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#funny yet confusing

proxycrit · 3 months

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Part 1 / Part 2

Emmet remembers when he and Ingo first brought Elesa to explore Celestial Tower, back when they were fourteen and thought they were immortal.

“Allegedly, the bell chime will bring ghosts home”, ingo had told emmet with the pompous knowing energy of a child who read way too much brochures. “It’s culturally significant! We must ring it.”

“Hmmm,” emmet had responded suspiciously. “Brother. The bell is at the top of the tower.” The implication stands: Ingo, there are thirty flights of stairs between here and the top, and no elevator to speak of.

Don’t be a coward, Litwick had told Emmet with the blaise tone of somebody who’s going to be piggy backing off of somebody else. Go ring the bell. Tynamo, sensing a litten fight, floated towards a loitering blitzle.

Ingo turns his lilipup eyes on Elesa, who’s squinting at the carved stone faces of the front door.

“Elesa? What do you think?”

Elesa thinks. She shrugs. “We already made our way here,” she said in accented galarian. “Might as well make it the rest of the way. Ganbatte!”

Emmet sighs. “This is a mistake,” he tells the two in exhaustive patience, but lets himself be dragged into the building.

Last time the twins were here, Ingo caught litwick— but not before she managed to nab a good chunk of Emmet’s soul. It’s not terrible; he felt fatigued for a week and bounced back pretty quickly, but it was the principle of the whole situation— celestial tower’s a pain in the ass and Emmet will stand by that until the day he dies.

Like right now.

The map isn’t working. Emmet checked it once. He’s checked it twice. He’s taken out his pen and written on it, which he would usually never do but desperate times call for desperate measures. The compass he brought spins useless circles. It’s like chargestone cave up here, but worse because instead if electric pokemon it’s all ghosts.

“We’re lost, yyup yup!” He announced to the crew. “I vote we eat Ingo first.”

“I love you too,” Ingo told Emmet placidly. “But we all know between the two of us, you’re the tastier one.” Litwick gives Emmet a thumbs up. Emmet gasps in mock affront.

“Elesa, help!”

Elesa gives the two of them a wary look. It took two floors for her to realize this is not just a weird temple with strange rocks, but a full out graveyard. She’s not very happy about that development.

“Don’t drag me into this,” she tells them. “Teme wa urusaii.”

“I will take that as a compliment,” Ingo reports back.

Emmet, who’s cheerfully struggles with Galarian on a good day, simply gives her a thumbs up.

The three painstakingly crawl their way up. And up. If all else fails, Emmet told himself, at least they can orient themselves towards high ground.

“We’re like pidoves,” Ingo gasps. He has fallen behind them on the stairs, with Emmet taking the lead through sheer spite despite his legs going numb on floor twenty two. “We, hah, we are attracted by the magnet of the bell, like, like probopass-“

“I am emmet! You are not making, sense!” Emmet called back. Elesa, who’s stuck between them and looking two steps from perpetual collapse, giggles.

“No, no hear me out, Ingo wheezes. “What if the bell’s a magnetic pole? And that’s why your compass doesn’t wo, woo, hahh, work.”

Emmet stops to rest, just because Ingo is using precious breathing air to infodump. Elesa gratefully slumps against the railing. Tynamo and litwick, lazy in their still small size, have settled on a weary blitzle and look very smug doing so. (Emmet is not jealous, he tells himself. Emmet is also lying.)

“The bell’s important,” Ingo had repeated.

“Okay,” Elesa responds. “If it’s important to you, then it’s important to us.”

And Emmet finds that he agrees with Elesa. Partially because they crawled up twenty fucking three flights of stairs, but also because Ingo thinks this is important, so it is.

And here’s the thing—

— emmet doesn’t remember much after that.

The rest of that trip was a blur of exhausted groaning and burning legs, and by the time the trio managed to breach floor thirty, people’s brains have all but dribbled out their ears. Emmet remembers being disgustingly sweaty. He remembers blitzle almost tripping to death and litwick’s swearing. He remembers tynamo sticking to his neck like a damp towel. He remembers Ingo’s excited sneasel smile, and the way the sunset bounced off of Elesa’s hair.

He remembers the brassy ring of the Celestial bell. It sounded like victory.

But it was Elesa’s cackle turned scream as Ingo swiped cold hands down her neck that sounded like home.

—-

So when the conductor at thirty one, lost and disoriented in the Impossible Place, heard the sound of a familiar bell, ringing over and over and over-

-the sound of laughter-

-EMMET! Elesa cried-

-like a homing pidove, the conductor, thinks nonsensically as something in him perks up.

(Emmet had always liked winning, more than anything else, and the sound of victory calls him home.)

