#except kind of it’s true…

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[jimgandolfini]

my boss’ boss friend requested me on Facebook… this is so funny to me I simply cannot take it… this man has no boundaries…

#i’m dying #he’s obsessed with me #no not really I am only fooling you all… #except kind of it’s true… #like if I listed out all the scenarios I’ve been in with him without context…. #granted I’m FB friends with my actual boss #but that’s different okay #the other day when he greeted me with a happy ‘hey stranger!’ when I do not work in the same office as him to begin with yet it had only #been like four days since I was there.. again I was like 🤨 um hello 😂 #anyway he’s kind of an attractive old man so I should definitely not accept this request 🙃🙃 #I never go on anymore anyway. I was just checking an organizations page and saw the notification but jokes on him #bc he will hate my politics

[lipt-97]

came back just to post these. okay bye

#gbf #belifaa #did you get triple zero (summon)? the sanfaa scissoring summon? SSS? i sierotixed it. It was awesome. Everythung in gbf is going right for #e except for the fact that i had to sieroticket it but its alright. just the notion of so much lucilius is just enough to put me back on my #feet again it’s almsot unreal how much lucilius-centric stuff theyve pushed out the past few months. his GBVSR debut. his summon. #Omg when I saw the gbfes fashion show i was a few seconds behind zen and she told me “You wont believe this” and I was like “WHAT? BELIEVE #WHAT? WHAT? WHAYT DO YOU MEAN” and the official lucilius cosplayer walked out in his robes it felt unreal unreal like it was seeing my onl #dreams come true after years and years of being like Theres no way they’d do that. There’s no way they’d make a cosplay for lucilius in his #robes because hes in his void outfit forever. BUT THEY DID…..AND THERE WAS BLOOD UNDER HIS SKIN….AND HIS LIPS WERE GLOSSED…AND HE HAD A LIT #LE BIT OF TAREME AND TSURIME (TARIME) ACTION ON HIS EYES AND EVERYTIME HE WALKED HIS ROBES KIND OF FLUTTERED AS HE SHUFFLED ALONG I HAD TO #SIT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR lay down on the bathroom floor and I almpst puked from how nauseous it made me i was OVERJOYED BEYOND MY PHYSICAL #LIMITATIONS OF HAPPINESS . I WAS SO HAPPY. THIS YEAR HAS BEEN UTTERLY MISERABLE FOR ME AND I HAVE NOT BEEN THIS DEPRESSED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL #BUT SEEING LUCILIUS like this genuinely blew me off my socks . I don’t know if i should be 100% thankful because I’ve been trying to figure #out how to balance my emotional state with the media i consume but #I think i really needed it. thank you lucilius for ending my 2023

[heisttheblackflag]

one of my favorite things about Jeremy is that any time he’s setting up a lobby he makes sure to include a high proportion of women. like, any lobby above 4/5 people, he’s basically guaranteed to have at least 1/3 - 1/2 of the lobby be women. he’s the only non-woman streamer I watch that has that high of a proportion; most male streamers include at least one woman per lobby, and they will have lobbies with a high percentage of women, but from my very unscientific observations Jeremy has more women in his lobbies more consistently than basically all of them and it makes me so happy every time.

#chilled may have his optics joke but Jeremy is out here inviting basically every woman he knows every week and it’s amazing #I kind of want to do an actual count lol but just from like. watching court’s and knovis’ vods #most lobbies (at least among us) they’re one of maybe three women from every male streamer except Jeremy #so. hell yeah #jeremy dooley #dooleynotedgaming #Jeremy #original #we love a true feminist

[crepusculum-rattus]

this is stupidest thing i’ve done with 2 minutes

#except bugza has always been my best friend #bc… bugs <3333333 #antza is so fucking funny though #i know ants aren’t true bugs. but insectza doesn’t sound as good as bugza #and i am all for all kinds of bugs for bugza <3 not just ant <3 #philza #🐀 #antza

[carefulfears]

thinking about my post on fire and the levels of mistreatment that mulder accepts and how 1,000% on purpose it is as a result of being blamed for samantha’s abduction since childhood. and how that was the point of making him feel responsible for her disappearance in the first place.

when CSM said “i created mulder” it rings true in many ways, but perhaps the most sinister is the joint effort to break down someone he watched play outside the summer house as a child, someone who was once the 1-year-old whose first words they laughed over, into someone who could be the kind of hero and foil that he craves for his own story.

