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experiment-000 · 3 years

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My Top 10 Ships of 2020

It's been a weird year but I've seen other people doing this. Plus this year I've been way more into gen fics (love a bit of found family especially in clone wars and marvel) than anything shippy. So I genuinely don't know what imma put on here aside from two ships for sure. Sorry this post is super long idk how to do the below the cut thing and I've had this app for 5 years...

10) Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki - Yuri!!! On Ice

It was a real toss up between this, supercorp, kanera and wolfstar cos they're all very integral ships to my fan heart but this son because of the Yuri on Ice fandom's rebirth this year. I've never stopped shipping this, never stopped reading fanfic of them for any extended period of time, they're still my most bookmarked ship on ao3 (although I think now star wars - all media types may have overtaken them for fandom). They were one of the first things I watched where the queer ship I loved became canon and I can't wait for the film (and hopefully someday a season 2). Heck I even made my mum watch Yuri on Ice with me so I think that says it all.

9) Edelgard Von Hresvelg and female Byleth - Fire Emblem: Three Houses

My first fire emblem game was fates when I was like 14 (and finally gay awake lol). I was so disappointed that I had to be with a guy character because the only female option was kinda creepy and also I wouldn't get the character of kana. So when three houses came out I was so happy because finally there were beautiful incredible female characters my female byleth could romance (I'm so sorry mlm you deserved so much more than you got). I got the game as soon as it came out (had to search a lot of shops let me tell you) and started on black eagles. I was actually kinda disappointed back in 2019. I didn't like the explore the monastery bit (still find it kinda tedious) and the battle mechanics weren't quite the same as fates (no pairing up?! Aka my main battle technique for protecting the weaker units). So I got like 20 hours in and put it down. Came back to it in lockdown and finally finished it! I'm so proud of myself I virtually never finish games. And I fully fell in love with the useless lesbian edelgard in the process. When I started back playing in 2020 I was like eh I wish I'd picked a different character to romance (like shes an emperor that's morally very shady) but then the romance stuff started with edelgard and I fell the heck in love.

8) Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter (and Topanga Lawrence) - Boy Meets World

Disney+ was released in the UK this year and I finally got the opportunity to watch boy meets world in its best quality (aka not on YouTube). I watched it back when I was like 12 or 13 and it's such a nostalgic show for me. Watching it again I still absolutely adore it (and my bi ass was low-key crushing on Shawn especially in chick like me - I'm 18 btw and I got so scared for a sec but rider strong was 18 when chick like me came out so it's fine woah). And of course now I see the possibilities of the beautiful Cory and Shawn relationship like they were so bromance it was basically romance and throw in topanga it's the perfect ot3 (but I'm also fine with just Cory and Shawn or just Cory and Topanga). Read some good fanfic for them this year. My favourite was one about Shawn stealing makeup and stuff and exploring gender (need more fics like this I'm biiii).

7) Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes - Marvel Cinematic Universe

I rewatched all the MCU films this year too. And got really into Peter parker whump and irondad. Plus my eternal obsession with identity and relationship reveals of course led me from Spiderman identity reveals (and found family cuteness) to stucky coming out. Especially when it involves the internet and social media. Not my favourite ship but it's been significant to my year due to the sheer amount of marvel stuff I've read.

6) Satine Kryze and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I rewatched clone wars in prep for season 7 and wow Satine's death was sad and sudden. She first appeared in S2 E13 I think and just the sheer sexual tension of their bickering. "The sarcasm of a soldier. The delusion of a dreamer." Just ugnnhhh my bi ass can't take much more of this. And Anakin just sipping his wine in the background grinning. And I fully believe korkie is a Kenobi.

5) Commander Cody and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I am very much an Obi wan multishipper. I don't really have a favourite but I fully believe he was with satine and Quinlan in his life. I don't think be would've actually done anything with Cody because of the whole superior officer thing. And this probably isn't even my favourite Obi wan ship - that honour probably goes to quinobi or obitine. However the most popular ships in the fandom are codywan, quiobi and obikin. No offence to anyone who ships these they're just personally not to my taste, but I can't stand quiobi, and obikin I find only slightly more tolerable and I think that's just because there's so much obikin content so if I like the concept of a fic that happens to be obikin I'll read it. I'm just not a fan of the mentor/student relationships. So I generally favoured the codywan fics when there was shipping involved meaning I read a lot of them this year. Needed that nice fix it content post season 7.

4) Zuko and Katara - Avatar: the Last Airbender

Again I am a multishipper I have nothing against zukka it's cute. But I'm a zutara shipper first and foremost because when I first watched avatar I was like 13 and denying my gayness and gayness in general so I shipped the straight things and the straight things only. Most of these ships I stopped shipping - dramione, spuffy, some my little pony ones which we don't talk about. Zutara stayed. (I have nothing against any of the things I used to ship I just stopped shipping them so much/shipped new things more). I've continuously shipped zutara since I first watched avatar even if I didn't necessarily spend that much time on it it has always been here as one of my favourite ships. It has such good fanfic I swear including my favourite ever fanfic from any fandom - love thy enemy. Plus like the black games (reread this for the millionth time this year), a delicate subterfuge (which I read for the first time this year and damn it's so good) and so many more. With the avatar resurgence this year I haven't actually rewatched avatar aside from my normal random episode every now and then when I feel like it. But there's been a lot of avatar on my dash from people I follow getting into it and people I followed for avatar returning so naturally I returned to the fandom and read quite a lot of fanfic. I also read just a lot of avatar gen fics which were great at the whole found family thing I've been so obsessed with this year.

3) Catra and Adora - She Ra and the Princesses of Power

Catradora is canon! They kissed! What more is there to say. Arguably they should've been top but I never shipped them that much since I was always very much a multishipper when it came to she ra so yes I was very happy it became canon because we actually won for once but also I've never read much fanfic for them etc. But they are very much a dynamic I love and watching she ra all again in prep for season 5 I really enjoyed the build up of their relationship. The other two only go above because Buffy is my favourite show ever and damn there's some good fuffy fanfic and Aphra and Tolvan is both fresh in my mind and star wars owns me. Would love some catradora fic recs btw if anyone has them tho.

2) Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I didn't realise it was last year that I got super into them but according to my ao3 bookmarks it was lol. 2020 I swear it's lasted an eternity. I got into them about a month before lockdown (which feels like another lifetime). I've loved Buffy since I first watched it when I was 13. It's arguably still my favourite TV show. I've been through a lot of ships for Buffy - bangel to spuffy and now fuffy. I still think angel and her were a beautiful ship back in season 2 and especially in the angel episode I will remember you. But faith and Buffy had so much chemistry in season 3 - she would've been a fresh start for Buffy and the amount of fix it fics I read I swear. My favourite has to be one where they met in LA during Anne and how that changed everything feat Buffy's internal homophobia.

