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dustylogicalityrat · 3 months

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intro!

you can call me Logan or Layla! (yes, i stole Logan Sanders' name, let's move on!)

she/him pronouns! (no preference! just either of these!)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

DNI if you are/support those who are:

pro-genocide (fuck israel)

queerphobic

racist

ableist

sexist

anti-abortion

proshippers

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

fun facts:

! i have autism and ADHD

! i'm white-hispanic

! i use tone tags

! Logicality is my favorite ship

! blue is my favorite color

! my favorite fruit are mangoes

! i'm still questioning my gender, lol

! i have way too many favorite songs

! my favorite Sanders Sides characters in order: Thomas, Patton, Logan, Roman, Virgil, Remus, Janus (i love them all so so much)

! my favorite Roleslaying with Roman characters: Roman, Youngblood, Noise, Henderson, Britney (chapter III), Lilypadton, Aunt Patty

! my favorite musical theatre characters include: Michael Mell (Be More Chill), Seymour (Little Shop of Horrors), Ram Sweeney (Heathers), Martha Dunnstock (Heathers), Beetlejuice & Miss Argentina (Beetlejuice), Jared (Dear Evan Hansen), Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen)

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

things you can expect from me + possible triggers:

reblogging Palestine news (FREE PALESTINE.)

Logicality (but also plenty of other Sanders Sides ships!)

all lower-case or all-caps

possible fics? (if so, i only write Sanders Sides fics)

occasional drawings!

discussion of my experience as an aroace and genderqueer individual

discussion of my experience as an autistic and ADHD individual

learning to un-mask my autism and ADHD

possible vents? (i don't really post those kinds of things, but if i do, i promise to tag them properly.)

SO MANY reblogs... i'll work out some sort of tagging system...

discussion of special interests and hyperfixations which include but are not limited to:

+Thomas Sanders (honestly, he's basically the only thing i post about)

+Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

+Good Omens

+musicals

just a few examples:

>Be More Chill

>Heathers

>Beetlejuice

>Hamilton

(open to suggestions!!)

+Sonic the Hedgehog

+so many cartoons (again, very open to suggestions!)

+Will Wood

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

i've also realized i really like talking about myself. oh boy.

#updated intro post!#that other one was... oof.

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tracybirds · 1 year

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ack, I was determined to get this finished up tonight before sleeping even though I already missed the genderqueer and genderfluid day for @thunder-pride but no matter! I'm not doing a readthrough bc oof i need to be asleep so any typos I missed I will fix up tomorrow morning <;33

Brains is making some upgrades to the iR suits, both for trans Gordon but also a little bit for himself....I hope you enjoy <333

---

“Hey, Brains?”

“Y-yes, Gordon?”

The reply was automatic, Brains only half listening as he frowned and bent down over his workbench. Pieces of fabric and electronic parts were scattered in all directions, but his careful hands never hesitated as he worked on the newest upgrades to their suits.

“Do you think you could upgrade the hydrophonics system on Four?”

Brains looked up and blinked. If there was one constant across his career as an engineer, it was that interruptions always came at the moments that required the most delicacy.

They never seemed to occur during the more tedious moments of maintenance, or when he was merely adding final details that added nothing to the function. Always, always it was in a moment of inspiration, of innovation, of climatic concentration.

And if there was one constant across his time with the Tracy family, it was that the unexpected requests almost always were worth listening to.

He carefully lay the soldering iron aside and switched off the power.

“Why? Is it for someone’s research project, because I’ve told you before I’m not comfortable releasing data that could make the true scope of Thunderbird Four public.”

“No, no not that,” said Gordon, but his expression grew sheepish within seconds. “Okay, so maybe I haven’t thought about it fully yet, I just had the idea and I dunno, there’s just something inside me saying we’re gonna need it soon.”

Brains sighed. “Your squid sense?”

“Squid sense,” confirmed Gordon, hoisting himself up onto the bench in the little kitchenette opposite Brains. “Sound travels in water and greater sensitivity to the hydrophones, along with improved analysis systems, could help us pinpoint compromised structures much faster.”

“We’d need to develop a wider network to ensure we could triangulate the position,” murmured Brains, pulling up a holoscreen and beginning to type furiously. “Higher sensitivity means nothing if we can’t pinpoint the origin of anything we hear and the satellite array can’t penetrate deep enough. John, can you send me data for the current GDF ocean monitoring stations?”

