#fictional men would never

[throneofsapphics]

I’ve mostly dated women the last several years and I forgot how disappointing it is when a man can’t find the clit :/

#there’s only so much you can train them #fictional men would never #personal life #i will delete this later

[thefangirlphenomenon]

"if he has lost all of his earthly belongings, if he has gone bald, if he has nothing left - at least this man will still have his audacity." - my friend's response to a guy getting mad at me for rejecting him and sending me a 4 minute long whiny voice note

#fictional men would never #real life #fictional men are better #insecure men #hitting on #hit on #the audacity

[houseswife]

appreciation for the sheer melancholic fondness in wilson’s gaze at house during what he knows is the last normal interaction they’ll ever have; during the final comparatively trivial rant in which they don’t both have to pretend the world isn’t collapsing beneath their feet

#ITS SO FORLORN GODDAMNIT #it’s the way that he waited a few minutes just to savour the normalcy of it all #acting like his eyes aren’t glazed over as house jibes about hooker innuendos #rsl has to be a sociopath I swear because if this was ME acting out this shakespearen ahh tradgedy…. I would never recover #would literally have to move into the forest in order to contemplate the inevitability of all good things coming to an end #I’m juiced up if you can’t tell. and feeling TOTALLY normal about these fictional middle aged men. #house md #greg house #gregory house #hilson #james wilson #hatecrimes md #house/wilson #robert sean leonard

[stubbyartist]

personally I don’t think marcille is Aware she’s in love with falin/knows she’s a lesbian for Most if not all of the story. she’d walk to the ends of the earth and back for this girl, but can’t quite put her finger on the actual reason she doesn’t want her to be with shuro. her version of an “ideal man/partner” is a shoujo manga prince. this girl does Not Realize… but it’s there. it always has been.

#dungeon meshi #marcille donato #dunmeshi #farcille #marcille dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi marcille #thinking about repressed lesbian marcille always #when she realizes though? she’s a mess for days #marcille obsesses over fictional men but would never date one.. she’s just like me fr #dunmeshi hcs

[balkanradfem]

Do you ever think about how sad and messed up it is to grow up in this world as a little girl who likes to read. Because you are a child, and you don't get that there's a difference in who writes the books, you read everything you like, you read the adventures and the fantasy and the mysteries and the traumatic stuff and if you're also very isolated and lonely, these books build your worldview. Because why wouldn't they? They're written by humans, so they have the attitudes, opinions, perceptions, morals and spirits of human beings in them, they're telling you what humans think and feel about things, how they go about situations, what they imagine, what they desire. What your role in all this is, or what it could potentially be.

But, since you are not capable of differentiating the material, and you just read what is available to you, you end up reading a lot of books written by m*n. You also have to go thru the required reading at school - 90% written by m*n. And so slowly, since young age, without even socializing or learning it thru interaction, you find yourself in a world shaped by minds who do not have empathy for women, especially not for little girls. You find yourself relating to the male protagonists, but you also find out that girls only play a passive role in their stories. You find that m*n problems are centered, made important, their suffering and violence critical points in the story, while women are cast aside as helpers, servants, givers, caretakers, and generally just exist in the background, not a thought given to what they are going thru.

You learn thru books written by m*n, that your experience is secondary. Even if you cast yourself as the adventuring, immensely important and struggling protagonist, even then the other women in your mind end up being just background characters, caregivers who do not need a thought spared for their suffering.

Books written by m*n, even for children, will trivialize female suffering to the point where they shape the child's mind into one that looks at the world from a male perspective. Where women either don't matter, or are capable only of giving and aiding, to be cast aside for more important matters, such as male aspirations for their own lives.

Thinking back, I understand why I felt myself unimportant and trivial in any social setting - I understood my role from the written word, and I knew adults found me trivial, secondary, only a background figure to someone else's adventure or mission. As much as I could fight it in my fantasies, and make myself the main character, it felt like a pipe dream, like something that was incredible self-indulged and selfish and would never translate to reality.

I wish it had been different. I wish I had been introduced specifically and only to books written by women, for women. I wish I had found empathy for myself in those books. I wish I had found myself standing on high ground, equal ground, with other women, our desires centered, our lives translated into tales of epic importance - because that's what they are. I wish I had been born into a world where female perspective is available from the start, not after years of growing up and finding feminist literature and having to re-write my own role in my brain, from all of those years of reading male perspective as the default.

