#goodbye c1

[te-pu-si-ti]

January Cast Change

Things I will remember about the leavers

Luke's Neoptolemus breakdown in the Klub, utterly devastating every time

Fionn blowing me away with his Oracle, a character who I thought I'd gotten bored with, that he made completely fresh to me

Tim bestowing upon me the greatest honour, the Keeper of the Paper, on his wonderfully weird Laocoon loop. I've been interacted with in all sorts of ways but this was the most engaged I've felt for the entirety of a loop, being his special little guy

Fred's Kampe, right after I'd fallen in love with Fania's Kampe, being shocked at the same character being played in two totally different and equally fabulous ways, opening a whole new way for me to experience the show

Chihiro's dear sweet Eurydice and strong defiant Polyxena. And looking at Hades like he was an absolute crazy person (he was) when he walked in and stammered "th, there's... a crack..." and held his hands out for whisky

Nathan giving me my first ever mask-off 1:1 as Oracle, me feeling kind of cheeky because I wasn't even following him, but sticking to him like glue for the rest of the show after that

Dafni's gorgeous and sultry Iphigenia-turned-Hecate

Emily T was only in two shows that I ever attended, but I caught her Askalaphos filled with the MOST ennui, so sad, so tired

Harry as a gentle Laocoon and a strong but not too terrifying Kronos, the first one I had the courage to follow (alone for the first half of the loop, no less)

Cameron as my first Polymestor, I had no idea what was going on but I loved his charisma and I still do

Mallory's Persephone stealing a seat next to me and a friend in Peep, looking fascinated and aghast at Kampe with us

Following Jude on his 2nd or 3rd night as Polymestor and being so impressed at how he hit the ground running. It only developed more from there. He had big shoes to fill when Adam Burton left, and he was more than up to the task

Vini, the Agamemnon who put his hand on my shoulder during the finale and somehow made me feel like he was proud of me

Paul's crazy, crazy Luba with the very intense greenhouse scene

#the burnt city #punchdrunk #😭😭😭 #if i've missed someone let me know #writeup #goodbye c1

[kaeyachi]

i

i just wanted a chongyun or kirara

i got miko in 1 10 pull...

#goodbye c1 alhaitham #i told myself “just 1!” #that just 1 gave me mommy but mommy was not who i was aiming for #kaeyachi randoms

[qingxin-dream]

whew, kazuha really humbled my ass.

i had 39k primos, lost 50/50 to my first qiqi at 79 pity, and finally got him at 77 pity.😫 i’m so upset to have lost 50/50 twice now trying to pull for kazuha. he hates me.

#[divine gaze].✿ #goodbye tighnari primos i gotta save for c1 scara #i’m happy to have pulled c6 thoma and c2 heizou at least! #very mentally drained anyway so ig i’m going to bed :/

[ariadne-mouse]

Just finished episode 58 of C1 and my god Gilmore is such a fucking smooth operator

[Vax is walking around naked except for his boots due to plot reasons]

Gilmore: "I'm always happy to see you but I didn't realize it was my birthday as well."

[They're saying goodbye, Vax having recently discovered his vestige's very cool and dramatic flight abilities with Gilmore's help]

Gilmore, with a hug and a kiss on the cheek: "Fly high, my bird."

and underneath the jocular flirting there is so much tenderness, and also melancholy, this all being after Vax's "I'm in love with someone else" talk. The way Gilmore springs into action when Keyleth tells him about the rakshasa attack on Vax, teleporting immediately to go help. His relief when he is safe. The careful, slightly painful reconfiguring of boundaries, knowing how things stand between them now. There is so much love in this man. Whoops I got emotional on my joke post about Gilmore's suave quips, but that's Critical Role for you.

Anyway Gilmore is such a fun character, and his connection to Vax and that bittersweet 'almost/could have been' is a fine narrative wine. (Also very pleased we learn in ExU that he's found himself a husband, he deserves someone madly in love with him.)

#ariadne watches c1 #gilmore #c1 #critical role #vaxmore #op

[pocketgalaxies]

what did you mean about laudna and ashton driving you nuts?

mmmmm. dangerous territory! for me, i mean. to indulge the side of me that don't give a fu about–

it's pretty interesting how this ep turned out to be a direct comparison between laudna and ashton and how they discover and come to terms with the idea that there is an option for them to ostensibly destroy themselves in the name of protecting/helping/saving the rest of the party

a few ppl have already discussed this with far more thought and nuance than i'm willing to put into words right now but something something both of them taking this as an opportunity to Be Useful and Contribute to the cause, blind or perhaps willingly ignorant to the fact that these people love them for who they are and that they don't need to Do Something in order to be loved - in fact, losing them is actually a far less acceptable outcome to the party than whatever reward they perceive to be gained from their self-sacrifice. which is all very sad and tragic and juicy and pulls at the heartstrings which i always love. but this is kind of where the similarities end?

laudna follows this with a conversation in which she tells imogen what she would want to happen in rather explicit terms. and when imogen responds by saying she'll do everything in her power to stop it from getting to that point, laudna says "i can accept that." the next morning, they tell the whole group what happened. on the other hand, ashton pulls fearne aside and has their own grave conversation but in more vague terms, at least in the sense that i don't think fearne picked up what they were putting down or at the very least wasn't given the opportunity to really process and respond to what was asked. and then ashton isolated the two of them from the rest of the group to undergo this transformation without their knowledge. all of which drives me nuts! to see the direct comparison in which one is so much more communicative than the other

and i don't think it's fair to say that this is a consequence of the party being poor communicators overall. it's somewhat reminiscent of vax's initial response to scanlan leaving in c1 - we don't know your mother's name because you never talked about it. aka there's a difference between ashton bringing up this desire or plan to hold both shards and everyone brushing it off/not sufficiently exploring it vs. ashton choosing not to ask for their opinions, ideas, or feelings about it because he thinks they won't let him do it. he unilaterally made the decision for everyone, which is the most frustrating part for me. they presume to know what is best for everyone, and they presume to know that this is the only option, despite being surrounded by not only some of the most powerful people on the planet but also the people who care for them the most. which he said himself: nobody will miss me when i die, given that we all die - implicitly saying that if i am the only one who dies, i know you all will miss me. so to me it feels disrespectful to them, because even having acknowledged that they care, he doesn't trust that they might have ideas for a better solution or that they might recognize what this means to him and try to help him survive it. or that they might not want to be "saved" if it means losing him. or that they might like to say goodbye.

i know many people are saying that this is in line for ashton's character, frustrating or not, which i think is true. but it feels stagnant to me. ashton has come a long way in terms of learning to care for these people but they have learned little about being cared for. and while laudna is trying to believe what others say to her (that they love her, that she's important, that she deserves life) with varying degrees of success, to me ashton feels like they have made minimal progress and/or aren't trying to make progress. they refuse to see bells hells for what they so loudly and clearly are - people who love and care for each other, ashton included. and unfortunately, 77 episodes in and coming up on a vastly important mission (the first in a while), this brand of hypocrisy (taliesin's words not mine!) and lack of awareness for the group's feelings in the name of High Risk High Reward is something i have a rather low tolerance for ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

and for the record i've been thinking about this a loooot because i know most of it is colored by my general apathy toward this character. and i understand that a lot of people who love this character are so so fascinated by and invested in what happened. but my apathy toward ashton is something that i've tried to circumvent or logic my way out of a LOT in the past few years and at this point it's kind of an immovable object. and doing mental gymnastics to try and enjoy someone that i simply don't makes everything so much worse! so i don't mean to rain on anyone's parade but these are my thoughts whether i like it or not

tl;dr the end of this ep didn't make me excited, it just kinda made me feel annoyed and crazy. sorry

#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. things feel very very complicated still. in my brain. all jumbled #but the main takeaway is that i didn't like it. dkfjskdjfksdjf #anonymous #ask #answered #critical role #cr3 #cr spoilers #cr meta #nova shh #cr negativity

[greetingfromthedead]

Tempest Wind Masterlist

Through a destined meeting, Vash found you, a lost soul much like himself, under the weirdest of circumstances, and he made a promise to follow you across any desert. That turns out to lead both of you down a path of self-discovery, love, and hurt. Vash's unlucky shadow drives the two of you from one crisis to the next, but there's nothing you can't overcome together.

