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raysofcrosby · 4 years

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LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 11

"𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵, 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵." ━ 𝐒𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐡 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧, 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫

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series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: a nice heart to heart, some fluff and hoenstly nothing else.

word count: 9,128 [of PURE UNEDITED STORY WOW ITS SO LONG]

authors note: HI hi everybody! part 11 is finally here woooo! this is honestly where i had originally planned on ending the series and i hope you guys enjoy what would have been the original ending! i can’t believe this series is practically over bc i loved writing it so much and reading all of your guys’ theories, messages and tags. it literally warms my heart how much you guys loved it! so without further ado, here’s part 11!

[ DECEMBER 23RD, 2019 ]

By the time you made it to Victoria, you were exhausted. Your flight had been delayed twice and almost canceled due to the weather, but luckily you made it home before you could end up on Jamie and Katie's flight. By the time you had landed, your mom had texted you mid-flight saying that Jordie would be picking you up and gave you no reason as to why. The moment you read her text, you realized it was too late to turn back and go hop on to another plane– so it looked like facing Jordie was your only option. It's not like you knew if he was as angry at you as Jamie was. You were the one ignoring his text messages, not the other way around. When you found him just outside of security, you felt like you were going to be sick, and every step you took towards him was spent preparing yourself for the speech he was probably going to give you.

The one thing that you didn't expect though, was for him to wrap you up in a tight hug without even saying a word. You stood there, stiff in his arms for only a moment before wrapping your arms around him and returning his hug. There was a significant age gap between you and all three siblings, all three of them were out of the house by the time you were 10-years-old. But if there was one sibling you were close to growing up, it was Jordie. Sure, you and Jamie were close too, especially with the two of you being in Dallas most months out the year. And sure, Jenn was always the best big sister to you, giving you advice on things you could never go to your parents to. But Jordie, he was the ultimate sibling. He was always on your side, no matter what choices you made but was also never afraid to call you out on your bullshit– and of course, always helped you find a way to fix it. So his hug, his hug made you feel the most relaxed you had felt since everything well to hell.

That car ride home was when he asked you how everything had been, especially since you've been dodging his calls. And while you didn't want to just throw Jamie or Tyler under the bus, the words and feelings just poured out of you. You filled in the holes and gaps that Jamie hadn't told him from beginning to end. And while he did let you know that he thought you and Tyler could have found a different way to deal with things, you could also see that he was pissed at Jamie for treating you the way that he had. Your family had one rule that all of you abided by:

you always loved and supported each other, no matter what.

When you got home, Kennedy was there to greet you along with your parents and Jordie's fiancé Jessi, and you guys all hung out together until about midnight when you and Kennedy went to bed since you were going to be showing her around Victoria tomorrow morning and afternoon. Of course, the two of you stayed up a little later as she caught you up on how her few days with her parents were and what they had gotten her for Christmas. While you filled her in on what it was like to be Big Rig's roommate, your guys' future spring break plans with Paisley and of course, your big blow up on Tyler in the hallway. You felt proud when you told her how you got everything off of your chest that you needed to and even more proud when you saw the look on her face. The one thing you weren't expecting from her though, is her suggestion that maybe you do hear him out at some point in time when the two of you were back in Dallas again.

And as the two of you fell asleep, you didn't want to admit that you had been thinking the same thing from the moment you left that hallway.

❒❒❒❒

Jamie and Katie had gotten in a few hours after everyone went to bed. As far as you knew, they were greeted by the lone kitchen light your mom always left on if someone was expecting to come home late. They were still sleeping when everyone met downstairs for breakfast and by the time that they had a chance to wake up and come downstairs, you dragged Kennedy out of the house and gave her a tour of your hometown.

You managed to avoid Jamie up until dinner time when you had no choice but to come home. You greeted Katie like you hadn't just seen her yesterday and Jamie was too wrapped up in a conversation with your mom to even warrant a greeting. Dinner was probably as awkward as it could get. Sure, the conversation flowed easily from topic to topic: the hockey season, how life in LA was going, how Jessi's parents were doing, what our predictions were when Jenn and Andrew would welcome a new baby into the world, whether or not Kennedy and I were prepared for the real world after college– it was all so easy.

Except, as expected, there were those small pockets of awkward tension whenever a small silence fell over the table or something having to do with Dallas ever popped up into question. Leave it to your dad of all people to be the one to bring up the Winter Classic and of course, Tyler in a not so obvious way. He had said he'd been talking to Paul that he had asked if both families were going to get together for a dinner after the game. You could see the vein in Jamie's forehead beginning to bulge and you shot your mom and Jordie a desperate look. When she gave you a shoulder shrug back, it was then that you looked at your father and realized he knew damn well what he had done.

No one gave him an answer, so he answered it himself and said that they were already making reservations and the rest of dinner went by uneventfully. Your mom had made her holiday chocolate mousse pie and your group sat around in the living room in front of the tv and watched, like tradition, some Hallmark movies. But as the time got later, everyone started to go off to bed. You agreed to go up but laid there, staring at your ceiling as Kennedy was fast asleep next to you. You tried everything to make yourself fall asleep, but it just wasn't happening.

You sighed and quietly snuck out of bed, putting on your slippers before opening your bedroom door and walking out into the hallway. You walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, turning on the kitchen light and grabbing yourself a clean glass that was in the drying rack. There was a drink that your dad had made you and your siblings whenever you guys were sick. And sure, you weren't sick right now, but the warm drink and the hint of alcohol would be enough to make you feel a little more sleepy than you were at this very moment. You grabbed the makers mark whiskey from beneath the kitchen island and the rest of your ingredients from around the kitchen. You remembered the first time you had to drink it. Both you and Jamie had managed to catch a winter cold and your dad made you share the same cup. Jamie's twisted face of disgust was one that still made you laugh to this day whenever you thought back on the memory. And as you finished making the drink, you smiled only for a second before remembering where your relationship with Jamie stood today.

You walked into the living room and grabbed a canucks sweatshirt that Jordie had left hanging on the back of the couch and put it on before walking back into the kitchen, grabbing your drink and then making your way out onto the back porch. You turned the light on from inside before unlocking and sliding open the door, closing it behind you. The snow blanketed your backyard and as you looked out at the untouched scene, you played home movies in your mind. Over there in the far left corner, was where your parents had managed to keep alive an old playground set that Jamie and Jordie spent years fighting on. The ancient oak tree nestled in the right corner of your fenced-in backyard was where you broke your arm for the first time. You were eight and Jamie had held you on top of his shoulders so you could reach the hole that he had hidden his report card in from your parents. He lost his footing and the two of you fell backward, your arm taking most of the impact.

The fire pit buried beneath the snow where you had your first 'official' date at fourteen the summer after Jamie's second season with the stars. You parents were out of town, Jenn was on a vacation with Andrew, so it was left to Jordie and Jamie to look after you. Your mom had already told them that they had no authority when it came to canceling your date– but in fact, they were in charge of chaperoning it. Jordie took you guys to a movie and sat ten rows back, which wasn't all that bad considering you were too nervous to do anything anyway. But when it came to having a small bonfire in the backyard, you and your date were more comfortable with each other. If only your brothers were the same.

Every time he tried to scoot his chair near yours, one of the two older Benn boys would come out with water, food or even just straight-up move your chair further away. You would turn and see the two of them peeking from the sliding door and give them the death stare before they ducked back behind a curtain. The last straw was drawn when you thought you had a free moment to have your first kiss. Jordie and Jamie hadn't come out to bother the two of you when you moved into the same seat or when he held your hand. But the moment you and your date closed your eyes and went in for a kiss, Jamie shoved a bag of marshmallows in between you and said, "it's time for smores yeah?"

