#fkn gale

[vixstarria]

"Where my nice, simple plan fell apart"

This is my take on how Astarion’s romance might have progressed with a silly, chaotic energy bard Tav, who doesn’t really fall for his initial manipulation but rather humours it, throughout Act 1.  

There will be more – I want to flesh this out and write more ‘behind the scenes’ moments, and continue this into Acts 2 and 3 (I’m still only at the beginning of Act 2 as I write this!) 

Astarion x Reader, Astarion x Tav, Astarion x Bard Tav  

Comfort, fluff, budding love, cuddling, humour, no spoilers, non-explicit, light angst 

Approximately 2,000 words. 

~~~~~

“Let’s find our own little piece of nowhere. Somewhere we can lose ourselves and forget all this madness.” 

“Astarion, you insufferable trollop, what piece of cheap pulp did you fish that line from?!” you squeezed your eyes shut, pinching the bridge of your nose. “No, wait, let me guess... Madame Scarlett?” 

You watched his face turn from indignation to irritation, to finally settle in a resigned amusement, in a rapid succession.  

“My, a fellow connoisseur of the vulgar arts? The Madame’s been dead and out of print for over a century. But yes.” 

“A professional interest – a bard must be able to entertain all kinds of audiences, with all kinds of material” 

“And would you indulge me with your expertise tonight? But I do much prefer show to tell...”.  

This was the beginning. You did end up sleeping with him that night, despite his initial soppy attempt at seduction. And then it happened again another night. And then it kept happening... 

You tried to be discreet about it at first, but of course it wasn’t long before the other members of your party noticed your nightly disappearances, and there was no point trying to conceal it.  

You were vexed by their reactions – just about everyone found it necessary to at one point pull you aside and express their concerns about the vampire, asking you to be careful. This was, perhaps, justifiable – Astarion was admittedly quite stab-happy and had an inclination for bloodthirst (literally and figuratively). But he was on your side! And damned if you needed anyone’s approval for your choices in whom to bed! 

By that point you and Astarion had turned the cliched language of poorly written erotica novels into an inside joke. Casually addressing each other in increasingly mawkish and over-elaborate terms had turned into a game. Once the secret of your escapades was out, you weaponised this game, turning it to deliberately exasperate everyone around you with your antics. 

With your shared penchant for dramatic flair the two of you became utterly insufferable.  

You would shout corny names at each other across camp: 

“Oh precious, it’s your turn to set up the campfire! And no, I don’t care that you won’t be eating with us” you called out as the group stopped for the day to set up camp, but no answer followed. “My silver lynx..? Starry?? Snickerdoodle??” 

“Your snickerdoodle wandered off to slaughter another bear!” came an exasperated shout from Wyll. 

Strangers weren’t safe from your hijinks either:  

“My sun, my beating heart, flame of my loins, ache of my head. All my riches, at your feet”, he declaimed to you in front of a confused and embarrassed vendor, as he rummaged through and shook out his pockets and sleeves, spilling an assortment of semi-precious gems, silver cutlery and somehow even an entire silver tray, pilfered from an abandoned manor you came across earlier. 

Just to make the others uncomfortable, you would unceremoniously plop into Astarion’s lap at any given opportunity, including in your morning meetings to establish your itinerary for the day.  

One evening, as you all sat around the campfire to enjoy a shared meal, Astarion (who would ordinarily stay away during this time, or sit nearby with a book) sank down next to you, lifted your hand towards his mouth, and nonchalantly sank his fangs into your wrist and began to suck, slurping.  

“Oh, so I can’t enjoy a nice meal with everyone else, and have to be excluded? Bigots, the lot of you!” he chided, your blood dripping from his lips, to the sound of everyone’s shouts of shocked revulsion. Surprisingly, this was the closest you’d ever seen Lae’zel come to laughing.  

(You and Astarion had arranged this prior, of course. Ever the gentleman, he always asked before he bit.) 

Another night, as you were having a quiet chat with Shadowheart at her tent, while everyone else lounged at the fire, she asked: “So what is it like with him, really..? How is he?” 

Suddenly finding yourself abashed by this genuinely intimate question, you covered it up with pomp and bravado. Winking at Shadowheart, you stood up, threw your head back and began to orate, making sure your thundering voice would be heard by the fire, which you had been separated from by a distance and some bushes: 

“HIS MAGESTIC MANHOOD, WHEN UNSHEATHED, IS AN OBELISC OF MASCULINITY AND GLORY. IT IS A WONDER BIRDS DON’T CRASH INTO IT WHEN IT IS FULLY E- Ow! Who threw that?!” 

A projectile salami from your camp supplies came flying from behind the bushes, and slammed into the side of your face.  

All hell was breaking loose back at the campfire, as Wyll, Gale and a smug Astarion convulsed and shouted through poorly concealed laughter, blaming each other for the missile, as Karlach shook in hysterics and Lae’zel complimented the mystery thrower’s accuracy.  

Gale did look more sheepish than the rest once you started to develop a black eye from the impact, promptly healed by Shadowheart.  

What was it like with him? 