Tempest Wind is a 18+ Vash x F!Reader fic with some spice, some gore, a bit of action and a lot of fluff, for added flavor there's angst too ofc.

The rating of 18+ comes mainly from the occasional dark themes and not so much of the smuttiness (as those parts are labeled and can be skipped without it really affecting the story).

NB: The content is mostly Trimax canon-typical violence/gore/themes, but I give warnings and summaries for the heavier chapters and smut so you can skip them if you want!

Tags/CW below the cut!

Tags/CW: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Action, Adventure, Slow Burn, Hurt, Emotional Baggage, Reader-Insert, badass female character, Eventual Smut, Healing, Immortality, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Implied/Referenced suicide, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, powers, Mentions of impregnation, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Experimentation, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Canon-Typical Violence, Gun Violence, Blood and Violence, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Established Relationship, Pre-Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Tragedy, Protectiveness, Pre-Canon, Canon Universe, Injury, Not Beta Read, POV Alternating, Tenderness, Illnesses, Scars, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Caretaking, During Canon, Creature Vash, Angel Vash, Body Horror, Body Worship, i'm shit at tagging, idk what im doing

COMPLTETED: 84 Chapters / 165k words

C1: In Death

C2: Tracking Through the Desert

C3: Acts of Kindness

C4: Night Watch

C5: Birdbrain

C6: A Heavy Heart

C7: Midnight Run

C8: Odd Job

C9: A Wild Beast

C10: Wounds

C11: Laundry Day

C12: Language of Flowers

C13: Unlocked Horrors

C14: Sweet as Sugar

C15: Resemblance of Normality

C16: Taking Out the Trash

C17: Unfamiliar Experiences

C18: Moving On

C19: A Gut Feeling

C20: Gods and Angels

C21: Perfect Morning

C22: Renewed Conviction

C23: Dusty Memory

C24: Unexpected Visitors

C25: Guardian Angel

C26: Calamity J

C27: Playing Doctor

C28: Otherworldly Lullaby

C29: Patchwork

C30: Burn

C31: Towards New Horizons

C32: Stormy Emotions

C33: Tempest

C34: Desert Night

C35: Mayfly of Love

C36: Sign of Appreciation

C37: Plotting

C38: Execution

C39: Hands

C40: Storm Clouds

C41: Truth Unfurled

C42: Ray of Hope

C43: Lucky

C44: Sandstorm

C45: Back in a Lab

C46: Signals

C47: Glimpse of the Past

C48: Nature of Your Being

C49: Irises

C50: Frozen Dream

C51: Spring

C52: Worship

C53: Breakfast

C54: Experimented

C55: United Again

C56: Rest of Eternity

C57: Subject 0325

C58: Project HUMAN

C59: Comfort in Knowledge

C60: First Day of the Future

C61: Puzzle Pieces

C62: Day and Night

C63: Daylight Robbery

C64: Journey to December

C65: Snatchers

C66: Last Calm Breaths

C67: Dark Underworld

C68: Rescue Mission

C69: A Bloody Demon

C70: Time Catches Up

C71: Blame

C72: On to the Next Crisis

C73: Last Night

C74: Goodbye

C75: Fragments

C76: Talk of Love and Peace

C77: Uncanny Valley

C78: Lover's Face

C79: Ghost of You

C80: Happy Birthday

C81: A Paradise for You and Me

C82: Breaking of a Will

C83: Life and Death

C84: Epilogue

Demo Chapters modified into oneshots:

Womanizer - confined spaces affects Vash in a strange way and he has turned on his charm to try and seduce you.

Perfect Morning - domestic fluff, intimacy, mild smuttiness, shy Vash

Festivities - delusional bliss on an unfamiliar planet with weird traditions, ice skating and sweet Vash

Burn - basically smuttiness with little actual plot

Desire - no plot, just porn. Often the quiet and shy ones surprise you...

Happy Birthday - You find yourself on a furry side quest and it turns into a very special birthday celebration that Vash puts on for you.

You can also read it on other platforms: AO3! Wattpad! Quotev!

Check out my other stuff: MASTERLIST.

#Tempest Wind #Trigun

[naddpod-encounter-tourney]

Reborn:

Truly what can one say about Reborn?

It begins, beautifully, with Hardwon getting a real chance to meet Lydia and explain to her what she means to him as a person, even without her direct influence on his life.

We then get the reincarnation. Almost rolling a gnome. Seeing melora again, getting tattooed. "I've been a half elf ever since I met you." The hammer taking hardwon back. The wrestling match. The fact that the audio was nearly lost to the ages, but Emily was able to recover it with a years-old forum post.

Entering Hill Home. Bev stopping to buy a comic about a cleric (Emily's cleric) to give to Erlin. Finding out that Erllin and Egwene have been off on their own adventures with Red and Gunther.

Bev’s devastating truth. Erlin’s natural, yet painful, reaction. Egwene reassuring Bev. Balnor’s reaction, making sure Bev knew this happens to people, and that things can still work out.

Moonshine meeting Lucanus. “Hey mom and dad!” Hardwon tackling Denny. Denny getting polymorphed into a boot because he’s just that weak. The conversation with Meemaw. The actual introduction to Lucanus. “A man who never thought he’d have a child, holding his child.”

Talking to Martha Toegold. The fact that she knows already what happened to Bev IV. Telling Bev about the tree in the back. “A Bestiary of Devils and Archdevils by the paladin Beverly Toegold I”. “Your father has given you an instruction manual on how to beat him”.

Every single goddamn thing in between. Goddamn.

Heart of the World:

The Boobs take the Stormborn to the Court of Gods. They write letters to their loved ones and put them in the contingency cubby.

After a bit of a difficult trek, they happen upon a wall where they can hear the wishes and prayers of the citizens of Bahumia. They offer a “We are here for you” in return, and are rejuvenated by the reaction to their presence.

Once they get close, they call their berserkers. Moonshine turns them into elephants, then summons pixies to make the elephants fly. The Titans of Bahumia fly into battle Thiala on elephants. (Murph is given the chance to leave Emily over any of that bullshit if he so pleases).

The battle with Thiala begins. She brings back Galad. Hardwon does 297 freaking damage in the first turn. 1,082 total by the end of the fight. Moonshine uses cantrips where they count. Bev takes on his own fungal form, and eventually casts a bonus action revivify on Hardwon. Balnor dukes it out with some angels.

They see what the mind of Thiala wants them to experience. I cannot do the flashbacks as much justice as @misslevel , so here are those comments on them from a previous round.

Thiala takes a second form. Uses Alanis and Ulfgar to harness their energy and make things worse. Tries to actually destroy Melora’s heart, holding the world together. Moonshine uses Handy Andy to steal Erlin, he’s freed from the gem, and able to help heal everyone. Bev, Balnor, and Hardwon keep swinging.

Nearing the end and fearing things will get so much worse (Balnor and Hardwon keep going down), Moonshine casts Shapechange and turns into a Gold Dragon. She eats Thiala.

The Titans of Bahumia return their divine heart fragments to Melora, as they were just borrowing it. They give Pelor his heart back, resurrecting him. They save the last one for the Dusk Mother, and give her rule over the one hells, renaming it The Ruby Dawn.

Old Alanis, the traveler, returns, and asks Balnor if he’s ready. He says tearful goodbyes and returns to his timeline, ready to destroy the hounds and save his village. “It’s okay, Balnor. I knew like all the most powerful things in this world, I was only borrowing you.”

We move forward in time. They start finishing off Akarot. Set up the ritual to destroy the Hellfire Crown. Hardwon visits his father in Kord’s Great Hall. Bev and Erlin get to be kids.

A year later, they return to Moonstone for the Jamboreen.

Moonshine reacquaints herself with the dragon she hatched and invites him to live with her at the Crick. Hardwon asks for the same offer, and it is given quickly. They read Balnor’s letter by the fire. Our story then ends where it began, in The Hungry Trout Tavern.

#naddpod episode tournament #naddpod #not another dnd podcast #bahumia

[lyss-sketchbox]

Man took me 220 wishes plus some for C1 Wrio, Mona, and Elegy GOODBYE FURINA FUNDS BUT ATLEAST HES HOME

if this bow was a person id throw it off a cliff

#IM BOTH UPSET AND HAPPY #YEY WRIO BUT I WANTED EXTRA FOR FURINA IDK SOBS #sigh time to farm 120 wishes somehow for his orb #im too far gone #wriothesley

[misshallery]

a list of literary references in aitsf: nirvana initiative chapter titles

tidied up this ol' twitter thread. basically: every single chapter title in aini is a reference to a work of literature, i figured out most of them. here's an explanation of where they came from and what they mean. let us begin.

edit: some gaps filled in by the discord user aaabatteries! thank you!