1) Cheili Lona Aphra and Magna Tolvan - Star Wars

I read Darth Vader (2015) and Doctor Aphra (2016) for the first time at the end of 2020 (got a comic subscription which has served me very well already I've nearly finished the star wars canon comics). Just to see canon queer ladies in star wars was so magical for me as a queer lady. I didn't think star wars would be so overt yet as to have a queer kiss in canon (even if it's in the comics) and especially not with the main character of arguably their main comic series. Now we just gotta hope that we'll get it in live action someday soon. They weren't the ship I consumed the most content of in 2020 but they were the highlight of my 2020 because star wars did that and I finally found out about it

Honourable mentions: Vivian and Elle - Legally Blonde, Candace and Vanessa - Phineas and Ferb, Stevie and Alex - Wizards of Waverly Place, Xander and Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I actually don't ship this but damn some authors are good - this was the ship that made me realise I don't need to like a ship if the author is good enough to write it well), Eli Vanto and Mitth'raw'nuruodo - Star Wars (started reading the books last year but finished this year and only started with fanfic this year), Villanelle and Eve - Killing Eve, Kanan and Hera - Star Wars, Barriss and Ahsoka - Star Wars, Remus and Sirius - Harry Potter, Kara and Lena - Supergirl (let's hope this becomes canon next year!) (Those last four are ones I've shipped forever some of my og ships but nothing particularly big has happened for me this year with them so)

I got Disney+ this year so rewatched a fair few things from my youth and though hey my obsession with that character may have been a little gay.

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goldencuffs · 4 years

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ok idk if this has been done before but hear me out. call me by your name au with elio!laurent and hot older oliver!damen 🤤 (happy ending tho bc i’m not a masochist) all this talk of older damen being hot as all hell got me THINKING

!!!!!!!! idek if this is ask is meant for me but as someone who genuinely loves the movie (not so much the book lol) i can get on board with this!!

also......on a completely different note....i actually have a wip that is heavily inspired by call me by your name. it takes place in summer, features postgrad damen who is helping out professor aleron, and laurent who is very smitten with damen and his muscles. here is a snippet from it (aka the only part that is semi edited):

It isn’t until Rochert tells everyone on the football team that Laurent is a desperate, whorish, cock-hungry slut that Damianos finally begins paying attention to him.

Damianos, or Damen, as he insists on being called, is Papa’s latest research assistant. Every year, Papa promises a sedulous student of his free residence in their guest house for an entire year, while cultivating said student’s brilliance. It’s part of Papa’s grand plan to create as many philosophers in a “philosophically unchallenged era”. Usually, the students have to dedicate a certain number of hours a week to help Papa research new material for his classes, grade papers, and translate niche, long poems no one besides patrons in Introduction to Classics reads. Damen himself is an enigma; he’s at the very least 6’ 5”, quite possibly taller, especially when he wears boots, bronzed, dimpled, and he spends nearly all his free time at the gym, on the field, or in the kitchen with Mama, sampling a bizarre new creation of hers.

He has also been the object of Laurent’s fascination and sexual dreams for the last three months. In fact, upon meeting Damen for the first time, Laurent’s first thought had been, I want him on top of me. Since then, his initial inner monologues haven’t deviated much. The only problem is this: despite Laurent’s continuous efforts to get Damen to grunt more than one syllable in his direction, Damen doesn’t seem to ever notice him. Even when Laurent lingers around the guest house doorway wearing his limited-edition Givenchy jacket and jeans that are a size too small, all Damen ever does is give him a polite, mostly uninterested nod.

At the end of the third month of pining with little reciprocation, Laurent decides that pursuing Damen is an unworthy, impossible task. His mind is mostly made up, until one Tuesday afternoon, as Laurent is leaving for his Philology class, Auguste and Damen come barrelling in through the kitchen doors, instead of through the patio doors.

The patio doors offer a direct path to the guest house; after a particularly vigorous training session, Auguste and Damen directly head through there to get high and drink. Auguste can’t do that anywhere besides the guest house; he had insisted on living on campus, with his other football teammates, even though their house is down the road from university, and at most, a five-minute walk.

Laurent is too distracted by the tightness of Damen’s shirt around his biceps to actually notice Auguste, until his brother pushes him to the side in order to get to the freezer.

“Oh my god!” Laurent gasps. Auguste is bleeding heavily. There’s red smeared all over his nose, dripping into his lips as he tries to stop the flow. Wrapping a paper towel around some ice cubes, Auguste tilts his head down. Damen hovers over him, saying something that is too quiet for Laurent to pick up on.

Laurent breathes in sharply through his nose; the dizziness he feels is sudden. He sits down at the dining table, a hand pressed to his forehead, eyes squeezed shut.

“You alright?” Damen calls out from the other side of the kitchen. He’s handing Auguste more ice. Laurent can’t even celebrate the fact that Damen is addressing him because he thinks he might pass out.

“Mmm hmm,” he says, or at least tries to.

“He’s scared of blood,” Auguste says. His voice is muffled around the paper towel.

A moment later, there’s a glass of water being placed down near his elbow. Laurent looks up at Damen, who isn’t quite smiling. He says, “Drink up. It might make you feel better.”

By the time Laurent has finished drinking his water, with shaking hands and a dry mouth, Auguste seems to be in better shape. There’s no more blood all over his face, just a streak of mud on his temple and sweat in his hairline.

“What happened to you?” Laurent asks. “Thanks,” he adds belatedly to Damen, who only nods, already back to his usual stoicism around Laurent.

He’s surprised by the anger twisted in Auguste’s features; Auguste is rarely antagonistic. “Do you know what that motherfucker Rochert has been saying about you?” Auguste’s voice is a brittle, biting sound.

Laurent almost says who? It takes him more than a few seconds for the name to register in his mind. When it does, he blushes, hard. “Um.”

He has a concrete idea of what Rochert could have said to piss Auguste off to this degree. The changing rooms aren’t soundproof, and yesterday, when Laurent had dropped off some papers to Damen as a favour to his father, he had heard Rochert’s booming voice telling Jord and Orlant that Laurent was a slut, always ready for cock.

Damen had stepped out of the changing rooms the moment Rochert had said, “He’s a straight up whore. Seriously. My cock was on fire and he still wasn’t satiated.”

His voice had carried into the space between them. It was as though Rochert was standing next to them; his voice was clear and unbroken.

Damen’s eyebrows had risen. Laurent, face hot, fumbled with the papers. “Here.” He shoved them into Damen’s hand.

Damen, wearing his letterman jacket and smelling like a generic soap brand, took them. For a moment, it looked as though he was going to say something. Then he smirked, and his eyes travelled over Laurent’s body in a leisurely place. It was the kind of once over someone promising a good fuck would do. Laurent had felt like his whole body was on fire, and not just his face.

Damen said, “Thanks,” smirk still firmly locked in place, before he turned around, heading towards the coffee shop.

On his walk to the other side of campus, Laurent had managed to convince himself that he had just been imagining the look. Damen had been staying with them for three months now, and in that span of time, the only thing he had said to Laurent that was longer than two syllables was, Does your dad stock any Patran dictionaries? It wasn’t conceivable that Damen now would suddenly look at him like he was a five-course meal.