You were so horrified that you had your date call his mom to come and pick him up and he had to sit in the living room with your two older brothers while you hid away in your bedroom.

Thinking back on it now, you couldn't help but laugh at just how far your two brothers went to protect you. You even tried to tie that into your situation today– but it was hard to even draw up the similarities.

When you heard the door slide open and shut again and a presence appears behind you, it didn't take long to know just who had joined you on the front porch. "How did you know I was out here?"

"I saw the hot toddy stuff on the counter and I know how you like to come out here to think sometimes." He replied, letting the silence fall between you again before making his way closer to you and coming to a stop beside you, clearing some snow off of the deck ledge and resting his arms onto it– he too was holding his drink. "I'm not sick, but it just hits the spot for when you can't sleep."

"I thought the same thing," you replied, looking at him to see him looking out at the backyard.

You wondered if he was looking out into your old childhood backyard and thinking about all of the memories like you were. Or if he was just staring out for the hell of it, trying to think of what to say to you. Hell, you didn't even know if you were going to be able to start a conversation– you sure as hell didn't feel like you needed to. The fact that he had ignored you up until this very moment was almost enough to make you finish your drink and leave him out on the back porch without a word.

Almost.

"Why are you even talking to me?"

You could tell by his slight wince at the harshness of your question, that he was caught off-guard. Perhaps he was planning to initiate the conversation after all? He took a sip of his drink, sucking in his bottom lip before sighing, hanging his head. "Jordie. He was waiting up for Katie and me and when I came back downstairs, he kind of ripped me a new one about what I said to you..."

A huge wave of disappointment washed over you. Was Jamie only talking to you out of obligation to Jordie or was he really interested in fixing things between the two of you? Would your relationship ever be the same again?

"Oh..." You frowned, looking away from him and down at your cup.

"And he's right. I shouldn't have said what I did." His answer caught your attention and you looked at him as he nodded his head from side to side. "I know that you're...a woman now and that you can make your own decisions, no matter how wrong I think they are."

If it wasn't such a serious and long-awaited moment, you would've burst into laughter at how he had whispered the last part. Just Jamie being Jamie and still owning up to his own beliefs while trying to apologize.

"And it was wrong of me to insinuate that you were just another..."

He didn't need to be looking at you for you to see how severely uncomfortable he was starting to feel at repeating his own words. So, like he often did when you were growing up, you stepped in to save him. "It's okay, I know what you mean. And I'm sorry....for everything."

He didn't respond and only kept looking down at his drink as your apology went unnoticed and the silence settled in between the two of you again. You couldn't help but wonder if this was going to be it– the way the two of you would be around each other for the rest of your lives. Sure, the freshness of it all would wear down the road– but the two of you would never forget what started it all. It'd be there like a stain you'd always try to hide, but never could. And if he wasn't going to add on to your conversation, you were stuck– unsure of what else to do to get him to talk to you.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

For some reason, that question hurt you more than seeing his face the moment he recognized you in Tyler's theatre room. It wasn't as if you were planning on hiding it forever, you were going to tell him. And not telling him before he found out, was going to be your biggest regret for a long time– especially since you could hear just how hurt he was just by hearing him ask that small, simple question.

"I think I was scared of what you'd think...or do," you shrugged, taking another sip of our drink before holding onto it tighter, letting the hot cup heat your hands. "I didn't want you to be mad at me or hate me–"

"Yeah, well look at how that turned out," he mumbled, bringing his cup to his mouth.

You traced your tongue along the side of your cheek and ignored the sting of his hushed words. He had a right to be hurt and you knew it, so you were just going to take it and hope that it was the first choice he was feeling and not the second.

"I guess I just...I didn't want you to be disappointed in me, you know? You're my big brother, I look up to you. I should've told you, I understand that now and I guess I...I don't know."

"Yeah, you should've told me." He replied, finally looking away from his cup and turning towards you. "I still would've been mad, but I'd be a lot less mad than I was when I...found you two."

He turned his attention back towards the snow as the two of you took another sip of your drinks. He sighed, probably making the same face as he did when he was a kid. More silence ensued, but this time it wasn't full of tension. Almost like the kind of silence the two of you could live with as if you were hanging out in the living room, playing on your phones.

"How have you been since...how are you?"

You raised your eyebrows in surprise as you stood up a little straighter. You weren't sure if he was really interested or asking just for the hell of it, but you were going to answer anyway as best as you could without giving too much away. "Alright, I guess," you sighed, bringing the cup back to your lips and leaning your head to the side. "Kind of wishing none of it ever happened?"

"Really?" Jamie asked, perking up a little bit as he looked at you again.

You went to answer, but the knot in your throat prevented you from doing so, so you just brought your cup to your lips and took a sip.

He sighed and you knew that he was well aware that you had just lied to him. "I was mad, Y/N. Like, the maddest that I've ever been in my entire life. Seeing you two like that, knowing you guys had been...and behind my back." He shook his head, taking a moment. "I honestly think I could've killed him then and there, and you...for a hot moment, I think I would've been one hundred percent okay if I never had to talk to you or see you again."

For the first time, you finally understood just how hurt Jamie had been and how seriously he took your situation with Tyler. His confession threw you for a surprise. He really would have been okay with never talking to or seeing you again– your own brother. The guy who was always one of the first people to comfort you. Who let you sneak into his room when you were younger because you were scared of the dark. The same guy who, once you stopped sneaking into his room thanks to a new nightlight, often slept on the floor of your bedroom because you were convinced there was a monster in your closet. His confession was enough to move you to tears and you couldn't have stopped them if you tried.

"I'm sorry," you nodded, shaking your head as your bottom lip trembled. "I-I didn't mean to hurt you and I swear everything with Tyler it just...it came out of nowhere." You took a shallow breath before going to speak again, only a small sob escaped instead.

Jamie turned slightly and stepped closer to you, bringing you into his side and rubbing your arm. He wasn't tense at the sudden hug, but instead relaxed and welcoming. "It's okay, Y/N," he said, not minding that you were getting tears on his sweatshirt. "I mean, I don't understand why you felt like you needed to hide it from me, but I do understand why you did. And I've forgiven you for it."

You sniffled, wiping your cheeks with Jordie's sweatshirt sleeve. "And Tyler?"

He paused and you could hear him holding onto his breath as he contemplated how to answer your question. He let you go from his side and sighed as the fear that you just ruined a six-year friendship, ran through your veins. "I don't know yet."

The two of you settled back in your spots on the deck ledge and sipped your drinks in silence as you both stared out at the falling snow. You got your apology, Jamie was finally acknowledging you and you can no longer feel the tension between the two of you...but something still felt off.

"Were you happy?" Jamie asks, turning towards you fully and resting an elbow on the ledge. "With Segs. Were you happy with him?"

You couldn't help but smile as you thought about all of the times you'd spent with Tyler over the last few weeks. All of the study sessions, the times you'd babysit the dogs. His facetime calls just so he could talk to you and Gerry. How you snuck him on to campus one night because he 'wanted to experience the college dorm life' and then only to have him leave the next morning saying that college beds were horrible and that you'd be sleeping at his place for the rest of the year. The time he added bubble bath to his jacuzzi because he's always wanted to do it, but then decided he'd never do it again because of the bill he had to pay to get it cleaned. Every moment was happy and giggly and left you feeling things that you haven't felt in years– not even in your few years with Cole.

"Yeah," you nodded, letting the smile fall when you looked Jamie in the eye. "Really happy."

"Why?"