"a strange tale"/"dispossessed"/"alone" (chapter 0) reference 'the turn of the screw' by henry james.

the framing device of this novella is a group of friends reading a manuscript written by someone else. ryuki being interrogated by mizuki is something of a framing device for what we perceive as his 'side' of the story, six years ago. this is also a quintessential piece of gothic fiction, which is famously concerned with the subconscious and repression- two themes aitsf is very interested in!

"anyone imagines"/"ought to know" (ryuki chapter 1) reference the bible verse corinthians 8:2

"If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know"

naix is an ideology that has the power of religion over its believers. this quotation reflects that people who don't believe in the ideology who think they understand the nature of the world (and believe it's real) are ignorant to the fact it's a simulation.

"nothing to be done"/"go" (ryuki chapter 2) reference 'waiting for godot' by samuel beckett

"nothing to be done" is something of a reoccurring joke in the play. much time is spent watching characters act aimlessly, accomplish little, and lack purpose. these chapters in the game have a lot to do with ryuki feeling frustrated by tokiko's indecipherable philosophical ramblings.

"farewell"/"joy for anguish"/"smile for tears" (ryuki chapter 3) reference 'farewell' by anne bronte.

"And who can tell but Heaven, at last, May answer all my thousand prayers, And bid the future pay the past With joy for anguish, smiles for tears?"

this poem is about the pain of saying goodbye to a loved one. of course, "saying goodbye" is a classic euphemism for death. these titles likely reference shoma reckoning with komeji's death. the joy/anguish duo are strange parallel chapters where komeji lives or dies.

"well known"/"mind of god" (ryuki c4 r1) reference 'a brief history of time' by stephen hawking

"If we do discover a theory of everything…it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason—for then we would truly know the mind of God."

these chapters introduce us to tearer as a character, who is, of course, closely linked to naix and their ideology. naix believe they understood the nature of human existence, and accomplished the goal of knowing 'the mind of god'.

"i found me"/"past its ken" (ryuki c4 r2) reference "the masked face" by thomas hardy

"I found me in a great surging space, I" At either end a door" ... "There once complained a goosequill pen To the scribe of the Infinite Of the words it had to write Because they were past its ken."

this poem is about people with a negative outlook who struggle to comprehend that there is more to the world than they know. shoma only believed in shallow simulation theory to justify his depression. "past its ken" means beyond one's established knowledge.

"not all a dream"/"she was the universe" (ryuki chapter 5 r1) reference "darkness" by lord byron

"I had a dream, which was not all a dream. The bright sun was extinguish'd" ... "Darkness had no need Of aid from them—She was the Universe."

this poem describes an apocalypse that resembles a natural disaster. fitting that this route leads to the explosion ending, involving the collapse of the underground cave. darkness becomes "the universe"- ryuki is traumatised.

"pass mildly away"/"end where i begun" (mizuki c1) reference "a valediction: forbidding mourning" by john donne

"As virtuous men pass mildly away, And whisper to their souls to go" … "Thy firmness makes my circle just, And makes me end where I begun."

this poem is about two lovers parting, but i think the game uses it to reflect platonic relationships. kizuna has lost bibi. bibi lost mizuki. mizuki lost date. family members who love each other deeply have been apart for a long time.

"the expense of spirit"/"hell" (mizuki chapter 3) reference sonnet 129 by william shakespeare.

"The expense of spirit in a waste of shame Is lust in action..."

this poem theorises that after people satisfy their lust (their desires), they're left with shame. this could be a metaphor for chikara's experiments, but he doesn't seem to feel shame. i think it's about mizuki wanting answers about the institute until she gets them and they're painful.

"all living things"/"of arms and of man" (mizuki chapter 4 m2) references virgil's "the aenid".

"I sing of arms and of the man, fated to be an exile, who long since left the land of Troy and came to Italy to the shores of Lavinium"

i think a parallel is drawn between lien and the protag of the aenid, aeneas. he flees the fall of troy and travels to rome, becoming the original descendant of the ancient romans. lien escapes the 'tragedy' of his life of crime and becomes something of a hero to kizuna.

"who's there"/"bid the soldiers shoot" (mizuki chapter 4 m2/m3) reference the first and final lines of william shakespeare's "hamlet".

the first line is spoken by a guard who hears the ghost of hamlet sr. in this route, jin's corpse is found in the freezer... not quite a ghost. the final line is spoken by fortinbras, an invading prince, upon storming the palace and finding the corpses of the whole cast. he commands the shots to commemorate the deaths of the royalty. lien and kizuna escape among the gunfire of chieda's armed goons... some commemoration.

"all that we are" (mizuki c5 m2) is a buddha quote.

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts and made up of our thoughts. If a man speak or act with an evil thought, suffering follows him as the wheel follows the hoof of the beast that draws the wagon…. If a man speak or act with a good thought, happiness follows him like a shadow that never leaves him.”

this chapter precedes gen and amame's end. gen highlights that he considers amame to be a naturally kind and loving person in a way that others haven't been towards him. this quotation implies that good things follow kind people, which doesn't follow considering the tragic end amame gets here.

"sweet silent thought" (mizuki chapter 5 m3) references shakespeare's sonnet 30

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought I summon up remembrance of things past, I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought, And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste

this poem is about regrets. when you think "sweet silent thoughts" (contemplate your life), you feel unhappy and consumed by what-ifs. interesting that this chapter is the direct opposite of the poem- lien and kizuna take their chance and run away together. no regrets!

"births"/"the end of craving" (mizuki c5 m1) is a buddha quote once more.

simply put, to reach the end of craving is to achieve the titular nirvana and a higher state of being.

"braver than all flowers" (epilogue) references "proof of immortality "by william carlos williams

"for there is one thing braver than all flowers; richer than clear gems; wider than the sky"

this is a sort of humorous poem about how the one thing that humans throughout history have in common is ignorance. maybe it's a ref to how the mizukis used their wit and investigation skills to overcome that ignorance and win the day?

"all this happened, more or less" (ryuki diverge) references the opening line of slaughterhouse-five by kurt vonnegut.

this is regarded as a crazy opening line for a crazy novel. it's the literary equivalent of "well, that happened" for better or worse, much like this ending.

the only currently missing reference is 'traveler'/'left behind'.

#aitsf #aini #ai the somnium files #aini spoilers #aitsf nirvana initiative #there are so many tags for this game man #literature #misspost

[virigaymez]

i was taking so much psychic damage from being near the end of naddpod c1 and thinking about having to say goodbye to the characters and now i find out hardwon and moonshine at least are in c3? first off. how. second, i'm now taking psychic damage in a different way i will truly never be free they have such a hold on me i'm going to throw up

#naddpod #this is so embarrassing but i truly had to look up if they end up together in any way bc i'm losing my mind and spiraling and #had to emotionally prepare myself for the ending either way #only to find out they're still doing their crazy dynamic to this day #hello????/ #hello?????? #how am i supposed to live #i haven't felt this level of brainrot in a LONG time it's bad folks #hardshine save me #hardshine #save me hardshine #genuinely shrimp emotions that make me think fictional entertainment media was a mistake and i should be outside touching grass asap

[serenailith]

i’m lying just to keep you here

for @dreamlingbingo​

Square: c1, loud sex Rating: e Word Count: 6108 Ship(s): dream of the endless/hob gadling Warnings: none Additional Tags: alternate universe - human, alternate universe - university, friends to lovers, though they take the long way ‘round because they’re kinda idiots, heartbreak, anal sex, squint-and-you-miss-it semi-public sex, blowjobs, not actually unrequited love, requited unrequited love, fake/pretend relationship Summary:

It is less Hob convincing Morpheus that this was a good idea and more Morpheus's inability to say 'no' to Hob. Of course, life has a way of making sure that bites Morpheus in the arse.

Link: on ao3 masterlist

“Please pretend to be my boyfriend.”

Morpheus blinks stupidly for a moment then cocks his head. Hob stands before him with a pleading look on his face. Morpheus opens his mouth to respond, closes it, then tries again.