Now, however, Laurent swears Damen is giving him the same kind of look, even if his mouth is set tight.

Still, there are more pressing matters right now. Taking in Auguste’s rumpled jersey and his glittering eyes, Laurent makes his conclusion. “Did you hit him?”

“Did I –” Auguste breaks off with a slow, incredulous shake of his head. “Yeah, I hit him! That little shit was saying the most disgusting things about you.”

Laurent recalls the conversation from yesterday. “I mean, it’s not – he isn’t that bad.”

It’s the wrong thing to say. Auguste is getting more incensed. He’s practically vibrating with anger, hopping from one foot to the other. “Look Laurent,” he begins, and Laurent mentally groans; Auguste has gone into his lecturing mode. “It doesn’t matter who you sleep with or what your tendencies are in the bedroom, you never let someone talk about you like that. Alright? Tell me you understand.”

“I understand,” Laurent says dutifully.

“I can’t believe the nerve of that guy,” Auguste says. “Apparently he’s been spouting this bullshit for a while now; he just waits until I’ve left practice. It’s lucky I forgot my wallet in my locker today.”

Laurent hums. Truthfully, he doesn’t care what Rochert – or the other football guys – say about him. Aside from a comment here or there, they don’t ever talk to him anyway.

Regardless, he’s touched by Auguste’s protectiveness.

“Thanks,” he says. “For protecting my honour and all that.”

Auguste throws him a fond, exasperated look. “Don’t thank me. Just… you know.”

“Yes,” says Laurent.

Damen says, “You going to class?” even though he knows Laurent has classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

“Yes,” says Laurent. “Philology.”

“I took that in first year too. If you need any help, let me know.”

“...Thanks,” says Laurent.

#captive prince #my writing #for some reason in this word doc i had linked google results for armie hammers height #so i guess thats something #i also linked an image of tiramisu #like not a recipe #just an image #i have no idea why and honestly i dont want to know why #anyway anon sorry if this wasnt for me and i hijacked it #asks

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itsjustascarecrow · 6 years

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i heard it was Lady Friday and that @starwarsladies put out a call for oc’s, so uh. here i am i guess?? w/ a little fic (just over 2.3k words) featuring one of my sw ladies. i shall preface this by saying i’ve not shared anything about any of my oc’s on this site before, so this is kind of a first for me, b/c i know how some people can be about 1) oc x canon, and 2) oc’s related to major characters, both of which this oc falls under.. but! this is not a shipfic, i promise! in fact, i’ll (try to) give a brief intro:

name: Jey-Min Kenobi age: about 23/24 (at the time of this fic; born 19 BBY) appearance: light-skinned, bluish-gray eyes, yellow-orange hair, 5′8″ (so save those last three things my face claim for her is Deborah Ann Woll) affiliation/occupation: the Rebellion/Resistance; a Jedi telekinesis Sage (her lightsaber is orange) other general things: friendly; kind of an oblivious idiot sometimes; can flirt like a champ w/o actually meaning to do so (she just thinks she’s being nice); panromantic/asexual af; hates being cold; loves cute things; was best friends w/ a jawa growing up--as she was raised by her uncle Obi-Wan on Tatooine; can speak a lot of different languages (tho not necessarily fluently) and can swear in even more; enjoys music and knows how to play the space-equivalent of a banjo; never met her parents as they were killed by Separatists when she was only a month old--and thus has underlying issues revolving around motherhood b/c of it; a great baker (tho not at the time of this fic; that comes later); considers Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, etc. to be family; is one version of my first ever star wars oc/concept for an oc and is friends/allies w/ another oc of mine who’s the other half of that original concept

but ye, in terms of plot, a quick note: this fic mentions some things that involve events that my friend @fettjango and i have come up with in our own sort of. au i guess you can call it; it also mentions a couple oc’s of theirs as well. long-story-short, their oc Fareema, who at one point worked for the Empire, has offered Leia and the Resistance information on any remaining Imperialists in the galaxy, such as where to find them, and Jey offered to accompany Ezra Bridger on said missions to take down said Imperialists. this fic takes place after the first of those missions. so w/o further adieu, here goes nothing??

