#god the man drives me fucking batty

[laurenkmyers]

#bang chan #stray kids #skz bang chan #skz #christopher bahng #straykidsedit #skzedit #mine #god the man drives me fucking batty

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

the sole and devastating problem with monkey man is that it will literally never be able to push past the people who think the concept of the film disrespects hanuman ji to be exposed in an environment where people see it for more than its name.

#raj shitposting #my mother ACTUALLY asked me why the film took hanuman ji as the monkey god to drive the plot when there are monkey gods everywhere. #i was so shocked because wtf all those monkey gods are literally based on hanuman ji besides this is a film about an indian man. #she still thought that it was just disrespecting hinduism so i didn't let her watch past the scene with lucky in the tavern. #like i don't think indians have the tolerance or the right etiquettes to watch this film at all. #which is why i am starting to feel glad it was never released here. indians saale hain hi adipurush ke layak mcbc. #inn logo ko bhakti do to uski batti banakar filmmaker ki hi gaand mein ghusedna chayenge. #inhe violence do to kahenge humare bhagwaan aese nahi the tum log humare bhagwan ka mazak uda rahe ho. #saala chahate kya ho? #tum log behenchod adipurush dekho aur har acchi cheez ko ban hone do. #people view religion as blind devotion rather than something that allows you to connect yourself to your gods. #they don't believe their gods could make mistakes. and they sure don't believe for a goddamn second that their god could be wrong. #i am not saying monkey man is about proving god wrong because it FUCKING ISN'T. #it's about a boy who clung to a story his mother told him as a child in hopes of finding her in the ugly face of the world. #something that would allow him to keep going because that's what hanuman ji would've done. that what his mother would've wanted. #like stop this absolute crap nonsense guys this film does not call the kid hanuman it literally invokes his image to inspire the kid. #HANUMAN JI IS WHAT IS HELPING THE KID FIGHT THIS WAR WITH HIMSELF AND THE WORLD. #he's literally like the krishna to the kid's arjun. he's a guide who talks through the kid's past through his mother's voice. #tum log bajrangi bhaijaan hi dekhlo bhai tumhare andar yeh picture hazam karna ka guda nahi hai. #monkey man #dev patel

[henrysglock]

Pulling @krokodilsredimudil'stags from this post

OKAY THIS IS SOMETHING IVE BEEN CHEWING ON FOR A LONG TIME!!

Now, I don't have a full "analysis", but I've got a web of things I've noticed.

Let's start by looking at an Observer (September pictured here):

Bald, grey suit, darker tie. They can both see and move within past, present, and future. They exist outside of time, a new branch of humanity from an alternate future. They're guardians of the timeline, making alterations to ensure that specific ends are reached.

Now, there's a certain character this sounds a whole lot like, who we've discussed before in the context of Vecna/001: Dr. Osterman/Dr. Manhattan.

He can also see past, present, and future all at once, and he can manipulate the universe to get his desired ends.

Particularly, though, what connects him to Vecna/001:

Dr. Manhattan's theme, Prophecies by Phillip Glass, which comes from the documentary Koyaanisqatsi, plays over young Henry/Edward's introduction in 4.07.

As Dr. Osterman becomes a blue, super-powered, pseudo-God "Dr. Manhattan"...so, too, does 001 when he becomes Vecna:

The 001 -> Vecna transformation sequence is beat-for-beat the same as Dr. Osterman's transformation into Dr. Manhattan:

So this all already puts Vecna tangentially into the realm of Observers.

But what makes this paralleling interesting is this:

That man is not Jamie Bower. Period. The man we're told becomes Vecna is not Jamie Bower.

For reference...here's Jamie Bower under similar lighting/injury:

Proto-Vecna? Not the same (as I've detailed here and here).

He may not look like Jamie, but he does look like Modine/Brenner:

(as I've detailed here)

Meaning if we hand-wave and mumble a little to tie Brenner and Vecna together, we get a true Dr. Manhattan-type character. A doctor who fucked around and found out and ended up a fucked up blue pseudo-God.

Which becomes even more interesting when we consider that, from a certain point pre-Gate, Brenner does not change outfits. He always wears a dark grey suit and a darker tie...just like an Observer.

(This exact costuming detail has been driving me batty because it makes it impossible to put Brenner's scenes in chronological order. He's always wearing the same thing, meaning I have to rely on the outfits of those around him to try and piece it together, which is...insanity-inducing)

This becomes even more interesting when we consider that William Bell had plans to create a brand new universe out of the decimation of the existing two and act as the God of that universe.

Which, initially that makes you go:

"Okay, that's a 001 thing"

Except...

However, he does so with just a shit ton of chess references, much akin to how Henry describes Brenner in NINA:

While also being heavily Brenner paralleled in shot choices and character design:

And here's Bell's New Universe plus its inhabitants, as compared to demodogs:

However, after having his plans thwarted, Bell then pairs up with the Observers, selling the Fringe team out to them in Season 5, which leads them into the final timeline reset.

We also know, from season 5 of Fringe, that "normal" humans can become observers by co-opting their technology:

(peep the Bowie reference)

And we have a Brenner who is a) in direct connection with William Bell and the cortexiphan trials and b) is not located by the end of Fringe.

So like...I have nothing but questions, honestly! I wonder if Brenner is somehow tied to that Brenner, and if he has Observer-like abilities the way Peter does when he co-opts the Observers' technology. Our Brenner predates cortexiphan, and he predates Walter/Bell's discovery of the alternate timelines...

So who's to say he's not tied to Fringe's Brenner? Our Brenner is known for his LSD trials in pursuit of pushing the limits of human ability.

I mean, the Duffers even go so far as to say that Brenner was looking for Henry to show him "other worlds about how our universe works".

That's textbook Fringe. That's textbook Bell and Bishop. Were Stranger Things to be something of an offshoot, Brenner would be in exactly the same line of work as Bell and Bishop. Hell, Richard Brenner in ST could very well be meant to be tied to Fringe's Brenner. We just don't know, and we won't until Season 5.

I just... [REDACTED] Brenner, William Bell, Walter Bishop, Peter "Test Subject 01" Bishop, Olivia "Subject 13" Dunham, Henry Dunham, Henrietta Bishop, Ella and Eddie Blake (named for his grandfather, Eddie Dunham). Martin Brenner, Richard Brenner, Peter Ballard, Peter Owens, William Byers, William Hargrove, Henry/Edward "001" Creel, El "011" [REDACTED], Eddie Munson...etc., etc. into eternity.

Bell, Bishop, Brenner.

Anyway, I do have a working graphic for this web of connections, though:

#martin brenner #william bell #henry/vecna/001 #timeline theory #stranger things #fringe x stranger things

[luckyqueenreign]

OMG, I have so much to say about this stupid Noah and Finn comparison! It drives me batty that people think they are remotely similar.

Let’s break it down.

Finn: waltzes in like God’s Celtic gift to the Villa and wants a piece of everyone. He takes MC on a date and puts the moves on her. Then he takes Kat on a date and puts the moves on her too. Then he picks Kat because while the “emotional connection” with MC is stronger, the “sexual connection” with Kat is stronger. In other words, he assumes sex with Kat would be better than sex with MC and he’s just here to get laid. He fades away for a bit, then starts putting the moves on MC again. When everyone and their dog decides to come for MC’s neck for the 100th time for no damn reason, he wants to play white knight. As if his ass hadn’t sat back and contributed to the bullshit up to that point. And even THAT he fucks up. He can’t say publicly that he has an interest in MC…just that he doesn’t like the way MC is being treated (AKA starts backpedaling in the face of Kat’s wrath). In private, he gives this whole speech about really liking MC and how he’s not feeling it with Kat. But then he treats Kat exactly the same way he did back on day two, like he’s all in on her. And let’s not mention he has zero balls when it comes to the heart rate challenge while Noah finds a way to serve MC despite Hope’s possessiveness.

Noah: shows no interest in anyone besides Hope. Literally none. He shuts down MC almost immediately saying he’s really into Hope and MC shouldn’t waste her time trying because that won’t change. When he does start to develop feelings for MC, it’s canon that he talks about it with Rahim AND Priya, then eventually Hope too. When confronted publicly about his feelings for MC, the man is HONEST with Hope. He’s confused about his feelings and he likes both MC and Hope. And despite facing down Hope’s wrath, he doesn’t backpedal or cave. He refuses to be strong armed into choosing when he isn’t ready. Then they SLOWLY build that relationship and show him gravitating toward MC and (this is the important bit) away from Hope.

If you choose to kiss Finn (I’m talking shower scene because that stupid date kiss drama is absolute BS. He wasn’t with Kat back then, it doesn’t count), he says NOTHING. Meanwhile, if you kiss Noah (or Priya kisses him), he immediately tells Hope. Nothing physical happens between MC and Noah again until day 29, which brings me to the bits comparison.

Yes, Finn and Noah both get their dicks wet with MC and then want to keep it a secret, but Noah has almost no time to confess the truth and their chance for finishing the show together has passed…it’s the bloody last day for crying out loud! And AND Noah isn’t all over Hope while his dick still smells like MC. But Finny boy is “passionately” snogging Kat’s face off before his dick has even gone soft.

They 👏🏼 are 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 the 👏🏼 same 👏🏼

If anyone resembles Noah in season 5, it’s Suresh. Fighting his feelings because he thinks he’s doing the “right thing” (for Noah, the “right thing” is staying with Hope, for Suresh, he’s not good enough for MC so being with literally anyone else is the “right thing”). When things start to get more serious there towards the end, Noah and MC have these secret saucy moments out in the open, kind of like Suresh and MC during his Arlo phase. I’d say that’s about where the comparisons stop (aside from the fact that they’re both hot as hell). FB will NEVER have a route like Noah again. They’ve committed to these half-baked storylines and routes and Noah takes work.

THANK YOU!!!! I was going to go into more detail today because it was driving me up the wall last night, but I needed to watch Love is Blind first 😭🤣😭...THERE IS NOTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR ABOUT FINN & NOAH!!!! And I'm convinced that anyone comparing the two has never done a Noah route. Because you can't possibly compare Noah's tortured, growing feelings for MC to Finn's flighty ass. Also your Suresh comparison is spot on.

It's exactly like you said, the second he even has an inkling for feelings for MC, Noah admits them to Hope. But after he chooses her he struggles with denying his feelings for MC, because he wants to do right by Hope and the rest of the villa. BC remember after Casa Lottie&Bobby forego developing new connections to save both Noah and Hope so that they could be together. By that point it was already clear that there were major cracks in their relationship but Noah wasn't going to end things there. Him having sex with MC on the roof terrace, wasn't something icky like Finn's. Noah wouldn't have planned for that to happen, especially because it happened on Day 29/30 and if you kiss him the night before he runs away. He went up there to finally confess his feelings for MC because he realized his time was up and if he left now without telling her how he truly felt he would regret it. The sex here, was a build up of feelings, sexual tension, maybe a kiss that escalated and went too far. But it 100% wasn't planned. Noah isn't the type of guy who flaunts his sexuality, earlier in the season there's a day where MC sleeps in and can hear Noah and Hope fooling around in bed, if she shares it with the other islanders he gets deeply embarrassed by this. Noah and MC don't share what happens on the roof terrace, because honestly would you? It's the last day in the villa, you're about to leave, after all the drama that season it's clear they wouldn't want to make the final day about them. So they decide to tell their respective partners after the final. But Noah breaks up with Hope IMMEDIATELY. And that is the difference. He doesn't make you tell Hope, or end things for him like Finn is trying to make MC do now with the recoupling. He mans up and CHOOSES MC.