it’s why CSM gave him scully, took her away, gave her back again. gave her a terminal illness, let it kill almost all of her, then healed her for no reason other than to beg belief in his miracles.

it’s the reason why mulder was left home alone “in charge” that night and the reason why 20 years later his father said “do you realize what this will do to your mother?” and watched him sob apologies.

it’s the reason why he doesn’t flinch when his mother hits him and he doesn’t flinch away from the empty relationships with women who are just like her and he doesn’t own a bed. it’s the reason why he runs in front of cars and into suicide missions on military facilities and jumps onto trains with bombs on them. it’s the reason why he can’t do anything more with scully than kiss her cheek on her deathbed.

because you might not be able to kill one man’s religion without turning it into a crusade, but you can make sure he never belongs anywhere further than at your feet.

#except he’s still SO FUCKING NICE!!!! #like he’s so unbelievably kind to everyone #which the project didn’t expect or account for #the battle between the conditioning of the world you were raised in and the person you actually are/want to be #this show transcended occasionally #this is why y’all are nasty calling him dumb for sticking beside phoebe and diana btw #and that’s not even just me being a defensive apologist #it’s just true #because what else is he meant to do??? when he’s been intentionally made to feel that he deserves it #txf #kae meta

[magpiing]

do you think he listens to mcr

#finally played thru true pacifist (except for a tiny bit at the end) yesterday! #and felt inspired to draw mettaton after looking at some cool art :] #kind of wonky anatomy but oh well yk #magpi art #undertale #mettaton

[gamebunny-advance]

Random Question Time (Side A)

Note: This question is more about "feeling" than the strict and literal definitions of their relationship. It's clear that they're all based on the same model of robot and are manufactured by the same machine, and are thus all related by that. This question is asking how you think their relationship functions in human terms.

See the sister poll to vote on Neon J.'s relationship with 1010.

#gbunny polls #nsr #no straight roads #1010 #nsr 1010 #my prediction is that the majority are gonna think of them all as siblings #but i'm curious if more people think they're quintuplets or staggered #if you've been here long enough then you know that my headcanon is convoluted and all over the place #but to recap: #white views himself as a father to the other 4 due to his programming being the base for every 1010 and he steps in when NJ can't/doesn't #the rest don't treat him like a father figure most of the time but they also don't quite treat him like a 'true' brother either (except red #they treat him with respect and authority and even camaraderie on occasion but he's still an 'other' to most of them #red is the eldest brother but treats white as an equal and mediates between him and the younger 1010s #blue is the second brother (and victim of middle child syndrome) #he's closest with red but he knows that red is closer to white so blue is kind of a loner #Green and Yellow are the youngest twins (yellow is slightly older but green is generally more mature) #despite all this they're all programmed to be the same age #though their 'true' ages vary wildly

[wavebiders]

complaints like "my character wouldn't do this" about key elements of an optional narrative are always so weird to me like what do you mean not everyone treats their first playthrough of an RPG as a rough draft to use to figure out what kinda character would best suit their preferred storyline and love interest?

#am I just weird? #I come up with concepts but I don't get a true feel for my character until at the very least halfway through a first pt #and it's not until the second pt I can fully flesh them out #bg3 was kind of exceptional for me in that the concept I had come up with for Tav worked incredibly well with how I went through the story #and with Shadowheart's romance in particular #so much so that I barely had to change anything #but I was still filling in details and expanding on stuff #that's half the fun it's like colaborative storytelling with what the game has to offer #bg3 #like if I was romancing Astarion Id be either an evil mofo or some naive fool not seeing through his tricks #or even a selfish neutral Tav like the one I already have just manipulating him back #but those are just a few options of course #I just can't imagine his romance being any fun if you're playing an emotionally mature Tav that instantly zeroes in on his trauma #and refuses to take advantage of him #that's just removing most of the story beats

