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Now that GOTG3 is available digitally I am reposting MY (mun's) version of Rocket's backstory that I wrote back in 2019, before we had a MCU canon-- not to be canon to my RPC but just because I wanted to share what I originally came up with. This is written as told by Rocket, and was from a RP where he finally opened up to Peter Quill about where he came from.
Warning: It is emotional and big thanks to the RPer who wrote this with me, @recklessxndrelentless for being so patient with emotionalistic issues boy, Rocket.
Read more below (it's long!)
“Whoa!” Peter ducked as the beer can went flying past him, and he blinked confusedly at Rocket, an incredulous look on his face.
“Hey, it ain’t like I meant to! It’s not nice to throw things at people, either.” He continued to move toward Rocket, stopping when he was next to him before sitting down.
“What’re you doin’ up here, anyway?”
“Drinkin’,” Rocket said, grabbing at the plastic bound six pack at his footpaw, two already removed, one can that was nearly pelted at Peter’s face and the other one between Rocket’s bare feet. It seemed he was sharing.
He was in one of his moods, looking up to the stars at a particular quadrant, one he knew to well. His eyes were a little glossier than usual, and he swallowed hard trying to get his mind off what he was thinking about, maybe get away from thinking about the things that occurred on his home planet, and the special someone he lost
At least he got a straight answer. Peter looked down at the six-pack, pulling one of the cans out of the plastic ring and cracking it open. He knew something was off with Rocket– he’d seen him swallow, and normally he’d at least be chattering about something with him if he were okay.
A few moments of silence, and Peter spoke, softer than before. “What’cha lookin’ at?”
The silence was tense, but even if Rocket didn’t want to be seen getting a surge of sadness from whatever mourning he was feeling, he was fixated on it. He had never really talked to any of the Guardians in depth about his homeworld or what happened. He really wasn’t what you’d call “Nostalgic” but somehow it hit him, and he wanted to let people in… even just a little.
“Over there,” he said, pointing up at a cluster of stars that were barely visible. “it’s the keystone quadrant, which is where I’m from…. this is the closest I been to it since I … left.”
The technical word was ‘escape’ but he didn’t want to make it sound so melodramatic. It WAS a traumatic story, which is why he typically chose to suppress those nightmarish memories.
As Rocket spoke, Peter began sipping his drink. Normally he’d be boisterous, asking what the hell was so interesting about a bunch of stars– but Rocket’s attitude was enough to keep him from being rowdy.
He looked to where Rocket was pointing, squinting slightly at first– he’d looked in that direction numerous times, and never did he think anything was there. But hearing Rocket say that was where he was from, it made sense why he was staring there so intently.
“Oh…” Peter didn’t know what else to say, really– he’d never been good with words. He took a swig of his drink, sighing after he swallowed, and after a few minutes of silence, he spoke again.
“Would you, y’know… ever go back?”
“Nothin’ there for me,” Rocket answered. He then took a heavy drink from his second can, though he wasn’t able to drink much more than that, keeping the half full can in his hand.
“Never wanted to go back. I decimated the facility I was made in… lost the only lady I cared about… not exactly a memory lane I wanna go down,” he said.
He was thinking about it, the deep seated loss that had always been a chip on his shoulder.
Shrugging, Peter moved his arm when Rocket leaned against him, switching the hand he was holding his drink in.
“I dunno, I thought when you said you were from that quadrant that maybe you were homesick. I didn’ realize you meant that… y’know, what happened t’you happened there.”
“No… just missin’ someone,” he replied, taking a smaller sip from his drink.
He didn’t look to that cluster of stars feeling anything but her memory. He’d dealt with so much loss over his life and it’d be unfair to rank them, but losing her was what made him different.
“You know…” he said, gently clearing his throat, “I was created to be something of a living weapon– kinda like what Thanos did with Gamora but more bluntly. No halfway brainwashing with family-like affections, just straight up, rigid scientific engineering with no qualms of how I was treated, and if I didn’t survive I was simply another failure to add to their death count. Gamora was enhanced but with no risk to her life. Not that I’m jealous or nothin’, it is just how different it would be. So many experiments never made it out of there alive.”