Despite the flowery epithets and exaggerated displays of affection you awarded each other in public, in private you had a mutual understanding that it was all frivolous, no strings play. You had a parasite that could turn you into a mind flayer at any given moment, twisting in your brain. Every day bore violent encounters. Since the nautiloid crash, you hadn’t gone a single day without something trying to murder you. You didn’t want to have to worry about anything other than survival, and you took life day by day. Distractions were welcome, but actual romantic attachment would be a burden, you told yourself. 

You thought of it as being friends with extended benefits.  

You let him feed (well, snack, really) on you, of course. It wasn’t sexual, not since the first night. He used your wrist, so as not to be overwhelmed by the blood flow. He ended the sessions by healing you himself, assisted by a magical trinket he’d picked up somewhere on your journey. You made sure not to let Gale get his hands on that one.  

In battles his arrows always picked off foes in your immediate vicinity, before they were directed to other targets. You’ve yelled at him for this, saying you were more than capable of holding your own, whilst you’d lost count of the revivify scrolls you’ve spent on Gale.  

“Yes, well, the way the man goes on about his ‘natural talents’ and ‘mastery of the weave’, you’d think he’d put that big wise brain of his to developing a strategy for not getting stabbed so often” - Astarion rolled his eyes. “I’m just encouraging him to improve, really. And besides”, his eyes narrowed, “only I’m allowed to spill your blood, darling”. You frowned at that last bit, as he flashed you a sweet and almost innocent smile, and stalked off.   

As for the other ‘benefits’ - the sex was intricate, if somewhat mechanic, almost too skillful on his behalf. Wanting more passion than efficiency, you eventually asked him to talk dirty to you. That made it nearly too intense for you to handle, and seemed to keep him more... personally engaged. During daytime you had to force yourself not to get caught up in flashbacks of his red eyes watching you writhe as he described what he was doing to you, what he was going to do to you, or how you looked while he worked your body. 

The night that you, wanting to reciprocate, asked him exactly how he wanted to be pleasured and what he liked was a fiasco. You didn’t understand why. First he said something about being able to please you being his greatest reward and satisfaction (which you immediately shut down). Then he grew flustered and irritated, becoming uncharacteristically at a loss for words. You tried to divert the conversation, but the mood was unsalvageably ruined.  

There was one takeaway from that debacle, however. After abandoning the idea of sex for the night, you laid next to each other, talking about nothing in particular: Baldur’s Gate, places you were both familiar with, comforts you were looking forward to having again. At one point he looked at his jacket, which you’d been lying on, and lamented that he couldn’t find any gold thread to fix the embroidery. You laughed and rolled over to give him a hug, and simply never let go. He wordlessly pulled you closer once it was clear you had no intention of leaving. That was the first time that you fell asleep and slept through the night in his arms. 

This became somewhat of a ritual, or another game with unspoken rules. Once you were done with each other, you’d pretend to quickly fall asleep with your face nested in the crook of his neck, or to otherwise be too exhausted to get up and make way to your own tent or bedroll. He pretended not to notice the regularity with which this was happening. You pretended not to notice the soft kisses he started leaving on your neck or forehead once he thought you were really asleep. It seemed... important, somehow, that you both pointedly refused to acknowledge any of it. You sensed that otherwise a certain line would be crossed. 

Last night, you were too exhausted to even think of anything but sleep by the time everyone started turning in for the night. Yet rest wasn’t even on the horizon for you – you remembered that you’d neglected to clean your weapons and carry out the well overdue maintenance on your equipment, which you did not allow anyone else to touch even when offered. You were planning to venture into the shadow-cursed lands the following day. You couldn’t afford to be sloppy. You begrudgingly set about your tasks. Astarion was as tired as everyone else, you figured it was needless to say you’d spend the night apart. And yet...  

“I guess I finally get my bedroll all to myself tonight, how delightful” you heard behind you. “No one to wrap themselves around me, no one nuzzling into my neck... Only free, undisturbed personal space” You heard a hint of dejection beneath the sarcasm, and something in your stomach flipped, giving you pause.  

“I’ll come back for a cuddle if you say please” you murmured over your shoulder. 

“Never!” he rasped in a perfect imitation of Lae’zel when you asked the same of her before freeing her from a tiefling cage, and disappeared into his tent. 

Over an hour later, as you collapsed into your own bedroll, you saw a pair of red eyes staring at you from across the camp, tent flap ajar. You held Astarion’s gaze.  

“Please”, he mouthed soundlessly, smiling as he lifted the edge of his blanket.  

Within moments, you slipped into his embrace, pressing your lips against his. But his kisses were gentle and feather light, lacking the usual persistent neediness.  

You pulled away from him, locking eyes as he softly ran his hand down your cheek, brushing your lower lip with his thumb. 

“Gods, you’re beautiful” he breathed. 

That night he fell asleep with his head against your chest, listening to the sound of your heartbeat.  

Your breath caught in a silent sob as you were overwhelmed by a bittersweet realization of how much you really stood to lose if you failed in the journey still ahead of you. You didn’t think you’d ever felt happier or more miserable before in your life, as you hugged him tighter. 