[cowboy-robooty]

another day another divine vision. let me tell you about italys entitlement to love pipeline. so see italy loves to sleep around he loves da ladies da one night stands and most certainly aint about that commitment bullshit. it isnt out of malice or anything its just he cant really see the appeal hes like bruhhhh that is SO not worf it :/ blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... and like holy rome was when he was 7 okay that doesnt really count since when italy was 7 he also used to believe girls couldnt fart a lot of things were different at that time. but see i think italy is able to fall in love with germany despite his commitment issues because he also has a raging sense of entitlement. italy is the opposite and exactly the same as romano. romano is possessive as shit because hes the unloved brother that got nothing so when he gets something he hoards it to himself while italy is entitled as shit because hes the ultra loved by everyone child and always wins out in the end so he feels like he deserves everything at the end of the day. he isnt a bad guy but hes a bit of a spoiled brat to his core because of this since he can easily feel entitled to things after a while. and see italys love for germany hinges upon that entitlement being activated.

because germany is fully devoted to italy hes fucking obsessed with him he will and does do anything for him if italy asks him twice (sometimes thrice). germany will let italy ruin his life every single fucking day and still comes back crawling for more. hell be like italy this is the last fucking straw do NOT EVER fuck up my car again and the italy will destroy it literally the next day and germany will be mad for 30 seconds before sighing and going "well its okay. but im serious this time dont do it EVER aga-" **repeat for the next one million years**. and italy is very aware of this and honestly germanys undying loyalty and shit is why theyre able to stay together. because germany will always accept italy into his arms whenever italy comes running to him even if he also is sticking grenades into his back pockets and wiping his hands on germany's shirt while doing this he will always be like "... come here italy". and i think italy really realizes that germanys always going to take care of him wether hes on the losing side or not and even if hes with germany on the losing side everybody on the winning side likes italy already so theyre not going to really punish him fr so its overall better to lose with germany than win with everyone else since the winning side is going to make him actually do shit. Italys always with germany but if germany actually gave italy consequences depending on how severe these are he would actually leave germany rather than deal with them if he found it too much of a hassle to deal with. And this is how i believe their relationship is like for a very very very long time like for basically the entirity of the anime so far even like italy saw germany about to die and did not even grant him his last wish of smiling for him because he was like errrm! sorry dude but im looking out for me!

but i think this is able to morph into love because over time italy unconciously starts feeling entitled to germany. germany is so loyal and always there for him so hard that italy starts to feel entitled to this treatment because no matter what he does no matter how scum gong or batshit he can be germany will always see him as a perfect angel who could never have ill will (and only kills him out of incompetence) and welcomes him with open arms. italy starts to feel like germany is SUPPOSED to be with him. that it isnt right if germany isnt because italy is entitled to him already obviously and this is why italy starts developing jealousy and is like wtf germany is supposed to like ME most! Its unconcious and he doesnt really think about it too hard but his entitlement slowly grows over time and although it makes him be like GERMANY YOU CANT LIKE RUSSIA MORE THAN ME!!!! it still leaves him being selfish where he leaves germany to die by pictonians lol. the entitlement is able to morph into love though because it becomes so strong that italy one day realizes that hell feel so much intense discomfort if germany isnt by his side. he feels like germany is supposed to be with him hes supposed to like italy best and always pamper and spoil him and be obsessed only with italy and let only italy do special things nobody else can do. and it keeps growing until he realizes what he feels is love. because he realizes that there isnt anything he can think of thats worth more than his relationship with germany. he feels so entitled to germanys life that hes willing to give his own life up to keep their lives intertwined forever. hes willing to give up his freedom in exchange for germanys loyalty since now he cant see himself enjoying his life without it. its become such a common pleasure that its impossible to go on unless he has it. even if not being able to screw as he pleased will make him deeply unhappy, not having germany by his side would make him infinitely more unhappy. he might hate doing shit for people, but he would hate germany being hurt and alone 1000x more than how much he hates getting his ass up and doing him a favor. and THATS how italy realizes that he is so very totally in gays with germany chan forever since hes willing to do anything to keep him in his life and lucky for him he doesnt have to do anything except make their loyalty mutual. hashtag itager babywin!

#robooty kun #robooty bible #i dunno if i ezplained this one well #but yeah italys love is tricky tricky its a fickle and weird thing #but it definitely is true by the end of its formation #and den itari confesses to germany and they date forever and ever and get marrrieeedd! #i loveee germany having a onesided crush for freaking ever until italy realizes hes kinda about that gay shit #germanys love is a lot more simple. italy is his first friend and he likes that italy never has bad intentions towards germany (thats what #germany thinks) and italy makes him feel happy for the first time since everybody wants him to kill himself except italy and his brother #(literally canonically with the buon san valentino manga where germanys like waow... ive never been happy before because everyone hates me #but italy makes me happy because he doesnt hate me and is nice to me and likes me) #germany is kind of an idiot and luckily never realizes his idea of angel no bad intentions ever italy isnt exactly real #they just luckily click at the right time and everything works out forever and forever AMEN!

