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sunderlust · 2 years

Text

you left me no choice but to stay here forever (right where you left me)

masterlist

pairing: jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader (hotshot journalist!reader)

synopsis: you and jake have been best friends for years and eventually he becomes the love of your life - which makes it that much harder to cope when he starts pulling away with no explanation (based off right where you left me by miss tswift)

wc: 14k (yoo I think I actually may'd)

warnings: angst with a happy ending, explicit language, pining, supposedly unrequited love, kinda sad feels, reader wearing heels.

A shoutout to gretagerwigsmuse and @seasonsbloom - I wouldn't have gotten through this fic period, let alone begun writing in the first place without them. Please check out their writing, send them a sweet message or two <3

AGE SIXTEEN (pages turn and stick to each other)

This is not a date.

On a crisp Wednesday in October - well, as crisp as it can get in Texas - you find yourself sitting across from your high school’s running back in a greasy booth at your town’s renowned pizza parlor. And even though he’s objectively the hottest guy in your grade - not to mention the fact that he’s kind, well-liked amongst your peers, almost too charming for his own good - there’s no way you would ever go on a date with Jake Seresin.

For that matter, you’re not even friends. The only reason he’s even here is because you managed to pique his interest with the promise of a free meal in exchange for an interview for the school newspaper. So even though he held the door open for you and let you choose the side of the booth to sit in and even insisted on getting your favorite pizza toppings, you’re not going to let it distract you from doing your job.

You had been invited to join the school newspaper team in August, but you had yet to write a story featured in the paper. By some stroke of luck, Newsteam President Joe thought you were ready to handle your own solo project: a profile on one of your school’s football players. And while you aren’t exactly thrilled to interview Westwood High School’s star running back you’re determined to deliver a moving, heart wrenching piece about #25 and the trials and tribulations of high school football that’ll have Joe reaching for tissues.

No one needs to know that you’ve never even been to a football game in your life.

“Thanks for agreeing to meet with me,” you tell Jake briskly after your waitress walks away after passing you your drinks. You pull out the giant legal notepad you stole from your dad’s study and your favorite ten color shuttle pen, then push down the lever for dark blue ink - for your more serious projects.

The boy in front of you nods once, stretching both arms out on either side of him to rest on the back of the booth, eyes darting around. “Sure.”

“So...” you start, then trail off, eyes scanning the list of questions you’d meticulously drafted the night before. You decide to start from the very beginning: “What can you remember about the first time you played with a football?” you ask, and Jake shrugs his shoulders.

“Blood,” he says simply, and you wrinkle your nose.

“What? Blood?”

“Yeah. I was six. My dad was trying to teach me how to catch the ball, and ma kept telling him to use the foam ones but he said they didn’t spiral as well. Ended up pelting a pigskin at me and clocked me right on the nose. I can still feel a bump here,” you briefly look up from rapidly transcribing to watch him idly rub the bridge of his nose with his index finger.

You nod, scrawling down the details, mentally planning out how you could possibly fit this into an article and thinking of potential titles. Child gets pelted with a football and vows revenge. Becomes Westlake’s Star RB. Pathetic.

“So you’ve been playing since you were six?” you try to establish a timeline. “Ten years?”

“No. I joined a youth league when I was nine,” Jake corrects. He doesn’t elaborate.

You sigh, tapping your pen on your legal pad idly, then another question catches your eye. “What do you enjoy most about football?” you flip over to a clean page and smooth it out, not missing the flash of incredulity on Jake’s face.

“You kidding? No offense, but these questions suck,” he snickers, and your shoulders sag as you flip back to scan your messy notes. “Do you even want to be doing this little interview?”

“Do you?” you throw back, angrily, nervously clicking your pen as you try and figure out how you’re going to salvage this meeting, reaching into the crevices of your mind to craft a less sucky, more thought-provoking question.

The one thing you know about conducting an interview is asking the right question, one that will unleash your subject to go off on their own path and tell their story the way they want to. This way, you find that you get the most details, the most honest perspective. And so far, all you had from Jake was a stupid story about a childhood injury doesn’t lend itself to writing a tear-jerking profile.

Jake’s smirk doesn’t waver and after a few moments of silence, he relents. “I was promised free pizza. What’s in it for you?”

You sigh and rest your head back against the worn pleather of the booth seat, squeeze your eyes shut, tighten your grip on your pen as you deliberate his question. “Will you answer my questions if I tell you?”

“If they’re better questions, yeah.”

You shoot him a quick glare, then let out a resigned sigh and click your pen, setting it down on top of your scribbled notes. “First off, I hate football. Never even seen a game.”

“Seriously?” Jake says and folds his arms together to lean in closer over the sticky tabletop. “We live in Texas. You’ve never even watched a game on TV?”

You shrug ambivalently. “No, it never really caught my interest. I mean, what’s there to watch? Someone screams out a bunch of numbers and then you all just charge at each other to wrestle for five seconds while a stupidly shaped ball gets tossed around? And don’t even get me started on your weird scoring system-”

“- It makes sense if you actually commit to watching it!” Jake defends hotly, crossing his arms over his chest and looking like he’s trying his hardest to fight a pout. “Why’d they even put you on this article? Doesn’t seem like you give a damn about writing football.”

“I don’t,” you agree, sitting up straight and daring to look him straight in the eye. At this point, you don’t care how little you know about the stupid sport - you just want Jake to answer your questions so that you can go home and cobble together something, anything to show Joe that you can handle writing your own opinion pieces. “But Joe said if I write a great profile, he’ll print my story about the cafeteria workers.”

Jake pauses, mentally chews your words. “Seems like he set you up, then, darling,” - your surprise at the sweet name is overtaken by the harsh reality check - “Seeing as he asked you to interview me when you’ve never even been to a game.”

A wave of clarity washes over you. You didn’t think about it that way - that Joe might have intentionally put you on this project just to watch you struggle, so he could easily shut down your other ideas. You deflate, shrinking into yourself, and your solemn expression suddenly has Jake shaking his head and trying to backpedal.

“Look - hey. I’m sorry. I’m sure... Maybe he’s just testing you to see if you can write things out of your element. Isn’t that the mark of a good newspaper... writer?”

It kind of makes sense, but the first reason hurts more, resonates with you, and opens the door for self-doubt to stride right in. With how hard you had to fight tooth and nail to even be offered a spot on the school news team, it’s easy to imagine they didn’t want to make things easy for you. Suddenly, you find yourself questioning your writing ability, wondering if you’re really cut out for this. You shrug. “Yeah, maybe.”

Jake purses his lips, drumming his fingers again on the tabletop. “What’s the story with the cafeteria workers?”

At this, you perk up slightly, straightening your back and halting your anxious pen tapping. “There’s just been lots of wages being cut, some layoffs early this year and now they’re being asked to work overtime and the supervisors keep changing the schedule around and giving them such a hard time for wanting to take time off. I think they let someone go because they wouldn’t come in when they had the flu. Can you believe that? Someone was literally sick and didn’t go to work in a kitchen where they could easily infect the whole school. And Sandra - you know Sandra the cashier? She told me they’re all planning to walk out in two weeks, which I think is really admirable - but honestly, I think they need someone to talk about their complaints y’know? Let their voices be heard?”

You stop, finally realizing that you’d been rambling for the better half of a minute about a topic the star running back probably couldn’t care less about. But to your surprise, he’s listening intently, nodding encouragingly, looking contemplative. It’s weird - you’re not used to people being interested in what you have to say.

It’s nice.

“Sounds like you’re a lot more keyed up about this story than stupid football,” he finally says with a half smile, and you push down the warm feeling it ignites.

“Yeah,” you clear your throat and shift uncomfortably, bashfully. “It’s just... It’s what I want to do. Write about real people and real events. Give the silenced a voice. Which I know, it sounds kind of cheesy and idealistic and quixotic - but I don’t care. I just want to make a difference. Maybe win a Pulitzer Prize, I don’t know.”

His eyebrows furrow - maybe he doesn’t know what a Pulitzer is - but he nods thoughtfully. “I mean... Don’t really know what quixotic means, but I don’t think you’re being cheesy. Speaking of cheese, though...” his eyes flit over your shoulder.

Your waitress interrupts, setting down a large pizza with the toppings of Jake’s choice. He eagerly loads two slices onto his plate and continues his train of thought: “Tell you what: how about I give you a hand with the article? I’ll tell you what you need to know about football, at least.”

“You’d do that for me?” you ask, and you’re honestly shocked he didn’t just brush off your whole rant about your hopes and dreams, amazed that he’s even offered to help.

He shrugs and swallows the huge bite he’d taken. “‘Course - but in exchange, you’ll have to go to our games. You know, all my friends come to support me.”

You first open your mouth to object to having to watch football - then close it, sending him an incredulous look. “We’re friends?” you ask dumbly.

He shifts, looks the tiniest bit bashful, busies himself with the straw in his drink. “I mean... I’d like to be. Who knows, maybe you’ll be famous one day or you could help me with my English essays - ”

“- You want to be friends so I’ll cheer on you at games and tutor you for free?” you interrupt, narrowing your gaze.

But despite your tone being riddled with annoyance, despite the glare you’re now sending his way, Jake sends you an easy smile, serving himself another slice. “Nah, you just seem pretty cool.”

By another stroke of luck, you manage to pump out a puff piece about Jake Seresin - something along the lines of how the first time #25 threw a football was the moment he resolved to never back down after the first hit, to wipe the sweat and blood from his face and keep pushing forward. Joe is more than impressed with the quality of your work - almost surprised, you annoyedly observe - and agrees to run the profile for the following week’s issue, just in time for Westlake’s playoff game.

On Monday evening, you’re reviewing your interview notes with Sandra the Cashier at your kitchen table when suddenly, the landline rings. “Hello?” you answer, anticipating it to be one of your parents’ friends calling to gossip. The line is silent for a few moments, and you clear your throat to try again. “Anyone there?”

Suddenly, Jake’s laughter flows into your ear. “‘Never back down’?” he quotes through a wheeze, and you hold back a smile, this time letting yourself feel the butterflies that come alive in your stomach at the sound of his voice.

“You didn’t give me much to work with for your story!” you tell him with a small giggle. “So I managed to pull this together, and I’d say it’s a heart clencher - a tear jerker, even. Joe’s happy, at least.”

“He gonna let you write that other thing?”

“About the cafeteria workers? Working on it right now, actually,” you tell him, twirling the phone coil around your finger idly.

“Well darling,” Jake says and you feel your heart skip a beat at the sweet name, at the sound of mirth filling his voice, at the memory of his smiling eye crinkles that involuntarily flashes in your mind. “I’ll hold onto this profile, hang it in my gym locker. But let me know when they print that union thing. I’d like to hold onto a future Pyoo-litzer Prize winner’s first ever real story.”

“Pulitzer,” you correct him, and despite your writing hand hurting terribly from all the notes you’ve been scribbling and the slight twinge of a headache from your eyes straining, your heart feels full as ever as you chat with Jake - your new friend - into the late hours of the night.

AGE EIGHTEEN (wages earned and lessons learned)

Almost two years later, you find yourself seated across from Jake at your town’s fanciest Italian restaurant. It’s been a while since your waiter has checked in to take your meal orders, but his absence easily slips your mind as the two of you gossip while munching on garlicky breadsticks that are way chewier than you’d like.

After a lull in the conversation, you take a deep breath. “How’s your mom doing?” you carefully ask, taking a sip of your coke to avoid tacking on more words, to fight the urge to add more useless attempts at hopeful sentiments.

Jake shrugs, unbothered, nonchalant. “She’s holding up.”

You wait for him to elaborate, but he just drums his fingers on top of the white tablecloth impatiently, turning his head to glance behind him at the swinging door to the kitchen. “Have you... spoken to your dad?” you probe, and while Jake doesn’t react harshly like you expect, his hand momentarily freezes.

“No,” he finally says. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk to him.”

“Right,” you pause. “Do you think you ever will?”

Jake heaves out a sigh and turns back to face you, idly chewing at a hangnail. Your fingers twitch and you hold yourself back from reaching out to pull his hand away from his mouth. “There’s not much to say, really. They were married, and now they’re not.”

You nod slowly, taking another sip of your drink, briefly lamenting the fact that it’s now just melted ice with a dash of soda. “How are your sisters?”

Again, he shrugs. “Fine. I’m driving them around a whole lot. Kinsey won’t come out of her room, but that’s no different than usual. They won’t talk to him either.”

He’s silent, doesn’t seem to want to say much else, instead tries to play off his nervousness by taking another large gulp of his drink and shifting his eyes to watch the Cowboys game playing on the tiny TV behind the bar. But you can tell he’s gotten himself worked up by the way you can feel his foot tapping impatiently under the table, the way he presses his finger harder into his teeth, by virtue of knowing Jake so well.

So you change the subject. “Are we doing this every year now, then? A friendship anniversary?” you ask.

Jake visibly relaxes, almost looking grateful. The foot tapping stops, and he pulls his hand away from his mouth to sling an arm around the booth and send you a signature Jake Seresin smirk. “Of course - gotta celebrate the day you learned about football - ”

“- I swear, I’ll break your nose again with one later - ”

“With your aim? Please,” he scoffs, a goofy smile breaking the moment he makes eye contact with you.

You roll your eyes. “Plan B is always my fists. Anyway, how do you think we’ll even keep up every year while I’m at school and you’re at the Academy?”

“I’ll visit you at Columbia - and before you say it, shut up. You’re getting in, Miss Pulitzer. As for the Academy... Depends on whether I even apply.”

“Why wouldn’t you apply?” you ask, even though you’re sure you know the answer, ready to pour out words of affirmation, tell him that there’s no way they’d turn him down.

“Not sure if I’d get in,” - bingo, but he follows up with something that stuns you - “And I think I might want to stick around here for a bit. Take care of the family for a bit.”

You’re not sure what to say to that, exactly. Because you were prepared to jump into a supportive best friend mode: reassure him that he’s a shoo-in, remind him of his accomplishments, deliver your long-winded ramble of uplifting words that’ll make your mouth feel like you’re chewing cotton by the end of it. But that’s not what Jake needs right now.

“I don’t think your Ma would want you to do that, Jake,” you say quietly. “She wouldn’t want you to abandon your dreams just to take care of her.”

He stretches his arms back, rolls his neck out hard enough so that his joins sound like crackling rice krispies in the silence. “She’d never ask me to. But I don’t want her to have a hard time, make her shoulder the burden.”

“Knowing her, she wouldn’t want to unload anything onto you, Jake,” you tell him firmly, sitting up straight in an attempt to look more certain, strong. “You’ve wanted this for such a long time. Don’t let your dad ruin this for you - I know a part of you wants to stick it to him or something. But fuck that, Jake. If you put your dreams on hold, you’ll regret it. You have to do this for yourself.”

“Yeah... I guess,” he trails off, still sounding uncertain, but a little less subdued. His hand lifts up and he’s again gnawing at the raw skin on his fingers.

“You’ve really gotta stop biting your nails, Jake,” you tease, hoping it’ll relieve some of the tensions that somehow returned, and he rolls his eyes. “If you want to keep your mouth occupied -”

“- You offering? I tell you, it’s not like I haven’t thought about it -”

“Shut up,” you snipe, feeling the heat rush into your cheeks at the suggestion. You shake off your embarrassment. “How ‘bout chewing gum?”

“Hate gum,” Jake pouts. “Makes my jaw hurt.”

“You’re such a baby. Lollipops?”

“Charles would hate me,” he replies, and you internally roll your eyes at him calling his dentist by his first name. His sincere dedication to exceptional dental health and maintaining his teeth was sure to win him the best smile Senior superlative. “If your next suggestion is smoking -”

“- It’s not!” you glare. “How about toothpicks?”

“You want me to roll a sharp piece of wood in my mouth? Sounds delightful,” he drawls sarcastically, and you scoff, turning your eyes to look up at the ceiling.

“Better than sticking your fingers in your mouth all the damn time. What are you, two?”

“I’m a ten, thank you very much.”

“You’re insufferable,” you groan out, fighting back the urge to smile. “You won’t stay a ten if you rip your fingers apart though, Jake. You should give it a try. They have flavored toothpicks, too.”

He ponders this with narrowed eyes, pulls his hand away from his mouth to lay it flat on top of the table to examine his cuticles carefully. “Think they have cinnamon?”

“Probably. Would keep your mouth fresh too.”

“Oh, the ladies are gonna love that,” he laughs, smiling so big now that his eyes crinkle and it feels like someone’s opened a window in this dim restaurant, pushed the sun higher in the sky and bathed your whole body in sunlight. You laugh along with him, rest your elbows on the table to prop your head up and just look at him, appreciate him as a boy who offered to help you within the first hour of knowing you, a man who’s willing to give up his aspirations to care for the people he loves. Your best friend who stopped giving you butterflies a long time ago and now brings you a feeling of comfort, of warmth. Of home.

Suddenly, Jake reaches across the table, palm facing up. You eye it carefully, slowly sliding your hand into his. “You good?”

“Thanks for putting up with me for two years,” he tells you seriously. And you shake your head with a smile, can sense the emotions well up in your eyes, feel your heart beating faster.

“Of course,” you breathe out. “Thanks for always supporting me.”

“Always,” he parrots back. “Anything for a future Pew-litzer Winner.”

You huff out a wet laugh, and the two of you just sit there across from each other, smiling like idiots until finally, with your vision slightly blurred and your hand still squeezing his across the table, you glance around for your waitress who has yet to make an appearance. “You wanna just... go get some pizza?”

“God, yes,” Jake agrees, immediately moving to stand up. “Think we can find some toothpicks on the way?”

AGE TWENTY-THREE (she’s still 23, inside her fantasy, how it was supposed to be)

The October after you graduate from Columbia and Jake’s graduated from the Academy, you visit him in Pensacola in a bar that’s packed to the brim with patrons in Navy-issued khakis. You find yourself in a booth across from Jake, snacking on greasy bar eats and nursing some shitty beers.