You laughed softly at just how blunt Jamie's question was and how serious and bland his tone had been. You shrugged, holding your cup close to you. "I don't know how to explain it, really. I mean, we have chemistry–"

"No, please don't get into that."

"Not only that kind," you rolled your eyes. "It's like...we just get each other, you know? With Cole, it was like he never cared about my interests, my friends or my family. He didn't have the interest to know what I want to do in five years, where I want to travel. We didn't have the same sense of humor and when I'd chirp at him, he couldn't handle it."

"With Tyler," you laughed, tossing your head back softly before nodding and pointing at Jamie. "Do you remember that first roadie I went on with you guys? To Colorado? Well, on the plane ride there I had to fill out study cards, but I fell asleep. On the plane ride back, I found them already made in Tyler's messy handwriting that he tried to make neat, and he helped me study by letting me use him as an anatomy doll. I taped notecards all over him while the guys in the back of the plane laughed, and he just...let it happen. He even tried to learn it too."

You took a long sip of your drink, reminiscing on that first moment when you realized how much Tyler had meant to you. "He already loves and knows my family and my friends, but he still asks about them. Those first few weeks, he asked more about me than Cole had ever asked during our entire relationship. Not to mention, he can take my chirping and give it right back. He's saved me in a bar, picked me up at a party when I was stranded with no ride. He respects me, my choices, he understands that I'm an independent woman who can stand up for herself because she had two older brothers who taught her how to hold her own. But he's still...there, you know?"

Jamie looked at you in silence but seemed as if he was taking your words into serious consideration. Speaking about your time with Tyler made you sad and realize just how much you missed having him in your life. You haven't heard anything from him since the text he sent to you before the game and you figured that he was mad at you because you lied and told him you were staying instead of leaving. You wouldn't allow yourself to even being to imagine how his face looked when he walked into the hallway to see that you weren't there.

"It doesn't matter though, it's over. Tyler probably hates me and...it's over, it's all over." You sighed and chugged the rest of your drink, letting out a harsh sigh before pushing yourself away from the ledge. "I'm going to bed though, I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight."

You turned to walk away and towards the door, tugging on the handle and sliding it open. "Do you want it to be over though?" Jamie asked. "If you could be with him right now...would you?"

You held onto the handle and turned around to look at Jamie. "I love him, J." He opened his mouth to cut you off, but you shook your head. "And I know you think I'm stupid for saying that...and no, I don't know if we would've last or if it was just a short fling...but I do, J. I love him with my whole heart."

You stared at him, trying your best to get a read on his reaction as he just looked at you and registered your words while hoping more than anything, that he'd come to accept your feelings for Tyler. He sucked in his lips and nodded before turning back towards the backyard. "Goodnight, Y/N."

You felt disappointment come over you, a shallow ache echoed in your chest as you made your way back into the house, closing the door behind you. You placed your cup into the sink and tossed Jordie's sweatshirt onto the kitchen counter before walking up the stairs and back into your bedroom. You crawled back into your bed, the hot toddy making your body warm as you tried to focus on your breathing and the tears built up. You took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying not to wake Kennedy when another sob escaped.

You felt Kennedy shift and roll onto her side, reaching out and grabbing your hand. "Tyler?"

"Pfft, what?" You sniffled, shaking your head. "No, why would you think that?"

"Because you have 'The Summer I Turned Pretty' trilogy on your bedside table– and you always read it when you're sad."

You went to take another deep breath, only letting out a shuddered one. "Because it has a happy ending...stupid happy endings."

"Yeah, who needs happy endings," Kennedy replied, squeezing your hand.

"Me!" You cried, sniffling as you turned to Kennedy and laughing at how ridiculous you probably looked. "I want one."

Kennedy sighed, squeezing your hand again and staring at the ceiling. "I know, I know."

[ DECEMBER 25TH, 2019 ]

A Christmas Miracle, that's all you could call it. It was as if some Christmas Angel had been watching you and Jamie have your late night heart to heart, because since then– it was like the blip between the two of you never even happened. Everyone was thrilled to see the two of you joking and talking to one another again, probably no one more thrilled than your mom. He even indulged in his yearly Hallmark Christmas movie argument with you, like he did every year.

And, like they've done every year on your birthday since you could even remember, your two older brothers found a way to toss you into a snowbank as a morning wake up. After the age of 13, you found it extremely annoying and always struggled against them as they'd carry you to the backyard. But considering everything that happened, you were more than willing to participate in the festivities. Since your birthday took place on Christmas, your family always had a specific Christmas routine.

The two older Benn boys would toss you into the snowbank, you'd change into the clothes that your mom already had set aside. Then you'd all eat your favorite breakfast (which Jamie and Jordie groomed you to love their favorite breakfast from the moment you had a choice), everyone would settle in with their coffee and drinks of choice before relaxing in the living room. As the birthday girl, you'd always get to open the first present and then everyone would do their gift exchanges. When gifts were done, your dad would put in the first one many original classic Christmas movies and you'd relax all day until the night came. At night, the family would gather up and drive a few blocks down to the Wilkinson's Christmas Tree farm for pond skating and hot chocolate.

It was always a fun-filled day, and besides you finally turning 22 years old, you loved the traditions the day brought and the love and happiness that radiated all around you. The best surprise came when you had Kennedy answer the door to her Christmas present. She squealed when she saw Big Rig standing there with a Santa hat on and a cheesy grin. And when she jumped into his arms and he spun her around on your front porch, your heart swelled with joy. You knew he was coming, the two of you had planned it sometime after Kennedy had gone home. His family was already planning on visiting extended family in Vancouver on Christmas and he thought he'd stop by around late-afternoon to surprise her.

When she found out you were in on the surprise, she tackled you with a hug and then told you that she hated you– but you just told her that you loved her too and to go get her man. As the day dwindled on, you saw how happy everyone was around one another and realized just how incredibly single you were. You looked down at your phone and opened your messages, staring down at Tyler's contact and re-reading his last message over and over again. You opened the message and took a deep breath, typing one up.

Merry Christmas ☃️🎄

You stared at the screen as the small delivered appeared beneath your message. When the three moving dots appeared on his side, you felt your heart skip a beat and the grip on your phone get a little tighter. Maybe he wasn't mad at you after all and was just giving you space to reach out to him?

All of that hope went away just as soon as the three dots disappeared. You felt yourself literally crumble as you hoped that they'd pop up again, but never did. You locked your phone and sighed, before joining your family outside so that you guys could head to the Wilkinson farm.

The Wilkinson's were longtime family friends who owned a Christmas tree farm that had been passed down through generations of family. Over time, instead of just selling Christmas trees, they would sell hot chocolate, have pictures with Santa for the kids, a little 'Elfs workshop' where you could buy small gifts, and in the middle of the space, not too far away from all the small festivities, was a frozen pond where you could go ice skating for the small price of $5 if you had your own skates and $7 if you needed to rent them.

It was a tradition to not only get your Christmas tree from the Wilkinson's but on Christmas night, to go ice skating out on the pond with the Wilkinson's and a few other families as well. It was probably your favorite part of the day because just being around all of the close families and skating around with the kids you grew up with was the best.

But at the moment, that wasn't looking all too cheery.

"Can you at least pretend to be excited?" Kennedy asked, closing the car door behind her. "The look on your face could melt Frosty the Snowman if he was around."

"Oh, I'm sorry," you replied, clasping your hands together. "Let me just smile and wave while I tag along on this," you looked around your group, counting everyone. "This eight-person date. Nothing makes me happier than being the ninth wheel around couples."

"I can be your stand-in, pretend boyfriend if you want?" Big Rig laughed, fixing his coat. "It'd make me look good since I'd have two beautiful girls on my arms."