I don't think any little girl should be exposed to literature that shape her world as a place where she doesn't matter. I don't think books written by males and shaped by their worldview should be allowed into children's literature, or teenage or for young adults. Girls should not be learning from fiction that their most important value is empathy and understanding for male problems, and their second, to be desired and/or helpful to them, all while being treated as nothing but service and background noise until you're desired for something. We need to open books and find out that we matter too. That our lives can be the center of our existence, rather than being in the service of someone else's life.

#reading as a little girl #analysis of male written literature #radical feminism #feminism #worldview shaped by books #radfem #radblr #thinking of all of the books i absorbed in my childhood where women didn't matter :( #and how messed up thoughts i ended up having of trying to be helpful and useful in order to have value #but i would never have value #because i was a girl in a misognystic world #and the books were informing me of that #and all i wanted was a bit of escape from reality #fiction written by men is garbage :(

[cerise-on-top]

hi :D if you do character x character (with possibly x reader, too) headcanons, may i request nikprice hcs? aghh.. i love them so much, but there's (in my opinion) little content of them compared to other ships.. if you do have to add reader into it too thats okay :) i don't mind poly (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

but besides that how are you doing? i hope youre doing good :]

Hey there! I'm doing well, thank you! I've actually got five days off next week, which I'm really looking forward to! Plus I get to go to my regular department again too soon enough! But unfortunately, the other apprentice left me with so much work ^^;

NikPrice and NikPrice x Reader

NikPrice:

Although the two of them may be a bit older than some of their peers, they can still be considered idiots, especially when they’re with one another. Sometimes they get weirdly competitive with each other, which can result in either of them getting hurt. Nikolai leads Chimera and Price leads the TF141, both of them sometimes need to show off just how good they are at some things. Nikolai is usually a pretty calm guy, but he does get a bit cocky with Price, so he’ll instigate some competitions. Who can carry the most groceries. Who can find the most dogs and take pictures with them. Who will be favored the most for the week among their boys. It’s just dumb things, and Nikolai does try to cheat his way through most of them, but Price knows him well enough by now to know how he will try to weasel his way into victory. Price usually plays fair and forces Nikolai to do the same. The winner gets bragging rights and that’s about it. Sometimes they poker on who pays for dinner, but they don’t really mess around too much when it comes to more serious stuff. However, they both also compete with each other to show off just how good of a partner they are, even if there’s no need to do that anymore. They can both be proud as peacocks and always need to outdo one another.

Although it may sound stupid, the two of them do spar with each other from time to time. Since they’re about equal in strength it’s actually quite interesting to watch the two of them fight, both have a pretty good technique as well. However, Nikolai has more experience under his belt since he’s quite a bit older than Price. Again, he’s also not above cheating by trying to entice Price with just about anything he can think of. They’re adults, they’re leaders, but they are still morons with each other. Sometimes they fight over the TV remote when Price wants to watch his football game and Nikolai wants to tease him. Price gets mad every time he misses the football game just because he lost to his stupid lover. Nikolai gets a good laugh out of it every time. Although he may love Price more than anyone else, he can be a playful and cocky bastard at times. He makes up for it by taking Price to a real football game in a stadium, though. Can’t enrage the boyfriend too much all the time. Price is usually overjoyed when he does since he gets really into it. There’s nothing better than enjoying some football with Nikolai. Unless Nikolai teases Price about his team losing. In that case the two of them won’t be talking more than necessary for an hour. However, Price goes back to normal after the initial anger of his team losing has worn off.

Nikolai is actually a chef of the master class. He can cook just about anything and make it well at that too. Since he’s been pretty much everywhere at this point he’s learned quite a few recipes from all around the world. He also knows how to use his spices well. Though, his favorite recipes to make are still Russian ones. The two of them cook together often, it relaxes them. Besides, Price gets the privilege of eating Nikolai’s pirozhki before anyone else does. It’s an honor to him since he’s never had anything better in his life. Loves being Nikolai’s taste tester as well. Price isn’t as good a cook as Nikolai, but he does like showing his appreciation for all the good food by cooking something in return. However, his food is kind of bland. It could be worse, but it could also use a lot more spices. Nikolai used to tease Price about that before, but he’s stopped since as Price really does put a lot of effort into cooking for Nikolai. The latter really isn’t so mean to genuinely hurt his boyfriend like that. He does give Price some constructive criticism, though. Offers to help with cooking next time, but both of them know that Nikolai will just take the lead. But in the end, they both really do enjoy cooking with each other, regardless of who makes the main dish. They also get really chatty during it.