~~~~~

Next in series

AO3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #bg3 fanfic #astarion fanfic #fkn Gale #why is it always Gale

[possumteeths]

Not to sound insane but Gale bg3 is p similar to Cullen dragon age.

groomed from a young age into religious indoctrination

naivety abused by an older woman figure who they’re painfully disgustingly devoted to

Sort of a golden boy, well known for being ~the best~ child prodigy

Has a complicated relationship with ex abuser, still loves them and feels personally responsible for something that was out of their control

Feels that they couldve done better when said abuser p much willingly set them up to fail

Had an incident with too much magic, now said magic is killing them. Theyre both magic addicts

Desperately wants to redeem themselves, hoping to be some kinda martyr but then catches feelings and then has to rethink to their previous resolve to DIE

Tower (I say as a joke)

charming outwardly, self depreciating humor, polite, definitely finds their own jokes oh so funny

fancy hair, stubble

Soggy wet pathetic so used to mistreatment that they’d fall in love with a leaf if it smiled at them

#if cullen could fuck andraste or whatever he would #case in POINT #dai #bg3 #dragon age #gale dekarios #cullen rutherford #Gale would fkn hate cullen tho lmao #and cullen would be sus of the magic bomb for sure

[littlestarbigfangs]

gale rolled a nat 1 on the perception check on tara..... he straight up didn't recognize her

#im sorry but that is so fkn funny #u stupid man #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3

[alistairsgf]

idk how ppl be worshiping the ground voice actors walk on i just watched a tiktok of some comedy show clip and alistairs va popped up and i had to close the app the second he uttered a syllable and do a lap around the house the feeling of watching them is the exact same as intense second hand embarrassment

#THE SAME EXACT THING W GALE LAST WEEK he showed up in some fkn channel4 show and i went EUGH 😟and shut the tab.like i cant do it

[fetabathwater]

fr fr gonna be so heartbroken at the end of act 2 if SH rejects my tav again. she doesnt even know it. do these flowers mean NOTHIGN to you???? <- said while sobbing broken.y

#* #IM SORRY THAT THE LEECH BIT AND FUCKED. #AND TEHRE WAS A WEAVE THING W GALE #AND W/E #BUT GIRL. WE'RE RIDE OR DIE. #LITERALY. ONLY TWO BEST GIRLFRIENDS STANDING. #nah but rfr its litearlly so funny how the romance is working #like bosom companbions and im like. withers. no??? #thought about just fkn in general so that the uh. half orc in moonrise didnt quetion #and was like OH UR JUST R>LY HORNY. #yeah bc my other choies were gale or astarion and i havent chose flirt options for those idiots in DAYS #anyway i think the funniest part is ognna be sliding into halsin's tent and getting hit with some poly dialogue #and then being like. WHOMST. I THE ROMANCE??? #bg3 spoilers #TECHNICALLY

[dirtybg3confessions]

i want to 69 gale so fkn bad. like, i want to ride his face and make him eat me out till i see stars while i give him the sloppiest bj and suck the soul out of him.

#Dirty Confession #Baldurs Gate #BG3 #BG3 Gale #Gale of Waterdeep

[assaahashi]

My only explanation on why is Wyll so fkn DOWN for Astarion

If Gale is a bookworm, then Wyll is a romantic novel girlie :D

#“it's just his vampiric charms” #mhm we believe you sweetheart #drawing Wyll as a little house husband makes me happy #bg3 #wyllstarion #astarion #wyll ravengard #bg3 wyll #bloodblade #wyll x astarion #astarion ancunin #bloodpact #wyll

[sayojin]

heres a recent comm i was really happy with!

vvv

this request made me realize that i havent drawn gale in two whole months 😱 which is insane to me, i wanna go back to drawin bloodweave, i just need good ideas to spawn in my void of a brain. ive had artblock for several weeks now so getting comms and request has been a huge help for me.

and man, drawin flowers is always a fkn blast, im so glad they ordered this with flowers 😌

#digital art #fanart #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fanart #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #art commisions #commisions open #oc x canon #not my oc

[gins-potter]

Character asks: 7, 8, 12, 25, 26 for the lovely breadboy Peeta! 🥖🥖

BREAD BOY!