"I can share," Kennedy laughed, hooking her arm through his. "You can look, but don't touch."

You smiled and rolled your eyes. "Don't worry, he's all yours Kennedy."

"Are you guys coming or no?" Jamie called out. The three of you turned to see the rest of your group already heading towards the small cabin where you would rent your skates.

"Ugh, let's just get this over with, yeah?" You groaned, walking ahead of them and stuffing your free hand into your jacket pocket. You normally weren't such a grouch, but your mood hasn't been the same since you sent that text to Tyler and knew that he had read it. You spent the entire car ride trying to tell yourself that it wasn't your fault– that even before you left the arena, you knew that the damage had been done.

You were just now seeing how life would be without Tyler in it like he used to be.

"Go ahead and go to the pond, Y/N. We're just going to grab some skates." Jordie said, waving you off in the direction towards the pond.

"I'm sorry?" You asked, holding up your skates. "Did I miss the part where the three NHL boys and two parents of NHL players...forgot their skates?"

Jamie rolled his eyes and stepped away from the counter where Tyler Wilkinson, your first crush and three years your senior, was chatting with your parents. He walked over to you and gave you a gentle nudge away from them all. "We're helping Katie, Jessi, Kennedy and Big Rig get skates. Just go snag us a bench before someone else takes one."

You nodded but mumbled incoherently beneath your breath as you walked through the path that leads you directly through the Christmas trees and out towards the pond. The farm itself was looking barren since it was Christmas and the Wilkinson's had sold every available tree that was for sale. The further you walked, the more you could begin to smell the freshness of the trees that still had time to grow until they would be sold in the Christmas's to come. Lined up on both sides of the path were string lights on poles, linking together to light the path.

The trees began to thin out as you came to the opening of the skating area. Strangely, there was no one else around, which was extremely odd since your family was already running a little late than normal and most of the time you guys weren't the first family here. You walked over to a bench and plopped down, getting ready to put on your skates when you noticed something spread along the ice. You turned back towards the path to see if anyone from your group was coming before reaching for your phone and calling Jamie.

Only it went straight to voicemail. You rolled your eyes and waited for his automatic message to finish before speaking. "Is this place closed because nobody else is here. There's also like," you sighed and stood up, making your way over to the ice, carefully stepping on and sliding your way over to the object. "It's this shadow on the ice and hold on, I'm getting closer to it. It's– what the hell?"

Your eyebrows furrowed as you moved closer to what was previously a dark spot on the ice. As you got closer to it– you saw it for what it was...a bottle of wine and a box of your favorite cookies. Surrounding them were printed out pictures positioned to spell something out.

'I'm Sorry'

You slowly moved closer to the pictures, carefully squatting down and picking one up to see it was a candid of you and Marshall snuggling on Tyler's couch. As you looked at the rest of them, you felt your chest flutter. They were all pictures of you. Some of them were selfies of you and Tyler, but most of them were candids of you doing simple things– napping on his lap, studying on the couch, tanning with the dogs, glaring at Tyler after he had spilled flour everywhere on one of the nights you made pizza. Every picture held a memory, all of them you remembered, but none you realized had been captures. Your eyes skimmed them all and landed on the last one that was propped up against the wine bottle and cookies. You reached forward and picked it up, bringing it closer to you before you laughed.

It was a picture of a night where you, Kennedy, Big Rig and Tyler were all hanging out at Tyler's place. Kennedy or Big Rig must have taken the picture because it was of you and Tyler sitting on the couch, obviously trying to cuddle and Gerry was trying to force his way between you while Cash was sprawled out across your lap and Marshall was lying on the floor in front of you, staring at his two brothers. Tyler was laughing and trying to push Gerry off while looking at you with the sweetest eyes and you just had your head tossed back into a full-on fit of laughter.

It was a perfect representation of what your relationship was like– always laughing and pure joy.

You heard someone else join you on the ice and you immediately knew who it was, just based on how the hairs on the back of your neck stood up and your heart pounded against your chest. "Hey, Y/N..."

You wanted to turn around and just run into his arms before the tears got the chance to fall down your face, but you reminded yourself of the hell he had put you through the last two weeks and for once, your body listened to your brain. "What are you doing here?"

You heard him move closer but kept your back to him, fearful that if you even got the tiniest look at him, your courage and defense would come crumbling down in an instant. "You didn't meet me after the game and I..." He sighed, frustrated, "we need to talk about everything."

"I meant what I said Tyler, you had two weeks to reach out to talk to me– to explain everything, but you never did. So why should I give you the chance to do it now?"

"You shouldn't, that's the thing." You hadn't expected him to agree with you if anything you expected him to plead his case and beg for a chance. "But if you do give me the chance...I'll take whatever time you give me."

You took a deep breath, your eyes looking down at the display that suddenly made complete sense. He had set this up on the ice. He had printed off these pictures he'd taken of you and saved– obviously you had meant something to him more than you previously thought. You cleared your throat and put the picture in your hand in your pocket as you brought out your phone and opened the timer. You set it for five minutes before turning around and showing him your screen and pressing the start button. "You've got five minutes."

You were right. One look at him and you wanted to run over to him and just fall into his arms. His hair was disheveled and curled. He was dressed down in jeans, sneakers and a Dallas Stars sweatshirt that you knew all too well. He was in his relaxed element and it was how you loved him the most.

"Okay five minutes, phew okay, um," He stuttered over his own words as he simultaneously struggled to get his hands out of his sweatshirt pockets. "I'm sorry that I never texted you after everything. I meant to– I even typed up a bunch of messages and I just...I never sent them because I don't– I don't know why. God, why is this so hard?" He groaned, rubbing his hands down his face.

"Four minutes."

"Shit, okay I guess I didn't text you because I wanted that to be a face to face conversation? I just, I didn't want to drop shit like that over a text. And the uber thing, God, I fucking wish I could take that back so much, Y/N. Cassidy and Candace even told me how much of a douchebag I was for that. I didn't mean to make you feel like you were just another side piece and I think, I think I was just in fucking shock over how everything just imploded right in front of me."

"Three." You said, taking a glance at your phone before looking back at him. He had maintained eye contact with you every moment he vented, which only made you more emotional. He was covering his bases well and the desperation in his voice and pain in his eyes helped you know that he was meaning every single word. But he still hadn't talked about the one thing you wanted him to explain most of all.

"You were right, about me still being that kid in Boston. I mean, I'm not– I don't want to be. I've worked hard on myself and I've grown up since being here in Dallas– a lot of that was because of Chubb–Jamie. And I think, I think I just panicked over losing not just you...but him too." He stepped closer to you, shaking his head. "I, he's one of my best friends, Y/N. And the pain of even thinking about not having you in my life was horrible– like that shit gave me a migraine. But losing the both of you? I don't think I could even fucking survive."

"Two minutes."

His eyes looked at your phone and you saw them widen in fear. He had so much to say and knew he was running out of time to say it, but couldn't quite phrase it just right. "That's why I didn't text, call or even talk to you in person to explain. I just– I wanted to fix things with Jamie and explain to him that what happened with us, that it wasn't malicious or a stupid hit it and quit it situation– that I actually cared for you and he just, he wouldn't listen."

"You called me an obsessed hook up in the locker room." You said, speaking for the first time other than reading out how much time he had left. "Care to explain that?"

He opened his mouth to speak and closed it, the pattern happening twice before he shook his head and tried to blink away the faint tears that shined in his eyes. "I was frustrated at your brother and that stupid comment Draisaitl made about you and me to Jamie and just," he stepped towards you reaching for your hand and grabbing on to it, staring at it when he realized you hadn't pulled away. "I didn't mean it, I'd never mean that. You're–"

"45 seconds." You said, pulling your hand away from his.

