#for adoration grow

[denialcity]

[for adoration grow tag] / [chrono tag for browser] / [full live WIP document for my patreons here] 

#tobiizu #senju tobirama #uchiha izuna #for adoration grow #hanahaki au #made in denialcity

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[mp100days]

082 - the future is kind

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mob #shigeo kageyama #reigen arataka #mod 1 #there was a very pretty drawing i took inspo from by ciearcab i believe ^^ #boy who has no idea how much love he will experience. the loss he will overcome. how strong he will have to be to grow up. #boy who has no idea he will make it out ok. that the universe loves him so so much. the people he will grieve and adore and forgive #boy who has no idea how many lives he will change boy who has no idea HIS life will change #but for now. just helping a man catch his cup is enough

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Get Their Ass.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin ling #jin chan #Yeah that's right. This guy is a named character. All those nameless disciples in the yi city arc and *this* guy gets a name. #Jin ling finally gets his much needed outfit upgrade! Rest in peace double straps. #I adore how we get to keep learning about Jin Ling and peeling back the layers on him...It's also so sad to see him so alone and friendless #especially knowing he really was starting to build peer friendships in the yi city arc... #Jin ling really is one of my top 5 characters in MDZS and its absolutely in part because of how you can *see* how he ended up this way #and we watch him learn and grow! He's doing what most adults refuse to do: Consider that his opinions are skewed and need to change. #You are NOT immune to propaganda and I adore characters who reflect and struggle with that! #Just because someone with assumed authority says something that fits into what you want to be true does not make it true B*/ #In this series about rumours and warped perspectives - Jin Ling is a great example of how hard you have to work for the truth #+1 points of friendship with jin ling: He will self correct himself if he says a slur now

[saphushia]

i read a wonderful little sickfic that had phantom!etho in it, and despite never even considering the concept before i now can't stop abt etho phantom mechanics and him just being silly with it <3

#fic doesn't have relation to any of the drawings really btw #it's just nice n i wanted to give credit for where i got the idea before running hogwild with it ^-^ #bdubs is human here but theres many good ethubs possibilities and dynamics with glare!bdubs too #adds this to my quickly growing stack of etho designs ideas i adore and are all in direct conflict with eachother #he doesn't get violent if you don't sleep but he DOES like to bully you abt it and scare you #art #fanart #mcyt #hermitcraft #hermitcrap #ethoslab #bdoubleo100 #docm77 #beef's also there but i dont think enough to maintag him #phantom!etho

[laz-kay]

“Sounds like a hoot. Probably a good thing if I tag along, huh? Stay for dinner, make amusing small talk”.

Bob's Burgers, The Amazing Rudy (S14: E2)

#i will never shut up about this #my babies #i genuinely believe rudy has helped louise grow as a person sm #you can tell how much he means to her and vice versa #they’re the cutest little beans i’m in tears #bob and linda watching them from the window is just adorable please #I’m going to suffer this season i know it #bobs burgers #bobs burgers spoilers #bobs burgers season 14 #the amazing rudy #louise belcher #rudy stieblitz #regular sized rudy #louise x rudy #louwheeze #bob belcher #linda belcher

[b0tster]

you know i did a spit take when i learned that marty o'donnell's new company was reviving the canceled controversial game 'six days in fallujah' back in 2021 and just thought it was some weird contractual obligation but now that hes vocally supporting an ethnic cleansing im not so sure cuz like holy shit

i followed marty when he was laid off from destiny. he founded a new company and their first project was this vr game about a disabled woman of color using a magic cloth to see the world around her with a touching soundtrack and i was like 'thats so wholesome' and then 😬😬😬

#liliths mind #marty was such a huge inspiration for me #he was a big voice behind one of the game series' i adored growing up #that led me down the path of game development where i am to this day #seeing him give into hate like this is so disheartening

[turtleblogatlast]

I am once again reiterating that Leo could and should be a figure skater because what are ice skates if not twin blades? What is dual blade swordsmanship if not a dance-like performance? Using the skates as blades themselves could let Leo make portals be his ice rink no? I rest my case. ⛸️