“Aren’t you gonna introduce me to your date, Hangman?” a dark-skinned, intimidatingly handsome man in uniform leans against your table and looks down at you with a grin that could rival a hyena’s. You glance over at Jake, who rolls his eyes.

“Coyote,” Jake says admonishingly, flips a toothpick between his teeth, but goes on to introduce you. “This is my best friend from back home.”

You wave awkwardly, pondering where his callsign may have come from - unless that was his birth name, in which you’d love to have a quick interview with his parents. Coyote raises his eyebrows and slides into the booth next to Jake, subsequently pushing him closer to the wall and rests both elbows on the table. “So you’re Jake’s friend? With all the articles?”

You whip your head to look at Jake, who’s bearing a sheepish grin with his cheeks getting slightly pinker. His hand raises up to rub the back of his neck. “It’s nothing -”

“- You should’ve seen him during basic - had all these things pinned up on his wall, always reading your letters at breakfast with a puppy dog face. Honestly thought you were his sweetheart or something- Ow!”

Coyote’s rubbing his side where Jake elbowed him harshly, cheeks still red and teeth furiously gnashing down on the toothpick. Underneath the table, you can feel Jake’s leg start bouncing, and you shift your foot forward to lightly brush his, tap the side of his tenderly. He halts his movements.

“He’s just a great friend,” you clarify, beaming at Jake, who seems slightly less tense with his jaw unclenched. “Anyways, is Coyote your callsign?” your curiosity gets the better of you, and you figure it might be a good chance to get the spotlight off Jake.

“Sure is. Name’s Javy,” he smirks at you, then jerks a hand over at Jake. “Has he told you his sign?”

“Yeah, Hangman. Which is stupid, because he honestly sucks at the game -”

“- I don’t,” Jake hotly defends, sits up in his seat and crooks an accusatory finger in your direction. “You’re the one that does weird ass long words. No one’s gonna guess - what was it? Gerrymandering?”

Coyote attempts to stifle a laugh, but you let a giggle bubble right out of you. “I like to use it as a learning opportunity.”

“Here’s a word for you: buzzkill.” Jake retorts, and you scoff, holding back a smile, about to snark back when you feel your phone vibrate from your purse.

“One second,” you pull out your Blackberry, glancing over the email from your coworker at The Washington Times and tapping out a brief response.

“Hey sweetheart,” you hear Jake say and your heart skips a beat, a smile forming at the familiar name as you press send on your message. Your surging warmth is immediately extinguished as you look up from your phone and see that Jake’s not speaking to you at all, not even looking your way. Instead, he’s shifted his entire body to face a gorgeous woman who’s stopped by your booth and is currently looking at him with a sweet smile.

“Still on for Friday night?” she asks, and you envy how cool she sounds saying it, like there’s no doubt in her mind that Jake will say yes, against your better wishes.

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it,” he replies easily, the dimple on his cheek popping out, deflating you further.

She flashes a quick smile at you as well - no malice or threat in it whatsoever - and you wonder if it’s that obvious that you and Jake are friends, that you’re not on a date even though you’d both been seated in this booth for the better half of an hour.

Maybe she thinks you’re just here with Javy, who’s been watching the whole interaction with a smirk, eyes laser focused on you trying your hardest to keep your expression neutral. “You’re going out with Imani? What happened to Priya?” Coyote asks after the girl walks away, his pointed look at you unwavering.

Jake shrugs. “She knew I didn't want anything serious. So does Imani. It’s just drinks and dinner and you know... whatever comes next.”

They both share a chuckle and your heart clenches painfully. You’re no prude - you’re all in support of people having casual sex, and you’re glad Jake is forthcoming with these girls. He’s not breaking their hearts, and they seem content to just have one night with him and be done with it.

There’s just the tiniest whisper of anxiety that wonders if there’s something wrong with you for rarely engaging in hookup culture, for not feeling comfortable enough to have meaningless flings. The one time you took a step out of your comfort zone and hooked up with a stranger, your walk of shame felt like a daze - inside, you were empty, despondent. A part of you envies Imani and the mysterious Priya for being able to cast aside their emotions so easily, fall into bed with a stranger, step out the next morning without feeling like they’re missing a part of themself.

The little green monster in you also flares up at the realization that they’ll know Jake in a more intimate way than you ever will - in a way that you’ve only dreamt about a handful of times. Give or take. You’re not sure when you started seeing him in a different light, as more than a friend, more like the person you’d want to get old with and celebrate milestones besides the anniversary of you becoming friends - but it happened slowly, suddenly, then all at once. And now, your feelings just sit with you, tethering you to the impossible dream of knowing Jake as so much more.

All this to say, you can’t be angry with Jake or any of these women. It’s not a crime for him to want to sleep around. You just wish you had the courage to tell him it’s not entirely victimless.

“There’s quite a few girls back home who’d be shattered to hear this,” you tease instead, ignoring the way your stomach is dropping low, the way your appetizer is slowly creeping up your esophagus.

Jake rolls his eyes. “Always been a heartbreaker, darlin’, it’s an occupational hazard.” he tells you and you agree mentally, idly picking at the basket of cold fries on the table. “You’ll always be my number one girl, though.”

Ah, and the dream lives on.

AGE TWENTY-SIX (time went on for everybody else, she won't know it)

“Happy tenth anniversary to a spectacular, intelligent, absolutely phenomenal woman,” Jake toasts, grinning across from you at Malatesta Trattoria in West Village. Jake had insisted on treating you in celebration of your new job at The New York Times - did the research and made reservations all on his own, took time off and everything.

“Happy friendship anniversary to a guy who still forgets to pack his toothbrush,” you snicker, and laugh even harder when his look of pride quickly turns into a mock glare.

It’s been a full year since you physically saw him at your last anniversary dinner - Jake had been away on a longer assignment in Lemoore, and you’d been busy churning out inflammatory political op-eds for The Washington Times and applying to jobs in the Big Apple. The two of you called pretty regularly, but this was officially the longest the two of you had gone without seeing each other.

You thought it’d feel awkward, like you’d have to fumble to find your footing with him the same way you have to figure out how to balance when you put on roller skates, but it’s easy. The moment you stepped outside of your building to meet him, he’d rushed to lift you in a giant bear hug, like no time apart had even passed. And the whole night, the two of you chat about anything and everything- he fills you in on his assignment and about something he’s gunning for called Top Gun, and you tell him about an upcoming project covering creative renewal in Beirut - you both nod along as best as you can while the other speaks.

After your plates are empty and cleared out and you both have determined that you’re too full for dessert (although, the ice cream calling your name at your apartment might have you singing a different tune later), you both stand up to exit the restaurant.

The wine you had with dinner has loosened up your movements - typically, you have to move through the city streets with big strides and purpose - like you’ve got somewhere to be and you’re already ten minutes late. But with Jake, there’s no timetable, no place you have to hurry to reach. Right now, the only thing on your agenda is to stand next to Jake in the middle of the sidewalk outside of this fancy restaurant and appreciate the moments you have with him.

And figure out how the hell you’re getting home.

“You wanna call a cab?” Jake asks you with an arm wrapped around your waist to steady your swaying form, and you balk at the thought of having to pay a hefty fee just to sit still in a car and try to keep your spinning head from making you throw up. God, your tolerance has become abysmal.

“We can just take the F train back to my place. If you’re okay walking?” you reply fuzzily, looking up at him with a messy grin. Jake’s sweet expression catches you off guard - hazel green eyes locked on you, his sweet smile etching a dimple deeper into his cheek, like Michaelangelo himself carved it. Your breath hitches in your throat, and you become all too aware of the feeling of his hand squeezing your hip, the warmth of his forearm around your lower back, the way his chest is just barely brushing your shoulder and yet still manages to heat you up from head to toe.

And you know he’s only trying to keep you upright, probably just trying to gauge your level of drunkenness and assess whether you’re good to make the thirty minute walk plus subway ride to your home. But he doesn’t know that it’s not the three glasses of wine you had at dinner that’s intoxicated you this much, that’s made your mind feel lighter than air and your heart ten times fuller. It’s all Jake - Jake - who’s looking at you like you’re the only thing on his mind, the only person in the world, the only one who matters.

“Are you fine with that?” he asks, and the softness written in his features reminds you of all the times you’ve looked at Jake and found a new favorite thing to fall in love with.

The very first time you looked at him - really looked at him - you fixated on the way his dimple poked out while you regaled him with a story about how you exacted revenge on your friend’s two-timing ex by pouring your entire yogurt cup on top of his head. The way he threw his head back with his eyes squinted shut and hands clapping together made you feel more enamored with him than ever, had you scraping the back of your mind for more stupid jokes to make him laugh that hard.

Another time, you remember looking right at his nose and thinking about how much you wanted to plant a sweet kiss on the tip, found yourself wondering how it would feel pressed against your neck as you both drifted off for the night, and how the sound of his soft breathing beside you would be the most comforting, reassuring sound to fall asleep to.

This time, you’re completely mesmerized by the way the streetlights hit the flecks of green in his eyes, the way his pupils look slightly dilated, the way his gaze darts down for a split second to your lips and right back up to meet your heated look. If you weren’t drunk you’d fall right into the moment, lean right in and press your mouth to his like you’ve always wanted to, let his perfectly brilliant teeth clash with yours. Maybe see for yourself if you can taste cinnamon on his tongue.

But you are incredibly drunk right now, and that’s no way to kiss him for the first time. So you pull your head back ever so slightly. “I think I just need to walk off the alcohol for a bit,” you shoot him a sloppy grin, still managing to lose yourself in those fucking beautiful eyes.

Jake’s talking, murmuring something low in your ear. “You sure? Those shoes look like they hurt.”

You look down at your heels - and yeah, they’re fucking painful. These past few minutes of Jake’s inebriating presence has given you the briefest reprieve from the sharp pains shooting up your calves. You’re desperate to take them off - but you can’t recall when your last tetanus shot was. And even if you were up-to-date, no one could convince you that it’s safe to walk barefoot in the streets of New York. “No, I’ll make it. Need to walk off the wine.”

“You wanna wear my shoes?” Jake offers and you scoff.

“You wanna walk barefoot? What, do you think they sanitize and mop the sidewalks every night?”

“I’m wearing socks!” he defends and you roll your eyes.

“Still gross. Besides, you know what they say about guys with big feet?”

Jake’s eyebrows furrow, looks momentarily stunned as his eyes dart to his shoes, then return to your face. “Big dick?”

“Big shoes,” you deadpan. “And if I take one step in your big clown shoes, I’m faceplanting right on the sidewalk. You want that to happen? ”

“Clown shoes?” he repeats to himself quietly with an amused smile, then shakes his head, finally relenting. “Fine. But if you get tired, I’m not carrying you.”

“I’ll make it,” you insist.

“Jake?” you say thirty minutes later after traversing up the subway stairs, stopping for a moment to bend down and massage your ankles. Jake stops, shifts the paper bag with leftovers from one hand to the other and places his free hand on your back. He looks down at you with concern.

“Yeah?”

You pause for a moment, wondering if he’d turn you down, deliberating if you even feel comfortable asking him for a piggyback ride for the five minute walk back to your apartment. But the aching toe cramp that you’re trying and failing to stretch out drowns out your insecurities, silences your fear that he wouldn’t be able to manage. You remind yourself that he’s been bragging about his new squat record for weeks now, anyway. “Can you carry me on your back? Please?”

A sigh. Then, “Sure darlin’. Hop on.”

You wordlessly reach to take the leftovers from him and he turns away from you, couches down low enough to let you clamber onto him. With an arm secured under each leg, he extends to his full height and lifts you up onto his back.

“Alright?” he rumbles, and you nod wordlessly, wrap your arms around his neck and hook your chin over his shoulder. Your eyes flutter shut, and you breathe in his familiar cologne, some Tom Ford scent you’d gifted him a few Christmases ago. It grounds you, keeps your head from spinning even more as you relish the feeling of your ankles not supporting your whole body weight.

You feel the alcohol hit for a second wave, completely demolishing your self-control, unleashing your thoughts to race limitlessly, to see no bounds. At this point, your head is close to mush, your limbs feel like they weigh twice as much, and you think you’ll never let yourself drink rosé again. But you’re certain of one thing. “I think you might be the love of my life,” you murmur sleepily.

Silence. Jake doesn’t stop walking, doesn’t acknowledge it, doesn’t even say it back. So maybe you were too quiet, or perhaps you completely imagined saying it at all.

Because it’s unlike Jake to let you have the last word.

AGE TWENTY-EIGHT (I'm sure that you’ve got a wife out there, kids and Christmas, but I'm unaware)

“Have you ever thought about this?” Jake asks you, leaning back against his chair as he watches the happy couple swaying in the middle of the dance floor to an Ed Sheeran song - not your personal choice, but the rest of the onlookers seem to be incredibly moved by it. This year, your friendship anniversary coincides with your old roommate’s wedding, and after much pleading (and the promise of an open bar), Jake agreed to fly out to be your plus-one.

It surprised you how much you had to beg for him to come. At first, he had been hesitant, imploring you to attend the wedding instead of meeting him for your usual dinner. You didn’t hesitate to dismiss that idea - it’s been twelve years of celebrating, and there’s no way you’re stopping now. Not when it already feels like Jake’s been pulling back for the past year or so: calling less often, answering texts hours after you sent them, sometimes not even replying to your articles with anything aside from a little thumbs-up emoji.

At this point, it feels like this anniversary is all that’s tethering him to you.

“Have I ever thought about my wedding?” you ponder. “Yeah, sometimes. Don’t think I’d ever spring for something as big as this, but -”

“- No, no,” he interrupts, “you wouldn’t want to make a big fuss of it all, not a crazy big party and definitely not a five hundred person guest list. ‘Course I know that about you.” Jake smiles and shifts forward, leaning in close; you can just barely smell the sandalwood and vanilla musk of his cologne. He seems relaxed, finally looks content to be here - though you’re sure that’s all thanks to the top-shelf whiskey he’s imbibing. “I meant marriage, commitment, settling down. You think you’d ever want to do that?”

You purse your lips, gaze still locked on the newly wedded couple, appreciating the matching expressions of adoration written on their faces as they twirl around their guests. “Of course. Just haven’t found the right person who’s ready to do that with me.”

He scoffs. “What, like you’re struggling to find someone? You know, from the minute I walked into this banquet hall with you, I’ve counted maybe five death glares from interested parties.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you did,” you snort, tilting your glass up vertically to catch the last few drops of champagne.

“Sweetheart, I’d never lie to you. In fact, I think the redhead over by the bar is still sending daggers my way. And she’s hot, so I’m kind of turned on by it,” Jake adds seriously, and you roll your eyes. “Come on! I thought you were going to give Tinder a shot earlier this year?”

You snort again, this time feeling a little more jaded. “I did give it a shot. And all I found was guys holding up fish and finance bros asking for my snap. I don’t even have a Snapchat, Jake. What happened to just getting people’s numbers and having a normal conversation?”

“It’s a new era, all this online dating stuff,” he replies, crossing one ankle over his knee and interlacing his hands over his abdomen. “But I see your point, maybe Tinder isn’t the best place to find your forever partner.”

“Don’t know why I even bothered,” you remark and look over at him, momentarily allowing yourself to appreciate the way his tux fits over him. “Maybe if we’re both still single by the time we’re forty, we get hitched,” you muse, only half joking.

He chokes on his whiskey, coughing loudly with the liquor singing his throat. “Yeah, right!” Jake finally manages out with a laugh and teary eyes, and it feels like someone’s poured a bucket of ice water on you, wakes you up from the lighthearted banter you lost yourself in.

“Okay,” you narrow your eyes, heart dropping at the rejection. “Don’t sound too eager. I’m not down on one knee here or anything.”

“Sorry,” he apologizes but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He swirls around the remaining amber sea in his drink, slightly mesmerized by the mini whirlpool. “You know me though. Never settling down.”

You know you should take the sign to drop the conversation, but his quick refusal and blasé tone rubs you the wrong way. “Why? Because of your parents?” you hedge, leaning in to get a better look at his face, which has slightly hardened in the dim glow of the bulb lights strung across the venue. The extra bubbly you’ve consumed pushes you to question him, to finally figure out why he’s so resistant to letting himself be loved. “I know you’re scared you’ll end up making the same mistakes as your dad, but you know you’re not like him. Not in any way.”

He grits out your name warningly, arching a brow and gripping his glass tight. You run the risk of it shattering if you keep pushing. But that’s the least of your worries; right now, you’re blind with hurt. How can he just dismiss you like it’s nothing? How can he close himself off so easily?

“Typical Jake Seresin, you know?” you cut him off hotly, trying with all your might to keep your voice even through the haze of champagne. “Always so ready to let your daddy issues ruin your chances at happiness.”

He glares at you, knocks back the rest of his drink without even grimacing, doesn’t meet your gaze. Crunches the ice bitterly. “Get off your high horse, sweetheart,” he finally says roughly. “Stop pretending like you know me.”

You scoff, still not backing down. “You think after over ten years of friendship, I don’t know you at all?”

Another shrug. His leg starts bouncing incessantly. “People change, darlin’. You certainly have.”

You draw back, feeling like he just slapped you in the face. “What d’you mean by that?” you ask a little quieter, with a slight waver, still audible over Ed Sheeran’s ballad. Where’s he going with this?

He groans again, turns to look at you, but you don’t quite recognize the expression on his face. It’s menacing, hardened, darker than the amber liquid in his cup. “We do our separate things, sweetheart. We call a couple times a year and meet up on the same weekend to do the same dinner and yeah, that’s nice. It’s great. But that doesn’t mean you know me as well as you think you do. Quit grilling me - I’m not just a sad story for you to write about.”

His words punch you in the gut, sock you in the ear, send blood coursing angrily through your veins. Part of you wants to tell him off, unleash your fury, make a scene in the middle of this reception hall. Another part of you wants to storm off and leave him behind, but you’re not sure if you want to face the reality that he might not follow, might not chase after you with apologies and promises to soothe the burn from his words.