He blinked a few times before nodding his head and licking his lips. "I never invited Maisy to the game, she came herself with her boyfriend and his cousin and her roommate. She just picked those seats because she liked the view and her boyfriend had never been to a game before."

You wanted to ask how he knew that, but you knew there was really only one way he'd find out– he'd have to ask.

"I called her, that same night after the game. I was an honest ass about it too, wondering what the hell she was pulling and she told me everything. She was never there for me. I didn't invite her and I didn't buy her those tickets, Y/N. I would have never done that to you," he reached for you only this time his hand came up to your face. "You were never just a hook-up to me. You were so much more than that and I think that I even lo..." He paused, looking down as your phone timer rang, erupting in between the two of you and signaling that his time was over with. His Adam's apple bobbed as he looked back up at you with hope in his eyes. "You're still so much more to me than that," he whispered, his thumb brushing away a tear on your cheek that you hadn't even noticed started to fall down your cheek.

You took a small step away from him, holding up your phone. "Five minutes is up. Tha–" you cleared your throat and took a breath, relaxing yourself. "Thank you for explaining everything."

He sucked in his bottom lip and nodded his head taking a step back and stuffing his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. "It's the least I could do after putting you through all of that. Thank you for letting me talk, I know you didn't have to do that."

He turned to walk away and paused mid-step, smiling at you. "Happy Birthday by the way. 22 years old? God, what are you an old lady now?" He added a sad mimic of his usual glowing childlike smile.

You gave him a small smile back. "Better than 27 and having joints that crack like an 80-year-olds every time I walk."

He laughed a small and genuine laugh before giving you one last look and turning his back to you, shuffling his way across the ice slowly. You watched him walk away, your heart screaming not to let him go while your brain was wondering how the hell he even got here in the first place. When you went to put your phone back into your pocket, you felt the picture and a quick flashing memory of that day and every day in between, passed by your eyes. The smiles, the laughter, the way you felt comfortable and safe in his arms– you missed it all.

"Tyler, wait! You called out, causing him to stop before he could even get that far away. He turned as you started to shuffle your way across the ice the short distance he managed to travel. "These pictures," you brought out the photograph and pointed at the rest. "Where did you get them?"

"Are you kidding?" He laughed, digging into his pocket and bringing out his phone. He typed away on it before turning it handing you his phone and showing you an album that had been strictly dedicated to you, the dogs and himself.

Titled: 💚🌎

"Honestly, when you rightfully chewed me out in the hallway, I just had this gut feeling that it was over and that maybe I should delete the photos but," he leaned over and looked at the screen, shrugging his shoulders. "As you said, my times with you were some of the greatest memories I've had in Dallas. And even if you didn't want anything to do with me anymore...I still wanted to keep those. Because to me, these pictures," he pointed at the screen and smiled at you. "Those are my favorite memories, the ones that never fail to make me smile. You're my favorite memory of Dallas, Y/N. Not the partying, the people I've met or the fancy events I go to. But you."

You scrolled through the album and saw even more pictures than the ones he had printed out and your heart was feeling like it could just erupt. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes and your bottom lip trembling. "You really hurt me Tyler..."

"I know," he said, shaking his head and the pain and understanding in his eyes evident. "And I will never fucking forgive myself for that, Y/N. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to say 'fuck you' and kick my dumbass to the curb and never talk to me again." He stood closer to you, closing up any space between your bodies. "And if by some Christmas miracle, you decide to forgive me and give me a second chance...I'd do anything to make it right."

"Anything?" You asked, looking up at him to see him nodding. "Can I have my '#1 labrador mom' keychain back? I miss my puppers."

He laughed and pulled the lanyard along with his house key out of his sweatshirt pocket. "They miss you too, almost as more as I do. Keyword, almost." He handed you the keychain and looked back at you with hopeful eyes. "Anything else?"

You held onto the lanyard tightly and nodded. "Kiss me?"

This time, his real smile took over his face as he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you against him, pressing a kiss to your lips. You wrapped both arms around his neck and pulled him into, savoring the kiss before tucking your head into the crook of his neck and closing your eyes. He wrapped his other arm around your waist before picking you up and spinning you around in a daring circle.

"Tyler, no skates!" You squealed, holding onto him tighter as he put you back onto the ice.

He smiled at you, catching his breath before ducking down and kissing you once, twice, three times and pulling you back into his chest. "I missed you so fucking much, Y/N."

"Say it." You said, looking up at him and resting your chin on his chest. "What you were going to say before the timer went off."

He gave you a knowing smile before brushing a piece of hair out of your face and resting his hand on the back of your head. "I love you."

You smiled and jumped up and more into his arms, knocking him off of his feet and onto his ass. The two of you laughed as you straddled over him and pressed another kiss to his lip while your left hand, still holding onto the lanyard, cradled his face. "I love you too." You whispered, feeling his grip around your waist tighten.

He smiled, nudging his nose against your own. "I know."

"OKAY LOVEBIRDS, GET OFF THE ICE SO WE CAN SKATE, EH?" Big Rig yelled out, causing the two of you to look over and see that you had an audience waiting for you at the edge of the pond.

You felt your heart hammer against your chest as you saw Jamie standing there with Katie. You were nervous about what he thought about Tyler's trip here on Christmas to rekindle what you guys had started months earlier. Tyler took the initiative to stand up first, helping you off of the ice and dusting you off before holding onto the hand and leading the two of you to the edge of the pond.

"I forgot to ask," you said, looking at him as he stepped off of the pond first. "How did you even know I was going to be here?"

Before Tyler could say anything, he was cut off. "I called him." You turned to see Jamie stepping towards you and not stopping until he was standing directly in front of you and Tyler. "After my conversation with Jordie and then talking to you...I reached out to him."

You looked at Tyler who gave you a smile and a nod. "We talked everything out and he told me to come out here."

"You helped him plan this?" You asked, looking at Jamie with a confused look.

"Cassidy, Candace and I helped him plan the pictures, cookies, and wine," Kennedy smiled, snuggling into Big Rig's side. "But everything else was him."

"I wouldn't say everything else. I just got him here and kept everyone back at the skate rental." He said, looking back at Kennedy and then at Tyler. "But the rest was Seggy."

You looked at Jamie and tried to read him. There wasn't any tension in his stance towards Tyler, nor was he sending him secret death glares. Instead, he had the same protective brother energy radiating off of him like he did on your first date or around any other guy who tried to date you.

And for the first time ever, you didn't care.

You rushed from Tyler's side and practically tackled Jamie with a hug, squeezing him as tight as you had your eyes shut. He hugged you just as tight, even lifting you off of the ground just a tad. "I love you and I just want what's best for you, Y/N. And if that's Seggy, then I'm on your side...100%." He whispered, kissing the top of your head.

"I love you too J...thank you." You pulled out of his arms and looked back at Tyler with a smile before turning back to your family group. "So, are we skating or what?"

"Well, considering there's a big romantic gesture in the middle of the pond, I don't know how we can do–OW!" Jordie said, looking at Jessi before sighing. "Okay, I guess we can go pick it up. Come on Jamie."

Everyone sat down and talked as they got their skates on and as you looked around the group, you felt like you were once again floating on cloud nine. A hand appeared in front of your face and you looked up to see Tyler smiling at you and nodding his head towards the ice. "Skate?"

"Sure thing, Seguin. As long as you don't go breaking a hip on me." You replied, rolling your eyes.

