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gyusfavlibra · 3 years

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YOU MAY NOT COPY OR REPOST MY WORK ANYWHERE!!!

This is a imagine I made on my Wattpad that hasn't been released yet so I posted it here. @ivnasfilm is my wattpad btw!

Warnings: Fluff? Smut? Sexual interactions, language, cockblocking, Ward Cameron mentions, grinding, mentions of sex

••••

"Are your parents home?"

"No, they're at Thornton's for a couple hours."

"Sarah and Wheezie, too?"

"Yes," Rafe replied to his questioning girlfriend, Y/n. The duo have been dating for a year now. Y/n has been inside Rafe's house many times. She met him through her brother Kelce. He was pretty worried about it at first, but eventually Kelce would've had to get over it because Y/n is 18. She's a legal adult. She can do whatever the hell she wants.

They got closer by attending parties together, spending days at the country club, golf course. Sometimes even just sitting and talking at the beach. It was more than enough for both of them and they enjoyed it all. They made it official by attending Midsummers together. It was a pretty big deal to them since every single Kook would now know that Rafe Cameron officially had a girlfriend.

The first time she met Sarah, they hit it off pretty well. Did sleepovers, painted nails, read magazines about hot guys. Basically girly stuff. Even took fun trips on the Cameron's boat to get away from their boyfriends. They became best friends and truly loved each other's company.

Just like Rafe enjoyed Y/n's.

"Sooo, can I come inside?"

He leant his head back against the car seat. Staring at the girl who was sitting in the driver side of her vehicle. "Can you come inside?"

"Yeah, or- do you want me to?"

The mood in the car lightened as their talk became less questioning and more seductive. Y/n leaning over the center console, her breath hitting Rafe's face in all the ways he likes. Her hand reached over, brushing against his thigh.

"Do I even have to answer that?"

She shook her head at the Cameron before connecting their lips. Softly and gentle was how it was starting off, before Rafe placed his hand onto the zipper of her jeans.

"Not in here. Let's go inside."

"Okay."

The couple exited the car, Y/n making sure to lock it, and headed inside the house. Rafe using his own key to get indoors. They ran up the steps to Rafe's room, shutting the door behind them. Y/n removed her maroon crew neck, sitting herself on Rafe's bed as he removed his t-shirt.

He gently pushed her down sliding his heavier body between her legs. Leaving little kisses from her chest and up. He knew better than to give her hickeys on the neck because of Kelce so he avoided that.

His hand ran itself up and down her waist, giving it a small squeeze. They liked skin pressure. Tension. They began moving upwards, pushing under her cami top. A cropped tank that protected your breast if you didn't want to wear a bra. She tend to wear them often when around Rafe for these special purposes. And today, she just got lucky.

His thumb grazed the side of her breast. "Can I take this off?"

"Mhm."

"Hey Rafe, I need a the U-"

Before he could continue, Wheezie came barging through the door. Covering her eyes. Rafe groaned at the fact that his sister didn't knock. Knowing whenever the door is closed, you knocked.

"Wheezie, we talked about this-"

"I know. I'm sorry. I keep forgetting," she sighed. "Hi, Y/n."

"Hi, Wheez."

"What do you need? Why aren't you at dinner with dad and Sarah?"

"Halfway through the dinner, Rose threw up because Topper's parents made snail and she didn't like it. She made an excuse saying she was probably coming down with the flu. So we came back early."

"What did the Thornton's say?" Y/n asked. Intrigued by this hilarious story as Rafe put back on his shirt.

"Nothing. Just that we should head home just incase they could catch whatever it was."

"That sounds awesome!"

"Yeah, I know. Hey, wanna see the video."

"Oh absolutely," Y/n exclaimed, getting up from Rafe's bed. He sighed as he watched the two girls laugh at the gross vomiting. Althought part of him was glad Y/n was getting along with his little sister. "That's freaking gross. Cool. Like really cool. But gross."

"Yeah, i'm gonna upload it to my Instagram."

"Tag me?"

"Obviously."

"Awesome! Thanks."

Rafe stood. "So, what did you need?"

"I need the USB cord to connect my phone and laptop to upload the video in a file just in case dad and Rose make me take it down."

He huffed out his breath, walking over to his desk. He opened the top drawer, pulling out a mid-length white cord, handing it to his sister. She thanked him and tried to leave, but Rafe stopped her at the doorway. Death glaring her.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone. Chill out. Not like I wanna talk about it and picture it again."

"We weren't doing anything."

"I may be young, but I'm not stupid."

"She's got a point," Y/n agreed. Wheezie fist bumped her and left. Rafe shutting the door behind her. He turned to Y/n who just shrugged at the annoyed boyfriend of hers.

He smiled as he walked up to her, pushing his face close to hers. "Now, where were we?"

"You tell me."

He chuckled, the vibration against her lips sending chills down her whole body. He kissed her seductively like he did once before. This time Y/n pushed Rafe down onto the large bed, enough room for her to switch that position.

Her hands rested on his ribs as she grinded her clothed area against his member. A moan escaped her lips as a huff left his. The jeans in between them horrifying this exciting interaction.

She swayed her tongue and lips against his neck. His eyes rolling to the back of his head, letting out a grunt. She scooted down a few inches so she wasn't sitting directly on top of his belt.

"God, these pants got to go."

"So do yours."

She undid the strap of his waistline. Next thing was unbuckling his pants. She undid the button that lied above the zipper before grabbing the loose metal tab, pulling it down it's line.

"Rafe, dad needs you downsta- HOLY SHIT!"

"OH MY GOD," he groaned out loud. Y/n pushed herself off the dirty blonde, landing beside him. Sarah stood in the doorway, eyes covered, laughing.

"Stop laughing."

"You guys were totally about to do it," she sang as she pointed between them.

"Shut up, Sarah."

"Dad wants you. Said something about the golf course or country club. One of the two. I don't know," she shrugged as she sat beside Y/n. Rafe looked to his girlfriend.