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #would also like to add that he loves glam rock and unicorns! and what’s something glam rock unicorns and figure skating share #that’s right ✨glitter baby✨ #(his glam rock look unironically fits right in with figure skater attire ngl) #I also mentioned his incredible ability to hold a pose before which helps him here #plus his fighting style in general can easilyyy incorporate figure skating elements #I am this 👌 close to animating a quick gif to show what I mean by those ice skate portals #and I do specify figure skating over hockey because 1) hockey is CASEY’S thing 😤 and 2) hockey just. doesn’t fit Leo? not enough ✨pizzazz✨ #episode where the A-plot is Casey Sr showing her love for hockey and ending up playing a life or death game against yokai #she brings Raph in for help (since I like Casey & Raph friendship) and he gets the rest of the fam to help fill out the team #Casey Jr is especially excited but he’s never actually played hockey before #Leo tries to join and immediately accidentally makes a portal with his skates when he tries twirling to show off #the gang wins the match and the ep ends with Leo finally making it back completely beat up from accidental portals #the gang: wow we won! haha let’s go get hot chocolate it’s cold in here #leo: *desperately twirling over an active volcano* THIS IS THE OPPOSITE PLACE TO BE RIGHT NOW #actually to extrapolate on this more I really adore the idea of the boys’ abilities needing to be retrained as they grow #because their powers have the opportunity to grow #Mikey just randomly floating off and needing to be tethered down until he gets the hang of it lol #and stuff like that

[rowanfalls]

oh my god. Chillchuck started the Halffoot union because adventurers were using them as bait for monsters in the dungeon. No wonder he's so opposed to Marcille's method of mandrake harvesting where you sacrifice a dog.

#Rowan reads dungeon meshi #(or watches the anime) #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #delicious in dungeon spoilers #dunmeshi #dunmeshi spoilers #also i wasn't a big fan of his voice at first but its growing on me #especially when he said 'you little!' after marcille called him shorty XD #i adore him #Chillchuck #chillchuck tims

[mspaint-flower]

he hurt his legs more

#oliver #oliver vocaloid #vocaloid #vocaloid oliver #maghni ai #my art #ms paint #i love him so much i adore his freckles #it's like watching a kid grow except he kinda didn't #i'm so excited for maghni ai and i hope it succeeds

[merp-blerp]

This is the best thing I've learned all day

#that’s not hozier OR andrew—it’s andy #the way if vaguely sounds like a parody of something he’d actually write #I loved the wiggles growing up and I love hozier now so this is actually the best thing ever #I wonder if little me saw this lol #he’s unironically adorable and killing it in this #hozier #wasteland baby #wasteland baby! #unreal unearth #hozier debut #the wiggles

[denialcity]

for adoration grow - tobiizu unconventional hanahaki au - 569/?

"Second, and more importantly, it is to make you fall in love with him. This has the highest likelihood of curing you of the hanahaki."

Her chakra surged higher still and the tomoe stretched and joined and changed. 

"Third, if necessary, I will show you how to kill the man you love." 

The pinnacle of their bloodline was named for its resemblance to fractal patterns.

"Then you will have the mangekyou, and the war will be ours." 

===end of chapter 19===

[for adoration grow tag] / [chrono tag for browser] / [full live WIP document for my patreons here]

#tobiizu #senju tobirama #uchiha izuna #for adoration grow #hanahaki au #made in denialcity #ocs

[youareunbearable]

Its late and im tired so please excuse if this doesn't make sense but lately, I've been thinking about Angry Aredhel must have been

Like realistically, when has this woman made a single decision about her future for herself, and in the few times when she did, when did it not end in tragedy

She must have been so angry, so frustrated and wrathful at her lot in life. She was meant for other things, greater thing! She was a disciple of Orome, the Maiden in White, one of the best hunters in his group along with her cousin.

Yet here she is, caged and trapped like a pretty little canary in a wire house. Stolen from her purpose because of her eldest brother's blind loyalty, her father's stubborn pride, her second oldest brother's blinding grief, and her baby brother's terminal bravery. She's across an ocean, escaped one cage for another by her tormentor and abuser posing as a husband.