“Ah, okay…” He couldn’t blame Rocket, really. Once he’d found out how to tell what direction a certain quadrant was in, he’d often stared toward the direction of Earth, missing his mother. He still felt that pang of hurt in his chest sometimes, but it had gotten better after becoming closer to the rest of the Guardians.
Peter looked back down at Rocket once he started talking, a frown crossing his lips as he listened. “Wish neither of you had t’go through what y’did… by comparison, my life was better. I mean, constantly being told I’d be eaten sounds better’n anything you guys dealt with.”
“Oh there was that too. When I was a bounty hunter my targets were always talkin’ about eatin’ me or skinnin’ me or whatever. That or the prisoners, anyway. You were the first humie… to even treat me even half decent, same for Groot… but when I look up at them stars… I just feel… broken?”
Rocket didn’t know much about love or heartbreak, his heart was full of loss and grief but it all started there, in that quadrant. He took another drink from his can, he was feeling a little miserable talking about it. He though confiding might make him feel better but perhaps the years of suppression were amplified by it.
His body crumpled against Peter, legs curling inwards as he made himself smaller, his tail clinging to his own body, ears folded back, even his toes curled in more, and beer can in hand his arms wrapped over his head. He grit his teeth. Maybe it was just being drunk, but he sobbed dryly.
Out of everything Peter had seen from Rocket, this was the first time he’d seen him this upset. Yes, he remembered just how upset he was over Groot— but it hadn’t been like this.
He was startled when Rocket curled up against him and started sobbing— but while he was terrible at comforting people, he wasn’t just going to sit there. Setting his beer down, he wrapped his arms around Rocket, leaning down slightly so he could hug him properly.
“Hey… hey, it’s okay…” His voice was soft, gentle even. “You’re not broken, Rocket. I know you might feel that way, but you’re not.”
Rocket wasn’t just crying for himself, he cried for his mother, his siblings, the other experiments… Lylla….
It came pouring out of him, for the first time in years, he mourned. He felt so foolish, crying there. He wasn’t going to dump it all on Peter, he couldn’t. Peter wouldn’t understand. Peter never knew any of them.
Rocket set his drink down, so he could at least wipe his eyes, even if it was a little pointless since the tears didn’t stop. He was an emotional mess, it was so indignifying but he couldn’t help it. Any sense of dignity melted away the drunker he was– and even if he was only slightly intoxicated, he felt vulnerable and oddly safe.
He wasn’t going to gush on about it, he was just grateful Peter wasn’t acting weirded out by it, or making him feel more self conscious about his little crisis. Reminiscing on the past wasn’t something that did him any good. He was sensitive about it. Talking in depth was practically impossible, he usually brushed it off in any conversation as if it didn’t bug him– but it DID.
He let Peter comfort him, because he was in no state not to accept it. He felt so much shame for acting like that, but he was so frustrated having dug up those old wounds.
Peter would never be weirded out by Rocket— grief was grief, he’d had his share. They all had. But keeping it in for as long as he had was probably damaging to Rocket, and that, along with him being his friend, was one of the reasons why he was trying his best to comfort him.
He decided to do something he’d done before, which was to gently place one hand on Rocket’s head and stroke him, down to the back of his neck, before moving his hand back to the top of his head. He didn’t know if it was still comforting, but at least he was trying.
“You don’t gotta keep it in. If you wanna talk… well, I ain’t gonna judge.”
“What’s there to tell?” Rocket asked between pathetic sniffles… although it’d be a good opportunity for Peter to ask questions. Rocket didn’t even know where to begin. He didn’t really consider that anyone would want to hear about Halfworld or the facility he was made in. No one probed about it before. Normally he’d probably be better talking about it, not so many tears, but he had done this to himself, thinking so hard about it and letting himself grieve, even before Peter came out, he was upset before he even showed up.
He didn’t fuss about having the other stroking his fur. It had been a long time since he let someone do that.
Peter never really liked asking people about their pasts— it wasn’t just something you asked people, not normally anyway. Meeting people like Drax and Gamora who told him all about themselves not long after they’d met made him more comfortable talking about his own past, but with someone like Rocket, he didn’t want to shove his problems in the other’s face.
Shrugging and continuing to pet Rocket, Peter tilted his head. “Whatever you wanna tell. I’m not gonna judge.”