“On it,” said John’s voice immediately. The family were well used to Brains’ sudden leaps in intuition and habit of requesting seemingly unrelated information without any preamble. “How high in classification do you need?”

“High enough to cover the oceans with a max radius around each station of 3000km.” Gordon’s face fell and Brains shook his head in response. “I’m not risking higher, International Rescue is already on shaky territory. Janus isn’t the only GDF operative who wants control over us and we mustn’t give them a reason to seize control.”

“You sound like Scott,” said Gordon, still pouting.

Brains hid a smile, torn between embarrassment and satisfaction.

“Done,” interrupted John, saving Brains from having to reply. “Anything else?”

“No, thank you John,” said Brains, nodding at him and running through the list. “Future project, I’ll let you know when it develops further. I suspect we’ll need a program.”

“Well, you have my number,” said John with a faint smile. “Gordon, you should rest while you can; there’s a storm system starting to intensify in the Northwest Pacific and we’ll need to be standing by if it makes landfall.”

“Sure thing, John,” said Gordon. “I’ve been practicing sleeping with my eyes open, getting real good at it now.”

Brains filed the proposal away, linking the compiled data and saving it into the folder containing all the suggested improvements that had been mentioned over the years. The folder for Thunderbird Four was at least twelve times bigger than the others, containing everything from more manoeuvrable propellers – “Brains, I’m sick of three-point-turning my way out of tight spots” – to the more impractical vacuum floor – “like the opposite of an air hockey table, it’ll be fantastic for cleaning up!” – and lots more besides. Gordon never seemed to mind that the vast majority of his ideas never came to fruition.

“What’re you working on now?” asked Gordon, peering down at the gear. “Increased frost tolerance? Electric self defence? Automatic Hood Destructor-nator?”

“Nothing so violent, I can assure you,” said Brains. “Sit down and do your ‘eyes open’ sleep while I finish this, then I’ll show you.”

“Right-o,” said Gordon with a smart salute and ridiculous grin. “Wake me up when you’re ready.”

Gordon didn’t sleep, but he didn’t talk either and left Brains to his work, fiddling with his holo-device and playing some sort of farming simulator. The hours ticked by and the circuitry inched closer to completion was every passing minute.

Finally, Brains lifted the suit, passing his hand carefully over the new display he’d added to the right breast.

Gordon seemed to know instinctively that he was done, or he’d been paying more attention than Brains had realised, because he jumped up at once.

“Oh cool!” he enthused, clapping Brains on the back. “What’s it for? You gave John lasers, do we all get that upgrade now?”

“No, this is something quite different,” said Brains quietly.

Gordon sobered immediately, taking in Brains’ serious look.

“Tell me more,” he said in the same gentle tone he used with the children he rescued.

Brains reached down to the wrist controls, and swiped to the new display containing personal information.

“I thought you might like to be able to make your pronouns more accessible. They’ll auto-translate according to region and languages heard by the radio receiver.”

He looked up, to see Gordon’s mouth moving without speaking, and flushed. “I’m sorry Gordon, I realise I may have overstepped. I’m sure you have more important things to worry about in the field, I just… know…”

Here Brains trailed off, his words somehow stuck in his throat.

“You just know what?” asked Gordon, his voice huskier than normal and to Brains’ horror he found his friend was fighting back tears.

“Oh my, I didn’t mean… that is I just thought that…” Flustered, Brains froze, halfway between stammering an apology and wishing very hard that the floor would open up and allow the earth to swallow him. He’d never wanted to put Gordon in such a position, and still he seemed lost for words.

Before he could make his excuses however, Gordon wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in tight for a hug. Brains squeaked, trying to escape and collect himself, but he soon realised that Gordon needed the contact and that the strange hiccupping noises were actually sobs.

“I’m sorry,” he said regretfully, wishing he’d never decided to make the addition a surprise, wishing he’d conducted his usual thorough process of consultation.

“Gordon laughed – a wet, warm chuckle against Brains’ neck – and pulled away. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” he said. “Happy tears, I promise. You’re right, getting misgendered mid mission’s not exactly forefront of my worries, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I hadn’t realised how much until you gave me a way to communicate it, that’s all.”

Brains smiled, still feeling awkward. He’d gotten used to Gordon’s wildly swinging emotions over the years, but he still found their intensity unsettling and he breathed deep and slow as he straightened his shirt.

“Yes, well, I’m glad to do it.”