I don't think I need to add anything on to your Finn analysis because it was **chefs kiss**

#litg noah #READ THIS IF YOURE A NOAH STAN AND HAVE BEEN VICTIMIZED BY THE FINN COMPARISONS

[infizero]

one day i will make a beautiful full rewrite of sonic forces like ive always dreamed of doing since i was a 14 year old girl

(ok so um. i started writing stuff in the tags and it accidentally got so long i went far beyond the tag limit. whoops. so this is just an actual post now. read more for my insane sonic forces rewrite ramblings)

i want to so fucking bad. every time i think about the wasted potential that is forces it makes me so depressed ToT i cant help but love forces despite it being garbage. the soundtrack is banging, the character customization is fun, i LOVE infinite, it attempted a darker story like the good ol days..... its so fucking bad but there were so many cool ideas and it drives me insane

also its one of the few sonic games i've actually played firsthand. purely because it was free on like the playstation game pass thing or whatever its called. and i did genuinely have fun with it even if it was pretty easy. also for the longest time of me being a sonic fan, forces was the latest mainline game. that era is when i got into sonic so idk. i cant help but look fondly on it even though its writing choices drive me fucking batty

while thinking about all this i came up with an interesting idea. so. there's something so fucking cool to me about infinite and the avatar's dynamic like. the way that infinite, despite his powers... him being a mobian and that scene of him flying right beside you and stuff..... idk its like he feels more on your level then some like ancient god villain or whatever.

that flying side-by-side scene esp inspired this but ANYWAY. what if, to make him AND the avatar character more interesting.... they were like. childhood friends or something. or just knew each other in the past in general. that would add SO much depth to their interactions within the game of like. infinite calling them weak. flying side by side. infinite's whole classic "character trying to reinvent themself" thing.

like infinite is using the power of the phantom ruby, trying to become strong because shadow called him weak and everything <- which btw this motivation has gotta change/be expanded upon cause this shit is still so silly. shadow called him gay and that's infinite's whole motive. cmon now we can do better than that

ANYWAYS. but that desperation from infinite to become an entirely new person - changing his name, wearing the mask, etc etc. that could become even more interesting if you add someone into the mix who knew infinite BEFORE his transformation.

and i know i know the avatar is supposed to be able to be projected on and stuff whatever whatever. but like idk man. plenty of protagonists have pasts that are part of the story even tho they're customizable. and besides it wouldnt be like a full backstory for the avatar. just the fact that they knew infinite once upon a time. and maybe something happened that split them apart or something. idk. but whatever happened between then and the events of the game wouldn't be elaborated upon, so you'd still be able to come up with your own story for your character if you want to.

and then the avatar's presence in the story could present a conflict for infinite. maybe despite him trying to act like he doesnt care, he like. hesitates. or lets the avatar go at some point. or something. and that gets him in trouble with eggman <- on that note. MORE CONFLICT BETWEEN EGGMAN AND INFINITE. im a little fuzzy on that aspect of the game but from what i can remember that never really goes anywhere. i want infinite being fickle about eggman's orders to MEAN SOMETHING!!!!!

also. i guess infinite could still ambiguously die at the end. but he'd definitely survive and show up in a later game, a la shadow. i need him to. my special boy.

anyways but going back to the avatar and infinite. i rlly think this could make both of them far more interesting than they are now. infinite rlly doesnt have like. an arc over the course of the story? hes just kinda. there. we get his backstory but in the present he kinda just. fights you a few times and then he dies. the end. this would actually give him something to do during the story, even if it was just like. brooding over why he let the avatar go or something.

and like..... i feel like forces SHOULD focus a lot on infinite? at least more so than the actual game did. like it doesnt have to be a shadow sa2 situation where like the whole game is centered around his story but i honestly... wouldnt be opposed to that either. like the war stuff is not that interesting im gonna be real.

also btw OBVIOUSLY the whole "sonic being imprisoned and tortured for 6 months with zero consequences" thing would be changed. that shit is so stupid and pointless. idk for sure if i'd just get rid of it outright or alter it, but probably the latter. cause like it IS actually an interesting scenario: how would these characters react to sonic being presumably dead? (long-term. 06 does not count LOL)

like that genuinely is a fascinating scenario to explore but i think one of the main things is that it would have to take place soon after it happened. none of this 6 months later amy wistfully going "sometimes i still dream sonic is with us....." shit, that is so dumb. WHAT is the point!!!

i'd want the story to start like fairly soon after sonic gets captured. and it wouldnt just be "sonic characters act as war generals" simulator. if we're doing this we are going ALL in. full focus on the characters' emotions and mental states which fluctuate over time. at the beginning they're hopeful but as more time passes with no sign of sonic and them losing more and more land to eggman, things start to crack. that could genuinely be so interesting to watch as long as it was treated with the actual seriousness it deserves instead of the cop-out edginess with no repercussions that the actual game has.

speaking of this part. TAILSSSSSSSS tails in forces was the wasted opportunity of the century. im gonna be real after having so much time to think about it, i really dont think that tails cowering after sonic was defeated was THAT egregious. i definitely think it could've been handled better, considering he had both beat chaos before and thought sonic had died before, BUT. tails is, at the end of the day, still a little kid. no matter how much hes grown and everything, thinking his big brother is fucking dead is probably still gonna fuck him up big time!!!

i also think that the idea of tails out on his own is SO fucking interesting and i am so mad every day that they barely did anything with that. maybe tails DID stay with everyone else at first. maybe after enough time everyone else presumed sonic to be dead and tails got upset because he knows sonic can't be dead, he always comes back, he did last time this happened right? and he left one day without telling anyone, attempting to try and find sonic himself.

and then he comes across omega all trashed up, and him fixing him, oh, idk, ACTUALLY MATTERS? (crazy i know) omega gets fully restored (plus some upgrades, of course) and it becomes the two of them against the world. throwing in a little craziness here but what if omega sticks with tails bcuz tails (who is definitely um. a lil more fucked up from everything) promises that hes directly interfering with eggman here, and that he'll actually allow omega to full on KILL eggman if/when they get the opportunity to. (tails is not fucking around) i just really need these two working together to be a thing.

rouge and shadow could also be MIA. i dont know if i'd want them as part of the larger resistance, they'd probably just be trying to help stuff on their own, but maybe at some point they'd realize that shit is really fucked this time and the only way they'll be able to stop eggman's reign of terror is by joining forces (lol) with the larger group. power of friendship and teamwork and all that, as is forces' main theme.

anyways. this is kind of all ive got swirling in my brain right now. i dont know how i'd tackle sonic's imprisonment itself. i definitely dont want to be in a position like the canon story where sonic should 100% be traumatized by what happened. bcuz i feel like thats probably a bit much lol... so maybe keep him imprisoned that whole time but get rid of the torture. idk, if we want to really get crazy with it we could throw in a whole thing where its like hey eggman why arent you just killing him? isnt that what you've wanted to do this whole time? funny how you're... keeping him alive like that. isnt easy bringing yourself to kill this kid you've basically watched grow up huh? even if he is your biggest enemy. idk that could result in way too much going on. but it could give a reason for sonic being kept alive + a reason why his imprisonment wasnt too crazy bad. just spitballing here.

ANYWAYS ANYWAYS. for real thats it I NEED TO GO TO BED. good god. maybe i'll rb this post at some point with more ideas if i have them. hell maybe i'll even write this whole thing someday..... regardless. GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK CITY!!!!!!!!!!

#serena.txt #it is almost 3am. ive been writing for like an hour straight i think. maybe even longer than that. #i am literally about to pass out so apologies for the probably numerous errors in this. this is pure serena ramble right here #but i would appreciate if you read it lol

[summertimemusician]

*downs four mugs of extra strong coffee with a sigh* So, that new trailer huh?

Too sleep deprived to go full theorist, so instead I'll compile all of the instances/triggers I can remember for each of the Link's journeys to distract myself from from Skyward Sword because boy having patience with the emulator controls is actually driving me batty. But if I lived through Minish Cap, Zelda I, OoT and Majora's Mask then I can probably do this.

Spoilers below I suppose?

Skyward Sword Link/Sky looking for Sun after she fell from the Cloud Barrier even though he had zero idea what was going on because she's his best friend and his main childhood friend and literally killing a god for her after he hurt her with lethal intent.

Minish Cap/Four Swords (Adventures) being fully intent on vibe checking Vaati for turning his best friend into stone, stealing the Light Force from her and then kidnapping and almost marrying her against her will and succeeding, came to care for Ezlo and the Minish later on as something of a happy incident, because they've basically been with Link through all of the journey and I feel like Link helped Ezlo heal from Vaati's betrayal as a result (my headcanon is that even if the doorway is closed, him and Ezlo still kept in contact and Ezlo taught him tricks of the Minish Trade in magical items)

OoT Link lost the Deku Tree, his father figure at the literal start of the darn game, and went to fulfill his last words by meeting the princess, who then asked him for help and Link being Link wouldn't refuse (that's a fairy for another day, I have so many thoughts on these boys), then Saria, his literal childhood friend and adopted sister, being taken by Ganon and to likely a lesser extent Ruto, who I feel he would come to see as friend even with the whole marriage thing. He also cares for Navi, the entire point of Majora's Mask is that he went looking for her at the end of the game, and he came to care for Sheik who is later revealed to be Zelda so of course he was going to kill Ganon and either succeed or die trying (well, did die trying in the Fallen Timeline Branch which was technically the 'True' one, before Majora's Mask, Wind Waker and Twilight Princess were a thing and no I will not let any of you forget that technically the Hero of Time was always meant to die but kicks it in different ways depending on the timeline, give this man a BREAK, he may as well be the Odysseus of The Legend of Zelda at this rate, the powers that be keep screwing him over yeesh).

Wind Waker Link wasn't even related to the Hero's Spirit, Ganon just fucked around and found out with the wrong kid's little sister that Wind Waker Link basically made the fates and gods bend with the force of his fury to get Aryll and later on Tetra back into making him the hero just so he could throw hands with Ganon, friendly reminder he's one of two Links that actually kill the guy, and the plot of Phantom Hourglass is also related to getting his new bestie Tetra back.

Spirit Tracks Link literally only became the Hero because his Zelda asked and they became close friends and likely remained close by the end of the game, plus his mentor and likely one of his main caretakers in his youth was basically mortally wounded during that whole deal, 'nough said.

A Link to the Past Link mainly helps Zelda because it's his uncle's final request, but then later on they actually are show to be close enough for him to invest himself on her safety even without that motivation, see A Link Between Worlds and also the Linked (hah) ending of OoA and OoS. He likely also was willing to help Zelda with the wish because, even with the awful prices and freeloading and lying, he came to care for Ravio as a friend and to a lesser extent Hilda too as she was his main guide through Lorule. Plus Marin, who really was an emotional gut punch for everybody I think (read: I played Link's Awakening as a kid and whenever I go visit a beach and a friendly seagull comes by I immediately get flashbacks, I don't know how they are in y'all's places but where I'm from they're shockingly chill).

The Original Zelda's Link aka Zelda one and Zelda II's main motivation was to find the princesses, though that one is slightly shakier because we have no idea if any of them knew each other before the world basically became an apocalyptic scenario or if it was just to vibe check Ganon again, find his vibes lacking and save the land again so it could start to heal.

Twilight Princess Link had the village children (one of them basically being like his surrogate little brother in Colin) and childhood friend taken by Ganon's minions, man had no idea what was going on or even WHO Ganon was before the game mind you, he was just a farmer herding goats in Ordon, he was just determined to get his family back no matter the cost, then he came to care for Midna and the plight of her people and what Zelda was going through and was specially close to Midna, the real thing that set him off against Ganon enough to go in with lethal intent was when he thought Ganon had killed Midna, so not only was he the source of the suffering of most of the people he cared about, but he also was under the assumption one of them DIED while he couldn't do anything about it, it's no wonder he snapped so hard and was just READY to obliterate Ganon.

Cadence of Hyrule is actually an interesting case, because not only does Link go looking for Zelda when she's trapped in an eternal slumber and then comes to care for Cadence, Zelda actually goes looking for Link too if he's the one trapped, that actually gives them away as pretty close be it as friends or something else.

Hyrule Warriors, boy is it also a complicated one. Warriors Link is a soldier willing to break rank to defend his country rather than to wait around with his fellow trainees, so him and his Zelda weren't close at all before, but I can see them becoming close when Zelda breaks out the Sheik identity as there's more chances for them to fight and interact side by side and then heal after the War of Ages is over, plus Lana and Linkle, though realistically speaking, Warriors Link would probably care about all of his comrades in battle on sheer virtue of not only their time spent on the battle field but also of the after, it's easy to relate to someone who knows what it's like to suffer through the same experience, though it's very likely he'd be the closest to Zelda, Linkle and Impa after all was said and done. They'd all have pretty similar nightmares I think.

