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pattypanini · 1 month

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Lay All Your Love On Me Chapter 8- On the Edge

Jake Kiszka x Reader and Josh Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 8.9k

TAGLIST

AN: Hi everyone! Here is the eighth chapter of Lay All Your Love On Me from me and @mar-rein12! This is a CRAZYYYY one. We will be compensating for everyone's therapy for this chapter and the next. Enjoy the eighth chapter, On the Edge.

Warnings: 18+, SMUT: Oral (M receiving), Sexting, Degradation, praise, SUBBBBB JAKE...., Dom reader, Cum play, Edging, Phone Sex

Vomit

Oh fuck. It felt like you couldn’t get out of your bed fast enough, you just barely got to the bathroom fast enough before releasing your regrets of last night into the toilet. Ughhh. You wipe your face with toilet paper, feeling a sudden wave of relief. Last night was something. Something you slightly forget, but also don’t. Ew. You walk over to the sink to rinse your mouth out with water and give them a quick brush before going back to bed.

When you wake up again, you roll over to your phone to check the time. 12:14pm. Not too bad for only having one class today. You saw a few messages on your phone but first a message from the GroupMe the musical uses to communicate.

9:47am Dr.Coleman: Hello everyone. Due to unforeseen events, practice will be canceled for today. Although, I can not force you to do anything I would highly recommend reading over your parts because we will be doing a full walk through sometime next week. I know it may seem early but we have to be prepared. See you All on Monday. Have a good weekend!

“Yessss.” You flop right back onto your bed and text Josh.

12:17pm y/n: I’m so happy we don’t have practice. What time did you wanna call tonight so I can make sure I’m free?

12:20pm Josh: Is 11 okay?

12:22pm y/n: Sounds good, my last class is done at 5 so I’ll get dinner with my friends and chill til then.

12:23pm Josh: I can’t wait, beautiful, I’ll be thinking about you 😘

You really liked this side of Josh, it gave you butterflies in your stomach. He was being so sweet to you, but you’d be met with completely different texts from his other half.

Holy shit. The texts that you received from Jake last night were far from being sweet and innocent.

1:37am Jake: Fuck y/n, you’re a dirty fucking slut. Grabbing yourself like that. Trying to lick yourself, I can do that for you baby. I’ll please you.

1:39am Jake: God you make me wanna touch myself. You bring out a different side of me. You take control of me, make me wanna do disgusting things. I bet you like that though.

1:40am Jake: I’m going to make good use of that pretty mouth tomorrow. You understand that? You're my dirty little secret, and I’m gonna get all the use out of you until this comes to an end. Just like these slutty pictures and videos you sent.

1:51am Jake: 1 Attachment: 1 Video 1:51am Jake: Fuck baby, you make me a mess. You see what you do to me, you make me cum so fucking hard. I wish your mouth was around my cock. That's what I think about, those beautiful lips of yours wrapped around my fat cock. Choking and gagging you, while I’m so deep down your throat.

1:52am Jake: I wish I could see your perfect tits as much as my fucking brother. It's not fair that he gets to see them just because he’s casted as your ‘love interest.’ If I knew it would be like that, I would have tried out.

He was really going through it last night, but what did he mean by ‘using that pretty mouth tomorrow?’

12:31pm y/n: Looks like you had a pretty late night, did you miss me?

12:33pm Jake: I did, but you seemed to have an eventful night too. I saw your private story. You looked drunk off your ass, how much did you drink?

12:35pm y/n: 2 shots of vodka, Long Island iced tea, Strawberry Daiquiri, Corona, maybe something else Idk. I kinda forgot honestly.

12:39pm Jake: What the fuck, how in the hell did you not get alcohol poisoning?!

12:41pm y/n: My body is immune I guess. I’m fucking feeling it this morning though, trust me. Now let me ask you a question. When you said ‘I’m going to make good use of that pretty mouth tomorrow,’ was that an in the moment thing or…

12:43pm Jake: Wouldn’t you like to know. Just keep your phone nearby today during class. See you later darling😘.

What the fuck does that mean. You decide to try your best to ignore it, getting ready for your day as usual. Even though you were doing the utmost to shake it from your brain, Jake was still lingering in the back of it.

—

You’re bored out of your mind, sitting there in your free elective, Introduction to Ethics. You completely regret taking this course, even though you heard it was an easy A. You thought about what would be happening this weekend, you were a little stressed. Hanging out with Josh and staying over at his apartment is one thing. But knowing Jake would also be there was stress inducing.

You were zoning out, only catching glimpses of the professor’s lesson. The boy next to you was very focused and interested, two things you were not. You glance over at him very unsubtly, taking a quick peek at his notes. His paper is almost completely filled up, whereas yours is still absolutely blank. His gaze catches your eye and he takes a look down at your notebook. He notices the empty page and lightly pushes his notebook over to you, allowing you to snap a quick photo.

“Thank you, I owe you one,” you send him a flirty wink.

He looks down at his paper, blush forming across his pale, freckled cheeks. “Anytime and if you need help with anything I can always be your tutor.” He pulls his notebook back and begins to scribble on it again.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you smirk at him. You were in fact not going to be keeping that in mind because the class was easy as fuck. You just didn’t find the subject interesting enough for you to care. You didn't care about moral relativism or utilitarianism, you just wanted to get out of the class.

You feel a vibration from under your thigh where your phone was located. You reach under and grab it, checking the notifications.

4:17pm Jake: Where are you?

4:18pm y/n: In class

4:18pm Jake: No shit, what building are you in?

4:19pm y/n: I’m in Angell, room 2224

4:20pm Jake: Okay, I’m on my way.

Why is he coming to my class? You were beyond confused, but since you were on your phone you decided to do some mindless scrolling through instagram. A few minutes later, another text comes through.

4:28pm Jake: Come outside the classroom, bring your stuff.

4:29pm y/n: Why?

4:29pm Jake: Stop fucking questioning me and get your ass outside.

You gather your things and quietly slip out the door. Your professor sends a little wave and a smile as you walk out the door, you reciprocate the gesture.

As you step out of the classroom you look left to see no one, then right to see Jake sitting on the cushioned chairs outside the classroom. When he looks up from his phone he stands and darts to the right making his way down the hall. You follow behind not knowing where he is going.

“Jake, where are you going?” Your legs pick up the pace. “If you're gonna make me leave class, at least have a reason.”

He stops suddenly, turning towards you grabbing your wrist. “I said stop asking fucking questions or else.” He throws your wrist back down and restarts his mission.

“Or what, Jake? You can’t do anything out here.” You boldly snap back at him.

“You're right, I can’t.” He grabs your wrist once more and drags you quickly to a specific classroom. When he pulls you inside you can barely see a thing. There are no windows, just a cement room, with a single skylight lighting the middle of the tiny classroom. You hear the sound of the door locking as he stands in front of it.

“Get on your knees.” You hesitate, everything happening so fast. “I said get on your fucking knees y/n, or are you deaf?” His aggressiveness takes you back a bit. You shrug your backpack off, then slowly make your way onto your knees.

“I’m gonna say it once, what you did last night was slutty. Teasing me with that fucking video knowing I couldn’t do anything about it other than touch myself. So you're gonna pay me back and use your mouth the way it should be used, sucking my cock. Not trying to suck your own tits, got it?”

“Oh! So, that’s what this is?” You push him back against the door, slowly begin to unbuckle his pants. “Poor Jakey just needs his cock sucked? You’re just so desperate for a blowjob that you use my video from last night as an excuse to get one. You know I could have been sucking some other guys dick last night.” You pull his boxers down releasing his cock, slapping against his stomach. “Does that make you mad, knowing my lips could have been wrapped around some other guy's cock, not having to keep it a secret.” You press light kisses onto his throbbing tip. “So fucking horny for me baby, so I will suck you off, but tell me why you actually want me here.”

He looks down to you, completely in awe. “I needed you baby. That video you sent me last night was so fucking hot. I just need you to suck my cock, please, I’m begging.”

You teasingly lick a stripe up the underside of his dick, not making any moves to go further.

“You're gonna have to beg a lot more Jakey, you think you’re in charge here but you’re not, and I’ll tease you as long as I want until I think you’ve earned it.” Placing a few more kisses down his cock.

“Please baby, I’m so fucking desperate for you. I cum just thinking about you at night, thats how fucking bad I need this. All I’ve ever wanted was your lips wrapped around my cock. I hear people talk about it and it makes me want it even more. Making the excuse is all I could think of to get you to suck me off because I didn’t wanna beg, but I will. Please y/n, I’m so fucking horny for you I need this.” He looks down to you with begging eyes.

“Such a good boy, Jakey.” You say as you once again take his cock into your hand. You hear him whimper slightly under his breath. “Does someone like being called that? You put up this dominant front, but you're just a little bitch who wants to be told what to do. Isn’t that right?’

Another whimper escapes his lips, solidifying the fact that yes he did enjoy being called ‘a good boy’.

“Tell me what you think about baby, tell me all the things you think about alone when you're jerking off. If you stop, I'm gonna leave you to finish it yourself.” You fire at him, you feel your own wetness beginning to pool in your panties.

Jake’s POV

Fuck. You almost came just from that alone. This is everything you’ve ever wanted. Since freshman year, you had it bad for her. Hearing what she did to all those other guys made your blood boil. But now it's your turn. You were her bitch and you couldn’t give one shit.

“Please y/n I’m so desperate I’ll tell you anything.” You can’t help but be a submissive mess for her, she just has such a fucking hold on you.

“So tell me Jakey, how long have you been thinking about me when you touch yourself, and what you think about.” She takes your cock all the way into her mouth, pulling it back out, sending your head against the door. “Oh and Jake…” You look down on her. “No cumming til I say so, got it?”

“Fuck- anything for you, darling, anything,” You whine out as she bobs her head up and down, slowly, on your throbbing cock.

She looks up to you with her big doe eyes, waiting for you to start talking.

“Oh fuck, um, the first time I saw you, you were all- all I could think about.” You struggle to get any of your sentences out, as she resumes her painfully slow bobbing on your dick.

“I would look at your insta all the time. I would think about what it would be like to get with you. I would purposefully go to the dining hall when I knew you’d be there, oh fuck, just to get a good look at you.” Your breathing picked up as soon as y/n started humming around your cock, inducing an unholy moan to release from your throat. “Once it started getting around to the school that you were just sleeping around I was pissed, not at you, but at the guys you got with. I wanted- fuck- I wanted nothing more than to be one of those guys.” She picks up the pace on your cock, making you close to losing it. “And since I couldn’t be one of those guys, I thought about what it would be like.”

You shut your mouth, trying your very best to stop your moans from slipping past your lips. You’re silent for a few minutes as she continues to work on your cock, but after noticing the silence she pulls away.

“Are you scared someones gonna hear baby, isn’t this what you wanted? You wanted to let everyone know that I sucked your thick cock. That’s all you’ve ever wanted, so enjoy it baby. Savor it. Or else you're not cumming, at least not from me, you can do it yourself. Slut.” She was spurring you on, bringing you even closer to orgasm.

You watch her intently as your hands travel to the shoulders of her shirt, balling them up in the palms of your hands. She slows down and pulls her mouth off slowly, leaving a string of saliva hanging from her lips connecting her to your dick. “You want this off Jakey?” She says grabbing at her shirt. You nod frantically, your eyes fully concentrated on her. “All you have to do is ask, tell me what you want.”

“Please y/n take off your shirt, let me see your perfect tits.” She smiles back up to you. Her hands grab at the hem of her shirt, swiftly pulling it over her head, leaving her in nothing but a little baby blue mesh bra. It wasn’t covering much, because you could fully see her nipples through it. “Please baby, can I take it off. I wanna see everything. Wanna see your pretty tits” She nods, your hand trailing behind her back, clipping it off her and letting it fall to the ground.

“Such a slutty man, I like that.” She brings her hand near her mouth before spitting into it, and pumping your cock. “Now tell me what you think about Jake, you know… when you're jerking yourself off to me like a fucking whore.” She’s gonna be the death of you.

“I think about a moment just like this, you sucking my cock. Most of the times I finish in your mouth and you swallow it, but other times I- fuck- I cum on your tits.”

She smiles up at you with a malicious look on her face. “I like that idea, wanna make that happen right now.”

“Ughhh fuck baby you’re gonna make me cum.” Your hand goes to her head, pushing her mouth back down around your cock. “Please let me cum baby I’m so close.” Her head bobs up faster and faster.

She pulls back for a moment and continues jerking you off. “Cum for me Jakey, show me how much of a good boy you are. Come on, cum all over my tits Jake, fulfill that fantasy, you dirty little slut.” With a few more pumps you're on the edge and can’t take it any longer. You release all over her tits along with screaming her name.

“Fuck y/n… Holy shit baby. You’re fucking perfect.” You say as you’re panting for air.

She looks up to you while her fingers go to her tits, gathering as much cum as she can get before sucking it off her fingers, continuing her deep eye contact.

“You’re a fucking maniac. You make me wanna tell everyone about you, I want you so bad.” She begins to stand up wrapping her bra back on her.

“You wish, Jakey.” She grabs her shirt pulling it back over her head. “Hopefully that’ll hold you over, and give you something new to think about. See you soon.” She sends a wink your way as she grabs her bag and makes her way back out the door she just came from.

Wait- what the fuck just happened?

y/n’s POV

As you make the grueling walk back to your dorm you take a moment to reflect on your actions of today. If someone had told you a month ago that you’d just finished sucking off Jake Kiszka in an empty classroom, you’d never believe them. Especially a begging submissive one, but I guess that’s just the effect you have on people.

As you open the door you’re met by Charlotte sitting on the couch staring at you like a parent waiting for their child to come home from a late party. She sat there with her arms crossed as if she was sitting there for a while just waiting for you to walk in. She glares at you as you drop your backpack off at the door.

“Where were you?” She questions beginning to cross her legs.

“In class?” You give her a weird look. Why is she interrogating you?

“Wellllll, you are late getting home. You usually get back around 5:15ish, it's 5:47, why so late.”

“Why are you acting like the police? It just took me longer to get back today, that's all.” You begin to walk back to your room, but Charlotte follows quickly behind you.

“Well that’s what I’d normally expect, but Sierra told me you left class early today, and she wondered if you went home because you were sick. So I just wanna know where you were.” She raises an eyebrow at you.

Shit.

“Well, I wasn’t feeling good so I went to the bathroom, I threw up a little.” You’re quick to defend yourself, hoping she won’t see through your lies.

“Makes sense. I know you like giving head, but I didn’t think that meant you’d start throwing up cum, you know since it’s dried up around your mouth.” You quickly look in the mirror. There it was a little patch of dried cum right in the corner of your mouth, definitely not one of your best moments.

“And not to play investigator but I went onto snap maps and saw that Josh was on the other side of campus, so who were you with y/n? Oh wait, I actually know because I saw you and another familiar bitmoji in a random classroom. So how long have you been fucking Jake Kiszka?” Charlotte shot you a knowing look, as you sigh in defeat.