“Really, Brains,” said Gordon earnestly. “Thank you. You always seem to know which problems need solving before we even realise there’s an issue. This means a lot.”

Now was his moment, Brains knew. He had a perfect opening, with the one person who would understand better than anyone, so why was his knees knocking together in sudden fear?

“I-I…” he began, then swallowed past the sudden ache in his throat. “I s-suppose, that is…”

Gordon grabbed his elbow and steered him towards the sofa.

“No rush,” he said. “But sit down, you look like you might throw up.”

Brains breathed in deep, running through steady counts again as he inhaled and exhaled.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about pronouns,” he finally said, his voice more a squeak than the steady calm he’d practiced in the mirror. “And how maybe… I mean…”

He wanted to say it so badly but the words wouldn’t form.

“Did you want us to use different pronouns for you?” asked Gordon, eyes wide. “We can do that, I mean no sweat, everyone did for me and I must have changed them a thousand times before I felt I knew myself well enough and even then sometimes ‘he’ doesn’t fit right, and you’ve all been really good about it, so I get it and you don’t have to worry and–”

“Gordon,” interrupted Brains. “P-please, let me speak.”

Gordon feel silent at once, his ears flushing red with embarrassment.

“I don’t know how to describe how I feel right now,” said Brains, looking at his hands. “Gender feels so far away here. Every day that passes, I feel more and more like myself and less and less like the son my family expected.”

“You don’t have to know,” said Gordon. “You can take your time, try things out. Maybe you’ll find you like being a guy best and that’ll be okay too. Nothing wrong with exploring a little.”

Brains nodded quickly.

“Yes, exactly,” he said. “I want to find out for myself, that’s what I mean.”

“Cool,” said Gordon with a lopsided grin. “I mean that’s so cool, Brains. Anything spring to mind?”

Here, he hesitated again, thinking carefully. He’d never been one to leap forward blindfolded, had always taken the path most carefully considered, but here all roads seemed to diverge into equal uncertainty.

He had Gordon though, who’d walked this road before, Gordon and the rest of his family, all cheering for Brains as he took the first step and the next and the next.

“I think I want to try agender,” he said. “Not worry about it, go with the flow. Try using they/them perhaps?”

“Go with the flow,” repeated Gordon , drawing out the vowel as he danced in his seat. “I like it.”

“Yeah,” said Brains, trying on their new perspective for the first time. “It is very new for me, isn’t it?”

Their facial expression changed at once.

“Oh help, I’m not a go with the flow person, what am I doing?”

“Relax,” said Gordon, cuffing their shoulder. “You don’t have to change yourself to use new pronouns. Nothing wrong with reflecting or being steady. It’s about finding who you are in the midst of the eddies, right?”

Brains exhaled and nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve got this.”

#gordon tracy #brains #hiram hackenbacker #thunderbirds are go #thunderpride #sometimes i fic #featuring my fave headcanon of the fam just casually hang out with brains in his workshop just bc #and he loves them all so much #brains is part of the family and i cry T.T #like the tracys themselves aren't found family but they also def are for brains T.T #they found him and he found them and i just love <3333 #okay i'll stop being sappy and go to bed lol #goodnight <3 #edit: actually you know what i've forgotten to do: put in brains' stutter bc it's ussually my last step #so i can maintain some consistency with his voice #darn brains' stammer is important to meeee for reasonsss #i will have to edit tomorrow #to ot of it now #pretend for me please and thank you <3

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emoprincey · 2 years

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Trans sides headcanons! Virgil is non-binary but rarely ever tells people because he doesn’t want to get disrespected or have to explain.

Patton is a trans male and he passes so well most people are surprised if it ever comes up.

Logan uses the term genderqueer because A, he can’t be bothered to explain the depths of his identity to everyone he meets, B, it’s none of their business anyway, and C, the real reason, he doesn’t know either and he’s actually really insecure about it.

Roman is transfeminine because it just feels like the correct vibe okay

Janus is bigender, male and female. Two faced in every aspect.

Remus is genderfluid because it keeps people guessing. What’s the gender today? Fuck around and find out.

This is all so real

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #virgil especially is a mood tbh #trans sides

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anxiouslyfred · 2 years

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Green

For @aro-sides-week day coming out / pride

Summary: Remus comes down ready to head to Pride but first he needs to come out to Roman and his friends.

Authors note: Sorry, brain tired so while I wanted this fic to be longer and actually include pride the words aren’t wording right.