Slightly misty-eyed, you fight to reel your emotions back in, not wanting to draw attention to the two of you or make Jake feel like you’re guilting him. It feels an awful lot like using thimbles to catch roof leaks. Your strength comes back to you in slow, even waves: your heart returns to its normal pattern, your chest no longer heaves for air.

“You can’t say things like that, Jake,” you tell him, your voice surprisingly steady, rock solid. “You’re my best friend, and you can’t speak to me that way.”

His jaw ticks, his expression remains unchanged. “Sure, right. Sorry.”

The easy dismissal brings your anger back in a rush, yet gives you time to think about your next words carefully. “You’re such an ass, Jake,” you bite out, and maintain decorum, calmly push your chair back to stand up, send him a glare with all the furiosity you can muster before making a bee-line for the exit without looking back to see if he’s following suit.

You dodge fellow wedding attendees, snatching champagne from a waiter with a platter before knocking it back and setting the empty flute back down and continuing to make your way to the exit. Over Ed Sheeran’s second ballad, you can hear Jake quietly calling out your name, his footsteps right behind you.

As you burst through the doors, into the crisp outside air, you teeter for a few steps in your heels before leaning against a pillar, trying to contain your emotions, lest you say something silly or embarrassing or humiliating.

“Would you just wait? Would you let me talk?” Jake’s hot on your heels as he steps over the threshold.

“You’ve said plenty,” you throw back.

“Come on, darlin’, I didn’t mean it like that,” Jake says behind you, closer now.

“I think you made it very clear,” you grind out, turning on your heel and looking him straight in the eye. “You can’t smooth-talk your way out of this, Seresin. That might work on everyone else, but it’s not doing jack shit on me!”

He throws his hands up in the air, shakes his head. You eye how his fingers are twitching, how he’s chewing the inside of his cheek. “What do you want me to say? I’m just saying we’re not the same people we used to be -”

“- That’s fine!” you gesticulate dramatically, too overwhelmed with frustration to let your hands remain still. “But you don’t have to be an ass about it! You don’t have to minimize our friendship like this! God, Jake, what has it been? Twelve years? Twelve years of loving you, supporting you, celebrating anniversaries -” You cut yourself off, realizing what just bubbled forth from of your mouth.

Jake’s expression stays ablaze, but his spine stiffens, hands twitch twice before he clenches them, digging his nails into his palms harshly. You meet his heavy gaze, mouth slightly agape, mind running a million miles a second until it starts to decelerate, slows down gradually, then stops on one thought, one single thought alone.

“I love you, Jake,” you say. Like you’re stating a fact, common knowledge for everyone and their mother. The sky is blue, the world isn’t flat, and you’re in love with Jake Seresin.

He inhales, shaking his head, and looking down at the ground.

You falter, furrow your eyebrows, wonder if maybe he didn’t hear you. “I love you, Jake,” you repeat, this time a little louder, taking a step forward, closer to him. “I’m in love with you.”

Jake looks up, his face contorted into a look of pain, eyes void of its usual light. Inhales sharply. “I know.”

You falter. “You know?“ the words feel like marbles rolling out; you can almost hear the tiny plinks as they hit the ground.

“Yeah.”

”…How long?”

He swallows. “Since New York.”

You’re transported back in that moment, a montage of scenes from your tenth anniversary flashing through your mind like you’re in a cinema. You remember the night’s end in a haze: his warm body next to yours as you stumbled to the subway, you gripping onto his arm tightly with every lurch of the train, Jake carrying you on your back and you saying -

“Oh.” You shrink back, and the realization he’s held onto this for two years hits you like a truck. Jake is silent, hands now shoved into his pockets as he awaits your next few words. “And... you have nothing else to say to that?”

Jake lets out a pained groan. “Listen, darlin’, don’t get me wrong. I... care about you so damn much, but I can’t feel for you the way you want me to. We wouldn’t work.”

His words make you freeze and your anxiety screams out ‘I told you so!’ in a manner that echoes thunderously throughout your brain. This unrequited love is something you’ve always expected, always prepared yourself for, yet you never gave it much further thought to safeguard your heart.

You’re rapidly accelerating through the stages of grief - next, your anger comes back to you. First, in small rivulets that trickle down your spine - then as a rush of agony that feels an awful lot like the crash at the bottom of a waterfall. Your eyes burn with the tears you refuse to let fall, your palms already stinging from how hard you’ve dug your manicure into them - but is it fair for you to be mad at him? For not loving you the way you desperately want him to?

For the longest time, a small, tiny part of you hoped Jake would come around, decide to knock on your door, knock you back with a signature bear hug. That he’ll swear to be there always, love you the way you love him.

After tonight, you reflect, it seems like that might never happen. And quickly, you surmise that you’d rather have one part of him than nothing at all. So as you finally reach the stage of acceptance, you vow to treasure every moment of friendship with Jake Seresin.

“I understand,” you tell him, feeling like you’re miles away. “It’s okay.”

“You sure?” His eyes still rake over you with concern.

“Positive.” You do your best to plaster on the most reassuring smile you can.

“Sweetheart -”

“- Can we just talk about this later?” you interrupt, feeling defeated and embarrassed all rolled into one. There most certainly is more to the conversation - but all you want to do is prolong it for longer, preserve the fantasy in your mind that you can Jake are alright, that the past few minutes never happened.

He closes his mouth, nods, pushes his hands deeper into his pockets.

From inside, the music suddenly changes - still a slow ballad, but this time it’s Al Green, Let’s Stay Together. “I believe you stipulated that I had to dance to at least one song,” Jake holds out a hand, looking at you almost hopefully. As if the last few minutes hadn’t completely shattered your heart and sent the pieces flying away with the wind.

“Ah,” you say, feeling a wave of exhaustion overcome you. “You go on ahead. Think I just need some more air.”

Internally, your heart is deflating, sending slight tremors throughout your body. But you can’t have Jake know that, can’t have him feel even worse about this, won’t have him feeling an ounce of guilt for something so out of his control.

Despite your best efforts to hold it all in, a small tear escapes and slides down your cheek as soon as Jake’s back turns, and you feel like you might have kicked a pebble that’s about to precipitate an avalanche.

---

Jake calls you up a few days after, initially sounding like he just wants to check in until his tone takes on a more somber note, and your heart drops to your stomach. “Listen, I know we had a little bit of a heated... discussion at the wedding. And I just need you to know I really, really, appreciate you. And I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want, but I just want to make sure we can still stay friends.”

“Yeah, of course -” you stop yourself from readily agreeing, pause to reevaluate how you really want to take this moving forward.

Jake is the love of your life. That much is certain. And you’re not sure how willing you are to push aside your feelings, pretend your confession never even happened, just to go on with the guise that you guys are simply friends. Just friends. Holding off on love in hopes that he’ll come around.

If you’re being completely truthful, a part of you does feel empty without a person by your side, without a companion to walk through life with, without a partner to share all the moments of joy and despair and everything in between with. You’ve tried dating throughout the years - agreed to so many blind dates, worked up the courage to ask guys at the bar out. And somehow, you always run into the same problem.

They’re not Jake.

And it’s not like they’re not as funny as him, or as charismatic or charming or sweet as him. It’s not the fact that they gave you spearmint kisses when you’ve always craved cinnamon. It’s the harsh truth that no matter what, they always feel threatened by your passion for your job and your drive to succeed. Always find problems with you jetting across the world for different projects, and patronize you for saying you wanted to make a difference with your stories.

One Tinder date even mocked you for aspiring to win a Pulitzer - you’d promptly excused yourself to the bathroom and never came back, instead ending your night with a long phone call from Jake, who was six hours ahead at the time but more than happy to console you.

Jake’s always encouraged you, from the very first day at the pizza parlor to now. And the more guys you took a chance on dating, the less hopeful you felt about finding a future with someone as kind, as wonderful, as unwaveringly supportive as Jake.

Maybe it’s time to let go of the pipe dream.

“Actually, no. I don’t think I can move forward as just friends,” you rush out, and admittedly, it feels like you’re ripping off a bandaid but the sting feels more like an ache. “And don’t get me wrong - your friendship means the world to me. Even if you think we’re different people now. But it feels like nothing’s changed for me, Jake. I think for years, I’ve been holding onto the hope that you’ll come around and feel the same way. But after this past weekend... I think I need some space. Just so I can get over you, if you’re not changing your mind anytime soon.”

Jake’s silent on the other end of the line - the only indication that he hasn’t dropped off is the sounds of cars rushing on the other side. A part of you hopes he’ll take the bait you cast with your final sentence, that at the very least, he’ll consider reconsidering. You don’t think you’ll get that lucky.

“If that’s what you want.”

“It’s not,” you quickly reassure him while blinking away tears, feeling numb. “And I don’t want to be cliche and tell you it’s what I need, Jake - because believe me, sometimes it feels like I need you like I need a Pilot G2 pen or the sun. But I can’t live like this. I can’t settle for just having part of you because that’ll be agonizing for me.”

Silence on the other end. “I hope you understand,” you quietly add.

“I do, sweetheart. I’m sorry,” his voice is void of emotion. You try not to think too hard about it, try to transport yourself back to a better moment when he was right there in front of you with every feeling written on his tanned, chiseled face.

Deep inhale. “Bye, Jake.”

AGE TWENTY-NINE (I cause no harm, mind my business, if our love died young, I can’t bear witness)

These gentrified tapas places are a menace to society. You shift uncomfortably on the cold, sad metal excuse for a barstool. This restaurant is noisy - glasses clinking together, patrongs cheers-ing to various occasions, champagne bottles popping open. Yet, the sound of the entrance dinging open is the only thing that makes you perk up, has you involuntarily glancing up hopefully in an attempt to manifest a familiar handsome pilot walking across the threshold to join you on your anniversary. But to your disappointment, it’s only a bunch of drunk bankers stumbling out.

In the past year, you’ve found a number of ways to distract yourself from the pain of not having your best friend. As per Dr. Richard’s advice from your first therapy session, you tried your hardest to find comfort in solitude: catching films in the theater alone, wandering through new art exhibitions by your lonesome; you even attended a wine tasting in Brooklyn and ended up passing the time with a group of ladies who encompassed very similar energy to the Sex and the City Quartet (and you ended up getting some solid reassuring advice after you lamented your complicated friendship - Samantha’s carbon copy was all too ready to shit on Jake by the end of your tale).

All in all, you’re content to be scoping out this restaurant solo, trying their featured cocktails and appetizers and people watching. You’re trying your best to convince yourself that you’re okay being where you are right now. The only thought that puts a damper on your night, sets your pride back a little is the realization that this might be the first October thirteenth you’ve spent alone in thirteen years. It shakes to your core, makes you flag down a bartender for a whiskey neat, but you calm down, take a deep breath, and let it out.

Jake’s a different man, not the boy who sat in front of you in your beloved pizza shop with a crinkly-eyed smile, telling you “you’re just a cool person.”

In the same way, you’re most certainly a different girl than the one who sat in front of him with a ten-color shuttle pen and bright eyes, one who was just grateful he’d seen a companion in you to begin with.

You’re a strong, self-assured, career-driven woman now. You’ve been featured on a variety of articles ranging from the devastating 2016 US Presidential Election, to a Buzzfeed Guest Feature on what your favorite ink color said about you, to discussing culture and conflict in the Middle East. While Jake’s support from the very beginning was part of what motivated you, what spurred you on, you are the one who did all the hard work. You are powerful, driven, intelligent, sophisticated.

You’re also drunk, and dialing a number you know by heart.

“The number you have dialed is not available. Please leave a message or...”

After the beep, you steel yourself. “Hey, Jake,” you clear your throat, gripping your phone tightly in your palm and taking a deep breath. “I, uh... Just wanted to wish you a happy anniversary. Think it’s the first one I’ve spent without you in a while.”

You pause, look around at the tapas bar as you try to gather your thoughts, wistfully eye the empty barstool next to you.

“I know I said I needed some time before. And I’m glad you honored that - truly, from the bottom of my heart. Even though a part of me wanted you to change your mind and chose me over not having me. Does that make any sense?”

Your eyes catch on the bartender who’s cleaning glasses with a towel a few feet away from you, catch him shaking his head slightly.

“Do you mind?”you snap, and he at least has the decency to look a little embarrassed at being caught eavesdropping. Quickly, he flashes you an apologetic smile before comically pretending to hear a patron calling out their order and dashing across the bar.

You snort, shaking your head. “Sorry. Some asshole was just... Never mind. You would’ve hated this place, Jake. I mean, aside from nosy people, it’s got overpriced drinks with Edison lights hanging from the ceiling. And there’s no jukebox - they’re just playing top 40s hits over and over again. Like, this is the third time I’m hearing Shape of You and I got here less than an hour ago.”

Again, you pause, feeling embarrassed at your incessant rambling. Debate whether to blab about what’s been plaguing your mind since you woke up this morning. “Sometimes I wish I never said anything and that we could’ve just stayed friends. I just don’t think that would’ve been fair to me - because I meant what I said, Jake. I’m in love with you. Even if we’re different people - I would’ve loved getting to know every version of you.”

It feels like a breakthrough, saying the words out loud, realizing that things truly are going to be more different than they used to be. And for the first time, you don’t feel like you’re perpetually mourning a friendship, you don’t feel waves of anxiety that try to convince you that you conflated your friendship to mean more. You can breathe easily.

“I think I’ve realized that the person I am today is all a conglomeration, a constellation of every interaction I’ve had with other people. And for the most part, I am who I am because of our friendship, because of your presence in my life. So a part of me is finding it hard to let go of that and move on without you being so ingrained in me. But I’m trying. I’m going to therapy, at least,” you smile optimistically, wiping away the first tear you’ve let yourself shed today.

“So rest assured, I’ll be okay without you, Seresin. In case you were worried. But no matter what, this day will always remain special to me. You’ll always be special to me.”

AGE THIRTY (and it’s been so long, but if you ever think you got it wrong, I’m right where you left me)

You don’t realize it’s the day of your anniversary until you catch a glimpse of the date on your phone, realize why you felt like you were missing something the entire day. At first, it sends a wave of anxiety over you, makes your stomach swoop like you missed the last step on the staircase.

But as best as you can, you remind yourself that taking on this special day alone is part of your healing process, that sometimes we create our own heartbreak through expectation, and that it’s just a matter of managing your hopes, assuaging your guilt, honoring your friendship by yourself for the second year in a row.

It’s taken time, but you’ve made your peace with the fact that Jake won’t be playing as active a role in your future as you’d hoped. Maybe you two can just be the type of friends who send each other Christmas cards and call on your birthdays. Years later, maybe you’ll finally settle down and find someone who will support you just as well as Jake did, who will treat you kindly and see you as more than a friend to hold hands with from time to time and look at your lips sometimes and give you piggyback rides when you’re too drunk. If you have kids, maybe you’ll have Jake over to meet your family, oblige him to regale them with tales of your friendship, send gift cards for their birthdays and talk about his time in the Navy - if they’re interested in hearing about Uncle Jake’s career path.

That’s all. You settle for keeping him in your footnotes, for cherishing the memory of who he used to be.

Even if you’ll always be in love with Jake, that doesn’t mean you have to wither away waiting for him.

In the middle of catching up on some editing and shooting out some emails from the comfort of your plush couch, your phone rings with a familiar name proudly displayed at the top. Immediately, you narrow your eyes, wondering if he’s remembered or if it’s some weird fluke that he’s calling you on today of all days.

“Hello?” you answer cautiously.

“Hey, darlin’,” you hear Jake’s easy tone flow through the speakers, and despite all the growth you’ve endured, despite all the lessons you’ve etched into your heart, your brain turns to mush.

“Hi Jake,” you force out, feeling as nervous as you did that day you interviewed him at the pizza place. At times like this, you wish you had your old landline from back in the day so you could coil the cord around your fingers idly, distract your nerves momentarily from the fact that this is the first time you’ve heard his voice in two years. “How’ve you been?”

“I’m alright,” His voice is stilted, slightly muffled. Sounds just as easy as you remembered it, “Just... Remembered what today was.”

“It’s Saturday.” The quip rolls off your tongue before you can think any better of it - and you cringe inwardly at how rude you must have sounded. “I’m sorry, that was...”

But Jake’s chuckling on the other end, a delightfully warm sound, one that pulls a surge of pride from deep within your chest. “Yeah. You're not wrong.”

And just as quickly, it fades into the awkward silence - the kind you never used to have with Jake. Mentally, you flow through all the happenings in this past year, think about where his Ma told you he’d been last.

“How’s San Diego?” - “Can you buzz me up?” you both speak at the same time, and his answer makes you freeze, makes time suspend for a few seconds as if you’re floating outside of your own body.

“I’m outside your building, I think. Unless your Ma sent me the wrong address, which admittedly, I’d deserve but - "

“- You’re in New York?” you ask, still in shock, finally feeling in control of your muscles and limbs and words. Hurriedly, you scramble off your couch and swipe up your empty tea mug, then rush to your kitchen to deposit it unceremoniously into your sink.

You hear the sound of a car horn beeping on the street echoing both in real time and on the line, further sending your heart into a frenzy. “Yeah - you do live off 65th, right? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to just pop in like this - ”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you breathe out, making your way to your front door with your phone still sandwiched between your ear and your hand. “I just... Wasn’t expecting company.”

He snorts on the other end. “S’not like the Queen of England is coming. It’s just me.”

“Somehow, I think that’s worse,” you muse, leaning against your hallway wall and hovering your finger over the button to let him in. If hearing his voice has put you this much on edge, you can’t imagine what it’ll do to you if you see him in person.

“Maybe so,” Jake agrees, and you can practically hear the forlorn smile in his voice. “Mind letting me up, though? Just wanted to talk. In person.”

The reality of the situation crashes down on you - that Jake’s practically been AWOL for the past few years, that your friendship has felt one-sided and exhausting to try and keep up with, that you spent your last anniversary alone and sobbing into your cellphone So a part of you wants to turn him down, hustle him out of your safe space - but your heart pounds rapidly with its demands for answers, your brain implores you to hear him out.

Without a second thought, you push the button and hear the resounding buzz on Jake’s side, followed by a “See you soon, sweetheart.” The line clicks.