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I fkn love when they talk about how smart he is, talk about his strategies for winning the games, for survival, how good he is with the media and the capitol people to make them love him and katniss. i just fkn love a good meta about smart that boy is.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

this is more of a twitter thing i've noticed, but it does annoy me when people, usually in convos shit-talking gale, act like peeta was this perfectly angelic cherub who just simped for katniss 24/7.

was he a great, kind, understanding, patient love interest majority of the time and ultimately the best choice for katniss? yes, of course he was. but he still had his moments where he was jealous and bitter and acted cold towards her, especially at the end of thg and starting of catching fire when katniss didn't return his feelings.

and those moments were normal of course, he's a fkn teenage boy. but this idea that he was perfect and never had his bad moments is a disservice to how well-rounded his character is, and particularly fucks me off when it's done to make gale look shit.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

hmmm i don't write a lot of thg fic (none in fact) so idk that i actually have that many peeta headcanons. hmmm, maybe that peeta is the one who eventually tells their kids about the hunger games and their role in the rebellion. despite what katniss says in the epilogue, i can't get past the idea that she would just not want to talk about it. but even though it's painful, i think peeta would be the one to initiate that conversation with their kids.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

ooof don't hate me but i wasn't that fussed on peeta at first. i was sort of like..... alright, i guess. at least that's how i remember it lol. i think i was just more interested in katniss leading a rebellion and probably a bit disappointed that we didn't get a childhood friends to lovers arc because that's my jam.

but now? now? oh he is my man, i love that boy. the older i get the more i appreciate and love his character.

26. I think you were supposed to ask me a random question here lmao?

#answered #jess reads #thg #peeta mellark #the hunger games

[sorcerous-caress]

thoughts on the raphael bg3 fight? imo, best boss fight. his boss music is fkn sick and it is so satisfying to get the helldusk armor at the end

He is IMMUNE TO FIRE AND MY SORCERER REPLACED ALL THEIR SPELLS WITH FIRE ONES.

I was as useless as a wet tissue, I've put all my eggs in one basket and Raphael crushed them all.

All i did was spam twin haste spell and invulnerability sphere. My sorcerer who carried 90% of all fights just standing there useless.

I didn't have Gale, i told myself why would I need to bring a wizard when I'm clearly the superior magic choice? Ha, hA, HA.

yurgir was on my side, thankfully, and he carried massively. Shadowheart turned into a battle medic to get those towers down since she could do radiance damage.

Astarion was the local punching bag, i don't know why everyone and their grandma focused on him but they did and he kept missing all of his attacks.

Halsin was there, Halsin was not useful <3 Halsin did jack shit all.

And the fucking 666 hp my god.

Every single boss fight before this was a cake walk, i genuinely cheesed them all even the Cazador fight barely phased me. And i never used the cliffs to kill them I fought them with dignity.

Raphael took an entire hour if not more, because I was just trying to fathom how I'm supposed to kill him with nothing and my spells were running out fast.

Eventually, I did it. Somehow, I did it. Loved the music ngl. I wanted to keep Hope's sister alive but i Yurgir kept killing her and i got fed up.

I didn't even end up using the armour tbh.

#♡Raphael

[vixstarria]

Something real

I thought I’d play around with an Astarion POV and this is what happened.  

Connected with my other headcanon fics, would take place after this one, but before the end of this one. You don’t have to read them for this to make sense though. (But you totally should!) 

Astarion x Reader, Astarion x Tav, Astarion x Bard Tav, soft Astarion, Astarion POV

Comfort, fluff, budding love, banter, humour, Act 1 spoilers, non-explicit, light angst, probably too much swearing 

Approximately 2,000 words. 

You were lying alone by the fire, waiting for her to join you, trying once again to untangle the mess this woman made in your head. 

What exactly were you, to each other? 

Were you just temporary travelling companions having meaningless sex for stress relief?  

Or were you lovers in the more literal sense of that word? 

And is that what you wanted..? To be someone’s, whom you could call your own? To have something real..?  

It should have been simple, except the lines kept shifting and blurring. And needless to say, this wasn’t at all what you had initially intended.  

All you knew was, this deliciously ambiguous time at the end of your evenings, when you just talked – this was your favourite time of day.  

You were restless with anticipation, now that everyone else had finally gone to sleep or was shuffling around in their tents. 

Except she was nowhere to be seen.  