“Ugh fine. We fucked ONCE, okay? Just one time. It was nothing serious.” You shrug it off as if it was nothing. Charlotte’s eyes widen, and you feel a pang of guilt sharpen in your chest. “Plus it’s not like Josh and I were a thing. That was all after he stormed off about being friendzoned.”

“Oh my fucking God. Does Josh know?” She questions you, you could tell she felt a little hurt that you’d kept such a thing from her. You usually tell each other everything.

“Umm, not really. So, you CAN NOT tell him, understand?” You were practically begging her, you couldn’t risk Josh finding out.

“You know I can’t lie.” She says with her puppy dog eyes.

You sigh, “I know Char but you need to not say anything. Okay? Don’t be around him, avoid him.”

“Okay I’ll try, so you guys just fucked in that classroom?”

Now realizing there is more to the story and you have exposed yourself you decide to come clean.

“Well not technically…”

“But you said you only did it once… OMG. y/n. It has happened more than once. When?”

I’m going to hell.

“Umm, the night I went to apologize to Josh.” You avert your eyes to the floor, avoiding eye contact. You were embarrassed and ashamed.

“HOLY SHIT y/n.”

“I know, I know it sounds bad, but when I went over he wasn’t there. But Jake was, and he comforted me. And then he fucked me, like it was crazy.” You put your forehead in the palm of your hands,realizing everything you just said. “OMG Char! Wait, never mind its TMI.”

“NOPE share you shouldn’t have brought it up if you didn’t want me to know the details.” She smirks at you with her pink lips.

“I don’t know how else to say this then just say it so, he made me squirt.”

“OMG OMG WHAT. This is actually crazy y/n. You should be telling everyone this.”

“No that's the thing, this whole thing is a secret. You weren’t supposed to know. While Josh and I aren’t dating it would kill him to know I fucked his brother, you can not tell anyone. None of my friends, none of yours, don’t even think about it okay? After this conversation it never gets brought up ever again.” You stick your pinky out to her, waiting for her to reciprocate the action.

She can tell this is stressing you, so without a fight she sticks out, sealing the pinky promise. “Just one more question and then I’ll never mention it again. I promise, pinky promise.”

You roll your eyes, “What Char.”

“What did you actually do in that classroom today, then?” She was on the edge of her seat.

“I sucked him off, it was crazy Char. You're not gonna believe this when I tell you. But he was begging, and whimpering, it was insane. He was so submissive. I never pictured him to act that way”

Her jaw opens, not being able to hide her reaction. “And I found out that he 's liked me since freshman year and that he jerks off thinking about me. He spilled so much about what he was thinking about, it was foul.”

Her mouth turns into a huge open mouth smile. “OMG, Jake Kiszka being a sub is not what I had on my spring semester bingo card. Did he call you mommy?”

“OMG nooooo. N-no, he didn't.” You were a little flustered after picturing him saying it in your mind.

“Would you let him?”

“Um, I-I don't know. Need any more details about my sex life?” You joke to her.

“I just wish my life was this interesting, I’m living vicariously through my sweet y/n.” She smirks at you and playfully shoves your shoulder. You roll your eyes at her, a chuckle passing through your lips.

“I’m just saying I haven't gotten any action in a while. Whenever you and Jake are done just pass him over my way.” Charlotte winks at you and turns to exit your room. You sigh and collapse onto your bed.

Why did things have to be so complicated? Why did you have to have feelings for the Kiszka twins? You were so confused, and quite frankly didn’t know where to go from here.

You loved the thrill you got when you were with Jake, the unpredictability and excitement was all consuming in his presence. Whereas with Josh he was so sweet and a charmer, for sure. The Sun and the Moon. The light and the dark. And with each day passing by, you didn’t know if you were more eager for the light to slowly creep in or the darkness to encompass you.

The evening was boring up until dinner. You laid in bed, did some homework and watched a few episodes of Victorious with Char out in the living room. While in the middle of an episode you and Charlotte get a text from your groupchat.

7:18pm Ari: Wanna walk the track after dinner, have a little yap sesh?

Char looks to you for an answer, not wanting to make the decision herself. You nod and reply back.

7:18pm y/n: Yes def.

You make your way back to your room and grab a pair of running shorts and a t-shirt. You slipped on your Hokas and pulled your hair into a slick back ponytail. It had been a while since you ran and were looking forward to it. The musical has taken up most of your time so having time for your physical health would be nice.

Making your way to dinner, you and Char meet up with Ari and Mae, spending your time like you always do, ranting about your day and anything else on your mind. But the track was for gossip. What is said on the track stays on the track.

You take the first 30 minutes to run, pacing yourself and taking your breaks as needed. It had been a while so you were a little rough around the edges. After the first thirty you catch up to the group and join in on the convo.

“He’s actually so attractive though, like in a dilf-y way.” Char says.

“How old is he Char?” Ari asks, not knowing if she really wanted to know the answer.

“I don’t know, maybe like 50 something. He’s beekeeping age. OMG he actually keeps bees, that's so funny.” Char says giggling and twirling her hair around her finger.

“Char, have you ever heard of the term bimbo?” Mae asks sweetly.

“Um I don’t think so, what does it mean?” Char innocently questions.

“Doesn’t matter, just know you are one in the best way possible. You’re just so cute.” Mae replies.

Char smiles and keeps on walking with pep in her step. She's adorable.

“So y/n, are you gonna see Josh soon?”

“I am actually. I’m going to be calling him tonight to work on some musical stuff and tomorrow he’s taking me out somewhere.” You state.

“So a date? I thought you guys were just friends.” Char probes. You’re hoping and praying she does not bring up the things that went down between you and his twin.

“We are just friends.” You say sternly. “I’m sure it’ll be something casual, but I’m also hoping it’s somewhere nice. You know they have money to spend.”

“Maybe you’ll stay the night at his place. You’ll be able to see Josh and Jake.” She sends you a devious wink.

Are you serious Char? You shoot her a glare, telling her to knock it off. She catches your drift.

“But I’m sure you don’t wanna see Jake, I would want to though.” Char says with a smirk.

“Well you can have him Char. Maybe I’ll ask if he is looking for a cute ginger girl.” You joke around with her.

Deep down, you wanted Jake all to yourself and you couldn’t help but think he'd want the same. You know how bad he wants you, and knowing that makes you want him more. But there’s Josh. You couldn’t ruin your friendship with him, or did you want something more than just that too? It was all very confusing. But you knew at some point a decision would have to be made, but now was not the time for that.

“Omg I would be perfect for that position.” She says all giddy. Everyone rolls her eyes and laughs about her comments, she truly is a bimbo.

After walking for an hour, Mae somehow convinces everyone to hit legs. You didn’t mind though, you liked the way it made your body feel. How strong you felt after. At around 10:05 you all begin to make your way back to your dorms, saying goodnight to Ari and Mae for the night.

When you're turning the corner to go past the dining hall you run into some familiar faces, the Kiszkas. Along with them their third brother and dad. Your eyes shoot open and smile at them. You and Char slow up to say hi to everyone.

“Hi Josh.” You smile at him and then turn to Mr.Kiszka. “Hi Mr. Kiszka, I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you.” You reach your hand out to shake his. He grips your hand in his, giving it a firm shake.

“I know exactly who you are, y/n, I noticed you during last year's play. You did very well with your role, a very underrated character.” You thank him for noticing your talent. “My son has told me a lot about you.”

Oh shit. “Um, which son?” You giggle jokingly, but you're not joking at all. You look at Josh who is giving you a strange look, while Jake has a proud look across his face.

“Well Josh, unless you also know my son Jake.” He grabs Jake by the shoulder and shakes him a little, teasingly.

“I know Jake through Josh, never really got to know him though.” You look at Jake, who is shaking his head with a giant smirk plastered on his beautiful face. You turn your attention to the youngest of brothers, who was sporting a t-shirt and short shorts. He has gorgeous long hair that framed his face perfectly, it made you jealous. “I don’t think I’ve ever met you though?”

The youngest brother reaches out his hand for a shake. “My name is Sam, I might be coming here next year.” He smiles holding your hand a little longer than the average handshake, and with a little too much eye contact. You smile at him not wanting to be rude.

“That’s awesome, are you guys all taking a look around campus now?”

“No, no.” Mr. Kiszka butts in. “He has been here enough times to know the layout, we just came to visit these two, and go out for a quick dinner and go to see an old buddy who was in a band when I went here. I don’t know if you have plans, would you like to join us?”

You look at Charlotte who has a grin on her face. “No thank you sir, I hope you all have a great time tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow Josh. Goodbye Mr. Kiszka, it was nice to meet you.” You grin at him “It was also nice to meet you Sam, hopefully I’ll see you around next semester.” You say innocently, knowing that his intentions were to not come at all to college. Do you say bye to him? If you don’t it's even weirder.

“Nice to see you Jake. I hope you all have a good night.” You give a final wave before heading back to the dorm.

“That was awkward.”

“Oh shush it Char.”

As soon as you make your way into the dorm and the door clicks shut, you turn to Char.

“Char, did the convo we had earlier mean nothing, I said that information about Jake can not get out.” You widen your eyes at her, and you can tell she feels bad about it.

“I know I’m sorry. I wasn't even trying to bring it up, it just happened. I promise I won’t bring it up again.” She says with her big green eyes staring at you. You can’t stay mad at her. She has such a forgivable face. Which is probably why she’s able to get out of a lot of trouble when she is caught doing something she's not supposed to.

Like how Freshman year she was able to convince the police officer to not breathalyze her because she had asthma and didn’t want to start having a coughing fit. Somehow he believed her. Which you still don’t see how because she was absolutely obliterated and looked a complete mess.

“I’m gonna head out for a bit, Jonathan asked me if I wanted to stay the night at his place. So if you wanna have Josh over…”

“He will not be over, have a good night. Be safe.” You smile at her as she heads right back out the door.

After Char leaves, you shower and relax for a while until you receive a text from Josh.

12:23pm Josh: Hey I know it’s a little later now, if you don’t want to call I understand.

12:24pm y/n: I’d love to still call you Josh. Do you wanna facetime or call?

12:26pm Josh: Facetime, I miss your pretty face.

Oh jeez.

As your phone begins to dial, you do a quick check to see if you look okay. Your hair was beginning to dry and slight curls were beginning to form. You click the green button at the top of the screen and are met with a white ceiling.

“Josh?”

“Hey, sorry I was just getting in some pants, not that me being pantless would bother you.” He says as he drags a towel over his wet hair.

You roll your eyes, “Yeah Josh I definitely wanna be staring at your dick all night, sounds like a blast.” You say dryly, but knew that it wouldn’t be an awful way to spend the night. “So how was your evening with your family?”

“It was alright. My dad’s friend isn’t as good as he said he was, but what else is new. My dad seemed to really like you though, and my horny brother.”

You laugh at his statement. “What is that supposed to mean Josh.”

“Well as soon as we left and my dad was out of earshot he was saying some… things about you. So if he adds you on anything, don't add him back.” You check your insta and long and behold you had a new follower, @samfkiszka.

��Don’t worry I won’t, I don’t go for polite men anyways, that's why I got with you.” You say in a snarky tone.

“I was very kind to you.” A moment of silence. “Okay I wasn’t in the beginning but I am now, plus what he was saying when you were not there was far from polite.”

“Like what Josh, It can’t be any worse than what a normal highschool senior says.”

“Well if I remember correctly, and I have a fantastic memory, it was along the lines of, ‘well I normally wouldn’t go after older women but I wouldn’t mind a little cougar action. I mean her ass was pouring out of those tight, little shorts. I wouldn’t mind hitting it from the back, you wouldn’t know of any tattoos she would have on her back would you Josh?’”

Your jaw drops, “Um, well that wasn’t what I was expecting. I’ll make sure to steer clear from him.”

“Yeah he also said ‘that's another perk of coming to Michigan, the hot chicks, like Miss. y/n over there.’ It made me jealous.”

Jealous. Hmmmm.

“Really, Josh Kiszka is getting jealous, I would have never thought you’d admit it.” You say cocking your head to the side.

“Well, I don’t think anyone would be fond of hearing their younger sibling say that type of shit. Jake is different because we're like the same person. But my younger brother, um no.” He giggles.

Him and Jake were very much, not the same person. In more aspects than one. “So why didn’t your mom come up?”

“She was busy with my sister tonight. I don’t know if I ever mentioned her. She’s the middle child of all of us. But she doesn’t go here, she goes to a smaller college up north.” ‘

“Makes sense. Maybe I’ll meet her at some point. “ You hint to him. He smiles, but then goes quiet.

“I don’t know if this is too forward, and you don’t have to answer. We have been getting closer as friends and I just wanna know you and everything but dont feel the need…”

“Josh, please just spit it out. I promise I won’t get offended. You called me a slut like every single day so it probably won’t be that bad.”

“Yeah sorry about that. I just wanted to know about your mom. Like I know your parents are divorced but like do you still see her? I couldn’t imagine not seeing my mom.”

You sit there pondering on how to respond. You don't want him to feel sorry for you like how everyone else does, but you wanted to be honest with him.

“No, we don’t talk. We haven’t talked since I was maybe… what, like 10 years old? I have kinda lost track over the years.” You prepare yourself for the pity and sappy sympathy.

“Man, that must suck. And if you don’t mind me asking, why did they divorce?” You’re taken back by his bluntness, but it's also a little refreshing.

“I mean, yeah, at first it did suck but I’m used to it now. My mom was an addict. My dad tried to get her help, but she just refused. She stopped taking care of herself, then me. It wasn’t good. My dad had to divorce her and then he took her to a facility. She was there for a while and then I heard from family that she was out but relapsed right away. So I don’t know the current situation.” It was silent for a little, which is the normal reaction to everything. “Sorry if you didn’t want to know all of that, I just felt comfortable telling you. I haven't really told anyone else other than my close friends, but telling you felt right. I'm sorry.”

“y/n stop, you should not be sorry. I’m glad you opened up to me, I feel closer to you, in a different way than I ever have.” It was cute watching him get like this. He was very empathetic, in the best way he could. You could tell that he was not the type of person to be open with his feelings, or discuss others. You see him open his mouth to say something else but decide not to.

“I don’t expect you to make a whole speech about how it was wrong and that you feel bad. I’ve heard it all my life from whoever found out, well about the divorce part, not the drug part. That's a whole different thing. But just don’t see me differently. I just wanted to share because you asked and I felt comfortable telling you.”

He nods to you, still with a concerned look on his face. “Thank you for sharing, I promise I will never tell anyone. It sounds like a lot, but you turned out to be a really good person. Your dad must have done a good job raising you.” You smile thinking about your dad.

He was a tall skinny guy, similar to the statue of Coraline's dad. He wore his rectangle framed glasses and had a really good personality despite working in the office everyday. He always told you that you are his whole world, and that no matter what happened in his life, it would always get better when he remembered you and how proud he is of his daughter. He is dating Celia, his girlfriend, who you grew fond of over the years. She acted as the mom you never had growing up later in life. When your dad found out that you were going to Michigan he was upset that he wouldn’t be able to see his ‘little girl’ everyday, but he was so proud of you for getting into an amazing school. He is your biggest supporter, and you truly wouldn’t be who you are today without him.