Rocket tried really hard to stop himself from crying, or at least to get his eyes to stop welling up. “Sometimes I do worry that I’m gonna die and no one is gonna really know anything about me…” Rocket admitted.
“It’s not like I don’t wanna talk about it, I just don’t know how… I mean I aint the kinda person who wants to live in the past or nothin’ but it’s weird when no one knows about it… I just keep it in because I don’t think anyone cares.”
Peter listened, nodding his head while Rocket spoke. He didn’t comment on how Rocket was still crying— he figured he knew that already, and he wasn’t going to make it worse.
“I used t’do that, too. Y’know… for all the shit I talked about Yondu, he coulda been worse. I kept my mom’s death a secret from him for a while ‘til he asked why I was so frantic after he snatched me… almost couldn’t tell him ‘cause I was so upset.”
He sighed softly. “Point is… someone cares. I care. No matter what it is, I care what happened.”
“Well… there was a lot of us in there, bein’ tested on. A lot of my memory is fuzzy about what they all did… it felt like it was never ending, and I don’t even have any idea how long I was in there. I was on so many sedatives and drugs, reality just fazed in and out like some lucid dream. I’d wake up for a moment, my insides just… hanging out as they modified me, I’d wake up another time, my hands were being ripped apart… and even worse things… but never for long. We’d get knocked out, fed through tubes to keep our bodies alive, when they stopped tinkering long enough to let us wake up… and of course it all hurt. Every bit they changed I remember vividly it channeling with pain. They threw us into observation chambers to let us ‘heal’ from the operations… and that’s when I met her… Lylla… in the chamber next to mine. She was like me, but… you know… also different,” he started to describe his time on Half-World best he could.
“We still didn’t know what was goin’ on, but it was like they opened our ‘third eye’ as they call it. We understood what the people were saying when they talked, we could talk to each other, we could understand how all the mechanics worked around us. As our bodies were given a chance to recover we saw what was happening to the other experiments. There was a lot of talk about what the scientists did, the tests they ran, and of course the injections for the subjects that didn’t pass.”
He shuddered a little, remembering how the other experiments would be put down.
Whatever Peter had been expecting to hear… well, it wasn’t quite this. He remembered just how upset Rocket had been when he was drunk and yelled at Drax and Gamora before they saw the Collector, of course, but he didn’t expect that it was worse than what he’d said before.
Having finished his first beer, he reached over and pulled another one out of the plastic, downing about a third of it before he spoke again. “Jesus…”
Somehow he knew that there was more. It was just something in the way that Rocket spoke that told him there was something else he had to say. So instead of saying anything else himself, he was silent again, putting his drink down and watching Rocket. He nodded to show he could keep going, and that he was still listening.
Rocket swallowed hard as he continued the tale…
“We saw what happened when they didn’t like what they saw, so we knew we had t’get out, but the place was pretty air tight on security… so Lylla and I started to devise a plan. I was really hellbent on gettin’ my ma and siblings out too, they hadn’t been altered, but they’re family, so … Durrin’ our tests, we had to fight drones and take ‘em down unarmed. Each test we took, we destroyed them and we’d start very carefully stealing parts. They always scrapped the drones we broke, and each one was supposed to both train and test a different skill… so its not like they’d notice a little something was gone.
Lylla and I started working together to make a micro computer to disable the security and open the cages. It took us weeks but when we were close to done we talked about our plan. We used the computer we made to find the building’s blueprints, and figured out all the access codes and altered the hand scanners so they’d activate from any touch. She suggested we open all the cages and used the chaos as a distraction, that way every test subject, altered or not would have a chance to escape. Her family had already been tested on and disposed, but mine were just in cages, and we were doing so well in the tests we were the only subjects that were still alive that had the alterations done.
I never told her about my family, I didn’t wanna bring her down and remind her of what she already loss, and when we finally opened those cages, we opened the stock cages too… Lylla was about to run for the exit, if we both went, well… I’m sure we would have made it, but I thought if I ran to get my family, she’d go get my family free and we could meet outside somewhere. It caught her off guard, and she followed after me instead. She didn’t even know what I was doing, she just followed… I told her to run, that I could meet her outside when we were free. She said, ‘not without you, we’re in this together.’”
Peter had a feeling– a bad feeling– that he knew where this was going. Somehow he knew that this plan wouldn’t be as good as it seemed.