You could always slip into her tent, she might even have been waiting for you there now – but then you'd most likely wind up putting on the ‘seductive lusty lover’ mask, and as fun as that was, it’s not what you wanted right now.  

You were getting impatient. 

You wondered just how undignified and out of character it would be to simply go to her tent and lure her out on some pretense, like the stars being particularly bright, or some similar horseshit. You glanced at the sky. The stars weren’t even visible.  

Fuck. ...Well, she’d just laugh at that anyway.  

But lo and behold, there she was at last, plundered bottle of wine in hand. You bit your tongue to avoid addressing her with any of your habitual epithets, for which she’d rebuked you on numerous occasions, but she went ahead and did it for you herself anyway:  

“Here I am! The wind beneath your wings, the rose among your thorns! The fire in your furnace, the... uh... help me out here, will you?” 

“The biting canines in my buttock.” 

“There we go! A touch predictable, but no less eloquent for it.” 

She sat down, right next to your head, stretching her legs out towards the fire, and gave you a searching and expectant look, not saying anything. 

You raised a quizzical eyebrow back at her. 

“Well come on, scooch up,” she said with a playful smile on her lips. 

You lifted slightly on your elbows and laid your head in her lap.  

This is new. 

“Can I offer you something to drink?” she asked, waving a wrist, and then the wine in the other hand suggestively at you.  

“Not tonight, dear,” you chuckled. “I had quite a successful boar hunt while the rest of you were playing hero in the foothills.” 

“Suit yourself.” She took a drink straight from the bottle and stared off into the fire, her other hand absentmindedly running through your hair. You resisted the urge to lean further into her touch.  

“What’s on your mind?” you asked after the silence went on a touch too long. 

“I would like you to explain something to me.” she said quietly.  

You instinctively tensed, your mind racing, wondering what you could have possibly done or let slip. 

“...Why in the fuck do you lot listen to and take directions from me? Do none of you realize I’m just a shit-talking clown and have no idea what I’m doing?” the tone of her voice was flat.  

...Ah. That. 

“This ‘clown’ led us unscathed through a subversive operation in a goblin camp. Mostly via shit-talking. You even convinced one of them to lick your boot!” you shook your head incredulously. “Give yourself credit where it’s due. Do you think anyone else here could have pulled that off?” 

I probably could have. Wouldn’t. But could have.  

She took a swig from the bottle, considering your question. “Well you definitely could have done the same. You’d just choose not to. ...why are you laughing?” 

“Never mind that. Would you like me to take over for you, darling?” 

“Good heavens, no!” she grimaced in mock horror. “Just stay at my side, as my moral compass.” 

“Your moral compass?” 

“When in doubt, I ask myself ‘What would Astarion do?’, and do the opposite. Usually that’s good enough to keep everyone happy and keep bloodshed to a minimum.” 

You’re not wrong.  

“But gods it’s been exhausting...” she was sombre again. “They all want something, and they all think their problem is the most urgent. ‘We must go to the creche – no, we must go to Moonrise – no, but my heart will explode – no, but I and everything around me will explode’” she was getting riled up, gesticulating with the bottle in her hand. You were worried it would fly out of her grip. She paused to collect herself.  

“At least your demands are too insane to entertain in the first place,” she continued with a weary grin. “‘Embrace the tadpole, take over a cult, fight squirrels, commit genocide’” - she did her best to mimic your manner of speaking, then rolled her eyes and took another swig from the bottle.  

“Never know where a little thinking outside the box might lead you, dear.” I just want my freedom, whatever it takes. ...And that squirrel was looking at you funny. “And you? What do you want?” 

“A hot bath, new lute strings, and a cat to cuddle,” she answered without hesitation.  

You couldn’t think of anything better than to emit a very convincing meow.  

It must have taken her by surprise - she glanced down at you, eyes wide, before bursting out laughing and scratching you behind the ear.  

You hated to admit it, but you were very pleased with yourself, making her laugh like that.  

“My pointy-eared feline predator,” she murmured, looking into your eyes and smiling, as she slowly and delicately ran her finger along the edge of your ear, right to the tip, which felt... divine, actually.  

This... this was too intimate for someone you just had meaningless sex with, right? 

You heard some rustling and footsteps nearby, too casual to be an intruder, probably just someone walking off to relieve themselves.  

She jerked her hand away from you, like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, and actually made a motion as if to get up, before you stopped her with a gentle hand on her wrist, still lying with your head in her lap. 

“Hey... Hold on... Now you explain something to me. Earlier today, you burst into camp covered in hyena entrails, yelled ‘My star!’, threw yourself on me, legs and arms and all, like some deranged monkey, and made me spin you around, kissing you. ...But this is what embarrasses you?”  