NikPrice x Reader

Considering how long they’ve been with each other, they've gotten used to it, but you genuinely cannot cuddle them during summer. You’ll become a sweaty mess and won’t be able to sleep at all since they’re both very warm. Nikolai more so than Price. However, the two of them can cuddle each other just fine since they’re used to warmer nights because of all the missions they’ve gone on. However, it’s pretty nice in winter. They’re two big, burly and warm men who love to make you feel toasty. Price is actually a pretty cuddly guy and Nikolai can be too with the right people. If you’re not on the cuddly side then they’ll settle for giving you a pat on the back every once in a while or just holding your hand. But Price loves touching you and Nikolai. He doesn’t need to do it every single waking moment, but it’s nice to hold your loved ones. Nikolai can go either way, but he’s pretty cuddly with Price. Sometimes the two of them fight over who gets to be the big spoon, other times they’ll just plop into each other’s arms. If you’re shorter than them then you’ll likely get sandwiched between them. If you’re as tall or taller than them then they might ask you to take on the role of big spoon. Sure, they won’t mind it when you’re shorter than them, but they’ll chuckle since you’re just a little backpack.

Both of them will try to teach you how to fight and defend yourself. Even if you’re capable of that already, they’ll teach you something anyway. They’re both military men, they know what they’re talking about. Besides, it’s not as unlikely as one might think that you might get hurt because of them. You need to be able to defend yourself. They’ll take turns teaching you, improving your form and all. They’ll sometimes even deliberately spar in front of you so you could learn something from them fighting with each other. They won’t be as rough with you as they are with each other, especially not if you’re not part of the military, but they’ll be diligent in teaching you either way. If you’re part of the military then they’ll be rougher with you, but not as rough as with each other. Nikolai and Price have known each other for so long, they know where each other’s limits are. You’re the newest addition, so there’s still things they need to get to know. But I can assure you they will take good care of you. They’ll also reward you if you’re doing especially well during your little training lessons. Nikolai tries to bribe you into doing well by offering to cook your favorite meal if you do so.

The two of them actually spoil you rotten, especially if you don’t earn as much money as they do. Nikolai earns even more money than Price, so he has quite a lot to spend. Loves buying you and him all kinds of things. These can range from something useful to just something he saw and thought you might like. Price doesn’t like being indebted to people, so he always tries to buy Nikolai something back, even insisting that he shouldn’t buy him as many things. Nikolai never listens to him in that regard. And since Price buys Nikolai things he has to buy something for you as well. Sometimes it’s just your favorite kind of cake, sometimes it’s some nice and expensive jewelry. It’s always a mystery with Price. You don’t have to feel obligated to buy them something either. You’re more than welcome to if you have the finances to do so, but if you usually barely get by then you really shouldn’t have to. In fact, if you don’t have a lot of money then the two of them will pay for just about anything you need. Clothes, food, other necessities. It doesn’t matter. Together they have more money than they know what to do with anyway. It’s nice to spend it on someone you love and make them happy anyway. Don’t pay them back, they’ll find your bank account and return the money. They love you, let them pamper you like the little royalty you are.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #john price #nikolai x reader #john price x reader #price x reader #nikprice #nikprice x reader #I never really thought about writing charxchar on this blog in all honesty #but I suppose I can do it if more requests like this come in :] I doubt it but I'm willing to do it #I loved working on this because they may be smart but they're also complete and utter dumbasses #they're smart when it counts let's leave it at that #I actually have thought about being in a relationship with NikPrice before but I sometimes throw Graves into the mix as well #there's nothing wrong about yearning to be in a relationship with some men who could buy you something nice #and who would actually love you #see fictional characters are actually really good because they will always love you if you want them to #ugh I wanna cuddle these idiots so bad which is funny because I'm actually touch averse 95% of the time #but I just know that a good thorough cuddle session from those men would put me in a really good mood

[chuckyray]

jelix gets so much hate and people act like it's truly problematic. It's so funny to me. you can hate its fans and not have to justify it with acting as if the ship itself is somehow offensive.

sorry y'all can't see the beauty in 70s repressed homosexual adultery and the consequences of it being tragedy. i forgot the kids these days haven't even seen brokeback mountain.

