#gonna be working through tears

[killerandhealerqueen]

Oh, tomorrow is the day I start rewatching/rewriting ep. 21...oh, tomorrow is gonna hurt me because I now know that this is the episode where I’m actively gonna have to start rewriting plot.  Wish me luck cuz my emotions are gonna be SHIT

#sass watches cdramas #Killer and Healer #cdramas #Killer and Healer rewatch #now this...this is the episode where sun yongren dies #i remember now #zining's death in 20 was like the fire starter and everything just goes up in flames from there #yay me #gonna be working through tears #fuck

[1alchemistart]

returns after 2 months with art from a completely different fandom

Greetings. hows it goin KLSDFKLSD

ive been going through it (a bit o' burnout with a dash of my health going ough augh oogh) but hewwo ill make a bit of an effort to post more again owo

#totk #totk spoilers #loz totk #tears of the kingdom #link totk #zelda totk #zelink #ganon #ganondorf #ganon totk #link zelda #botw #legend of zelda #my art #ok i have reached the rambling side of the tags OK SO #TUMBLR THE TAGGING WORKS DIFFERENTLY AGAIN NOW? SDFKLSDKL #how many updates are they gonna make to the post editor goddamn #also before you ask no i dont have botw totk nor a switch #for i dont have the money for all that #so i am admiring the game from afar and living vicariously through playthroughs #also wow for every tag i add the DRAFT SAVED thingy pops up JKDKL thank u tumblr

[homoeroticgrappling]

Danhausen tweeted this after his GCW match and I couldn't help but think about his tweet when he started looking for bookings

#reading ''danhausen is alive'' made me feel like I could cry honestly because his booking tweet made me want to sob #like HE WANTS TO FEEL ALIVE AGAIN. and now he's alive. #look what he can do when you let him actually wrestle and take him seriously! and he seems so happy compared to how frustrated he's been #tk when I get my hands on you. book danhausen better you absolute fucking moron #I'm so proud of this demon cause he works fucking hard and he deserves better but when it was clear nobody was gonna do better for him #he did it for himself #he seems as happy to be in the ring wrestling as we are to see him there and it just makes me feel big feelings #*through tears* love that danhausen #GCW #Danhausen

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the picnic table scene

#this isnt going to make sense to literally any of you for a long time and im sorry about that #but FUCK was i writing this morning #man. man man man man Man the motivation Hit #this fic might get done after all... #i need. to go sleep. OUASGAHSAKJSNCADCLSKDVMS; #THEY MAKE ME INSANE THEY MAKE ME INSANE #YALL ALREADY KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT #THEY MAKE ME CRAZY AGH AGH AGH #ok. ok. ill sleep. and we'll see if the scene holds up when my brain is Refreshed #absolutely unprompted #throwing myself to the ground and howling #who do i need to BITE #oh 7 am me we're really in it now #literally getting myself too worked up. im. Emotional. i almost feel like tearing up #if that was something i could do lmao #fortunately crying does not come easily to me but in my heart im like. idk. Sobbing #anyway in order to calm down im gonna go think about something that makes me equally insane #which is the OG reason i designed a butterfly look for howdy. yass!howdy's origins <3 #slamming my face through drywall ok bye im off to crazyville where i can catch a layover to sleepytown

[lastdivantruther]

don't trust her dazai, she's gonna blackmail you to buy every flavor of ice creams and bully you anytime chuuya is around.

i don't trust my writing to be readable so dialogs under the cut:

Kyouka: Dazai-san, is it true that you're going to die of heartbreak if you have to hide your undying love for big brother any longer?

Dazai, earlier that day: If poor Chuuya hides his undying love for me any longer, I'm afraid he'll die of heartbreak!

Dazai, now: 'Not exactly in those words...'

Kyouka: I don't want you to die. So I decided to help you by acting as your illegitimate child. With this plan big brother will take pity on us and agree to go out with you.

Atsushi, murmuring to himself: Could it work? I mean, I wouldn't fall for it myself ofc, but Chuuya-san seems like a kind person... Would I fall for it?? If Aku had an....

Tsushi and Dazai: 'Isn't that the plot of the TV show from last night?'

Dazai: Kyouka-chan, that's a PERFECT idea!! 🌸

Kunikida, from his desk: No it's fucking not!