“Why would you need me to pretend to be your boyfriend?”

“My parents are coming to visit this weekend. I lied to them, saying I had a boyfriend just so they’d stop pestering me about dating someone. And Valentine’s Day is in a few weeks, so I know they’ll be worse if they knew the truth.”

“Your entire family knows we’re only friends.”

“Ah, but the best relationships begin with friendships.”

“Hob…”

“Please, Morpheus. I promise it’ll be the only time I ask this of you.” Hob clasps his hands in front of his chest beseechingly. “Please.”

Morpheus sighs and avoids Hob’s gaze. They’re friends—best friends, and have been since they were twelve—but this is a lot to ask of him. Hob can’t know how monumental this request is. But… Hob has always been there for Morpheus. There’s never been a time that he’s turned Morpheus away. The least Morpheus can do is help him this once.

“No cute nicknames for each other,” he warns. “They are nauseating.”

Hob chuckles and sticks out a hand. “Okay, deal. But, er, what about honey-butt?”

Morpheus snorts then dissolves into laughter. “Call me that,” he says once he’s calmed, “and your parents finding out we are not actually dating will be the least of your worries.”

“I’ll find something,” Hob promises with an appraising look.

Morpheus has no doubts about that. Hob is nothing if not imaginative, hopeful, and stubborn. Hob squeezes Morpheus’s hand before turning, calling out a goodbye as he sprints away. Morpheus watches him go then closes his door.

Maybe this won’t be so bad, a voice in the back of his mind says, and he scoffs. It’s going to be just as bad as he fears. There’s no way around that fact. He’ll end up looking foolish. But just think, you can pretend it’s real.

And that’s what will hurt the most.

True to Hob’s word, he arrives outside Morpheus’s room bright and early Saturday morning, parents in tow. Robert Sr. claps a hand to Morpheus’s shoulder, despite knowing full well that Morpheus doesn’t like being touched, while Elizabeth beams brightly and passes over a small box. Inside, Morpheus knows, are baked goods he will eat a quarter of before Hob takes the rest. He sets the box on his desk then turns back to his best friend’s parents.

Elizabeth tuts quietly and brushes a piece of lint from her son’s shoulder. Her hazel eyes pin Morpheus in place when she looks at him once more. “Morpheus, dear, tell us the truth. Are you really dating Robbie?”

Hob rolls his eyes before shooting Morpheus a Look. One that says Please for the love of all that’s holy, go along with this, or I might just lose my mind. Morpheus bites back a smile and nods.

“I am.”

“When did this happen?” she asks, frowning—Morpheus can see the disappointment in her eye. He only hopes she approves of the ‘relationship’. It would make life difficult if Elizabeth Gadling supported the friendship but not Hob and Morpheus dating.

Why is he even entertaining these thoughts? They aren’t dating. Morpheus knows this. He needs to remember it, or things are going to get uncomfortable.

“It wasn’t too long ago, Mum,” says Hob with a grimace. “It just… happened. Now can we go get breakfast?”

Morpheus takes pity on his friend, crossing his arms over his chest. Hunching in on himself, he weaves a tale of how he and Hob had been studying one night when Hob had looked at Morpheus and asked if he’d want to go out to dinner. Of course Morpheus had hesitated: What if it ruined the friendship? But Hob had been so adamant about nothing changing, not really: “All that will be different,” Morpheus claims he said, “is I get to kiss you whenever I want.”

“How sweet,” Elizabeth gushes before she allows her son to usher the group from Morpheus’s room.

Breakfast is a boisterous affair. Hob chats with his parents about his schooling, about how things are at home. Elizabeth carefully avoids asking Morpheus about his family, everyone but his older sister. Thana is never a sore subject, and he will talk about her as often as anyone will allow.

Morpheus barely manages to not jolt in surprise when a warm hand wraps around his; he glances at Hob from the corner of his eye, but Hob doesn’t look back. Instead, he continues eating with one hand and chatting as if there is nothing unusual about holding his best friend’s hand in front of his parents.

Thankfully, none of the Gadlings expect Morpheus to stay with them all day. He makes an excuse to leave, apologising for the mountain of schoolwork he has yet to do. He’s just turned to walk away when Hob pulls him back; Morpheus stares blankly when lips brush against his. Hob grins and releases him.

“I’ll come by when it’s dinner.”

“O—okay.”

Morpheus walks away awkwardly. His mouth burns with the gentle pressure of Hob’s kiss, and his skin prickles with the ghost of Hob’s touch. I am in trouble. He waits until he gets back to his room before closing the door, leaning against the wood, and letting out a heavy sigh. He truly is in trouble. So much trouble.

This was such an awful idea. He should never have gone along with Hob’s half-baked plan.

Morpheus can admit, only in the deepest stretch of night, that he has been in love with Hob since they were fourteen and he was clambering through Hob’s window after yet another disastrous dinner at home. Hob had always vowed to pull Morpheus away from the home life he was subjected to. Morpheus had always wanted Hob to do exactly that.

It was a dream never to come to fruition. Hob would never rescue Morpheus, but uni would. Morpheus struck out on his own—or, rather, not on his own but with Hob. They had no classes together, and they didn’t share a room. But they always made time for a weekly lunch, and more often than not, Hob could be found sat at the desk, head pillowed on his arms as he slept off hours of studying.

It was no wonder, really, that Morpheus would develop feelings for Hob. He had been a constant in Morpheus’s life for too long. Morpheus will never act on them, not honestly. This facade is as close as he will ever get to knowing Hob’s affection.

Hob’s parents leave shortly before sundown, and Hob slumps as soon as their car is out of sight.

“You’ve no idea how you’ve saved me, mate.”

Morpheus shrugs, tucking his hands into his pockets. “You have done enough for me over the years.”

“Film marathon?”

Morpheus only nods. His skin already prickles with the imagined heat of Hob’s body so near as they sit on the bed, side-by-side with their arms pressed together, as Morpheus’s laptop plays whatever film Hob has chosen.

He never lets Morpheus choose, not since he put on a documentary about galaxies. Hob had fallen asleep with his head on Morpheus’s shoulder and his hand on Morpheus’s thigh. Morpheus, for his part, had stayed as still as possible for as long as possible if only to enjoy what would never truly be his.

Lucienne stares at Morpheus the next morning over the table in the dining hall. “You’re bothered by something.”

“I am fine,” he protests.

He doesn’t know why he’s lying to her. She is as close to him as Hob is. In different ways, of course. Lucienne knows of his love for Hob, the dreams he has of one day Hob knowing and loving him back. She knows things that Morpheus could never tell Hob if he doesn’t want to ruin their friendship.

“It has to do with Hob, doesn’t it?”

“Luce—”

“Morpheus… What did you do this time?”

Morpheus opens his mouth to argue, but there’s no point. So he admits to the scheme and how it’s already hurting to pretend something he’s wanted for so long. Lucienne sets her spoon down and reaches across the table to hold his hand.

“You are one of my dearest friends, you know this, right?” At his nod, she squeezes his hand and frowns. “I say this with love: This is perhaps the stupidest thing you have ever done.”

“I don’t think—”

“I do. I absolutely do believe you are an utter fool for going along with this. It is breaking your heart, despite your saying otherwise.”

“Hob would never hurt me.”

“Hob doesn’t know he’s doing it, does he? He thinks this is a way of placating his family, but he doesn’t know you wish it was real. But he is absolutely hurting you.” She sighs and pushes her glasses up her nose. “I think you should put an end to this before you get hurt beyond repair.”

“I will follow through on my promise,” he all but growls as he yanks his hand away.

“I’m sorry, Morpheus, but… I can’t watch you destroy yourself just to make him happy. When will you ever put yourself first?”

She rises to her feet and strides away without waiting for an answer. Morpheus lays his spoon flat on the table, burying his face in his hands, and draws in a shaky breath. Lucienne has never walked away from him. Not like this. Not with such disappointment and disapproval in her eyes. She has always understood, even when she scolded him for being a pushover when it came to Hob.

Thankfully, Hob has decided that their charade should continue on campus though his family is nowhere near. “Easier to stay in character whenever they come around,” he says as he hefts his bag further onto his shoulder, “if we’re never really out.”

In character. Right. Morpheus wishes he could stop forgetting it’s just a game of make-believe.