He continued to listen, and slowly his gaze turned toward Rocket again. Once Rocket said that Lylla was telling him they were in this together, that was when he really knew…
“Rocket…” His voice was quiet, and his eyes showed pity– pity for his friend, and what he went through. “She… didn’t make it, did she?”
“Long story short, no… she didn’t… “ Rocket said softly. He was having trouble telling all the details.
“It was my fault,” he added even softer. “If she wasn’t following me, if I explained what I was up to, something mighta been different…”
He didn’t want to go as far as expressing it was a waste to try and save his family because they saw him as a threat when they were united, but all the talk wore him out already. He just wanted to be done with it, maybe being willing to talk more later, but Peter got the jist of it, he told him more than he had ever discussed before. He could stop there and be alright knowing Peter might understand him a little better.
The End.
#RP repost#rocket raccoon#Rocket#GOTG#guardians of the galaxy#recklessxndrelentless#tw: long post#tw: depression#tw: death#tw: animal cruelty
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Zack Morgenroth
Partner, Lighthouse Management & Media
Though he is now the co-manager of superstar multihyphenates Olivia Rodrigo and Selena Gomez, Morgenroth, 35, says with a laugh that he “didn’t even know this was a job” growing up.
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Before I Turn 40, I Want To…: “Have a day off.”
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Digital Business Cards - A Low-Cost Way to Make an Impact
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Glossier Storm and Dawn
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http://glossier.com/reps/camri message me if you want recommendations 💗☁️
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i was blessed with the opportunity to photograph earth angel @pinkflame666 for @glossier / @intothegloss
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Beyoncé wears (shadow coming soon), Boy Brow in Brown, Body Hero Daily Perfecting Cream, and Perfecting Skin Tint in Dark + Deep
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My first glossier package came today! I’m so in love with this brand they are my absolute favorite!! Using makeup has been great since I’ve been sick with Lyme. The glossier products make me feel glowing and pretty and healthy which ends up being really comforting to me when I’m feeling sick. This isn’t sponsored I just love this brand and want to support it:) @gloss-ier @glossierx @glossiergirls @intotheglossblog
#glossier#glossier products#cloud paint#puff#dusk#boy brow#balm dotcom#stretch consealer#glossier girl#glossier girls#glossier rep#glossier life#skin first makeup second#glossier priming moisturizer#into the gloss#nomakeupmakeup#neutral#makeup#makeup blog#makeup blogger#minimal#minimalism#pastel#millennial pink#blog#beauty blogger#skincare#milk makeup
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ig | twitter | blog | glossier
#philosophy#laneige#korean skincare#korean beauty#pixi beauty#pixi#glossier#glossier girl#glossier pink#glossier love#glossier rep#skincare#beauty#makeup#bblog#beautyblog#beauty blog#bblogger#beautyblogger#beauty blogger
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New product alert! After two years of trial and error, Glossier has released the perfect sunscreen! Be sure to shield your skin from harmful rays + pollution year-round with lightweight, non-greasy, vegan + cruelty free Invisible Shield <3
Shop my link for 20% off! Love you guys :) take care of that beautiful skin!
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Thanks to @glossier's super fast shipping my Invisible Shield is here and I used it today! So far I really like it! It's clear and absorbs right into the skin without feeling greasy or sticky which I love. My face felt soft and had a natural glow to it. I'm going to be wearing this every. single. day to protect my skin. If you want to wear sunscreen but worried about the white cast and stickiness, this is for you! You can get 20% off if it's your first order at glossier.com/reps/ashleyroyer 🌼☉ stay safe sun.
#glossier#glossier pink#glossier rep#spf#invisible shield#skincare#skinprotection#makeup#beauty#discount
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what are ur favorite glossier products
oh ho ho ho, i got you covered!! also, if u wanna purchase anything, u can use my referral link to get 10% off :”) dw it’s not an affiliate code, it’s just that friend link thingy that glossier has set up
things i love
milky jelly cleanser
it’s rose-scented so some ppl might not like it, but god it’s one of the few cleansers that doesn’t break me out and doesn’t leave my skin feeling stripped
it’s like my luxury version of cetaphil lol i use this to make myself feel rly good and pampered, i love it
balm dot com
mango, rose, and birthday are my favs
didn’t like coconut but i just don’t like coconut in general (but my mom wanted it lol) + i hate cherry flavored / scented things so i didn’t bother getting that flavor
boy brow
super natural, love the way it applies and i just repurchased another one! can’t go without it :”)
lash slick
definitely lengthens ur lashes and doesn’t give u raccoon eyes which !! i love !!