“That was putting on a silly act,” she said sheepishly. “And this is...” she faltered, looking for the right words. 

Real..? 

“Not intended for anyone else’s eyes.” 

Real. 

"Well everyone can direct their eyes elsewhere, then,” you responded, unable to contain a smile.  

It’s real.  

...Ahah!  

“Oh, and you’re absolutely adorable, by the way,” you added. 

She flicked you lightly on the nose and looked away. Was she blushing? 

“Anyway. It’s Gale that worries me the most.” 

Fucking Gale. 

“He said the last artifact he consumed hardly did anything. He doesn’t know how much longer he can contain it. He’s inconsolable.” she continued.  

“Perhaps we should all stop worrying and embrace the orb explosion. At least that will mean we won’t have to deal with anything else, ever.” you suggested. This was helpful, right?  

“I wish I could do something to help, or at least get his mind off it for a while.” 

Of course you do, you bleeding heart. 

“And how might you ‘get his mind off it’, exactly?” 

“I think we should seduce him,” she looked you straight in the eyes and said in a deadpan manner.  

Oh, sliding off a serious topic straight back into fuckery with a straight face, are we? I know that game very well.  

“Darling, even without the orb, he would literally explode if you held eye contact with him a second too long. He’s been pining for you since you pulled him out of that rock.” You waved a dismissive hand in Gale’s general direction. “The kindest thing you can do for him is give all your undivided attention to me, so he never has a glimmer of hope.” 

Bloody Gale with his manicured beard, puppydog eyes and cooking skills... 

“Well, while we’re on the topic, I still think we should seduce someone, to spice camp life up a bit. How about Lae’zel?” she continued.

“Lae’zel would skewer both of us if we approached her.” 

...and his warm hands... 

“Shadowheart?” 

“...You know, I’m pretty sure Lae’zel would skewer us for that, too. Perhaps all three of us, on the same blade.” 

...and his ability to find kind and empathetic words in any situation. ...Shame about the orb though. 

“What about...” she grinned, “daddy Halsin?” 

You exchanged a meaningful look. 

Ha! Well there’s a curious thought. I wonder if he could contain himself, or if he would turn into a bear. How... dangerous. 

“Let’s revisit that thought later.” you said pensively.  

“Karlach is impossible, of course...” she continued. “That leaves Wyll.” 

“Oh please,” you chortled. “Even if he wasn’t depressed over the whole... demonic horns and abducted parent conundrum. He strikes me as the ‘wait until marriage’ type. And he’d want to do the seducing himself.” 

“I’m not so sure about the marriage part. He would keep it proper and gentlemanly though.” she thoughtfully tapped her lower lip with a finger. “Multiple extravagant dates to impress his sweetheart before making any moves, the whole shabang. You wouldn’t want him to try to sweep you off your feet?” 

“Just me? No no, we are in this together.” you remarked. “And he could certainly afford to woo us both at once, being the son of a duke.” 

“Weeks of wining and dining us, waiting for the fires of ‘true love’ to fully ignite...” she said contemplatively, gazing into the fire. 

“Smothering us with red roses, romantic moonlit carriage rides and ballroom dancing...” you copied her tone. 

“Until finally railing you on a grand piano one day, while I whipped him with a switch,” she said with a devilish grin. 

“You absolute uncouth filth!” it was your turn to be taken off-guard as you shook with laughter.  

You incredible, ridiculous, mad thing... I would spend another year locked alone and hungry in a tomb, if it meant keeping you alive and safe. 

Something in your chest twisted. 

Did I really just think that? 

Yes, yes I did.  

You needed to stop and consider what just came into your head. And give yourself a good slap in the face. But for now, more than anything, you desperately needed to switch your brain off.  

You sat up and kissed her, pulling her into an embrace. 

“You crazy idiot, what am I going to do with you?” you whispered, briefly touching your forehead to hers. 

“Something nasty, I hope,” she answered with a cheeky smile. But there was more warmth than lust in her eyes. 

“My tent or yours?” you asked softly, trailing a finger down a bare arm. 

“Do you have vials of boar blood everywhere?” 

“Yes. Do you have everything you’ve collected, ever, everywhere?” 

“...Yes.” 

Hoarder. I would give you a whole palace to decorate, just to see what you would do with it.  

Sigh... “I guess I could accommodate you for a short while.” 

Please stay all night.  

On a sudden whim, you swept her up in your arms as you got up, carrying her to your tent.  

What in the hells was I thinking?  

“Oh!” she gasped, surprised. “My... I don’t suppose you’ve got a grand piano in there?” 

“We’ll have to make do with my trunk, I’m afraid.” 

“And they say romance is dead.” 

None of this was going according to plan.  