So Morpheus does his damnedest to not preen whenever Hob holds his hand or presses a warm kiss to his cheek or pulls him in for an embrace that lasts a beat too long to be platonic. There is no stopping the skip of his heart and the fire in his blood with each touch, and he can’t control his dreams of which Hob has taken control. What were once idle musings, innocent ‘what ifs’, have now become things of want. Morpheus always wakes himself, but just once, he aches to allow himself to dream of what being with Hob might feel like.

“So where’s Lucienne been?” Hob asks as he drives them back to the house he rents with three classmates.

“We are… at odds with one another,” Morpheus admits, his heart sinking in his chest at the reminder.

It’s been nearly a week since she walked away from Morpheus that morning, and there’s been no contact since. She doesn’t even look in his direction anymore.

“Thought you two were close?”

“The same could be said about us.”

Hob huffs out a laugh and glances at Morpheus. “Trying to say you and I could be on the outs just as easily?”

No, never. I love you too much. “I have my doubts.”

Every light in the house is on by the time Hob parks, and people spill out through the front door, milling around in the freezing late-January air. Hob shakes his head with a snort of amusement, then he and Morpheus exit the car. They shove their way through the partygoers until they’re in the warmth of inside. Hob gestures toward the kitchen, disappearing when Morpheus nods an acknowledgement. He weaves around clusters of fellow students dancing, gyrating and bouncing on the balls of their feet; liquid sloshes from cups held in aloft, and Morpheus doesn’t manage to dodge a splash in time. The whisky drips down his right arm, and the young woman squeaks out an apology.

He ignores her and finds a place off to the side to stand. Hob will find him in this crowd. Hob always does.

“I just… I don’t get it,” Marcus slurs almost two hours later, waving his cup of beer around. “Hobsie has never dated anyone since unie started, and now he’s dating you?”

John snorts and nods vigorously. “Yeah. What makes you so special?”

“Just because you’re his friend,” Marcus adds, and if Morpheus didn’t know better, he’d say Marcus is pouting. That Marcus is jealous.

Morpheus swallows thickly, acid rising his blood. His cheeks burn, and he blinks rapidly. It would do no good for them to realise how they have affected him so. They need not know they’ve voiced doubts that should not exist. If Hob’s friends doubt the validity of the relationship, it’s only a matter of time before others do, too.

He shoves himself between John and Lyle, storms across the room.

Hob’s eyes widen when Morpheus cups his cheeks and tugs him in for a hard kiss. The first kiss Morpheus has ever initiated, and it’s out of spite. Hob exhales sharply, whisky-stained breath ghosting across Morpheus’ heated cheeks, as Morpheus drags his tongue along the seam of his lips. Are you sure? is spoken in the hesitation.

I am certain, Morpheus replies just as silently in the way he tilts his head.

Someone cheers while another whistles, the shrill sound cutting through the music. Hob wraps an arm around Morpheus’s shoulders and somehow deepens the kiss further. Morpheus’s stomach clenches. His knees could give out at any minute. He never would have imagined Hob as such a skilled kisser; certainly none of the chaste kisses prior to now indicated as much.

“C’mon,” Hob murmurs in Morpheus’s ear, “let’s get away from the audience.”

Morpheus lets Hob link their fingers together, lets him steer them toward the stairs amid catcalls and more whistles. People clap hands to shoulders and give winks and bright smiles as the couple passes.

None of them know how fake this is.

How Morpheus doesn’t want it to be fake anymore.

As soon as his bedroom door is shut and locked behind them, Hob seems to lose all confidence. He scratches at his brow then tugs at his left earlobe. Morpheus bites back a smile and passes him to sit on the bed. Hob hesitates, stands completely still, then moves toward Morpheus.

“Might as well make it seem more real, right?” he whispers before his lips crash to Morpheus’s again.

Morpheus closes his eyes as another crack runs through his heart. He keeps forgetting this is an act. That Hob doesn’t truly care for him like that. It’s only a beneficial agreement to get Hob’s family to back off. Morpheus pulls back, forcing a smile.

“If we want to make it seem real,” he whispers, lips brushing Hob’s, “we might as well give them something to gossip about.”

Hob’s brows furrow, mouth opening, but Morpheus moans aloud. Hob rears back, watches as Morpheus whines his name, as he crawls across the bed to smack at the wall. Intelligent young man he is, Hob catches on quickly and joins Morpheus at the head of the mattress. Morpheus wants it to be real, hearing Hob groaning like this, and he lets out a rumbled moan that echoes in the sudden quiet.

Music no longer filters through the floor, the door. They are listening, Morpheus thinks even as he opens his mouth. Out spills a litany of pleas; desire and want make themselves known in each word. Hob smacks the wall with his fist as he moans out a ‘You feel amazing’.

Morpheus’s entire world narrows to this—the tightening in his gut as his gaze runs along Hob’s body, the tenting of Hob’s joggers, the lust in Hob’s eyes most likely mirroring his own. It may be fake, this agreement, but Morpheus’s lust is overwhelmingly real. He reaches for Hob, hand clutching at his T-shirt, and yanks his best friend toward him.

Music blares from the speakers once more, drowning out the low groan that escape Hob’s lips.

Morpheus doesn’t know who leans in first, but it feels like no time has passed before Hob is sprawled, naked and straining beneath him. Morpheus’s hands make quick work of shucking his own shirt, his trousers, his boxer-briefs until he can straddle Hob’s hips with nothing between them. The heated point of contact spurs on the fire in his blood.

Morpheus knew of Hob’s thighs, his belly slightly soft but still so muscular, and the soft curls covering his chest. He knew of that—too many years in each other’s lives—but it’s nothing compared to what his clothes have kept hidden. He leans down to kiss Hob, gasping at the pressure against his cock, then slides along his best friend’s body until his mouth hovers over Hob’s dick.

“Do you want this?” he murmurs as he presses his forehead to Hob’s hip. “Hob… Tell me to stop.”

Hob reaches with one shaking hand to card his fingers through Morpheus’s hair. “Don’t. Please, don’t stop.”

Morpheus carefully takes Hob into his mouth, slowly draws him in further, until his nose brushes the thatch of hair at the base. Hob’s hips jerk, but he stills as Morpheus adjusts to the weight on his tongue. The strain of his jaw. The taste of skin and precum and everything Hob. He pulls back until just the tip rests between his lips, and he looks up at Hob through his lashes.

His friend’s head is dropped back against the pillows, hands spread to his sides and clutching at the bedsheets, and sweat glistens already on his bare skin. Morpheus hums in approval before swallowing Hob down once more.

One of Hob’s hands finds a home in Morpheus’s hair moments later. Morpheus lets him tug and push, guide him in a rhythm that pleases Hob. Saliva drips from the corners of his lips as Hob fucks into his mouth with such gentleness that Morpheus could cry. Somehow, Hob knows just how deep he can go without choking Morpheus, and isn’t that enough to spark a goddamn inferno in Morpheus’s chest?

“L—love, stop.”

Morpheus immediately does as asked, massaging at his jaw as he meets Hob’s eye. Hob reaches for him, and Morpheus goes willingly. Straddles Hob’s hips once more. Hob mumbles out an apology, an excuse of being too close already. Without speaking, Morpheus leans to the side and opens the drawer to the nightstand, pulls out the bottle of lube he knows is there. Once it’s in hand, he presses it to Hob’s chest and swallows harshly.

“Fuck me.”

The words are crass, inelegant, and they draw a groan from deep in Hob’s throat. “Oh, this must be a dream,” he says even as he fumbles for the lube. “This is a dream, isn’t it?”

You dream of this? The question doesn’t fall from Morpheus’s lips. Instead, he ducks his head to kiss Hob and allows the other man to pull him closer. Morpheus plants one hand against the wall, the other on Hob’s chest, as Hob slides a finger between his arsecheeks. A gasp stutters free when Hob’s fingertip catches on his hole; Hob smiles up at him, an interesting little curve of his lips and softened eyes full of something too close to wonder and love, and presses inward.

Morpheus doesn’t do this often. He hasn’t done this in over a year, and even then, it wasn’t like this. It was never right with Cori. There was just enough care that Morpheus wouldn’t be injured while Cori fucked him with fervour, but it didn’t feel as natural as it does now. Morpheus knows it isn’t real, it never will be.

At least he’ll have this memory when it ends. He isn’t sure if that makes it better or worse.