“He did an amazing job raising me. I miss him so much.” The conversation made you realize you haven’t called your dad in a week or two, you were definitely going to have to call him soon.

“I know I always made fun of you for your, um, sexual history and other things, but I truly always saw you as perfect. With singing, acting, your personality, everything. I’ve never met a person who was as perfect as you in any aspect.”

“Josh, that was really kind of you. Like seriously it’s nice being told I’m more than just a slut for once. Like I’m aware I’m not the most prude person, but I don’t really care that I sleep around either. Being called a slut is whatever from random people but it hurts when you would do it. Especially because I wanted you to like me.” You shyly look at your comforter and play with the fabric.

“Well knowing that now I won’t call you that anymore. I promise, other than if the moment calls for it.” You scrunch your eyebrows.

“What type of moment?”

“You knowing when we are fucking and your doing something whoreish. But I don’t actually mean that you're a slut, just an in the moment type thing.”

“I get it. It’s bold of you to say that we’ll be fucking in the future.” You give him a smirk

He tilts his head to the side, giving you a ‘are you serious’ type look.

“What?” You question louder to him.

“We’ve been horned up for each other the past couple weeks and we're finally hanging out tomorrow night. I mean I don’t wanna predict anything but…”

“Well personally I was just thinking about the amazing night we had planned. I never even considered it.” Giving him a sarcastic look and a grin looking at his perfect face. “Your eyes look really pretty right now Josh.”

His cheeks begin to turn pink. “Are you trying to butter me up or something?”

“No. What, I can't just compliment you?”

“No you can. I love when you compliment me mama, it makes me feel good.” He smiles at you. “And when you give me other types of compliments, well those make me feel really good.”

“Like what Josh?” You giggle at him, prodding for more information.

“I really love when you call me names, and talk me through everything. Just thinking about it makes me horny. I wish you were here right now. I’d make you feel so good.”

“You can make me feel good tomorrow.” You say what you were both thinking about, knowing it was inevitable for it to happen.

“Or we help each other out right now?” He says with a devious grin on his face.

“I can’t really suck you off through the phone Josh.”

“Just talk to me mama, tell me all the things you would do to me if I was there.” You watch as his grin widens, his sparkling straight teeth shining through his pouty lips.

“What are you gonna do Joshy?”

“Well I’m gonna jerk myself off, and you can touch yourself, if you want. I wanna hear your pretty moans, don’t hold back for me, yeah? I want you to talk me through it, can you do that for me mama?”

You were taken aback. You never really did this with anyone, but you were an adventurous person and would try everything at least once.

“I can do that for you Joshy. I wanna see your body though. Can you tilt it down so I can see that perfect body of yours.”

He smirks at the camera before tilting the camera down, showing his bare abs and pants.

“I know you like my body mama. I love the way you feel me up and down during practice. Gets me going so much. Wanna take you right there on stage, so everyone can see.” Josh says as he begins to palm himself through his pajama pants. “Are you home alone?”

“I am, so I can be as loud as I want. Am I gonna be able to hear you Joshy?”

“Not as much as you. Jake is home in the living room.” Throwing his head back, moaning from the friction.

“Are you gonna be quiet for me, be a good boy and moan so just I can hear you.” You say in a low tone.

“I’ll be quiet for you mama. Just loud enough for your ears to hear, they're only meant for you.”

“Pull your pants down Josh. I wanna see that beautiful cock of yours, I know it's already hard as a rock and I haven’t even said much of anything yet.” You say licking your lips slightly.

“Just because we haven’t done anything doesn’t mean I wasn't thinking about it. Although I didn’t like Sam saying it, I couldn’t help but keep myself distracted during that show.” He pulls his pants down, releasing his cock. “I wanna fuck you so hard from the back, right in front of the mirror in my room. So I can see how good you look taking my cock.”

“Fuck, Josh. C-can I touch myself? You’re in charge, baby. What do you want me to do, daddy?” You grab your tit through your shirt, supplying yourself with the smallest amount of pleasure to at least get some relief.

“Well I didn’t tell you to start grabbing your tits, are you gonna listen to me or do your own fucking thing you brat.” He says sternly, obviously taking the more dominant role and you were thoroughly enjoying it.

“I’m sorry baby, what do you want me to do, I’m your puppet.” You let go of your tit, and give him your biggest puppy dog eyes.

“Well first I want your phone propped up so I can see your whole body, then I want you stripped on the bed, nothing on. Once you're done, lean yourself against your headboard and spread your legs.”

You follow his directions, putting your phone against the blankets at the end of your bed and spreading your legs, being completely vulnerable to him.

He bites his tongue, smiling. “What a pretty pussy. Such a shame I’m going to destroy it tomorrow.”

Your mouth opens and eyebrows raise in shock.

“Better keep that mouth shut y/n, or else I’m gonna have to come over and skull fuck you.”

Your lips slowly morph into a smile, as your hand begins to slowly start sliding down your stomach.

“Did I tell you you could touch yourself yet?” You shake your head ‘no’ at him. “That’s what I fucking thought.” You remove your hand from your stomach, and give him a little pout. “Such a sad little baby, can’t even keep her pretty little hands off her wet cunt.”

He loves the power he has over you, polar opposite of the demeanor his brother had earlier today.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and listen, because if you keep doing your own thing I’ll just jerk myself off, looking at that perfect body of yours.” He begins to work on himself after spitting in his hand.

“Can I touch myself now, I promise I’ll listen to you.” You sit there leaning against the headboard. Arms by your side.

“I want you to play with your tits first, spit on your hand and massage them, and pinch your nipples nice and hard. I’ll tell you when I’ve seen enough.”

You bring your hand up to your mouth, spitting into it. You stare at Josh, fondling them softly. “I wish these were your hands Josh. Yours are so big, and soft, god I wish they were in me.” You whimper letting your head push against the headboard exposing your neck.

“Oh I’ve missed that beautiful neck of yours, it's so perfect. Such a shame it’s going to be all bruised after tomorrow.”

Your open mouth turned into a smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, I’ll never say no. Oh god Josh can I please touch my pussy, it’s aching for touch.”

He smirks before giving you an answer. “One finger, that's it. Your gonna finger fuck yourself until I say you can do anything else.”

You begin to slide your hand down your stomach again, leading all the way down to your slick entrance. As you slip your middle finger in you moan, probably a little more than you had to, but you wanted to play it up for Josh. Give him something to remember.

“You’re so fucking sexy, I love hearing your little noises. Let them all out for me mama, don’t hold back.” You watch as he begins stroking himself faster and harder. The slapping noises drifting through the screen.

“Let me see that throbbing tip Joshy, rub it for me.” You curl your finger up trying to hit your sensitive spot, letting out a very real moan.

“You’re such a dirty girl baby. You should just come over and suck my cock. I don’t care that Jake is here, he can be jealous knowing he’ll never get that from you.”

That's awkward.

“I wish I could come over too, maybe you should come here.” You wink. He stops for a moment.

“Really? Because I will, don’t test me.”

“I’m just joking, I wanna do this with you. Try something new.” You pump your fingers into yourself even quicker, trying to get yourself there.

“You’re a fucking tease, you bitch. I can’t wait to have you all to myself tomorrow. You won’t be able to tease me, unless you wanna get punished. You don’t want that to happen do you.” He says in a sultry tone.

“Like I said I’ll never say no, you can punish me if you want, I’ll enjoy it.” Continuing to finger yourself, but needed more friction.

You let the palm of your hand grind against your clit, not worrying about your finger inside of you.

“You won't be enjoying it when I do it sweetheart. You’ll be moaning in pain, I won't hold back. Who knew Miss y/n liked a little pain with her pleasure?” He says with heavy breathing. He looks at you and his demeanor changes. “Hey, did I say you can rub your clit yet. I can see you grinding against it. Do you think I’m a dumbass?”

“Yeah.” You say under your breath hoping he wouldn’t hear.

“That’s one for tomorrow, keep it up and you’ll get more strikes added.”

“Added to what.” You ask, your heart thumping with anticipation.

“You’ll see, keep questioning and it’ll be two. Now be a good girl and lick yourself off your finger, then you can start rubbing your clit.”

You pull your finger up to your mouth making sure he sees you suck hard on it.

“So she can listen to directions, that's my good girl. Now go ahead and rub that throbbing clit for me baby. I know you want it so badly.” He smirks, picking up the pace on his cock again, moaning very quietly to not disturb Jake.

It didn’t take long to feel close to your climax after all that dirty talk and fingering. You began to moan louder letting him know you were close.

“Don’t you dare cum y/n. I told you I would tell you when to cum, if you want to you have to beg baby.” His voice was shaky, you knew he wasn’t too far behind you.

“Please Joshy, I need this, I wanna cum to you. I wanna see your perfect face while I finish. And I wanna see you cum all over yourself like a little slut. Please Ja-osh just let me.” You almost slipped, but you knew he didn’t catch it. He was too busy jerking off to everything you just said.

“God you make me go crazy, cum with me baby I’m so close. Oh fuck..mmm.” With that Josh came all over his perfectly sculpted abs, making your stomach flip. With a few more circles you were done. The wave of pleasure washed over your body.

“Oh fuck Josh. God, I feel so fucking good.” You say catching your breath. You grab your phone from the end of the bed. Throwing your blanket over your body. “Are you gonna make me feel like that tomorrow?”

“Way better than that baby I promise.” He says while he gets up to clean himself off.

“Okay well I’ll see you tomorrow then, just let me know when you're gonna come get me.”

“Wait.. I was actually thinking. Could you just stay on call tonight? I haven’t been sleeping the best and ever since that night at my house I’ve been thinking about how easy it was to fall asleep. If you don’t want to I get it but…”

“Of course Josh, anything for you.” You turn off your light and crawl into bed, seeing him mimic your moves.

“Goodnight mama.”

“Goodnight Joshy.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@demonrat444 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jordie-gvf @jazzyfigz @slut4lando @gvfmarge @peaceloveunitygvf @jjwasneverhere @areuirish @mar-rein12 @woyayaofdreams @freyjalw @musicspeaks @jennabobenasblog @do-it-jakey-baby @dannys-dream

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buggysgirlie · 9 months

Text

Synopsis: when Dalton was in a coma, his parents took you away from him, and after years you meet him again

Warnings: Reader is in a Ballet class, Flashbacks, I think that's all

A/N: There are some Dalton requests I haven't finished yet, but don't worry I'm working on them + I hate my writing

Ten years ago you would have been crying yourself to sleep because you wanted to see your friend again, but now you don't have hopes of seeing him again, well…you think

Dalton was your best friend because they grew up together, they were almost inseparable, you slept at each other's houses and went to school together, but when he fell into a coma, you never saw him again.

His parents thought it best to keep you away, as they didn't want you to see him in that state, and your mother agreed.

You cried and begged them to let you visit your best friend until he woke up, but they wouldn't, it broke your heart in a way that couldn't be fi

You had no idea he was doing astral projection and got lost in the afterlife, and your mother didn't tell you when she found out.

Ten years passed, you still remembered him and you didn't know if he had woken up from the coma or if he had died, but you kept pictures of the two of you afraid of forgetting him

Dancing was something you used to forget about all your problems, and when you found an advertisement for a University that taught Ballet, you didn't miss the chance.

Your mother took you there by car and offered to help you take your things, but you took it alone, because you want to be away from her, you took your things and went to look for your room

Going through the corridors almost falling, you were close to your room, but as you weren't so strong you dropped some things

"Shit" you complained when you saw your belongings falling

"You need help?" a male voice was heard coming from behind you

"Oh yes, I need-" Her voice cut itself off as she turned around and saw who was the owner of the voice…was it Dalton?

He's obviously grown up and stronger, and he's grown his hair out, he looks different but… the same

"Dalton…is…is that you?" you said surprised, he looked surprised too, to him you look the same but prettier

"Y/n?…it's me" he said, he could have hugged you if you didn't have a lot of stuff in your hands

You looked at each other for a while without saying anything, until Dalton reached out and picked up his things that fell to the floor.

"W-What's your room?" he asked still surprised to see his best friend after so long

"yeah… this one" you said looking at the door next to her

Dalton, who has fewer things in his hand, opened the door and by surprise you were the first to arrive, you went in and put your things on the floor, taking a deep breath

Dalton also drops his friend's belongings and then gives you a hug, which left you a little surprised, but you obviously hug him back

"it's been so long…" Dalton said as he hugged you, you agree with him and hug him a little tighter

"I still keep our pictures" you said letting some tears fall

Dalton laughs, still hugging you, he's wanted to do this for so long

All the memories that were being forgotten come back to the memories of the two of you, all the days that you both played and laughed, oh how you missed each other

The longing was so much that they forgot about time, the two leave the hug and you wipe your tears

"I have to go now but…can I have your number?" he asks

"Of course" you say and say your number to him, and he saves it on his cell phone

"Well I… I'll have to go, it was good to see you again" he says and gives you another hug, only faster, and then he leaves

You sit on the bed, and smile to yourself, happy to have your friendship back.

divider by @celcero

#dalton lambert #dalton lambert x you #insidious the red door #dalton lambert x reader #x reader #young dalton #flashbacks #insidious imagine

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esperastra · 5 months

Text

It’s been three weeks and I still have not sorted my feelings about Legends Con. So have this random, unorganized list of things that happened that I still remember (more under the cut):

Nick tried to flash (stood on a chair and pulled up his shirt) Tala and Maisie during their panel but no one noticed him in the back

On the other hand when Arthur showed up during Caity and Jes’ panel they immediately saw him and greeted him

Caity was asked what Sara’s safe word is at the Meet&Greet and her answer was “Chiquita Banana”

When asked who they would eat first on a deserted island, pretty much everyone immediately said “Dom”

Caity and Jes kept talking about doing a podcast and asking people for stuff to talk about. Jes suggested they should just do Stabcast but Caity said she doesn’t like True Crime (which fair, I don’t either lol)

Adam said Avalance’s kid is named Rose and that Gary would be a great babysitter but he definitely would lose her at some point

At the opening ceremony Caity was like “I think the last time I said I was getting married. And I did it. *shows her ring* And Jes had our baby!”

When talking about the hardest goodbyes, Caity being Caity forgot Dom left and wasn’t even in the final season. Her answer was Franz btw.

A kid asked Amy, Caity and Jes if they would rather jump in lava or drown in water if they had to die and Jes was like “How old are you? Where is your mother?!” lmao

Jes recited the condolence card from Meet The Legends to the best of her recollection and kept laughing

Arthur kept mentioning how weird it is that all these fans and the cast are in his hometown

I could listen to Maisie talk for hours, just wanted to throw that in here

Jes was talking about how beautiful the gold dress from 502 was and Caity replied with “Anything you wear is beautiful 🥰” before Amy chimed in that she is still looking for the video of Liv and Jes laughing at Matt falling off his chair that was mentioned earlier lol

When asked about a crack ship (Rishop = Rip/Bishop) Arthur went on to talk about how he loves fanfiction lol

When asked if Nick or Matt is the better kisser Tala said “Maisie”

Adam started singing I Will Always Love You (forgot why) and Maisie left him hanging by not joining in and just smiling/laughing

Poor Matt didn’t know about the Human Centipede but now he does

Jes came up with the pick up line “I can be your legend until tomorrow” and then was like “someone try this tonight at the bar!”