And finally BOTW because I honestly cannot remember if Link in AoC actually lost someone close to him or if it's a Hyrule Warriors situation. Boy where do I even BEGIN with this dude (I say, as BOTW has been existing rent free in my head ever since the final TOTK Trailer dropped, honestly an achievement as usually that spot is reserved for Twilight Princess and Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask), okay. First he lost his childhood friend in Mipha when the Calamity first struck, and then the other Champions whom I feel he grew close to with time (yes even Revali), likely his family as we see concept art of a sister and a father, Zelda and finally Hyrule, his life and memories, his entire identity as a person though thankfully he was nudged into getting parts of it back. And is probably going to experience that same trauma all over again in TOTK.

Any other instances and I'll add here but Tl;Dr : All of the Links (except maybe the First Hero, Hero of Men and 10.000yrs Ago Hero, though that one is unlikely if you ask me) probably have a lot of separation/abandonment issues plus very big problems with failure (see Skyward Sword Link, no thanks to you, IMPA. And also BOTW Link who probably has the worst of the bunch) or just failing people in general, and as a result are extremely protective of whoever they consider their person and most likely always need to reassure themselves they're still there and are very dedicated to them as a result, in this essay I will-

#loz #linked universe #link #something something tag all the games here #something something oh the inherent tragedy and downsides of being the hero to a story #when you didn't even want to be included in the narrative in the first place #more tags will be added later cause I'm tired. #have a lot of thoughts trapped in my head #though no one would be interested in the actual essays

[many-gay-magpies]

bro it fucking KILLS ME when artists draw live-action characters in the really pretty idealistic anime character style because like. some of them (dream most of the time, for example) can pull off the anime nose-type and face and whatnot pretty well but then you are out here giving fully-adult people with big/hooked noses and eye crinkles and shit little anime noses and no chins and just a little bit of stubble to signify their age. it does not WORK and it drives me batty (yes im talking about hob gadling. drawing dream like an anime man works sometimes but NOT HIM good god.)

#magpie thoughts #sandman #magpie compains #magpie rants #negativity tw

[piplupod]

it's too early in the day to be this bitter and perseverating on it already, and i think i've said it before, but i do wonder what would happen if when ppl asked me how i stayed so skinny "eating food like that" (the specific instance i remember best is when i was eating chicken and rice and cooked veggies.... girl............) or ppl complimented me being skinnier than i had been when i graduated highschool, what would happen if i just said "'oh gee thanks, it's the eating disorder :)"

would they feel shame? would they perhaps experience even a moment of "oh that was fucked up of me to comment on unprompted" ?

#it just drives me absolutely batty #can people PLEASE stop randomly commenting on someone else's body weight or appearance that way !! my god !!! #i did NOT look healthy at the peak of my disordered eating. i looked incredibly unwell. and yet !! people still complimented me!! #that fucked with me so badly !!! #esp bc i've pretty much always been skinny like... why would u ever want a skinny person to get even skinnier #like i guess maybe because i lost some of my babyface but also i looked malnourished and visibly tired all the time #i did not look well fsdjkl i dont know how ppl notice the weight loss but not the sickness #i hate it i hate it i hate it #the only good thing to come out of this is i have an increased desire to draw fat bodies and i find joy in when i gain back body fat #it is a beautiful thing to have fat on our bodies !!!!! #every time someone says smth fatphobic around me i have to go draw like two more fat bodies bc i want to increase the amount of art of them #it is not out of spite so much as it is love fsdjkl #like maybe the spite is an additional kick to do the art but the thing that really fuels me is love for fat bodies and body fat #idk man. i just want ppl to see what i see. i want ppl to see the beauty the way i do. to see how wonderful it is to have body fat. #so i try to communicate it thru my art #i know i haven't put up any of that art here on this blog really but i get shy HFDSJKL esp bc most of it is just this one character #i need to draw bramwell again so i can rb some art here maybe fdsjkl #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #ed tw #fatphobia

[userpoe]

for the characters ask game: each of jedistormpilot? 🥺

You coming in with all three of my babes, bless

Rey:

First impression: I thought she was incredible, relatable, and a complete sweetheart.

Impression now: can you please be a little less relatable hon??? can you bls do that? I love her lots and I love the emphasis she has on found family because that's everything to me

Favorite moment: mhm that's a toughie. She's got a lot of great scenes! But I think it's actually the sequence when they meet Zorii, cos that scene just...showcases all the reasons I love Rey? She hangs back, observant and inquisitive at first (ignoring Zorii and instead asking Poe for more information), then immediately leaping into action once her friends are put into danger, and once the threat is dealt with, offering her hand to Zorii and showing her compassion and gentleness. It's just 😘👌 fantastic

Idea for a story: I'm not sure tbh! I'd really like to see her struggles with connecting to the spiritual side of the Force explored though.

Unpopular opinion: I like her arc in TROS, but I especially love that Leia trained her...I also like her dynamic with Kylo because *munches popcorn* villain/heroes having complex dynamics and having to work together is my bread and butter even if I do spend an inordinate amount of time watching the sequels cheering "WRECK EM BB" when they fight

Favorite relationship: jedistormpilot babey

Favorite headcanon: I like to think that Rey's mom was a pilot in the original Rebellion, who knew Dosmit Raeh - the pilot Rey's helmet once belonged to - and Rey was actually named after her.

Finn:

First impression: I loved Finn so goddamned much you guys. I thought he was incredible and sweet and so fucking funny, he was one of my favorite parts of the Force Awakens.

Impression now: MY BOY. MY GENERAL. I still love him so fucking much??? He's literally the best okay.

Favorite moment: when he fights Phasma, because "rebel scum" has lived rent free in my head since 2017.

Idea for a story: canonically Finn goes undercover aboard the Finalizer (which. Damn. The big dick energy), and I like the idea of him nearly getting caught but a handful of stormtroopers help him and then in return, Finn breaks them out and brings them to the Resistance. Cos you know... rescuing people aboard the Finalizer's kinda his thing.

Unpopular opinion: I have no idea if this is unpopular or not but watching Pacific Rim Uprising last night really made me wish John got to keep his English accent for Finn instead of them going for an American one.

Favorite relationship: again I'm saying jedistormpilot because I literally cannot and will not choose between his dynamics with Poe or Rey because they're both seratonin rushes.

Favorite headcanon: I really really love the thought that Finn might be from Corellia. Don't ask me why, but I just think it'd be so fucking good.

Poe:

First impression: In the theaters it was a very eloquently thought "oh no, he's hot" followed by a "I'm in love" about five minutes later. I really liked that he was sarcastic but wasn't an asshole, because I honestly just....from what we knew about Poe before the film dropped, I was expecting that? So Poe being this very confident, sarcastic, gentle and encouraging man was a big surprise and an even bigger reason I fell as hard as I did.

Impression now: this character...means so damn much to me. The only other character that ever really meant this much to me was the Doctor when I was a kid (I say that like he still doesn't). Poe is a huge, huge comfort character for me and I just. Love him a lot. In ways my neurodivergent ass can't fucking put into words.

Favorite moment: *wants to cheat and include the ending of issue 13* okay from the movies? Probably the TIE Fighter escape or the rooftop scene in TROS with Zorii. I love the escape sequence just cos of how Star Warsy and fun it is - and it's a great example of Poe's personality? The rooftop scene I love because it's just...a really great moment of vulnerability from him. OH GOD AND THE HANDTOUCH? When he's trying to decide what to do with Finn and Rose's plan and goes to Leia to gather his courage and resolve and he puts his hand on hers I just. gOD.

Idea for a story: I really want to write a fic based off a dream I had last November where I was on a mission with him, Finn, Rey, Kaydel, Rose and Beaumont...but I don't know if I'd want to write it as a reader fic or damerey fic (I think it'd be appropriate for a reader fic, since it prompted me into getting back into reader fic).

Unpopular opinion: I don't! Think! He's arrogant!! This comes up a lot in some canon novels and it drives me batty everytime because like... he's confident yes he can be smug sometimes yes, but he doesn't try to be impressive (most of the time) he just says the truth that he has the experience to back him on. The fact that "vainglorious" "self-involved" and "narcissistic" are all terms that have been canonically used abt him annoys me to no end. He's cocksure, yes, but for every positive thing he has to say about himself, he's got even more praise and encouragement for the people around him.

Favorite relationship: Poe and Leia. Like. God. They're everything to me.

Favorite headcanon: I like the idea that when he was seventeen after he left Zorii (and toppled a criminal empire good for him), he stayed with Yegar on the Colossus for some time before he got the courage to see Kes again. I also headcanon that Poe is kind of....an amplifier for the Force.

send me a character!

#michaelperry #ask box

[trashboatprince]

It’s the infamous episode five of Around the World in 80 Days tonight!

It’s uncomfortable, to say the least! :D 

--

-Bellamy deserves to be punched in the face by Fogg. Does this happen? Or is it more of a proper humiliation at the fact that he just up and loses at the end of this adventure because that I remember from reading a kid’s version of the book when I was little. 

-Passepartout wanting nothing to do with that one asshole makes me happy, but... oof, I wish his anger hadn’t gotten the best of him.

-ABIGAIL! NOOOOO! WHY MUST YOU BE GOOD A JOURNALIST! Why must you report the truth...

-I feel so bad for Fogg from the start to the end, except for the part when they go to the place where they are staying in Hong Kong, I don’t know why, that was really funny. 

-Passepartout is quite the man of many lives, I love this about him. I love that he’s way more than just a valet and a waiter. He’s much more of a mystery than Fogg.

-Once again, I love that this show is dunking straight up on British imperialism during the Victorian era. I’m all for it, the historian in me is fueled by this! 

-Okay, seriously, where the hell has Fogg gotten more suits? And what happened to the luggage they had in India??? It keeps changing! I am very confused by this, do you have all your stuff or not! 

-Also, Passepartout’s hat has survived this long, I dunno why, but it makes me laugh. 

-The second-hand embarrassment is nearly as bad as the third episode, but this comes from a place of ‘this is about to become a total fucking disaster and Fogg is going to be an emotional and physical mess because I saw spoilers for this episode’.

-PHILEAS HOW DID IT TAKE YOU 41 DAYS TO NOTICE THAT PASSEPARTOUT WAS A WAITER AT THE REFORM CLUB!? You absolute walnut of a man! 

-I have been requested a few times now on my sideblog to write about Phileas post-flogging, and let me tell you... I am not sure, even after having seen it, if I could truly capture how distraught this man is for what happened to him. But still, now that this episode has been watched, I will still take requests for this. Though I am writing a fanfic based on this series, so when I come to this scene, it’s gonna be a lot different from what I do for requests. Probably. 

-Gosh, I remember months ago, when we got some clips and shots from the series without much context and there was that very, VERY brief moment of Phileas right before he gets struck with the whip, and I just remember the amount of thirst people had for DT being shirtless and chained up. And all I could think was ‘oh, he’s about to get really hurt, isn’t he?’

-Also, that ending, the dramatics never stop. We are a long ways off from seeing the group flying off over the Alps, aren’t we? 

-I hate this show

-No, I don’t, I love it, but my God, it drives me batty. 

#john's commentary

[scripted-dalliances]

Rest In Peace: Chapter One

Title: Rest In Peace

Chapter: 1

Summary: A part of Faithless Fairy Tale, a more in depth look at how they brought Laura back to life. Appearance of old faces, creation of new ones and if you’re looking for canon, it left a long, long time ago. If you squint you might be able to see some pieces from the book.

A/n: This is less a labor of love and more like a violent attempt to get this beast of a story out of my head. I attempted to shave and shape it into something other people might be able to read and enjoy. Did I succeed? I honestly don’t know, this is what happens when I’m left to edit by myself. If it’s trash, I apologize. 