—

Elesa catches lightning in a bottle. Elesa, arms outstretched, finds purchase in her brother, and does not let go.

Emmet is so, so cold, Elesa thinks as the wind steals air from her lungs. (That’s okay. She’s already breathless from a terrible business called hope.)

Emmet stares back. His hands flap against Elesa’s jacket. Elesa desperately drinks in his wan face and too wide eyes and his frost bitten lips. In a tiny, meek voice, almost lost to the wind, he asks:

“Are you real?”

Elesa lets out an ugly sob. Her tears whip away in the wind as they fall. Emmet’s frightened countenance turns immediately to alarm. His shaky grasp becomes a solid grip as they spin through the air, cushioned by chandelure’s psychic.

“I think so??” Elesa warbles. She sees Emmet’s eyes dart to her mouth. He’s reading mirroring her, she realizes with giddy delight— it’s such an Emmet thing to do, to read lips, and-

“I am Emmet,” Emmet breathes. His eyes have started to water. “Yyou are Elesa- Oh dragons, Elesa!?“

Elesa reaches. Hesitates.

Emmet grabs elesa by the lapels and crushes her tight against him. Elesa holds on, and the grief and relief in her accumulates into a wet sopping mess. She’s ruining his jacket, she mourns, but its okay because he’s dripping all over hers.

She can’t hear what he’s saying into her shoulder, can’t read what he says, but everything’s okay because every part of her is chiming

You came back

You’re here

I’m not alone anymore.

Around them, the air distorts as Chandelure’s psychic wavers, flutters, and solidifies. Gravity reverses its call as they settle gently on the ground, dust billowing in all directions.

The ghost pokemon drops next to them, shaking so hard the musical clang of glass makes Elesa flinch.

You fucks, Chandelure gasps. DON’T GO LEAPING OFF BUILDINGS, I AM NOT YOUR EMERGENCY PARACHUTE.

“I’m sorry,” Elesa gasps, still giddy from the adrenaline.

AND YOU! Chandelure howls, whirling on Emmet, who’s still staring at the ghost with huge eyes. He’s gripping on to solid ground with the energy of a man who realized he could have been a splat on the ground.

YOU LEFT!

Emmet winces.

You- You left us, you left me-

Ah, ah no, Elesa thinks as golden globules of light shed from Chandelure. This is what a ghost looks like crying.

Emmet holds out his arms. Chandelure drifts into his embrace, and shakes, and shakes, and shakes.

You left me, the ghost pokemon whispers. How dare you. How could you.

“I didn’t mean to,” Emmet whispers. “I’m sorry.”

Stop doing this to me, Chandelure demands. Golden brine joins human tears, like drops of sun trapped in wet glass. Stop going where I can not follow.

And Emmet holds his tongue, because he knows he can not promise staying. Not while Ingo and Eelektross are still in Hisui.

(In the back of Emmet’s hurt and shattered mind is a spark. Synapses connect. The cold breach of the Distortion does nothing to drown out the sudden flare of hope in Emmet’s chest, so great he can not breathe, so strong he can not feel, because there’s a path. A difficult, painful path through the Space that Can Not Be, but a path all the same.)

“Elesa, Chandelure-“ Emmet’s voice breaks. He wants to tell them about Eelektross. He wants to tell them about the terrible past that is Hisui. He wants to explain how the last five months were filled with horror and wonder and fear and hope.

Hope, he thinks. So he says this:

“I know how to get Ingo home.”

NOTES:

AAAAAND THAT’S ALL FOR THIS DRABBLE. ITS OUT NOW. I CAN FINALLY GO BACK TO POSTING HAPPY SHENANIGANS! (Now you know the shape of their story.)

Thanks for reading this monster of a post!

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jangmi-latte · 2 months

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malleus "i hate technology" draconia having beef with ortho wyat

#the latest update is so funny yet so confusing it's such a multiverse

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risetherivermoon · 7 months

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idk if itd be more in character for Regulus to have an instagram account that he has posted like two things on but for the most part doesn't use it at all, or if he actually has a really popular account and posts consistently,

#i think itd be more funny if hes like kinda internet famous yet no one in his actual life knows #or if they do they're so confused on why #marauders #marauders era #harry potter #hp #dead gay wizards #regulus black #regulus arcturus black #rab

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nayruwu · 3 months

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cat16 couldve been avoided if guren learned how to communicate and learned how to use both of his hands (WHY CANT I BE THE ONE TO HOLD SHINYA AND MAHIRUS HAND)

very interesting point! he does have two hands!!

on a serious note though, i think not being able to make a choice was kinda what doomed him. he could have chosen mahiru and become a demon like her so they could to to hell together. he could have chosen his friends and just not chased after mahiru, waiting out the end of the world with all of them alive and by his side. but he didn't, and in the end he lost them all.

which is very odd to me, because he was told that you can't have everything, that you have to abandon one thing to get another, so many times. by noya. by shinya. by mahiru. but he never learned.