On the second day Adam brought a water pistol to the panel and used it on everyone who got up to ask a question

Adam was THE hype man all weekend. He kept starting “When I say DC you say Legends of Tomorrow” chants

The fandom organized a group gift to give each cast member a trophy of the Waverider. We were allowed to present it to them at the closing ceremony.

Nick was called “Brad Pitt” during the trophy ceremony and Adam being Adam stood up instead

Amy sang Future Favorite with one of the kids at the closing ceremony

Adam said something about how he doesn’t like being emotional in front of people and everyone started chanting “SHOW EMOTIONS”

By the end of the closing ceremony everyone was super emotional. Caity was too emotional to speak when it was her turn and started crying and Jes hugged her. She said “I miss you guys” to the cast and went back for another hug. Jes was like “stop the emotions. stop the emotions” in reference to the earlier chant

A small list of some of the things that happened to me personally. I won’t share it all in detail here though, for reasons:

When I got my solo photo op with Caity, she saw my Real Housewives Sara shirt and was like “That’s funny. Can I take a picture?” and then she posted it on her IG Story

Amy spoke German to me out of nowhere when she noticed my accent. She also called me back during our photo op to ask me how I was and if I slept alright.

Jes gave me this 🥺 look when I talked to her at the autograph table

Nick held my hand for like a minute which was super overwhelming especially cause I struggle with eye contact lol. He also kept lovingly teasing me the whole weekend.

Me and a bunch of people did the 709 costumes as cosplay and won ‘Best Group’. It was a lot of fun.

#legends of tomorrow #avalance #Meeting all the amazing people that I met on Twitter in the past 1 1/2 has been amazing and I miss everyone terribly #i forgot so much stuff that happened already.. especially what some of the cast said to me during the meet&greet :’(#I’m kinda sad I didn’t get to ask Caity and Jes about the gift I got them :(#It did show up in Caity’s story about her gifts though so she at least got it lol #and jes… we know she doesn’t do social media lol…#also i ran into the ppl i never wanted to meet too often… such big egos for such shitty personalities. gross.#their behavior was just so rude #legends con

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loviingpedri · 9 months

Note

can you do where the reader is crying bc she had an argument with someone and cried there and she thought it was embarrassing and jude is away so when he calls she starts crying and telling him how much she misses him

my comfort person

prompt: request ^

warnings: cursing, grammar issues, not proofread

credits to owners for images

“y/n, i’ve told you to get these papers done by today,” your boss bowed his head in shame. “this was so important for our next collaboration. how can you mess it up this easily?”

“i’m so sorry sir, it won’t happen again.” you couldn’t count how many times you’ve apologized. life became a struggle when jude left for america. you’ve been so overwhelmed with keeping the house clean, organizing other papers. overall, you were a mess.

“sorry won’t cut it. you had one job, but you can’t do it. i thought you were a superstar when i hired you. this was the third time this week.” he threw the papers on his desk which scared you.

“please don’t take this the wrong way, but you assigned these papers yesterday. there is no way i could file all of them for today.” it was a mistake to talk back, yet there was no taking it back now.

“then fucking organize it by importance. listen, i don’t give a shit if other people give you other work to do. you’re so busy with your boyfriend, do you even remember that you have a job?” each word kept getting louder and louder. your ears started to ring and felt a sense of panic. next thing you knew, tears were running down your cheek.

“please excuse me.” you felt so vulnerable that you just cried in front of your boss. after closing his office door, you could hear him sigh in distress. you tried to clear up your tears, but it quickly failed since all eyes had been on you. shame had filled you to the brim. you ran down into your car while trying to excuse yourself from bumping into others.

the parking garage was only downstairs. the journey to get to your car felt like hours. thank god it was your lunch time. you forgot everything on your desk except your phone and keys. once you reached your car, the emotions spilled out. you didn’t have the guts to drive away. you just sat on the driver’s side crying until your eyes gave up. your whole body was about to give up, but your phone started ringing. a picture of jude’s smile appeared on your screen with a facetime from him. you answered only because he would get worried that something happened.

“hey beautiful, how was work?” you didn’t plan on showing your face which was the first red flag. jude was hoping to see your perfect smile. it took a minute before you answered, which was also another red flag. “hello? y/n are you there?” jude wasn’t use to your silence.

“yeah, i’m here.” after fully trying to recollect yourself, you still didn’t manage to shake off your trembling voice. you saw jude wiggle his eyebrows. you knew he figured it out. he was the only person who figured out you and your body language.

“oh y/n, what’s wrong?” jude fully sat up on his bed.

“nothing. work was fine.” now, you and him both knew damn well there was nothing wrong. jude had become determined to get you to talk.

“baby, if there’s something wrong then we can talk. i’m sorry for not being there right now, but i can still try to help you. please, let me see your face. i miss you.” you really tried to wipe away your tears. yet, the red on your face made it really obvious. you lifted your phone so jude can see you.

you saw him smile at you which left you confused. “you’re still so pretty even when you cry. talk to me, what happened?”

“my boss is an asshole jude. i had so much paperwork to do and i couldn’t finish it. i was trying to clean the house then when it was finally time for me to at least try to do work, i fucking fell asleep. jude, i don’t know what to do. i really miss you. i know you’re having a great time in america, but this is a lot to handle.” more tears came out. jude’s expression sadden to see you in such a weak mental state. “oh and not to mention, when i walked out of his office, everyone was staring. it was so embarrassing. i would drive home, but there’s nothing to drive home to.”

“y/n, i love you so much. if you ever need a break, please go take a break. quit your job if you have to. i can provide for us. it makes me sad that i can’t be next to you right now.”

“i miss you so much. i wouldn’t admit this if i was actually normal, but hell, i miss your cuddles. it’s so different hearing you from just a screen.” god damn it, he wanted to go home.

“babe, i’m gonna need you to just breath. inhale, and exhale. everything is going to be okay. i’m gonna be back in no time. i will call and text whenever i’m free. i know it’s hard for you, but bare with me. do whatever it takes for you to be relaxed.” jude didn’t have to use a lot of words to comfort you. he was doing the bare minimum and you calmed down.

“i think i need to go home. i know you’re busy. i love you jude.”

“i love you too, now go kick some ass.”

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #real madrid #football x reader #football fanfic #jude bellingham fanfic #jude bellingham x y/n #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x you

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saucymalum · 1 year

Text

What's This? (Consequences of my Actions) W.S

Wilbur Soot x Gn! reader (they/them pronouns)

Warning: Angst, Enemies to lovers, mentions of past death, y/n being dumb, miscommunication.

Summary: Bro idk figure it out.

Word Count: 2.6k

I always knew he hated me. He didn’t hide it. He didn’t like that I was “Invading” his friend group. That I was getting along with them. He didn’t like me. It infuriated me how he acted like he was better than me. All I wanted was to be his friend and he didn't give me a chance. I couldn't understand how he could hate me for no reason. So I gave him a reason.

I tried to annoy him everytime I could. He didn’t want me at a party so badly he would text me to not come and I’d arrive early with baked goods. He didn’t like me tweeting about his band so much that he’d intentionally be the only member not following me? I tagged them all in every tweet. I became his hell. Did I hate him? No. But I hated that he treated me like he was better. Like I was insignificant.

To the fans, I was their biggest fan. I’d cover their newest songs on my Instagram story and take pictures in their merch. Some thought I was even dating one of them, which was almost laughable. I truly loved them all. The party's welcoming environment they created pulled me in as Wilbur stood in the corner. His dark brown eyes look almost black in this light as he watches my every move. Watching me talk to everybody while he tries to keep up the small talk and savors his beer. His eyes left a burning trail down my skin. It became a game for me, how far I could push him.

I’d try to ask him questions in conversations, simply because I knew he didn’t want to talk to me. And that's when my plans started to crumble. I liked the guy. I thought he was fucking funny. Being antagonizing was so much easier when I didn’t know him. I wanted to be the asshole's friend. I kept trying to keep up my game, but I failed every time unless it was social media. It’s easy to fake things there. So I did.

I ignored my emotions, my guilt, and the rising feeling that I refused to acknowledge. I posted pictures of myself at their concerts; I posted their songs on my story. I was a good friend, but I avoided Wilbur. And at the end of the day, it didn't matter much to him if I showed up to the parties. I saw the glares he’d given me that made me want to laugh in his face. I missed not knowing him.

I started showing up early at parties and sneaking out early. I’d avoid Will even if I felt his eyes burn me. It seemed fine until he caught on.

I sat at their EP release celebration, an hour in, and I zoned out and stared at a wall. People passed by and I sat drinking my now warm beverage. Blurs of people, laughing, smiling, dancing, pass around me. I can't believe I did this to myself.

The seat beside me dips and I look to see Phil looking expectantly at me. One eyebrow raised slightly and his blonde hair messed up a bit.

"What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?" I laugh nervously.

He sits there, giving no answer, knowing I'll break. And I do.

I spilled everything, beginning to now. Frustration pours out every word as the temperature in the room seems to rise. I don't want to be here anymore.

Phil sighs and I feel shame replacing my relief.

"Why would you do this to yourself Y/N?"

"I DIDN'T WANT THIS! I JUST WANTED THE STUPID LITTLE PRICK TO BE HUMBLED. Or at least annoyed enough to stop being a dick." my breaths shake for a second "In no universe was THIS my plan. "

I fall into the back of the couch. "What do I do?"

"Talk to him."

I groan, "I forgot you're a 'communication is key' person"

Phil lightly shoves me, "So are you until you get scared and run away. You can't run away this time. Avoiding him means avoiding us and you know that."

“I know.”

“So what do you think you need to do?” He asks softly.

I take in a deep breath and straighten my back. My eyes find Wilbur chatting up some girl in the corner. I let my feet guide me to him and without a word, too scared to speak, I grab his jacket and pull him out onto the back porch.

“What the Fuck, Y/N?”

“What is your problem with me? You refuse to talk to me, You hate my presence, and you constantly make an effort to show me you think I'm less than you. Why?”

“Maybe because you do shit like you just did without thinking about how it’d affect me.”

I scoff, “What a cop-out. You’ve hated me from the beginning. I want you to tell me why.”

He creeps further into my personal space. His height becomes increasingly harder to ignore when he looms over me. His breath fans over my face, and I want to cringe at the warmth.

“Has it ever occurred to you in your self-centered little head that not everyone likes you? You’re not some god or goddess Y/n. You grate my veins and you enjoy it. You TRIED to annoy me and you’re confused why I don’t like you? How into yourself can you be?”

Electricity pricks at my skin and the back of my eyes burn, “Don’t act like you didn’t hate me from the get-go Wilbur. I know what it feels like to be disliked.”

“Then why does it bother you so much if I don't like you? Huh? Sweet little Y/N just wants to be loved and cherished by everyone, isn't that right?” My breath shakes as the back of his hand brushes against my cheek. “Well, life doesn’t work like that. Some people will hate your grating voice and some people can't STAND your GODDAWFUL laugh. So get over it and be a fucking adult about it. Stop being a little baby.”

WARNING: description of a panic attack, stay safe and skip to the end of the trigger warning <3

He steps back and I quickly escape the cold night that suffocates me. My throat closes in on itself and my eyes water. I can’t breathe, I can’t BREATHE. I try to drag in breaths, but the effort is beyond fruitless. Through my watery eyes and past the blur and dizziness, I walk to the bathroom. I need to escape. I need to GET OUT. Everyone hates me, such a stupid baby who can’t even handle a man not liking them. How pathetic can you get? Everyone's eyes are on me. They’re laughing at me, aren’t they? I bet they are. The bathroom door’s soft close sounds like a thunderclap in my ears but that thunderclap is the most comfort I have felt since Phil and my conversation ended. My ears are ringing. I don’t know what to do.

I sink to the floor, and my back hits the cold tile, shocking my skin through my thin shirt. I've prepared for this. Ok, just find something you can smell. Ok, I can do that. My mind wanders into my negative talk, but quickly it snaps to the smell of the Febreze air freshener going off.

Good, good. One down, four more to go. I can see the design in the ceiling, that's another.

My lungs slowly feel less pressure on them. Not a semi-truck but maybe a minivan. I can hear yelling outside the door, maybe someone knocking. It's so hard to hear when I feel like I'm underwater.

I can feel the tile under my fingertips, the cold feels nice against my skin, the hot trails that the tears leave sting and I almost want to press my face into the floor to cool them.

The sweet drink still lingers on my tongue. Good, I got all five. Now breathe. It's so hard when the hiccups interrupt but I practice these exercises daily.

The weight on my chest slowly releases and the tears go dry. I'm left exhausted. I want to go home. The room goes steady and I slowly stand on shaky legs.

I avoid the mirror as I cool my hands in the water flowing in the sink and press them to my cheeks.

WARNING OVER: Stay safe, love.

The yelling outside gets clearer when I open the door, the house has been cleared away of any guests and the pounding of my heart gets louder. Phil stands in front of Wilbur yelling at him, words I barely have the energy to decipher.

“What the fuck is wrong with you right now, Wilbur? You are a grown-ass man. What the hell would possess you to think talking to someone like that was ok?” Kristin stands next to Phil. She shoots a disappointed look at Wilbur, but he ducks away.

“Oh don’t give me the disappointed parent act.” He scoffs.

Wilbur walks over to the couch, closer to me, and I press my back closer to the bathroom door that I closed.

Phil chases after him, “Well, if you didn’t act so immature, maybe I wouldn’t have to Will! What were you thinking!? You barely know her and you already decided to chase her away?”

“If she didn’t want me to hate her maybe she could have tried to not do everything I hate on purpose.”

“You gave them a panic attack! Nothing they did made them deserve that. We just want you to explain. Can you please just let us understand?”

Wilbur pauses putting on his jacket and sighs, “I’m scared, ok?”

“Of what?”

“Phil, they remind me of Lacy, and I can’t get hurt like that again.” He turns around and his eyes meet mine. Shock and remorse fill his eyes, but he brushes past me and bolts for the door.

I take a shaky breath in and look at Phil and Kristin. "Who’s Lacy?”

We sat in the living room of Phil and Kristin’s house as they tried to explain it in the most delicate way. But really, how can you explain to someone that they reminded a person they considered an enemy of their dead girlfriend? That they reminded someone they thought hated them of someone they were in love with? I didn't think I could cry anymore. I was wrong. I reminded Wilbur of a love that was ripped away from him. I hurt him by being around him.

I wanted to be mad at him. Hurt him for punishing me for something I had no part in but I couldn't.

I just wanted to go home and never leave.

And that's what I did. I stayed in bed, emotionally exhausted and numb. My self-destruction hit me like a brick, canceling my therapy appointment for the next day and turning my phone to do not disturb.

Wilbur POV:

No one had heard from Y/N in almost a week. Seeing their face when I left made me feel like I swallowed a brick. A part of me felt glad that finally, FINALLY, they would feel just a sliver of what they've made me feel for months.

But the guilt…the guilt at that thought overwhelmed my brain quickly after. What kind of person would that make me to want someone to hurt the way I have? Even if it was someone who hurt that doesn't make it ok.