Jey-Min Kenobi stood outside the gray stone dwelling that had served as her home for 19 years, the home her uncle, the great Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, had raised her in. But she was not thinking of the Jedi Knight he had revealed himself to be in his later years. She was thinking of the man named Ben, a simple, kind old man who spent his days caring for his late twin sister's daughter and their herd of bantha, and occasionally helping any other locals out of tricky situations should the need arise. She closed her eyes, picturing the door as she last saw it, when they first welcomed Luke Skywalker and a couple of rebel droids into their home, changing both his and her own lives forever. When she opened her eyes again, gazing upon the sight of a door nearly hidden entirely by the sand that had piled up over the past four years, she'd realized the tears had already begun to fall. She thought back to when she had asked her new friend, Ezra Bridger, to take her here and continued to question if this was a good idea or not. He had been fine with making this quick pit stop but had volunteered to stay behind with their ship. Jey thought to herself that he probably didn't care much for this planet's climate, as not many people did. And while that was one of the many things that made this place home, the memories this home held of times and people now long gone made it difficult for her to see it as anything other than a tomb. Not only was Obi-Wan dead, but so was Old Ben. And with him, Jamie Kenobi--a version of herself that had known nothing of Jedi and their lightsabers and their control over the Force. Of their involvement in the Clone Wars and connections to those who created the Empire, who had been in power since she was an infant. The lies told to keep her safe, the people she had never been told about and the legacy they had left behind--a legacy now carried on by a man her own age whom she had always known to be just like her: a simple child of a desert planet with nothing special about them. Jamie Kenobi had never left this home some five years ago. She had died in this very building and Jey-Min had left in her place. And now she was terrified of the ghost of herself she knew to still haunt this place. One last time she thought of going back to Ezra empty-handed before she raised her hands to clear away the sand and opened the door using the Force her uncle so truly valued. As she stepped over the threshold, the ghost of Jamie took over, and she saw the home she always knew. It wasn't the most elaborate or expensive home, but they never needed it to be. Adequately-sized rooms, square windows, round pillars, arched doorways, all made of the same grayish-white stone as the outside; cool the touch and always a welcome respite in the sometimes near-sweltering Tatooine heat. The way she saw it now, things were in their place as she had last saw them, in their proper places all nice and neat and clean. She and her uncle weren't necessarily the meticulous type, but they understood the value of a tidy home in a dust bowl like this. And what would seem to many as old relics or antiques strewn about the place in some sort of decorative manner were almost like treasures to them. Things collected of a time long passed that, perhaps when she was younger, she didn't quite fully appreciate. But as Jey-Min looked through Jamie's eyes, she began to wonder if she and her uncle were actually a part of that collection as well. She noticed the tears flowing more steadily now, though she did not know if they were Jey-Min's or Jamie's. At this point, she didn't even know what she was looking for. Whatever excuse she had told Ezra had since been forgotten; now she just wandered aimlessly from room to room. But the longer she stayed, the weaker Jamie's grip on her became, and she began to see things as Luke had last described them to her. He had come back to their home planet four years ago in search of something; she couldn't remember exactly what for. But one of the stops he made was back here to the old Kenobi family homestead, and it was here where he had ran into the Mandalorian bounty hunter Boba Fett. Luke had described their fight to her in cautious detail, knowing full well she wouldn't have appreciated him unintentionally trashing her childhood home like this. Nor was he prepared for the sudden appearance of sand people, who must've either wanted in on the action or perhaps an easy target for a scavenging run. Either way, as her feet kicked aside bits of rubble and scrap, and as her fingers traced the blaster holes in the walls, she had to fight the growing urge to turn and run. While Jamie's hold on Jey-Min's sight had been released, her presence within the home still remained. Jey-Min would turn at the sound of a young girl giggling and see an afterimage herself being lifted into the air by her uncle, and when she moved into another room, she would see herself again, this time playing with toys that now lay discarded or in pieces on the floor. Eventually it all became too much for her to bear; she raised a hand to cover her mouth and slumped against a wall, slowly sliding down to the floor as she began to openly sob. She wasn't sure how long she had sat there, but eventually she calmed down enough to realize she was in fact alone. No more mirages of small children and dead uncles, of a home still in a functional state. Just a lone Jedi amongst the sand and debris. Her tear-stained face turned slowly as she took everything in one last time, her chest rising then falling with a deep, heavy sigh. 'I shouldn't have come here,' she thought. 'There's nothing left here for me.' Jey-Min finally rose to her feet and made her way back out into the midday Tatooine heat, but as she turned to close the door for the final time, she saw Jamie standing just inside, watching with sad yet angry eyes as her future walk away. But together, the two versions of Obi-Wan's niece raised their hand and wafted it to the side, sealing the entrance for good. Jey half-ran, half-briskly walked back to the ship, eager to get off the planet, as she tried to wipe her face clean with her hands. She knew it was a mess and would certainly give away the emotional ordeal she just went through. And she felt she trusted Ezra (as much as one could after only knowing him for a few days so far), but she wasn't sure if she was ready to explain herself to him just yet. Pausing at the bottom of the loading ramp, she took one last moment to collect herself, but before she could make her way up, she heard the familiar beeping of R8-V2, the Imperial astromech on loan to them by the Chiss woman who started them on these missions to begin with. "Well," Jey sighed, "if everything was alright, I wouldn't look like this, now would I?" She slowly trudged her way up the ramp but still made a point to pat V2 on the head as they beeped a reply, which did make her chuckle. "Yes, I'm sure your 'weird blue mother's stealth tricks' helped out more often than not in these situations, but honestly I'm already such a mess, I'm not sure there's anything that could save me at this point. I'm just too far gone, I'm afraid." Ezra was slouched across the captain's seat when Jey stepped into the bridge. "Oh hey, you're back," he called over a shoulder. "Was starting to worry you'd gotten buried alive in a rogue sand dune or--" He stopped mid-sentence after doing a double-take when he caught sight of her face and scrambled to his feet. "Woah, are you okay? I-Is something wrong; did something happen out there?" The genuine concern in his voice nearly made Jey break down all over again, but she managed to hold most of it back this time. "I'm fine," she lied, raising a hand to stop his advance. "Or, at least I will be. It's just... too many memories.." She shook her head slightly, annoyed with herself as she felt a couple more tears escape. Quickly wiping them away, she tried to laugh it off. "I promise I'm not always like this." "Hey, it's alright," he chuckled a bit awkwardly. "I know it can be.. difficult coming home after a long time being away." "Yeah, it's.. it's cool; I'll be fine, I just.. let's just go; we should report back to Fareema." "Okay, if you're sure." He slid back down into his seat as his co-pilot just nodded, settling down into her own seat, and within moments they had left the surface of the planet, made it up into its atmosphere, and blasted off into hyperspace. They had sat in a somewhat uncomfortable silence for a good while before Ezra felt a pair of eyes seemingly boring into him off to his right. He turned to catch Jey staring at him for what certainly wasn't the first time this mission. "Uh.. you're doing it again," he pointed out when she didn't turn away after being caught. A quiet "Hm?" was the only reply. "Staring at me." "Oh. Sorry." It was almost as if she had been broken out of a trance. "I'm just.. trying to remember your face. Sometimes memories are.. all I have left of some people." "Right... Are you sure you're okay?" Jey took a moment to think about how she wanted to answer, leaning an elbow on one of the arms of her chair and placing a hand on her cheek. "Not even Nara and Dolo were still around," she muttered almost half to herself. "Who?" "A couple of banthas that were part of a small herd my uncle adopted when I was little." She smiled when Ezra laughed in disbelief. "Oh yeah, we had a fair few; those two were the oldest. "There was this one time when I was still quite small and wasn't quite old enough to know not to play with large animals unsupervised, but anyway, that's exactly what I did. I just thought they looked nice and cuddly, like giant, woolly blankets, so one evening I thought to myself 'I'm gonna sleep outside with Dolo and Nara tonight' and I just.. snuggled right up in there with them. And at first, it was pretty great; real cozy, y'know? Until somehow I just sorta. Fell into them. Like I was just lost within the void that was their fur almost instantly. "I didn't panic though, like I had faith that I'd be fine. If anything, I thought it was pretty funny at the time. But then I heard my uncle calling out for me, wondering where I'd run off to. And instead of calling back out to him, I stayed right where I was, all nice and quiet-like. But clearly I wasn't quiet enough; I heard him getting closer to where the herd had settled down for the night, so when I was sure he was standing right next to us, I popped my little hand out and waved at him. And to this very day, I will never forget the sound he made." By this point, Ezra was nearly doubled over with laughter. "That's incredible, holy shit!" "Yeah, we kinda did that a lot to each other; we weren't the most responsible family, got away with a lot of shit. He'd even take me with him when he'd stop by the local cantinas to drink, and at the time I wasn't even in double digits yet age-wise. "Actually, y'know what's funny?" Ezra jumped slightly as Jey continued, and she realized she may've spoken a bit more aggressively than she had intended. "All those times my uncle would stop in to drink? He was a responsible drinker as far as I was aware; either that or he just had a much higher tolerance than most. But I asked him one time why he drank so often and he told me, 'You remember all those stories I told you about your uncle Ani? That's why.'--now it fucking makes sense!" "Uncle Ani; who's that? I didn't know Obi-Wan had a brother." "'Ani' was short for Anakin. As in Anakin Skywalker, his former apprentice. Darth fucking Vader was technically my 'uncle'." Jey took a moment to take in what she just admitted, placing her head into one of her hands. "Gods, I'm really glad I didn't know him growing up; it probably would've made me drink as much as my uncle did." "Yikes, yeah. I had the misfortune of running into him a couple of times, and those certainly weren't.. pleasant experiences..." Another short awkward silence followed, but this time it was V2 who decided to break it. They beeped out a story about a time when their "weird blue mother Fare" climbed up to the top of a stack of crates during a bit of training with her commanding officers when something on the ceiling had caught her attention. Of course V2's punchline to the story was to say she had been "on top of things". This spurred another round of laughter from the two humans, and they then proceeded to swap stories from their youth about momentary lapses of judgement and the like. This lasted all the way until they made it back to their home base, and by the end of their journey, they knew this would be the start of a very interesting partnership.

