"you should try fortnite with me and my friends, its free and its actually pretty good" my partner says. "impossible," says I, "but i'll do it for you"
Caption: Premature education.
[ID: A couple tries to teach their infant son table manners in the dining room. The mother stands behind the child's high chair, gesturing concernedly at the mess on the floor - stalks of asparagus, a half-eaten slice of bread and shards of broken plate lie beside the kid's seat. The baby holds a fork in one hand and a knife in the other. His father sits in front of him and calmly hands him another full plate. /end]
Mother: Well, of all the crazy ideas! Trying to teach a year old baby to eat with a knife and fork. Just look at that floor!
Father: Well, he's gotta learn sometime, don't he? Th' kid's clever! I'll have 'im eatin' steak in less'n a week.
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We got a number one Victory RoyaleYeah, Fortnite, we 'bout to get down (get down)Ten kills on the board right nowJust wiped out Tomato TownMy friend just got downedI revived him, now we're heading south-boundNow we're in the Pleasant Park streetsLook at the map, go to the marked sheetTake me to your Xbox to play Fortnite todayYou can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot LakeI really love to Chug Jug with youWe can be pro Fortnite gamersHe said"Hey broski, you got some heals and a shield pot?""I need healing and I am only at one HP"Hey dude, sorry, I found nothing on this safariI checked the upstairs of that house but not the underneath yetThere's a chest that's just down thereThe storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepareI've got V-Bucks that I'll spendMore than you can contentI'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer (cool pro Fortnite-)Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite todayYou can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot LakeI really love to Chug Jug with youWe can be pro Fortnite gamersLa-la-la-la-la-e-yaLa-la-la-la-la-e-yaLa-la-la-la-la-e-yaWill you be my pro Fortnite gamer? (Pro Fortnite gamer)Can we get a win this weekend?Take me to Loot LakeLet's change the game mode and we can Disco DominateLet's hop in an ATKTake me to the zoneI'm running kind of low on meds, I need to break some stoneDressed in all his fancy clothesHe's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a proHe just shot my backI turn back and I attackI just got a Victory RoyaleA Victory RoyaleTake me to your Xbox to play Fortnite todayYou can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot LakeI really love to Chug Jug with youWe can be pro Fortnite gamers
fanart of a restaurant sign I took a photo of years ago and could only find a low res picture of online. in my memory they were wearing black leotards and holding a big platter with a giant anime meat on the bone, which I still want to draw. my headcanon is their names are fork and knife
random clip. i think the 3 best things to happen to fortnite is no build, the hammer, and this rat skin. i’ve probably have more hours this season than any other. which isn’t really saying much but still