#this sounded way funnier in my native language #atsushi and kyouka are those siblings who look very levelheaded from the outside #but the moment they get used to you they show their true colors #which is both share one braincell that never gets used except for creating chaos #add aku to this mix and you're gonna have very serous explanations of very stupid logics #idk i think they would have so much fun together #anyway back to kyouka's plan #chuuya sees through kyouka's fake tears immediately because my guy worked with dazai for three years #but he gets so annoyed at dazai's attempt of caretaking #so he decides he HAS to interfere and help him #not because he wants to okay #at one point they forget about kyouka who disappears with dazai's wallet #bsd #bsd fanart #dazai osamu #atsushi nakajima #kyouka izumi #bsd kyouka #bsd atsushi #soukoku #comics #my art #i probably butchered english a couple of times till this point so thanks for reading so far #i'm alright with getting my language mistakes pointed at me #also this page is super unfinished but i want to move onto the new stuff so #maybe one day i will have time and patience to finish a drawing

[namekiansauce]

TP!Link is the strongest link, you can't convince me otherwise

#artists on tumblr #drawing #not ai generated #legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #twilight princess #totk fanart #totk link #tp link #fanart #im self conscious of my art after my like 5 year hiatus #like my style is the same but is it even something ppl will like? #im also posting on my tiktok but i usually post videos of my cat so the algorithm is gonna hate me #i changed rendering styles halfway through lol #dont focus on the lack of background or tp not being finished #ive been working on this too long to care about legs okay lol

[betasuppe]

I don't remember if I ever posted this but 500% this is IT this is the vibes for Flint & Rinz when/if they ever escape the Grid in 1999 😔👌

#flint is the biggest fucking fan of ugly sweaters & windbreakers #& besides highwaisted pants & some sort of sweater or top rinz can pull off any fucking look #i need to go back to my roots & draw more of Flint & Rinz just in late 90s wear because its so DAMN nostalgic to me #anyways #dorks #i love them #twizzler & front♡ #im gonna have to start digging through old fashion catalogues to find some truly reprehensible items that SCREAM 90s lol #anyways 90s kid mentality #i cant help ittttt #also yeah i forget #but my au takes place in '99 #because y2k is a thing & the ultimatum their working against or risk the grid being fucked forever once the new year comes #anywayyyyys been thinking on them so much #i just #*fangirly tears*

[skitskatdacat63]

this video makes me want to sob and throw up and scream and cry and collapse onto the floor

#actually like sobbing through it this is going to kill me genuinely #god ive not cried these kind of tears in a while LOL #i cry a lot but not whete it makes my chest hurt like this #everyone should watch Get Back. best docu ever made actually :) #but no theres smth about getting a beatles song in the year 2023 #like its not smth i ever imagined but now that it exists its like wow. its truly over. its a fucking solid conclusion and it hurts so badly #im going to rip up my pillow the emotional pain this is bringing me is actually heart wrenching #my one brother one time was like the Beatles are so mid and overrated and i wanted to leap up and strangle him across the table #THEYRE LIFE CHANGING OKAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #idk its just so much my childhood :/ #and this song is ripping my heart out </3 #and hearing them talk about this being the last beatles track ever. like yeah i KNOW but god fuck ouch #the way they talk about george and john im going to bang my head into a wall #mayne i shoulf rewatch get back and have a mental breakdown #i told my friend about that docu when it came out and hes like wow that sounds incredibly boring #how dare you how fucking dare you. 8 hours of content????? fucking...great #but no seriously to listen to this song released now and it sounds exactly like their original work. im gonna throw up i feel so ill #never recovering from this actually 😊 #catie.rambling.txt #Youtube

[jirai-kei-freak]

why does it have to be this way

#Why #I was doing so good this past year #There were times I was literally crying tears of joy because I haven’t felt as happy as I was in years #Now shit’s coming back and I don’t like it #Every fucking time man #“Well life is supposed to have its ups and downs” HAVE YOUVE WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH #summer through all the way to the end of 2023 was one of two of the most miserable times I ever went through #I was almost never happy #Had cheap laughs for like 20 minutes then back to misery #There wasn’t a single day were I didn’t wish i was dead #Literally I would wake up and i immediately wanted to start crying #Thats how bad things were #You could see it in my face how lonely and miserable i was #I hadnt felt that empty for like a good few years since then #It was to the point where I thought there was never going to be light in my life ever again #I went through some fucked up shit and now im traumatized 10x more then i was before #The first day of school was a weak after some extremely traumatic stuff happened man #Then the new year started and everything was starting to get better #I started taking medication #I was much more happier #My self esteem boosted up #I started working on myself and became a better person #I dont think i ever had a period of my life where i felt THAT BETTER #Like I said i was crying because I had felt a massive weight lifted off my shoulders #It literally felt like i saw the light #I legitimately thought things were getting truly getting better #It’s just gonna be the same damn cycle over and over again huh? #For several months I feel depressed as shit #Then for a few months things start to clear up #Then suddenly and abruptly things go back to the shit

[glitter-alienz]

this is how i cope with pain (drawing)

#i went through so much ibuprofin and gels and pain reliefe patches. nothing worked. #i feel the pain in my bone and i can barely turn my head or look down. my arm is heavy and numb and my upper back is swollen. #when this shit passes im gonna have a new outlook on life #this your sign to stretch and not get up fast guyz you could tear a muscle #doodles #vent #im venting on main oopsies #vent art #👽 my art #the dib speakz!!