"I'll be right back. You," he pointed to Sarah. "Be gone before i'm back."

"Will do, dickeroo."

Rafe left downstairs as Sarah turned to Y/n and smiled with eyebrows raised. "What are you staring at?"

"Uh...you. Were you guys about to have sex? Since when?"

"Well our first time together was months ago. Like 3 or 4."

"When we were first friends, you said you never planned on having it until you're married. Since when has that changed?"

She shrugged. "Since I met Rafe."

"You guys are too adorable. Well you, not him. Can't stand him."

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes I can't stand Kelce. I wanna kill him."

"Yeah, well let me get going before Rafe tries to kill me." (No pun intended)

She hugged Y/n before leaving the room, just as Rafe walked back in. This time locking the door before shutting it. "That is the last interruption for the night. I told everyone I was going to bed."

"Well, good cause I am trying to get my freak on," she laughed as he jumped back onto of her. Finishing what they've been trying to start.

Thanks for reading!!!

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bedlamsbard · 3 years

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I got a couple of different asks about Luke and Ahsoka in other side AU 10, so I guess I will just make it a regular post after all so I can answer all of them at once.

@slecnaztemnot:

Okay i just read your latest other side chapter and I wanted to ask about Ahsoka and Luke dynamics. I wonder what exactly where their heretics disagreemts about the jedi doctrine? while i can guess some of the stuff like attachements i guess i mostly see ahsoka as nonjedi and therefore someone who should not be attached to doctrine about attachements (haha) so i am wondering how you see her. i would actually love your take on how their first meetings went. continued in next ask, 1/2

1/2 continuation since most people write them as Ashoka immediately spilling the beans about the whole Vader situation to Luke and yours Ahsoka didn't. So I am curious what do you think Ahsoka feels about it. I got of course lot of it from the fic itself so i am mostly asking about how did you base your interpretation, if that makes sense and what led you to the narrative choices to portray their relationship in such way.

@comentter:

I'm most interested in what Luke and Ahsoka know about each other. Luke doesn't know much about Ahsoka obviously, but does he have any idea why she seems to hate him? He must be desperate lol. And how much does Ahsoka know about what happened on the DS2? And how much does Kanan know about these events? What was Hera able to tell him and what else did Luke and Ahsoka tell him? I always figure that everyone but Luke and a few people he told (like Leia) think the Emperor and Vader from the DS2 explosion.

I now have this image in my head of Ahsoka spending time with Rex and her laughing as Rex does something like tell a joke or a specific gesture. Then Luke walks by, does the exact same thing and Ahsoka is like "Of course, you'd do this stupid thing, you idiot!" :D

I think shortly before I started writing this sequence I had seen some cute art of Luke and Ahsoka hugging, which is a pretty common art trope and which has never sat quite right with me. I also have the tendency to want to do the opposite of common fanon, which I can’t leave out either. I also wanted to logic out what the hell was going on with Ahsoka’s charaterization in her Mando episode on a Watsonian level rather than a Doylist one (which I did a few weeks ago), even if other side takes place well before Mando and doesn’t intersect with it in any meaningful way.

When it came to the Luke and Ahsoka relationship (or lack thereof), it came down to three questions for me:

Who knows what?

What do they know?

When do they know it?

I made the decision early on in the chapter to leave Leia out of this relationship entirely, since the new canon seems to at this point in time (within a year of RotJ) be keeping it relatively quiet that she and Luke are siblings, and it’s not something that Hera would have a reason to know. (Note also that this entire sequence is told from Hera’s POV, which plays into the “who knows what when” angle.)

As per Rebels S4 (not the epilogue, because Mando’s thrown that out the window), Ahsoka knows (or has good reason to believe) the following:

Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader, Sith Lord

Darth Vader was directly or indirectly responsible for the genocide of the Jedi Order and the deaths of any Jedi who survived the Purge (”you and your Inquisitors saw to that”)

Padme Amidala is dead

Obi-Wan Kenobi is dead (Obi-Wan was not dead, but she has no way to know this)

no Darksider can return to the Light side

At the end of RotJ (not taking into account anything that happened in the comics or ancillary novels, which I’m not up to date on), Luke knows (or has good reason to believe) the following:

Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker

everyone Anakin ever knew is dead, mostly because of him

Vader returned to being Anakin Skywalker at the end of his life

(Leia presumably also knows all of this, perhaps with a few more details based on things her parents might have told her, but her feelings about Darth Vader are: Bad, Do Not Want, to be glib about it.)

Now, there’s one other factor here, which is Rex. Rex knew Anakin and knew Ahsoka and was in the Rebel Alliance -- we know that he was on Yavin IV prior to Luke’s arrival and we know that he fought in the Battle of Endor. (And turns up in a couple of scattered art panels from the comics.) If we want to take his brief appearance in Galaxy of Adventures with Han Solo’s strike force as canon, then he may have also known Han and probably Luke -- certainly his ears would have pricked up at the name “Skywalker.” (Okay, there’s one other factor, which is R2-D2, but Artoo never tells anyone anything despite knowing...everything. Or most things, anyway.) Rex doesn’t seem to know that Anakin became Darth Vader (I believe there’s an interview somewhere where Dave or Pablo or someone says that a meeting between Rex and Vader would be “awkward,” but there’s no canonical reason to believe that he knew about the Anakin/Vader connection), but he probably found out at some point that the 501st was the battalion involved in the assault on the Jedi Temple. He also, as of Rebels S3-4, assumes that Vader killed Ahsoka -- presumably Ezra would have told him as much as he could. (And Ezra does know that Vader is Anakin, so he may have told Rex that as well.) Rex also knows that Anakin Skywalker was having an affair with Padme Amidala, but presumably didn’t know about (a) the marriage or (b) the pregnancy, because how would he know?