“All you need is someone to believe. Really believe. And maybe a new story, right? A reinvention. A rebirth.”  - Faithless Fairy Tale

+

Laura promises pretty things out of her wicked dead mouth, and to a degree he already believes them. Why wouldn't he, after watching her slay Grimnir with his own blade to save the likes of him?

Make no mistake, he's not deceived by her, he hasn't forgotten who she is. Mad Sweeney knows the mettle of Laura Moon, even minus the stolen war god’s blade and his lucky coin. He is not blinded by her one act of mercy to think she isn’t the same woman who crushed his balls in her palms like fucking walnuts.

Who huffed pesticide under hot tub tarps and crawled out of her own grave. 

He is not stupid.

She is a bitch, she is a crass little thing, but there isn't enough strength in his bones to deny she inspires him. To anger. To stand against the tide. To lower himself right down to her level; to tussle in the mud of blasphemies, insults and filth. Everything about her, pulls and demands something of him. Whether good or bad, whether it is her's by right or not, he hands it over.

(He does it with hard hands, with spite and bitterness. With love.)

The sirens of old could sing their pretty little hearts out, but it's only Laura's voice calling him a pussy that could drive him overboard. The reason unclear; to prove her wrong, to chase her, or just so he could drown himself and be done with her.

Not even he knows.

(So of course he agrees.) 

Mad Sweeney sighs deeply, a man condemned to be saved and hangs his head.

“Yeah, alright you mad bitch. Let's hear your theory.”

+

It takes work. Scratch that. It takes a whole fuck ton of work. Most of which starts with research, that Laura herself demands he be involved in.

The deal is this: She will pray to him, not the old fashion way mind you. With tiny offerings of milk and bread, sweetened by faith. Laura has grand plans, she'll write a book, she'll go on tours reading to kiddies and to anyone who listens.

She promises to sue General Mills for defamation of character if they let her.

She will do it until someone else proves to do it better, and then her part of the deal is done. Problem is she'll only do that if he helps brings her back to life in the first place. Properly this time, in her words. No half-assed plans or maybes.

(His part no surprise, is the difficult part)

Laura of course makes it even more complicated. Refuses to go into this blind, ignoring Mad Sweeney's advice that this will only slow them down. She needs faith, not answers to a bloody pop quiz.

Ostara does the best she can to help, giving them access to her many libraries filled to the brim with books on resurrection, from the gods that bestow it and several ones that involve the opposite. Nestled in many of them are testaments to her growing bitterness. Written in the margins with hot pink ink, little notes of what is a lie, what is a cop out and who took credit where none is due.

She is one of the kinder goddesses, there's more love in her heart than not, but the years of abandonment has made spite grow in her like weeds. Perhaps that's why she takes a liking to Laura's plight, she knows intimately what it's like to be buried and forgotten, to emerge from that grave and still stand. Maybe in the shadows instead of the light, but still there regardless.

Ostara does what many of the patrons of faith have done before, when the faith becomes dry and thin, she makes the best of it. After all, start asking for more than what is owed is what started a war, and she has seen what comes from that.

They all did.

Little Laura Moon, with a stolen blade and a heart made of stone. Who saw new gods and old, strong and weak alike and found them all lacking. It is in her, they have seen the true face of the faithless, the mortals who make or break them, and an end they can not escape.

Whether she knows it or not, Laura has become a judgment no god wishes to cross just yet, and that's perhaps another piece of the puzzle why Ostara gives them so much help. She never says as such, never says a single double-edge word to Laura or Sweeney, but still in rankles on him. The not knowing.

“This is more than what you owe me.” Sweeney tells Ostara, one afternoon when Laura has buried her head in some ancient tome -probably in a language she can't even understand- and isn't paying attention to him. It's not a secret that he's cashing in a favor from the goddess for just being here, but he feels like it's asking a lot. To lean on her good heart, her open doors and know that a storm will hit sooner or later.

(Grimnir might be dead, but the war is far from over. There are still the new gods, the old bitter ones and a whole bunch of fucking traps the old bastard set up in case of his end, that will have to be dealt with.)

“You stopped me from ruining what I loved most.” Ostara tells him, with a soft haunted look, “Too long I've been harboring this...resentment. We all have, but what for? The old days are just that. Old. Maybe I miss the power, but stealing spring is on par with a child throwing a tantrum for attention. That's not me.  So, maybe I'll work a different angle, maybe it won't work.” She shrugs her delicate shoulders. “Either way, I'm going to do it as myself. I'm going to honor all that belief, from the first believers that made me a goddess, who were the first to pray to my name, from those who kept true even when the rest of the world didn't. I can't turn my back on those chapters of my story. Otherwise, who am I?

He doesn't have an answer, it's too soon to be a bastard and remind her of all the fears that drove her to Odin's side in the first place. The weakness, the abandonment and death. Was she ready for that? Were any of them? This isn't a job, there's no step below god, either you are or you aren't, and then you're gone from this world.

Sweeney looks over at Laura Moon, with her moldy flesh, stitched together with cheap glue, bits of metal and string like some sort of bastardized dollar store version of Frankenstein. With all ten of her nails cracked and peeling, the heavy stench of her rot that floats with every breeze; makes even his iron stomach clench and roll, how it lingers as a constant reminder of her late state of decomposition. As if it wasn't obvious when she constantly had to pull maggots out of her ears, mouth and nose.

Maybe Ostara has the right frame of mind.

To keep true to yourself or accept a true end. 

There are worse things than death after all.

+

The weirdest part of all this, you know besides the slaying of Grimnir by a dead girl, of him playing fucking librarian and taking tea with the goddess of Spring while a storm builds; is watching Shadow Fucking Moon blush for Ostara.

It's so fucking weird that he can't even insult the bastard for it.

He'll just sit there silently, watching as the two canoodle -and there is no other words for it, because Shadow will be polite as a nun, and Ostara will just sit as close as she can with a beaming smile. They whisper and giggle like children do when they have a crush and Sweeney doesn't even know where to start with how fucked up any of this is.

It also is fucking awkward as shit for him, because it's not just him in the room when this happens. Laura is there too. Making it a test, a competition of strength of will between him and the bitch dead wife. Whoever had to leave the room first in disgust, lost. 

He lost every god damn time.

Whatever happened to her heart when Shadow failed to believe in her over Grimnir (just for a second, for one painful second, but to the dead that’s forever), has either frozen it or broke it. She doesn't mope or cry, thank Christ above, but she doesn't act jealous either. She is hell bent on other things. Like bringing herself to life.

And testing him with her stupid theories.

He hates it as much as he delights in it.

“Kiss me. Ginger minge.” She demands, hands on rotted hips and dull eyes looking up into his, with absolute venom even as she attempts to flutter her lashes and smile up at him. Shit, she just might actually spit acid at this point if he dared comment about how terrifying she looks.

“Fuck off, no.” He tells her. He doesn't have a point to prove, he just doesn't want to do it.

Not like this.

He drops the book he was not so secretly not reading, and childishly kicks at a pile near her in his attempt to get away. Moving to a different room to keep a stupidly long table between them. Not that it would do much good. She still has his strength, all his luck, and she all she has to do is get one hand on him and he's a dead man. Ha.

“You said you wanted to test my theory!” She screeches like a banshee at his retreating back.

“That was before I knew it was fuckin' batty!” He shouts right back. “That was before you started acting all sweet -horrifying by the way, thought your brain had literally rotted out of your fucking ears! Acting all delicate and soft, telling me to kiss you. Jesus fuckin' Christ, no woman! NO!”

Laura chases him around the awkwardly large dining table, and he won't deny he smiles a bit, when her hip catches a sharp corner and curses at him like it's his fault.  

“Well, excuse me for trying to be nice. I thought it would make this easier!”

“Well, you thought wrong, dead wife.”

It's at this, she snaps. Honest to god, snaps, and flings herself in his direction like a damned hellcat.

Sweeney attempts to run away, but she is small and quick, with hands like a fucking honey badger on crack. Her fingers claw into his shoulder, etching into the jean material like it was nothing but silk. Once she has him there, it's a losing battle, as she clings in with the rest of her body soon after.

They fight all the way down. He attempts to throw her off, but she digs her sharp knees into his ribs. Hard enough to bruise, right until she has him on his back, with her legs clutching down on his sides like steel clamps.

With no tenderness, her clammy hands are gripping his head, all the fingers braced to keep his skull still. Forcing him to look at her as she struggles to plant one on him.

“Let.Me.Kiss.You!” She growls, leaning in only to find him squirming more. She gets his nose, his beard and cheek, ghosting over each but never for long enough. “Are you going to turn into a fucking little toad or something? Christ, I am not asking for your virginity, princess. Just a damn kiss!”

Sweeney tilts his head, strains his neck and wiggles like a dying fish, calling her every name in the book and then some that aren't. He does it in English and Gaelic; all between his gritted teeth but none of it moves her. In the end she claws to keep his face down, digging her razor blade nails into the flesh of his cheeks until he screams.

“Fine! FUCK! I said fine, dead wife! DO IT!”

Laura releases her grip and glares down at him, gets close enough for him to gag slightly on the scent of death and decay that surrounds her -but she doesn't kiss him.

“First tell me why you are acting like such a prude over a single kiss.”

“Oh. Sweet mother of Christ above. Does it matter?”

Laura smirks, and proceeds to squeeze with her thighs around his middle. He screeches something foul, and is seconds away from feeling his guts burst like a fucking water balloon when she eases back. Planting her ass on his hips with no shame.

He will deny it until he is fucking blue in the face, but he likes her weight. Her strength. All wrapped up in a tiny package.

“Tell me or I will literally squeeze it out of you.”

“And they say romance is dead.”

Laura clenches, her face smug when a second later he is screaming once more.

(What he doesn’t know is that she likes when he screams, likes the way he bristles and burns, there is something beautiful in the way he strains so hard against her that the veins in his neck pop and pulse.)

“ALRIGHT YOU FUCKIN' MAD BITCH, I'LL SING. I'LL FUCKIN' SING. NOW STOP BEFORE I PISS MYSELF!”

Laura does, because ew.

Delighted in getting her way once more, she is content to wait for him to catch his breath. Merely tracking the beads of sweat on his brow and the way they trickle into his flaming red hair.

“…ah…fuck…” he pants. Licking his lips while looking away from her. Seemingly shutting his eyes in pain, more pain than he was mere seconds ago in. “I didn't want to kiss you…like this. With you making it all business and shady like, like it's a fuckin' handshake.”

“Oh.”

>

#rest in peace #madwife #mad wife #mad sweeney x laura moon #mad wife fic

[calebswitching]

past lives - Mateo/Caleb

When: Monday, August 19

Summary: During the mark-swap event, Mateo discovers that Caleb has been emailing with his ex.

@dommateolopez

Caleb had been exceptionally quiet for a couple of days. It started on Mark's birthday, when Caleb kept thinking about him every time he wrote the date on an assignment, but it was days later now and he was still out of sorts. And he kept itching to email Mark. So he waited until Mateo was busy, and pulled it up on his phone. Unfortunately, he must have misjudged, because Mateo walked in two minutes later, and Caleb quickly tried to hide his phone.

Mateo had noticed the change in Caleb's behavior, but he assumed it stemmed from the anxiety of the mark change, so he didn't push the other man to discuss it. However, when he noticed him hide his phone in a hurry, he frowned, not even thinking before leaning over to look at the screen. "Mark?" he asked, his brows lifting. "I hope that's not the same Mark I'm thinking of."

Caleb blanched and turned off the screen before sliding the phone in his pocket and out of sight.  "....No?" Shit, no one was supposed to see! He would normally just do this in his own room. He swallowed and looked down. Caleb knew he was supposed to be the Dominant here, that was why he was in Mateo's suite, but the moment Mateo had spoken, every ounce of dominance that Caleb had been able to muster vanished. He knew he was in trouble.

He frowned deeper, moving to sit next to Caleb and resting a hand on his shoulder. “That isn’t a very reassuring answer, hermanito,” he said, squeezing his shoulder lightly.

