down his forehead. “Where do you want m-me to cum?”

She whimpered, pulling him close, raking her nails down his back. “J-just cum inside me. I-I’m on the pill and…I like how it feels.”

He groaned, rutting into her greedily at her dirty admission. She moaned as his hips stilled and he grunted, filling her with his seed. “F-fuck. You feel so good. Gods, that was incredible.”

She smiled, holding him close while they caught their breath. His chocolate eyes met hers as she brought her fingers to slide through his sweaty hair. “I’ve never squirted before. That was next level sex.”

He chuckled, rolling off of her and helping her up off the soaked sheets. She reached for the sheets and he stopped her, grabbing his boxers off the floor. “Come show me where your washer is and then go get in the shower. I’ll get your stuff in the wash and then I’ll come clean up with you.”

Her heart kicked to life in her chest and she smiled, admiring his puppy dog look that he gave her before nodding and leading him down to hall.

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy smut #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow smut #modern au #little emerald snake

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