Mind going a million miles a second, you turn to glance at your reflection in the hall mirror that you’ve procrastinated hanging up for months now. You level a determined look at yourself, brush some crumbs off your sweatshirt and smooth some flyaways before pushing your shoulders back, standing up tall and proud in an attempt to exude confidence.

Three heavy knocks sounding out at the door immediately makes your look turn panicked, sending you stumbling over your feet as you reach to grab the doorknob and pull it open to reveal Jake Seresin standing in your narrow apartment hallway.

Not even five seconds have passed and you’re already annoyed with him. He’s still mind numbingly handsome: tall as ever, blonde hair still infuriatingly shiny and soft, green eyes catching the dim evening light, glimmering back at you like gemstones. It makes your stomach swoop, brings the butterflies fluttering back into your chest from where you’d banished them.

Asshole.

“Hey,” he greets, quirks up a corner of his mouth into a half smile that would normally have you swooning if you weren’t already frozen.

“Hi, Jake,” you manage out, eyes raking over his figure just to convince your mind that he’s really there, actually standing just a few feet in front of you. Shaking away the doubts, you step to the side, gesture for him to enter your apartment.

It’s not the sound of his footsteps that convince you, nor is it the brief brush of his arm as he sidles into your narrow apartment hallway or the unreal sight of how he fills up the space and how his shoulders stretch from wall to wall. It’s the familiar heavy scent that hits you - tobacco and vanilla - which makes your cheeks flush, your heart skips a beat.

He’s really here.

Gathering your wits, you follow him into your cramped living room, grateful that you’d done some vacuuming and tidying up that morning in an effort to banish all the anxieties and ruminations that come with this special day. “Feel free to sit anywhere,” you find your voice, snatch up an oversized throw to make some room on the couch.

He nods, turns around to assess your space thoughtfully before settling himself into the cushions.“I got your voicemail,” he tells you. “From last year.”

Oh. It suddenly feels bitter, leaves a sour taste in your mouth. “You didn’t call back?” you hedge, immediately going on the defense. Instead of sitting down next to him, you elect to slide into the armchair furthest away from him, an attempt to shield yourself from him. An attempt to avoid making the same mistake twice.

“I was going away on assignment the next morning,” Jake explains quietly, patiently. He meets your disbelieving look with somber eyes. It only slightly alleviates the pressure building in your chest. “And... honestly, I didn’t want to worry you. It was one of those missions. The kind I wasn’t sure I would come back from - like, where they’re telling us to call home and lay down all the cards.”

You pause for a moment, absorb his words and feel a twinge of hurt upon the realization that you weren’t kept in the loop, that you never even knew you stood a chance at losing him. Before the emotions can rattle you too much and send you spiraling with anxious thoughts and what ifs, he explains further..

“I thought I would spare you the details, spare you from having to prepare to lose me. I was okay with that decision up until the moment one of my engines failed and my jet was going down - and the one thing that flashed through my mind was that I wouldn’t get to talk to you again, or see you, or how when you win your Pulitzer you wouldn’t be able to call me to tell me the news or how I wouldn’t be able to hang up the print of your winning piece next to your union one,” his voice is shaking slightly, and you know if you even attempted to reply your words would quiver just as much. In this moment, you’re trembling with your hands folded over your eyes to hide the tears brimming.

It’s a mix of sadness and anger and disappointment and you try your best to hold off on the tornado, but it rips your soul to shreds the more you realize the gravity of the situation. “You’re fucking kidding me,” you grit out, pressing your lips together to barricade the sobs. Your hands are tightly wrapped around a throw pillow, squeezing and kneading out your frustration on it. You can barely stand to look at him. “Took you a near death experience to call me? You think I haven’t already put myself through the fucking wringer after feeling so guilty for cutting you off just because you were too scared to love me? And you almost died?”

“I’m sorry,” Jake repeats, at least sounding sincerely apologetic.

“I appreciate that, Jake,” you reply bitterly, then defeatedly toss the pillow to the side. “When did you even get back?”

His jaw tenses slightly and he sighs, and you immediately feel triumphant for successfully frustrating him, as petty as it sounds. “Few months back. And I’m sorry for not calling you. I wanted to as soon as I got back, but I wanted to say all this face to face. And it took some time for me to figure out my shit, but I’m here now, if you’ll hear me out?”

All you can do is nod, purse your lips and let him say his piece - there’s no pressure to forgive him or fall into his arms.

“I think you were right,” Jake continues seriously. You dig your nails into your palms anxiously. Under any other circumstance, you would have loved hearing those words from anyone else. Not now. Not Jake. “You were right to call me out when you said I was letting the fear of becoming my dad hold me back from chasing what I want.”

As your anger slightly dissipates, you think back to that moment - about how those were just a few of the words you wish you could snatch up out of your past and make them disappear. Your breath hitches. “I was a bit harsh - "

“- But you were right,” he interrupts. “And I think that’s another reason why I shut down, because you know me so well. After all these years, I think you know me better than I know myself.”

You nod, not sure what exactly to say to that. It’s not like you can explain to him that you were so incredibly taken by him, that you held onto his every word and agonized over interaction in hopes of really getting to know your best friend.

Jake goes on: “And you have to know that my dad broke Ma’s heart like it was nothing. Married for twenty years, dated for five years, friends for another ten years. Even after you add all that up, it’s still not enough to keep them together. He still went for the first temp who waltzed into his office, still fucked with both of them for months on end. If my parents couldn’t keep it together, how could anyone else?”

You’re stunned, frozen in shock before you manage to gather your strength, pick up your thoughts and hurl them right back at him. Screw this defeatist attitude he’s picked up. “You have to understand that’s the nature of some relationships, Jake. Sometimes they’re not meant to last forever, sometimes people change - "

You halt, feel a wave of déjà vu. The words on the tip of your tongue sound eerily familiar to something that’s replayed in your mind for the past two years, and a couple puzzle pieces start to fit together. “Is this why you were spouting all of this bullshit at the wedding? About us changing?”

Suddenly, he launches up from the couch, walks two steps across the room and pivots on his heel to walk the two steps back in an attempt to furiously pace. He groans out exasperatedly, rakes a hand through his stupid perfect blond hair. “I mean... Yeah. It made sense at the time,” he admits. Briefly, you wonder when his nervous tics changed in the past few years, when did he switch from bouncing his legs under tables to wearing a path into carpets?

People change indeed. In more ways than one.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” you tell him matter-of-factly, and there’s no sugar-coating your words anymore. He makes a sound, as if he’s about to feign offense, but you power through. “People change all the fucking time, Jake. How the hell are we supposed to grow and become better versions of ourselves if we stay stagnant? Where’s the fucking story in that?”

You huff out a laugh, don’t even wait for him to reply before continuing on a rant. He’s stopped pacing now, is looking at you, but you’ve sprung up to your full height to look at him straight on, deliver your words as firmly as you can.

“People change, Jake, especially when they’re in relationships - it’s a matter of adapting, supporting them and loving your partner through it. And like, let’s be clear: I’ve changed a lot, too. Physically and emotionally - but I’m okay with it because I realize it’s made me become someone my sixteen year old self would be stoked to meet. And not just because I live in the city or because I have, like, two Montblanc pens - but because I’m working on these stories and they fly me out wherever to interview people, and I know I haven’t sent my stuff to you in a while, didn’t think you’d still want to read it - ”

“- I’ve kept up,” Jake interrupts. You stop in your tracks, tilt your head to the side as you process this. “I wanted to read them.”

“You have?” you ask dubiously, doubtfully. Hopefully.

“‘Course,” he affirms, sends you a reassuring smile and stands up straighter, takes a step forward. “I mean, not while I was overseas, I read up when I got back. I really liked that one about the Obamas’ portraits. Thought that was pretty cool. But the one about the grassroots movements for peace in Afghanistan got me thinking. Like, obviously I was assigned there for a while, but didn’t really consider other things happening there - Actually, I had some questions for you, but we can talk about it later...”

“Oh. Sure.” You’re slightly shocked at the confession, at the small vision that flashes through your mind of Jake typing your name into Google and catching up on your stories, determinedly following your career even during the most unstable moment in your friendship. It sparks hope in you, sends a wave of hope crashing down on you forcefully. “Wow. I didn’t think you… That means the world to me, Jake.”

He’s quiet for a moment, excitement reverting back to a somber contemplative expression. “I understand what you’re saying about change,” he says hesitantly, rocks back on his heels. “And I think I’m starting to understand what you meant in your voicemail about the... conglomeration stuff. Loving every version of me. Because I really feel the same way about you.”

It’s ambiguous, a little mysterious, his words a little stilted and broken, and you replay his words over and over to try and dig up the meaning behind them. But he’s taking another step towards you - if you reach out, you can certainly reach up and run your finger across the small bump in his nose from that football all those years ago. Hold his cheek in your hand like you've always wanted to.

“I don’t know when it happened,” he’s saying, and it makes your heart thud a million miles a minute, makes you want to pinch yourself. “I can’t remember it for the life of me. But I think about the moment I realized it - when you said it to me four years ago. And I regret not saying anything back every fucking day.”

Your heart stumbles, crushes up against the front of your ribcage as it tries to peek out at the man you’ve loved since you were seventeen. “Oh, Jake,” your response rolls out along with two tears down your cheeks.“ It’s okay - “

The scent of vanilla tobacco hits you first, then his chest as he pulls you into a giant bear hug that envelops you in a warmth that could put both the sun and Texas bonfires to shame. Your face is pressed into his jacket and he’s talking, saying something that you don’t really register until you tilt your head up and dig your chin into his firm chest.

“I’m in love with you, sweetheart,” the words burst forth. His hand’s resting gently on the small of your back - the warmth of his palm radiates comforting heat through your body that only multiplies as he pulls you into him. You stabilize your hands on his shoulders, crane your neck to look up at him and map out every part of his face - from the small lines in his forehead to the slope of his nose to the slight redness in his cheeks. “It’s okay if it’s too late, if you’ve moved on. I just don’t want to lose you again, don’t want to risk not talking to you, can’t - ”

“Of course I’m in love with you, stupid man,” the words come to you as easily as breathing does. The smile that spreads across his face brings back your favorite eye crinkles, carves a dimple into the corner of his mouth, makes it feel like you’re bathing in sunlight. And Jake wastes no time, doesn’t even hesitate before he’s breathing out a question and you're nodding tearfully and then he's cupping both of your cheeks gently and surging forward to press his lips to yours.

Jake tastes like cinnamon, just as you’ve always suspected. Aside from that, nothing about the way you love Jake is predictable. Nothing is ever steady, nothing is ever expected. Every moment with him brings forth a new set of revelations that drives you crazy, tears you to pieces. And somehow, it’s all incredibly worth it, worth the brief heartbreak, worth the years of hoping and waiting for him to join you. Because in the end, he made it. In this moment, it feels like everything is just right.

#hangman x reader #jake seresin x reader #hangman imagine #jake seresin imagine #tgm fanfic #mine

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odiesdayoff · 7 months

Text

Trust Your Instincts

pair: Jaime Reyes x fem!reader

summary: Post-graduation, your childhood friend seems to be ignoring you. Once he shows up, secrets are revealed, voluntarily or not.

warnings: SMUT (18+++ MINORS DNI); begins as like pretty dubious, but turns into both parties consenting. Really thin line here, they do have a mutual attraction and explicitly say that they want it.

im gonna be so real i saw an ad for this and started writing...lol. Haven't seen BB at the time of writing this a while ago! Characters are prob inconsistent. i just have like a severe mask kink.

honestly this is unfinished, but i know in my heart I will never get back to it no matter how many times I say it lol. Imagine what happens next teehee.

“He’s not coming?” You brought the towel from over your shoulder and continued to dry the plates as Jaime’s mother handed them to you. Lunch was over and you were excited to see your best friend, but he was awol.

She gave you a sympathetic look as she handed you another clean plate. “I’m sorry, mija. He’s been acting strange ever since he got back. I know he misses you.”

You nodded and placed the towel on the counter. There’s no way he could possibly just up and abandon you after all this time. The two of you had been best friends since the first grade and even though he went all the way to Gotham City for college and you stayed in Texas, you were still close as ever. At least you think so.

“Well, I’ve gotta go. Thank you for the lunch, you know how much I adore your cooking.” You brought her into a hug and she kissed your cheek. She was like a second mom to you. All of Jaime’s family was basically your own. It took this long for them to stop the teasing about you getting together.

It had been months since Jaime allegedly returned to Texas and yet, he hasn’t reached out to you. Not by phone or in person, no matter how much you tried to talk to him. It felt worse than any breakup you’d gone through. Usually, he was the shoulder for you to cry on.

A loud crash woke you up. It was around two in the morning. In your flannel pajama pants and a black tank top, you ran into your living room to see what happened. There was a large hole where your door should have been and laying on the floor was Jaime.

Your hand flew to your mouth and knelt down to him. His curls stuck to his forehead from sweat and his chest rapidly rose and fell. “Get away! Please, get away!” He pushed you away, yelling and borderline whimpering.

There was something wrong with him and you weren’t just going to do what he told you. “Jaime, please just tell me what’s going on. You’re not okay.” You pushed his hair from his face only to see the fear in his eyes as he looked at you.

He flipped to his back and crawled until he hit the wall, his body colliding into it. Another dent appeared. Chips of drywall fell on him. “I’m…gonna call an ambulance, okay?”

You pulled out your phone, but before you could even unlock it, it was no longer in your hand. Jaime, now fully covered in a blue suit of armor, crushed it in his hand. “Oh my god.”

He dropped the phone and shook his head. “I don’t control it. It controls me. I promise you.” His voice was slightly distorted due to the helmet he had on.

“Okay, so can’t you call, like, Batman or something?” If this were a normal situation, you know that he would’ve laughed.

He held your shoulders. “I need you to get away. Right now.”

You shook your head. “I’m not gonna leave you like this.”

A robotic voice came from the suit, saying your full name and society security number. Jaime started to shake his head frantically and tried to step away from you. The suit disagreed.

The suit trapped you against the counter. “Please stop!” Jaime yelled. His helmet popped open to reveal his face, still scared. “I’m so sor-” The suit didn’t let him finish, instead it pushed him towards you. His lips crashed into yours.

You felt guilty kissing back. It wasn't either of your volition, but the teenage version of yourself was screaming and frolicking in a field of flowers just to be kissing him.

The robotic voice returned, louder now. “It is my duty to keep you healthy. Sexual health is one of those aspects.” The suit retracted more, pulling his shirt and jeans from his body. He was left in his boxers, staring at you. It continued. “I know you have a crush on her. Don’t be a pussy.”

His eyes widened and his cheeks grew red. “Is that true?” He sheepishly nodded.

You bit your lip. “It’s true for me, too.”

#jaime reyes x reader #blue beetle x reader #blue beetle #odiesdayoff

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dancingtotuyo · 4 months

Text

Overtime

Joel Miller x F!reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Summary: You and Joel fight over the remote as adults do.

Warnings/Tags: language, established relationship, handjob (M receiving), some restraint, insinuated that Joel is larger than reader (he can move you around), implied sex, football references, Joel and reader being menaces to eachother

Words: 1165

Notes: Let’s try this again! Tumblr flagged the first one (tumblr you prude!) written for @iamasaddie’s moodboard game! I had so much fun writing this! And seeing everyone else’s creative genius with their moodboards! Huge shoutout to my love and fellow sportsball enthusiast, Angela @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin, for letting me talk through stuff and beta reading! And last but not least, @saradika for the divider!

Joel is used to lazy Sunday afternoons on the couch. Typically committing Saturdays for errands and projects, he’s tried to use Sundays as a day to spend time with Sarah, but she’s out of town with her best friend until this evening. Which is how Joel finds himself spread out on the couch, the warm sun pulling through your window on the other side of town.

The tv hums with the voices of the sportscasters over the Cowboys’ game. He can hear you bustling around in your bedroom, two threads keeping him tied to consciousness.

There’s the distinct sound of your footsteps and the channel switching as the broadcaster’s voices change. They’re leading into the late game.

“I was watching that,” Joel says, gruffly.

“You’re sleeping.”

“Am not.” Joel runs a hand over his face, slowly blinking his eyes open. “Just resting my eyes.”

You let out a huff of laughter. “Okay, Dad.”

He eyes your backside as you’re engrossed in the pregame commentary. Dressed in the familiar light blue of your well worn Houston Oilers shirt, a smile spreads across his face. “Is that really what you want to call me?”

You flip him off.

Joel bites back a laugh. He reaches out, pinching your bottom firmly between two fingers. You squeal, spinning to face him. “Joel Miller,” you say, crossing your arms.

“C’mon, Sweetheart. The Oilers left Texas years ago. They ain’t even the Oilers anymore,” he prods, knowing he’ll get a rise out of you. “Turn the Cowboys game back on. It’s almost over.”

“My aligiance is not dependent on the location of my team.” You stick your tongue out. “The cowgirls should’ve put the Giants away by now. Not that you would have noticed.”

“Rude.” He scowls.

“My house, my rules, Miller.”

He lets out a sound that reminds you of a growl and before you have time to tease him about it, his arms are around you, pulling you down to the couch with him. You laugh as his lips press to your neck right where you like it.

Your laughter quickly turns into a soft moan as your head dips against his shoulder. His fingers skirt under the hem of your shirt, caressing the soft flesh of your stomach. “You like that baby?”

You nod your head as soft whimpers fall from your lips. Joel chuckles again. His arm slips around your waist, tugging you flush against him.

“Such a good girl,” he purrs in your ear, fingertips trailing down your wrist.

If you thought you couldn’t melt anymore, you’re wrong. Something akin to a whine escapes your lips as you turn your head to kiss him. You’re so close to his lips when his slow chuckle turns to a laugh and the tv remote slips from your grasp.

He flips the station back just as the Cowboys are kicking off for overtime. Before you can react, he tosses it across the room, holding you against him.

“You jackass!” You strain against him, trying to break free.

“I’m just trying to finish my game.”

“You barely started it before you passed out.”