[deancaskiss]

highlight of the day today: the cranky pessimistic doctor actually said really nice things about me today. I had been asking him questions all day and giving my thought process behind things and my theorized diagnoses and then he let me do a cat neuter today and let me close up another amputation and he wants me to do a spay later in the week… but the real highlight was when we were in surgery and he was asking me questions to test my knowledge and then i asked him a question about his suturing and he was impressed with my knowledge and he called me “intuitive” and said I was “precise and mechanical” (probably because im a hands-on learner and because i like to run through everything I’m doing and do things systemically and he noticed all of that about me in just 2 days and he thought i had good approach) and he repeatedly said he thought i was going to be a good doctor/surgeon and he’s seen students on rotations that he knew wouldn’t be good at the job but he has no concerns about me and said i had good skills and instincts and he was sure about me 🥹

#oliver talks #vet school adventures #literally me trying not to tear up in the OR because he said such nice things #like i asked him why he was doing certain throws with the suture and he was impressed that i noticed he was only doing 2 throws #and he mentioned it was because the suture was a different material than PDS (the normal go-to where we do 4-5 throws) #and he said he does 2 throws because it has good memory and at the same time I said ‘good tensile strength’ and he looked impressed #then he called me intuitive and said i was precise and mechanical (but in a good way) #like he was impressed with the way i approach things and because im hands-on with learning i work through things in my head as im hands on #like i will be coaching myself through it mentally as im doing ti physically #and its like he’s noticed my thought process and the way i work and he was impressed with my approach #anyway still crying about this because after the internal med doctors said crap things in my last review and said i wasnt ready to be a vet #and then this ‘real world’ doctor who’s cyanical and disillusioned turns around and says he has confidence in me and thinks im a good vet #that means literally a million times more than anything else ever could #like its this huge difference from doctors on campus in a education setting being overly critical and harsh #and then an actual real world practice practioner basically sang my praises today in his own cranky way #yeah thats like the biggest compliment ever #because its like he’s so honest and brutal about things he doesnt sugar coat anything #so the fact he said those nice things to me today. i know that was genuine and real because if he doesn’t like something he makes it known #but ive impressed him. me. i did that. i impressed the doctor today. #dont mind me im gonna cry now #now i gotta watch all the spay videos again before i do surgery in front of him this week so i can impress him (dont wanna disappoint him)

[gil-estel]

January 2023 Reads

The River of Silver, S. A. Chakraborty (2022)

Silver in the Wood, Emily Tesh (2019)

Drowned Country, Emily Tesh (2020)

The Spear Cuts Through Water, Simon Jimenez (2022)

Shards of Earth, Adrian Tchaikovsky (2021)

Eyes of the Void, Adrian Tchaikovsky (2022)

Children of Time, Adrian Tchaikovsky (2015)

Children of Ruin, Adrian Tchaikovsky (2019)

River of Silver ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

It's been over a year since I finished Empire of Gold, but jumping back in via The River of Silver, it was like I never left Daevabad. Reading these shorts was much the same comfort-food experience of scrolling through AO3 after finishing a series in search of fics tagged "Missing Scene". Some of my favorites were "Duriyah", the alternative epilogue to Empire of Gold, and the last chapter with Nahri & Ali. It's testament to the vividness of Chakraborty's characters that each of these stories felt like visiting an old friend.

Silver in the Wood ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

A cozy little book, which manages to be sweet but not saccharine. At times it felt like events could use a little bit more room to breath, but an enjoyable read nonetheless.

Drowned Country ⭐⭐⭐½

A bit of a disappointment after Silver in the Wood. Silver is an altogether less sympathetic narrator than Tobias, and the story itself is much more disjointed and the ending a little too neat. I find myself wishing for a book about the adventures of Maud, Mrs Silver, and Tobias (sans Silver himself) all of whom were rather underutilized in this story.