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[pokimoko]

hiii--- i know you mostly post/write about other fandoms but i just want to say that graceful degradation is probably one of THE best fics ive read of all time and i love it so so so much, it had me screaming into my pillow at like 2 in the morning. its such a unique and creative take on his backstory and the ANGSSTTT. oh my god...u are a genius

Thank you so much!!! Portal 2 was something I never imagined myself writing for, but I'm very glad I did, because writing that fic was a blast. It came out of my fondness for 'Flowers For Algernon' (which I read many years ago but has been stuck in the back of my mind ever since) and my need for a Portal fic that suited my particular niche of interests (which included, of course, my dear old friend angst). I'm so glad to hear you think of it so highly! That really means a lot 🥰

#ask #wheatley #wheatly portal 2 #portal 2 #portal #my fanfic #my fanfiction #I'm pretty sure i know who sent this so thank you very much for reccing the story to others. that was delightful to see :D #and yeah unfortunately i am very much a throw a fic grenade into the fandom and then run off kind of writer #(with some exceptions) #i don't imagine I'll be writing any more portal fanfic in the future but i am very proud of the one that i did do :) #it was really fun writing in a more humourous style than usual (in what ironically is one of my most devastating fics) #(which i suppose is very fitting to the nature of the portal games themselves. a true comedy of horrors) #if you're looking for other great portal fics i have to recommend you the OG good portal fic: Blue Sky by wafflestories (fanfic.net) #if you haven't already of course. there's a reason it's famous (that is to say wow it's good) #it was big inspiration behind me writing my own portal story #anyway! thank you again 100× over! i truly do appreciate your words 💜

[andthebeanstalk]

Yo I don't know if anyone else is seriously bothered by this but those "good luck" posts where everyone goes wow this post really works you HAVE to reblog it or else you won't get the good thing that happens when you reblog it and therefore it's your fault if the good thing doesn't happen because you didn't reblog the post,

Yeah, those posts. They don't ummmmmmmmm

They don't work.

Like, listen, a little prayer of good luck to give yourself hope is one thing, but every single one of these posts has a comment that is like "this is literally magic I received life-altering amounts of money because of this post REBLOG THIS NOW." And assuming these accounts aren't just also the original poster emotionally manipulating people - And brushing over how foolish/cruel it feels to give false hope and additional tasks to those in poverty AND moving on from how absolutely shitty these posts are for people with compulsion-related disorders or difficulty discerning reality--

it feels to me that the more we make up magic that doesn't exist in this world, the harder it is to see how things really are, and the more it obscures from us the magic that actually does exist. Things like magnetism, electricity, human thought and connection, emotion, storytelling, machinery, fire. That's the sort of magic we have in this world. These magics are real and they can be manipulated in miraculous and terrible ways.

And maybe it's just the way my mind works, but if I am able to convince myself that a photo of a four-leaf clover has any amount of cosmic power over my life, then I am no longer looking clearly at my situation and what I need to do to change it. I am no longer able to truly see the magic that IS there.

I feel the same way about astrology honestly. I don't think it's bad to believe in as long as you're not ascribing it to unwilling people, but I personally do feel like if I believed the shapes the Romans saw in the stars made me who I am, then not only would I deny myself autonomy, but also I would miss out on the magic of the stars as huge lonely nuclear light giants indifferent to and ignorant of the lives of humans in terrifying and beautiful ways. I might even dismiss scientific discoveries that didn't fit my view. And I think I've seen enough of the damage that can do for one lifetime. (I am aware that I probably wouldn't have so many problems with astrology if I wasn't a furious ex-Catholic. But again, there's nothing wrong with faith as long as you're not slapping it onto other people.)

But, gods, I hate these fucking good luck posts.

I am not poor due to the stars or the lack of luck-money posts on my dashboard. I am poor because I live in oppressive power structures that I hope to see burn in my lifetime. I need as clear a view of this reality as possible.