/\/\

“Why can't I just wear all green? It's bright!” Remus moaned, as if he'd just been told to wear more colour the instant he'd come out, ready for the pride parade they'd be meeting their friends at.

Roman rolled his eyes, rifling through a box of pride pins. “I didn't say you couldn't. I asked if all the green is to match a specific identity or just because you like the colour?” He repeated, picking a couple out. Over the years they'd collected a lot of pins between them and the twins always used pride month to mix them up and swap any they'd like between them.

Remus leant over to nab a couple of the badges about Pride being a protest and a TERF repellent logo. “Would you actually know what labels would bring the green out if I said it is?”

“Can't say unless you tell me, but I also can't field questions for you without knowing.” Roman countered, smirking over his shoulder, “Are you waiting for me to guess?”

“Or make some Disney reference. It isn't like green is a good guy colour to that mega-corp you love so much.” Remus suggested, “Do you even know which flags have green as a main colour?”

Roman thought for a moment, “Agender or genderqueer are the ones that jump to mind first, sooo given your purple eyeshadow is this genderqueer colours for you, today?”

“Aromantic. Knew you wouldn't know it.” Roman cheered, throwing himself onto the sofa to cause the make Roman was now bringing out to scatter.

“REMUS! You're doing my eyeshadow for that! I want rainbows!” Roman scowled, scrambling to get them and shove Remus to sit properly. “So other than green, what does aromantic mean?”

“Ugh, fine.” Remus easily accepted the make up, tilting Roman's face to his to start after checking the colours around him. “I don't want romance, would rather just fuck or more often keep it as friendship. No attraction of the romantic sort.”

It's quiet for a moment as Roman takes in the information and keeps his eyes shut for the rainbow to be added. “That sounds good. Do the rest of our friends know or is this the first time you're telling any of us?”

“It's my coming out story! Hopefully I'll get to fight an a-phobe at pride and knock some sense into them!” Remus agreed.

“Let's try not to make the parade a riot today. Do you want the aro flag painted on your cheek?” Roman took the break with one of his eyes finished to look at Remus.

Remus wiggled in his seat, nodding, before bring the eyeshadow brush back to Roman's eyes. “Sure, Bright green, light green, white, grey, black. I'm hoping to get an aro flag while we're there, not sure if anywhere will have it though.”

“We'll go through every stall until we find one after the parade.” Roman promised.

/\/\

“Of course Remus found an identity that lets him be obnoxiously green.” Virgil groused, joining the twins at the meeting point they were going to join the parade at. “Are you picking one to match your favourite colour or is this a label you actually identify as?”

“I'm aro! The green is just a bonus.” Remus helpfully agreed, leaning over to swipe the rainbow facepaint marker over Virgil's cheek.

Virgil tried to dodge then grinned, “Do you mean aro like the romantic equivalent to ace?”

“Yep, and here come the last terrible trio.” He nodded, turning to wave at Logan, Patton and Janus who were all coming over.

None of them comments on Remus's outfit or the flag on his cheek, although Logan did raise an eyebrow after recognising it. They were all more excited for the parade than on commenting about Remus's identity given it would be starting soon.

#arosidesweek2022 #aro remus #remus sanders #roman sanders #creativitwins #virgil sanders #coming out #pride

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deceptive-danger-noodle · 1 year

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Blog Information~

About Me

Name: Janus

Age: ageless, adult [bodily 18 years old]

Pronouns: they/them, she/her, he/him default pronouns, ask for other pronouns

Orientations: polysexual, abrosexual, chaoticsexual, gay, demi-aroace, gray-aroace, demi-aplatonic, gray-aplatonic

Genders: genderfluid, genderflux, nonbinary, genderqueer, nonbinaryflux, girldox, boydox, chaosflux, genderfuck

Other Things: Plural (Mixed Origins System), Physically Disabled, Neurodivergent, and Chronically Ill, Tone tags are appreciated.

