Fic: Every Journey (2/2)
Chapter 2: Begins and Ends with You
Summary: Written for Evan Buckley week 2020, day 7's free choice and for @buckleyevan, who requested Eddie watching Buck asleep, with softness and fluff. I hope you enjoy it, darling! xoxox
Eddie writes a letter on his mobile phone to a sleeping Buck.
This chapter can be read separately from chapter 1 (which is Buck's letter to Eddie) or together, with Eddie's letter having been written first out of the two.
My couch after a long shift. That’s where you crash way too often, Buck. Or after an evening spent together, when we’ve chatted over beers. The first time was fatigue and miserable planning on both our parts. But now it’s a habit, a natural extension of our lives and it would be weird if I’d glance over and not see you sleeping there. If I didn’t have the excuse of covering you up with a thin blanket to get a closer look.
Rating: Teens and up
Thank you again to the darling @toughpaperround for the beta!
Also to @oneawkwardcookie whose suggestion made me connect Haley's prompt to a previous ficlet to make both richer. Thank you, hon! ;)
You can always say hi, drop me a question, some feedback or a prompt!
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Waves of Emotion
Ao3 | 1.1k
Day 5: “Stay with me.” + comfort – Empath AU – Buck has never told anyone that he's an empath, that changes when he has to keep his long-standing pizza night schedule with Chris even after an emotionally exhausting day.
There is one part of Buck’s life that he’s never mentioned to anyone before in his life, the funny thing about it is that it’s so blatantly obvious to anyone who knows him, but the thing is even they don’t truly know the full extent of it.
He’s an empath. Not just a person who can convey empathy to another being, but someone who has the innate ability to sense and feel another’s emotions (even the masked one) and take them on as their own. If he’s not careful, the people around him severely affect his moods whether they be positive or negative emotions and all he wants to do is help them, just so he can feel less.
It’s something that he never knew as a child and many people in his life just labeled him as someone who had a sensitive and fragile soul. It wasn’t until later in life that he heard the term empathy and looked it up himself, it was from there that he discovered the indicators of an empath, which most if not all rang true to him.
It took him a long time to figure out how best to set boundaries for himself, to not let himself get overwhelmed by the emotions of others. The thing is though is that even now, he forgets, it doesn’t happen all the time, but it seemed to be a reoccurring theme ever since he started his journey as a firefighter. The more the team became like a family to him, the harder it was for him to maintain those boundaries.
So, when he came into work, immediately Buck could tell that something was off. It didn’t take him much to figure out the reason for it after occupying the same space with Hen for only a few minutes. Outwardly she seemed fine, but he could feel waves of worry coming off her.
When he gets the chance, Buck selects from his locker one of Hen’s favourite candy bar from the collection he keeps in there for everyone and gently nudges her with his elbow before indicating with his head for her to follow him.
All he gets from Hen is a quizzical look, but she follows him, nonetheless. Once they’re out of sight and earshot in the loft he turns to her, presenting the chocolate bar from behind his back, eliciting a puzzled expression from Hen.
“Just something to cheer you up, and if there’s anything you want to talk about it, I’m all ears.” He offers earnestly.
Hen’s brow knits in confusion as she accepts the chocolate, “I didn’t say anything was wrong.” She murmurs half to herself before addressing Buck, “How did you know?”
Buck shrugs, “I don’t know, I just had a feeling something was up.”
“Well, thank you,” Hen sighs and takes a seat at one of the nearby tables, “My aunt is sick, and they took her to the hospital last night. We’re not entirely sure how bad it is yet but from the sounds of it, it didn’t sound good.”
Buck sidles up to Hen and wraps an arm around her shoulder, “If she shares some of the same fighting genes as you. I’m sure she’ll be okay.”
Hen smiles softly, “That she does. Thanks, Buck.” Buck could sense a change in her mood after that, the worry feeling less constrictive.
They don’t get any more time to think on it, because after that, their shift was nearly a continuous stream of calls. Unfortunately for Buck, he’d let down his wall that morning, not expecting the day he was going to have with most of the calls wrought with so many emotions with some of them involving crowds which just overwhelmed him with their energies.
By the time their shift had ended, Buck felt wrung out, unable to distinguish his own emotions from that of the ones that he was bombarded with throughout the shift. All he wanted to do was go home and bundle himself up in his bed, away from the rest of the world to recharge.
He thinks this as he lethargically packs away his gear and gets changed out of his uniform. Not paying attention to the others around him as they leave for the night. He moves on autopilot, arriving at home, immediately throwing on his most comfortable house clothes, not remember what night it was tonight.
That is, until, the father and son let themselves in, pizza boxes balanced neatly in Eddie’s hand as he holds them high enough that they don’t get knocked by Christopher who made a beeline to Buck.
Internally, Buck rouses himself, putting on a mask, remembering he still had their longstanding fortnightly tradition to hang out together at the request of Christopher. Not wanting to disappoint the young Diaz, Buck grin at the two of them, not missing the small downturn of Eddie's lips as he turns his full attention onto Chris who was telling him all about his week.
Buck could tell Eddie wanted to say something, but Chris manages to beat him to it, “Are you alright Bucky?” He asks, concern permeating the room.
How could he explain to a child that the exhaustion wasn’t just physical or mental but emotional? unable to properly explain exactly what was going on with him, he simplifies it instead and says, “I’m fine bud, just tired is all.”
“We can always cut tonight short if you want to turn in early,” Offers Eddie considerately to which he politely declines, stating that it felt like forever since he’d seen Chris even though he’d seen him only a few days ago.
In truth, Buck usually recharged emotionally in solitude, recovering his own senses as he rebuilt his walls. But somehow, having Eddie and Chris there didn’t seem to drain him further, it was nice, it was comforting, making how he felt less heavy and distracting him from it.
He’s thankful that it’s a Friday night, leading into a day off on Saturday, it meant that Eddie and Chris could stay for as long as they wanted without any repercussions for the next day. Chris ended falling asleep on the couch between them and Buck offered up his bed without a second thought.
The rest of the night he ended up closer to Eddie, closer than he would let himself on a normal day, but today he needed his own comfort and it seemed Eddie was willing to provide it pulling him closer for Buck to rest his head on his shoulder.
The line between friendship and something more seemed to blur that night in the glow of the warm lamplight, with neither parties ready to acknowledge what this moment might mean for them. At least until Buck whispered wistfully, “stay with me.”
And Eddie did for the rest of that night no questions asked. It’s after that night that Buck decides that it was about time he told someone of this aspect of his life, and that’s what he does.
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