“Wasn’t sleepin.” Joel’s voice is still gruff in your ear.

You try to wiggle free, but it’s useless. He knows from more than enough experience how to keep you in one spot.

You get more anxious as the minutes tick by, shifting as you can between his legs.

“They’re about to kick off,” you fuss at him.

“Overtime will be done soon.” He pats your thigh placatingly. “We’ll turn on your Oilers’ game then, or whatever they’re calling themselves now.”

You roll your eyes.“The Titians?” You shift again.

“I know my teams, Sweetheart.” Joel nips at your earlobe, eyes trained ahead. “And quit shiftin.”

You furrow your brow, until it hits you, literally. His cock presses into your back as a slow smirk spreads across your face. “Why? Is this affecting you?”

You rub against him more intentionally this time. His breath grows ragged in your ear. His hands move to your hips, desperate to stop your motions. He’s not going to let you win the game.

Try as he might, he doesn't have the sheer strength to keep you immobile. Your hands drop to his thighs, fingers trailing the inner seam of his jeans.

You glance behind you. Joel refuses to look at you, a slight twitch in his set jaw. You’re not sure he’s actually absorbing the game anymore.

Your hand creeps up, landing between the two of you as you palm his erection.

He lets out a low groan, gripping your wrist. “Don’t start what you can’t finish.”

You smirk. “Who said I couldn’t?”

He groans, back hitting the couch, but keeps a hold of your non-dominant hand, tethering you to him.

You pop open the button of his jeans and his cock springs free. You raise an eyebrow at him. “This is a new development.”

“Had to make things easier for you.” He winks.

You scoff, tracing a vein with your finger tips. “Such a pretty little cock.”

“Little?” He teases. “Ain’t nothing little here, Sweetheart.”

You spit in your free hand before gripping him. You run a finger over his tip, spreading out the precum that’s begun to leak. Joel’s head hits the couch with a low groan.

Using your tongue and hands, you waste no time working him to the edge. You’re far enough into your relationship to know how to get Joel off with quick efficiency.

His hips thrust up. “Fuck, Just like that, Sweetheart. You know how I like it.”

His eyes are closed, chest heaving with desire. He’s all but forgotten about the heated overtime match playing on the TV.

You could finish him off right here. Two quick moves and you know he’d make a mess right here, but his grip on your wrist loosens just enough for you to slip free.

The moment your warmth is gone, Joel’s eyes open. He’s dazed, looking blissed out on your couch. He makes eye contact with you, and you shoot him a wink before flipping the station once again to your football game.

Joel groans, rising to his feet. Laughter settles in your bones. He’s trying to look menacing, but his features are still clouded in lust and desire.

“That wasn’t very nice of you.”

“Neither was turning off my game in my house.”

He rips the remote from your hands, tossing it to the couch. He grabs your hips, spinning you toward the wall.

Your hands spread out against the dry wall with a thud, breath catching in your throat as heat floods your body. “Suppose I need to teach you a lesson now, Sweetheart.” He drags out the nickname as if there’s nothing sweet about you.

Shivers rush down your spine. You’re not sure how much of a lesson he teaches you, but it’s worth missing the first quarter.

Joel doesn’t know how his game ends until the halftime report and quite frankly, he doesn’t care.

#✏️ game #joel miller #the last of us #Joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #Joel miller x you #pedro pascal #tlou #mature #pedrostories #Pedro stories #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction

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viking-raider · 6 months

Text

Thankful

Summary: For Thanksgiving, you decide to take part of a military support group event and host a Veteran, having them over for dinner. Forming a lasting bond with a certain Captain.

Pairing: Henry Cavill/Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warning: G - Cotton Candy Goodness, Angst, Mention of Loss of Family Member, Mourning, Cold Mother, Embarrassed!Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Alcohol Use, Fluff, Friendly Bets, Southern Charm

Inspiration: It’s for Thanksgiving. 🍗

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this! Line divider by @FIREFLY-GRAPHICS! My Syverson's first name is Austin.

If you would like to get notifications for my writing! Just follow my Tag List blog, @VIKING-RAIDER-TAGLISTand turn on the notifications for it! It’s that easy! @VIKING-RAIDER-LIBRARY

You had received the message from one of the countless Military support groups you were a part of about the Sponsoring a Veteran for Thanksgiving event, and if you were interested in participating. You had hesitated for a couple days, before finally caving. You didn't have much family left of your own, just your mother. Since your father passed, when you were a kid and your only sibling, a brother, had been killed in the line of duty. Which was why you were a member of the support groups, looking to keep a closeness to him, and find some sort of peace with his death.

“All right.” The lead organizer, retired Lieutenant Sarah Timmans, sighed, looking over her clipboard at the list of names of all the Veterans that had been signed up for the event. “Your mother knows you're hosting a Vet, right?” She asked, cocking a brow at you, knowing how sensitive and touchy your mother was still about being around anything directly Military.

“I told her, I was bringing a friend over.” You answered, biting your lip nervously, knowing your mother's own mood swings on the subject.

“Girl, she's going to flip out on you.” Sarah said, shaking her head, eyes bulging. “Maybe, you should just do something one-on-one with them?” She suggested, trying to bypass a disaster.

“She's expecting us, and I'll get an earful, if I skip another family gathering.”

Sarah snorted at you, smirking. “It's your KP!” She teased, going down the list to find your name and who you'd been assigned. “So, your Vet is Captain Austin Syverson. He just retired seven months ago after nineteen years in the service of the U.S Army. Special Forces.” She informed you, looking up from the clipboard to scan the crowded room for a moment.

“Ah, there he is!” She smiled, motioning behind you.

Turning around and following her gaze, you were surprised for a moment, standing on the other side of the room, in a small cluster of other Vets, was a tall, thickly muscular guy, with a shaved head and well groomed beard. Everything about him exuded authority, self-confidence and calm. He was so damn handsome in his pair of dark wash blue jeans, brown cowboy boots and fleshly ironed, black dress shirt that was tucked in, showing off his belt buckle. Your insides tingled as you stared at him, throat going dry.

“Damn, that's a Texas boy.” You mumbled under your breath.

“Sure is.” Sarah agreed, checking him out as well. “You should go introduce yourself, before he thinks you stood him up.” She added, a hint of encouragement in her voice.

“God, you're right.” You started, frightened he just might, then weaved through the crowd towards him, pausing for a moment, until he noticed you. “Hi there.” You beamed up at him, your knees like a nervous jelly.

“Ma'am.” Syverson greeted you back with a Southern drawl, tipping his head forward.

“I'm your host, Captain Syverson.” You informed him, introducing yourself.

“Oh.” He replied, giving you a proper look over, a smile pulling over his lips as he took your lovely figure in the white, knee-length dress covered in delicate yellow flowers, paired with black flats. “It's a pleasure to meet you.” He said, his bright blue eyes meeting yours once more. “You can just call me, Sy.”

“Nice to meet you as well, Sy.” You answered, cordially extending your hand.

Smirking broader, Sy gently took your hand in his, shaking it. “I'm grateful that you've allowed me impose myself on you and your family's holiday.”

“Oh, it's quite all right.” You waved it off, shrugging your shoulders. “It's really just me and my mom, so nothing major.”

“Well, I'm just a Captain, so it'll literally be nothing Major.” Sy quipped, making the group around him crackle at the inside joke.

You dropped your head, hiding your amused smile, knowing the two of you were more than likely to get along, if he had that sense of humor. “Fair.” You nodded, lifting your head. “More than fair. Well, we can leave whenever you like.”

Sy turned over his wrist to glance at his watch. “We can go now, if you like.” He replied, twisting to a chair that was behind him and picking up a black, denim Sherpa coat off the back. “I'll see you boys later. Have a good Thanksgiving.” He bid the men, patting a couple on the shoulder, before following you out of the building.

“You can follow me to my place or we can ride together.” You told Sy, standing on the sidewalk with him, chewing on your lip.

“I can follow.” Sy answered, smiling down at you. “My truck's just over there.” He said, motioning over to the big, 2021 Dodge Ram, parked a short distance away.

“Okay. I'm just right there.” You informed him, pointing out your little KIA Niro.

“On your lead then, Major.” Sy quipped, winking at you, before heading off towards his truck.

“Christ,” You huffed, watching after him for a moment, your hand moving up to a necklace around your neck. “He reminds me so much of you, Phelan.” You sighed, then made for your vehicle.

Pulling out of the parking space, your phone started to ring, so you connected the car's Bluetooth. “Mother.” You answered, glancing in your rear-view, to make sure Sy was behind you, before you started out of the parking lot and into the street.

“How much longer are you going to be?” Your mother snapped through the car's speakers.

“I'm just leaving now, mom.” You sighed, pressing your lips together. “I had to find my friend and now we're heading there now. We should be there in about ten or so minutes.”

“Why is he spending Thanksgiving with us? Doesn't he have his own family?” She demanded, clearly pacing the house.

“I'm sure he has a family, mother. But I invited him over to ours and he accepted. So, please, be nice to him. He's a very polite and outstanding person, who doesn't need to be pestered and guilt tripped, or reminded his mother is lucky, that her son is still alive and not in the military and so on.” You hoped to warn and deter her from her usual interaction with the males she came into contact with. “Let's just have a nice dinner, for once.”

“How can we, when your brother isn't here.” She growled, then the line went dead.

“At least, I'm here.” You sighed, deflated by her words. “I should really warn Sy before we get into the house.” You thought, then pushed that unpleasantness aside.

Sy managed to keep behind your car, drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel. He felt a little nervous about going to a random, pretty young lady's home to have Thanksgiving dinner with her mother. However, he didn't have any other plans for the holiday under his belt, other than staying on the ranch he'd started up on his return home with Aika.

“Idle hands are the devil's workshop.” He commented aloud, following you off the on-ramp.

It would have just been him and his pup, working the horses all day, before making another ten minute meal and sitting in front of his laptop, since he still hadn't gotten around to buying himself a proper tv for the living room. So, he let one of his buddies nag him into signing up for the event. Sy wasn't at all disappointed either.

You were more than easy on his eyes.

Finally making it outside your place, you got out and met Sy in your driveway, shifting glances between him and the front door.

“Are you all right?” Sy asked, squinting down at you.

“Okay, look.” You blurted out, not looking back at him. “My mom is super touchy about the military.” You started to explain to Sy, giving him an embarrassed glance.

“Why?” He frowned, confused.

Your shoulders slumped slightly and a tired expression washed over your face. “My brother died in Afghanistan six years ago. My mom has taken that to her heart and soul. So anything military tends to set her off.”

“Then, should I even be here?” Sy asked, concerned about causing your mother any distress.

“It's my house and you're my guest.” You told him, bluntly. “I want you here for dinner. It'll be nice to have someone over that might actually engage with me.” You said, heading up the footpath towards the front door. “And not remind me that I'm not my dead, older brother.” You added under your breath, but Sy's sharp ear heard you all the same.

“Mom!” You called out, toeing off your shoes as you stood in the entry with Sy. “We're here.”

“Took long enough.” Her voice echoed back somewhere in the house.

You looked up at Sy. “I'm so sorry.” You mouthed, shaking your head.

“It's all right.” He smiled, his hand touching the back of your arm.

“Do you want something to drink?” You asked, showing him into the kitchen and pulling open the fridge. “Got wine, a couple bottles.” You twisted your upper half to peek at an upper shelf. “Looks like she's left my Ardbeg whiskey alone.”

“I wouldn't mind a little whiskey.”

Nodding, you shut the fridge and got down two glasses with the whiskey bottle. “Straight or on the rocks?”

“What are you having?” Sy asked, leaning back against your sink, a twinkle of mischievous curiosity in his eyes.

“The rocks.” You answered, a playful smirk tugging on your lips.

Sy drew a breath in through his nose, pressing his lips together as he nodded. “Impressed.”

“Thank you.” You chuckled, grabbing a couple ice cubes from the freezer and dropped them into your glasses, then poured you and Sy a generous amount of amber liquid. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, ma'am.” Sy tipped his head, taking the glass from you and took a sip. “Damn, that's smooth.”

“Mmm, for a twenty year old bottle, it should be.” You snorted, taking a gulp of yours.

“Twenty years.” Sy choked slightly. “Damn, almost as long as I was in--” He caught himself, eyes shooting to the two kitchen entrances. “Well, you know.”

“Yeah.” You nodded, a little stiff, praying your mother was lurking nearby, and polished off your drink, before moving over to the oven, revealing a nice sized turkey, just starting to turn a golden brown, filling the kitchen with a mouth-watering scent. “I started this about an hour and a half ago, so it should have about another hour or so to go. While it does that, I can show you around.”

“And, if you're as much of a Texan as I think you are, I'll pop the football game on.”

“You don't have to put the game on.” Sy laughed, feeling called out. “We can watch whatever you and your mother want. I'd hate to impose.”

“Captain Austin Syverson, you're not imposing.” You informed him, putting your foot down.

Sy's eyes widened and he gave you a half smirk. “I do love a woman that takes charge. Yes, ma'am, if you say so.”

“Besides, I'd love to see the Chiefs kick the Cowboys ass.” You added, teasingly.

“Oh, you're a traitor to your home state!” Sy gasped, horror on his face.

“Texas isn't my home state.” You giggled at him, then tisked. “Kansas isn't either, to be far.” You snorted, amused by the banter. “But I like Mahomes.”

“What's wrong with Dak Prescott?”

“Nothing! He's a great QB. I'm just a Chiefs girl.”

“I may have to call this Thanksgiving off.” Sy said, draining his whiskey glass and set it on the counter behind him and pushed off the edge. “To eat at the same table as a Chiefs girl, may just be too much for this ol' Texas boy.”

You were worried for a moment that Sy was genuine, and felt terrible for bringing it up, until you finally noticed the look in his eye and relaxed. He had a dry humor and pulled it out on you, catching you good.

“Shoot, you had me there.” You chuckled, breathy.

He winked at you, amusing you more with his cute double blink.

“Well,” You sighed, looking at the kitchen. “This is the kitchen.”

“A very nice kitchen.” Sy echoed, nodding and rubbing a hand over the counter top. “Nice and clean.”

“Thank you, I do my best.” You replied, bowing your head. “Out that way is the dining room, where we'll be having dinner.” You said, motioning to your right, and Sy peeked in, finding a long, glass table already set for three people with nice little autumn decorations as a centerpiece. “Over here, is the living room, where we'll probably be starting our football rivalry.”

You showed him into the living room, just as your mother came downstairs, in nothing but a pair of loose shorts, a tank top and an open bathrobe, a half glass of white wine clutched in her hand. You felt a cold shard of embarrassment go down your back. You had hoped, when you told her you were going to get Sy, she would have dressed into something—anything.

“Mom, this is Sy.” You told her, keeping your voice even. “Sy, this is my mother, Dana.” You introduced them, chewing the inside of your lip to bits.

“Pleasure to meet you, ma'am.” Sy greeted her politely, nodding his head kindly, like nothing was out of place.

She looked Sy over, taking a gulp of her wine. “How do you and my daughter know each other?” She inquired, lifting a brow at him.

You stiffened, you hadn't considered fielding that question from her while Sy was over.

“Work.” Sy said, casually.

“So, she's your accountant?” Dana pressed and showed no sign of easing off.

“I am.” You chimed in, hoping to get her to drop the subject and leave Sy alone.

“That she is.” Sy confirmed, backing you up. “Helps me out with my ranch.” He told Dana, tapping that belt buckle at his waist, bearing the Hook Hill Ranch logo on it.

“Hmm.” Your mother grunted, not sounding convinced. “Why aren't you spending Thanksgiving with your family?” She asked, giving Sy a hard look.

“Mom!” You snapped, horrified.

“It's all right.” He assured you, giving you a soft smile. “I'm an only child. I've never known my father and my mother ran off, when I was ten years old, leaving me to be raised by uncle, her brother. He had a heart attack three years ago, while milkin' his cows. So, it's just me and my dog, Aika, nowadays. Your daughter was kind enough to ask me over to your Thanksgiving dinner, and I accepted.”

“Satisfied?” You asked, annoyed your mother caused Sy to divulge such personal information.

Rolling her eyes, your mother turned in a flare of her bathrobe and headed back upstairs.

“Turkey will be done in an hour!” You called after her, with no reply. “I'm so sorry.” You said, turning back to Sy.

“It's okay.” He said softly, more concerned for you. “Is there anything I can do to help you finish up with dinner?”

“Um,” You tapped your foot. “No, I don't think so. Besides, you're my guest. You should relax.” You told him, waving over to the couch. “I can handle everything.” You assured him, rounding the arm of the couch to swipe the remote of the coffee table and turned the tv on, quickly finding the football game. “Ooh, Cowboys are beating the Chiefs by two points!” You hissed, casting a glance over your shoulder at Sy.

Sy moved to join you, holding your gaze. “I bet you a round of drinks, at a later time, that the Cowboys beat your Chiefs.”

“Are you asking me out on a date, Syverson?” You asked, surprised.

“I am.” He admitted, unashamed.

“Then, you're on.” You grinned, giving him a cocky look. “But, if the Chiefs win, I want to see your ranch.”

“Bold.” Sy smirked, a chuckle rumbling in his chest. “I'll even cook for you.”

“Sold.” You agreed, extending your hand out to him.

He shook your hand, then sat down on the couch, getting comfortable to watch the game, while you returned to the kitchen. Pausing for a moment, you refilled his whiskey glass and took it out to him, giving him a soft smile as you set the cool glass down on a coaster and went back to prepping dinner. Sy watched you over the back of the couch, moving and bumping about, taking a deep breath and taking all the lovely smells of your hard work wafting towards him and making his belly rumble.

Lord have mercy, she's gorgeous.

“You sweet on my daughter?” Dana's voice came up behind him.

Sy's head swung around to look back at her, seeing she'd finally gotten dressed, now wearing a pair of black leggings and a loose, cream colored jumper, but no shoes or socks. “I just might be.” He answered, meeting her gaze head on. “She's a sweet, generous young lady.”

“Young lady, how old are you?” Dana huffed, dropping down into a recliner at the end of the couch.