#sw oc tag #lady friday #okay first off i just want to give a preemptive i'm sorry if the readmore doesn't work and y'all have to deal w/ a massive wall of text..#secondly.. i'm also still very nervous about posting this but. hey given my track record of posting on this site #there's a high change this will get completely ignored so. is it sad that i almost hope for that? i guess it's better than potential hate :)#but. yeah. i guess if people actually like this then. cool. i will have no idea how to deal w/ that but know i will appreciate it l o l #star wars #random bullshit #written by silhouby #jey min kenobi #kenobi

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qodforsakens · 7 years

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QUESTIONNAIRE 4 SUFFERING

Q: WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME ? A: Ashley. Relatively unoriginal, but my mom wanted my middle name to be Blue ( in which case i would have DIED ) Q: HOW OLD ARE YOU ? A: Feel like I’m 12 but I’m almost 20 Q: WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY ? A: March 21st, i’mmA SPRING BABY

Q: WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN ? A: Technically an Aries but ig i’m on the “ Pisces Cusp ” ? dk what that means but my mom told me the other day but i feel as if i’ve cheated astrology stuff lols ?

Q: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR ? A: I don’t really have one, but I like the color pink a lot so maybe pink

Q: WHAT’S YOUR LUCKY NUMBER ? A: Lucky who ?

Q: DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS ? A: Three ! Bailey, Dana and Melvin.

Q: WHERE ARE YOU FROM ? A: Everywhere ? Born in Missoula, Montana / raised in Wisconsin until I was around 12 / went to school in Montana until I was a sophomore / went for a semester of school during sophomore year in Wild Rose, Wisconsin / moved back to a quaint Deer Lodge, Montana until the end of my junior year / moved to Hudson, Wisconsin my senior year of HS and lived there until July 31st / living in the Shithole that is Mondovi, Wisconsin.

Q: HOW TALL ARE YOU ? A: 5′5 3/4″. The 3/4″ is important to note because I’m NEARLY 5′6″ and most everyone in my family is around 6′. I’m dead inside

Q: WHAT SHOE SIZE ARE YOU ? A: Technically a 9.5 but the size varies by brand.

Q: HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DO YOU OWN ? A: Probably nine, but I hardly wear any of them because I work at the fucking time

Q: WHAT WAS YOUR LAST DREAM ABOUT ? A: I remember that I had ANOTHER dream with u in it but I didn’t remember enough about it that it was worth sharing ? But I did wake up feeling like all of my problems were gone so it was a positive dream

Q: WHAT TALENTS DO YOU HAVE ? A: I can learn songs from musicals in no time.

Q: ARE YOU PSYCHIC IN ANY WAY ? A: No, next question

Q: FAVORITE SONG ? A: My favorite song is either You and I ( Lady Gaga, Born This Way ) or The Cure ( also Gaga, current single )

Q: FAVORITE MOVIE ? A: RENT. Hands down my favorite movie of all time. I could watch it on a loop tbh

Q: WHO WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL PARTNER ? A: Someone who understood that I’m really fucking depressive all the time, like, grossly depressive ? I can joke abt wanting to kill myself 500 times and not mean it, but other times I do and I wish ! ppl could read minds bc having to tell someone that I’m depressed makes me hurt worse bc I feel like a Disappointment

Q: DO YOU WANT CHILDREN ? A: I’m not sure if I do. I mean, at nineteen ? No fucking way. In ten years ? Maybe, I’m thinking yes, but to be decided obviously

Q: DO YOU WANT A CHURCH WEDDING ? A: Probably, but not because I’m religious

Q: ARE YOU RELIGIOUS ? A: I don’t follow any religion, but when I’m scared I repeat, “ i believe in God. ” until my freight vanishes

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE HOSPITAL ? A: A few times. Three were the most serious. Broke my wrist, caught Lymes Disease via nasty-ass deer ticks and had a concussion from cheer.

Q: HAVE YOU EVER GOT IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW ? A: Once, and it actually wasn’t my fault. I was, hello, gay-baited and naive, and the gal that gay-baited me told me that it was LEGAL to spray paint. Because it was Montana, I didn’t get into much trouble but was supposed to go to a local courthouse to clear up w/e had happened which never occurred bc not even a month later were we moving to Wisconsin

Q: HAVE YOU EVER MET ANY CELEBRITIES ? A: One but he’s gross so : /

Q: BATHS OR SHOWERS ? A: Showers but only if I don’t have bath bombs to use

Q: WHAT COLOR SOCKS ARE YOU WEARING ? A: Currently none bc I’m in bed and it’s 4:13 a.m.

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN FAMOUS ? A: Thankfully not

Q: WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A BIG CELEBRITY ? A: Maybe a Broadway star or jazz singer but other than that ? Pass

Q: WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE ? A: MOSTLY SHOW TUNES, BUT GAGA / QUEEN / DAVID BOWIE

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SKINNY DIPPING ? A: Don’t have the gall to tbh

Q: HOW MANY PILLOWS DO YOU SLEEP WITH ? A: I think six ? Too lazy to count rn

Q: WHAT POSITION DO YOU SLEEP IN ? A: I fall asleep laying on my side, facing the wall, with my legs folded like ? behind me but i always wake up laying on my back so

Q: HOW BIG IS YOUR HOUSE ? A: uh average ?

Q: WHAT DO YOU TYPICALLY HAVE FOR BREAKFAST ? A: I rarely eat which doesn’T show but I sleep and work too much to fit breakfast into an every day schedule

Q: HAVE I EVER FIRED A GUN ? A: My dad is a white male AND a conservative from Montana, u tell me

Q: HAVE YOU TRIED ARCHERY ? A: In high school bc I needed to do it to pass P.E. but it was not my thing

Q: FAVORITE CLEAN WORD ? A: idk if i have one ? i say Mood all the time but that’s not a favorite

Q: FAVORITE SWEAR WORD ? A: Bitchin’

Q: WHAT’S THE LONGEST YOU’VE GONE WITHOUT SLEEP ? A: Around 25-ish hours ? I can’t handle that anymore tho

Q: DO YOU HAVE ANY SCARS ? A: I have a handful of scars on my forehead bc of an Incident in kindergarten, a scar on my left earlobe bc a dog almost ripped my fucking earlobe off and one on my right big toe due to my brother not telling me abt the glass he broke and didn’t clean up : ) that one cut to the bone : ) and a few on my left arm lols

Q: Have you ever had a secret admirer ? A: Not attractive enough tbh

Q: ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR ? A: I don’t lie on per the norm so no. I smile too much tbh

Q: ARE YOU A GOOD JUDGE OF CHARACTER ? A: Usually not.