This guilt led me straight to Y/N's front door. My hand hovered over the door. What was my plan when I got here? I don't think I even gave myself time to make one.

Before I could attempt to knock on the door, it swung open with the image of Y/N's dark-circled eyes staring shocked at me.

"Oh Jesus!" they exclaim and hide behind the door a bit. The wrinkles in the pyjama shirt clinging to parts of their body. A small smile creeps into the corner of my mouth at seeing them again. To see that they were at least still alive and kicking.

"I'm so sorry to just show up like this!" I step away from the door, giving them some space. "I want to check in."

Their bottom lip moves between their teeth as they chew at the loose skin. A mental debate wars on behind their eyes, no doubt wondering who asked me to come here.

"Who blackmailed you?" they ask.

A hesitant silence floats between us as I wonder if it'd be wrong to tell the truth.

A sigh passes my lips. "I felt bad."

Their eyes quickly widen again as they forget the effort to hide themself behind the door. They rush the 2 feet to me and place a hand on my arm.

"No! No, you have nothing to be sorry for! I was a goddamn asshole, Wilbur! Why didn't you slap me earlier? I was so arrogant and antagonistic towards you. I can't believe it. You did nothing but try to avoid me because you were hurting and I made it ten times harder."

"Y/N, I said horrible things to you. I felt like a villain. I never want to feel like that again. I am so sorry for talking to you like that." My shoulders sink in a subconscious effort to get down to their level. To look they straight in the eyes. To maybe show them all the emotions that I felt the moment I left Phil's house."

Y/N sighs and releases my arm from their grip. They step out of the doorway, a silent invitation. Luckily, I'm not a vampire.

"Will, what you said was true. I can't fault you for saying the truth."

How could they think that? That anything I said was true, calling them such stupid names in order to belittle them and make them feel small? What have I done?

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, I said to you was true. Yes, I was hurt and yes how you treated me didn’t help but none of it was true and keep telling you otherwise until you believe.”

They look away from my eyes to the ground, “Well, that's gonna take a while since I thought all of those things about myself long before you told me.”

A sour feeling rises in my stomach. Everything in me wants to protect them.

“Well, I’ll be here every time you doubt me.”

They scoff, “Like you’ll call me at 3 in the morning.”

“Who says I won’t” I shrug.

Their eyes glaze over with tears as they look hopefully into mine, “This isn’t how I wanted things to go, you know. I didn’t want us to hate each other.”

They turn away from me, busying themselves in front of their kettle. “I wanted to stop that stupid game months ago.”

My eyebrows wrinkle quizzically, “Then why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t admit to myself I had feelings for you.”

Their shoulders tense quickly and they spin around to me, “Not that I’m pressuring you at all, I swear. I just-I just had to let you know I didn’t want to hurt you like this.”

“But you did mean to hurt me?”

“I thought you saw me as less than you. I wanted to prove you wrong. Now I know I was the one in the wrong.”

“Y/N I thought you were amazing. I was stupid and thought if I avoided you I wouldn’t fall for you.” I step forward into their space, “I didn’t think I could handle it.”

“Did you?”

The space between our bodies shrinks til we’re breathing the same air.

“Yes,” I whisper, my hand gravitating to their hip.

“And can you handle it?”

“With you, I think I’ll be more than fine.”

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot angst #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur mcyt #wilbur x y/n #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur #mcyt x reader #mcyt fic #mcyt fanfic #mcyt x you #mcyt imagine #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x gender neutral reader #dsmp x reader #dsmp fanfic

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morporkian-cryptid · 1 month

Text

Something I really like with The Mountain Goats is that a lot of songs are at first very cryptic, or seem a bit boring because they’re very descriptive and factual; until somewhere around the end, one line suddenly puts everything else into perspective, and the meaning of the song punches you in the gut.

Take “Picture of my dress" for example. The whole song follows a woman’s road trip, in a very mundane and descriptive way: a truck stop parking lot, smoking a cigarette with a stranger, a greasy sandwich in a diner, listening to the radio. And taking a picture of her dress. Why is she taking a picture of her dress? We don’t know, we can only follow her on this road trip, watching in from the outside and getting no context.

Right up until “I only wore it once, nine years ago”.

There’s only one kind of dress you would only wear once and then keep for a long time. A wedding dress.

And suddenly everything else makes so much more sense. She just got divorced. She’s running away from her old life, from the memories; or she’s looking for something. Trying to put into perspective the decision she made nine years ago; trying to find what the old her saw in that dress, in that marriage; or trying to find something she had back then and has lost since. The road trip is the path to healing, with ups and downs and mundane days and painful reminiscing and trying to see the good in the past too.

The last verse of the song gives more explanation about her goal, but you still wouldn’t really understand it without the “it’s a wedding dress” line. I’m gonna quote the end of the song; I have nothing to add about it, but I find it absolutely gorgeous and it lives rent-free in my head.

But I say some prayers above the engine I bless everything there is to bless Run out of gas in the middle of nowhere anyway Stand by the roadside smiling

This is something I noticed more recently when listening to older songs, specifically “No I can’t” from Bitter Melon Farm. It’s a very formulaic, repetitive song: You brought me this, and that, and this, thank you for this, and that, and this, now I have everything I need. Repeat and fill in the blanks with increasingly expensive objects.

At first I thought that “Now I have everything I need” was sarcastic. Like “oh wow thank you for this gift you are so thoughtful I don’t know how I could have lived my whole life without it – oh wait I did and it was completely fine”, like, who are you to know what I need. What am I gonna do with all this useless stuff.

Until “Thank you for the coat I forgot to mention; I’ve been freezing in here, I’ve been freezing in here”.

It’s not so much the words themselves rather than the way they are sung, with both despair and realization. I don’t know if this is what the song really means, but this is what I understand from the way this line reframes the rest. This is someone who is learning to live again. Someone who doesn’t know how to take care of themselves and has been surviving on the bare minimum for so long they never realized they might need or even want more. Someone who loves them is bringing them gifts – first just polite ones: candies and flowers; then useful ones: a sofa, a lamp, a filing cabinet; then entertaining ones: a puppy, books, a radio. Each time the narrator thanks them as if following a script, not really knowing what to say, and concludes that they nowhave everything they need. And every time the other person gives them something else, and now the narrator has everything they need, because they realize they were missing this thing they just received. This other person is trying to fill the narrator’s life with things that will make their life easier, more enjoyable. The small joys and the small helps that make life more than just surviving.

The last gift is a friendly presence, and a realization. The friend comes to visit, and lets the wind in, and reminds the narrator of the cold – they don’t have to stand there in this cold apartment, freezing, they can put a coat on. And that’s when the narrator realizes they were freezing. They hadn’t noticed before, because they don’t pay attention to their needs, they just make do with what they have without even considering that things could be better. This realization is the first step in healing. And the friend doesn’t push or tell them explicitly what they need. The friend just gives them things to help them, asking nothing in return and letting them slowly realize for themself that yes, this is useful, this is helpful, this is comforting, I needed this. I may need more. I can have more. My life can be better. Even small things help.

And I find it absolutely amazing how TMG can pack so much into such a simple and seemingly nonsensical song.

#the mountain goats #music

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svngiem-remade · 1 year

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hi! i saw your post about mtl requests !! can we maybe see mtl likely to date a foreigner or mtl likely to ghost you for a couple of days?

-⚡️

#! — MTL TO GHOST YOU FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS | in SKZ

genre. slice of life.

wc. 546

note. I feel like I'm qualified enough to judge this as a serial ghoster myself 🤭 hope you enjoy, tho it's very simple and not proofread :(

bang chan

yeah, he’s at the top of this list, who could've seen this coming? he’s NEVER on his phone, and I’m 100% convinced he checks his messages and calls only once or twice every two/three days. if you need to speak with him urgently, you either have to barge in his dorm or studio or text another member and ask them to tell him to check his phone. he’s just so overworked and tired he genuinely forgets to text and call you back :(

longest he’s ever ghosted you: 6 days.

seo changbin

same situation as chan. spends most of his time either working with 3racha on new songs or at the gym (he’s DEFINITELY a gym rat, fight me), while the rest is spent eating and sleeping away, so I think the last thing on his mind is being on his phone— though he always makes it up to you by surprise visiting you after work.

longest he’s ever ghosted you: 4 days.

hwang hyunjin

it would be a rare occurrence since he’s always on his phone, either taking selfies, scrolling on his social media or playing random games, but when he feels the need to take a break from the internet, he turns his phone and other devices off to spend time alone and focus on his hobbies and interests. though he wouldn't be opposed to you visiting him and spending time together :)

longest he’s ever ghosted you: 3 days.

han jisung

this man right here is always, and I repeat— ALWAYS at your apartment, so he doesn't feel the need to answer your texts and calls as soon as you send them— I mean, he already spends 90% of his time with you, why stress?

longest he’s ever ghosted you: 1 day.

lee felix

why do I feel like he’d ghost you only if he was really angry at you for some reason or if he lost track of time while scrolling tik tok and forgot to answer your texts 💀

longest he’s ever ghosted you: 12 hours.

yang jeongin

chronically online— that’s how I would describe him. he’s always sending you OOTD, random videos, pictures and selfies, so I think you’d be the one to start ghosting him after some time lmao. but if he ever ignores your calls and texts, concerts, group practices or schedules that keep him from checking them are to blame.

longest he’s ever ghosted you: 8 hours.

lee minho

this man is constantly on his phone, and his bubble profile is the proof— like, when is he NOT on it? so if he isn't answering your calls and texts, it’s either completely accidental or on purpose, oop—

longest he’s ever ghosted you: 5 hours.

kim seungmin

basically ghosts anyone but you. he always misses you and wants to keep up with what you’re doing and talk to you as much as possible, especially if it’s a long distance relationship :( the only time he did ghost you though was during an award show, given that he couldn't use his phone and read your “hope you have a good time, puppy!” text until he sat down in the company car hours later. needless to say, he felt so guilty he immediately called you.

longest he’s ever ghosted you: 3 hours.

please reblog, comment and like, feedback is very much appreciated, plus, I love reading your thoughts!

→ masterlist.

— pink = was unable to tag!

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seresinsbabe · 1 year

Text

Some Strings Attached 3

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x fem!reader

Synopsis: It was supposed to be a quick fuck. No strings attached. That was all. But six weeks later when you’re staring at two pink lines you realize there were some strings attached. And now you have no idea how to find the father because you only know his first name.

Warnings: Mentions of abortion, drinking, this chapter is a bit angsty

Word Count: 1.7k

THIS BLOG AND ITS FICS ARE 18+! MINORS DNI!

I do not consent to having any of my work shared on any other platform. If you see any rendition of my works on another site know that it has been posted without my permission.

You had never left Jake’s mind. Even when he was flying you were there, the woman he’d hooked up with on a whim in the back of his truck. In some far corner until he was on the ground and then you were back on the forefront.

Which was unusual for Jake. He was more than content leading the bachelor lifestyle. It was easier with his job. Deployments sucked and he was more than sure it would only be that much harder if he knew he had someone waiting at home on him. Javy told him he was missing out. That sure, it sucked being away from your lover but knowing he had someone waiting on him to get home made coming home that much sweeter.

It wasn’t like Jake didn’t have anyone waiting on him to get home. He had his family, his sisters and their kids and his parents. That was all he really needed or at least that was all he thought he needed. He liked his life. He liked not having someone nitpicking at his every move. Not having someone getting mad if he left his boxers on the floor or forgot to put the toilet seat down.

He was almost certain that whatever infatuation he had with you he could get out of his system with a couple of hookups. That the only reason he couldn’t get you out of his mind was because he hadn’t been able to properly fuck you.

When he saw you in the store he was certain that was his chance. He’d get your number, flirt a little and then you’d meet up at his place or yours and then he’d have you screaming his name. Just as he did with every other woman he’d been with. Of course any excitement in seeing you again had quickly disappeared when he’d heard that word.

Pregnant.

You were pregnant and it was his. Or so you said. You didn’t come across as the type to irresponsibly have sex with multiple men, but then again he didn’t really know you. What he did know was that a child was not in the books for him. Jake didn’t have any responsibilities outside of work and bills. Hell, he didn’t even have pets or plants because he wasn’t around enough to properly care for them. A child? That was a whole different ball game.

Maybe he did feel a little bad about the way he’d gone about it, but could anyone blame him? It was sprung on him in the fucking vitamin aisle of a grocery store. He had only gone because Javy’s wife told him to bring something to the cookout and he couldn’t show up with nothing other than beer. Or at least not again. Last time he had promised to bring potato salad and dropped the ball on that.

The guilt of how he’d reacted to you finally started to settle in as soon as he pulled into Javy’s driveway. How long he’d sat there just staring at the dashboard of his truck he wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t until someone tapped their knuckles against the window that he finally got out of his own head. Jake turned to find Bob standing there, his wife and her prominent baby bump standing next to him looking equally concerned.

“You good man?” Bob asked when Jake finally stepped out of the truck. Jake took a heavy sigh as he grabbed the beer and macaroni salad from the back seat. For a moment he pictured a car seat securely nestled on the same spot and pudgy little hands reaching up to pull on a toy attached to the handle. The Texan quickly shook his head and turned back to Bob who now looked even more concerned.

“I’ll uh…talk about it later.” He nodded his head in the direction of the backyard gate. “Let’s enjoy the cookout right now, yeah?” Jake wanted to quickly change the subject. It wasn’t what he wanted to talk about right now, or at all really but he knew he would have to at some point. Honestly, who better to help him talk through it than his work family.

When he finally brought the topic up the sun was getting ready to go down and they were all situated around the in ground fire pit Jake had helped Javy build. He didn’t have to look to know everyone was looking at him with incredibly disappointed faces. The gravity of the situation and the way he’d reacted was hitting him full force.

“I don’t know what to do.” Jake finally relented, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. His green eyes stared directly into the flames before glancing up at Elyssa, Javy’s wife, when she spoke.

“Man up and apologize.” The tone of her voice was one Jake only heard when he was scolding her kids. “This baby is a result of your actions just as much as it is hers. If you don’t want the responsibility that’s on you, but when she does exactly what she told you she would and doesn’t let you in that baby’s life it’s no one’s fault but your own.” Elyssa shifted in her seat as she spoke, moving a sleeping toddler from one position to the other.

Jake knew she was right. He needed to apologize, but before he did he needed to figure out if this was what he wanted. He’d grown so used to not having to care for anyone but himself. Sure, he flew million dollar jets, but a baby seems exponentially harder.

“What if I’m not a good dad?” The words tumbled out like vomit. “I mean…I didn’t have the best role model.” That was putting it lightly. Seresin Senior was an ass. Verbally and mentally abusive to his entire family, even a bit physically, and a fucking drunk. Nothing Jake had ever done satisfied his father. Not when he made varsity on the football team or joined the Navy, made into TOPGUN. None of it. He’d spent his whole life trying to appease his father when he knew it would never happen.

Jake didn’t want to end up like his father, even if he’d already done so much more with his life than his dad ever had. Still, he was scared he would end up just like him. That wasn’t the childhood he wanted for anyone, let alone his own children.