He laughed and pulled you up off of the bench and the two of you skated around on the ice, hand in hand. "I'll save the hip breaking for the Family Skate at the Winter Classic." He looked down at you. "You're coming to that, right?"

"As a part of Jamie's family or..." You didn't dare say the other option, fearful that you were jumping into a whole nother conversation.

But Tyler smiled and held up your intertwined hands in between the two of you. "You can go as Jamie's family, sure. But I was kind of hoping that you'd you know...skate with me..." He nodded his head side to side, hoping that you'd be able to fill in the blanks but you just smiled. "As my girlfriend? Unless you're totally scared of me beating you in the race we will most definitely be having."

"I'd love to," you smiled, reaching up and kissing him on the lips. "And for the record, I'd totally beat your ass."

He raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Would you like to test that theory?"

You smirked, dropping his hand and winking at him. "You're on."

#tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin oneshot #tyler seguin writing #tyler seguin one shot #nhl imagine #nhl writing #nhl oneshot #nhl one shot #hockey imagine #hockey oneshot #hockey writing #hockey one shot #ldyk fic #my writing

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ificanthaveu · 5 years

Text

Work Too Much || Shawn Mendes

Description: You’re working 2 jobs and going to school. Shawn tries to fix it in the wrong way.

A/N: Hello, this is my real life right now, so I wrote it into a story bc what else is new :) that and inspo from Summer On You by PRETTYMUCH and (obviously) Work Too Much by Julia Michaels

Word Count: 3.2k

You glanced at the clock after what felt like over an hour. You hung your head when you realized it had only been ten minutes. Closing on a Sunday was everyone’s worst nightmare which is why you got stuck with it. [Y/N] will take any shift. She’ll just do it. Every. Single. Week.

After what felt like forever, 7:00 hit, and you quickly closed the register down before moving on to the pile of dishes by the sink in the back. You’d be lucky if you got out of there by 9:00. The dishes were gone through as quickly as possible, and then the counters were wiped down. The cafe was swept and mopped and every shelf was dusted.

You glanced at the clock as you wiped up the last crumbs on the last table. 8:30. Not bad. You quickly clocked out and grabbed your bag, jogging to your bike parked in the back.

The sun was almost down as you biked to your apartment just under a mile away. Your bike was thrown in the shared garage, and you unlocked your ground level door and trudged inside. You glanced down at your phone for the first time since before your shift started at noon. One missed call and four messages from Shawn.

Leaving for the airport. Can’t wait to see you, my love.

Security is taking fucking forever, won’t be surprised if I miss my flight.

I didn’t miss it! It just got delayed! Neat!

I’ll be lucky if I get there by midnight. I’m so sorry.

You sighed as you read through them before pressing your phone to your ear to listen to the voicemail.

“Hey, hun. I know you’re probably still at work. I would’ve just called your work number, but you yelled at me last time I did that,” he said. You let out a laugh before continuing to listen.

“Anyways, my flight was delayed. I should be leaving within the hour and hopefully be with you by midnight,” he paused, and you could hear a voice over a loudspeaker in the background.

“Yeah, probably midnight,” he sighed, and you could just tell he was running his hand over his face. “I love you, baby girl. I’ll see you soon.”

With that, you set your phone down on the counter and rested your head on the cabinet in front of you. You took a deep breath before glancing at the clock ahead of you. 8:50. Three hours until Shawn would be here.

You trudged to your bedroom and grabbed your backpack before slamming it on the table and pulling out your homework due tomorrow morning. Luckily, your roommate was visiting her parents for the week which was why Shawn was coming in the first place. Time alone was rare when you both were so damn busy.

You pulled out your Economics study guide and started researching the questions.

Your mind wandered off within ten minutes as you thought about your current situation. You were in school full time, year-round and working two jobs, being a manager at one of those. You were lucky if you got to bed by midnight before waking up around 6:00 for class most mornings. You thought about dropping out multiple times, but you knew you’d never actually do it. This was hell, but it was temporary. This would all be done, and you’d be working a full-time job in less than a year. You watched everyone else at your school party every weekend and not work at all. You wished it could be that easy for you, but it just wasn’t. It also didn’t help that you were dating Shawn.

He begged you to visit him just about every other week which simply wasn’t at all possible. In the almost year you had been together, you’d flown out to visit him once. And it was a Christmas present from him you denied multiple times before he forced you to take it. He’d come to visit you as often as he could, but that wasn’t easy either.

You eventually lulled yourself to sleep on the kitchen table until your phone rang making you shoot up and reach for it.

“Hello,” you grumbled without looking to see who it was.

You heard a laugh before the voice said, “Did you really fall asleep?”

“Yeah, I’ve been up since 5:00. I’m so sorry,” you said as you shut your laptop and set it aside.

“I’m outside by the way,” he said as you heard the light knocking coming from your front door. You left your phone on the table as you ran to the door and swung it open. He could barely say a word before you jumped into his arms. He held you up with one arm as he set his bag down with the other, eventually wrapping both arms around you and holding you close. You hid your head in his neck, and your legs wrapped around his waist.

“I missed you,” you mumbled. He ran his hand up and down your back before squeezing you tightly once more and setting you down. He ran his hand lightly up and down your arm and admired you for a moment before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips.

You savored the moment as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you. You pulled away for a moment to let him inside and close the door behind him before he wrapped his arms around you once more.

“Can we go to bed? I’m exhausted,” he mumbled into your hair. You started to nod before remembering your unfinished homework on the table.

“I have an Economics worksheet due tomorrow morning,” you said as you scrunched up your face in disgust. Shawn sighed and threw his head back dramatically.

“You work too hard,” he said as he gave you a look and made his way into the kitchen.

“I just have a few questions left. It’ll take me a half an hour, tops,” you explained to him.

“I can sit with you?” He asked. You looked at his tired eyes, and as much as you wanted to say yes, you didn’t.

“Go to bed. I’ll be there soon,” you said as you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before sitting back down at the table and getting back to work. He stood there for a moment and watched you before leaning down and looking at what you were studying, one hand on the back of your chair and the other next to your laptop.

“Production-possibility frontier? Riveting,” he said in a monotone voice as he squinted and tried to read what you were typing into your laptop. You turned and looked up at him.

“Go to bed, bub,” you said. He sighed and kissed the top of your head before turning to go into your room.

“If you’re not in bed in a half an hour, I’m coming to get you,” he said as he leaned out of the doorway. You rolled your eyes at him.

“Like you’ll even be awake,” you said as you turned back towards your homework.

“Ouch,” you heard from inside your room. You shook your head slightly as you went back to your homework.

A half an hour later, you finally submitted the work and packed up your things for tomorrow’s class. As if on cue, Shawn leaned out of your room. He was half asleep, his curls that definitely needed a cut were messed up, and his eyes were half shut.

“Are you coming?” He mumbled as he squinted at the light. You set down your backpack by the door and walked towards him. You gently pushed his chest back into your room, and he made his way back into the bed and waited for you to join him.

You undressed and threw on his shirt that was on the foot of your bed. He pulled back the covers for you, and you gladly climbed in, making your way into his arms.

You both sighed at the same time as you both were finally comfortable with your head on Shawn’s chest and his arm around your waist.

“You know, I’m serious when I say you work too hard,” he mumbled above you. You moved so your chin rested on his chest, and you looked up at him.

“So do you,” you said back. He rolled his eyes at you and tried to hide the smile threatening the corners of his mouth.

“But you don’t have to.”

“Neither do you.”

“I’m not getting anywhere with this, am I?”

“Nope.”

He finally gave up as you both fell asleep.

The distant ringing of your phone slowly pulled you out of sleep. You rolled over and reached for it, but it wasn’t on the side table where it would usually be. You groaned as you got out of bed to find where you left your phone last night.