#also its just fiction guys this isnt real life men cheating on their wives lmfao these are some fictional dudes in an analog yt series #theyre like wahhhhhh he killed his kids and jack hates him now !!! yeah. now. are we disregarding the 20 years of friendship #where they built their dream company together? no ones saying that jack would fuck him post accident lmfao yall are just reaching #blah blah jack would NEVER do that to rose!!! first of all you dont actually know anything about him. #second of all people do shit you'd never expect all the time. even if they do love someone and are happy #also that one take where someone says the concept of jelix is inherently racist because jack is latino and felix is white so #that means jack is giving in to a white mans desires is insaneeee do yall hear yalls selves. like seriously listen to yourself. just once. #and its weird for you to tack actual racial issues onto a fictional ship that has NOTHING to do with that. #literally saw someone say that its perpetuating the white man desires and exotic latino stereotype and im sitting here like what. #what does that have to do with twf. yall just reaching. just say you dont like jelix and go. simple. #the walten files fandom is a joke atp. none of you should be watching this series yall arent mature enough yall cant even handle a ship #let alone a story centering around actual serious topics like childhood trauma and addiction and morally grey characters #rant over #twf #the walten files

[patcaps]

all the people wanting queer trauma porn who would’ve bet money on cap killing himself because he’s gay owe me £1000 btw. you fucking freaks

#suicide #suicide mention #since 2019 i have had to see these takes #and i’ve said all along they would Never do that to him #‘oh but historically men have done this’ ok but this is fiction #and comedy can have tragedy. so many of the other deaths are #and so is cap’s #but his death was terrible without it being directly caused by his sexuality #and shame surrounding it #you guys have been unbearable with it #quill to paper

[theygender]

Now that I've finally managed to put on some weight I've realized that when I wear a sports bra instead of just looking completely flat chested it kinda looks like I have pecs and now I am absolutely determined to get buff enough to make that a reality. All these years of being confused about why my dysphoria as a nonbinary person made me simultaneously upset that my boobs were too small and that I had boobs at all and it turns out that all I wanted all along was to have honkin men's tits but we just hadn't invented the concept of fat daddy milkers yet. Tumblr memes are helping me unlock new layers of gender

#honestly my shoulders are broad enough that it already kinda works but my arms are WEAK. spongebob looking mf #im still working on my upper body strength. lower body has always been easy for me but its ridiculously hard for me to gain upper strength #one day i WILL have muscles tho. i will be able to do at least one (1) pull up. that is my end goal #and if i end up with some bazonkers male bazongas thats just a nice bonus #this realization occurred after i already realized that the reason i like and also dislike being called babygirl #is bc i actually want to be called babygirl in a man way. like the way tumblr users say it about their unhinged fictional men #im unlocking genders that would never before have been possible #rambling

[sapphic-agent]

Since I made a post for the girlies, here are some of my best boys. They don't get to be pinned though

ETA: FUCK I FORGOT LOID AND KURAPIKA

#izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #bow she ra #yuji itadori #itadori yuuji #armin arlert #tanjiro kamado #kamado tanjiro #monkey d luffy #kurapika #loid forger #it's not a coincidence that they're all sunshine boys #the one exception is kurapika #i would die for him #my sister and her messy ass relationships ruined toxic fictional men for me #you will never catch me simping for eren or light #i do like eren as a character tho

[viihoff]

Yes I am a bisexual, I love women and Astarion Bouldergay or whatever

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #text post #I think I can only fall for fictional men #and real women #like I never had a relationship with a man when I would not a have a shit aftertaste in my mouth #women on the other hand? #the sweetest fucking relationships EVER #I don’t want to fix a bad boy irl I want my gf to read my fics about it

[thjslove]