might not be for u if ur into the volume rather than the length thing
lowkey wish it was more?? thickening and more volumizing if that makes any sense? but it’s a v v nice natural look and im satisfied
gen g lipstick
hm maybe this doesn’t belong in this category but im sticking it here anyways
love the way it applies and wears (altho i do put lip balm on before applying) but the shade i have (like) is exactly the same color as my regular lips so i can’t say much abt color payoff
im saving up to buy a different shade + im gonna see how that shakes out
things that aren’t worth it
solution
god i have such a beef abt this one
“all skin types” is such a lie
gave me a chemical burn + rashes + worsened skin texture
also i found strange white thread-ish things and when i asked glossier abt it, they were like?? super private abt it and were like “sorry we can’t disclose anything” and i was like ?? just tell me if it’s still ok to use or if smth went bad or ???
lidstar
super patchy, harder to apply, rubs off with ur finger easily when u try to apply w/o the doefoot applicator, and not worth the price :(
regular priming moisturizer
it’s fine but it’s not worth the price
priming moisturizer rich is more worth it imo but even then, you can still find cheaper alternatives, u know?
skin tint
shouldn’t even be called a tint. more like,, A Ghost of bb cream
also very slick imo? i have normal to dry skin, but this still made my face feel and look very slippery and sweaty
i guess that’s the Dew (tm) but im not here for that
things i’m ambivalent on
haloscope
definitely better to rub ur finger on the stick and then apply with ur finger vs rubbing the stick on ur face
oil core has coconut oil in it which may make some ppl break out
idk, it’s nice but i feel like it’s overhyped
cloud paint
wow if haloscope was overhyped, then this one is ultra-hyped
ok maybe im not the target audience here bc im not a blush person (although i love buying blush lmao, i love me some paradoxical idiosyncrasy)
the packaging is cute but it’s impossible to get a tiny amt. it just,,, Globs Out :( feel like i waste more than i use
nice to blend, ok, ok, but,,, idk,,,, miss beam doesn’t look as good on me :(((( miss dusk tho! that color’s probably my fav
but ya i just feel like i had way too many expectations for this one
wowder
i mean, it’s powder. it’s not mind-blowing
i’ve only used powder compacts, but wowder has taught me that i have little patience for loose powders
stretch concealer
very balmy, almost oily? you gotta set this baby or it will slip and slide :( folks with oily skin might not like this as much, idk
lip gloss
i feel like im committing a cardinal sin by sticking this one here, but i gotta face the truth... it’s Clear Lip Gloss. you can find Clear Lip Gloss anywhere else for a cheaper price, and that’s that
it’s a much more stickier and tackier gloss that stays put on ur lips vs a more slippery one, so if ur into that, then this might be a good choice. if ur not, stay away from it
but ya,,,,,, it’s Clear and also i feel like im running thru it so quickly even tho i only use it for Special Occasions (tm)
#god this is such a long answer#i was gonna be a rep and affiliate for glossier but that fell thru#i still have all the products they sent me tho lol#glossier#skincare#beauty#makeup#anon#ask
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Want Glossier but you’re on a budget?
same, but I’m really irresponsible so I have NO control
If you’ve never purchased from Glossier before you can get 20% off when you shop with me! I used my friends code and ended up spending almost $200 for my first order. You also get free shipping on orders of a mere $30.
So here are some good options (20% taken off) give or take tax -
Any Balm Dot Com (I like Coconut) + 2 Cloud Paints (use 2BLUSH 2 for $30) = $33
Perfecting Skin Tint + Lip Gloss = $32
Phase 1 Set - Milky Jelly Cleanser/Balm Dot Com (ur choice)/Priming Moisturizer = $36
Phase 2 Set - Stretch Concealer/Boy Brow/Generation G Lipstick (new lowered price!) = $32
Super Bounce + Haloscope = $40
Mask Duo (usually $40 but w/20% off) = $32
Super Pure + Boy Brow = $36
wow, look at that.
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