(and since we still don't really know what exactly he's trying to achieve, who's to say he's not still trying to have everything?)

#sure hope he learned his lesson because otherwise that would be horrible writing #but it's actually confusing how many people try to get this into his head and yet he never really acknowledges it #my little dum dum....#sorry for talking realrap in a funny ask but i've been wanting to say this #regarding your other point #the gureshin form of miscommunication is just not communicating about anything at all ever because it may or may not literally kill shinya #haha #owari no seraph #seraph of the end #guren ichinose #shinya hiiragi #mahiru hiiragi #the sillies

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birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo · 1 year

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i had the dumbest fucking dream yesterday where pei ming and feng xin were sharing a flat that looked like a penthouse off the sims 3 late night and they wanted to keep other ppl from moving into the building so they kept having obnoxious parties but then feng xin started dating mu qing, who was playing the role of Responsible Girlfriend like in a shite comedy film to feng xin's Average Guy main character and pei ming's Slutty Party Friend so there was drama and bickering and such and it finally culminated in feng xin asleep on a chaise longue and pei ming trying to wake him up to open the gate and mu qing got so sick of it that he jUMPED INTO THE SWIMMING POOL FULLY DRESSED WITH SHOES ON climbed out the other side and picked up the still sleeping feng xin to carry him away

what the fuck is wrong with me u lot

edit: ok i caved and fixed the hinge thing BUT I WON'T FIX ANYTHING ELSE >:V we all have to accept my mistakes and SUFFER TOGETHER 😤

edit the second: OK NOW IT IS FIXED FOR REALLY REALS. I DEFINITELY WILL NOT BE FIXING IT AGAIN. WE LIVE WITH OUR MISTAKES NOW. THAT'S IT. that's it

#birb still draws #I AM MENTALLY ILL #anyway #fengqing #feng xin #mu qing #pei ming #tgcf #i was so confused when i woke up i s2g #i just lay there in my bed staring at the ceiling and wondering how my life has led me to this #when i was born my mother did not expect me to become this kind of person #she probably hoped i would be a doctor or a teacher or a rugby player #and yet here i am #a birb 😔#f in the chat for birb's mam #no i don't know why pei ming is wearing that #i just thought it would be funny #i know its scribbly shite work but I HAD FUN OK????#i did it for the craic #is this still an art blog?#birb's comics #tgcf fanart #天官赐福 #tian guan ci fu #mu qing looks like ur friend carrying their toy home in a huff bc u've had a quarrel over ur game 🤣#also i've made pei ming very shiny bc u just kNOW he would oil himself up and lay out in the sun all day if circumstances permitted #i don't even LIKE modern aus why did i DREAM of one??? ;A;#one day i will be a real artist #one day ;A;#i just noticed i've forgot one of the hinges on the gate pls pretend u do not see it

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pessimistic-gh0st · 5 months

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I've just realised that there is no one who actually knows me, not even myself I guess. And I don't know what to do with that to be honest.

#it's strangely comforting #but also profoundly isolating #yet simultaneously terrifying #i think overall it's just confusing #it's funny because it's true #pessimistic-gh0st #edited

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chimaerakitten · 6 months

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So with a few notable exceptions I’m mostly a genfic person, but even just looking in from the outside I’ve been extremely delighted to discover that Temeraire fandom has its own variation of the “Canadian Shack” post-canon ship trope except the shack is a mansion and the location is Scotland and/or the Peak District.

#always fun when fandoms have hyper niche yet widespread internally things going on #even if it’s not what I’m reading #I also think the confusion over the location of tharkay’s estate is very funny #temeraire

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tev-the-random · 2 years

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Me the moment Eddie and Oli slept together: aww, Eddie saw this little wet rat of a man in so much pain and decided to snuggle with him to comfort him and stay close in case he needed anything, Adoption Arc-

Tumblr the moment Eddie and Oli slept together: Sausage, He's Flirting With Your Dad

#there are two kinds of people #Tumblr will always find a reason to make a character a dilf huh-#(I'm joking please)#But this is so effing funny tho-#Minecraft Villager AI proceeds to make things confusing yet again #You can either take this as 'This is where Sausage got his protective nature from'#or 'This is where Sausage got his innuendo-making nature from'#Empires SMP #Mythical Sausage #Oli Orionsound #TEV Talk

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