Do Not Interact

Fakeclaimers of any kind (including anti-endo people)

Syscourse or discourse blogs

Sexualize agere and/or petre

Radfems/terfs/swerfs/etc

Queer/liom/mogai/lgbt/plural etc exclusionists

Xeno-satanism

Maps/pedos/zoos/necros

Remrom shippers and supporters

Kink blogs (I have no problem with kink and kink communities, I would just rather they not interact with this blog because it connects to our other system blogs. /info)

Our Other Blogs

@the-milky-way-system -main system blog

@beehive-collective - system agere blog

@blurred-pride - the system’s liom/mogai/queer/etc. coining blog

@the-amazing-dragon-witch - Helio’s blog

@the-catboy-princess -Roman’s blog

@virgil-the-cat-bat - Virgil’s Blog

@ruff-rabbit-rhyme - Noiz’s blog

@intrusiveduke - Remus's Blog

@Sheep-n-Sleep - Emile's Blog

Alterhuman Identities

Ball Python

Bearded Vulture

Inky Cap Mushroom

Unspecified Yellow Dragon

Space

Unspecified Night Fury (HTTYD)

Toothless (HTTYD)

Longhair Diluted-Calico Ragdoll Cat

Tagging System

#Janus's Collection - My identity collection

#Deceptive-Danger-Noodle Updates - updates about this blog

#Creature Hours - Posts about my alterhumanity

#Beehive Co - posts about the system

#Janus Creates - things i make

#Reblog - reblogged posts

#DNI #tagging system #about me #blog information #pinned post

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transfemlogan · 2 years

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im new-ish here so sorry if this is an obvious question, but do you have trans headcanons for any of the other sides? 👀

HIII I have a million trans hcs always do not worry. I love talking abt trans sides

NOTE: i do bring up how i think some sides might not use prns or use neo prns or whatever, but i do still refer 2 them w/ he/him prns bcuz i might not have a set of prns i think theyd use. (Ex. I think roman uses neoprns, but I don't know which ones / my hc changes so I use he/him in this post. If that makes sense)

THIS GOT SUPER LONG SO IM PUTTING IT UNDER A READMORE !!!

I really like the concept of virgil being trans but not using a narrow label to describe himself. So rather than him identifying as a trans man or a trans woman or non binary, he just identifies as Transgender (or queer!). He doesnt use a specific label

I just feel like he either has so much anxiety abt his gender identity, he just doesnt focus on it at all & doesnt try 2 figure it out OR he has SO much anxiety abt his gender identity, he tries too hard 2 figure it out & has like a million labels he uses. No inbetween.

Roman TOTALLY hoards gender i bet that guy has like 300 genders & he doesnt stop getting more. I think Roman is just a very big hoarder of xenogenders & neo prns & even names. Like he gets a new name every month & with 3 new sets of prns. I feel like he has to scrutinise his gender & what it means 2 him & stuff bcuz he is the most insecure person on earth.

Patton & Janus 2 me r super chill abt their gender identity but in different ways

I tend 2 hc trans Patton as a gnc trans man. I think Pattons chill in the way that he knows what he is & he isnt worried too much abt if he "fits" that label. Like he 100% wears skirts & dresses & does his make up & does common "feminine" things, maybe still uses she/her prns, but isn't bothered abt whether or not that makes him a "real trans man." I bet this guy has ZERO gender dysphoria.

Patton sees someone talking abt what being a trans man "actually is" & hes like "i dont feel that way at all... oh well!" & moves on w/ his life. He is not worried at ALL. He is confident & happy w/ his identity. He ALSO def uses they/them prns (he/she/they patton REAL trust me)

Janus is also chill, but in the way that if he sees a label that fits him better he just changes to it without question. I dont have a stagnant trans label I give 2 Janus, i jump around a lot. I view Janus as like, "oh. I use the label (for example) demiboy, but I actually think trans masc agender fits me better. So i'm using that now" & then later is like "you know what? I think genderfluid fits me better, ill use that one instead" like he isnt freaking out if he relates to a different label or thinks hes something else. He's shrugging his shoulders & moving the fuck on. He also totally might use neoprns, i think he is a neoprn enjoyer. Janus changes his name 24/7, not due 2 gender rzns, but bcuz he is running from the police /j

REMUS IS DEF A NONBINARY PERSON. I cannot see remus as having a binary gender. This guy is genderqueer genderfreak agender gendervoid ANY OF IT. ALL OF IT !! Remus doesn't have a gender, but he definitely has a dead guy stored in the trunk of his car. He's too busy throwing bricks at people & going dumpster driving to have a binary gender. Roman took all the gender in the womb /j

Remus def doesn't use he/him or she/her prns but he either uses a set of neoprns OR doesn't use any prns at all.