Q: CAN YOU DO ANY OTHER ACCENTS OTHER THAN YOUR OWN ? A: I can slip into accents for .00006 seconds but no one ever hears them

Q: DO YOU HAVE A STRONG ACCENT ? A: God I wish

Q: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ACCENT ? A: Boston / Mass accents.

Q: WHAT IS YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE ? A: This requires me to take a long-ass test n i’m not gna do that rn

Q: WHAT IS YOUR MOST EXPENSIVE PIECE OF CLOTHING ? A: Probably my $70-$80 jeans that are now Ruined

Q: CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE ? A: Mhm

Q: ARE YOU AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE ? A: Innie

Q: LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED ? A: Right

Q: ARE YOU AFRAID OF SPIDERS ? A: Naturally

Q: FAVORITE FOOD ? A: Highkey Gyros

Q: FAVORITE FOREIGN FOOD ? A: GYROS

Q: ARE YOU A CLEAN OR MESSY PERSON ? A: Both : (

Q: MOST USED PHRASE ? A: haHahahA whatta mood !

Q: MOST USED WORD ? A: Mood

Q: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET READY ? A: Two hours

Q: DO YOU HAVE MUCH OF AN EGO ? A: Probably best known for forgetting things

Q: DO YOU SUCK OR BITE LOLLIPOPS ? A: suck eM

Q: DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF ? A: Probably

Q: DO YOU SING TO YOURSELF ? A: All the time

Q: ARE YOU A GOOD SINGER ? A: I’ve been told that I am by a handful of ppl but who knows

Q: BIGGEST FEAR ? A: Drowning, burning to death or being stabbed in either lung bc yiKEs

Q: ARE YOU A GOSSIP ? A: Not necessarily tbh

Q: BEST DRAMATIC MOVIE YOU’VE SEEN ? A: Baby driver but it wasn’t rlly dramatic ?

Q: DO YOU LIKE LONG OR SHORT HAIR ? A: On me, it’s a tie tbh. I love long hair until I have it n then I want it shoRT SO

Q: CAN YOU NAME ALL 50 STATES OF AMERICA ? A: If I have a while to think abt them then yes. If not, no

Q: FAVORITE SCHOOL SUBJECT ? A: English / Language

Q: EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT ? A: Intro x100

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SCUBA DIVING ? A: No and I don’t want to

Q: WHAT MAKES YOU NERVOUS ? A: Being honest abt how I feel regardless of context

Q: ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK ? A: I’m the Biggest baby so yes

Q: DO YOU CORRECT PEOPLE WHEN THEY MAKE MISTAKES ? A: Not verbally bc I wasn’t raised in the jungle

Q: ARE YOU TICKLISH ? A: EvERYWHERE

Q: HAVE YOU EVER STARTED A RUMOR ? A: Gross, no

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A POSITION OF AUTHORITY ? A: Once for a hs class assignment but I’m the only one who worked on the project in the long-run

Q: HAVE YOU EVER DRANK UNDERAGE ? A: mhm

Q: HAVE YOU EVER DONE DRUGS ? A: Only smoked weed tbh

Q: WHO WAS YOUR FIRST REAL CRUSH ? A: My kindergarten boyfriend, how the turntables

Q: HOW MANY PIERCINGS DO YOU HAVE ? A: Eleven

Q: CAN YOU ROLL YOUR Rs ? A: Barely !

Q: HOW FAST CAN YOU TYPE ? A: Pretty fast, idk the wpm tho

Q: HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN ? A: What is this, middle school ?

Q: WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HAIR ? A: Bleached bitch

Q: WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES ? A: Brown

Q: WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ? A: Cats, unfortunately

Q: DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL ? A: I don’t but should

Q: WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS DO ? A: My dad is a licensed Electrician and my mom works at a grocery store

Q: DO YOU LIKE YOUR AGE ? A: I feel 12 yall

Q: WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY ? A: Being mocked or people bickering with me over something that I’m obviously right about

Q: DO YOU LIKE YOUR OWN NAME ? A: Skye is a shit name tbh, would change it to Liz if my parents wouldn’t freak out about it.

Q: HAVE YOU ALREADY THOUGHT OF BABY NAMES, AND IF SO WHAT ARE THEY ? A: I love feminine / strong / unisex names.

Q: DO YOU WANT A BOY OR GIRL FOR A CHILD ? A: Idk probably either

Q: WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS ? A: Doubting everyone

Q: WHAT ARE YOUR WEAKNESSES ? A: Assuming the worst of ppl

Q: HOW DID YOU GET YOUR NAME ? A: Well, my mom wrote a list of names on a sheet of paper and my dad liked Skye so here we are. I was almost a Chloe / Mercedes / Samantha.

Q: WERE YOUR ANCESTORS ROYALTY ? A: Obviously not

Q: COLOR OF YOUR BEDSPREAD ? A: Black ONLY because my main sheets had been washed recently and I haven’t changed back

Q: COLOR OF YOUR ROOM ? A: Yellow but not by choice

And the meme is from HERE. Tagging @heartcraves but u genuinely don’t have to do this bc it took me almost two hours so please spare yourself

#personal tbt.#i wanted to stop @ question 19 but here we are #this Goes to my mom who says i haVE NO FOLLOW THRU

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faithlovealyssa · 7 years

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5 Year Recap: Love Remains the Same

Five years later and here we are making a full circle, back to where we started.If you would have asked me five years ago where my life would be at right now, I don’t know what I would have told you, but I know it wouldn’t have been anything close to what is actually going on right now.

Quick recap: when I started this blog, I was madly in love with my high school sweetheart, Jason. I ruined our relationship by showing interest in another person (which was honestly for the best because I have learned so much about myself since then). By the time I fully committed to Jason being my only choice, it was much too late. I broke his heart and when I tried to put the pieces back together, he wouldn’t let me anywhere near them.

After losing my mom in 2012, I decided to take some time off of going to college to figure out my priorities. I have regrets about making this choice, but shit happens and you don’t dwell... you put on your big girl pants and move the fuck on. After dating a total loser named James my senior year of high school, I broke up with him, and decided to focus on myself. For almost four years now, I’ve managed to stay single (excluding sex obviously [I said I needed to focus on myself not punish myself, judge me jeez]). This may not seem like a big deal... but four whole years single is a major accomplishment for me.