Then we come to Ahsoka’s return and unfortunately the current canon gives us no time point for when it actually happened: presumably Ahsoka did not or could not return to the greater galaxy at the point she “left”, during the fight on Malachor (3 BBY), because as of Rebels S3-4 everyone still believes she’s dead. Maybe she’s still stuck on Malachor without a way to get off, who knows; maybe after S4 Ezra grabbed her into the World Between Worlds she decided to stay on Malachor until she ~caught up with the main timeline, which...you then have to believe that Ahsoka is going to deliberately remove herself from the war, which I can get to, but is not something I’m totally comfortable with. Or she pops out in the timeline at the same time that Ezra returns to the main timeline and is able to more or less immediately return to the main timeline narrative, plus or minus a few weeks. (There are, after all, still a couple of Advanced TIE fighters parked in the Sith temple, even if they were potentially damaged in the temple collapse. Ahsoka could have repaired them or used the comms systems to call for a pick-up -- this is, btw, what happens in Crown.) We don’t know when the S2 finale scene/S4 WBW scene of Ahsoka walking back into the temple actually takes place in the timeline; it doesn’t have to be at the exact same time as the rest of the S2 finale sequence (since obvs Vader dragging himself out, Maul flying off, and the Rebels crew looking sad doesn’t all take place at the exact same time).

Other side AU is deliberately vague about when Ahsoka returns from the World Between Worlds/Malachor/to the Rebel Alliance; it’s not stated in the story, but I made the assumption that she came back shortly after the (non-epilogue) end of the Rebels finale, but was still deeply messed up from her Malachor revelations. (Also, like, Sidious, I guess, but she was probably so messed up about Anakin/Vader that Sidious being around barely registered.) Since she never seems to have held a formal position in the Rebel Alliance, I assumed that after she returned and let everyone know she was still alive, she then immediately took off to try and figure out what the hell happened with Anakin at the end of the Clone Wars, since she saw him like a week before he snapped and at the time he seemed fine.

The problem is that almost everyone involved is dead.

Now, at this point (shortly before Scarif and ANH), a few people are still alive who then die shortly, but whom Ahsoka may have no reason to believe were involved. Bail Organa, for example, is still around, but aside from him being Padme’s friend Ahsoka doesn’t have a reason to know that Bail was there when Padme died -- and since they were in contact for the nineteen years preceding there’s no reason for her to assume now that he was keeping something for her. Back in the comics (before I stopped reading them), Vader did some digging to figure out what was going on with Padme and his child; Ahsoka probably would have done the same digging (without having to torture anyone), but without necessarily knowing that Padme was pregnant. Knowing the date of Padme’s death (same as the Republic, essentially), she may have had a previous assumption that Padme was assassinated on Palpatine’s orders, but knowing that Vader is Anakin probably moves that assumption closer to the truth, that Anakin was somehow involved in Padme’s death one way or another. Sooner or later Ahsoka will turn up the fact that Padme was pregnant, come to the obvious conclusion that Anakin was the father, and possibly find out the same thing that Vader does in the comics -- that the child was born before Padme died. (But also probably not that Padme was carrying twins, but even if she found that out, it wouldn’t make a difference.)

While Ahsoka is doing her digging (and there really isn’t much information out there to find), the events of Rogue One and ANH happen, and Ahsoka comes back to the Rebel Alliance to find out which of her friends are still alive. (Maybe Rex is with her at this point, who knows.)

Everyone in the Rebel Alliance is talking about some young hotshot named Luke Skywalker.

Luke Skywalker who has a very familiar lightsaber, who claims his father was Anakin Skywalker, and who had some kind of relationship with Obi-Wan Kenobi, who turned up on the Death Star, fought Darth Vader, and died.

Ahsoka has just spent the past few months trying to figure out what happened with Anakin, and as best she can reassemble the facts it mostly comes down to “Anakin did something dumb for Padme, that something dumb was ‘turn to the Dark Side and kill literally everyone,’ and then Padme died, the Republic was overturned, and the Jedi Order was wiped out.” Ahsoka presumably walks into a room, hears the name Luke Skywalker -- maybe sees him -- and is all at once face to face with the living evidence of just how badly Anakin fucked up.

This is just too much for Ahsoka to deal with at the moment, so she takes off again, and spends the next five years brushing in and out of the Rebel Alliance doing odd missions that can really only be done by a trained Force-user. Rex, who seems to have a more stable position in the Alliance, is always going to side with Ahsoka over anyone else; if she tells him not to tell Luke that she knew Anakin, he won’t. (And for that matter, he may have somewhat fraught feelings about Luke himself.) She may have the odd interaction with Luke -- who has heard that there’s another Jedi in the Alliance and wants to be friends/get real training -- but Ahsoka just does not want any part of this. It’s irrational! She knows it’s irrational! But this is the living evidence of Anakin’s failure, Anakin who last she saw him TRIED TO KILL HER, who was at least partially responsible for the deaths of everyone she ever knew. (And honestly, finding out that Vader topped it all off by killing Obi-Wan is not going to help.)

Ahsoka may also be feeling a certain amount of survivor’s guilt: if Ezra had not pulled her out of the Malachor temple at that exact moment, she came pretty close to bringing the temple down on both herself and Vader, and may have succeeded in killing him. She did not do so, and who knows how many people died because of that in the years between Malachor and Yavin? (Just because Tarkin was the one who gave the order doesn’t mean that Ahsoka may at least partially blame Alderaan’s destruction on Vader, if she knew he was on the Death Star then.) She knows he killed Obi-Wan.

The Yoda lineage is very good at going “yikes, I am going off to live alone and beat myself up over my failure for years” and Ahsoka is very much an example of that lineage.