And lastly, Logan, because u said "hcs for any of the other sides" which I am assuming means u already know what I tend to hc him as BUT!!! while I might change labels 4 Logan, I do tend 2 hc her as a she/her femme transfem genderfluid man. BUT i also really like genderqueer or xenogender user Logan!! I think Logan uses older terms 2 describe himself. Like rather than calling himself transgender, he prefers the term transsexual. He also 100% does so much research into trans history (OFC all the sides do but I think logan likes it in an autistic way) which is why he uses older terms.

ALSO LOGANS TOTALLY AUTIGENDER? I think he def has ASD & it affects the way he views his gender. Not in a "i dont get societal views about gender, so I don't understand my gender" but in a "i dont get societal views abt gender, so I understand my gender very well" (aka im projecting on2 logan) if that makes any amount of sense. Its more abt the fact that he wants to understand why people view gender a certain way & learning the "rules" around gender & making his own, rather than not understanding & rejecting the concept (which both r ok). He is a rule follower & a schedule needer what else can i say.

AND !!! JUST BECAUSE I CAN !!! I think the orange side is also very autistic but on the opposite spectrum from Logan (I JUST FEEL IN MY HEART THAT HES AUTISTIC. I KNOW IVE NEVER MET HIM BUT HES AUTISTIC TO ME. I can SENSE it.)

He 100% doesn't get the concept of gender so he rejects it completely. He doesn't get the "rules" & doesnt want to know them. Whether this means he is on the binary or nonbinary IDK i just know this man wants 2 fist fight the concept of gender.

#THIS WAS SOO FUN THANK U ANON. I LOVE TALKING ABT TRANS SIDES #ask #sanders sides #<- main tags bcuz i want other ppl 2 rblg & talk abt their trans hcs

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ttrpgheroes · 2 years

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Jen “The Lighthouse” Teach

Pronouns: they/them

System: Masks: A New Generation

Playbook: The Janus

Pitch: Anxious teenager figuring out their identity both as a genderqueer person and the Lord of the Seagulls

#jen teach #the lighthouse #masks characters

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tssidesfics · 3 years

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TSSides Anti-Fairytale AU

I’m not coming for fairytales. They have their place, but as an aromantic person...I do not feel seen. And then I decided to re-watch Enchanted (pirated, of course, because fuck Disney). And then this idea happened.

Patton was a child-king who married his best friend when forced to, and then she died in childbirth. He’s given Roman everything he could, but he’s lived his life dictated by the advisors who’ve used him as a puppet king his whole rule. He’s miserable because he doesn’t like how the system functions but he thinks he’s chained to tradition.

Roman copes with his complicated relationship with his father by questing and almost dying, like, every other week. Anxious attachment for days. Boy keeps trying very hard to find a princess and can’t seem to figure out why nothing will stick. To which Patton goes “oh. He got it from me. Oops.”

All I know is Remus is aromantic and aplatonic and exactly as chaotic as he should be.

Roman’s birthday. Ball. The classic. He greets all the noble families and he’s seen those losers a bunch before, but this time, he meets a new “girl” with a family he usually hates who intrigues him. He is not a girl and I will not be misgendering him because ew, but, gist: Virgil, transphobic rich parents forcing him to conform to gender roles, absolutely miserable, in Peak Bitch (gender-neutral) form. Roman mistakenly believes he’s cured and talks Virgil up a lot. Convinces himself he’s fallen madly in love.

Problem is, he tells Patton, who’s shocked he found a “girl” but absolutely is on-board, and then goes to the family to ask for Virgil’s hand and there’s no Virgil.

Thus begins the Mulan ripoff but openly trans where Virgil poses as a boy servant at the castle because his parents can’t get into the castle willy-nilly and it’s the safest place to be. Absolutely loathes Roman’s very existence because that dumb bitch flirted with him while he was a girl and therefore VIrgil thinks he is The WorstTM. Then Roman catches him grouching about and decides to solve this by teaching him sword-play, mostly to give him the excuse to beat on a dummy with a sword-shaped stick.

Meanwhile Roman is just le sigh I did it again. I connected more with a boy than a girl. Why did she have to run away? Now I’m doomed to be weird.

Well then assassins break into the castle and Ever-Paranoid Virgil immediately susses them out as bad news and uses the remnants of the ball to absolutely wreck them when they try to kill Roman and his father while they’re taking a rare opportunity to chat and bond. Patton decides he is Adopting This Child, fuck you, advisors, he’s as thin as a stick, and Virgil now gets to eat with the royal family.