Caleb cringed at the look Mateo gave him and shrank back into the couch.  "It's not a big deal," he protested, but even to his own ears it sounded weak. "... Please don't tell Nick? Or- or Eric, or... Anyone. Please, Sir."

“Hermanito, you know I can’t promise that,” he said quietly. “Nick is my claim, and Eric will be yours. Can you please explain to me why you’re still communicating with him?” he asked, keeping his tone calm and warm.

Caleb scooted back away from Mateo to the edge of the couch and pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around his knees and pressing his face into his forearms.  "They can't know.  Please, Sir.  Please.  They'll be so mad."  It was extremely obvious in this moment that no matter what their marks were supposed to be for the event, at his core Caleb was a sub, and as soon as his composure was broken he reacted to Mateo as a sub reacts to a Dominant.  "It's just emails.  Just.. just the last month or so.  It's not a big deal."

Mateo sighed and let Caleb have his space, but he did reach over to set one hand on his back, rubbing slowly. “You didn’t explain to me why,” he pointed out after a moment. He knew he wasn’t exactly acting as a sub but this clearly called for him to slip back into his normal role.

Caleb grimaced and didn't look up.  He knew what that sigh meant.  He was disappointing.  He was difficult.  He was too much work, and he wasn't cooperating, and he was frustrating for everyone around him.  His stomach  felt like it was twisting into knots.  "I'm sorry," he mumbled.  "I... I don't know.  I just wanted to talk to him."

His hand moved from Caleb’s back to his chin, gently moving the switch’s face so he could look into his eyes. “Hermanito, you understand why that’s concerning to me, don’t you?” Mateo asked quietly. He didn’t want Caleb to feel attacked for this - he just needed him to understand why this was not a very good choice.

When Caleb looked up at Mateo, following his gentle direction, his face displaying raw, unfiltered emotion.  He couldn't keep it away anymore.  He was awash in a sea of shame and guilt and fear and sorrow and desperation.  "It's... it's not like I'm.. dating him.  I'm not going back to Texas.  I'm just... just talking.  I miss him."  He knew how that sounded, and he grimaced, pulling away from Mateo's hand so he could look down at the floor.  God, he was pathetic, wasn't he?

He supposed he could understand why Caleb might miss him. It was all he’d known when it came to relationships. “What do you miss about him?” As much as Mateo wanted to order Caleb to never message that... sorry excuse for a Dom again, he knew a gentler approach would be needed.

Caleb shrugged and rested his chin on his knee.  "He wasn't all bad," he said quietly.  "...He was funny.  When he emails me... They still make me laugh.  And..."  He turned his face away from Mateo so he couldn't see the tears that felt like they were coming.  "He misses me.  He... he hardly ever sends angry messages anymore.  And... he was so happy to hear from me.  Said he misses me and he still- still loves me."  His voice cracked at the end.  He hadn't talked about Mark like this with anyone.  He'd talked about the pain, and why he'd left.  He hadn't talked about why he'd stayed for five years.

His hand came up to the back of Caleb’s neck, fingertips lightly running over the ends of his short hair. “I’m not surprised he misses you. It would be impossible not to miss you,” he murmured. “I know that all sounds wonderful. But I want you to think about something you said. He hardly sends angry messages anymore,” Mateo quoted, pausing to see if Caleb would say anything.

Caleb shook his head.  "I know, I know, it's- God, it's so stupid, I'm such a fucking idiot.  I know he- he mistreated me.  And I still miss him.  How pathetic is that?  I- I used to get so mad at him.  And I miss him anyway, I miss his jokes and- and the stuff we used to talk about, the stupid inside jokes and the way he could be sweet sometimes..."  Caleb covered his face with both hands.  "He wasn't all bad," he insisted.

“You’re not an idiot,” Mateo said firmly, squeezing his neck gently. “You were with him for years. It makes sense that you miss him. But hermanito... you cant keep clinging to what you had. You know now it was unhealthy and not good, and continuing to speak with him might not be the best idea. He doesn’t seem like the type to let go.”

Caleb shook his head again, but not enough to dislodge Mateo's hand.  He didn't want Mateo to stop touching him.   "It's not hurting anyone," he insisted weakly, even though he knew it wasn't a good enough excuse.  He knew he shouldn't be doing it.  Why else would he have hidden it?   "He's been emailing me... since I left.  Once or twice a week.  And I... I didn't say anything back until a few weeks ago, but I just...  I don't know.  I don't know what I was thinking.  I hate that I miss him so much."  He was trembling, trying desperately not to cry in front of Mateo.

“It’s hurting you,” he pointed out quietly. Mateo let out a soft breath, shifting on the couch to be closer to him, his arm sliding more fully around the other man. “Can you explain to me why you answered him the first time?”

Caleb shook his head.  He couldn't explain it.  He didn't know why.  "I just... He... he sounded...  He wasn't angry, but he was upset.  He said he just wanted to know that I was okay.  But... he'd said that before.  Lots of times.  I.. I don't know why it was different.  I just..  Fuck.  Fuck fuck fuck, I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry.  Please don't tell anyone."

“Caleb. You’re not an idiot,” he said again, his tone a bit more firm this time. “I won’t tell anyone. For now. If I find out this is continuing though, I’m not holding my tongue. You have something beautiful growing with Eric and Maverick. They’re your future, hermanito. I’m not saying you’ll be able to forget the feelings you have for him overnight, but they will fade. I promise.”

Caleb shrank into himself at Mateo's harsher tone.  But he listened, and he nodded, because he knew Mateo was right.  He couldn't keep doing this.  He shouldn't.  But it was so hard.  After a second, Caleb turned towards Mateo, but couldn't bring himself to meet the Dom's eyes.  Instead, he looked down at his own hands in his lap.  "Thank you, Sir.  I... I know I don't deserve to ask for anything right now, but... can.. can you hug me?  Please."

He didn’t reply right off - he just pulled Caleb onto his lap, hugging the switch to his chest. “There is nothing I can think of that would make me think ‘oh my brother definitely doesn’t deserve a hug.’ Well. Murder probably. Making me eat coconut. Conspiring with Nick to drive me batty,” he mused, trying to make Caleb laugh.

Under normal circumstances, Caleb would have laughed at that, but right now he barely managed a weak twitch of a smile.  He leaned into Mateo, laying his head on the Dom's shoulder.  "I'm sorry," he whispered.  "Do I....  do I have to be punished, Sir?"

He slid his hands over Caleb’s back slowly, trying to soothe the switch. “No. You don’t have to be punished for this, hermanito. But if I find out you’re still communicating with him that might change,” he warned.

Caleb nodded, accepting Mateo's decision.  He knew that he'd already asked a lot just getting Mateo agree not to say anything to Eric or Nick, so he had been prepared to accept a punishment without arguing, but he relieved he didn't have to.  "I don't understand what it hurts," he said quietly.  "Just talking to him.  I'm not going back to Texas."

“If Nick or Noah had someone in their lives that hurt them like Mark hurt you, would you want them speaking to that person?” he pointed out, keeping one hand stroking over his back. “He might not be able to physically hurt you, but he can mentally. Having him in your life doesn’t seem healthy at all.”

Caleb sighed softly.  "No, Sir.  I wouldn't want them talking him.  ...But...  I don't know what to do, Sir.  I miss him.  I hate that I miss him so much.  I still care about him.  I hate that he's hurting.  He hasn't.... I've found Eric and Mav, he doesn't have anyone."

“It’s not your responsibility to help him move on. Especially not if it takes a toll on your own mental health. The thing to do is not speak to him. Change your email. Don’t even read his messages. He doesn’t deserve to have you in his life, hermanito,” he said, trying to keep his tone under control but god, he needed Caleb to stop communicating with the bastard who had hurt him so badly.

Caleb shook his head and finally pulled back from Mateo's embrace.  He sat back, putting his hands in his lap and looking down at his knees.  "It doesn't feel right, just cutting him out completely.  But I'll do it, Sir.  I'll block his email address.  I just feel bad about it. I think... I think he didn't realize, a lot of the time, how difficult he was.  Even when he punished me, I think he really thought he was being a good Dominant."

He laid his hand on Caleb’s back again lightly. “That’s not your problem to remediate, hermanito. That’s something he needs to realize on his own.”

"Yes, Sir," Caleb said softly.  He had a sudden desire to go back to his room and be alone, but he couldn't do that.  Not until Thursday.  Which reminded him... "Sorry.  I'm not supposed to be calling you Sir.  I'm sorry, I forgot, I wasn't thinking about the event..."

He squeezed the back of Caleb’s neck lightly. “It’s all right, hermanito. You needed to be back in your role, I completely understand. It’s what makes you feel comfortable after all. And I’m here to serve you and be what you need.”

Caleb nodded but didn't look up, but hearing Mateo say he was here to serve him made his stomach clench uncomfortably.  "Can I-"  He cut himself off after a second thought about the question he was going to ask, and shook his head.  He couldn't ask Mateo to let him be submissive for a while, it defeated the purpose of the event if they just flipped roles just because Caleb felt like it.  Mateo had already given him a reprieve.  The desire to go hide in his room was increasing.

He raised his eyebrows at the cut off question. “Finish your question, please,” he requested gently. Mateo wasn’t about to deny his hermanito much - even if they weren’t in this event, he didn’t think he would be able to.

Caleb shook his head.  "I can't.  I'm supposed to be a Dominant until Thursday I can't just... give up.  I can't ask you to let me.  It's not right.  ...You let me be submissive for a little while, that has to be enough."

Every time Caleb did something like this, he hated Mark a little more for making him think he couldn’t ask for what he needed. Mateo gently took Caleb’s chin in his hand, looking into his eyes. “What do you need, Caleb?”

Caleb looked up at Mateo for a moment, then grimaced and shook his head.  "It's nothing, I'm fine."

His grip on Caleb’s chin tightened. “Caleb. I expect you to answer truthfully. So please try that again.”

Caleb winced both at the tighter grip and the sharper tone.  It was like it went right to the core of him.  It didn't matter that he was supposed to be the Dominant and that he didn't want to ask Mateo to mess up the event, because as soon as Mateo used that voice, the Dom voice, Caleb basically rolled over and showed his belly.  "I was going to ask if I could be submissive to you for a while, Sir," he said, looking chagrined.  "I'm sorry, Sir."

There it was. He leaned in to kiss his forehead, his fingers stroking lightly over Caleb’s chin. “Don’t be sorry for asking for what you need. Why don’t you kneel by me for a while, hermanito? Rest your head on my lap?” He suggested.

Caleb looked pained, and curled in on himself almost imperceptibly.  "I'm not supposed to," he protested weakly.  He wanted it so badly.  He wanted to submit and make everything else go away.  He couldn't handle this.  He couldn't handle the world, or Mark, or any of this, and he just wanted the peace and mental quiet that came from submitting.  But it felt like he was cheating.   It felt like he was being bad, and Caleb couldn't handle that either.  "Are.. are you sure it's okay?  To take a break from the event?"

“You’re supposed to be acting as a Dom with a submissive. To take what you need from that submissive and trust they will do their best to fulfill those needs. That’s exactly what’s going to happen,” he assured him, squeezing the back of his neck again, hoping to comfort him.

Caleb frowned, because he really wasn't sure that that applied to him kneeling for Mateo and very clearly submitting, but he nodded.  He didn't have the mental wherewithal to argue right now.  He slid off the couch and onto his knees, and then shuffled until he was facing Mateo, his hand in his lap and his head bowed.  It felt marginally better.

He sighed mentally in relief when Caleb moved to kneel in front of him. Mateo leaned back against the couch, slowly carding his fingers through the switch’s hair and just letting him relax where he was, hoping this would help.

Caleb leaned his head into Mateo's hand, but otherwise stayed perfectly still, his eyes on the floor.  He was so tense, it was obvious from the way he wasn't even fidgeting like he would have done if he was only nervous.  He knew he needed more than this, but he was so reluctant to ask.  He wasn't even sure what would be okay for him to ask for in this situation.  He felt hamstrung and it was killing him.  "Sir?" he said in a small voice after a few minutes, without looking up.  "Is it okay if I..."  He trailed off and swallowed, then tried again.  "I don't know what it's okay for me to ask for."