“Then prove you’re not him by doing what’s right.” This time it was Bob speaking up. “I get that you’re scared, but think about how much more scared she is. It’s her body that’s changing, she’s the one that will be pushing this baby out, breastfeeding. She could be doing this entire thing alone and scared. How is that fair?” Jake almost wanted to ask how it was fair to ask him to be forced into this, but no one was forcing him.

You’d given him the option, but you’d made it abundantly clear that if he didn’t want this, he didn’t get to come back. Just as Elyssa had said – this was just as much Jake’s fault as it was yours. He could have said no to sex without the condom. He could have even, at the very least, pulled out but he didn’t. The blame couldn’t land solely on you.

He stared back into the fire. Nodding his head after a good minute. “Alright, yeah you guys are right.” He hated admitting that he was wrong and that someone might know more than him, but this was one time even his ego had to take a step back.

Reaching behind him he pulled out the ultrasound photo that he’d shoved in his back pocket. He had almost thrown it away, but that annoying little voice in the back of his head had convinced him to keep it. Scanning the photo his eyes took in everything on that glossy square. Your name, how many weeks along you were, the measurements. How could they measure something so small? The baby was nothing but a blip pointed out by a white arrow.

Flipping the image over he read the scribbles on the back. All your information written in dainty half script. His thumb ran over it and then he flipped it back over. All the ways he could fuck up that little spec were running through his mind. Putting doubt in his head that he was actually capable of doing this.

Later that night Jake laid in bed, staring at his phone screen as it lit up the dark room. He’d typed, deleted and retyped his message to you over and over again. At first he had just laid it all out in the message. Bared his soul, but then he quickly realized that seemed like a little much given the way he’d acted in the store. So then he deleted it and just typed ‘Hey’. That was quickly discarded. He couldn’t text you like you were one of his hookups. Even if that was kind of exactly what you had been, but now you were much more than that. Finally he settled on something simple.

After proofreading the message a time or two he finally sent it and then immediately put his phone on do not disturb. Otherwise he’d lay there the rest of the night waiting to hear the text tone. As if you were even up at this time of night.

His mind wasted no time conjuring up images of the two of you. Ones where you were a happy, nuclear family. The exact opposite of what he’d grown up with. Images where he’d help a very pregnant you up like he watched Bob help his own wife up. And ones where he collected your sleeping child while you followed behind with their blanket and the sticky sippy cup they’d been drinking out of. It was wild considering he had no clue if that’s the course things would run between the two of you. Would it make things easier? Sure, but that didn’t mean it would happen.

Just because you were having a child together didn’t mean you would fall in love.

@rosewritesitout@startrekfangirl2233@blackwidownat2814@izzyomfg@entertainmentgal8@cowgirlornot@zbeez-outlet@glenpowellsstargirl@laneyspaulding19@isakyakiisak@clancycucumber230@crthurston@Marvellover91@the-house-of-rose-and-ember@fighterpilothoe@eternalsams@honeymilkshakesblog@Cycbaby@whatislovevavy@cherrycola27@so-I’m-blue@cassiemitchell@bioodforbiood@mjsvinyl@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth@buckystwilight@luvrrish@Yourmomssidehoesposts@Urmomssidehoesposts@afterglowsb-tch13@classyunknownlover@pono-pura-vida@shewritesfiction13@plaper1@milestomaverick@stiles-banshees@hangmanscoming@alana4610@itsa-me-marioooo@freeshavocadoooo@ravenhood2792@finelytaylored@fredsandlokiswhore@lillie-g98@one-sweet-gubler@saskiameyersstuff@hopeless-romanticnamed-s@agentstarkid@lilyhw1@nobody7102@cosmic-psychickitty@goldenloverschild@novagreen04@sophham@algae-tm@darkheartcherry@djs8891@Kenia-rvl@mannsachds@shawnsblue@food8me@Littlebear423@topgunruinedme@emilyoflanternhill@prettygirlsily@bellaireland1981@shinypapervoidduck@japannialllotion@sveetnn@zetasaturno99@Jazminlahey20@bookish-bucky@aaprilshowers@strokesofstokes@jstarr86@Queenyamimarrero@krismdavis@Sagittarius-LoveWitch@lunamoonbby@blitchen@supergoldenlotus@just-a-confused-creature@shedevil22@Caidi-paris@Neonkiwi@dreamgirl3300@Thorin-Oakenshield-2345@chaiandgoodvibes@wooya1224@roosters-girl@endofdays56@chaoticassidy@princessashley99@appledressing@The-mouse27@lunamoonbby@t4medicroe

#jake seresin fic #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x y/n #hangman x reader #hangman x you #hangman x y/n #jake seresin x you #top gun au #top gun maverick

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pebiejeebies · 3 months

Text

FINALLY REDESIGNED MY BABY!!

Fuorzy!! Look at her :D

… wait.. this is too.. boring.. hmmmm

hmmm.. it wouldn’t hurt to..

well..

destroy an innocent little lovable sona to the point she loses sanity and gets forced to merge with announcer..

The line less art was her first ever appearance. Innocent. Happy.

The outlined art is, well.. the Aftermath.

Hhhhheeeeehhhh, Huge difference huh..? I really, really destroyed her didn’t I? :(

Lore if ur interested!!

(Tw,, robot gore..??? Surgery,, uhh test subject horror—?? Idk man)

First of all:

WHAT IS A ROBOTERSTIEN??

It’s a robot Frankenstein, and I used the word Roboter and not Robot because it was German :P (idk let me mix random words together like they’re my shampoo and conditioner bottles)

She was playing in the equation playground for a while, until she strayed too far

She bumped into a bear, and since she struggles to see clearly because she’s cross eyed.. well.. I think you get the picture.

Xeir legs got completely snapped and seperated off of her, and her arms and hands were scratched heavily, and bent, and her.. uh.. ears I guess? Welll……

the only reason she survived was because there were objects camping nearby, who were professionals in hunting down bears and such

As much as the bear hurt Fuorzy, she didn’t want to see it die, so she convinced the objects with her little to no consciousness, and they let the bear go

She wakes up in a lab, with professional robotic scientists, they fixed up her limbs and bandages her missing ‘ear’, and just when she thought that they were too kind to offer all of this for free..

They didn’t. They told her to pay, either in any currency (which she doesn’t even know what it is) or..

She becomes a test subject.

She disliked the idea, but she really, REALLY wanted to live and keep her new cool limbs!

Days, weeks, and a month or two pass, every day they’d make a surgery on her, either cut open her missing ear, or her back and tail (Do know, canon version of both phases had the same back, just the first appearance didnt have the stitches)

Or they’d try new codes and chips on her

It doesn’t matter if anything happened to them, the scientists were only using them to test out things they’d do on the projects and robots they wanted to make

And with the lack of nice treatment, constant forgetfulness of her starvation and exhaustion, it finally made her tick

The scientists completely forgot that she was, ALIVE, so they never really made sure she was stabilized well

The scientists are all gathered, as they speak excitedly about this test and how it would work

They make her unconscious, and after a week of a heavy forced deep sleep, she wakes up, with a— A FUCKING ROBOT ON HER HEAD..

HUH. They tested if she could connect announcer to her BRAIN, and the only way it would work was.. well… yeah.. owchie…

She wasn’t supposed to wake up at that time, she looked at herself in the floor’s reflection, and instead of crying and looking at herself traumatized, she smiled

She ripped the chains from the bed off of her, and completely..

Lost

Their

M I N D

She started killing EVERYONE she saw

everyone who had a white long, coat

She was about to get shot by a scientist, only for one of the other scientists she tried to kill push her away

The shot reflected back onto the scientist and drops dead

Then she stared at the scientist that saved them

Rose, he helped her up and smiled warmly

“About time they got what they deserved”

He helped them out of the lab, and they both went their separate ways

She smiled as she wiped off the blood on her face, and stared back at her Home, Sweet, Home.

I knoe I probably wrote this badly,, but I have a headache sooo bear with me here ….

Alrighty uuhhh byebyee <3333

#osc #golden #object show community #object shows #object show art #osc oc #osc art #osc fanart #objectshow #objectsona #foursona

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akookminsupporter · 9 months

Text

So many questions. So many things to say but I want to talk about certain parts of the conversation? Between Jimin and Jungkook that stand out for me. As Jack the Ripper would have said, let's take it one part at a time.

🐰come out of the blanket? Will you be able to handle it? Hehe nooo way

🐥as for me I can handle it

🐰reads Jimin's comment* kekkekekekek right as for Jimin hyung, he can handle it.

🐰damn funny hehe

Explain to me how we should interpret these comments in a different way than the obvious. Especially Jungkook's comment. And we have to keep in mind Jungkook's expressions while he was saying those things!!!

🐥you left at 2 so go and sleep soon now

🐰right I left at 2. Why do I hate sleeping so much

They were together yesterday until 2? Where were they? Doing what? Would it have something to do with whatever they did in New York? No, I still haven't forgotten about New York and the fact that they were using GoPro.

🐥no but hyung is scared of you

🐥I feel like you'll hit me

🐥kekekekeke

🐰noo what do you mean hit, you'll hit me? ME?

🐰what do you mean, don't portray me like that hyungnim

🐰when did I do like that? If it's so then it's me who got hit

🐰it was just for fun

This part is perhaps the most intriguing and I don't know about you but the way I interpret it is that Jimin speaks from experience. Jungkook's comment at the end more or less confirms it. And once again I wonder what they do when they are together because whenever they mentioned something about when they are together, we are all left with more questions than answers. Yeah, I still want to know why Jungkook was holding Jimin bridal style and spinning him around for Jimin to give him a hickey on the neck.

🐥looks like Jungkook forgot what type of person I am

This could mean many things but I decided to interpret it as Jimin saying that Jungkook forgot that Jimin does not show his house to the world under any circumstances.

🐥sleep soon once your this promotion is over

🐥hyung will come (to you)

🐰promotion.. I'm also not sure what will happen ..

🐥hyung is not in a state to do a LIVE

This part is a bit interesting but more because of Jungkook's comment than Jimin's. Jimin probably meant that his face was puffy or something like that, he always tries to show us his best side, even if we don't really care about that stuff, we just want to see them/him.

🐥if you see the picture I sent you, you will understand later, hehe

WHAT PICTURE?! SHOW US THE PICTURE!

🐰"right Jimina you also do the LIVE", "Jiminie hyung play around with Jungkook" see they're (ARMYs) are also saying, so why don't you just do the LIVE (with me)

🐥I'm not that easy (deleted)

🐰*Reads Jimin's comment*

🐰huh? Jimini hyung's comment weng missing

🐥heheheheeheh it's deleted heheheh

🐰exactly see, weverse censored the (comment) you said that you're not that easy. So let's go, on LIVE, I'll come there

🐥no, but just look at the picture for a bit kekeke so sorry

This part. THIS PART.

Jungkook I applaud how shameless you were by practically begging Jimin or trying to get him to WLIVE with you; using us was a smart move, too bad it didn't work.

Jimin knew he had Jungkook begging him on freaking live to do a wlive together and that's why he wrote that he wasn't easy. No one can convince me otherwise. And then he deleted the message but Jungkook saw it. And he repeated it so that anyone who didn't see it would know what he was saying. That man is a menace.

And again,

WHAT PICTURE?

This interaction was definitely too much but the way Jungkook flirtatiously begged Jimin or was trying to convince him to do a WLIVE together was the most surprising thing... maybe.

#jk wlive #favourite jikook moments #JKJJMP #JMPJKJ #rosie’s thoughts

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thedemoninme141 · 17 days

Text

A thing of beauty I know, Chapter 5: That one thing that changed it all

Warning: EmotionallyConfusedWednesday! Note: Posted a different chapterlist for the story, might update the main master list later. PreviousChapter. MainMasterlist A thing of beauty Chapterlist.

Three firm knocks, at 3 am this sound would've scared the heart out of anybody, but not you, you were used to this, it was a part of your daily routine, well until "What do you want now Wednesday? It's literally 3 am, don't tell me you "just wanted to see me" like that night." "I need your help," Wednesday replied. "Okay..." you were confused, she is so complicated, one moment she is so straightforward with you but then other times she shows you this side of her she has never shown anyone, her un-Wednesday side. "Come in..." it took your entire willpower to keep the promise you made to Wednesday, that you would never read her mind. "Sit. I need to freshen myself, You know what? While I am at it can you make me a coffee, the way you used to back when we... you know?" You asked her. Wednesday gave you a simple nod without looking at your eyes.

You went to the bathroom to freshen up, your head really hurt as you went through the minds of everyone you met today in school, trying to find out who was it this time. But what about Wednesday? How much can you trust her? You sighed, You've known her enough to know she might be rude and all but she won't hurt someone innocent.

Wednesday sighed putting the coffee pot on the electric stove, this moment used to be so common in her life, so why did she back away from it?

"You guys were perfect" as Enid used to say, but there was an issue that Wednesday noticed, one you might have missed: Wednesday herself. She wasn't great at showing affection or saying those three little words, "I love you." But you never seemed bothered. You were genuinely happy with whatever affection Wednesday could give, but that bothered her so much. What if you found someone better? Someone who shows their love. Would you leave her? She still remembers that night. She received pictures of her and yours from her stalker. But the angle it was taken from was in front of a store that had a CCTV. She got lost in searching through hours of CCTV footage that she forgot something important. This addiction to mystery, to the unknown, got her so dedicated that she didn't even notice the time going hours past 8 pm. She had promised to watch movies with you in your dorm. As always, you were so excited as if it was the first date you two had, When she did remember, however, it was 2 am. Three knocks on your door, she expected you to not open, to be mad at her for not coming, but instead you just opened the door smiling as if nothing happened, welcoming her, but Wednesday knew she didn't deserve this as she saw the uneaten pop-corn on the table. She knew this was only because you had loved her. If you had loved someone else, they would've been here with you. She knew this would be repeated again and again, she couldn't change. She was destined to live alone. So as you were still happy that she came, taking the popcorns to heat them again, Wednesday knew she had to make a decision. It may be the right one, or perhaps the wrong one, but she couldn't continue like this. She had to let you go so you could be with someone who deserves you. She told you that this isn't working and isn't going to work ever, she told you that she didn't feel what she felt with you anymore kinda true because she felt so much more than that. She couldn't stand there to see the look in your eyes. So instead she just got out and ran back to her room. Fortunately, Enid was sleeping with Yoko that night and she was able to sit in front of the half-colored half-dead window of their room. Knees curled up close to her face again, feeling what she felt when Enid left after their fight, but this time, it felt much much worse.