Anyways, after having a huge falling out with my dad in September 2015, I moved in with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. It was a bittersweet choice to move away from my dad, but I honestly think it’s the smartest decision I ever made to save the little bit of relationship we have left. Even though I moved 30 minutes further from my job, I continued to work at the Tilted Kilt in Joliet. I met some of the best friends I ever could have asked for there. I also met a guy there, Bobby. The moment I laid eyes on this guy I knew he was 100% my type (a complete fuck boy that loves to play games). After getting to know him better, I boldly *girl power* gave him my phone number without him even asking (who the fuck am I and what have I done with myself? LIKE FOR REAL, GO ME!!) The more time I spent with Bobby, the more infatuated I became with him. I thought about him all the time and got so comfortable with him so quick, I almost didn’t know how to act. He was the total package, fine as fuck (and I mean FINE like for real GOD DAMN), tatted (tatted), funny, older, interested in the same things as me, a cop (can you say sexy?!), and only lived 20 minutes from me (can you say convenient??). He was all around perfect, EXCEPT he was missing one key trait... he didn��t even for one millisecond give a flying fuck about me at all. He loved being with me, and taking me places and showing me off, and you guessed it.. he LOVED fucking me, but not once did he ever look at me and make me feel like all the time I had been investing wasn’t going to waste. And the reason behind that is because it was. Once I finally took off the blinders and popped the stupid bubble I was walking around in, I came to my senses and ended things. I won’t lie, it was hard.. fuck it was really hard. But it was the right thing to do and I know I am better because of it.

In June of 2016 I moved into my very first apartment, paid for completely by me. (I am currently patting myself on the back for this one) I have one roommate, Katelyn, who at times [always] made living with her very difficult. BUT in May of 2017 I will be moving with my bestfriend Lily (oh beeteedubs forgot to mention I got myself a dog in December of 2016) to CHICAGO!!! I am more than excited for a fresh start and also full of pride for being able to push myself to make my dreams come true.

With all of these changes that have taken place over the years, you would think that everything is different, and for the most part this is true, but one thing that’s still the same... FIVE. YEARS. LATER. - Jason.

You’ve heard time and time again that every time he comes home, we somehow (almost) always end up hooking up, then he leaves again and I’m heartbroken for the 8657876473684th time (lowkey this number probably isn’t too far off, I’ve had my heart broken by Jason more times than I thought possible). Well this Christmas was the LAST straw (do you believe me?). SO before he even came home we both decided to put all of our differences aside for the sake of our sanity at social events (we still have all the same friends) and just because it was the mature thing to do. After we worked out the kinks, I was thrilled, this was the first time since EVER that we actually had a stable foundation for a friendship to actually form. When he first came home for Christmas break he met me and a bunch of my friends out at the bars one night and would you believe it... It couldn’t have gone better. It was as if we had been friends for years. My friends were shocked (I mean obviously because they’ve heard about how we can barely even be in the same room without biting each other’s head off) they couldn’t believe how well the night had went and quite frankly, neither could I. But of course, all good things must come to an end. Not even a whole week later all of my friends got together on December 23rd to have an ugly Christmas sweater party. From the moment I walked in the door I thought I had the fucking plague or that the holiday mules were making me invisible because I swear it’s like I wasn’t even there. Hours later I get word that Jason’s doing “Jason” things per usual and is proclaiming he can “have Alyssa whenever he wants”. Well, I REALLLLLY hope he wasn’t planning on getting laid after that party because he could not have picked a worse day to kick a girl when she’s down. I mean come on, CHRISTMAS FUCKIN EVE, of all the days he had to pick Christmas fuckin’ Eve. I felt a piece of my heart crumble up and break off after that, because that, in my book, is what I consider a low fucking blow. After some *choice* words, I made myself abundantly clear that the last time I saw him was the very last time I ever wanted to see him and he heard me loud and clear.

The first month passed and I was so proud of myself for sticking to my guns and not forgiving Jason when [clearly] he didn’t deserve anymore forgiveness. I gotta admit tho, this one stung different than the other times. It really felt like he did this one to ensure I would really be hurting this time, that the pain would stick. Well fuck Jason, this pain stuck. About two months later, I was at his house visiting with his mom (for just a few minutes) and right as I was walking out the door there comes Jason (and no I wasn’t seeing things) walking down the stairs. I swear to God in my past life I must have been a terrible person because God just loves to punish me. When I saw his face, my heart dropped into my stomach and I was at a loss for words. So I quickly said hello and practically ran out the door. Two days later I got a “Jason” apology, genuine as all hell and late as fuck at night (drunk? probably *rolls eyes*). So what did I do?

Option 1: Melted like putty in his hands and forgave him [ugh typical Alyssa]

Option 2: Accepted the apology but stuck to my word and continued to ask him to leave me alone [not. a. chance.]

Oh but I did follow through with option 2!! Five years is plenty of time to teach yourself some lessons, so I decided to try a different approach to a reoccurring issue and see if I could get some different results. Well guess what?! A few days after new and improved Alyssa decided to take over, Gabriella calls to tell me she has been waiting since NEW YEARS EVE to see me in person and tell me while Jason was drunk as fuck he basically poured his heart out about me to her.

CAN I JUST ASK IN WHAT LAND ANYBODY THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO KEEP INFORMATION THIS IMPORTANT FROM ME FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS?!?! After a deep breath and a blunt, I realized it had already been five fuckin years what’s a couple more months? But almost immediately after this information was revealed to me, I was recanting every word I said to Jason and telling him I needed to talk to him face to face. He agreed and decided we would see each other when he came back from his deployment... in October (ok fine what’s eight more months when it’s already been five years?)

HA HA HA.. I said MOST things in my life changed, not that hell froze over and heaven gave me patience. I decided I couldn’t wait any more so I booked myself a flight to sunny California so we can settle this one way or another, once and for all.

I’ve spent the last three weeks thinking about what I can say to get him to open up and allow himself to be vulnerable around me, and for as well as I know him (which is sometimes better than he knows himself) I keep coming up short. I want to reiterate that I KNOW the cycle of hurting each other started with me hurting him. It started when I made him feel like he was not enough. But I also want to clarify that even though I may not have realized it at the time, I am fully aware now of just how much he loved me. That if he could give me his entire heart and half of somebody else’s, it still wouldn’t measure up. I need him to know that he is the only person I will ever be capable of giving 100% of myself to, because there is a part of me that I will never be able to get back because I gave it to him. He’s got to know that Jason is not “Jason” without Alyssa. And that no matter how often the world around us is changing, this love remains the same.

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patheticphallacy · 5 years

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Another month, another wrap up.

My second year of University is finished, basically. I’ve submitted my dissertation proposal, am in the middle of all my essays due end of April/early May, and have a new flat for third year.

How time flies!

And I’m 20 in two months! Yay! Exciting stuff!

READING WRAP UP

After the Rain by Jun Mayuzuki [3.75 stars; I have a review for this one, it has it’s issues but I’m hoping it’ll improve as the series goes on]

The House at Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne [4 stars; A.A. Milne came in to my house and purposefully ripped my heart out of my chest from beyond the grave]

RWBY Volume 1: Red Like Roses by Various [3 stars; this has some ISSUES I’ve had with other RT productions, I still love it despite myself tho ]

The Isle of Pines by Henry Neville [1 star; A lot of uhhhh incest in this one]

I Hear the Sunspot by Yuki Fumino [3 stars; this one was quite disappointing, in all honesty, although it is still a cute read!]