Mateo felt a little more at ease himself as he just sat there with Caleb kneeling for him. But he leaned up a bit, looking down at the switch. “You can ask me for anything, hermanito,” he assured him.

Caleb grimaced, because that didn't help him narrow it down, and he really didn't feel like a lot of his normal options were on the table.  "I need to make my brain stop and it won't," he said finally.

This time he couldn’t stop the sigh he let out, running his fingers through Caleb’s hair. “Go into the spare room, take off your shirt and kneel by the bed. I’ll be there in a moment,” he said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Caleb nodded without looking up. "Yes, Sir." He stood and headed to the spare room, where he'd been sleeping, and pulled off his shirt and dropped it on his bag. He knelt on the floor by the bed just as he had in the living room, with his hands in his lap and his head bowed.

He waited until Caleb had moved into the spare room before getting up to retrieve a couple of water bottles from the kitchen, then a thin silk rope from his own room. Mateo sat on the bed, resting a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “I’m going to tie a harness onto you, hermanito. Then your arms. From there, we’ll see how you feel. Okay?”

Caleb stayed perfectly still, his posture straight and his head bowed, even as Mateo entered the room. "Yes, Sir," he answered softly. "Thank you, Sir." He felt guilty for asking for this when he wasn't supposed to, but so grateful for Mateo's help.

He sent up a hopeful prayer that Sue hadn’t bugged the rooms somehow before kneeling in front of Caleb so he could begin tying the ropes around him, his work steady and methodical, the line of knots perfectly even across Caleb’s chest.

Caleb watched Mateo for a moment, then just closed his eyes. He didn't need to see what was going on. He just needed to stay still until Mateo moved him. The rope was soft against his skin, it had to be silk. It felt really nice. He hadn't had ropes on him in a while. As it started to wrap around him, containing him, he felt himself starting to relax.

He finished off the chest harness easily, then moved behind the other man to start tying his arms. Mateo took his time, lining up the knots perfectly from shoulder to wrist, making sure they were just tight enough so Caleb wouldn’t be able to ignore them.

Caleb kept his eyes closed as Mateo worked, but it was comforting to hear and feel his movement and know that he was close. He let Mateo move and position his arms without any resistance. The ropes were right, certainly tight enough that Caleb couldn't move his arms at all, but they didn't pinch or constrict any vulnerable places. It wasn't a surprise, Mateo was an experienced Dom, of course he knew what he was doing. By the time Mateo finished, Caleb felt far calmer than he had ten minutes ago. He felt safe and contained, and he knew Mateo would stay with him and take care of him.

He stood once he was finished, moving in front of Caleb and running his fingers through his hair. “Feeling better, hermanito?” He asked softly, hoping the bondage itself would help ease Caleb’s anxiety.

Caleb opened his eyes again when Mateo spoke, looking up at his brother in law.  "Yes, Sir," he said softly.  He leaned forward to rest his forehead on Mateo's thigh.  "May I stay like this a while?  If... if you want to sit on the couch or something, I can move, if you help me up... Please?"

"We can certainly do that. I have a couple episodes of Flip or Flop I need to catch up on," he said with a little laugh. Mateo helped Caleb to his feet, leading him out into the main room. He kept a steadying hand on the switch's back as he got back down onto his knees before settling himself next to him on the couch.

Caleb smiled a little at that, and let himself be helped up.  He could probably stand on his own, but it was easier with Mateo steadying him.  He walked back out to the living room, and then knelt next to the couch, again appreciative of Mateo's guiding hand on his skin.  "Thank you, Sir," he murmured as Mateo sat next to him.  Caleb kept his eyes down on the floor, trying to be small and unobtrusive.  He didn't want to be a bother to Mateo, who hadn't signed up for this.

He leaned over to press a kiss to the top of Caleb's head. "I like taking care of people I love, hermanito. You don't have to thank me," he murmured against his hair before sitting up. Mateo flipped the TV on, his free hand moving to run through the switch's hair as the episode played.

Caleb nodded  and tipped his head into Mateo's hand, but didn't otherwise move.  It helped, being bound, because it meant that he couldn't move from where Mateo wished him to be.  He stayed as still as possible, and that helped too.  It eased the whirling in his mind, quieted things down.  He was good.  There was nothing he should be doing.  He was being good.  Worries and fears still flashed through his mind, thoughts of Mark, the messages he'd received, the one he wanted to send but couldn't.  Thoughts of Mateo and how it must be annoying to be saddled with Caleb for a week, when Caleb couldn't even manage to be a Dominant when he'd explicitly agreed to do it.  Some switch he was.  But at least Caleb wasn't panicking.

#mateo #TL to last monday #during the event

[allthelittlethingsihavetosa-blog]

#RunLilPipesRun {Riggs Solo @HardGuytoKill}

-Piper was one of my closest friends before all of this went down, who was I kidding she was closer than that. If we were going to delve deep into the realm of relationships, she was nearly the mother of my child. That was if everything had gone according to plan but god or whoever it was that was in charge of greater things didn’t fuck up constantly. We were happy once, really happy. My world revolved around keeping her happy and I did a really good job at it. Flowers, chocolates, the whole nine yards but once we were both out of the academy and working for her father that’s when things started to change. Little things in the beginning, he’d change our shifts so we would work opposite one another and then the arguments would happen. Try as I might she would get under my skin so quickly I would lash out with words first, then came my fists. At first it was the occasion smack to the face, then came something harder till she couldn’t hide the bruises on her with makeup. Those were the moments I cringed and yet a deeper part of me reveled in my handy work. The red came in instantly, followed by the hints of purple tinge slowly rising to the surface. It was perfection. Soon I learned to smack her around in other places that were less likely to be seen, of course she fought back and fuck me if that didn’t get my motor runnin’. She had this way of reacting in just the right way, of coming back at me with her own fists that would drive me crazy. I ended up with a couple bruises of my own but damn she looked good giving them.

Over the next few years she pushed herself away, always coming back when she needed the Riggs lovin’ which let’s be honest she needed quite often. The girl was a slave to my cock by the end. No matter what her father did to seperate us the love she felt for me deep down still was there, I wondered if it would always be there. I remember the night the day Deputy Chief Rowland came to me asking if I had a second to discuss something privately, of course I thought it was all business, maybe I was finally caught on a few violations. Yet by the time he had finished speaking I sat there in complete awe of the man, he had some balls I would give him that. His plan was to take out our current Chief, Piper’s father, and then step in as his replacement. He didn’t care how it happened or if he lived or died. I don’t even think that I blinked as his plan continued on, a group of ex military would step in and commit a few crimes that he would assign to either Piper or myself so he could control the outcome. Then he eventually would have a shootout ensue, something that would draw Chief Hart to the front line, while still making sure Piper would be off duty that day. She was entirely too smart, she’d take a small lead and build a whole case around it. Finding the perp within record time. She had her dad’s smarts and nose for finding things, but thankfully her mother’s looks.

One would have thought that given our past maybe I would have given some time to think this over, maybe mull it over in my head a few days. But there was none of that. The fact was, once Piper cut me off all together I was beyond annoyed. She fueled the anger deep down in my gut that once I added liquor to the mix only exploded ten times brighter. I hated her, down right loathed the woman I once swore to always protect. Our plan moved along according to plan, night by night until Piper’s father, our Chief’s last night on earth crept forward. It was brilliant to watch everything come to light. Two men  had taken refuge in an abandoned motel, the room lite with nothing but the glow of one light. Police cars surrounded every exit, making a circle out front to keep them locked in while SWAT took the back to start their breach. All they needed was a single nod, the single to start the bullets flying. I wasn’t sure how many men we had on our side but damn when it started it seemed like everyone was gunning for Chief Hart. There was only one shots that counted, mine. Of course he went out being a hero, Swan got in my way. If she ever learned where the shot that killed him came from she would never forgive me, everything else maybe with time she would but this, this she would never ever get over. It took longer for them to set everything up then it did for him to hit the floor, one shot and he was down but they littered his body with bullets just to cover it up. The officers who weren’t involved took out Deputy Chief Rowland’s men instantly, they barely made it out the front door before they hit the ground.

Then once the tape was wrapped around the site  and the numbers were being laid beside each and every bullet casing, I saw her. She already knew what happened before she burst through the officers that tried to hold her back. Not because it was a crime scene, but because they were sparing her the pain of seeing her father on the ground. It was finally Swan who found her, I imagine it was  him who told her what happened judging by the tears that spread as she dropped to her knees and placed our once decorated Chiefs head into her lap. Something about the way she looked, her sorrow and the way her voice shook as she talked to her father make me look the other way before I left completely. There was shit I needed to do elsewhere, a case that needed to be sorted or some shit. Fuck a bottle with my name on it. I could handle everything except that. No matter how pissed, or fucking mad she made me, I couldn’t stand the way she looked when she was really upset. When her heart was breaking that was when Piper cut through all the anger that boiled deep down inside me and a large part of me wanted to run back and take her into my arms. Tell her everything I had done and accept whatever punishment she saw fit. Those thoughts lasted all of two seconds before I was thought of a fight or just something she had done that drove me fucking batty before I was ready to wring her fucking neck again.

Flash forward to now, she was the one we were hunting. The plan was originally for her to die at the crime scene but somehow she refused to and pulled through. She either had a horse shoe up her ass or god himself blessed her. Then came our next attempt, we payed off a few nurses to make an untraceable cocktail so slip into her IV. Basically to make it look like her heart gave out in her sleep or something to that aspect. It really didn’t matter. Apparently our now Deputy, sorry Chief Rowland wanted to clean up shop and Piper was already asking too many questions. But I’ll be damned if both the nurses failed apparently they couldn’t follow through or weren’t alone long enough in the room with her. Dumbasses is what they were. I hated cleaning up useless messes, they were paid good fucking money to do this shit and they would be dealt with accordingly later. I had two men sent up the back stairs to search for her once we learned she had slipped security, two others went up the front while the remainder of the force I brought went about in plain clothes to watch the front and side doors. She’d be found, she had to be. By now I was sure she knew more than any of us realized. She knew that I set her up at the girls house, anyone could have seen it. That drug fiend of a father loved his wife and kid, he’d never put them at risk with a gun in the house, especially with Piper around she’d lay him out flat plain and simple. I’d paid that fucker to take her out and he fucking failed at this. Needless to say he was taking out and given the high of a lifetime that night. There was no chance he would be waking from it, god help his kid, she was a mess hopefully she didn’t follow in his footsteps.- DID YOU ASSHOLES FIND HER? She leaves we are all at risk, you realize that?  He said bring her in!

Frustrated anger now filled every ounce of me, I swore I could smell that damn perfume she wore on the air. Maybe it was my mind fucking with me as I pulled my phone out and left a quick message on her answering machine, quickly lifting my hand in the air and circling it to round up the boys. Piper’s house was next on our tour. Maybe we could catch her there. She must have torn some stitches on her way out of the hospital, add in the blood loss and the drugs still in her system. She really only could have left by taxi. Stupid Bitch. That was one thing Piper always failed to do, think two steps ahead of herself, she barely thought one step. By the time we made it to her step and unloaded from the truck it was obvious she was here, the blood covered the stairs and the door was wide opened. She had changed her bandage and moved around her house collecting what little clothing she could, gathered her back up glock as well as her badge and a few other necessities. I grinned darkly, she found my note, read it a few times judging by the bloody fingerprints on the edges. She was scared and running. Just the way I wanted her to be. I ran back out the door pushing a few of the men out of my way to glance at the rocks, desperate to make sure we didn’t just destroy her tracks as we rolled in. Slowly bending down I grinned, glancing over my shoulder- She went east. Grab up some more weapons and supplies, I’ll start heading that way now and we’ll meet up about twenty miles out to make a plan. Stick to channel 3 to communicate. She’s ours soon, this time no mistakes

#PiperHart #FuckinRiggs #sls #SLbyPiper

[bluboothalassophile]

Crash the Wedding...