"Jesus, Wednesday, turn the stove off!" Your voice jolted her back to reality, just in time to save the coffee from boiling over. With a quick turn, she shut off the stove, the coffee pot steaming in protest. "I thought you were off in some vision or something," you said gently. Visions, don't even start... Wednesday poured two cups of coffee, purposely making them bitter; it seemed fitting for the long night ahead. Handing you a cup, you took a sip and coughed a little before asking, "So, what's on your mind? What do you need help with?" "The night before the Raven, I didn't come to meet you, I was in my room... sleeping." Though she wasn't, she was in her room because she was busy looking at the photo of her and yours you set the wallpaper on her phone. "What do you mean? I clearly remember you.." "No. I didn't. It was someone else. Someone is trying to impersonate me, a shapeshifter perhaps, trying to frame me by stealing my belongings. I've searched my entire room for clues, but there's no evidence of a break-in or exit. I don't know who they are or why they're doing this, but they seem to be adept at their deception. I'm failing to find any leads. I need your help." "Okay. They must be really good because they felt so much like you to me," You believed her, you would always believe her, but it was so un-Wednesday like not being able to get what she wanted on her own. She never needed anyone's help, even if she did, she would never admit it. "I need to get to the evidence room of the police station, they might've collected some evidence there and I need to see what they got. Even Darcy's remains might shed some clues. But I won't be able to get in as the place is equipped with countless security measures. Which is why I need your help." "I don't know Wednesday..." You weren't sure, you were already feeling tired because you used your powers a lot already today trying to find evidence. But again, spending some time with Wednesday, even if it meant doing a crime, sounded fun. "You can say no. You don't have to help me," Wednesday said, sensing your uncertainty. She was already regretting involving you in this mess, so she left an out for you for you. You sighed and smiled,

"What's the plan, Wednesday?"

"Whoa.. wait... don't go.." the cop guarding the front door started to hallucinate as you and Wednesday got in. "Okay, Here we go.." you focused your energy on the guard stationed inside the control room, making him turn off the CCTV cameras. As you walked in beside another cop he handed you the keys and started walking away. Wednesday was a bit confused but then smiled as she understood you were controlling him to give you the keys. You basically walked to the evidence room, making anyone in your way hallucinate to sleep. The heavy door of the evidence room looms before you. With a twist of the key, you unlocked the door and stepped inside. "Alright Wednesday, you find whatever you need to find. I am gonna keep an eye on the door if anyone comes." Wednesday nodded and went to see what else they collected from the murder scene.

There were some of Darcy's belongings, bloody clothes, and a bracelet, Wednesday wasn't sure if she should touch them to look for some visions, She could wipe off her fingerprints but that would wipe the killer's fingerprints too. However, she looked at the computer beside to see that they had collected some fingerprints already, 4 different fingerprints. And some more information. Lacking tech skills, she turned to you for help. "Y/n, I need copies of these documents. Can you do it? Also remove any fingerprints they got from my locket from their computer, because you know..." she hoped you would understand. "Yeah, I'll handle it. You keep an eye out," you replied, focused on the task at hand. Wednesday nodded and went back to the evidence table. She reached out to touch Darcy's belongings one by one, hoping to trigger a vision, but each item yielded no response. Disappointed, she sighed and proceeded to carefully wipe her fingerprints from each item, leaving no trace behind. Finally her eyes went to her locket, she had to take it because she couldn't risk herself getting framed. She had touched it so many times before that she didn't think it would trigger a vision. But it did. Wednesday stared at your broken guitar in her hands, a sense of unease creeping over her. She was an expert cellist, not a guitarist. How had she ended up here? She couldn't recall. All she knew was that she was sitting on a grave, surrounded by flowers because the grave was recent. As she positioned the guitar in front of her, the guitar pick locket dangling from her fingers, she couldn't shake the feeling of being drawn into a memory that wasn't hers. With trembling hands, she began to pluck the strings, the sound she got was far from perfect, yet if she focused she could hear your voice along with your guitar tune.

A thing of beauty - I know

Your smile is so pure, so beautiful, yet so fragile.

Will never fade away

Wednesday never thought she would love anything so much as she loves you.

What you did to me - I know

Said what you had to say

So why can't you two be happy? Why can't you two get a good ending together? Her eyes went to the name carved in the grave in front of her.

But a thing of beauty

"Y/n L/n"

Wednesday's eyes fluttered open, her heart pounding erratically in her chest as she struggled to make sense of her surroundings. The dim glow of streetlights cast eerie shadows across the alley, the cold pavement beneath her sending a shiver down her spine. Confusion clouded her thoughts as she tried to piece together the fragments of her memory. She remembered being in the evidence room with you, she still has the locket in her hands. Panic surged through her veins as she scrambled to her feet, her mind racing with unanswered questions. Where were you? How had she ended up here? What had happened during her vision?

With trembling hands, Wednesday reached for her phone, 8 missed calls and 9 messages from you.

Where the hell did you go? Pick up the phone!

Wednesday? Where are you? Answer the goddamn phone!

Oh come on, don't just leave me on seen. Talk to me.

I already got out. I have the files you need.

Wednesday I am worried. Where are you?

I can't even sense you anywhere in school.

You just left me alone in there!

I had to delete all 4 fingerprints because I couldn't find which was yours.

I am gonna talk to Weems if you don't call me before morning.

Wednesday hurriedly found your number and called you. "Wednesday what the f..." you started, your voice filled with concern and frustration. "I'm okay," she interrupted, her voice rushed with urgency. "I don't know what happened to me. I'll explain everything. Can you meet me in my room? Enid's out, and I don't think I took my room key from you after our break-up." She awaited your answer. After a moment's hesitation, your voice came through the line

"No, Wednesday, you didn't. I still have it. I'll be there."

#wednesday x reader #wednesday addams x reader #angst #wednesday adams x reader #wednesday addams x female reader #wednesday #wednesday addams angst #wednesday addams fanfic #wednesday addams x you #wednesday angst #wednesdayaddams #wednesday addams x fem!reader #wednesday x fem reader #wednesday x female reader #wednesday x you #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x female reader #jenna ortega

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bambi-kinos · 24 days

Note

Sorry, long ask.

Do you think that Paul really remembers John? Like his John that he fell in love with because John's been dead for more years than he's been alive, they cut ties in the later twenties then like 10 years Paul had new memories and great success with Wings and a family and he didn't play Beatles songs then. But it was more than 40 years ago and Paul at least at some point has said that he doesn't remember the 60's + he seem quite unsure of John and his true feeling about each other, he quite often said like he asking himself if "we hated each other or if it was true" like he's needed to see "McLennon" videos and pictures of themselves to really see, yes it was real. So I'm asking this because I know Paul is a genius and almost super human but he is human and most people actually don't remembers things that long.. So what do you think? I must say I do hope he does.

How much do we remember the people we love after they've passed?

My grandfather died last year. Peacefully, he was surrounded by people who loved him. My memories of him are of taking care of him in his last days. Visiting him, talking to him, telling him we loved him. He was ready to go and we knew that. He was tired and wanted to go on to the next step. So those are my predominant memories of him. He was very worn out. It wasn't until I witnessed the decline that I realized what it means to be a "shadow of yourself."

He wasn't always like that. I knew him when he could get around on his own, before the damage from the polio came back. I knew him when he taught me chess. I knew him when he made popcorn for me and taught me how to tune a radio. I remember hugging him when I wasn't even up to his hip. But those memories are very faded. When my oldest sister lived at home, he came by our house and he hung up her ceiling fan in her bedroom. I remember walking in and seeing the new fan sitting on the floor but I don't remember him being there. My mom had to confirm that for me.

And I wonder, what other things did I do with my grandfather that I don't remember? What all did we do? Where did we go, what was it like? He took us to the ocean once but I only have photos. I don't remember it happening.

But I know he loved us. He was an excellent grandfather, he was so well suited to the part. He liked being with us, he taught us new things, he took care of us. He loved us, he was so proud of us whenever we did anything.

So if you don't remember someone or you rediscover memories you forgot....that doesn't mean you stop loving them. Memory is fallible but love is just as much an act as it is a feeling. Paul reviewing photos, seeing the remastered video, watching John dance his silly dances. It all came back to him. That John loved him, even if Paul doesn't remember every little thing. Paul can love John without needing to remember every little thing. He's made his entire career a monument to loving John.

Paul's uncertainty regarding John is in part a reaction to what everyone around him has been screaming at him for decades and because of John himself. He's been taunted and blamed and told repeatedly, for decades, that John hated him from the moment he saw him and that he was only useful to John as a business partner. John himself created and drove a great deal of this narrative. Hence his dismay that Paul took him seriously when John told him to stop coming around. "I didn't mean it like that." John had to put this out in a media interview because he was so scared of talking to Paul (because he understood his part in the whole thing) that he couldn't call on the phone and tell Paul that he was sorry. Paul wasn't lucky like me, he didn't have more good memories to overwrite the other good memories.

Paul is old and human memory is fallible. His last interactions with John were terrible. How does he square that with Yoko telling him "no, John really did love you" and interviewers saying "he missed you, it was so obvious." It was obvious to everyone but Paul who only get a hostile angry John who wanted hurt him.

But that's why the videos and photos matter. It will happen to all of us someday. That's why we need to take photos, take videos, everything. There needs be a record of love so we can remember love. That's why Paul released Eye of the Storm, so he can remember the time when John loved him. The stage interviews with Conan are an exercise in watching a man wrapping memories around himself like a blanket.

Paul does remember bits and pieces of the 1960s. He remembers writing "Mr. Kite" with John. He remembers tripping with John. It's the mundane stuff that he misses I bet. Age takes those memories away first, the little things.

Paul may only remember bits and pieces of the John he fell in love with, the John who took care of him and loved him back. But he has the photos. He has the videos. Even if he doesn't remember them exactly, he can look at them and he can know that John loved him once. He's holding on to that as tightly as he can.

And like Paul always says: he can feel John's presence. John is with him in one way or another. That in of itself must be very comforting.

#if you love someone #tell them now #don't wait #don't leave your business unfinished because you may not get the chance to do it over #don't leave your love to wither and die because your loved ones are the people who suffer most #mclennon #anonymous asks #talktalktalk

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viisator · 9 months

Text

Fearless

Pairings: Nishimura Riki X F!Reader

Genre: Neighbor to Lovers? (I'm so not sure)

Warning: None.

Reminder: Pov shifts between Y/n and Ni-ki's perspectives.

Summary: You've liked Nishimura Riki since the day you first saw him, he's your neighbour three blocks away. It wasn't that you wanted to be obvious around him, it's just that, you wanted him to feel how much you cared for him, but it seems like he took your feelings negatively and everything eventually became messy with the two of you. But then when you distanced yourself from him, he started longing for your presence. Does he like you? But when prom came and you didn't attend, all answers struck him like lightning. Oh, he just wanted to dance with you.

Playlist: Fearless(Taylor's version)(album), Fearless (Taylor's version)song

Not Proofread

Word count: 4453 words.

(This fic is inspired by Taylor Swift's song and album Fearless (Taylor's version))

++While I was listening to this song way back 2022, I couldn't help but to picture Ni-ki and me having so much fun dancing in a storm, and I wrote this way back in May. I forgot I have this in my drafts..++

• • • • •

Nishimura Riki, my cool, handsome, tall senior whom I fell in love with last year. I can still remember his white toothy smile and the sakura was falling dramatically. My eyes were wide open, watching him carefully, as my heart skipped a beat in the cage of my chest. He looked so majestic. I thought that that day was a fairytale and that I wished to fall in love again, again and again.

"Is this yours?" he asked looking at me, that my ignorant 15-year-old self thought he also felt what I felt that day.

"Yea-" I answered, eyes lost at the sight of him in front of me as he hands my hairpin that I accidentally slipped off to the ground a second ago.

I fell in love at those very moments. I loved him at that very moment, and I love him up until now.

The sound of my mom calling me echoed from the kitchen to my room causing me to abruptly stand up and go to her.

"Yeah?" I answered looking at her as she make dinner. It was Sunday and I usually just stays at home reading or helping mom around the house.

"Someone's at the door!" Mom said, not bothering to look at me.

Once I was at the door, I grabbed the door knob and there I saw a figure that made my face light up, and immediately, I smiled and greeted him hi.

"I just came to give this to your mom, my mom said your mom ordered two Macha teas." He said suppressing a small-awkward smile.

"Really?" My smile was uncontrollable, it was as if my face was frozen in place, I could not control the smile that nearly reached my eyes.

"I really-- I mean Mom loves the teas Mrs. Nishimura makes!" I exclaimed a little too excited that I nearly jump, and he smiled another polite smile that made the pit of my stomach twirl.

"Fancy pork curry for dinner?" I offer as my tingling feeling of excitement filled my belly.

"Umm... my Mum just went to buy taiyaki, but yeah, I'll taste that curry," he answered, and I opened the door wider than ever while my smile reached my eyes.

"Good evening Miss L/n, Y/n invited me for dinner!" he called across the counter, and my mom gave him the sweetest welcome smile my mom could ever make, and I closed the door and get myself closer to them.

"Riki! You're here!" My mom called, brushing her hands on her apron as she extends her open arms for him and he accepted it dearly with a smile.

"Curry's for dinner!" Mom said as she approach the utensil drawers "Um Yeah, Y/n told me." he said as he quietly scanned the house familiarizing the place.

"Oh! And mom said you ordered this." He said, extending the tea powder he was holding, still has the smile he has since he came here.

"Oh yeah!" Mom said setting the plates and utensils down on the table.

"I'll help you," I told her as I took the things she was carrying, hoping to have a good image of Riki.

Dinner was fun and cosy as mom talked to Riki about rugby, schools, and girlfriends which Riki answered he does not have one; making me heave a sigh of relief.

After we ate, Riki insisted on washing the dishes, and of course, mom protested from making him, until his mom called and it was time for him to go home.

"You should see him off Y/n." Mom said winking at me and I gave her the brightest smile causing her to giggle.

"No, no! I can go by myself it's already dark it'll be dangerous for her!" Riki protested but I stood up from my chair so fast that I think I startled them both.

"I insist! It won't be such a long walk!" I said earning a sigh of defeat from him.

Me and my one year senior Riki live three blocks away from each other, they moved about a year ago from Japan because his sister wanted to pursue her dream here in Korea causing me to meet him and eventually fall in love with him.

The walk was awkward and silent, but I enjoyed it because it was a precious memory with him. This kind of late-night walk rarely happens even though we live in the same neighbourhood and study at the same Highschool, he's just hard to reach, he's very private and popular I can't seem to be noticed. Those thoughts filled my head making me unconsciously sigh.

"You shouldn't have walked me home," he said as we were nearing his house.

"No it's okay, I insisted!" I protested to reassure him, but he stopped in his tracks and turned around to face me. His expression was blank and cold, and it felt like ice run down my spine making me swallow hard.

"I don't want to walk with you. I don't want to have dinner with you. I don't like you." he said with a voice lashing so cold making me freeze in my state.

I stared at him, not blinking as my eyes widened and a lump in my throat formed. He turned his back and continued on his tracks, leaving me alone in the dark street, only a street lamp to light my sight of him getting farther away from me. I stayed for a moment, still stunned and speechless as I feel my heart, my throat going tighter and my feet gues numb, then suddenly I felt my face get wet. And then I left and walked home.

My mom asked me what happened when I got home and I told her Mrs. Nishimura said hi, and went straight to my bed.

The next morning, I got ready and went straight to school, but usually, I'd stop at the Nishimura's to ask for Riki, hoping to walk with him on the way, but every time I got there, he was already gone. Mrs Nishimura can only smile apologetically every day, but now, I've made up my mind to move on since he officially rejected me last night.