“I'm thirty-eight.” Sy replied, with an odd amusement.

Dana looked Sy over, her gray eyes scrutinizing. “At least you're both in your thirties.” She huffed, curling her legs underneath her and glared at the tv.

What a curious woman. Sy blinked, shaking his head at her.

The two of them sat quietly, not speaking or interacting with each other any further. Which didn't bother either Sy or Dana. You peeked in at them from time to time, scurrying out to fill Sy's glass, whenever you noticed it was empty and always asking if he needed or wanted something, before vanishing back into the kitchen or dining room.

You wanted the dinner to be as great as possible for Sy, and your mother.

“Dinner is ready, everyone!” You declared, coming into the living room, glancing at the football score, discovering the Chiefs had recovered since the last time you'd entered, now ahead by four points.

“Smells delicious.” Sy complimented you, as he and your mother came into the dining room, finding the set table.

The turkey was juicy and golden-brown, slices already carved and on a plate beside it, with sides of stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls and cornbread muffins, yams with marshmallows, peas and asparagus, accompanied with pecan and pumpkin pie. There were two decanters of red and white wine, a bottle of Ardbeg, and a pitcher of iced tea.

“Thank you.” You grinned with shy pride, biting the inside of your lip. “Sit wherever you like and dig in.” You said, motioning to the chairs around the table, before slipping into one.

Sy joined you, winking at you, as he picked up a plate and started helping himself, piling his plate with meat, rolls, yams and cornbread. “Mmm, this is amazing.” He hummed, nodding his head and chewing his mouthful of turkey and mashed potatoes.

You were giddy that Sy was so in love with your cooking, glancing towards your mother, who was at the end of the table. But found she was sipping a glass of red and nibbling on a buttered roll, to your slight dismay. Pushing the feeling away, you fixed your plate and dug in, moaning at how tasty it was.

“So, your team was winning.” Sy commented, giving you a side brow as he continued to eat.

“Yeah, I noticed.” You smirked, feeling bubbly, as you poured yourself some wine. “Looks like we'll be spending some more time together.”

“That it does.” He nodded, feeling your mother's eyes on him. “I'll have to show you the new foal that was born last week.”

A flood of excitement filled you, you loved the thought of seeing a baby horse. “Oh! I bet they're just the cutest thing on the planet!” You gushed, eyes bright with love already. “What did you name it?”

“Oh, I haven't named the little rascal, yet.” Sy laughed, watching you just gush. “Maybe, you could help me come up with a name for her?” He suggested, looking at you over the rim of his whiskey glass.

“Hmm.” You hummed, falling into a meditative state as you brewed over a name for the baby horse.

“So,” Dana cleared her throat, eyes narrowed between you and Sy. “You're a Rancher?”

“Yes, ma'am.” Sy nodded, turning to regard her, nothing by polite respect in his expression.

“How long have you been one?” She questioned, swirling the wine in her glass.

“Ranchin' has been in my family for generations.” Sy replied, not letting her trip him up. “My many great-grandfather came over from Ireland, just after the American Revolution. Then, when the Civil War happened, my family fought and were granted land at the end, for their service. We've been doing it ever since.”

“So, your family fought for the South.” Dana said bluntly, causing you to choke on your food.

“Mother.” You rasped, eyes practically popping out of their sockets.

“No, ma'am.” Sy said coolly. “We fought for the North.” He told her, and left it at that.

“Are you satisfied?” You asked her slowly, eyes still wide and mouth agape.

“No.” She answered, getting up and leaving the room.

“I'm so sorry, Sy.” You stuttered, ashamed of your mother.

“It's all right, love.” He shook his head, wiping his hands on his napkin. “It's not your fault. It's not hers either, really.” He said softly. “She's mourning her son, and doing so takes the form in many ways. That's how your Ma is coping with your brother no longer being on this Earth.” He told you, resting back in his chair and fixing his blue eyes on you. “You're coping by going to support groups and trying to understand the kind people that he was, that he worked with, that he died surrounded by.”

You bit your lip, a lump of emotion strangling you and blurring your eyes; Sy was right. You wanted to be surrounded by those like your brother. It was like still having him there, in a way. You felt the strong, rough warmth of Sy's hand slip into yours, squeezing it and rubbing his thumb over your wrist as the two of you sat there, quiet and surrounded by your Thanksgiving feast.

“You know,” Sy spoke, breaking the silence. “I could actually use an accountant for my ranch.” He said, smirking over at you. “Plus, how about drinks at my place, while you figure out a new name for my foal? Who cares who wins the game.” He chuckled, arching a suggestive brow at you.

“Are you hinting at a sort of date, Syverson?” You asked, playfully thumb warred him.

“It's possible.” Sy laughed, letting you pin his thumb. “Maybe, I'll even cook you Christmas dinner.”

“Oh, I think I'd like that.” You told him, grinning, thankful you'd decided to host him for Thanksgiving.

#Syverson #Captain Austin Syverson #Thankful *fic*#Thankful #Viking-Raider Fics #Captain Syverson x Reader #Captain Syverson/Reader #captain syverson #captain syverson fanfiction #Syverson x Reader #Syverson/Reader #Fluff #Cotton Candy Fluff #Thanksgiving #Thanksgiving Fic

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dianawinchester03 · 1 month

Text

Season 1, Episode 17 - Hell House

Series Masterlist

Third Person POV

Dean is driving down Interstate 35, Y/N is fast asleep in the back seat after beating Sam in rock paper scissors for it, while Sam is fast asleep in the passenger seat with his mouth open. Dean smirks mischievously at the two, taking up an old spoon he found in the car and shoving it in Sams mouth gently.

Then taking a pen from his jacket pocket, and gently shoving it in Y/N's nose. He smiles proudly, flipping open his phone to take a picture of Sam and then one of Y/N. He then turns the radio up that's playing Fire of an Unknown Origin by Blue Oysters Cult. "A FIRE OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN TOOK MY BABY AWAY!!" Dean sings along loudly, drumming along to the beat in the steering wheel.

Sam jumps awake along with Y/N, panicking when he feels something foreign in his mouth, spitting the spoon out. "What the fuck!?" Y/N yells, startled when she feels something foreign in her nose, pulling the pen that's stuck in her nose out. Sam wipes his mouth as Y/N rubs her nose.

"Ha-ha, very funny" Sam says dryly as Dean chuckles, laughing hysterically. "Sorry. Not a lot of scenery here in east Texas. Kinda gotta make your own" Dean chuckles. "And my nose has to suffer for your boredom" Y/N scoffs, rubbing her nose. Dean smiles at her through the rearview mirror as she rubs her nose like a puppy. His heart flutters at how cute she looks.

"Man, we're not kids anymore, Dean. We're not gonna start that crap up again" Sam says annoyed. "Start what up?" Dean feigns confusion. "That prank stuff. It's stupid and always escalates" Sam snaps. Y/N chuckles a bit at a memory, "Awww what's the matter, Sammy. You afraid you're gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?" Y/N teases her best friend.

Dean laughs hysterically at the memory of a bald soapy hair 13 year old Sam, running out of the bathroom, butt ass naked, screaming in terror like he's in a horror movie after Y/N put Nair in his shampoo because he made cookies and replaced the sugar with salt, then offered it to a innocent Y/N. She's the way with cookies, the way Dean is with pie. You don't mess with her cookies. "Alright. Just remember, you two started it" Sam challenges.

"Oh no no noooo. I am not getting involved in your weird sibling rivalry. I always get caught in the middle of it. No thank you." Y/N protests, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest Dean smirks at her through the rearview mirror. "Wuss" He snickers and Y/N glares at him, flipping him off. "Bring it on baldy" Dean chuckles looking at Sam. "Where are we, anyway?" Sam asks him.

"Few hours outside of Richardson" Dean tells him. "Give us the lowdown again" Y/N asks Sam to explain the case they were working. Sam pulls out his file, "Alright, about a month or two ago, this group of kids go poking around this local haunted house-" Sam explains but Dean cuts him off to ask. "Haunted by what?" He asks.

"Apparently, a pretty misogynistic spirit" Sam responds and Y/N groans. "Just wonderful" She mutters sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Legend goes, it takes girls and strings them up in the rafters. Anyway, this ground of kids see this dead girl hanging in the cellar." Sam continues. "Anybody ID the corpse?" Y/N asks, leaning forward in the backseats between the boys.

"Well, that's the thing. By the time the cops got there, the body was gone. Some cops say the kids were just yanking chains" Sam tells them and their eyebrows shoot up at this. "Maybe the cops are right" Dean suggests. "Maybe, but I read a couple of the kids firsthand accounts. They seem pretty sincere" Sam says. "Where did you read these accounts?" Y/N asks him curiously.

He chuckles lightly, a bit ashamed to answer her question, "Well, I knew we were gonna be passing through Texas to go to Y/N's safehouse. So, uh, last night, I surfed some local...paranormal websites. And I found one" Sam says lowly. Dean smirks as Y/N shakes her head, knowing what this might mean. "And what's it called?" Dean asks his brother. Sam chuckles again before sheepishly answering,

"HellHoundsLair.com". Dean scoffs laughing as Y/N chuckles, "Let me guess, streaming live out of moms basement" She jokes, making both boys erupt loudly with laughter. "Yeah, probably" Sam agrees laughing. "Most of those websites wouldn't know what a ghost was if it hit 'em in the 'persqueeter'" Dean chuckles. "Look, we let our dads take off, which was a mistake, by the way. And now we don't know where the hell they are, so in the meantime, we gotta find ourselves something to hunt" Sam suggests.

"You're right I guess. There's no harm checking this thing out" Y/N shrugs agreeing. Dean sighs, "Alright, so where do we find these kids?" He gives in. "Same place you always find kids in a town like this" Sam says as if it was obvious.

________________________________

Richardson, Texas

A couple hours later, the trio pulls into the parking lot of the local diner by the name of Rodeo Drive to question the teens from the police report.

Boy 1: "It was the scariest thing I ever saw in my life. I swear to God."

Boy 2: "From the moment we walked in. The walls were painted black"

Boy 1: "Red."

Girl: "I think it was blood"

Boy 1: "All these freaky symbols"

Boy 2: "Crosses and stars, and.."

Boy 1: "Pentagons"

Boy 2: "Pentecostals"

Girl: "Whatever. I had my eyes closed the whole time"

Boy 1: "But I can damn sure tell you this much: No matter what anybody else says-"

Girl: "That poor girl"

Boy 2: "With the black..."

Boy 1: "Blonde.."

Girl: "Red hair, just hanging there"

Boy 1: "Kicking"

Boy 2: "Without even moving"

Girl: "She was real"

Boy 1: "It's 100%"

Boy 2: "And kind of hot...well you know in a dead sort of way"

"Okay!" Y/N exclaims, chuckling a bit awkwardly. Disgusted by the last comment. She and the boys, sitting across from the three teenagers in the diner. "And how did you find out about this place, anyway?" Sam asks them, the trio confused by the inconsistencies in the stories.

"Craig took us" The three teenagers respond in unison as the three hunters share a look.

________________________________

The three hunters enter the record store after asking where the Craig guy could be found. "Gentlemen and Lady. Can I help you with anything?" A young man working in the store asks them, carrying a box of records to the register. "Yeah, are you Craig Thurston?" Sam asks him.

"I am" The young man confirms. "Well, we're reporters with The Dallas Morning News. I'm Dean, this is Sam and Y/N" Dean lies on spot, covering as reporters. "No way. Yeah, I'm a writer too. I write for my schools lit magazine" Craig chuckles, boasting a bit. "Ahh, well good for your Morrissey" Y/N jokes, Dean snorts at the reference.

"Um, we're doing an article on local hauntings and rumor has it, you might know about one" Sam says casually and Craig's face drops. "You mean the Hell House?" He asks them. "That's the one" Dean says smiling. "I didn't think there was anything to the story" Craig says. "Why don't you tell us the story, hun" Y/N says sweetly. Craig puts the record in his hand down and sighs.

"Well, supposedly back in the 30s, this farmer, Mordechai Murdock, used to live in the house with his six daughters. It was during the Depression, his crops were failing, he didn't have enough money to even feed his own children" Craig explains, sighing. "So I guess that's when he went off the deep end. "How?" Sam asks curiously as Dean checks out the records.

"Well, he figured it was best if his girls died quick, rather than starve to death. So he attacked them." Craig further explains, the three hunters listening intently. "And they screamed, begged for him to stop but....he just strung em up, one after another. And then when it was all finished. He turned around and hung himself" Craig finishes.

"Now they said that his spirit is trapped in the house forever, stringing up any other girl that goes inside" He adds. "And where did you hear all this?" Y/N asks him, cocking her eyebrow. "My cousin Dana told me. I don't know where she heard it from...You gotta realize. I didn't believe this for a second." Craig defends.

"But now you do" Sam says. "I don't know what the hell to think man" Craig responds lowly. "You guys, I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, okay? That girl was real, alright? She was dead. This was not a prank. I swear to God, I don't wanna go anywhere near that house ever again, okay?" He assures them fearfully.

Y/N cocks her eyebrow at his claims. Not fully convinced but she decided to go with it. They share a look before turning back to him, "Thanks" Dean says gratefully and they all leave the store.

________________________________

Later the boys and Y/N ask around and found the location of, Hell House. Now walking down the path to the abandoned house. "Can't say I blame the kid" Sam says. "Yeah, so much for curb appeal" Dean agrees. Sam and Y/N walk around the side investigating while Dean pulls out his EMF that begins to make some noise.

"You got something?" Y/N asks him. "Yeah, but the EMFs no good" Dean responds, tapping it. "Why?" Sam asks confused. "I think that things still got a little juice in it. It's screwing with all the readings" Dean says, pointing to the power lines. "Yeah, that would do it" Sam says, looking up at it. "Yeah" Y/N sighs and Dean turns to her.

"What about you?" He asks her. "Huh?" She says confused. "You know....your whole ESP thing" He says, pointing to his head and she rolls her eyes. "1, I'm not ESP." She says firmly making him chuckle. "And 2, I actually don't feel anything" She says, crunching her eyebrows.

Knowing normally she feels a heaviness around areas where people have died violently, etc. "Really? No, 'I see dead people'? What about you, Sammy?" He smirks, teasing the two, now turning to his brother who is glaring at him. Y/N shoved him lightly making him laugh loudly. "Come on. Let's go" Y/N ushers the boys towards the house, them following behind.

Dean whistles lowly as they close the door behind them at the state of the house. It was completely trashed, most likely by stupid teenagers. With a bunch of weird symbols all over the room. "Looks like old man Murdock was a bit of a tagger during his time" Dean says, his eyes on the reverse cross painted on the wall.

Y/N notices that some of the symbols are relatively new. "And after his time too" She says, nudging Sam. "The reverse cross has been used by Satanists for centuries" He says pointing to cross. "But this Sigil of Sulfer didn't show up in San Francisco until the 60s" Sam finishes pointing the Sigil.

Dean stares at his brothers blankly, "This is exactly why you never get laid" He deadpans while Sam rolls his eyes, taking a picture of the sigil. "Hey! I get laid" Y/N says defensively. "Yeah, because you're hot. Sam's not" Dean blurts out, shocking the Sam and Y/N, their mouths agape. Only realizing what he said, after it escaped his lips. "You think I'm hot?" Y/N smirks, her tone teasing.

Dean freezes in his tracks as he was walking to the other side of the room. He looks back at the two, Sam with a smug grin on his face, wiggling his eyebrows at his elder brother suggestively, making mock kissy faces in Deans direction. Y/N with her arms crossed over her chest, an amused grin on her face, her back turnt to Sam, so she's oblivious at what Sam's mocking.

Dean clears his throat and gulps. Heat rising to his face. His eyes shifting between his bratty brother and even the brattier women he's in love with. "I- Shut up and work the case!" Dean retorts lamely as the two best friends burst out laughing. Y/N's heart skips a beat at the fact that she's sure now that Dean finds her attractive. Dean then notices a weird looking symbol on the wall, "What about this one. You seen this one before?" Dean asks them, tilting his head a bit to look at the symbol.

The symbol looking somewhat familiar. It was practically an upside down question mark with three lines going out the side of the dot. One on top and two on each sides. Y/N walks next to him and tilts her head also to look at it. "Nope" Sam responds, taking a picture of it. "I have...Somewhere" Dean says in recognition. "Yeah...me too. I don't know where" She agrees.

Y/N then leans forward to touch the symbol, the color of the paint staining her fingers. "It's paint" She informs them, showing them her stained finger. "Seems pretty fresh too" Sam points out. "I don't know, guys" Dean sighs. "I mean, I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind...but the cops might be right on this one" Dean says.

"Yeah, maybe" Y/N agrees. The suddenly, they hear rustling in a nearby room. They share a look before going to the door and pressing up against it on either side, Y/N next to Dean and Sam on the other side. They all nod before bursting in, only to be startled by lights shining in their faces by two guys, Ed and Harry, screaming in fear.

One with a camera and one with a bright studio light. "What the.." Y/N mutters as they all share confused looks on their faces. "Cut. Just a couple of humans" Ed scoffs as Harry switches the camera off. "What are you guys doing here?" He asks the boys annoyed, his eyes settling on Y/N, looking like he's practically in love. "What the hell are you doing here?" Dean asks them, just as annoyed.

Ed clears his throat, his eyes shifting back over to Dean, "We belong here. We're professionals" says cockily, shrugging as if it's obvious. Y/N cocks her eyebrow at this, "Professional what?" She asks them. A smirk rises on Ed's face, "Paranormal investigators" He boasts, pulling out three business, handing it to her. "There you go. Take a look for yourself, gorgeous" He winks at her.

She rolls her eyes, taking the cards from him. Dean glares daggers at Ed, his nostrils flaring. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me" Dean groans as he looks at the business card Y/N handed him and Sam. "Jesus Christ" Y/N groans in annoyance. "Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler. HellHoundsLair.com" Sam looks up as them. "You guys run that website?" Y/N asks them.