RobRae week should be relabeled DickRae week, the tag is too generic. There are so many Robins! Anyways, it’s not DickRae shipworthy, but it does have DickRae in it, so I hope you enjoy it.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Raven was used to the crazy shit Robins could get themselves into. She had ample expierence with it, and she didn’t really know all the Robins.

She knew Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian like the back of her hand. Duke had rescued her on a rare occasion she was mad enough to go get drunk because of something stupid her boyfriend did; she was surprised she wasn’t an alcoholic  because of Jason to be honest. She did not know Stephanie; though that was changing as Jason’s little sisters had decided to take over their guest room and make it a guest room. And Raven could honestly say she had never met Helena Wayne; Earth 2’s stranded Robin turned Huntress until such a time she could return to her Earth.

Which was why, this fine May, Saturday, morning she was surprised to open her door to find two Robins there, and looking desperate.

Raven’s hair was a mess, she had her toothbrush in her mouth, and Jason’s shirt was hanging hapherouzly off of her shoulder, plus her bikini panties had Bite Me written on the ass. Thankfully, Tim and Helena could not see that part of her attire, as she held her cup of tea and looked between the two troubled Robins.

“You wake up Jason, I’ll skin you both alive as I send you to hell,” she warned tiredly as she just stepped aside for the only two Robins who seemed to understand what a door was and how it functioned.

“Rae… we need your help!” Tim gasped, Raven nodded tiredly as she walked to the kitchen sink and spat out the toothpaste before wiping her lips with a towel.

“With what?” she sighed.

“Told you we came to the right place for help,” Tim said smugly.

“Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne I am exhausted so no games,” she warned.

“We can’t find Dick!” Helena hissed at her.

“Did you try Blüdhaven, he lives there you know,” she yawned. Jason’s fucking nightmares had kept her and Jason up for the past month, and now it was May first, the first day he had slept in a week and she was about to follow him again. Now there was this! Fucking Bats.

“He said he’s getting hitched.” Tim held a note out to her which had her taking it as she scanned it over then casted a silencing spell as she started swearing in every language she knew and had picked up from Jason.

“So will you help us out?” Helena said.

“Gimme two minutes,” she said as she stalked into her room, opening a portal so she didn’t give into the temptation to slam doors and wake Jason. Grabbing a pair of leggings she pulled them on, brushed her hair, leaned over Jason’s sleeping form as she pressed her lips to his temple then she left her sleeping boyfriend on their bed. She picked up her purse, her keys, and pulled on her shoes as she walked to Helena and Tim, grabbed their wrists.

“We find him, you two might want to put a tracker in him after this,” she warned.

Helena just blinked as Raven dragged the two after her, her empathy latched onto the robin she knew so well and she walked out into a casino in Atlantic City, there was some floozy draped on Dick’s arm as he drunkenly laughed.

“Rounds for everyone!” he cheered.

“Oh God,” Helena said.

“I…” Tim seemed baffled. Raven glared as she folded her arms and stalked forward.

“Richard,” she snarled, and suddenly the taller man was sober as his eyes landed on her.

“Rae!?” he squeaked and she grabbed his ear as she yanked him down to her level.

“Hey! Hands off my fiancé!” the girl squealed.

“Back off!” Raven snarled. Which had the floozy squealing as she scrambled back from Dick and her.

“Rae! I can!” he started.

“Are You Out Of Your Fucking Mind Richard John Grayson!?” she demanded as she marched with his ear in hand towards his sister and brother. “Seriously! Get dumped at the altar and you then turn around to marry the first gold digging bimbo you find! If I didn’t know better I would think I was dealing with Bruce Wayne! I mean seriously! Will you not learn!”

“Rae?” Tim said.

“Zip it Timbo!” she snapped.

“You have been around Jay too long,” Helena said.

“I am sleep deprived, caffeine deprived, and in empathy hell, but if you want to test me Helena Wayne I can, and I will kick your ass to hell and back,” Raven warned. She summoned a portal as she walked with her three Robins to Gotham, into Wayne Manor.

“She’s scary,” Helena whispered.

“She’s harmless,” Tim defended.

“Dick! What is the matter with you!?” Raven shouted as she whirled on him. “No, you don’t talk,” she warned him when he opened his mouth. “Not Even Jason Would Do Something This Stupid! Seriously! You’re an asshole! And I swear to Azar if I find you doing something this stupid again I will sic Kori on your ass. Now if you three idiot Robins will excuse me I am tired! Tim, keep an eye on your idiot brother.”

“Which one?”

She leveled a baleful glare on Tim who shrunk a little under her gaze as he sheepishly smiled. “Yes ma’am!” he squeaked.

“I am going to bed. Helena, a pleasure meeting you, you should join Stephanie, Cass and I on our next Bat bitching night,” Raven said.

“Oh, so that’s real?” the woman mused.

“Very.”

“Birds of a feather, must stick together I take it?” Helena said as she held her hand out, and Raven shook it.

“No, more like Batshit Batty Bats will drive us insane if we don’t hang out,” Raven sighed.

Helena laughed and Raven glared at Dick and Tim as she stalked through a portal to her room again.

Jason roused a bit for her.

“Rae?” he yawned.

“Sleep,” she whispered as she pulled off her pants again and crawled into bed beside him.

“Where were you?” he murmured.

“Dealing with your idiot brother?” she answered tiredly.

“Which one?” he breathed.

She didn’t answer as she drifted off and pulled his arms around her as she pressed against his chest for warmth.

#bluboothalassophile #fanfic #one shot #calm in the storm #robrae week 2018 #raven #timothy drake #helena wayne #richard grayson #jason todd #jayrae #redrae #raex

[ollyarchive]

Olly Alexander on harnessing the power of sexual fantasy in pop

The Years & Years frontman talks about owning his queer sexuality in the mainstream and writing a twisted disco album about ‘holy wood’

Owen Myers

9 March 2018

“It’s like my Rihanna Loud era,” declares Olly Alexander, before breaking into a laugh. The Years & Yearsfrontman is referring to his cropped curly hair, which is freshly coloured to the hue of a nice Merlot. It’s a cold February evening, and he’s puffing on a roll-up while huddled in the fire exit doorway of a Camden venue. His new dye job has to be kept under wraps, he explains, until its official unveiling in the band’s new video. “It’s so stupid,” Olly says with an eye roll. He then flashes me a grin, suggesting that this moment of starry subterfuge is not entirely unwelcome.

Olly Alexander really likes being a pop star. He says that it’s full of “fairytale” moments, like when his Years & Years earnings enabled him to buy his mum a house, or when he and his ex-boyfriend, Neil Milan (formerly of Clean Bandit), became embraced as British pop’s new golden couple. After winning the BBC Sound poll in 2015, Years & Years’ earworm synth pop was everywhere. They had an inescapable number one single, “King”, and their album Communion was the fastest selling debut that year from a signed British band. Olly says that there are downsides to the tabloid headlines and Twitter trolls that come along with being “a public gay man” – a phrase that he puts in self-deprecating air quotes. But right now, those pressures feel far away, as he prepares to change into a bright pink boiler suit and play to a boozed-up Saturday night crowd, at an Annie Mac-curated showcase. Or, as he put it on Twitter earlier today: bring his “gay agenda” to The Roundhouse.

Years & Years’ great new single, “Sanctify”, contrasts lurking vocals with an ecstatic synth-fuelled chorus, and is as unapologetic as any of Olly’s pithy social media posts. He was newly single when he wrote the song, and reading Andrew Holleran’s 1978 chronologue of gay desire, Dancer From the Dance, had got him thinking about a couple of hookups he’d had with straight-identifying men. “It would always be under darkness,” he says. “It had this added layer of eroticism because it was somewhat forbidden. But (being with me) was a window where they could be themselves, and I felt responsible not to fuck them up.” Those conflicting feelings come through in evocative lyrics about obscuring masks and sinful confessions, with a climax that’s about as on-the-nose as chart pop gets. “I sanctify my sins when I pray,” says Olly, quoting the chorus’s payoff. “What do you do what you pray? You get on your knees. So is it a sexual baptism?” He laughs. “I was just like, ‘There’s a lot to work with here.’”

Years & Years are a three-piece, but the other two members, Mikey Goldsworthy and Emre Türkmen, tend to hunker down behind synths and let Olly take centre stage. His soul-searching lyrics give the band’s maximalist pop its heart, with a singing voice that pierces through a constellation of synths. Their videos bring acts which are often shrouded in darkness into the light, showing the singer cruising in a dank car park, or at a pansexual orgy. The new “Sanctify” visual riffs on dom/sub culture, with an elaborate sci-fi plot that is a device for Olly to perform “Slave 4 U”-inspired dance moves to an audience of androids. When he was commissioned to write a song for the Bridget Jones franchise, he made it about bottoming. “I have sex, I enjoy sex,” he says flatly. He’s sitting in his cosy dressing room the Roundhouse, which rumbles with bass as Disclosure and Mabel soundcheck next door. “In the past, I think gay men (in pop) have often shied away from being overtly sexual, or being commanding of their sexuality. But I believe that our sexual fantasies are a big drive for us all. Exploring that side of yourself is super empowering.”

In the past year or so, many well-known LGBTQ artists have begun to bring queerness into their music in sex-positive ways. Pop’s boy-next-door Troye Sivan strapped on Tom Of Finland leathers for a back alley moment with well-fluffed trade, Janelle Monáe caressed women’s bare thighs, Fever Ray returned with a concept album about queer kink. For better or worse, Sam Smith is now calling himself a “dick monster”on primetime telly. “Sometimes seeing a man express themselves in an overtly sexual way, especially a gay man, makes certain conservative people feel a bit uncomfortable,” Olly says. “I always wanna keep people a little uncomfortable.”

“I believe that our sexual fantasies are a big drive for us all. Exploring that side of yourself is super empowering” – Olly Alexander

Years & Years are far from the first mainstream British pop act to proudly put gay sexuality at the centre of their music – that’s a lineage that runs from Will Young to George Michael, Pet Shop Boys to Bronski Beat, and beyond. But Olly’s performances are a reminder that mainstream pop can be open to explicit queerness (at least, when it’s embodied in a handsome white cis man). Olly has faith that you don’t have to be “generic to be palatable,” and that “straight guys can hear a song that I’ve written about being fucked by another guy, but still relate.” LGBTQ+ people like me grew up seeing straight culture pretty much everywhere; seeing more of our community thrive is crucial.

Growing up in the Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire, Olly was a flamboyant kid. That got him bullied at school, called a “batty boy” before he was even aware that he was gay, and meant that he retreated into drama lessons. While acting, he felt it was okay – a good thing, even – to be expressive. He always nurtured a passion for music, too; he taught himself how to play Joni Mitchell songs on piano, and obsessed over “Dirrty”-era Christina Aguilera. An early performance at a year six assembly blended intimate songwriting and outré entertainment: Olly played piano and sang lyrics about lost love, while two of his friends did a dance routine.

In his late teens and early 20s, Olly cropped up in whimsical micro-budget indie films like 2011’s The Dish And The Spoon, alongside Greta Gerwig, as well as Gaspar Noé’s Enter The Void, and Skins. But his early experiences at school stayed with him. “Your first encounter with your sexuality is often from people bullying you and calling you the thing that you just pray to god that you won’t be – but deep down suspect you might be,” Olly says. “Well, no wonder we have an incredibly conflicting relationship with our bodies and our sexualities, because we’ve had to experience all of that.”

Reflecting on these difficult early years in his dressing room, Olly speaks openly about his own decade-long experience with depression, and the inadequate NHS provisions for those who are struggling with mental health. LGBTQ+ folks disproportionately struggle with depression and substance abuse, he recognises, and there’s only one UK organisation, London Friend, that caters directly to the specific needs of the queer community. “I’ve been there,” says Olly. “They’re amazing, but they are over-subscribed, with a tiny office, old chairs, and not a lot of money. When you’re seeing that people aren’t getting the help they should be, there’s an issue there.” That’s something he knows from first-hand experience. Last year, Olly fronted a BBC documentary, Growing Up Gay, about young LGBTQ+ people struggling with their mental health. His openness around the subject made him a kind of ambassador for those struggles, and he’s trying to work out how to deal with the “almost daily” DMs he gets from people at their lowest moments. “I feel very privileged that someone is wanting to share that with me, but it’s frightening,” he says. “We’re all in fucking pain, and I don’t know if we’re communicating with each other that well.”