But when I walked passed his house, I heard him call my name, and for a moment I thought he had a change of mind and something familiar formed in my chest.

Then he runs towards me. My eyes stayed on his figure, I thought something was new, that something changed his mind because I never even confessed, but I won't deny that I was very obvious and desperate.

My eyes moved from his eyes to his hands as he extends the 2000 won bill he was holding.

"Your Mom's exchange," he said shortly, then he left leaving me confused and stunned with frozen feet yet again in the middle of the streets.

• • •

Three days passed, and I am slowly recovering from heartbreak, and now, Akki seat beside me in the cafeteria talking about the upcoming prom next month on Saturday.

"Aren't you coming?" she asked me, mouth still full of Spaghetti. I sighted and shake my head making her gasp.

"No way! you're not leaving me dateless alone!" she complained shaking my shoulders as she chew her lunch.

"As you said, I don't want to be dateless at the prom." I sighed watching her eat. It was the celebration of the last years in high school, and every year there's a prom.

Usually, I don't have a date, but now, I'm afraid I'll feel very lonely; and the next thing we'll know, we're already at college, and I'm not even a bit excited about that, not when I just got rejected from someone I adored so much, and probably he's at the dance studio or the rugby field getting asked out by every girl in the school. I sighed louder this time, burying my face in my arms at the table as I imagined the worst-case scenarios.

"You should just get over it and find another guy to like!" Akki said crossing her arms.

"Don't cry and mop over a guy, they don't deserve it!" She poked her spaghetti aggressively looking at me while her brows frowned, but I only answered her with a sigh. Akki is my best friend from elementary, she's the one who's with me from time to time.

"You know he's the first guy I've honestly liked so much. You know that right?" I told her as I heaved another long gloomy sigh.

Days passed without waiting at Nishimura's doorstep, without stalking him on the internet, without watching him dance at the stadium with the other girls that also liked him, without waiting for him to go home after playing rugby, without making excuses just to have a word with him, and it's all so foreign and weird to me. I wonder if he ever noticed that my presence are gone.

• • • • •

Ni-ki's Pov

"Y/n's hasn't been here since last week!" Jungwon-hyung said as we change into our uniform ready to go home from rugby practice.

"Yeah? wasn't that nice, no distraction for Niki?" Jay-hyung said as a teasing smile cross his lips earning an eye roll from me.

"She doesn't distract me Jay-hyung, and yes, I'm very glad I won't see her obvious- ridiculous annoying face. Do you even know how hard it is for me to ignore her? It seems like she's everywhere!" I said almost yelling but they just chuckled at me, and I just gave them another eye roll, hoping they'll stop teasing me with that stupid girl.

"That's a lot of description. I bet you've been imagining her smile since the day she's not around." Jake-hyung said as I adjust my shirt and slammed my locker's door loudly earning another giggle from them.

"Stop pushing it as if I like her! Cuz I don't!" I said and left the dressing room and grabbed my bag and went home.

• • •

On my way home, I saw her figure at our house's doorstep standing, and immediately, I ran to her instinct and grabbed her shoulder turning her around in front of me.

"I told you to leave me alone!" I said holding her shoulder tighter, as I look at her annoyed.

"I don't like you." My voice was quite loud and I just stared at her when she didn't respond, a second later I noticed the tears at the corner of her eyes, and she holds her hands tightly, lips trembling.

"What?" I annoyedly yelled causing her to jolt and slap my hands off of her shoulder.

"My mom said she wants another tea!" Her voice was trembling.

Then she leaned forward and punched her hand that was gripping the money in my chest then she left as tears fall from her eyes.

I stared at the money on the floor, still stunned by what happened. Then Mum opened the door, eyeing me and the money laying on the floor.

"Why are you just standing there?" She said as she crouched down to pick up the money.

"What's the commotion I was hearing? Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?" She said eyeing me from up to down.

"Your eyes are about to pop out." Mom lastly said she closed the door leaving me behind, still in confusion standing outside as I slowly process what just happened.

• • •

"Secondhand embarrassment!" Heeseung-hyung laughed across the table as we ate our lunch at the cafeteria.

I told them about what happened yesterday with the encounter with Y/n hoping to earn sympathy from them but they just laughed at me! And so, I gave them another eye roll.

"Shut up!" I said as I glance at the whole cafeteria until my gaze lastly landed on the entrance I noticed Sunoo-hyung has been looking at me teasingly as his brows move up and down.

"Who're you waiting for, that you keep on glancing at the entrance?" Sunoo hyung said and I was quick to defend myself that he was wrong, but they all laughed causing everyone inside the cafeteria to look our way.

"Our Niki's still a baby!" Sunghoon hyung said. "He's denying his crush just like his Jay hyung does," Sunghoon-hyung exclaimed laughing loudly that his small fangs are visible even though we were at the last end of the table.

"Sunghoon shut up," Jay-hyung said, and annoyance was visible on his face, so, they bicker again, and my mind drifted off to somewhere.

• • •

Weekends are nearing, and prom is also nearing, and for once, I'm at the L/n's doorstep, readying myself of pressing the doorbell, when a familiar voice startled me awake from my thoughts.

"Aren't you gonna ring it?" I looked down at her, she was at the staircase holding a paper bag filled with snacks as bitterness cross her face.

"Um.." I was about to tell her a lie but she just shove past me and opened the door.

"Aren't you gonna come inside?" Hearing her voice so cold made my spine freeze into place, and I just realised I was staring and immediately entered the warmth of their house.

"Riki!" Miss L/n's voice rang all over the house, she extended her arms like usual and I gladly took it and hugged her.

"Here's your matcha powder and your exchange," I said extending her the container and the money in my hand.

"Fancy steak?" She offered, while at the table, four plates are already prepared making me have no choice but to dine in. "Of course!" I answered.

Footsteps of two people rang as Y/n and a guy went downstairs laughing. The sight in front somewhat makes me curious about who's the guy with her, he was quite tall, but not taller than I am, and he has a Western look and dimples on both cheeks, while I frown unconsciously, not finding the view entertaining.

We all sat down when Mrs.L/n motioned us to eat, and once I sat down, Mrs.L/n bombard me with questions like usual. After questioning me about some random stuff, her attention alters to Y/'s friend who's sitting beside her.

"So you and Y/n are classmates?" Mrs.L/n questioned and the guy nodded in answer.

"Yes, and she always impresses everyone with her Arts and Music! She's very lovely when she sings!" The guy exclaimed, then his full attention shifted to Y/n, looking at her quite lovely as if he was some love-sick boy, but for some reason, he makes me irritated, how come I never knew she can sing?

"Stop it, Maki, it's not like I'm some siren who sings like what you said." Y/n irritatedly said, then this Maki guy chuckled.

Mrs. L/n laughed "She's just embarrassed Maki, she's usually sweet!" Maki nodded and smiled at Mrs L/n. His actions make me irritated, and as they talk it made me feel out of place, I wonder what's wrong with Y/n tonight, she's not usually this cold and easily irritated.

My gaze on Y/n shifted to Mrs L/n when she started talking. "Right Riki? Usually, when you show up at the door she'll eventually smile and talk enthusiastically!" Mrs L/n exclaimed.

Looking at Y/n, she has her glare on her mom then looked at me when her mom laughed at her. Suddenly I feel so shy, and awkward that I could only smile at her. But the movement made her roll her eyes at me.

"Stop with it already," I could see her reddening ears as she play with her food, and for some reason, it made me chuckle. then I caught Maki's gaze, and surely, I saw a glint of jealousy in his eyes.

It's not like there's something between Y/n and me.

And eventually, the atmosphere between Maki and me became awkward the whole dinner.

Later on, Mom called me to go home, but this time when Mrs. L/n asked Y/n to send me home, she looked at me for a second then made her way up the stairs and Maki followed her next. But mysteriously, there's a lump formed in my throat as I watch her walk away. I was quick to swallow what was blocking my throat when Mrs L/n apologizes for her daughter's behaviour.

"She's not usually like that, did something happen at school?" Mrs L/n asked worrying, but all I could do was swallow hard, knowing I might be the reason.

"I'm afraid I don't Mrs.L/n."

Once I went home, the things that happened at dinner earlier rewound in my thoughts as I feel weird inside. I wonder why I'm feeling this way.

• • •

I was walking down the quiet hallway when I heard two people talking, it seems like a guy and a girl. I was about to ignore it and avoid eavesdropping when I heard their familiar voices.

Wasting no more seconds, I turned around and turn around the corner and saw Y/n, her face was sour- or maybe surprised. But the person was facing his back on me, I could not see his face.

"I mean..." The other guy started, "You don't have to say yes now, but please consider my offer?" The guy's voice was familiar, and I suspect that he could be Maki last night at dinner.

I saw Y/n smile at him, and then she gently held his hands, I didn't know why, or what happened. But the longer I stand there, the feeling of nausea increases in the pit of my stomach as I absent-mindedly clench my jaw.

I took one last look before turning around and making my way back to my classroom, forgetting the reason I was outside.

The cushion of my bed envelopes me as I shift and turn feeling the misery of what I heard earlier from Y/n and the guy with her in the hallway, then there's this thing I did out of impulse by asking someone I completely don't know to go to the prom with me...

I fucked up.

I don't even know her name, I didn't give her my contact nor do I have hers. I completely acted through emotions, and all I can do about it is stare at my room's ceiling.

• • •

Me, Jake-hyung, and the others look through trousers, vests, coats, ties and shoes to wear at the upcoming prom tomorrow. Other students also shop here.

I wonder if Y/n will also buy her dress here...

"I don't care where she'll buy though..." I frowned as I shuffle through the coats in front of me.

"What are you mumbling about?" Jake-hyung whispers close to my ear making me jump a little.

"None of your business." I shortly answered as I continue picking coats. Jake-hyung chuckled as an answer, not long after, he looks at me in the eye seriously, placing a hand on my left shoulder, making me stare at him in confusion.

"You shouldn't do things you'll regret Niki, sometimes you didn't know the things that you've always wanted are already in your palms, but if you accidentally let go, you might never have the power to bring it back anymore even if you try."

His words left me at gaze, the only thing I could reply to him was a nod.

• • •

And then as fast as light, the prom that everyone has been waiting for came.

Dancing lights are everywhere, blinding me as I search through the crowds. I was a little confused as to whom am I searching for, really? Was it the girl I asked out...or was it Y/n all along?

I stand still in the middle of the crowds, observing, wondering, and making conclusions, frozen in my steps. And my eyes could not focus on one thing but the entrance door.

I feel like there was a big lump in my throat, there's this feeling of longing while my breath speeds up as I feel my heart skip a beat.

Do I like her?

The thoughts made my insides weird, as if a hurricane is inside of my stomach, making me nauseous, these feelings whenever I think of her, this nervousness, wondering if she'll come, and the fear that she'll not...

I do like her.

But what will I do? Does she want to see me? She liked me before...

"Is it too late?" I looked up at the ceiling and heaved a sigh, feeling defeated as I feel my hot breath touch my lips.

"No, it's not." I suddenly jolted.

Turning around, I saw a girl that's quite familiar, I scanned her, squinting my eyes, looking at her carefully, until my eyes lit up.

"You're Y/n friend!" I said as my voice mixed with the loud music around us.

"She's at her house! You can dance with her later when the event started on time if you go there now!" She said through the music at the back, muffling her voice. Not even a second, she's already walking away mixing with the crowds.

My heart smashes in my chest louder than the music in the background. I ran through the crowds as I feel my lips curl up, I bump into other people, but I mind them not, I interrupted the ones who tried to talk to me, but I never stopped on my steps as I near the exit, because I've made my decision.

I won't let her go now.

Huffling my breath as I run through the parking lot, looking for the car I borrowed from my father, shuffling my pockets looking for the keys as my hand shake from the things I've been feeling, I wasted no second and rode the streets making my way.

As I near the neighbourhood I've been through and walked through countless times, my heart could not stop skipping a beat, I'm at the point I think I'll die, and the watch on my right arm seems so loud in my ears.

Before I could even step out of the car, the door swung wide open, and there I saw her in her messy hair, she has her eyes wide open as she huff deep breaths.

"Come with me." My voice came out, it was trembling with my fingers and then I swallowed hard and stared at her wide eyes and slightly agape mouth, then her lips slowly curled up. And I might be mistaken but, I think she just stared at me lovingly, like she always does with those familiar passionate eyes, and I just know that those stares are only for me.

Y/n turned her back and run upstairs, thirty minutes later, I saw her in a light yellow dress just below her knee, and she wear silver slippers, and her hair was in braids in a high bun.

I sigh looking at her, I had never paid attention before, but now I could say that she was the prettiest girl I'd laid my eyes on.

My heart feels like swelling from joy, excitement and anxiety are all mixed. Then she walked down the staircase, and when she was closer she halted a stop, I can feel her hot breath and it smells minty, and not even a minute I was already captivated.

• • • • •

Y/n's Pov

When I walked closer to him, joy and many other emotions were playing in my stomach, then I felt his hot breath touch my cheeks. I thought I might explode, he looks like a prince out of a fairytale.

I sighed, studying him, looking at his black orbs carefully, and it seems like they glisten beneath the dark sky.

"I'll come with you," I whispered just enough for him to hear and drag me in the passenger seat.

The ride was silent, while my cheeks burn and my insides twirled, then not long, heavy droplets touched the windows, and the car stopped.

I stayed silent waiting for him to say something, and then he runs his hands through his black hair and looked at me.

Everything seems to fade at the back when he held my hands.

"Would you like to dance with me?" His voice came out like a whisper, his hopeful eyes warms me up as I hear the small droplets of rain in the back of my mind while I hear the mixture of our silent breathing. I swallowed hard staring at him.

"On the storm?"

"On the storm." He quietly answered. Slowly his lips curved up, then the next thing I knew he was outside in the middle of the rain, running to my side and opening the door then not even a second, he dragged me to the pavement holding my hand as the loud rain drops filled both of our ears, then his warm hands held me by the waist pulling me closer and his body was against mine.

He stared deeply at my eyes until his warm lips captivated mine.

It was slow and warm, it was like a dream and I held him tightly, it lasted for minutes, and then he broke the kiss and held my left hand guiding me for a dance.

The dance was slow, I couldn't help but laugh and look at him again when I heard him giggle and my cheeks and ears burn even though we were all wet from the rain.

"I love you since a year ago..." A sigh silently left my lips.

"Up until now I still do, very, very much," I said hoping he'd hear my voice through the rain. I stayed my gaze on the pavement, and couldn't look at him, fearing I might cry.

Then I feel he let my arm go and held my chin making me catch his eyes. Then he advanced closer and hugged me tight.

"I'm sorry for not realising it early, but please, allow me to love you..." His silent trembling voice and the raindrops are the only things I can hear, and as I hear him, the words that left his mouth felt like a thousand emotions linger through.

"I love you Y/n..." His breath was warm in my ears as I heard him whisper slowly, and the beating of our hearts made harmony together with the rain, and surely the best dress I wear tonight was made to be danced in the middle of the storm, and the things all I could feel was the fearless love and longing for the guy in front of me.

I love you more Nishimura Riki.

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