You found it on the kitchen underneath your Economics notebook, and you quickly silenced it before checking the time.

6:30. Great.

You trudged your way to the shower, almost falling asleep multiple times. You got out after probably ten minutes and threw on your robe, making your way back to your room where Shawn was still sound asleep.

You quickly got dressed and threw your hair up before looking over at Shawn. His arm was holding the pillow close to him as his head was buried in it and one leg was hanging off the bed. You smiled softly at him before pressing a kiss to his head and making your way out the door.

An 8:00 am Economics class was probably the worst decision you’d ever made. Of course, there really wasn’t any other option since it wasn’t offered online like your other summer class, and the night class would’ve gotten in the way of your work schedule. So you dragged yourself here every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday and forced yourself to stay awake.

As your professor went over the homework from last night, you pulled up your student account on your laptop and stared at the bar showing your degree progression, hoping for some reason that it would just leap to 100%, and you’d be done with all of this. Sure, you could skip the summer classes and J terms and graduate in 4 years like everyone else, but ever since your advisor told you there was a possibility of 3 years, you couldn’t get it out of your head. So, you’d take the late nights and early mornings if it meant saving a few thousand dollars later on.

A text from Shawn popped up on your screen and pulled you out of your trance.

Did you really ditch me???

You shook your head slowly before typing out your reply. Of course, he forgot your schedule.

In class, be home in an hour.

Want me to pick up breakfast? Coffee from the cafe down the street?

You smiled at his message and stared at it for a moment longer. He knew your small college town pretty well after visiting here numerous times in the past year. He knew how much you loved the coffee from that cafe, even if you couldn’t afford it most weeks.

That sounds perfect.

He sent a heart back, and you exited out of the messages and focused back on your professor with a newfound surge of energy.

Class let out a few minutes early, and you began the short walk back home. The door was unlocked when you got back, and you opened it to find Shawn taking your breakfast out of the to-go bag.

“Good morning,” you said as you set down your backpack. He looked up at you with a smile and walked over to you with your iced coffee in his hand.

“Your favorite,” he said with a smile before handing it to you and giving you a quick kiss.

“You’re too good to me,” you said before following him into the kitchen. He responded with a laugh and sat down across from you as you both dug into the waffles.

He asked you questions about your class, and you answered them between bites and sips.

“Do you work at all today?” He asked. You shrugged your shoulders and swallowed.

“Not really. I just have a managerial meeting at the mall at 2. It shouldn’t take more than an hour,” you said simply as you picked at what was left of your food.

Shawn just stared at you before you looked up and met his eyes.

“I don’t know how you do it,” he said. You shrugged your shoulders and took another drink of your coffee.

“Don’t really have another choice,” you said.

“Yes, you do, [Y/N],” he said with that same voice he always said it in. You calmly set your fork down and took a deep breath.

“We’re not having this conversation again,” you said, shutting it down before it could get started, but you knew that wouldn’t work. It never did.

“At least quit one job.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because then I won’t make rent or my tuition payment, so if I quit a job, then I’m either homeless or I drop out of school.”

“Not if I pay your rent.”

You tried to calm yourself down and not let yourself get mad over this again. You’d had this fight a time too many, and you were sick of it.

“Like I’ve said before, no. I’m not going to let you just pay my way for me.”

“Why not?”

“I shouldn’t have to explain why. You should just respect that I want to do it on my own,” you explained.

Shawn rested his head in his hands and ran his hands through his hair, tugging on the ends and getting more frustrated.

“You’re working yourself thin, and soon you’ll have nothing left and you won’t be able to take it anymore. You’re constantly on the verge of a breakdown, you haven’t slept a decent night’s sleep in months, you haven’t had a full day off since Easter, and you never get to visit me. I’m not asking you to let me pay for everything. I’m asking you to let me pay for one damn thing, [Y/N]. I’m just trying to make this easier on you because it kills me seeing you like this all the time,” he said as soft as he could muster up, but you could still hear the anger laced in his voice.

“Thank you for caring about me like this. I love that you want to do this, and the thought alone is enough for me to see how much you care about me. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m still going to do this on my own,” you explained for what felt like the thousandth time.

“I don’t know what else I can do anymore. I can’t keep uprooting myself once or twice a month to come see you because you can’t get time off to see me,” he said as he stared down at his empty plate.

Your heart dropped to your stomach. As many times as you’d had this fight, this was the first time he said that.

“What?” You asked as the anger built up inside of you. Before he could even answer, you spoke up again. “Are you seriously giving me an ultimatum? Either quit the job or this is done? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like.” You could feel your heart speed up as it took everything in you to not start yelling.

“Well…” he started but trailed off, not really knowing what to say. “I just want to help you.”

“I don’t need help,” you snapped. “Why can’t you just support me like I support you without questioning it? I’ve never once told you to skip an interview or a photoshoot to come see me. I’d never ask you to quit doing these things you love just because I want to see you. I love my job at the mall. Being a manager there is going to look incredible on my resume once I graduate. The coffee shop is hard, but my coworkers there are my best friends, and they’re extremely flexible with my schedule. This is temporary. I graduate in ten months, and it’ll get easier. But I’m not abandoning any of this until I have finished it. You’re asking me to quit a job now, and if I do that, how long will it be until you ask me to quit the other or drop out of school or give up my full-time job in the future? You can leave me, but my degree can’t. And I’m not going to be some trophy girlfriend who follows you around. I’ve never been that kind of person, and you know that, so why do you keep asking?”

Shawn didn’t say anything. You waited a moment before turning around and going into your room, slamming the door behind you. You laid back on your bed and stared at the ceiling as you tried to control your breathing. You could hear Shawn’s chair against the kitchen floor and his footsteps come towards your room. A gentle knock sounded against your door.

“[Y/N], honey, please let me in.” His voice sounded softer, not as angry as it did minutes before.

“It’s unlocked,” you said to the ceiling. You didn’t move as he slowly opened the door and sat at the foot of your bed and stared at the wall.

“I’m not going to leave you,” he finally said.

“I know.”

“I just want you to be happy and comfortable.”

“I am happy.”

“And comfortable?”

“I’ll get there.”

He finally turned to face you as you looked up at him. He laid down on his side next to you as you faced him, doing the same.

“You’re stubborn,” he finally said. You both cracked a smile.

“So are you.”

Shawn reached across and tucked your hair behind your ear before resting his hand on your cheek and running his thumb across your cheek.

“I got off work for the VMAs, and my summer classes will be done and fall begins a week later, so I can stay with you for the whole week,” you finally said. Shawn’s face broke out into a smile, and he practically jumped on you and pinned you down on the bed as he sat on top of you.

“When were you going to tell me this?” He said, his face inches from yours.

“Over breakfast, but then you made me mad,” you said as you gave him a look. Before you could say another word he shut you up by finally kissing you. You flipped the two of you over as you straddled his waist and pulled away for a moment.

“Are you going to let me pay for your flight?” He said as he looked up at you. You narrowed your eyes at him as he pleaded with you.

“Maybe just this once.”