“What do we expect a male pop star to do? As a society, how do we want them to behave or present themselves?” – Olly Alexander

Years & Years’ second album, out later this year, mixes gliding pop melodies with churning bass and twisted disco. The new songs feel more varied and exploratory than Communion, thanks in part to new collaborators like current pop’s minimalist masterminds Julia Michaels and Justin Tranter, as well as Greg Kurstin, who co-wrote “Shine”, Years & Years’ best song to date. The album’s centred around a motif of Palo Santo, a healing incense-like wood that you burn and waft around a room. (Olly dramatises this with hand motions as if he’s conducting an invisible orchestra.) Perhaps Palo Santo, with its power to expel evil spirits, could be a metaphor for the songwriting process? Maybe, Olly says. “But (when writing the album) I was angry about loads of things, particularly men. Palo Santo literally means ‘holy wood’ and I was like, ‘This is fucking perfect.’ Like, thinking that your dick is holy? I’ve known guys like that.”

Years & Years’ renewed vision also extends to creating a futuristic universe for their new music to exist in. That’s an idea that Olly’s idols – “Bowie, Prince, and Gaga” – have embraced, and “Sanctify” is the first part of an interconnected series of “weird, wonderful” videos. It marks the next step for a band aiming to join British pop’s pantheon, at a time when Olly, too, has been reflecting on his place in music. “What do we expect a male pop star to do?” he questions. “As a society, how do we want them to behave or present themselves? If I was asking myself, it would be like, ‘Well actually, I’ve always loved this kind of popstar. Maybe I should just be the pop star I want to see in the world.”

#olly alexander #years & years #yearsandyears #articles #interviews #dazed

[theharellan]

It’s been three years, and I fucking love Solas. Someone help me.

Are you ready for some unabashed Solas love? I sure am.

So three years today I was coming to the end of my first playthrough of Dragon Age: Inquisition. I’d already made a blog for my Inquisitor Cadash (before the game came out, to open up after I beat it), and that was all I was expecting to make.

Then, some bald elf grabbed her hand and helped her close her first Breach. I’d kept up with Inquisition news, and Solas seemed cool, interesting enough. I wasn’t really expecting or prepared for how much I’d come to love him. By Temple of Mythal I’d made a Solas blog, and when I finished on the 22nd I made the finishing touches, and here we are!

I wanted to spend some time talking about what I love about Solas, since there’s a lot of negativity about the character. Rping him I know that kind of negativity (not even criticism, which he very much deserves, just negativity that often completely ignores vast swathes of characterisation) can get very tiring to read and humour. Yes, I know he’s trash, let me tell you why I love him, both in spite of and because of those qualities.

Without further ado, welcome. Welcome to my disorganised rambling essay/list of why I have been writing this loser for three years now:

What first drew me to Solas was his experiences as a Dreamer. I majored in history as an undergrad, one of my favourite things as a historian was reading and reviewing primary sources. You find the truth in them, but only one person’s version of the truth. When Solas spoke of dreaming, he spoke to that knowledge: that history is never one story, and that at Ostagar Loghain could be  hero and a villain at the same time. Both were valid readings, and both were memories that deserved to be remembered. Having a character who spoke to the history nerd in me was very special, I won’t lie.

As the game continued, Solas totally revolutionized Dragon Age lore for me? Even before it started to become obvious that he was more than just an elf who liked napping. Before Solas and Cole the Fade wasn’t a particularly interesting part of the world for me, but how Solas explained the personhood of spirits really affirmed what Dragon Age 2 had started to explore with the nature of Justice/Vengeance and Merrill’s banter.

It was some really beautiful world-building, to slowly pull back the veil (ha) and reveal that our perception of spirits in early games was really misguided.

And once it became obvious he was something more than what he wanted us to think (I had guessed he was related to Fen’Harel- although I had assumed it was something along the lines of Felassan since I had finished TME just before DA:I) it got even better? In DA:O elf lore didn’t really grab me like the dwarves or qunari, or even the mages. DA2 improved with Merrill, and then in DA:I Solas took what Merrill had granted us and ran with it. The lore he introduced was what made me elf trash, honestly. Before I was just kind of like... elf recycling? I loved Merrill, but wasn’t all that interested in Dragon Age elf lore as a concept. Now I am 100% trash and I will rot in this elf garbage dump until the universe ends.

His and Sera’s perspective on the Dalish really jerked me out of the perception of Dalish elves being Perfectly Fallen Elves, which had never been true, but their flaws are much more muted in DA:O and it took several playthroughs before I could really begin to wrap my head around how their behaviour towards Merrill only made matters worse. By listening to Solas and also Sera’s perception of them, it made going back and replaying early games more exciting, as I could see the seeds of issues DA:I would eventually explore. It’s why I enjoy DA:I so much because, imo, it compliments the lore of DA:O and DA2 so well for the most part.

And the lore he eventually brings to Elvhenan? Fantastic. Like I said, I had read TME beforehand, so I was already aware Elvhenan had issues, but revelation that the Elvhen gods were never gods, that their empire was not the perfect thing we had been led to believe? As much as DA:I played up the high fantasy angle more than DA:O and DA2, that revelation was very much a dark fantasy trope, and it fit perfectly with the overall tone in the series whereas before Elvhenan had seemed a little out of place. Empires are shitty by nature, and it was good to see the elven empire was no exception.

All these revelations are, to some extent, introduced or expanded upon by Solas. So I connect a lot of my love for the lore to him, and as a result I’m fond of him for that reason. I’m going to move on, though, because I’m like 800 words in and I haven’t touched upon him as a person lmao.

This one article that I won’t really touch upon for too long, namely because I couldn’t read it all, compared Solas to a fedora-wearer, which is a characterisation that drives me batty. Because Solas is a SJW, for better or worse. He can very easily identify problems in society, and people, and has no problem talking about them, even when it’s inappropriate.

He cares, he cares deeply. He cares even when it’s against his best interests to care.

If you take him with you through the Hinterlands (and beyond) you’ll find he approves when you help people, even people he might disagree with. Should you deliver a flower to Senna’s grave, and invoke Falon’Din’s name when you inform her widower, he approves. He approves even if he knows the Elvhen gods are false, and knows Falon’Din would not spend a second thinking about this poor man’s dead wife.

He cares when you choose to sacrifice the Chargers, and reinforce to Iron Bull that his worth lies only in the Qun. And if you choose to save them, he cares to reassure Bull that he is not a beast, but a person, and an intelligent one.

And whatever your relationship with him is, by Trespasser he decides he cares enough to save you. Even if he thinks your Inquisitor is so terrible he comes close to comparing them to the evanuris (especially Inquisitors he’s unfriendly to who claim to be chosen) he still decides that the south deserves better than what the qunari will give him. Trespasser was not a smart move for Solas, all things considered. He could have pulled out of the south, or left the Inquisitor to die without explanation. But he explains, because he cares enough to know he owes them that much.

None of this excuses what he plans, but how much he cares in spite of what he feels he must do is compelling.

I think one of the most telling things is the stories Solas can recount for you. When you ask him for stories, he tells you tales of Ostagar, or mighty battles, but the little moments he recounts for you are some of my favourite examples of what Solas finds important in the world. Dwarves seeing daylight for the first time, a qunari baker rebelling in a subtle way only she will know. This guy walks the Fade, and could in theory see every moment in history that people might kill to see, but instead comes across a memory of a woman baking and thinks “this is important.”

Stuff like that is, to me, demonstrative about how much Solas is about the people. He has a lot of growing to do when it comes to his perception of... well, everyone, but despite all of this he still does see wonder in really tiny moments. These are things you don’t often see, especially in jaded immortals, and it’s one of my favourite things about getting to know him.

Speaking of Solas’s perception of the modern world, let’s talk about it. It’s flawed as all heck (especially  at the beginning of the game), but it makes total sense.

Waking up in a world where there’s essentially one less dimension, or perhaps half a dimension where there used to be a whole one? That’s not the sort of thing you just get over. Of the ancient elves we have met, all of them have expressed similar struggles. Abelas doesn’t recognise a Lavellan as Dalish, and Felassan only begins to see them as people towards the end of Masked Empire.

That Solas’s perception (that any of these characters) is able to evolve is impressive, imo.

I’m not saying he deserves to be praised for coming to recognise people as people, in case you’re wondering. What I love here is that Solas, that every ancient elf thus far, is allowed a very real reaction to an impossible situation. And what I love is, for as much as the fandom likes to paint him as stubborn, he is more capable of evolving than people give him credit for.

Of all the things to admit you were wrong about, admitting you were wrong about the entire population of Thedas is a pretty big thing to admit. It’s why I do have hope that Bioware will grant him at least a bittersweet happy ending. It’s clear, especially if you befriend him, he does not enjoy what he feels must be done.

And you may ask “then why do it?” to which I usually reply: the name of ‘traitor’ would suddenly be worthy of him, at least in his eyes, if he just turned his back on those he has worked for literal centuries to uplift. So many people try to convince Solas he’s wrong by... telling him what he’s doing is bad, which. It is, but he knows. Put that energy towards showing him how his rebels can live the life they were supposed to get after the evanuris had been toppled, and then, I think, people would start to make some headway in redeeming him.

Often when protagonists are redeemed it is with an appeal to the heart, and not the head. You appeal to their better nature. With Solas I believe redemption lies not in appealing to his better nature, because in a way he’s already using it. Instead, redemption for Solas will come from showing him that his heart is right, but it is his head that is the problem. Hopefully that makes sense? Show him that his people matter, and can be given their freedom, and then a happy ending may come after.

I could go on and on and on about everything I love about him, but I’m realising this is getting long, so maybe dedicating a mini-essay to every character trait was a mistake. I’m going to throw out a couple more, and try to wrap things up!

I love how angry he gets in banter. I’m someone who gets mad when I argue with people about social issues, especially when I otherwise had/have respect for that person, so hearing Solas get legitimately frustrated when arguing with Iron Bull is very relatable for me. I love that he’s allowed to be angry, and allowed to be right, even while being wrong about so much else.

I love his sense of humour, and his laugh. I love that as much as “Chuckles” is considered to be (even by the game) an ironic nickname, one of the first potential lines from him is him snort-chuckling about Varric being involved with the Chantry (at the first time we hear the nickname Chuckles, I believe).

I love that he loves spirits. I love that no matter what path you choose for Cole, he loves and supports Cole. I love that he understands spirit Cole is as much as a person as human Cole, and both are good and worthy of loving, even if Cole is going down a path he cannot fully relate to himself.

I love his lapses-- be it where he comes out looking something of a fool (setting his pants on fire) or just being a nerd in love on his romance path. He’s smooth, but he stumbles.

There’s so much more I could go into, honestly? His fashion sense, his relationships with each individual member of the Inquisition, the tenderness he is capable of, but I’m pretty sure this is getting too long to be worth reading. I may do a part two sometime (maybe next anniversary??) but for now, I hope everyone who somehow managed to read all of this has a better understanding of why I care so much for Solas, and why I’ve been writing him for four years.

I have no idea how many thousands of words I’ve written for Solas over the past 8,133 posts, but I do know this: I love how there’s still things I haven’t been able to explore in my prose, and I love that you guys will be here to explore them with me!

Thank you everyone who has stuck with my Solas for so long? Even after my mental health issues forced me to take a very long hiatus, I was surprised and touched by how many stuck with me. You’re all wonderful, and I hope you have a nice night!

If you could please refrain from any Solas negativity in comments or tags, I’d appreciate it!

#( ooc ) #[ -don't reblog- without permission ! ] #( about me ) #he calls himself Pride ( about ) #( solas meta ) #[ kind of lmao #i took painkillers before i wrote this and they hit half-way through so if it gets more incoherent i am v sorry ]