The bastard won't even name their child.

She must have be so angry, stuck in that endless darkness, the forest must be such a familiar landscape but so different, twisted and wrong like looking into a warped mirror.

Shes grieving outside her "home" one night, having managed to convince the trees to part their branches just enough that she can glimpse a star or two so she can bask in the starlight. Its been a year since the birth of her son, and nothing has changed. Eol won't look at the boy, and she can feel herself drifting. Without the ability to see the passage of time, without the Light of the Trees or with the Sun and Moon chasing each other across the sky, things are blending together and she feels adrift.

At least when they crossed they ice, they were able to watch the stars move across the endless dark.

The starlight warms her skin, as weak and distant as it is, so she basks. With her eyes closed and face tilted up she feels like a lizard in the mid day sun. Behind her, she hears a noise, a twig being deliberately stepped upon. Aredhel whips around, raising her glowing lichen lamp, wondering if its her husband or one of his servants come to take her back. She feels a little feral at the idea of being dragged away from the pitiful starlight.

A wolf, with a pelt as crisp and clean as the snow dusting Himring's mountain top, slinks into the soft glow. Its fur takes on an almost sickly colour in the green luminescence. The wolf settles at the edge of the light, resting on its haunches as it observes her.

Aredhel thinks she's beautiful, for it is a female wolf. Even in the weak lamplight the beast's silver eyes seem to glow on their own, piercing her very fea and enticing her to come forward, to come closer. There is a power within the she wolf, one Aredhel craves.

The white beast introduces herself as a member of Orome's hunt, and Aredhel believes it, for the she wolf looks like the perfect hunter. The wolf asks her what she, as a fellow hunter, is doing out so far away from her kin and cub.

Momentarily surprised by the ability to speak, for not even Huan can speak so freely, Aredhel responses. She shares her desire for light, her frustration with her "husband," and how she wants a different life for her son. She never wanted this, and she wishes she had the ability to take control of her own fate.

The wolf is sympathetic to her plights, and offers to help her free herself and her child.

"You do have the ability to change your own fate, young one. Asking for help is something no one else could have done for you."

So Aredhel leads the wolf back to Eol's house. They walk through the entry way, both hunters are silent as the dawn as they go. Aredhel heads towards the master bedroom, but hesitates at the door. She can see Eol on his side of their bed, snoring lightly as he does. She hesitates, seeing a vision of what will happen once he realizes she's gone. Fire, doom and death follows her, poison and a flash of fang would flicker in him before he strikes her down for disobedience, for stealing away the son he won't even name.

The wolf nudges her aside, ghosting past her into the room. Aredhel's throat closes up and she slinks away, heading towards Lomion's nursery. She leaves to go strap her sleeping infant son to her chest, then grabs some supplies from the kitchen in a bag. Not even hearing a mouse skittering in the walls, let alone her wolf companion, she steels her nerves to check the master bedroom one more time.

As she passes her bedroom, she can see through a crack in the door and her breath freezes. Standing over the now corpse of her husband, maw dripping red from the freshly torn out throat, the white wolf looms. Aredhel stares transfixed, she can almost taste the blood between her own teeth, feel the rush of the kill, ache of her gums as tendons and tissue would rub against them. The wolf turns to look at her, silver eyes wild, white fur stained with her kill. Aredhel feels the air return to her lungs, she feels lighter and free, a little giggle slips past her lips and the wolf peels back its lips and bares its dripping fangs in a smile.

Aredhel leaves the house, fleeing on foot and all the while she can hear the wolf following her, keeping pace and shadowing her in the darkness, and at some points, ahead of her, leading her out of the woods. Running like this, oh she hasn't done this in years!. The wind snapping at her hair, branches and leaves kissing her cheeks and arms, the rush of a completed hunt with another one ahead of her feels like her first real breath in a long time. It feels like days later, and seconds, heartbeats, when she can see the treeline, dawn's hazy reddish glow peaking through the trees.