By the time he sinks onto Hob’s cock, inching himself slowly down until he’s fuller than he has ever been, Morpheus is nearly sobbing with want. He rolls his hips and digs his fingernails into the expanse of Hob’s chest as he loses track of everything but this.

He has never allowed himself to imagine what Hob looks like completely nude, but he gets to see it now. He gets to feel every inch of his best friend and the trembling between his thighs. He learns what Hob’s kisses taste like and what he sounds like with that first glide of their bodies.

The noiess Hob makes are more beautiful now. His moans and gasps are because of Morpheus, for Morpheus. Morpheus rolls his hips again, stealing the moan that splits the air between them, and does it again. Hot hands grip his waist, and Morpheus follows where Hob leads, rises and falls with his touch.

He has wanted this for so long. His eyes burn, tears building but not falling.

“Oh, God,” Hob moans as Morpheus moves more quickly, more insistently. “Fuck, this is—You are better than any dream, love.”

Morpheus would be his dream if Hob let him be.

“So are you,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss Hob again. His head spins with each thrust, each stroke of their tongues, each breath lingering between them. “Don’t stop. Please, I beg of you.”

“Never, my dream, never.”

The tear slips free before Morpheus can stop it. He sits upright as Hob’s hips snap up, as he buries himself even deeper. Pressing his palms to Hob’s shoulders, Morpheus rises until just the tip remains inside of him, stares down at Hob for a second. Dark brown eyes meet his, and brows furrow in concern—Morpheus will always be able to read those expressions so clearly. Before Hob can say anything and ruin the illusion, Morpheus lowers himself swiftly and forces away any words Hob might have had.

Hob pushes up onto one elbow, an arm wrapping around Morpheus’s shoulders, and plants his feet against the mattress. Morpheus keens with the change in angle, the forceful thrusts as Hob’s cock slides across his prostate. His nails dig into Hob’s skin as he lets himself be fucked until all he can think of is Hob, Hob, Hob.

Hob’s name is the sweetest thing on his lips when he comes.

As he stares down at Hob, body rocking as his best friend chases his own release, Morpheus’s only regret is that he can never make the look in Hob’s eyes last forever.

Morpheus leaves Hob’s room the next morning with a breaking heart and knowledge he can never come back from.

Though the act is meant to be of the two of them as a couple for Valentine’s Day two days after the party, Morpheus expects nothing for the day in question. What he gets, however, is a bouquet of cloth flowers, a box of chocolates, and an invitation for their first date. Hob sits far too close as his fingers lace with Morpheus’s; if anyone doubts the relationship now, no one speaks of it. Morpheus accepts the invitation as eagerly as possible, though he seeks out Lucienne as soon as Hob has disappeared off to class.

“You were right,” he says once he finds her in the library.

“Oh?”

“I should have listened to you. It was… It is such a foolish idea that I could do this for Hob without being hurt in the process.”

She finally looks away from her book, and whatever she sees on his face has her full attention. She pushes aside her notepad and pen, clasping her hands together before her. “Oh, Morpheus. What happened?”

“I made a grievous mistake,” he manages to utter. “I thought I would be fine.”

“But you aren’t.”

He squeezes his eyes closed against the burning, but the tears slip free. “I am not.”

“End this, Morpheus. Tell Hob you can no longer do as he wants.”

“I cannot break a promise. I never have before.”

“Morpheus…”

“You said you cannot watch me destroy myself. Please do not make me go through this alone.”

“How much longer?” she asks after a long moment, and Morpheus lets out a trembling breath. “When will this farce end?”

“We agreed it would happen sometime after today.”

“One week, Morpheus. For your sake, do not let it drag on longer.”

Morpheus readily agrees. Lucienne has always been pragmatic and so human. So knowledgeable. She’s right.

He doesn’t tell her about the date Hob has planned.

The date goes better than Morpheus expected. They go to dinner at a rather upscale restaurant; Morpheus pointedly doesn’t ask how Hob earned enough money to pay for such extravagance—or why he’s gone for something so… much. After, they go for a stroll through the city park, bundled up tightly in their coats and leaning into each other’s warmth.

Hob is the consummate gentleman the entire time, even walks Morpheus to his door at the end of the night. Morpheus shifts awkwardly as they stand in the corridor before Hob takes all chances from him: He leans forward and kisses Morpheus softly, tentatively, as if seeking permission. Morpheus gives it willingly, far more eagerly than he had accepted the date. His hand fumbles for the doorknob, but it finally twists beneath his palm, and they stumble over the threshold.

Hob manages to close the door behind him, apologising into the kiss when it slams into its frame. Morpheus doesn’t give a damn. He only nips at Hob’s lower lip and lets his hands roam. Thankfully, they both know the layout of the room, have had it memorised since Morpheus moved in, so it’s no hardship to find his bed without looking.

There are no tears this time, though there is a sharper, more violent kind of pain that curls deep in Morpheus’s chest. It digs its claws in more securely, scratching idly as his cum stripes across Hob’s belly. You’re beautiful. The beast snarls and sinks its teeth into his soul. Be mine. There is no dislodging the creature that eats through the cracks in his heart.

Hob comes with a bitten off “Fuck, Dream of mine,” and Morpheus feels the last of himself being devoured.

Unfortunately, ‘breaking up’ with Hob turns out to be impossible. The first time he tries at the end of the week, he ends up bare-arsed leaning over a desk as Hob fucks him quick and dirty. The second time, another week has passed, and he has Hob on his knees and is fucking into his best friend’s mouth almost viciously.

The third time… The third time damn near kills him, and it isn’t even him who does it.

“We should end this,” Hob says suddenly, as if they aren’t holding hands while having a pleasant stroll across campus to enjoy the rare warmth. “I mean… Valentine’s Day is over, right?”

“R—right.”

Hob shrugs and stares at the bare branches of the trees lining the paths. He doesn’t speak for a long minute. Even if he had, Morpheus would never have heard him. Not for the thundering in his ears and the beast screaming in his chest. Hob sighs and nudges Morpheus with his shoulder.

“No point in continuing the charade. So now we can go back to how things used to be.”

“What will you tell your family?” Morpheus chokes out; he’s oddly proud of how steady his voice remains.

“I’ll figure something out, I always do.” After a short pause, Hob speaks again, voice lower, “Thank you. For, er, going along with it.”

Morpheus carefully disentangles his fingers from Hob’s and steps away. Both come to a stop in the middle of the pavement, Hob with furrowed brow and Morpheus with shattering heart. Forcing a smile, Morpheus does the only thing he can: He turns and walks away.

Hob doesn’t call after him.

The ‘relationship’ is over. The friendship is over, and it’s all because he couldnt’ say no to Hob. If he had, if he’d just told Hob to find someone—anyone—else, Morpheus wouldn’t be losing the best friend he’s ever had. He wouldn’t know what it’s like to fall asleep beside Hob or to have Hob so damn deep inside of him, he can almost drink the love that doesn’t exist. He would be clueless as to what Hob’s release tastes like and what it feels like to open up for wandering, persistent fingers and a dick that fits so well.

To Morpheus’s surprise, Hob doesn’t try to find him over the next week. Then again, it isn’t as if Morpheus is off searching for Hob, though. He spends the hours between classes in the library with Lucienne or locked in his room. It’s easier this way. At least if he’s alone, he can’t be reminded of Hob or the incredibly poorly-conceived farce to convince the Gadlings that Hob needed no help in finding a partner. Morpheus doesn’t have to see Hob’s friends, he doesn’t risk running into his former best friend at all.

Former. How devastatingly lonesome a word can be. Morpheus thought that if he and Hob were to ever end their friendship, it would be over a mistake that Morpheus made. That Morpheus would be the one to walk away. That’s exactly what happened.

It isn’t satisfying to be right.

The friendship is truly over, Morpheus thinks, when it’s been over a month and there has been no sign of Hob, no word from him. They know each other’s schedules, the routines, so Morpheus is well aware of the fact that Hob is going out of his way to avoid Morpheus. The only reason he would do that is if Hob wanted nothing more to do with Morpheus.

The beast has grown larger, more violent, especially in the night. Though he’s washed his bedsheets dozens of times, he can almost smell Hob in the threads. The ghost of a memory brings with it the sounds Hob made that night, every time they touched and came together and found pieces of themselves mixed in the other. The creature has devoured Morpheus’s heart. Now it feeds off his soul, the love he yearns to share with Hob but never can.