Measure for Measure by William Shakespeare [3 stars; this is my first Shakespeare of the year as I work my towards reading all his plays by 25! I was confused at moments, but the reveals were so satisfying, although the ending….]

Sweet Blue Flowers by Takako Shimura [4.5 stars; this is the lesbian manga I’ve been waiting for all my life, everyone! I wasn’t living until I read this]

My Immortal by Tara [1 star; thank you to my friend Zara for finally getting me to read all of this finally!]

The Man in the Moone by Francis Godwin [1 star; this was boring as HECK]

Belinda Blinked 1 by Rocky Flintstone [1 star; FINALLY finished the first part of the My Dad Wrote a Porno podcast, so I’m marking this one as read]

Labyrinth Coronation #9, #10, #11 by Simon Spurrier [4 stars- nearly at the end now! I’ll miss this series, honestly, it’s been consistently great and it’s been so entertaining]

Sparrowhawk #3 and #4 by Delilah S Dawson [3 stars; not a spectacular series, but only one issue left, so I may as well finish it when #5 comes out!]

The Unsound by Cullen Bunn [4.5 stars; this is very disturbing and graphic in terms of self harm and gore, but I loved it? Apparently my brand is loving all the bizarre and gorey comic series people HATE]

Saban’s Go Go Power Rangers #15-17 by Ryan Parrott [3 stars; would consider giving these issues 4 stars purely for Skull and Kimberly, and also Bulk for how cute he was protecting Skull’s heart from being broken]

The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata [3.5 stars; a difficult one to rate, as I loved the first half, but once these characters realise they like each other/the one Mariana Zapata Sex Scene happens that is part of her brand, I just get tired and feel like she should have ended it 50 pages before]

On the Death of Peter Stubbe by Scott Wolf [1.5 stars; read this bad boy for Uni and it was actually bizarre]

The Last of August by Brittany Cavallaro [3 stars; I was… very disappointed with this one. The ending was very rushed and confusing, I had to go back and re-read to understand what had happened, but I still love the characters and look forward to reading book 3 in April]

A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare [3.5 stars; this was a laugh and would have been rated higher, if not for that whole final scene that just felt like Shakespeare was STRETCHING]

Book Scavenger by Jennifer Chambliss Bertman [4 stars; this is SUCH a good first book in a middle grade series that follows a girl who goes on a scavenger hunt after the creator of the hunt is hospitalised! It sounds darker than it is, I swear]

Kulti by Mariana Zapata [3.5 stars; THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A WHOLE ASS 5 STARS FOR PLOT if Mariana didn’t insist on ending it the way she did, and also didn’t use lesbophobic slurs and weird possessive undertones between the MC and the LI as well as so much girl and slut shaming like… Winnipeg definitely wasn’t this bad]

The Woods Volume 4 by James Tynion IV (4 stars; this series is finally starting to improve for me and I’m so happy!)

Neverworld Wake by Marisha Pessl (5 stars; I loved this book so so much I’m so glad I finally finished it after 2 months of having it on hold)

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne (3 stars; I didn’t really enjoy this much as expected, it definitely has issues that I’m surprised aren’t discussed more like how violent their relationship is before sex ? The MC genuinely thinks she’s going to get murdered by the LI at first)

The Walking Dead Volume 1 by Robert Kirkman (3.5 stars; after putting this down before I’m so happy I ended up enjoying it!)

Wait For It by Mariana Zapata (3 stars; in terms of more problematic material, this is definitely Zapata’s best. I do still think she has pacing issues though, and her sex scenes are so badly written I cringe every time I read one)

Sunstone Volume 1 by Stjepan Šejić (4 stars; another really great read; the art is beautiful, characters are so fleshed out already, and I can’t wait to see where their relationship goes!)

AND MY APRIL TBR JAR PICK ISSSSSS……………………………………….

IT ONLY HAPPENS IN THE MOVIES by Holly Bourne! One of the picks Annie made for me in my ‘Best Friend picks my TBR’ post!

ESSAYS/ARTICLES I READ THIS MONTH

Chubby Rat Gets Stuck in a Manhole: this is the only piece of literature that has ever mattered to me

Authors voice alarm after sharp drop in sales of YA fiction: a very solemn and worrying piece, but I’m hoping the conversation this brought up will continue and this is something UKYA publishers and readers alike can work on to improve the sales and keep YA sales in the UK alive!

When words fail: A possible interpretation of Isabella’s silence in Measure for Measure: This is a response to Isabella’s silence at the end of Measure for Measure, which I read this month. I think it has a tragic ending for Isabella, honestly, and this is a really great interpretation of that scene

The Gay Love Stories of Moomin and the Queer Radicality of Tove Jansson: I can’t be the only person to have noticed the sudden influx of Moomin hype on Twitter, and I am digging it. Reading this is fascinating, and I think it’s incredible how much of Jansson’s life and experience as a queer woman can be seen in Moomin!

Openly gay pro strongman Rob Kearney marries his boyfriend: I will love and support gay athletes till the day I die. This article is so cute.

The Night Country: Melissa Albert previews her next Hazel Wood novel: The Hazel Wood was one of my favourite novels of 2018, so the sequel coming out so quickly is an absolute treat. This has the cover release- American, unfortunately, so I still have no clue what the UK cover will bring- but it does have the first chapter! I love and adore Sophia Snow and I cannot wait to have a new book girlfriend!

TV SHOWS/MOVIES/VIDEOS I WATCHED

Ryan Hollinger’s video on the horror of Coraline. Coraline is one of my favourite animated films, I’ve watched it so many times, and I love seeing people’s analysis of it!

I went on a bit of a Ryan Hollinger kick this month and also watched his Texas Chainsaw Massacre video where he analyses the presence of daylight in the film, unconventional in the horror genre

Karate Chopsticks plays a lot of Professor Layton games, so when I have some downtime where I just want to relax I’ve been watching him!

I watched a video on How Guillermo del Toro deals with trauma in his films that I found fascinating! It specifically talks about The Devil’s Backbone and Pan’s Labyrinth

With my friend Zara, I started the K-Drama BOYS OVER FLOWERS, which I’m honestly loving. It has some issues, but it’s basically a staple k-drama and I’m loving watching it and talking about it with her

MUSIC I’VE BEEN ENJOYING

Sucker by Jonas Brothers [I never really cared about these guys coming back but I’m glad they did, this is a really neat song]

SOS by Jonas Brothers

Big Time Rush by Big Time Rush [a TUNE]

Just in general I’ve really been enjoying The Band CAMINO, my favourite song by them is definitely Daphne Blue!

REVIEWS I POSTED

In Other Lands

Heartstopper

Starry Eyes

Four Film Reviews: The Village, Holes, Stardust, 13 Going on 30

Netflix Thriller Reviews

Three Manga Reviews: After the Rain Vol 1, RWBY Vol 1, Sweet Blue Flowers