Aredhel gives a joyful cry and runs faster. That laughter bubbling up inside of her finally bursts past her lips once she breaks the treeline. The sun on her skin is warm and bright and all she wants to do is laugh and cry and scream until her throat is raw and her tears run dry. But she has to keep moving, she has Lomion still with her, and she is too close to the woods to feel truly safe yet. She walks north, and east, not really knowing where she's heading but knowing that she'll cross into her cousins' land soon. As she walks, she soon realizes that she hasn't seen or heard from her she wolf in a while. Stopping, Aredhel turns to look back, but no where can she see that brilliant white coat, or any tracks that look like wolf paws. She squint, looking back at the distant treeline and sees nothing but shadow. She mourns for her companion, wishing she could have wished her well or at least thanked her for her help. She wonders if Orome set the wolf to free her, not wanting to see one of his hunters in chains.

Its about mid morning when she comes across some of her cousins men, and they're horrified. They ask if she's ok, of she's hurt, they take her to a nearby stream even though she insists she's fine, that she wants to see her cousins.

When she sees her reflection she's scared for a moment. All she can see it blood, dried and crusted down her throat, staining her lips and chin. There is red all along the collar of her white dress, her sleeves, but her hands are clean, and so is her son still asleep strapped across her chest. She looks into her reflection, not yet comprehending. Silver eyes that seem so familiar stare back above the red, above the proof of her freedom.

She bares her bloody teeth in smile.

#Aredhel #silm #silmarillion #Maeglin #i think it would hot if Aredhel pulled a finrod and ripped out eols throat #with her bare teeth like Yes Please Queen Slay lmao #Celegorm is so proud when he finds out like Lmao Still Got It Cuz!!!!! and a bonus new free nephew!!!! #Curufin is disgusted he is related to these ppl but also is supportive of Aredhel going ape shit like she deserves #she chipped some of her teeth on thr bite so like the loving cousin he is curufin makes her mithril fangs #maedhros screams into his hands when he finds out but is also proud. so is fingon! thats his Baby Sister!!! #Lomion grows up Normal and Loved and Nolo adores him and is glad to have a sensible heir for when #fingon inevitability leaves them to marry Maedhros. whenever they get around to it.

[theborzoiarebackintown]

I love these puppies as if they were my own litter ❤️❤️ from L-R, Swift, Vex, Riddick, Elle, and Pierre. Fate was at the bottom of the steps bothering my friend because ofc she was.

#dogblr #petblr #puppies #borzoi puppies #puppy #borzoi puppy #dog #sighthound #borzoi #vex #Riddick #Pierre #swift is going to Oregon #Elle is staying in the area and I get to watch her grow up #and see her at shows etc. #I really really adore them all #forever grateful to my friend for letting me be so involved

[elasgottoomuchfreetime]

You know how they put cheetahs with labradors to help them adapt to their environment and help with socialising (or smth).

Well I have a headache, and my fried mind says it‘s them:

#they are the black cat / golden retriever duo #istg kaku probably got teamed up with lucci since day one #they saw lucci grow into a killing machine and knew he needed someone to help him chill #and they thought that this adorably big eyed also kinda deadly child they picked up from the street was the perfect candidate #and they were right #rob lucci #kaku #one piece

[augustinewrites]

Its 2 am here and im wondering how would the fushigojos react when they find out megumi has a crush on someone, gojo would be soooo annoying lmao

see but i strongly believe megumi’s first crush would be fushigojo mom LOL his sweet baby six year old heart 🥺 gojo is so dramatic ab it bcs you were never that nice to him when he was crushing on you 😭

but megumi developing his first real crush on someone as a teen…gojo would be so annoying 😭 immediately gives him talks about the birds and the bees and how we have to take care of our hearts and our parts 😭 yeah megumi would rather fight a special grade curse than bring his crush around his family

#[💌—inbox] #keeping up with the fushigojos #LOL they are so silly #but omg megumi’s first crush on fushigojo mom is so cute #he’s just so blushy and cute #he grows out of it quick #but it’s so cute and everyone finds it adorable except gojo LOL