She and Luke have a relationship of “Hi, I’m Luke Skywalker, do you want to talk?” and “I have to leave immediately,” maybe with the odd “please stop using that lightsaber grip it is physically painful for me to watch, do it like this instead, okay, bye.” Luke probably told all of two other people about what happened with Vader on the Death Star, Leia and Han; he has no reason to tell anyone else about it because it won’t matter to them. Why would he tell Ahsoka, whom he has no relationship with? He doesn’t know that Ahsoka knew Anakin Skywalker and would only know if one of four people told him: Ahsoka herself (no), Rex (no), R2-D2 (maybe), or Admiral Ackbar (would never have occurred to Luke to ask, might have occurred to Ackbar to say). (We also don’t know that Mon Mothma knew Ahsoka very well, or at all, for that matter; they never interacted in TCW.)

As for her swinging harder into overt Jedi-ness by Mando after her blatant “I am no Jedi” of Rebels, it reads to me as a response to the Anakin/Vader revelation (especially the attachment thing). She had made certain assumptions in the TCW period (see her saving Rex in the TCW finale) and prior to Rebels; Kanan’s method of Jediness was something she could accept in the time period and in those circumstances; the Anakin/Vader revelation shattered all of that, followed immediately as it was by Kanan apparently going full Jedi self-sacrifice despite his attachments. (Her reaction to Ezra being a trauma response about two very different circumstances.) All of a sudden what she thought might have been mutable based on the circumstances became something that had to be adhered to in case of dangerous results, which she had just had brought home to her in extremely bad circumstances.

I made a crack somewhere about Mando’s central tension being between “being Mandalorian” and “being doing Mandalorianness”; I think in the post-OT period with Ahsoka and Luke we’re seeing something similar with “being Jedi” and “being doing Jediness.” Even if Ahsoka isn’t actively claiming the title Jedi anymore (because what does that accomplish in most contexts?), she’s leaning far more into the tenets of the Jedi Order -- which Luke doesn’t know and doesn’t know he doesn’t know.

Thus the doctrinal dispute.

Ahsoka grew up in the Jedi Order. That’s what she knows, that’s how she knows how to be a Jedi; for her being a Jedi is being part of the Jedi Order, whether or not the actions associated with performing Jediness are being actively practiced. Luke doesn’t have that context. For Luke, being a Jedi is...being doing Jediness. (This is super awkward phrasing.) Performing the actions of a Jedi. Luke has a few holocrons, but I’m guessing that a lot of what is on those holocrons makes the assumption that whoever is opening with them has the context of being a part of the Jedi Order and doesn’t explain really basic stuff about the Order or what that means. Luke’s Jedi Order is not going to be the Republic Jedi Order made anew; it’s going to be something that has a resemblance to it and is based on a similar view of the Force, even arguably its heir, but is just not going to be the same thing. It can’t be. Luke doesn’t know what he doesn’t know.

Kanan, of course, is coming into all of this from a similar context as Ahsoka: he grew up in the Jedi Order, it’s what he knows, it’s who he is. Except Kanan never walked away from the Order, so while Ahsoka had been disconnected from her Jediness at the time of the Purge, he never lost his -- part of Ahsoka’s tension from TCW S7-Rebels was “I can’t be a Jedi because the Order is gone” and Kanan’s was “can I be a Jedi without the Jedi Order?” (Ezra is a whole ‘nother thing but is somewhat outside the scope of this.) The Jedi Order never factors in Luke’s Jediness at all. (There’s some lineage doctrinal dispute here as well -- the Yoda lineage seems to be very closely connected to the Order as the font of Jediness, the Windu-Billaba lineage somewhat less so. The Yoda lineage is like...the hardcore conservatives of the Jedi Order, though, and are probably not typical.)

Poor Kanan came back from the dead, after a week in another universe (which had its own problems; he’s been trying to very gently convince his counterpart that even after being an Inquisitor for months he can still be a Jedi), into Luke trying to build a new Jedi Order from scratch, Ahsoka firmly believing it couldn’t and shouldn’t be done and not wanting to be in the same room as Luke at all (not to mention that she really did not believe that they should have gone for “hey, let’s send Hera Syndulla to another universe” as even being an option), and both of them having essentially incompatible notions of being a Jedi at each other -- this is probably the most time Luke and Ahsoka ever spent in each other’s presence. They’ve probably never articulated their problems at each other, just assumed that the other knew them. And Kanan has his own “how to be a Jedi” approach, which is from a very different than either Ahsoka or Luke because despite originating from the same context as Ahsoka, he had a very different path to get to his present position.

As for what Kanan knows -- uh, pretty much only what Hera knew, and Hera knew very little? She was friendly with Luke and Leia, but didn’t have much interaction with them -- she states that she had a tendency to avoid Luke because even if she would never say it to Luke’s face, she silently believes that if any Jedi should have been in the Rebel Alliance, it should have been Kanan and Ezra and not this relative newcomer. If the Death Star 2 news about Vader and Palps was never common knowledge, then Hera wouldn’t have known it. Kanan’s in a position of having to play catch-up, but also having a completely different priority (finding Ezra). He sat through this meeting where after they’d finished grilling him on “you were in ANOTHER UNIVERSE and also you CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD?” they politely sniped at each other with a bunch of context he didn’t have and flat out decided that wow, he did not want to deal with this at all, whatsoever.

(This is also not stated in the story, but Luke and Ahsoka also disagreed about whether Jacen should be trained or not: Luke said, yeah, of course, when he’s a little older! and Ahsoka said nope, he’ll be fine, it will go away. Hera was just very “...I will deal with this later” about it since it wasn’t an urgent issue.)

#also thanks to reena-jenkins and isweedan for talking this out with me #other side au tag

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adamarks · 5 years

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simon snow has fucking dragon powers or some shit and this is my goddamn proof

Whilst you people were having a meltdown over Baz and Simon not hashing it out (Simon’s not in a place of understanding his self worth enough for that yet.), I was having a meltdown about Simon Snow The Literal Fucking Dragon.

Now, this is obviously going to have major spoilers for Wayward Son. I’m going to assume you’ve read it if you’re reading this. I’ve put a lot of thought into this theory and this is a long ass post so I’m putting it under the cut. Now. Let’s go, lesbians!