The Spear Cuts Through Water ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

It was initially a little difficult to start this book—the second-person narration and setting seemingly disconnected from the synopsis raising the barrier to entry. But boy was pushing through it worth it! The prose really manages to convey a sense of mythic weight and wonder and the crush of ages. That being said, this book isn't going to be for everyone—it has ritualistic cannibalism, for a start. While some books are perfect on their own, I will admit that I find myself wanting to read more in this universe; it feels like room still remains for a sequel (a thread still unknotted, or just loosely so... easily unraveled).

Shards of Earth ⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book scratched the hyperspace-navigation-shenanigans itch that the Rebels sequel probably won't. I fully enjoyed the world-building and the ensemble cast. The romantic tension/chemistry fell a little flat for me, but honestly that's not really the point of the story so it's not a big deal.

Eyes of the Void ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This one was *very* fun and I'm excited to see how the series concludes! My only complaint is that at times the exposition felt repetitive, with the narration rehashing events multiple times as if we might have forgotten over the last 100 pages.

Children of Time ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I am obsessed with the world building in this book, and utterly fascinated by the time scales across which the plot occurs. Very unexpected and so interesting.

Children of Ruin

I'm currently at 51% and loving it! Both a direct sequel to Children of Time and an exciting, new narrative.

#yes i have been tearing through adrian tchaikovsky's works they're quite fun #im gonna try to keep this up so i dont actually go months without reading again #BookGoals23 #also for reference i tend not to finish books I'm not enjoying so my ratings tend to skew high

[waywardsalt]

theres a lot abt post-ph ive never really mentioned. grants theres also a lot i havent figured out

#i only have a handful of arcs and scenes properly figured out i need to get my shit together with this. im def deleting this later #anyways. i dont think ive mentioned anything abt linebeck being more or less immortal #in the sense that like. he cant be killed through combat means. its some weird healing magic shit #specifically started with the intent that it lets me tear him apart repeatedly but its fine bc he heals anyways #with the limits of like. poison and sickness and certain things CAN kill him. but he can like. get disemboweled and its fine #im gonna delete this later im jsut thinking sbt it #i remember while talking to it with a friend he asked ok so how does it work if he gets torn evenly in half #cuz my logic is like. say he gets an arm cut off. the lost arm decays like normal and a new one kinda just slowly grows in bones first #so his question is one ive been thinking sbt since i need to come up with a good answer #anyways linebeck is fucked post ph hes got insane healing shit due to uhhhh reasons (i know the reasons) but hes still made of papier mache #so its like. bellum is more or less indestructible so hes the only actual immortal #while linebeck is just. prone to being a little more reckless. i need to tweak story stuff. hes the worst in combat #so hes very down to like. cutting a hand open to give bellum some of his blood. its fine itll heal in like an hour #the idea is that the healing becomes faster the longer it is since he gets that ability but there is a ceiling #its like a mixture between technically having phantom blood and some other god-ish deity interference i need to zero in on it dw #look i need it so that he can be covered in his own blood and in agony several times without like. him actually fucking dying from it

[bootyful-seventeen]

omfg i am scrolling through the twisted wonderland wiki for the jpn server and oh my fucking god i cannot wait for these future cards to release on the na server

#and we are also getting a rollo card for the rerun of the glorious masquerade event like holy shit bro #and then there's gonna be the lilo and stitch event and idc if i am spoiling the groovy arts for these i want them so bad omfg #and then the white rabbit festival event has tears running down my face from how cute epel and deuce look in the groovy art #BUT THE GENERAL LILIA CARD HFJFGBDHJGBHFHJGBH I FOAM AT THE MOUTH THE LOOKS SO BAD ASS #and the new ortho card too like ughhhhhhhhhh i am gonna be struggling so hard with picking what cards to save my gems for #at least the culinary crucible event is extremly generous and lets you buy a card in shop so i just work towards that #after i go through the daily pull that is 10 gems since i get one of the two limited cards pretty quickly that way so i just buy the other #and that way while i am working on getting the event coins for the event store i can save the single pull keys i can get for later to save

[berryunho]

man just tell your siblings you love them

#thats all i can think about #my brother #what would i do without my brother #i dont believe in anything but i sincerely believe that hes not suffering anymore #but my god sua . #id never fucking recover #all my tears are for her #death tw #berryunho.txt #this is all im gonna say on the matter bc i dont work through my feelings like that #but just . yeah .

[chaoswillcalmusdown]

i have my follow up endo appointment this morning and i woke up at 5 am with nearly as much pain as that time when i went to the ER thinking my appendix had broken

#so i'm in pain right now but not like BAD pain #and in 2 hours i'm gonna suffer through an ultrasound exam where she's gonna poke at the fucking cyst which is causing me pain #while already starting out in pain #wow how fun for me #i will noT be going to work later as planned........ i will be curled up in tears probably