It’s the first time Patton has ever actually told his advisors to go fuck themselves. It’s the first step toward a positive turnaround and it happened because Patton’s dad instincts took over and nothing in the world is more valid than that, fight me.

Enter genderqueer icon morally neutral witch, Janus, all pronouns, who’s trying to topple the monarchy to enact lasting change and didn’t want to dirty her hands right away, but honestly people are so unreliable. So he gets onto Patton’s crew as a handmaiden and excuse you who gave the king permission to be actually endearing?

Roman feels slightly weird because Patton’s calling Virgil “kiddo” and he’s not calling him his son but he also treats him very similarly as he does to Roman and Remus, which isn’t great but is significantly better than it could be, but Roman’s got a crush.

Then Janus finds out Virgil’s trans and reveals this. Virgil thinks he’s about to get blackmailed into murdering the only people who have ever cared about him and then Janus just rolls their eyes like “excuse you I’m evil not psychopathic. I can give you a potion to make your body reflect your mind. You in?”

“Great, so my only cure to stop feeling like frozen trash reheated in a forest fire is to accept the highly dangerous bribe of a definitely evil witch! Thanks! I hate it!”

Yes Virgil memes even in a fantasy world where Tumblr doesn’t exist.

Also Virgil and Roman are bonding. A lot. They’re getting very close and Virgil even lets slip that he loves Roman and then tries to fling himself out a window. Roman gets touched, stops him, and tries to kiss him, but Virgil leans away. Roman expresses confusion.

“I...I love you, but I don’t want to kiss you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either. But I’ve...never wanted to kiss anyone. For any reason.”

“But...you still love me?”

“I do. I’m sorry.”

Roman...doesn’t feel as rejected as he thinks he maybe should? Honestly, it’s not totally a relief, but it’s just kinda...neutral. It’s not even a disappointment.

Well, Janus is not evil and actually wants to run a kingdom (instating a committee mixed of educated rich fucks and working class receiving education) a whole lot more than Patton, who thinks she’s just...kinda awesome and very misunderstood. There’s a lot of hissing and grumbling that they’re not misunderstood, they’re evil, they don’t even have a tragic backstory, they just kill people to enact the change they want to see, just because they got ditched in a forest as a baby and was raised by a magic snake means nothing. The snake was a very loving and supportive parent.

Roman talks to Patton and Patton is like “fuck marriage rules. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck my advisors. My kingdom is a haven for the gays. All the gays. Of every color. Come here and be merry and queer.”

Virgil’s just like “yo no reason but in this new world where it’s okay to love whatever gender is it maybe cool to be a boy when the world says you’re a girl?”

Janus draws a knife and glares at Patton and Patton’s just like “even if my partner wasn’t threatening to kill me I’d say it was fine why?”

“No reason.”

“Virgil.”

“What?”

“Is there something you want to share?”

“No.”

“Is there something you need to share?”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re being defensive again, Storm Grouch.”

Virgil sticks his tongue out. “Fine. People used to think I was a girl and I have a stupid body. Happy?”

And Patton learns from Janus the fine art of Validating The Fuck Out Of Gender.

The advisors stage a coop and lock Janus in an anti-magic cage, and then at the same time Virgil’s biological nightmares track him down and steal a spelled green apple from Janus’ shop they give Virgil. You know the drill. Deep sleep like death, yadda yadda.

Well, they immediately claim the body making a big dramatic deal about how they have to bury “her” and they’ll take “her” home to see her off and it’s so tragic, just as they were reunited, when the reality is they have the antidote back home, they’re just looking for control over his life again.

Except Roman goes off. “He is staying here where he--where he will be buried under the name Virgil dressed properly and if you came anywhere near his body I’ll kill you myself.”

Guess what constitutes a totally platonic, non-kiss related act of queerplatonic true love, bitch? Fighting your transphobic partner’s parents over their dead body.

Kingdom’s retaken, sweeping reform while Patton retires to be a stay at home dad to fix his relationship with his kids. Virgil gets formerly adopted. The stepparent is actually a morally neutral genderqueer witch who runs the kingdom fairly and justly, the central love story is trans and aromantic, and my queer ass is something resembling happy.

Logan is probably one of the advisors and the only one with sense who probably starts knocking off his coworkers after the coop because they’re all deeply, deeply stupid. Remus probably spends half the story making friends with a troll he brings in to save the day in the third act.

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