Matthew, an audacious and quite persistent American student, somehow convinces Lucienne and Morpheus to come with him to dinner to “celebrate the end of exams”. Rather, he convinces Lucienne who convinces Morpheus. After the support she’s given him since the debacle with Hob, the least Morpheus can do is go along with her plans.

She admits, as she walks with Morpheus to Matthew’s room, that the American has grown on her.

“He’s… brash and crass, sometimes, but he could be worse.”

“Do you have feelings for him?” Morpheus asks, frowning when her peal of laughter rings out.

“Of course not. I don’t dislike him, but there is nothing there. Worry not, Morpheus, you would be the first to know if I harboured any feelings toward someone.”

For as bold as Matthew is, his driving is the complete opposite. He drives carefully, as if Morpheus and Lucienne are precious cargo, and Morpheus relaxes further into his seat the longer they go without an accident.

The diner is nearly empty when they walk in. Morpheus looks around—ignores Professor Dee sat at the counter with a cup of coffee—only to freeze when his gaze lands on the back corner. Matthew’s large hand shoves at his shoulder until he stumbles forward a step.

“Good luck,” Lucienne whispers as she and Matthew move to a booth off to the side.

‘Good luck’?

No.

But it’s too late. Hob has seen him. Morpheus can’t walk away now; it would look too much like running. So he straightens his spine and weaves his way around the tables until he reaches the booth in which Hob sits.

“Hello, Hob.”

“We need to talk.”

Morpheus glances over his shoulder. Lucienne watches closely. Matthew gives him a thumbs-up and a bright, encouraging smile. It hardly does the trick, but Morpheus appreciates the gesture. He sits across from Hob.

“I fucked things up, didn’t I.”

It isn’t a question, but Morpheus answers anyway: “No.”

“Don’t lie to me, Morpheus.” Hob shakes his head and stares at the tabletop. “I should never have asked you to pretend to be my boyfriend. I should have known it would only ruin our friendship.”

“It wasn’t—it wasn’t that.”

Hob’s gaze leaps to Morpheus’s face. Heat lives in the brown, and his lips are pressed into a tight line. “Then what was it? Because from where I’m sat—”

“We slept together.” Hob falls silent, and Morpheus swallows against the lump in his throat. The tears in his eyes. “We slept together, which was not what I planned.”

“You wanted it, too.”

“Hob. I am not accusing you of taking advantage of me.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying it became too real for me,” Morpheus admits in a rush.

The words tumble between them. Hob sighs and picks at the corner of his napkin. Morpheus sits awkwardly, waiting for some sort of response. Eventually, Hob blows out a breath.

“It was real to me, too.”

“Then why did you—?”

“Because I knew you were trying to end it,” Hob snaps, and Morpheus rears back. This is a side to his best friend he’s rarely seen before, and never aimed at him. “Shit, sorry. Not… I just—I wanted nothing more than to make it real, to not have it be pretend anymore, but I knew you were trying to find the right time to give me the boot.”

“I thought it was nothing to you. That I was only hurting myself for your happiness.”

“Oh, love.”

Hob reaches across the table with one hand, and Morpheus hesitates. Can this actually be real? Or is this a dream he’s meant to wake from, to suffer through only to find himself alone in bed with only the monster in his chest for company?

But no, Hob is smiling something tender, hopeful, and Morpheus‘s heart jolts beneath his ribs. He knows that smile, though it’s never quite been aimed at him like this. Not so soft.

He takes Hob’s hand, face heating at the loud “Fuck yes!” that comes from behind him. He can hear Lucienne hissing something—most likely an admonishment—but Hob’s laughter distracts him. Hob clears his throat as all amusement fades.

“I… I guess I should have talked to you instead of making assumptions.”

“I could have done the same,” Morpheus counters.

“So now that’s out of the way, should we invite Lucienne and her friend over?”

“Why would we do that?”

“Because they brought you to me.”

Hob gestures before Morpheus can respond. This was all orchestrated by Hob? It makes a certain amount of sense. It would have been too much of an unbelievable coincidence for Hob to just be in the same place that Matthew and Lucienne would bring Morpheus. But why?

If Hob is telling the truth—if it was as real to him as it ever was for Morpheus—then…

Morpheus blinks back tears and squeezes Hob’s hand.

The beast yowls in protest, but it’s devoured by the warmth Hob has always provided.

The quartet are unceremoniously ushered from the diner at half-eleven. Matthew and Lucienne go to his car, while Morpheus follows Hob to his. The drive back to the dormitories is quiet, though Hob never releases Morpheus’s hand. Once they arrive, Morpheus leads Hob through the corridors to his room.

“I’m sorry it took such a mess to get us here,” Hob says with a wry smile, and Morpheus shakes his head.

“When have you ever taken the easy route?”

“Would you want to go on another date?”

Morpheus chews on his lower lip, nods. What a ridiculous question. Of course he wants another date. He wants more than one; he wants a lifetime’s worth.

“Pick me up Friday after Psychology?”

“Got it.” Hob leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to Morpheus’s lips. “Goodnight, my dream.”

Morpheus watches him disappear around the corner before opening his door. Closing it behind him feels a lot like closing a book on an unfinished chapter. Something doesn’t feel right about how they’ve left it.

He yanks open the door once more only to collide with Hob. He cradles Hob’s cheeks with shaking hands and meets his gaze.

“Do you mean it? Am I really your dream?”

“You are,” Hob manages before Morpheus is dropping a hand to his T-shirt, fisting the collar and tugging Hob inside.

#the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dream x hob #dream of the endless x hob gadling #dreamling #human!au #university au #my writing #dreamling bingo

[sleepsonfutons]

@dreamlingbingo Master Post Time? Dreamling Bingo Master Post Time!

Red - Rating: Explicit or Not Rated Mind the archive warnings/tags & take care~ Yellow - Unposted/unfinished fic snips Enter with caution ymmv Blue - Rating: Teen And Up Green - Rating: General Audiences Pink - Filth, absolute filth (ﾉ*ФωФ)ﾉ Rating: Explicit

A1 John Dee Wins - Even When the World’s On Fire, I Won’t Stop To Watch It Burning Chapter 1

A2 Secret Admirer (Adoptable) Post-Apocalyptic - Even When the World’s On Fire, I Won’t Stop To Watch It Burning Chapter 4

A3 Punishment - Untitled WIP Snippet Fill

A4 Russian Roulette - No Accounting For Taste

A5 Trust me - As a Stranger I Know Myself** Chapter 5 In Your Absence

B1 Searching for answers - Even When the World’s On Fire, I Won’t Stop To Watch It Burning Chapter 3

B2 Bodyguard (Monthly) Only Fools Rush In - As a Stranger I Know Myself** Chapter 3 In Your Company

B3 Phone Sex (Monthly) Obsession - Dream of the Dark

B4 Crying - Even When the World’s On Fire, I Won’t Stop To Watch It Burning Chapter 6

B5 Last of their Kind - Untitled WIP Snippet Fill

C1 Come Swallowing (Adoptable) Road Trip - As a Stranger I Know Myself** Chapter 7 In Your Return

C2 Disability - My Comfort. Your Touch.