Fuck the plan.  

You felt like a cretin and a fraud as you carried her off. But you’d make it right. She deserved something better. Something real.  

And so did you, godsdamnit.  

I’ll tell her... Just not today. 

~~~~~

Next in series - Are you mine?

This work is part of a series - here is the master list

AO3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #bg3 fanfic #astarion fanfic #fkn Gale

[blackjackkent]

Quick look at the documents in the front room of the House of Grief before we go deeper.

The "Security Guidelines" sitting on the front desk confirm what we already knew: that this is an incredibly hostile workplace environment.

Also unsurprisingly, the House of Grief is not actually the Sharran facility per se, but sits on top of it and acts as a facade to prevent curious interlopers.

The "Chamber of Loss" sounds... concerning.

There's another document behind the table, labeled "Client List":

"Referred for Unburdening" feels like it's got to be a euphemism for something unpleasant; my working theory is it's probably the same memory wipe that Shadowheart underwent.

The Marco Creenn fellow seemed to me like he had to be an easter egg, and I was right! Apparently it's a reference to a character in Divinity: Original Sin 2, who has the ability to plane jump. "Marco Creenn" is an anagram for "necromancer."

Hector doesn't like these people at all and is mad about everything they've done to Shadowheart, so I was going to have Jaheira cast Fog Cloud and then have Hec steal everything out of the collection box. This proved more challenging than expected, as all the guards have this feature:

Instead I had everyone split up and distract the guards so Hector could just steal the whole box. XD Teamwork!

Are you fkn kidding me? :P

Hector and I are both irritated now and I got really invested in this chest. Took it back to camp, thinking to have Gale cast "Knock" on it, but he doesn't have Knock learned at the moment; that's in one of my other playthroughs.

Sorcerous Sundries didn't immediately have a scroll for it either. (Rolan has a fun new projection of himself running the front desk now, which Hector made faces at when it didn't recognize him.)

I tried several long rests to reset his inventory but got nowhere and in the end I got fed up and ran Gale through a complete respec just so he could take Knock as one of his second level spells.

Gale, please tell me wtf is inside this chest.

Well, that was well worth all that effort.

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #complete sidetrack lol

[littlestarbigfangs]

i super duper fkn HATE it when ur talking to gale under the northern lights n u choose to say "nothing is inevitable. not if we face it together. u don't have to die." n then he's like "pretty words! if only they came from someone who actually liked me! ur delusional! we aren't even close!" im like ??? excuse me ???? just bc im not romancing u ?????? just bc im not fucking u this playthru i want u to die ??????? idk man it's just so uncalled for i hate it

#like i love gale #but when he gets rejected he becomes the biggest fkn pick me #makes me wna let him blow himself up fr #bg3 #bg3 spoilers

[videostak]

imagine if herbie hancock had made an album but w/ sly and robbie as the rhythm section but like before bill laswell gave sly and robbie that stiff 80s production treatment. ok i dont mean to knock their 80s stuff at all but like if it had that more earthy reggae sound of their 70s and early 80s stuff but like with herbie on it :o closing my eyes really hard and imagining this... well ok i guess the musical landscape where jazz and reggae meet is literally just eric gale’s negril album but like if herbie had done an album like that in like 1981 or smthn it wouldve been fkn awesome is all im saying

[dalish-spectre]

Men of taste. 

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 early access #bg3 #gale #Astarion #men of taste #BG 3 edits #larian studios #fkn vampire nerd #fkn magic vampire nerd

[ziracona]

With every movie my love of sidney grows. She working for a crisis hotline ;-; fuc milton hes disgusting. also she is more immediatly prepared for FIGHT also i love how much more soft towards sidney gale is this movie. Thts ur surrogate baby sister now ma'am uwu

Also i loved gales weird friendship with jennifer lmao. One of my fave chars of the triology lol . Also can everyone in the seried leave MAUREEN ALONE D:< the poor woman is dead stop fucjing demonizing her jfc. Im glad sidneys come to terms with loving her despite her flaws and despite everyone trying to make her see otherwise (or thats what it came off as to me anyway) also. Sid verbally destroying roman GET IM!! GET IM!!

Yeah no I totally agree!

GOD, Sidney is my GIRL! I love her so much! The working at a crisis hotline to help women, and how thoughtful and kind she is doing it TuT, her big puppy. And god, she left. She did everything she could to make herself no one someone would have reason to kill, and it’s not enough, people still come. Her PTSD episode with her mom, and how scary and alone it all is. AH and I’m glad they brought her dad back and had him visiting and being worried about her being so alone. TuT