"Sure do, gorgeous." He winks at her again and she cringes. "What? Was Venkman and Stantz taken?" She retorts snidely, making them glare at her, a cheeky smile taking over her face. "Oh, yeah, yeah. We're huge fans" Dean says sarcastically, going over to the cabinet, rummaging through it. "And uh, we know who you guys are too" Ed says. "Oh, yeah?" Sam responds as Ed clears his throat cockily.

"Amateurs. Looking for ghosts and cheap thrills. Yeah" He says. The three hunters hold back a laugh at his cocky nature, sharing a look that says 'get a load of this guy'. "So, if you guys don't mind, we're trying to conduct a serious scientific investigation here" Harry finally chimes in. Their amused faces don't falter.

"Yeah? What do you got so far?" Dean asks them snidely. "Harry, why don't you tell them about EMF?" Ed says. Y/N decides to have a little fun with this, "EMF? What's that?" She feigns confusion, scrunching her eyebrows. Dean chuckles lightly at this, shaking his head. "Electromagnetic field" Harry responds smugly.

Turning around to go into his bag to grab his EMF. Sam has a small grin on his face. He and Y/N share an amused look as they begin to explain, "Spectral entities can cause entertainment fluctuations that can be read with an EMF detector. Like this bad boy right here" Harry shows them the EMF that begins going crazy.

"Whoa. Whoa. That's 2.8 MG" Harry points out. Dean and Y/N glance at each other, holding back snickers. "2.8!" Ed exclaims as Dean whistles lowly. "Wow" Sam says in a fake impressed tone. "Huh. So have you guys ever really seen a ghost before or...?" Dean asks them, putting on a curious face as Ed takes the EMF off.

"Once" Ed responds, turning to him. "We were uh investigating this old house..." He begins to explain taking a deep breath. Dean crosses his arms over his chest nodding as if he's shocked. "...and we saw a case fall right off the table" He finishes. "By itself" Harry adds in a low tone, "But we didn't actually see it...but we heard it" Ed explains, Dean looks down shaking his head in disgust.

Sam and Y/N roll their eyes. "And something like that...it changes you" Ed whispers. "Yeah, I think I get the picture" Dean says nodding, walking back to Sam and Y/N. "We should go, let them get back to work" Y/N adds sarcastically. Ed flashes her a wink. "Yeah, you two should go." He says to Sam and Dean. "You could stay, gorgeous" He grins widely at Y/N.

Deans head snaps in his direction, his jaw clenching. A laugh bubbles in Y/N's throat, amused at the fact that Ed thinks he has a shot, "Never gonna happen" She laughs at his lame flirting walking out the door, the boys following behind her. Ed's eyes fall to her hips as we walks away, trailing down. As she walks out, she gets the sense that Ed was staring at her ass, which he was.

"Stop staring at my ass, Venkman!" She shouts, making Sam and Dean laugh. Deans genuinely relieved at the fact that she wasn't into Ed, not that she would be. But the sight of Ed flirting with her just amped up and fueled his jealously.

I need to get laid and get these thoughts out of my head. Dean thinks to himself.

Yeah, sure. Like that's gonna help.

________________________________

Sam and Y/N walk out of the Colin County Public Library, "Hey" They hail Dean. "Hey, what do you guys got?" He asks them. "Well, we couldn't find a Mordechai, but we did find a Martin Murdock who lived in that house in the 30s" Y/N explains. "He did have children's but only two of them. Both boys. And there's not record he every killed anyone" Sam adds.

"What about you?" She asks Dean. "Well, those kids didn't really give a clear description of that dead girl. I did hit up the police station. No matching missing persons. It's like she never existed" Dean tells them what he found. "Guys, come on. We did our digging. This one's a busy" He says to them.

Y/N sighs, agreeing. "For all we know, those Hellhound dorks made up the whole thing" She says. Sam sighs, "Yeah, alright." Dean says. "I say we find ourselves a bar and some beers and leave the legend for the locals" Dean suggest, giving Y/N a wink before jumping into the Impala. "Amen to that" She laughs, jumping in shotgun.

As they jump in, Sam has a devious smirk on his face. Dean then starts the car, Sam leans down to see their reactions and instantly salsa music starts blurring from the radio and the wipers on the windshield start moving, scaring the crap out of him and Y/N. "WOAH!" Dean yells turning off the wipers. "DAMMIT!" Y/N screams, quickly turning the radio off.

They hear Sam laughing as he jumps in the backseat. He licks his finger, putting up a one and pointing to himself with a smug look on his face and they glare at him. "That's all you got? It's weak" Dean scoffs as Sam laughs, closing the door. "That is bush league dude" Y/N adds as rolls her eyes.

________________________________

Y/N's POV

The next day, the boys and I find out that there was a dead girl found this time in the Murdock house. Police are currently taking pictures and reports of the incident as we're walking towards it. "What happened?" Dean asks a man who was at the scene. "Cops say that poor girl hung herself in the house" He tells us.

"Suicide?" I ask him shocked. "Yeah. And she was a straight A student with a full ride to UT too. It just don't make sense" He says sadly before walking away. "What do you guys think?" Sam asks us as they're wheeling the body out. Dean turns and looks at us, "I think maybe we missed something" He says.

Later that night, the three of us are crouched behind a bush, waiting for the police to leave so we can go investigate again. But they haven't left yet which is strange. "I guess the cops don't want anymore kids screwing around in there" Sam huffs. "Yeah, but we still gotta get in there" Dean says. I then hear some whisper not too far from us.

I turn my head to see Ed and Harry with their geek equipment, trudging through the woods. "I don't believe it" I groan, rolling my eyes. Sam and Dean turn their heads also. "Those idiots are gonna get themselves killed" Sam grumbles. "I got an idea" Dean says, getting up slowly, he cups his hand to his mouth and yells loudly.

"Who you gonna call?!" I bite back a laugh at his Ghostbusters reference. "Hey, you!" A police officer spots Ed and Harry. They panic when they see the officers, "Freeze!" The officer yell, running after them. They begin running away, their equipment partially slowing them down. "Get back here!" They yell at them.

"Come on, don't leave me here!" I hear Ed plead with Harry who's running quicker than him. They boys and I take the clearing to run into the house quickly through the backdoor without them noticing, we shut the door behind us. Sam drops the bag, taking out three rocksalt shotguns, handing one each to me and Dean.

We cock our guns as I shine my flashlight around the house. The light lands on the symbol and I try to remember where I've seen it. "Where have I seen that symbol before." I grumble as I point my flashlight to it. "I know right, it's killing me!" He exclaims. "Come on, we don't have much time" Sam says to us.

We nod and move towards the next room. Walking down into the basement, Dean goes up to a shelf that has a bunch of jars with a weird looking red liquid inside as Sam and I check out the other side. Picking it up, he smirks, "Hey guys, I dare each of you to take a swig of this" Dean says to us, we look at him like he's crazy. "What the hell would we do that for?" Sam cocks his eyebrow.

"I double dare you" He smiles, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I give him a blank stare and shake my head. We then hear creaking by a nearby cabinet, giving each other a look. Me and Dean cock our guns at the door as Sam moves next to it, on the count of three. He quickly opens it and some rats run out squealing.

I grimace as Sam laughs and Dean shudders in disgust, "Ugh. I hate rats" He groans. "You'd rather it was a ghost?" I ask him chuckling. "Yes" He says and I shake my head smiling. Then suddenly I feel the familiar chill run up the back of my neck and I turn my head quickly to see the shadow of a man in a cowboy hat, his wrists slit, holding an axe, ready to chop me.

"Fellas!" I scream, ducking before he can chop me and the boys spin around in an instant, shooting him but he doesn't budge. Disapparating into a black smoke "What the hell kind of spirit is immune to rocksalt?!" Sam yells. "I don't know" Me and Dean respond. "Come on, come on, come on" I grab them to run out of the room.

But the spirit destroyed the shelf of jars and it topples onto me and Dean, throwing us to the ground. The spirit tries to hit Sam but he breaks with his shot gun, "Go! Get out of here!" He yells at me and Dean. Then kicking Murdock in his stomach, we all run up the stairs and bolt for the front door that was board up.

We all crash our bodies through it, breaking it on impact, we fall off the porch and through the police tape. When we get up, we see Ed and Harry with their cameras, "Get that damn thing out of my face!" I yell at them angrily, shoving Ed roughly. "Go, go, go!" Sam shouts. "Get out of here!" Dean shouts at them warningly as we make a break for the Impala.

________________________________

After fleeing for our lives, we are back at the motel. The next morning after getting some rest, Dean is on his bed with his sketch pad, doodling, while Sam and I are at the table doing research. "What the hell is this symbol. It's bugging the hell out of me" Dean says frustrated. "This whole damn jobs bugging me" I agree with him, shaking my head, already fed up.

"Tell me about it, I thought the legend said that Mordechai only goes after chicks." He says. "It does" Sam says. Dean nods, twirling his pen in his finger. "Alright, I mean that explains why he went after you and Y/N. But why me?" Dean mutters, scratching his head. I snort a bit at his burn and Sam's eyes snap over to Dean, glaring at him.

"Hilarious" Sam deadpans. "The legend also says he hung himself. But did you guys see those slit wrists?" I ask them. "Yeah" Dean responds. "What's up with that? And the axe too" Sam points out. "Ghosts are usually pretty strict. Following the patterns over and over" I add as I scroll on the HellHounds website.

"But this mook keeps changing" Dean says. "Exactly" Sam sighs, handing me the book he was reading. I take it from him and hand him the laptop. He then begins scrolling on the website as he rubs his eyes from exhaustion. "Im telling you. The way the story goes...wait a minute" Sam goes to say but pauses, turning the laptop to me as he's found something.

"What?" Dean asks him from his bed. My eyes cork up as I quickly read the new post. "Someone added a new posting to the hellhound website" I tell Dean. "Listen to this: 'They say Mordechai Murdock was really a satanist who chopped up his victims with an axe before spitting his own wrists. Now he's imprisoned in a house for eternity" Sam reads the article out loud.

"Where the hell is this going?" I mutter. "I have no idea" Sam mutters back. "I don't know. But I think I might have just figured out where it all started" Dean says, pointing to his doodle of the symbol. He gives us a smug smile before getting up and grabbing his jacket.

________________________________

We all enter the record shop we were at earlier after Dean explained to us what he figured out. I gotta give it to him, he's smarter than he makes himself out to be. "Hey Craig, you remember us?" Dean calls out to Craig as we enter. From his body language alone I could tell he was annoyed. "Guys, look. I'm really not in the mood to answer any more of your questions, okay?" He says exasperated.

"Oh don't worry, hun. We're just here to buy an album, that's all" I tell him and he sighs relieved turning back. I give Dean a look and he smiles at me as I shuffle through the records and hand him the Blue Oyster Cult album. "You know, I couldn't figure out what that symbol was. And then I realized it doesn't mean anything" Dean says with a smug tone as we walk towards Craig.

"It's the logo for Blue Oyster Cult" Dean calls him out on his bullshit. Craig freezes, instantly giving himself away. "So tell me Craig, you into BOC or just scaring the hell out of people" I narrow my eyes at him and Dean hands him the album which he takes. "Now why don't you tell us about that house. Without lying through your ass this time" I say in a snarky tone.

I could see a smirk rise on Deans face at the corner of my eyes as Craig sighs heavily. Panicking. "Alright. I- My cousin Dana was on break from TCU. I guess we were just bored, looking for something to do. So I showed her this abandoned dump I found. We thought it would be funny if we made it look like it was haunted. So we painted symbols on the walls. Some from some albums. Some from some of Dana's theology textbooks." He begins to explains.

"Then we found out this guy, Murdock, used to live there. So we-" He pauses, taking a deep breath. "So we, made up some story to go along with that. So they told people who told other people. And then these two guys put it on their stupid website" He adds rolling his eyes as we listen intently. "Everything just...took on a life of its own. I mean. I thought it was funny at first, but...now that girls dead" He says, absolutely horrified.

I sympathize with him because he's a stupid kid that didn't know any better and was just looking for a kick. They don't know about what's out there but at the same time. It created a mess. "It was just a jokes. You know, I mean, none of it was real. We made the whole thing up. I swear" He stresses, tears forming in his eyes.

The boys and I nod understandably as he sniffles back his tears, "Alright. Thanks" I say to him calmly, offering him a small smile which he returns lightly. The boys and I turn to walk off, "If none of it was real, how the hell do you explain Mordechai?" Dean questions as he walk out. Me and Sam sigh, shrugging. Absolutely stumped.

________________________________

Later, me and Sam are at the motel room while he's taking a shower, I'm by the window smoking a cigarette, waiting for him to finish so I can shower. Dean walks in and throws his keys on the table, a mischievous look on his face. "Hey Princess" He smiles at me, closing the door behind him. "Hey charming..." I cock my eyebrow suspiciously as he pulls out a little familiar looking baggy.

His head pans over to me slowly, before bringing a finger to his lips, "Shhh" He shushes me with a smirk on his face. I shake my head as I take I drag from my cigarette, chuckling lightly. "Hey I'm back!" Dean announces his arrival to Sam as he rips the bag open. "Hey! Where were you?" Sam asks him from the shower.

"Oh I went out!" Dean responds as he throws the itching powder all over Sam's pants and boxers. "Seriously dude. Itching powder?" I grumble at him, dusting my ash into the ashtray. He just winks at me. "Game on, sweetheart" He whispers back, a smirk on his face, blowing me a kiss. I roll my eyes chuckling. "So me and Y/N may have a theory about what's going on!" Sam says from the shower.

"Oh yeah?" Dean questions, still throwing the powder on Sams clothes. ""Yeah, what if Mordechai is a Tulpa?" I suggest. "Tulpa?" Dean questions. Sam then opens the door, walking out from the shower as Dean quickly hides the powder in his powder. "Yeah, a Tibetan thought form" Sam says as he walks out of the shower, naked from the waist up, a towel around his waist.

Dean scratches his head, trying to mask his mischievous actions. I shake my head, holding back a snicker as I crush my cigarette in the tray. "Yeah, no, I know what a tulpa is...Hey, why don't you get dressed. Me and Y/N can go grab something to eat" Dean says quickly, pulling me by my hand before I can protest.

He grabs my leather jacket before giving Sam a cheeky smile, closing the door behind us. "He's gonna kill you" I snicker as he helps me put my jacket on, pulling my hair out from behind it. He smiles at me, flashing me a wink. "Wait till you see what I got in store for later" He brags, I just roll my eyes chuckling. "Boys" I scoff.

________________________________

Third Person POV

They're all now at a diner in town, "There you go, love" The kind man at the counter hands Y/N and Dean their trays of food. "Thank you" She says sweetly, taking her tray as Dean takes his. Y/N turns around as they're walking to a table to see Sam itching away at his pants. Y/N and Dean share a look of amusement as she bites back a snicker at this. "Dude, what's your problem?" Dean asks Sam feigning confusion.

"Nothing, I'm fine" Sam tries to brush it off, still itching. "Yeah?" Y/N asks him innocently. "Yeah" He assures them. "Alright? So uh, keep going. What about these tulpas?" Dean asks me as they take a seat at the table. Sam rests his bag down as he takes a seat. "Okay, so there was this incident in Tibet in 1915. A group of monks visualize a golem in their heads. They meditate on it so hard, they bring the thing to life" Y/N explains while she pops the lid off of her coffee and stirs it up, taking a sip.

"Out of thin air" Sam adds. "So?" Dean questions, taking a sip of his coffee. "That was 20 monks. Imagine what 10,000 web surfers could do" Sam says, pulling his laptop out of the bag. "I mean, Craig starts the story about Mordechai, then it spreads, goes online. Now there are countless people, all believing in the bastard." He says, typing on his laptop.

Sam cringes in discomfort, still scratching his legs. "Okay, wait wait wait. So you're trying to tell me that just because people believe in Mordechai, he's real?" Dean cocks his eyebrow. Y/N and Sam shrug. "I don't know, maybe?" Sam says, typing on his laptop, grimacing from the itching. She bites back a smirk as she eat her fries at his discomfort.

'I feel a bit bad for the kid but I'm not saying anything because I'm not trying to be pulled into this.' Y/N thinks to herself.

"People believe in Santa Claus. How come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?" Dean says sarcastically. "Because I'm pretty sure you're the first name on Santas naughty list" She shoots back with a cheeky smile. Dean glares at her a bit but a slight smirk rises on his lips.

"I'll show you who's on the naughty list" He whispers to her lowly in a husky tone so Sam wouldn't hear. But he damn well heard, rolling his eyes at their stomach churning flirting, he's too irritated by the itching in his pants to care. A blush rises on Y/N's face but she covers it up with a stunned look. She then raises her foot, kicking his shin below the table with her boot.

Dean huffs a "Ow" as she shoots him a warning look. Dean snickers at her reaction, pleased. "Don't test me, Winchester" She flirts back, matching his tone. Deans smirk grows wider. He seems pleased with her response, she takes notice of the way his chest heaves.

'The things I would do to this breathtaking women. Son of a bitch.'

Dean thinks to himself as he pulls his lower lip in between his teeth, causing her stomach to flutter, a familiar heat rising in her southern region.

'Fuck, what I would do just to get a taste of his lips. Oh god, not now. Seriously y/n? The dudes biting his lip and you're turnt on? Get a grip girl! Thirsty ass bitch.'

Y/N practically mentally reprimands herself for feeling so flustered by Dean.

'Hey God? It's Sam again. Please, I'm begging you. Just make these too lovesick puppies fuck already for Christ's sake.'

Sam internally groans.

Y/N's POV

"Here, look at this" Sams voice breaks us out of our heated gaze. "Hmm?" We both say innocently as Dean clears his throat, Sam then turns the laptop to us, showing us a picture of the symbol we found. "That's a Tibetan spirit sigil. On the wall of the house" Sam says. "Craig said they were painting symbols from a Theology textbook. We're thinking they painted this, not even knowing what it was" Sam explains to Dean, cringing from the itching again.