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nardaviel · 7 years

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tell us about kinatsuen

:DDD ty anon! sorry for the delay

1. Who texts more often?

en but they’re usually just weird things he’s thinking about at the time. atsushi texts most often with information or questions that are relevant to their lives. kin-chan rarely initiates texting although he’ll respond if someone else texts him

2. Who is better with kids?

atsushi!! en likes them but they’re exhausting and kin-chan often doesn’t know how to deal with them

3. Who tops/bottoms?

en tops. kin-chan bottoms. atsushi is a switch. sometimes en or kinshirou will do the opposite role but tbh not often

4. How do they eat ice cream? What’s their favorite flavors?

they all get ice cream in a cup. atsushi thinks cones are nice but more trouble than they’re worth, en just thinks they’re a pain especially if you eat slowly, and kin-chan thinks it’s gross how sometimes the ice cream melts over your hand. i think atsushi would adore ice cream with chili in it but i don’t think they have things like that in japan (am i wrong though????? idk) so instead he gets chocolate, or any unusual flavors if they sound interesting. en likes vanilla ice cream with weird toppings, especially manjuu if thats an option like in the game :D kinchan likes green tea ice cream. it doesnt taste like green tea but he still thinks it tastes good

5. Do they go on dates? What are they like?

i dont think they go out on specially designated dates very often. for special occasions maybe like kinchans birthday. he probably wants to go to a fancy restaurant for his birthday dates so those are full of en feeling kind of uncomfortable and out of place, until kinchan catches on and starts getting them private rooms so en doesnt feel judged. … they go out sometimes to do stuff i think? and those are de facto dates even though they werent planned that way, like.. they act cute and in love bc theyre too in love to do otherwise

6. Do they stargaze? Expand.

WHAT A QUESTION

yes, they go stargazing. but en falls asleep quickly tbh and sometimes he cba to go at all so often its just kinatsu. when its kinatsu, it is sickeningly sweet. i still think that atsushi is the one whos really into astronomy and kinchan just enjoys spending time with atsushi in a romantic setting. there is lots of cuddling. …when en is there, though, he like .. makes up new constellations and speculates about the mysteries of space, &c &c. so its not as tooth-rotting but everyone still has a good time

7. Who’s the laziest?

hmmmmmmmmm…

8. Who complains more?

en tbh but kinchan has his moments as well

9. Who wakes up earlier?

kinchan! atsushi wakes up early too but not kinchan-level early. en .. yeah

10. What do they smell when they smell amortentia?

en: fresh laundry (= clean sheets), the smell of something sweet baking, kin-chan’s soap lololatsushi: curry, green tea bc he associates it with kin-chan, that kind of autumny smell u know when the leaves are falling and its starting to get coolkin-chan: the smell of tea ceremony which may or may not include more smells than just green tea idk, the sweet curry atchan makes him, a faint hint of paint bc en is an artist but too much paint smell is unpleasant

11. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back?

LMAO if anyone would do this, en would, but i’m not convinced. possibly kin-chan sets the alarm on en’s phone to something unbearable on a day when en has to get up early

12. Who uses chopsticks/Can either of them use chopsticks?

they’re all japanese so

13. When they can’t sleep what do they do?

kinchan tries to lie there in silence with his eyes closed the way u r meant to do. sometimes that gets results. if it doesn’t, he probably gets up and reads in a different room. atsushi does the same, except when he lies there quietly he’s less likely than kinchan to cuddle up to whoever’s next to him bc he doesn’t want to wake them up. en … ????????????????????? ??????? if he couldn’t sleep he wouldn’t know what to do with himself so he’d just lie there until it happened

14. Who’s clumsier?

probably atsushi. none of them really strike me as super clumsy but i think kinchan is graceful. whereas atsushi can be kind of awkward sometimes im sorry bby

15. Who would hold the umbrella in the rain?

en is the tallest. he’d try to make atsushi do it but atsushi would be like “just hold the umbralla en-chan omg” so he’d do it. he’d whine about it tho. also it’d have to be a big umbrella to fit all of them under it

16. What do they argue about most?

making en do the chores. kin-chan being a snob. those can be kind of rough bc kin-chan is a bit of a classist dick u know so sometimes he unintentionally hurts en’s feelings and then the resultant argument gets kind of messy. kinshirou and en also have frequent arguments about art but they aren’t as emotionally charged

17. Which one is a secret snuggler?

kin-chan. en is an open snuggler. and out and proud snuggler

18. Which one offers their jacket to the other when they complain they feel cold?

atsushi, but kin-chan won’t take it. u keep urself warm, atchan!! en often says the same thing but if he’s really cold he’ll accept it a;ljsdf

19. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

atsushi. en remembers their favorites &c but not every single thing at every restaurant. kin-chan also remembers i think but he doesn’t let on, he just enjoys the feeling he gets when he’s right. it’s warm and fuzzy and also slightly triumphant lmao

20. Who reaches for the other one’s hand while driving?

en … tbh … kin-chan and atsushi are more conscious of road safety!!!! ..but sometimes if the road is straight they take en’s hand when he reaches out lmao

21. Who gets the window seat?

en. he wants to zzz. a couple of times early on kin-chan said no i want the window seat i want to watch the scenery but en was so annoying about not being able to zzz as easily that he just let him take it after that

22. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it say?)

ok this meme really is just like a bunch of questions from other memes all stitched together. this question confirms it. atsushi leaves the notes. they’re cute little cheerful things for kin-chan but they are an extra way for him to nag en-chan. also occasionally en leaves obnoxious things in kin-chan’s lunch if they’ve been arguing or he’s been teasing kin-chan and then kin-chan is mad all afternoon :D

23. Who wakes up first?

kin-chan

24. Who falls asleep while watching a movie?

all these questions about sleeping and waking up like are they even necessary here

25. Who’s prone to wearing socks indoors (or to sleep)?

my first thought was that maybe kin-chan has bad circulation, but he’s an archer… idk if that would help the circulation in his feet, but in any case i’ve changed my mind about that hc altogether. so probably atsushi if anyone

26. Who has bigger cravings?

…. en and kin-chan. possibly kin-chan feels it the most if he goes without tea but like en needs his manjuu ;;

27. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)?

atchan. kin-chan might tell en but he has faith in atsushi’s ability to remember for himself. (atsushi reminds everyone tho including kin-chan)

28. Who carries all the important documents while traveling?

kin-chan

29. Who sneaks in cookies in the shopping cart?

en a;sljkdf

30. Who cooks at 2 in the morning?

n .. o one. i was going to say this sounds like smth en would do but then i was like… why tf would en be awake at 2am…

31. Who gets extremely competitive playing Mario Kart?

…ok so here’s an image for u. en and atsushi are getting intense over mario kart and kin-chan comes in and kind of shakes his head at them but then en invites him to join in and won’t take no for an answer so kin-chan is like ugh fine. but he doesn’t really put any effort into it at first except then he comes in 12th place in the first race whereas en and atsushi come in 1st and 2nd and it is an insult to his pride so he’s like… ok. let’s do this. and en and atsushi are startled! but in the other races he makes it up to like ……….8th place maybe. …which still isn’t good enough for him but he chooses to be disgusted w/ the game rather than w/ himself

32. Who takes longer getting ready?

probably kin-chan? idk i don’t think en or atsushi put unusual effort into getting dressed/getting dressed up. kin-chan might take a little extra time to make sure he looks 100% classy and put together but even he’s not gonna spend an hour or even half an hour getting ready

33. Who likes doing the dishes?

???????????????? none of them. atsushi ends up doing them most often but that doesn’t mean he enjoys it

34. Who points at a dog when they see it?

… no one, but en is the one who says “ah a dog”. but! kin-chan is the one whose face quietly lights up the brightest at the sight of the cute animal. ..as long as it doesn’t get to close bc dogs are slobbery and undignified

35. Who’s prone to road rage?

…kin-chan. why can’t all these imbeciles follow basic traffic laws D

#kinatsuen #boueibu #kinshirou kusatsu #atsushi kinugawa #en yufuin #THIS TOOK LIKE A MONTH IM SORRY ANON #ask meme #asks #Anonymous

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