#the truth about the harry quebert affair #la vérité sur l'affaire harry quebert #ttathqaedit #patrickdempseyedit #patrick dempsey #harry quebert #mine #* #1x01 #i've never truly wanted to watch greys anatomy but if I had wanted to it would have been for him #hot girl summer ? more like middle-aged man accused of inappropriate relationship with a 15 year-old summer #i am never beating the 'mostly attracted to fictional men allegations' #and yeah i have been spending too much time on twitter/yt again and talk in their manner and expressions help

[crow-in-springtime]

You know what? Fuck this, fuck you *aromanticizes your classical heroine*

#this is specifically about ophelia. because think about it all this debate over whether or not hamlet loved her and none over whether she #loved hamlet. I do think she loved him but not in a romantic way. think about it! she goes mad over her fathers death and all the abuse #she’s suffered at the hands of men not just because hamlet rejected her. and need I remind you she was the one originally rejecting him in #that scene. everyone is so focused on what hamlet’s true feelings are that we never really learn what ophelia thought or felt. #“made many tenders of his affection to me” “I do not know my lord what I should think” “madam I wish it may” #“madam I wish it may” because it would be such an easy solution! because if all that’s needed to cure hamlet’s madness is ophelia’s love #then it will be easy to fix! then hamlet no longer has to suffer and they can be together! so then why does that line feel so resigned? #we’re told by everyone that hamlet is in love with ophelia and from that we just assume she must be in love with him too. #anyway. aromantic bisexual ophelia for the win. thank you for coming to my TED talk. #ophelia #hamlet #shakespeare #classic literature #aromantic #(ky attempts to figure out if she is aromantic by talking about fictional women. more at 8) #ky’s gallery

[undrthelights]

i was unfortunately distracted by a man for awhile there and uh……. not a fictional one (wtf is actually wrong with me) but i’m ready to be fully committed to my fictional men again so 🥰

#let the delusions begin again #and the fics #also why do men always fumble like….. please i can’t do this again #the fictional men in my head would never

[petrichorium]

Having a child is gojo’s greatest fear for much of his life. But then you show up. You fix that! He’s not scared of just bringing a baby into the world anymore!

Because suddenly the hypothetical woman he might impregnate is you, and that terrifies him more than anything else in the world.

#it’s horrifying to him #bringing a kid into this world w the pressures he grew up with #but then……. well. he loves you. more than those hypothetical children—you’re real. you’re his. #he would do anything to guard you from harm. if he was the cause of it he would never forgive himself #pattering on the roof #me and my list of fictional men who fundamentally view impregnation as violence ♥️ #feminist kings in the truest sense #no children #char.🌧 gojo #VIC IF U SEE THIS SEND ME AN ASK AND ILL ELABORATE THANK U

[lucy-ghoul]

................. not to rain down on anyone's parade but barely characterized 14 year old lucerys could never have the swag eleanor or henry had

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #again you do you per carità i'm not here to judge anyone's taste because then i'd be a fucking hypocrite #but this still made me laugh #maybe because i never really understood the hype around luke/aemond. i mean i get it on a intellectual level #but there are so many juicier pairs in hotd that while i understand why people would ship it i'm not sure why it's so popular #no hate to the pairing or anything of course. you can ship whatever you want! #but this reeks of the usual inflated m/m ship with one (or two) fictional men with weak or barely acknowledged characterizations #while incredibly complex female characters (at least in comparison) are JUST THERE #again this is not a hate post about the ship or slash pairings (OBVIOUSLY!!) #but still. in any case the eleanor/henry dynamic fits better with rhaenicent or maybe daemyra tbh #like... even when i love a ship with all my heart i wouldn't assign *every* possible au to them but only those who fit their characters bes #if my otp is a etl ship i wouldn't want to read or write a childhood friends to lovers au because what i like about them #is that they fucking hate each other's guts and perpetually try to kill the other (before falling in love... and sometimes even after) #if a pairing is more p&p like i really couldn't get into a wuthering heights au even if i'd recognize it's magnificently written #because that's not what these characters and their dynamic are. it would be projection #at this point i would prefer to read/write about two ocs ngl #again in fandom you can do whatever you want i'm no one and i could never tell you what you can or can't like. that'd be ridiculous #and idw the op of that post to feel bad about it. it's just my personal preference/opinion on fanworks that's all #val speaks #val rambles in the tags #txt