First and foremost, let’s start with the wings and tail.

Simon’s wings are established at the very beginning of Wayward Son to represent something. We don’t really get to quite know what that something is until they start referring to Simon’s wings the same way they used to refer to his magic.

The most direct reference to Simon’s wings symbolizing his magic is in Simon’s section of the prologue at the very end of the book:

“It’s time for me to stop pretending I’m some sort of superhero. I was that-- I really was-- but I’m not anymore. I don’t belong in the same world as sorcerers and vampires. That’s not my story.

Dr. Wellbelove said he could remove the wings. And the tail. Whenever I’m ready. I could go back to school then, or get a job...”

This section directly confirms that yes, these wings are a metaphor for Simon’s magic. They’re all he has left connect him to the world of magic. They’re the only thing still making him feel even remotely on the same level as Baz and Penelope. (This book really was all about the concept of self-worth and how completely lacking it affects not only us but those we love. Phew, talk about a doozy. No wonder we’re all crying.)

Now that we’ve established that Simon’s wings, at the very least, are his one tether to magic, let’s drive the nail into the coffin of the wings and tail being absolutely, 100% symbolic of his magic.

As I mentioned earlier, the book starts treating the wings exactly the same as it treated his magic. This even starts before Wayward Son. The first mention of Simon’s emotions relating to his wings and tail is in the first book. In the epilogue, in Baz’s section, during the dance scene.

“His tail whips out of my hand. It tends to slash around when he’s upset.”

This really starts to come out in the last fourth of Wayward when he’s “itching for a fight.”

His wings constantly poke, prod, and generally annoy Baz and Penny because he refuses to put them away. Almost.... like... how his magic..... felt suffocating.... and too much... and he couldn’t push it back... or tamp it down. *cough*

Okay, so that was all pretty basic, boring, base-building stuff, yeah? Pretty “whatever we get it.”

Well, here’s where it starts to get fun.

Let’s talk about Simon’s Mirrors.

Lemme just explain what the hell a mirror is, first. In case we all flunked our high school Lit classes.

A mirror character is, in simple terms, a character that acts, looks like, or reminds you of one of the main characters. Through these “mirror characters” some important information about the main character is revealed to us subtextually.

Let’s name our Simon mirrors:

Ebb

Agatha (she’s being developed as her own character but that’s not stopping her from mirroring our good lad.)

Aunt Fiona (to some extent anyway. she doesn’t really factor here.)

There might be some minor ones I’m forgetting (I’m not including foils) but these are our main guys.

I put Ebb on the list first, but let’s start with Agatha, the cranky heroine of our dreams.

Throughout the whole first book, Agatha is shown to be Simon’s mirror. Them both mooning over Baz in almost the exact same way. (Jesus Christ they’re embarrassing to watch.) The waiting on rooftops, the handkerchief. (Don’t get me started on Simon carrying around Baz’s scarf in Wayward. I’m soft and everything hurts. Our poor, stupid, stupid boys.) It’s not exactly subtle.

In Carry On, Agatha reveals just how much Simon also resents his fate. He never really expresses it, but Agatha is reflecting to us how he’s feeling. They both get progressively less resigned to the bullshit “Chosen One” fate as the book goes on. They both make it out alive. Maybe everything will be okay.

But then Rainbow rolls up with a Sex On The Beach and Gucci sunglasses to tell us that “fuck no everything’s not okay.” (She’s right. God, I could go on a rant about how no one ever talks about how you feel when you’ve defeated the villain. When you’ve escaped the dungeon. Hhhhh)

Wayward Son immediately sets Agatha up as even more of a mirror than she was in the first book. We’re shown right away that the two of them are both in a depressed funk. They’re both at “15%” and miserable. These two are echoing each other like NEVER before and I am LIVING for it.

Like, we even get this amazing bit in Chapter Four:

“That would feel like an answer to... the question of me. Then I could say, ‘Oh, that’s who I am. That’s why I’ve been so confused.’”

They! Are! Struggling!

Now, how does this relate to Simon having literal fucking dragon powers? Good question, thank you for asking.

In Chapter Fifty-Six, when Pen and Agatha are stuck in the back of Fuckwad Vampire #3′s car, Agatha says this:

“I honestly thought I could walk away from it all-- like magic was a place. Like magic was a person. Or a habit I could break.

When Simon first came to Watford, he couldn’t make his wand work. He could barely cast a spell. He thought they were going to kick him out, that he wasn’t magic enough.

“You don’t do magic,” Penelope told him. “You are magic.”

I... am magic.

Whether I like it or not, whether or not I claim it. Whether or not I carry my wand.

It’s in me, somehow. Blood, water, bone.”

They!! Are!! Both!! Magic!!

Magic is in them! Magic is with them! They’re made of the stuff! They can’t cut off this part of them, no matter how much they want to. (lmao. talk about good old internalized homophobia. I don’t really have an opinion on what Agatha’s sexuality is, btw. I’m using homophobia as a blanket term because I have no clue what’s up on that front.)

Simon is made of magic. He doesn’t want to remove his wings. Even though he has to hide them. Even though he thinks he’s a Normal now. Like Penny said, “an aeroplane is still an aeroplane even if it’s on the ground.” (I’m not sure that’s verbatim, apologies.)

Simon still has magic. We just can’t see it. He’s made of magic. He is magic. He was literally conceived during a spell. Bitch is as magical as you can get.

But where is the magic???? Where’d it go???? Hello????

I’m getting there. I promise. First, we need to talk about Ebb.

Ebb wasn’t only Simon’s weird Aunt figure; she was his mirror. Ebb was what would’ve happened to Simon if he hadn’t rejected the mage at the end of Carry On. Ebb just gave in. She didn’t want to fight anymore, and she figured Shithead The Great knew more than she did.

God I just fucking hate Mage so much like holy shit. Anyway, anyway.