So I decide to take over. Dean bites back a smirk when he realizes the itching is getting worse. "What Sam's saying, That sigil has been used for centuries. Concentrating meditative thoughts like a magnifying glass. So people are on the Helldweebs website, staring at the symbol, thinking about Mordechai" I add as Dean nods. "I mean, we don't know, but it might be enough to bring a tulpa to life" I say, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"It would explain why it keeps changing" Dean agrees, taking a sip of his coffee as Sam continues to scratch his legs. "Right. As the legend changes, people think different things, so Mordechai himself changes. Like a game of Telephone. That would also explain why the rock salt didn't work" Sam says, pointing to the laptop with one hand, grimacing as he itches.

"Yeah, because he's not a traditional spirit, per se" Dean says. "Yeah" Sam huffs, cringing still itching. "Okay, so why didn't we just uhh... get this spirit signal thingy off the wall and the website?" Dean suggests and I shake my head as I wipe my mouth. "It's not that simple. You see, once tulpas are created, they take on a life of their own" I say. Dean sighs, wiping his nose.

"Great. Alright, so if he really is a Thought-form. How the hell are we supposed to kill an idea?" Dean asks a bit frustrated. "Well it's not gonna be easy with these guys helping us" Sam says, me and Dean roll our eyes at the thought. "Check out their home page" Sam turns the laptop and pulls up the helldorks page to the video they posted of Mordechai. "Holy shit" I gasp in shock as I look at the views.

"Yep. Since they posted the video, the number of hits have quadrupled in the last day alone" Sam stresses, nodding at my reaction. "Huh. I got an idea. Come on. You done?" Dean asks me quickly. "Yeah, I'm finished. Where are we going?" I tell him, gesturing to my empty tray as we pick up our coffees and Sam closes his laptop.

"We need to find a copy store" Dean tells us. Sam gets up, still itching his legs. Shakily putting his laptop into his bag. "Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or something" He groans. I can't hold in my amusement anymore so me and Dean begin laughing hysterically at this. "You two did this?" Sam asks us shocked. I shake my head and point at Dean with my thumb.

"It was all him" I snort as Dean continues walking away laughing. "You're a frigging jerk!" Sam shouts at Dean who's still laughing. "Oh yeah!" Dean retorts back chuckling.

________________________________

The boys and I pull up in the trailer park, near Ed and Harrys trailer. "Gosh, can they get anymore geeky" I cringe as I step out of the Impala. "You guys ready?" Dean asks us. "Like Freddy" Sam nods with a smirk. "Let's punk some dorks" I snort. I knock harshly on the door, I'm pretty sure I heard someone squeak. "Who is it?" Harry asks fearfully. The boys snicker at his reaction, "Come on out here guys. We hear you in there!" Dean bellows.

The two open the door and I snort when I see the shelf behind them. "Oh look at that. Action figures in their original packaging. What a shock" I say sarcastically as Dean snickers. I notice Ed biting his lips as he looks at me and I cringe. "Guys, we need to talk" Sam says. "Yeah, um, sorry guys. We're a bit busy right now" Ed says smoothly as they step out of their trailer.

Busy my ass. I roll my eyes, "Yeah, well, we'll make it quick. We need you to shut down your website" Dean says plainly with a fake smile which Ed finds funny for some reason. "Man, you know, these guys get us busted last night. We spend the night in a holding cell" Ed laughs while Harry looks annoyed. "I had to pee in that cell, in-front of people. And I get stage fright" Harry complains. "Why should we trust you?" Ed narrows his eyes at us.

"Look guys, we all know what we saw last night. What in that house. But now that's to your website, there are thousands of people hearing about Mordechai" Sam says. "That's right, which means people are gonna keep showing up at the Hell House, running into him in person. Somebody could get hurt" Dean warns them. "Yeah?" Ed smirks. "Ed, maybe they've got a point" Harry interjects.

"No" Ed shakes his head. "Nope" Harry suddenly says. Jesus, Harry's practically this dudes Yes Man. "Okay, we have an obligation to our fans, to the truth" Ed says cockily. I chuckle annoyed at this, "Well I have an obligation to kick both your asses right now-" I snap angrily, fearful looks taking over both their faces but Sam and Dean cut me off.

"Y/N/N, hey. Just forget it, alright?" Sam says calmly. "These guys. You could probably bitch slap them both" Dean adds, making the two idiots chuckle arrogantly. I narrow my eyes at them. "I could probably even tell them that thing about Mordechai..." Sam adds suggestively, Ed and Harry becomes a bit intrigued by this. "But....they're still not gonna help us" Sam sighs.

"Let's just go Princess" Dean says, giving me a knowing look. I get where they're getting at and nod. Putting the plan into action. "Yeah you two are right" I sigh and we begin walking off. The two following behind us like lost puppies. "Woah woah woah. Wait wait" "Hold on a second here" Harry and Ed stutter in unison.

"Yeah, what thing about Mordechai, you guys?" Harry asks us as we walk away, a slight smirk on my face. "Don't tell them, Sam" I say lowly, staying in character. "But if they agree to shut the website down, guys" Sam fake protests. "They're not gonna do it! You said so yourself" Dean denies as we continue walking, the two following behind us. "No, wait wait! Don't listen to them, okay? We'll do it" Ed finally agrees.

We all share a amused look before turning around to them. "It's a secret, Sam" Dean adds, fueling the act. Sam sighs, "Look, it's a pretty big deal, alright? And it wasn't easy to dig up" Sam says. "So only if we have your word you'll shut everything down" I add, pointing at them firmly. "Totally" Ed smirks at me, his eyes scanning me up and down. I cringe at this.

"And wipe that look off your face, not even an ocean could quench your thirst dude" I snap at him and he looks down guilty. "Yes ma'am" He salutes, causing me to roll my eyes. "Alright" Sam says, pulling a paper out of his pocket. "It's a death certificate from the 30s. We got it at the library" Sam begins to feed them the fake story as Dean hands them the paper we printed at the copy shop.

"Now according to the coroner, the actual cause of death was a self inflicted gunshot wound" Sam tells them as they look at the paper, then up at us. "That's right, he didn't hang or cut himself" Dean says. "He shit himself?" Ed asks us, shocked. "Yep. With a .45 pistol. To this day, they say he's terrified of them" I respond nodding.

"As a matter of face, they say if you shoot him with a .45, loaded with these special wrought iron rounds. You'd kill the son of a bitch" Dean adds. The two look at each other in glee. Harry then runs to the trailer. Presumably to post the story. "Thanks gorgeous" Ed winks at me. I scoff as he runs behind Harry. "Harry. Slow your roll, buddy. They're gonna know we're excited" He calls out to Harry lowly.

I notice Deans jaw clench whenever Ed flirts with me. "Dorks" I snort as we walk back to the Impala. "I think one of those dorks has a thing for you, sweetheart" Dean snickers, his jaw still clenching. I roll my eyes as Sam laughs at this. "Please, y/n/n's standards aren't THAT low" He snorts. I shove him lightly as Dean laughs. "I hate you two" I grumble chuckling, causing Sam to laugh more.

________________________________

Due to Deans never ending hunger, we're now again at a diner. Sam on my laptop searching the website, while I'm reading a book about tulpas. I'm next to Dean while Sam is on the opposite side of the booth. Dean, being the man child he is, is currently playing with a string machine that's next to up on the wall.

Where when you pull the string, a man plastic man with a fish in his hand, starts laughing. This has been going on for about five minutes and it's getting annoying. Sam pulls the string, stopping it while we both glare at Dean. "If you pull that string one more time, I'm gonna kill you" He deadpans. Dean stares at him blankly. I look back down at my book and pulls the string again, making it laugh.

My head snaps up so instantly raise my foot and kick him in the shin under the table with my boot. "Ow!" He exclaims, a smile on his face. Sam pulls the string to stop it, glaring at Dean who chuckles at the both of us. A cheeky smile on his face. "Come on, guys. You need more laughter in your lives. You know? You're way to tense" Dean chuckles as Sam sips his beer, annoyed.

"I'm fine, thank you" I grumble. "Yeah, sure you are" Dean snorts, making me glare at him.

"Did they post it yet?" I ask Sam, who then turns the laptop with the article to me and Dean, picking up his fork and stabbing his pancake. "We learned from reputable sources that Mordechai Murdock has a fatal fear of firearms." Dean reads off of the site as Sam nods.

"Alright. So how long do we wait?" I ask them as Sam chews his pancake. He shrugs, shutting the laptop. "Long enough for the new story to spread and the legend to change" Sam suggests, picking up his beer in a toasting manner, "I figure by nightfall, iron rounds would work on the sucker" He smirks, me and Dean pick up our beers and cheers with him. "Sweet" "Hallelujah" Me and Dean say in unison, picking up our beers and gulping them down.

When I go to rest it down I realize it's stuck to my hand, my face contorts to confusion until I see Sam with a smirk on his face, bursting into a fit of laughter, clapping because Dean couldn't put his down either. I clench my jaw in annoyance, "You didn't" Dean says. "Ohhh, I did" Sam laughs, holding up the super glue. I groan, "Dammit man, I didn't do you anything. Why did I get superglued!?" I exclaim. Sam laughs shaking his head

"You saw him throw that itching powder in my clothes and kept your trap shut, you're in this whether you like it or not crackhead" He smirks, sipping his beer. I narrow my eyes at him, "Oh, you're on dipshit" I challenge him, glaring at him. He laughs, pulling the string on the machine, as it blurs out it's annoying ass sound, laughing along with it as Dean and I try to get the bottles off our hands.

________________________________

After practically having to pry our hands off of the beer bottles Sam glued ours to. We stole that weird ass noise making machine that Dean loved playing with at the diner and turned it on outside in the woods for the cops to go looking for the noise, stalling a bit so we can run in, kill Mordechai and shag ass out of town.

The boys and I creep into the Hell House, shining our lights and aiming our guns around after bursting open the door. "I barely have an skin left on my palm" Dean complains. "Quit whining, you started this stupid prank war" I grumble back at him. "I ain't touching that line with a 10-foot pole" Sam retorts as we move into the other room. Scanning it, Dean then kicks the door to the basement down, we all file in carefully.

"Well, you think old Mordechai's home?" Dean asks us. I shrug. "I don't know" Sam responds. "Me either" A voice behind us says, scaring the tartar sauce out of me. We all quickly turn around, aiming our guns in the direction just for it to be those Hell Dorks with their stupid equipment on. "WOAH WOAH!" They both scream, putting their hands up in surrender.

We draw back our guns, "What the hell are you two dumbasses trying to do!? Are you trying to get yourselves killed!?" I yell at them angrily like a disappointed mother. "We're just trying to get a book and movie deal, okay?" Ed says shakily. Then suddenly the sounds of an axe sharpening comes from the door behind us and we all aim our guns at it

"Oh, crap" Harry mutters. "Uh, guys, you wanna...You wanna go open that door for us?" Ed asks us fearfully from behind us, gulping. "Why don't you?" Dean retorts, absolutely fed up. The door unlocking alone scares them and then, Mordechai comes bursting through the door yelling. The boys and I empty our clips into the bastard who screams in pain and disapparates into a black smoke.

Dean nods at us, giving us a look. We return the nod, "Sam, upstairs, I'll take the rooms, Y/N, stay with dumbledorks" Dean orders as they begin the check the rest of the room. "Oh, god. He's gone, he's gone" Ed gasps in shock. "Did you get him?" Harry asks him. "Yeah, they got him" Ed responds, still frightened. "No, on camera. Did you get him on camera?" Harry asks him shakily. Ed begins to fidget with the camera.

"Well, I...uh..." He tries to look but Harry grabs the camera. "Let me see it, let me see it" That's when Mordechai appears and knocks the camera out of Harry's hand. "Fuck!" I yell startled, ducking when he tries to chop me, disappearing into a black smoke again. They boys enter back the room, "Mordechais still kicking fellas" I inform them.. "Didnt you guys post that bullshit story we gave you?!" He bellows at Ed and Harry.

"Of course we did" Ed says. "Yeah but then our serves crashed" Harry adds and I roll my eyes annoyed. "So it didn't take?!" I ask him. "Uhhhh-" They stutter. "So these- These guns don't work?" Dean asks. "Yeah" Ed answers guiltily, I angrily toss my gun aside. "Great, just great" Dean mutters sarcastically.

"Fellas? Any ideas?" I ask them a bit panicked, they both give an 'I don't know' expression. "We are getting out of here" Harry says, rushing off but Ed is stuck in place. He runs back and grabs Ed. "Come on, Ed" He drags him out in a hurry. Then we hear Ed and Harry screaming. "Jesus, he's gonna kill them" I mutter, Sam goes to play hero.

Running in to save them. "Let's torch this sucker" Dean suggesst, "Yeah, fire always works" I agree nodding, we rush into the kitchen to get lighter fluid, dousing the ground it in. "Dean! Y/N!" We hear Sam yell. I grab an old can of bug spray and a lighter. "Hey!" I yell at Mordechai who has Sam up on the wall with his axe, choking him.

Igniting the lighter with the bug spray. "Go! Go!" I yell at Sam who breaks out of Mordechais hold. "Come on" I help him up, grabbing him to run over to Dean. "Look, if Mordechai can't leave the house and we can't kill him" I say quickly. "We improvise" Dean adds. He then lights the lighter and throws it where we doused the place in lighter fluid.

The whole room sets aflame. Sam looks baffled but we all run out of the house and into the bushes as the whole house sets on fire. "That's your solution? Burn the whole damn place to the ground?" Sam asks us. "Well no one will go in anymore" Dean defends "I mean, look. Mordechai can't haunt a house if there's no house to haunt" I say. "It's fast and dirty but it works" Dean adds. "What if the legend changes again and Mordechai is allowed to leave the house?" Sam says baffled.

I pause. Why the fuck did I not think of that? "Well, then we'll just have to come back" Dean shrugs. Sam looks at us in disbelief, breathing heavily, "Kind of makes you wonder, out of all the things we've hunted. How many of those things existed just because people believed in them" Sam wonders out loud and I can't help but agree with him as we watch the house burn.

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The next evening, the boys and I are hanging out on a picnic table at the trailer park as Ed and Harry walk out towards their car that's attached to their trailer, holding grocery bags. "I was thinking that Mordechai had a really super high attack bonus" Ed says to Harry. "Dude, I got the munchies right now" Harry snickers.

"Gentleman and gorgeous" Ed greets us, a wide smile on his face. "Hey guys" Sam responds back. "Should we tell them?" Harry asks Ed. "Eh, might as well. They're gonna read about it in the trades" Ed says boastfully. Me and Sam share an amused look as they begin to brag. "So, this morning we got a phone call from some important Hollywood producers" Harry brags as we follow behind them.

"Oh yeah, wrong number?" Dean retorts with a snort. "No smartass" Ed glares at him. "He read all about the Hell House on our website and what a to option the motion picture rights. Maybe even have us write it" He says boastfully as he puts the bags in their car. "And create the RPG" Harry adds.

"The what?" Dean cocks his eyebrow in confusion as me and Sam bite back laughs. "Role playing game" Ed says as if it's obvious. "Right" Dean says, still confused. "Just a little lingo for you. Anywho, excuse us, we're off to La-La Land" Ed smirks, his eyes panning over to me.

"Well, congratulations guys. That sounds really great" Sam says sarcastically. "Yeah, that's awesome. Best of luck" Dean adds, snickering. A smug look takes over Eds face. "Oh yeah, luck. It's got nothing to do with it. It's about talent. You know, sheer, unabashed talent" He says as Harry nods proudly.

Ed then bites his lip and I roll my eyes, bracing myself. "You're welcome to jo-" He goes to flirt again. "I'd rather eat my own filth, Venkman" I snap back, narrowing my eyes at him. He shrugs nonchalantly, "Your loss, gorgeous. Later" He winks at me before giving us a peace sign, jumping into their car. Cocky bastard.

I scoff at this, not feeling bad whatsoever for setting them up. We watch as they drive off. The boys and I share an amused look as Dean mutters "Wow", while we walk back to the car. "We have a confession to make" Sam breaks, holding back his laugh. "What's that?" dean asks us, looking down smiling.

"We uh- we're the ones that called them and told them we were producers" I admit. Me and Sam chuckle as Dean looks at us shocked. Turning back to look at their car, bursting into hysterics. "Well, I'm the one who out the dead fish in their back seat" Dean confesses. I laugh loudly along with the boys. "I knew I smelt something!" I laugh as Dean grins proudly.

"Truce?" Sam ask Dean. "Yeah, truce. At least for the next hundred miles." Dean says, getting into the Impala along with Sam. "Don't worry, Princess. We won't drag you into it this time" Dean assured me, starting the car as I'm still outside. Too late for that, darling. I take a step back from the car and then BOOM!

The second the ignition starts, flour explodes inside of the Impala. Coating them all over, inside of Baby. They both cough, glaring at each other angrily. "You said truce!" Dean growls at Sam. "I didn't do this!" Sam exclaims. Their gazes snap over to me as I laugh hysterically, bending over, clutching my stomach. I pull out the flour bag from my jacket and wave it in the air victoriously.

"You didn't!" Sam exclaims. "Ohhh, I did" I mock his words from earlier when he stuck our hands to the beer bottles. Jumping in the back seat, “Victory is mine!” I claim proudly, grinning at them. "This is gonna take me forever to clean dude!" Dean groans in annoyance. "Maybe next time don't drag me into it" I shrug innocently, smirking as the boys glare at me.

This makes me laugh even more. “Awwww, turn those frowns upside down fellas. At least for the next 100 miles at least" I tease them, leaning over to fix Deans frown with my fingers. I notice he holds back a laugh, Sam shakes his head in amusement.

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Authors Note: Hiiiii, sorry this one took be a bit longer. I went on a trip recently so I’ve been pretty busy but I hope you guys enjoyed this one. This chapter is unedited but I do plan on coming back and editing it so just ignore any mistakes. Just a little insider, Y/N’s flour prank was symbolic to Sam’s cookie prank when they were 13. Let’s just say, she’s still salty about that one LOL. Make sure to leave your honest comments and thoughts, I look forward to them, love y’all😘

Xoxo

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