C3 Free Space - Empty and Whole

C4 Love Triangle - Untitled WIP Snippet Fill

C5 Felching - Insatiable

D1 Tied on a table - Untitled WIP Snippet Fill

D2 Uniform Fetish - As a Stranger I Know Myself** Chapter 6 In Your Leaving

D3 Time Travel - Untitled WIP Snippet Fill

D4 Mistaken for a couple - As a Stranger I Know Myself** Chapter 3 In Your Enthusiasm

D5 Spanking (Monthly) MerMay - Don't Ask Me To Say Goodbye

E1 Too shaky to stand - As a Stranger I Know Myself** Snippet Fill

E2 Bound and Gagged - As a Stranger I Know Myself** Chapter 1 In The Darkness

E3 Creature: Feline - Untitled WIP Snippet Fill

E4 Magical Healing Cock (Adoptable) Talking in Riddles - As a Stranger I Know Myself** Chapter 2 In Our Correspondences

E5 Magical Pendant - Even When the World’s On Fire, I Won’t Stop To Watch It Burning Chapter 7

**(Collab with @phinofthestorm)

#2023 dreamling bingo #dreamling bingo master post #we made it yall #sleepsonfutons writes #sleepsonfutons writes with phinofthestorm #snips #finished fics #ongoing fics #dreamling #dreamling fanfic #the sandman #the sandman fanfic

[wildmelon]

i wrote this like two months ago when i finished, but im posting it now for my own record lol.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 1

scrambled critical role thoughts and opinions after finishing c1:

oh boy i cried through vax's goodbye scene in the last episode, but holy shit i fucking sobbed through his appearance in dalen's closet. how the fuck was liam so perfect at playing an altered version of vax that was still him at heart. every interaction was perfect. cannot describe how i felt when he addressed scanlan, how the fuck could he come up with such a perfect ingenious opener, i was in tears immediately.

i would not have believed you if you told me when i started that scanlan and grog would have been my favorites at the end of the campaign. (well maybe a little bc i am a confirmed travis stan but seriously i didn't anticipate the level of depth, comedy, and heart he brought to grog). grog's kevdak speech is a campaign highlight for me-- no, a 2023 highlight.

i obviously found scanlan somewhat annoying but funny if often outdated. i kind of just wrote it off as something i'd ignore but sam really made a comeback like damn, i was very happy and surprised when he apologized to pike.

scanlan leaving discourse is old news but for me personally it reminded me of myself in really dark times and the ways poor mental health can make you kinda self-centered. not mad about how any of it went down or how it was resolved, and i love how his and vex's relationship became a highlight for me after his return.

i honestly loved the super high emotional stakes of VM, felt like someone was always mad at someone else, i'm a sucker for inter-party conflict and intense emotional scenes. these guys have so much angst and i love it.

i really enjoyed the tight pacing and goal-oriented episodes. i tend to get stressed out when there's too many broad choices about what to do next in any sort of media lol. this campaign also rly showed me how much i love watching high-level play.

i don't fuck with percy??????? lmfao i don't hate him or anything, i literally can't put it any way besides idfw that man. 😭 he's an interesting character ofc and i do like his friendship with keyleth

keyleth was my fave for most of the campaign. her growth was so rewarding to watch, she made me laugh so many times, i love seeing her become a leader, just adore her and she's such a comfort character to me. bought myself a simple ring with "I have passed through fire" engraved on the inside to celebrate my didn't-kill-myself-aversary this year bc that letter was exactly what i needed to hear 😭

kiki and vax never interested me thatttt much UNTIL they became eternally star-crossed lovers jfc. that is my catnip. tbh it's interesting to me that VM is held up by some as having superior romance to TMN, but i didn't find any of VM's romance super compelling.

since it's been a couple months since i finished, i can add that vex is who i've thought most about since i finished?? i always liked her, loved the grey hunt, adored her relationship with vax, but didn't know i had strong feelings until after i'd finished watching. funny how that happens.

the mighty nein start out fucked up and end up pretty good, while vox machina start out pretty cool and then get super fucked up 😭 much as i love outcasts finding family, it was really fun to watch all these archetypal fantasy Cool Guys just go through so much emotional damage lmao.

#critical role #vox machina spoilers #cr c1 spoilers #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #suicide ment cw #suicide mention #lush.talk

[blorbologist]

oh we really in it now fam

 ahaha

ajahahahahaha

almost time for the main event

Ashley’s little tiny face and you can still see the distress ;;; man it must have sucked to not be there. at least she gets a tissue monopoly if she so wishes

FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK

Vax had wanted to be that light too!! He had wanted, he planned, he had Sarenrae’s symbol stitched into his glove, he was going to follow in her path and then he had to give up that light for his sister, he literally had to turn away form the light because the Raven Queen’s magic is all purples and shadows and the iridescence of a raven’s wings! HE ALMOST WAS THAT LIGHT TOO, IF NOT FOR THIS PATH HE WOULD SHINE WITH HER

oh no

oh no

i.

i dont. I don’t usually cry for media. maybe a lil teary-eyed. wailing. gasping. the sorts.

full on fucking sobbed ‘noooo fuck’, tears startin to really come down hard. had to try and text my brother I love him through the tears. he doesn’t Want spoilers on C1 and part of me worries he’ll guess something will go wrong for the twins but I Need him to know, I need him to know

the kittens are now Very Concerned and checking on me because I am Gurgling

had to take my glasses off 

looks like this is the breaking point for tal and sam too, they’re Extra Devastated. i think at least its hard to see through the yknow tears

look theres no point in me screenshotting this you. you have to rewatch for yourself i guess

just. everything about this.

‘i dont know how to live.’

‘i will see you again’ ‘i know’ she knows and it doesnt make it better, it doesn,t it doesnt, seeing you again is nothing to seeing you now and soon and later, and fuck fuck fuck she must regret that he wasn’t at her side when she and Percy got married, fuck she must hate every goodbye and goodnight and later that she didn’t immediately need to say, every extra moment she could have taken with him. they saw eachother once a month over the timeskip, ish, once a month, once a month, how can that measure to a lifetime, how can she live off those sparse memories of them together when they both had a happily ever after??

i lied. one more

‘i will tell mother that you say hello‘ ‘please’ oh FUCK ME

‘i love you,,, i dont accept this‘ vex you and your husband are so very stubborn and and and fuck, her echoing Percy but it meaning just. adjacent. percy sounding like he wanted to, could challenge a god, hed just been put in his place but hed fucking try. vex just. vex just letting vax know. just doing it to let her brother know. i love you, i dont accept this, to be i love you, i cant accept this, how can this be the end, twenty eight years and its not the wilds not the dragonfire not the magics not the curses not even the gods, not really, not truly, it’s that I died and you didn’t want me to go and then you died and that sealed it. twenty-eight years and this was written in the sand over a year ago, and written in the dust of you days ago, and i still havent had time or will to come to terms with it even though i know it cant be stopped

(maybe she’d have rather died there, in that tomb. remained still, unknowing of the beautiful future she could have had, if it had meant vax would stay. that he’d get that light and joy he deserved)

(its not a fair trade. its not. he would hate it. so would she. but youd give anything and everything for them wouldnt you)

#critical role #vex'ahlia #cr vex #vax'ildan #cr vax #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #tlovm spoilers

[adominguezs]

Bon Jovi - Cross Road (The Best Of). Año 1994. Edición USA. Reedición Año 2022. Hard Rock. Mercury.

Es el primer álbum de grandes éxitos de la banda, publicado por Mercury Records el 11 de octubre de 1994. El álbum contiene éxitos provenientes desde su álbum debut Bon Jovi (1984) hasta su quinto álbum Keep The Faith (1992) y dos nuevas canciones; «Always» y «Someday I'll Be Saturday Night».​

Músicos Jon Bon Jovi - voz y guitarra. Richie Sambora - guitarra y coros. Alec John Such - bajo y coros. David Bryan - Teclado, piano y coros. Tico Torres - batería y percusión.

Producción Tony Bongiovi - productor. Jon Bon Jovi - productor. Richie Sambora - productor. Bob Rock - productor. Bruce Fairbairn - productor. Peter Collins - productor. Lance Quinn - productor. Danny Kortchman - productor.

Tracklist: A1 Livin' On A Prayer 4:11 A2 Keep The Faith 5:44 A3 Someday I'll Be Saturday Night 4:38 A4 Always 5:52

B1 Wanted Dead Or Alive 5:07 B2 Lay Your Hands On Me 5:58 B3 You Give Love A Bad Name 3:43 B4 Bed Of Roses 6:34

C1 Blaze Of Glory 5:40 C2 In These Arms 5:19 C3 Bad Medicine 5:14

D1 I'll Be There For You 5:41 D2 In & Out Of Love 4:23 D3 Runaway 3:50 D4 Never Say Goodbye 4:49

#musiccollection #coleccióndemúsica #vinilos #viniloschile #viniloslp #sharemusic #compartirmúsica #lp #vinylrecords #hardrock #bonjovi

[your-enby-antihero]

Does anyone else search up the Vax goodbye speech for C1 Ep 115 when they feel sad and use it just to get the tears out? Like damn no amount of my emotional repression will stop Liam o Brien from going for the jugular. Also shout out to GingerAnya ‘s animatic for that moment, the beautiful visuals really also fucked me up.

#critical role #cr shitpost #vax'ildan #C1 Ep115