Ebb was the strongest magician next to Simon. She didn’t want to fight. She didn’t want to use her magic for any great purpose. She just wanted to be. Agatha even reiterates this in the epilogue of Carry On.

“Like, they couldn’t just let her be.”

(No, Simon doesn’t miss killing things in Wayward. He misses excitement and having a purpose. He mainly misses having a purpose. Not having one of those fucking sucks.)

What the fuck does Ebb have to do with this? Why can’t I just get to the point?

My point is!

My Point IS!

That goddamn dragon with the sheep was supposed to remind you of Ebb.

So, let’s do the math. If 1=1x1= 1 then...

Ebb = Margaret = Simon

Sure, sure we had Simon screeching that he wasn’t a dragon. But Margaret was immediately like,

“Not yet.” She pets his wing. “Are kitten. Someday dragon. Someday ferocious.”

Simon smells like a dragon, but also apparently “smells like iron.” Whatever the fuck that means. I mean I guess it means that Baz could still sippy sippy. (Which is gonna happen or I’ll eat my own toe.)

One more thing:

“I wanted wings,” he says. “I wanted to fly.”

“Why tail?”

“I wanted to be free!”

Gee, that sure sounds like what Agatha was saying earlier, huh?

YEAH OKAY HE’S HALF DRAGON!! WE’VE ESTABLISHED THAT!!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I ON ABOUT!!!!

Omg thank you for asking. I’m going to blow your mind with my final point.

The Final Point: The Baz Problem.

Wayward Son is, by all accounts, Baz’s book. It develops everyone beautifully and everyone has an arc, but this book is where Baz gets to shine.

We found out in this book that vampires are immortal.

This introduced a whole new issue, an issue that surfaces every time immortality is introduced as a possibility for one character but not the rest.

Someday, Baz will be left alone.

He’ll inevitably outlive everyone he cares about. We all know our poor, beautiful, delicate bastard boy couldn’t take it. How deeply he cares is his most beautiful and wonderful trait, and this could break him.

I wonder, how long does a dragon live?

Penny talks about the improbability of Simon and Baz in Chapter Three.

“Star-cross’d lovers. ‘From forth the fatal loins of these two foes.’ The whole shebang.”

Simon’s magic was always described as smoke and fire. The first creature we learn about Simon fighting was a dragon. (Chapter 1, first page of Carry On)

“You’ve slain a dragon, Simon. Surely you can manage a long walk and a few buses.”

God, I just really hate Bitchface the Mage. Anywho.

Simon. The One Who Came to End Us. Simon. The One To Save Us All. Simon is the dragon and the knight. He’s his own worst enemy. His arc will be completed once he accepts the “dragon” part of himself. It’s poetic as fuck, I must admit.

Simon has to find love and care for himself, and then this baby dragon will be grown. He’ll be “on top” as Margaret had said. (God, could you imagine all the dragons waking up? How fucking epic would THAT be? Fingers crossed.)

The monster that drains living things and the monster that burns all in its wake. These losers are starcrossed, but they complete each other. Dumbasses. I just love them so much why can’t they get their shit together.

Simon and Baz’s storylines are utterly intertwined. They’re perfectly matched. Simon might not know it, but their hearts are already tied together; they beat in sync. They’re two stars orbiting each other. And, if we’re all very lucky, maybe they won’t crash. Maybe this story won’t end in flames.

So, in conclusion, I really really really want Simon to breathe fire. The only other way I could see this twisting is the wings somehow going away and Simon getting a regular-magician amount of magic. That’s kinda lame tho and doesn’t complete his arc correctly. This dumb boy is a dragon now and there’s nothing we can do about it. (EDIT: actually yeah simon’s not gonna lose his wings no way in fuck. check out my meta.) Also? I would sell my soul to see Simon getting really possessive over really weird objects for his hoard.

Thank you for sticking with me this far, dear reader. I’ll leave you with this thought: Baz is Donkey and Simon is the dragon from Shrek.

Check out my other meta on the future of simon and baz’s relationship and how penny and agatha relate

scarf meta as well check it

Gonna be tagging peeps so this can circulate better.

@carrybits @neck-mole @watfordwallflower

#Wayward Son #wayward son spoilers #Carry On #Simon and Baz #Simon Snow #Baz Pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #penelope bunce #agatha wellbelove #ebb the goatherd #meta #carry on meta #wayward son meta #snowbaz #this will end in flames #long post #i did put a read more

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the-writer-ofthe-fandoms · 6 years

Text

Gift of Sight (Lucifer Morningstar)

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar/Reader Words: 1.7k+ Warning(s): None A/N: OOF i am back everyone! kind of. ill try and write more today ^^ I hope you enjoy! The ending is bleh btw im sorry Request: Can I request a Lucifer Morningstar x reader? The reader has a gift of sight and she can see his true form even when he looks human to other people? He's surprised she isn't afraid but she's more turned on than anything. He falls for her easily since she isn't afraid of who he really is.

You checked over your appearance one last time in your mirror before you left your new apartment in Los Angeles. You had recently moved to L.A. from your hometown due to a job transfer. You were a crime scene photographer for your hometowns police and the LAPD needed a new one, so they offered you a well-paying job and you accepted. Your whole body buzzed with excitement and nervousness for your first day.

"Can't forget my camera on the first day!" You said to yourself. You grabbed the black case and made sure to check that our camera was there before you left out the door. You took an Uber to the LAPD and arrived ten minutes early, just as you planned. You wanted to get to know some of your co-workers and to get a tour of the building.

As you walked up the steps to the precinct, you notice a very beautiful woman walk out of the building. She had long black hair with tan skin, which complimented her dark outfit quiet well. You made eye contact with her and for a few seconds, her face shifted into something else. Half of her face was still the same, but the other side was like it was burned or rotted away, leaving grey and black skin. Her once dark eye looked clouded with a yellow tinted white.