I loved Gale and Dewey getting back and the scene at the END??? “You’re a brave man, Dewey Riley.” “Yeah, well, I’m really scared right now.” I SOB it’s true love TuT my dumb otp. And fkn Jennifer is great! Fale—fake Gale. Love it. The Gale Fake-Gale duo kills me, and fkn Jennifer’s delivery of every damn line is superb. (Wild as shit to see her as the antag in Lost in Space. I was like *leans almost vertically forward in seat* FALE??? ). And yess!!! How sweet Gale is to Sid and how she’s like, no conflict Gale just Gale to kick ass time >:-] Gale said “Fuck Ghostface, all my homies hate Ghostface” and then came to finish the job. Love the Sidney-Gale-Dewey friend team. God, they need each other so bad. Best family!

Also fkn LovED Kinkaid. Baby Patrick Dempsey, lol. *Production Room Meeting*

Casting Director: Okay. So. We need a potential love interest for Sidney, but we’ve hit a problem.

Producer: What problem?

CD *whips out human sized printout* :

Look at her! We can’t find anyone hot enough to even be believable anymore.

Producer, sweating: Shit. What do we do?

PA with a eureka moment, already making mockup posters: Okay so I got /1/ idea.

And it was the best they could do. She’s a goddess on Earth it would be hard to cast a leading partner opposite her. But god bless. Fkn LOVE. Kincaid. He gets back up like four times and every time just gets the shit beat out of him. 🤣 *Kincaid, dragging himself up to go pick a lock with blood dripping down his shoulder from a stab wound to his chest bc he hears Sid screaming.* Me, screeching from the audience: NO! Baby go lay down you survived what looked like a fatal hit just stay down I want you to make it through the movie! 😭 *Kincaid: keeps going because it’s his duty to try to save them. Immediately laid flat and injured worse.* Me: :’-]

I love that he’s like a family member too (lol, if you survive Ghostface, you get adopted by Sid, Gale, and Dewey now) and watching movies at Sid’s house it’s so cute. Fun fact! Kincaid was supposed to be in 4 too, but couldn’t be bc of a preexisting shooting schedule conflict with Dempsey. But I’ve always taken that to mean they got/stayed together and he’s just not on the tour/at work during 4 (tbh, off screen is safer to characters who survived a film anyway so maybe it’s good 🤣), and are maybe married or dating, and if not interested that way are good friends who still check in & hang for movie nights a lot. TuT

And yeah! I think that’s how it was meant to read. Maureen made some mistakes, but it doesn’t mean everything about her was bad, and also, a lot of the shit she went through was done to her, not by. She had a really rough life and tried to do better, and backslid by cheating and hooking up with married men when Sid was a teen, but she wasn’t a monster. Just a sad woman with a lot of facets. Some good, some bad, some neither. But the lies didn’t mean the good Mom Sid remembered was a lie or she can’t still love her. Bad didn’t negate the good, and she loved her mom, and she should get to. TuT

(And for real, like, cheating is fucked, but everyone quit blaming your murderous rampages on the dead woman who never killed a single person frfr it’s you.)

And yes!!! GOD! That shoutout scene with Roman is maybe my favorite scene in the franchise! Roman’s my fave Ghostface because he’s funniest to watch, and also the most interesting. He a fucking bastard like the rest, but he’s the only one who ever shows even a second of guilt for their kills on-screen or off, and it’s when Sidney goes off on her “Fuck your bullshit Roman! You got no excuse you’re just terrible!” rant, and I love that like, not just does she say that, but you can see he knows she’s right. 👌 Ultimate victory. He’s as evil as the rest (except 4. >.> 4 takes the cake but I’ll say nothing else), but I think he’s the only one (mmmaybe one of two? : / ehhh, I’ll think on it) who still sees humans as humans instead of just things, so he’s more interesting to watch/more interesting as a villain. I also fkn love his stupid “Do you think this wasn’t a message?” With the broken award 🤣—the way his actor delivers lines is exactly how my best friend would have played the role, so it’s tripple funny to me to watch it. God, and Sid holding his hand while he’s dying, after everything he did to her?

Like. Obviously he did not deserve that kind of kindness, but it’s so fucking sweet and such a statement to Sidney’s character that she’d do that in spite of it all because he’s her brother, and she just doesn’t want even the worst one possible to die alone. I’m tearing up. Sidney is so good she’s so amazing I’m gonna weep. 😭

Also. Will any moment ever be more iconic than:

No! The answer is no! Shout this at all horror villains fuck y’all, blame whatever you want cry me a river, it’s you! You did this! I fucking LOVE Sidney Prescott!!!!

#ask #sleepy #heavy spoilers for Scream 3 #spoilers #mega spoilers #scream 3 #scream 2 #scream #Sidney Prescott #Roman Bridger #Mark Kincaid