If you want to spread positive magic, you have to spread love and information and images/stories of a beautiful shared future that other people are invited to be a part of.

I'm a big believer in Hope. I believe hope is a sacred thing. But I'm not a big fan of false hope.

So in conclusion, if you reblog this post and then tomorrow something very lucky and seemingly unrelated happens, it had nothing to do with this post.

The only Magic will be the magic of unfathomably huge amounts of data transferring all across the world instantaneously to reach you and show you words that came from someone else's heart and mind.

The only Magic will be however it makes you feel to know that if you need luck, at least one other person in this world wants good things to happen to you: I care that you are found. I care that you are loved. I care that you are safe. I care that you live long enough to find or be found by happiness and that you then live for a very long time after that. And I don't need to meet you to know that I'm right.

Know that I will spend the rest of my life working to build spaces where you would be welcome. And maybe you and I will never meet, but I happen to know there's a whole lot of people like me in this world. And I happen to know that as long as you are alive, there is a chance you will grow old in warmth and comfort, surrounded by friends. There is a chance that your old eyes will be crinkled at the sides with laugh lines. And that's magic. That's real magic.

#original #if I'm honest I think I made some of these points better in the tags of that one post I have about the cake #but clearly I'm processing something so #hopepunk #cripple punk #cripplepunk #good luck #magic #you have no idea how much I wish other types of magic existed cuz I really want to be a wizard but that doesn't mean there's no magic #i want Magic Missile but all I have is an autistic drive to see things without ambiguity. XD #too much false hope can kill a person. it's so irresponsible to spread false hope. spread real hope. tell the fucking truth. #there are things in this world worth hoping for. real things. tell someone they are worthy of good things. that's hope. that's good luck. #it's actually quite lucky to be unexpectedly told kind and true things. like finding $20. except my poor ass can actually provide it #not tagging this with astrology so people are less likely to yell at me lol #there's probably a better version of this post in which I cut a lot of the bitching at the start but hey I needed to bitch #it's my right as a hot bitch. #edit: ALSO another thing this reminds me of is how a lot of white women who practice witchcraft really want to believe that they #at some point in history were a persecuted minority. 'we are the great-great-granddaughters of the witches you didn't burn!' #like sorry no there have been no witches burned and no witches hung the horror of it all is that they were just normal women #white people are not the great great granddaughters of witches. we are the great great grandchildren of slave owners. #any narrative that leads us to forget that is extremely suspect.

[ozonecologne]

banger text from my brother today

#so true bestie #about #not spn #except... it kind of is about spn

[crimeronan]

very pleased that i haven't gotten any comment pushback on ao3 about AU camila referring to hunter as being in love with luz / being her wolfmate. i know it's because 99% of the readership follows me here and has seen me talk about their dynamic ten thousand times already but. i also like the idea of the average reader being like "honestly..... it would be weird if camila DIDN'T think he's in love with her."

#because that's true. also he kind of is in love with her theyre just not fucking about it because i get bored. #codependent nonsense is more fun when fucking about it actually WON'T fix it. u know #you get the feeling of like. it's like. mutual pining except it's not it's just being in love in a weird platonic freak way #i wrote almost exclusively pale romance for homestuck for SEVEN STRAIGHT YEARS. some things imprint on your BLOOD #toh #princess luz au #horrible mindscape trauma pals #camila noceda

[itspileofgoodthings]

sorry that taylor swift’s music points like an arrow straight at profound moral truths that make me go insane

#I am NOT sorry I am so glad #does she know the full implications of that in her practical experience of life? No. #but no one has a richer moral imagination #she always knows in her bones that something is wrong when it’s wrong #and part of her is never healed and will never be healed except by the grace of God #which is true for (truly) all of us #But I mean many things that are a temporary salve for lots of the common folk don’t work for her #she’s built too honestly #Which is why she can write would’ve could’ve should’ve at 32 and have it be just as raw #and that’s the long memory and imagination but it’s also because that wound never healed right #the stuff that needed to happen to make it right never happened #Like an exorcism. #NO I’m KIDDING SORRY AKDKJSJSJSJEHEHEH #but like. the other stuff. the right stuff. not just the human elements of healing but the spiritual ones #(Also I do kind of love that Taylor is too singular for even the human ones) #(She will NEVER go to therapy and there is something so funny about that) #I’m rambling #but like. Feeling many things