She stared at you as you both walked past each other, she stared too. The woman's face was pure shock before and you decided best to just look away and keep walking forward to the building. Whatever you just saw was strange, but you tried your best to just let whatever happen go. You needed a clear head for your first day.

You've been at the LAPD for two hours and you were already having a blast. You were spending most your time with Ella Lopez, the forensic scientist for the LAPD. She is very outgoing and made sure you felt at home; even giving you a tour of her lab. Currently, you both were in the lab as she told you about all her close friends who work alongside with her.

"Chloe Decker and Lucifer Morningstar are like the top team here." She explained, "They work well together but Lucifer can get a bit... arrogant? Yeah that can work for him. But he is still a good guy nonetheless. Chloe is great too. She's a good worker and an awesome friend."

"I can't wait to meet them." You smile with excitement.

"Oh, I can't forget about Dan Espinoza! He's a really sweet guy and a good detective, despite his past."

Ella told you more about people in the station, and some of the gossip too, just to keep you in the loop. As she told you the relationship theories between one of the officers and the janitor staff, she dropped her story mid story and dragged you out to the main floor, towards two people at a desk.

"Lucifer! Chloe! Meet our new crime scene photographer!" Ella smiled as she called out. The man and woman turned around and smiled as well. Your eyes went to the blonde woman first, she had a kind look and presence about her.

"Hello, I'm Chloe." She greeted, shaking your hand.

"I'm (Y/N). I can't wait to work with you." You responded.

"Hello, darling." The man's British voice pulled your attention away from Decker. You looked to the tall, handsome man. But once your (e/c) eyes met his dark eyes, his face became distorted. You were taken back his face, it was red and marred, his eyes were sunken in while their color was a blood red. You gulped and broke eye contact with him, his face was back to normal. From the look of his face Lucifer was also taken back as well.

"Well, I should probably get you more familiar with the lab, (Y/N)." Ella pulled you away, back into the lab room. "What was that?"

"Did... Did you see that?" You stuttered, wondering if she too could see what you had just saw.

"Yeah, you and Lucifer were making googly eyes at each other! Like you were having a rom-con 'love at first glance' moment." Ella exclaimed with a grin on her face. "Oh my gosh you guys are soulmates!"

"What? No! It's just," You paused for a second, wondering if you should tell her wat you had saw a few moments ago, "He looks a lot like someone I know back where I used to live, I thought he might've been that person."

"Oh, uh huh..." She smirked but thankfully she dropped the subject and went on to showing you the lab.

You through your keys on the corner table and closed your apartment door. Despite it being an easyi-sh day, you still were tired after all you learned. You put your bag down and immediately put on pajama bottoms for some comfort before going to the kitchen. Right as you were about to make yourself some food, there was a knock on your door. Your head fell back and you groaned but went to answer the door anyways. To your surprise, Lucifer Morningstar was standing in front of you.

"Oh hey, Lucifer... How did you find where I lived?" You asked, a little cautious since he hardly know him, and because of what you saw.

"Easy, the police data base." He smiled, but you can tell by his body language he was nervous.

"Why are you here, may I ask?"

"It's best if we talk sitting down... Can I come in?" He asked. You nodded and invited him, watching him carefully as he strutted towards your couch.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"No thank you dear." You joined him on the couch, he was squirming and fidgeting. "Well, I'll just right to the point: you can see my devil face."

"That's what you call it? A devil face?" You didn’t mean to giggle, but it was a funny way to describe it. "Wait was that woman I saw in front of the L.A.P.D. a demon?"

"Mazikeen? Kind of scary looking, wears a lot of leather, half her face gone?" You nod, his description of her was exact. "So how can you see us both? I mean, how can you see our faces? How does it work? How-"

"Whoa whoa, Lucifer. I don’t know anything, I didn't even know I could see your true faces until today!"

"You have to come to my apartment tomorrow, to test how much you can see. Starting with my angel of a brother!" He exclaimed. "I cannot believe I found a human who can see my devil face, this is amazing!"

"So, I guess demons and angels are real..."

"Sorry if seeing my face is frightening or off putting. I know for you humans it can be a lot to take in."

"No, no! You don't scare me. I was startled at first, but it isn't so bad. I bet you’re a real sweet guy...devil?"

"Do you really mean that, (Y/N)?"

"Of course, Lucifer. Can't judge a book by its cover, right?" You smiled sweetly while he stared with his mouth open. "Would you like to stay the night? Just to chat and figure out my whole seeing thing."

"I would love to darling."

It has been a month since your first day at the L.A.P.D. and to say you and Lucifer were close was an understatement. You two were attached to the hip. He would hardly ever leave your side and grew extremely protective of you; even Mazikeen and Amenadiel grew close and protective of you. Chloe and Ella were you closest friends and Dan become a brother to you, you quickly grew your own little family here in Los Angeles. Lucifer even introduced you to his therapist, who connected with you due to you both have seen his real face.

You were currently at a diner near Lucifers apartment with him in tow. He and you were getting breakfast before work. He sat across from you, enjoying a traditional American breakfast, while you enjoyed (food of choice). You picked up on his nervous behavior and notice his face seemed to flash in-between human and Devil to you, a thing you noticed when he felt anxious.

"Is everything alright, Luci?" You asked, using the nickname you picked up from Amenadiel. "You are more fidgety than usual."

"Oh yes of course! Of course, dear." He replied to quickly, taking a bite out of his food.

"You know I can tell you are lying, your face is flickering."

"I guess I need to get this off my chest." Lucifer wiped the corners of his mouth with a napkin and cleared his throat, before he stared directly into your eyes. "You are... the first human to see my face without me purposely showing it to you, and you fully accepted me for me. You always support me but you are never afraid to speak up if I do something truly stupid. I guess what I am attempting to tell you, dear... Is I really... Oh hell!"

Next thing you knew is Lucifer slid out from his side and was immediately at your side, his soft lips were on yours. One of his hands was placed on your jaw, while this thumb gently brush against your warm cheeks. You were in shock, but it was good shock. Immediately you melted into the kiss, reciprocating while your hand rested on one of his shoulders.

"Lucifer..." You say over a whisper, a smile slowly growing on your face as you broke apart from him.

"I'm quite smitten with you, dear. Ever since you invited me to stay the night at your apartment, I've fallen hard for you."

"I can say the same for myself. I've grown to really like you as well." You both smiled. Lucifer pulled his plate over next to you and sat down, pulling you to is side with his arm around your shoulders. HE sat confidently, but had a charming smile on his face, not his usual smirk.

"Eat up dear, we are going on a date day."

"But what about work?"

"I'll pull some strings, today is a day for you and me, darling."

#lucifer #Lucifer Morningstar #Lucifer Fox #luci #lucifer morningstar imagines #lucifer morningstar fox #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar imagine

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testosterone-diaries · 7 years

Text

Big big big decision coming up in the next few days – I’m planning to call the surgeon’s office on Monday and ask them for a more specific time that I can expect a call to book the consult for my top surgery. If they can’t or won’t give me something more than “8-12 months”, which is what they’ve said every time I’ve called (November 15 my referral was sent, December 15 officially confirmed, late January confirmed once more, and they’ve said 8-12 months in each of those calls), then I’ll be getting in touch with a legal system that is in place to deal with human rights violations. I feel very strange about calling this a human rights violation, I don’t how to feel about it, but I was told even several months ago that filing a human rights violation thing is a good plan to consider, and heard it again today. There are three surgeons in the province who work under our provincial health care that covers transition related surgeries, and of the three, two have had their waitlist closed for at least a year now. (Which I found out the hard way after waiting 8 months to confirm my first referral, and then calling last fall to find out where on the waitlist I was and being told that I am not on their list because their list is and was closed for several months already.) All of this being said - we need to somehow draw attention to the fact that the health care is making so so many transgender people live with their dysphoria for months and even years on a wait list - my process so far has involved a psychiatrist to diagnose me with gender dysphoria and refer me to a local endocrinologist, who, when I was finally able to see her (a wait anywhere between 3 and 9 months, depending on cancellations), and then her ask about my social transition and determine that it was not progressed far enough, so I couldn’t start hormones yet. Her criteria involved me having come out to everyone in my life, be working and living as myself, a male, for 12+ months, and to have that diagnosis from the psychiatrist, know the risks and benefits of testosterone, and not seem like I was completely new to myself. So no hormones, and about a year longer of waiting to get a second appointment, because I was out of the country at the time my follow-up was scheduled (or not scheduled, because when I called to reschedule, they couldn’t find my name in the system suddenly.) When I got back into the country, I moved cities, and was fortunately able to find a doctor here in the city who did hormone starts. She wanted to see and get to know me for 3(ish) months before she was comfortable with starting me on hormones, but when I told her about the situation with the endocrinologist, and the pending appointment in my former city, she recommended that I go there to get started and she would monitor my levels for me and make the changes as needed, making sure I was safe and comfortable and healthy on testosterone as best she could. I was also referred then to the psychiatrist who could refer me for top surgery, with only a five week wait, compared to the 2+ years for a gender therapist who would be able to refer me eventually, if I ever managed to see them. When I saw the psychiatrist, he was okay with referring me for top surgery, a bit over a year ago, but only after taking his time with asking what he seemed to feel were relevant and appropriate questions (do you experience dysphoria, yes, tell me about it; do you want lower surgery ever, no, do you pack, no, why not? etc., despite me having been asking for a referral for top surgery only, and being very firm on the fact that I did not want to have phalloplasty and did not see myself changing my mind in the foreseeable future. Btw, it’s nothing against phalloplasty either, I just have a hard time with even packing because everything feels unusually bulky and difficult to move, and I’m just not prepared for a decision like that at this point.) I was unable to attend my follow-up meeting with the psychiatrist because I was again out of the country, but did connect with him over the phone, and he reassured me that my referral had been sent in and I would hear when they were ready to meet me directly. The reason I called the surgeon when I did was to make sure that my phone number and legal name were up to date in their system, and that’s when I found out that they had no record of me at all, no referral had been accepted, etc. In a panic, I tried to contact my psychiatrist, but couldn’t get through, left multiple messages, etc., until finally in early November, he called me back, and seemed shocked to hear that the wait list had been closed for several months and my referral evidently declined. He let me know that he would send through a new referral to a different surgeon, the third in the province who had just recently opened their waitlist, and on November 15, he did send the referral. I called the surgeon in December, but they didn’t know yet if the surgeon was going to accept my referral or not. December 15, I called again, because I couldn’t wait any longer, and they were able to confirm that my referral had been accepted, and for the second time told me that the wait list was 8-12 months. I called once more near the end of January, terrified that the referral had been cancelled, misplaced, or some other crappy thing, but they again confirmed that I was on the list and it was 8-12 months for a consultation. I haven’t heard from them since, and I’m too scared to call, because I don’t want them to be frustrated with me and sneakily move me down the wait list even further. Monday, I’m going to call, and if they can’t give me anything better than 8-12 months, I’m going to set up a meeting to discuss a human rights violation filed against the provincial health care. We need better than this, we deserve better than this. It’s horrible that there are three surgeons for hundreds of transgender patients who are wanting gender affirming surgeries, and no out of province/country options. We have to jump through so so many hoops but my jumping days have gone on for far too long. It’s time to make a change, it’s time to finally speak out about this. I’m tired of waiting for the system to get its shit together and find a way to give transgender people the health care they need, without having to search and wait years and years to MAYBE find a doctor or endocrinologist or surgeon or therapist who will give us such basic care.. I’ll keep this updated on if I end up making the meeting or if the wait list seems to be moving along and not simply prioritizing those who pay out of pocket instead of those who are getting surgery covered by insurance (3+/- months if you pay out of pocket, no wonder the wait is so damn long!).

#transgender #transition #surgery #waitlist #waitlisted

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